S15.E18: San Diego Reunion, Part 1

[thatsall]

1 hour ago, Kimboweena said:

It's too bad they ended so early. If you remember, Binh was super frugal (no lights at night to save on electricity, only washing clothes certain times of the day). I would love to have seen how Morgan would have dealt with that.  He's going to be hard pressed to find a woman that will put up with that.

Indeed. As well as his evidently culturally ingrained idea that if his mother finds something "wrong" with his partner, he wants her to tell him so he can "fix it". What the actual hell with this noise.

[thatsall]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Nate's compliments may have actually been intended in a condescending way.  Like the kind of thing you tell someone knowing they'll think you meant it but you're really having them on because for some reason you don't have much respect for them.  I have seen this done before many times.

@Yeah No Excellent point, and precisely why I'm dubious of compliments except from those I know well. Words are often cheap and manipulative and in my experience it's more often the case when women are complimenting other women.

There was the case seasons ago of double-oven Greg serving his continual and impersonal compliment buffet to no-BS Deonna, who set him straight until he could give her a sincere one. But in that case, I believe he wasn't trying to manipulate, he just didn't have much relationship experience and (as he said) was telling her what he thought all women wanted to hear 🙄 . So much wrong with this, but he got his act together and they seem to be happy now.

Yes, I wonder what would move Nate to compliment, of all people, Justin, on anything, even before he got to know (that he didn't like) him. Justin is one of the least masculine participants ever to take part in this show; there is an effeminate quality not only about his face and voice, but also his soft and gangly body despite its height. His always-compensating demeanor, blathering on about his celibacy, and constantly referring to his alleged large phallus just rates him even higher on the Pass! meter.  IMO, even if Nate is bi or pan, I can't see him being attracted to that. I can't see anyone being attracted to that, frankly.

Edited November 3, 2022 by thatsall

[StatisticalOutlier]

17 minutes ago, thatsall said:

His always-compensating demeanor, blathering on about his celibacy, and constantly referring to his alleged large phallus just rates him even higher on the Pass! meter.

That reminds me--no comments here about the fact that he and Alexis got jiggy on their wedding night and lied about it.

Hmm...not that I have a comment, either, now that I think about it.

[Retired at last]

29 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

no comments here about the fact that he and Alexis got jiggy on their wedding night and lied about it.

Well,  I don't know why Justin insisted that they keep it a secret, but maybe Alexis didn't consider it actually done since she didn't seem to get anything from it, so there was nothing to mention? They are both just plain weird.

[seacliffsal]

It seems to me that the only happy couples are Lindy and Miguel along with Morgan and Binh (???).  Stacia really didn't even look at Nate, Krysten continues to project onto Mitch, and Alexis and Justin...there truly are no words for their train wreck.

Krysten has projected onto Mitch the entire season and in this episode she stated that she didn't believe him about not being attracted to her, reinterpreted many things he said throughout the season, and answered questions for him while saying "correct me if I'm wrong."  I think there were a lot of things about her that put Mitch off from her (but I still don't like him) and which may be issues for her in the future.  Don't answer for someone else!  And don't discount things someone else says (such as "I'm not attracted to you").

Stacia continues to see no wrong with herself and that Nate still isn't meeting her expectations.  Hopefully they both know someone who can either remove tattoos or else turn them into another design.

Justin and Alexis...sigh.  Neither one is ready for a relationship.  I also think Justin received a pretty good edit throughout the season, because the Justin I watched at the end of the decision day episode and then in this episode sure is different from the one I watched for the entire season until now.  He and Alexis together-no wonder they delighted in causing problems for the other couples (and I remember how smug they were about their own relationship at the beginning of the season).

Oh, and Kevin? Put on a tie-you are the host of this show, look the part.

[Spectator]

Any chance the reunion was filmed while the season had already started to air on tv?

If that is indeed the case then I think Krysten’s “self-love” at the reunion might have been a reaction to her receiving so much feedback from viewers during the season who thought she was lacking in self esteem as she continually accommodated Mitch and all his Mitch-ness all season long while receiving so little in return. The problem is she overcorrected and instead of showing strength and confidence she came off as conceited and in denial of the truth. 

[Retired at last]

11 minutes ago, Spectator said:

Any chance the reunion was filmed while the season had already started to air on tv?

At one point they were asked what they had learned about themselves while watching the show. That's when Krysten said she enunciated too much and Alexis said that she learned that the word was "celibate," NOT the way she said it, "celibent." None of them commented on how often they said, "like," or that the women needed to wear a bra.

[Spectator]

Jeez…How many times have people affiliated with this show asked Mitch if there’s a chance he might be attracted to or reconcile with Krysten? The guy has been pretty clear again and again that he is not interested. He ultimately said it in a very diplomatic way on decision day saying that he was not as into Krysten as she deserves from her partner…that’s a very kind way of saying “I’m just not that into you”). And despite his clarity, the couples immediately asked if Mitch thought he would ever walk through Krysten’s open door, totally putting him on the spot. Um…if he thought here was a chance that things could work out between them, wouldn’t he have said yes on decision day??? Then again Kevin pounded Mitch with comparable questions at the reunion…are you still attracted to Krysten? Could you see yourself getting back together with Krysten? Etc. I actually felt bad for Mitch…how many times does he have to say “I’m just not that into you” - he didn’t want to hurt her feelings but people just kept pressing over and over and over.

[Spectator]

23 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

Alexis is still insulting  Justin about their sex life … on television.  Boundaries please 

Yep. For the second time, no less. B*I*T*C*H.

I think she thinks it cute when she says it too. Hey Alexis: IT’S NOT CUTE! It just makes you look like a nasty b!

[Elizzikra]

Quote

she stated that she didn't believe him about not being attracted to her

I like Krysten. I really do. And mostly I didn't think she came off as conceited. I think it's great when women are confident and know what they have going for them. But I did think that she conflated "being conventionally attractive" to "Mitch is attracted to me." I don't think Mitch was ever attracted to Krysten. I do think that Krysten is conventionally attractive. She just didn't do it for Mitch. 

Quote

the women needed to wear a bra.

They don't "need" to wear anything. I'm not a huge fan of the visible boob but that's my taste. If these women aren't hurting from a lack of support, they can wear (or not) anything they want. This generation is much more comfortable without a bra and I don't think they should feel like they "have to"wear them.

[shok]

9 hours ago, Lindz said:

I can't believe Krysten denying Mitch was not attracted! How about asking Mitch (to dig his hole even deeper) & ask what he found unattractive??? He should be able to be super direct. 🤣🤣

Mitch never said Krysten was unattractive. Ever. He did say he wasn't attracted to her which is entirely different. Thank goodness we are all attracted to different people or this world would be a very dull place. Different times, different places, I would be attracted to Mitch and his brain and his politics. Krysten just looked down her snooty nose at him and let the world know he wasn't good enough for her. He'd be good enough for me!  😉

3 hours ago, Spectator said:

Jeez…How many times have people affiliated with this show asked Mitch if there’s a chance he might be attracted to or reconcile with Krysten? The guy has been pretty clear again and again that he is not interested. He ultimately said it in a very diplomatic way on decision day saying that he was not as into Krysten as she deserves from her partner…that’s a very kind way of saying “I’m just not that into you”). And despite his clarity, the couples immediately asked if Mitch thought he would ever walk through Krysten’s open door, totally putting him on the spot. Um…if he thought here was a chance that things could work out between them, wouldn’t he have said yes on decision day??? Then again Kevin pounded Mitch with comparable questions at the reunion…are you still attracted to Krysten? Could you see yourself getting back together with Krysten? Etc. I actually felt bad for Mitch…how many times does he have to say “I’m just not that into you” - he didn’t want to hurt her feelings but people just kept pressing over and over and over.

Good post. I agree with much you have to say. 👍

[Lindz]

So sad when the ones who want it the most get a bad spouse. Krysten can say she would've said no all she wants. Kevin should've FOLLOWED UP & asked when she decided, what made it a no?

[Lindz]

Stacia overdid it with the stuff on her eyes. Didn't look good. The dress was a nice style.

[Lindz]

A selfie wall? Figures. I see why they cut it. A lot of him taking pics was probably cut since it made him look bad on the honeymoon. 🤣

[Ms.C.]

Late I know but…

Justin is paranoid IMO. Perceives emotionally and usually negatively. Too bad.   

Alexis hard to read for me.  I was up and down with her. Also insecure. Don’t dislike her. 

Mitch doesn’t really want marraige. Again, my opinion.  Happy batching it.  Seemed to prefer Krystens mom at the wedding.  

I like Krysten.  Seems like she’s tired if being left behind. She has great personality, is smart, high achiever.  Likely a history of rejection. Esp with exotic mom getting attention

Nate and Stacia - not much to say. They were hot and heavy.  Hope they make it. I never try to predict gay.  

Binh and ? not a good match. 

Lucky Lindy and Miguel - I didn’t think they were suited at first.   Of all the brides and grooms, these two just seemed the most normal from get-go.   Neither one needy in any way.  

Really, my heart hurts for some of these people who either bring personal problems that hurt them in new relationships or are plain in ways men are not attracted-Krysten.  I hope she starts socializing in mixed activities because she’s a lot of fun and hope she is physically engaging in fun sports   Join a softball team, Krysten   Or beach volleyball   That’s where you’d find a match I think   And do lose the make up.  You have a beauty that emerges when you’re more physical.  

Edited November 4, 2022 by Ms.C.
Changed word

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, thatsall said:

Yes, I wonder what would move Nate to compliment, of all people, Justin, on anything, even before he got to know (that he didn't like) him. Justin is one of the least masculine participants ever to take part in this show; there is an effeminate quality not only about his face and voice, but also his soft and gangly body despite its height. His always-compensating demeanor, blathering on about his celibacy, and constantly referring to his alleged large phallus just rates him even higher on the Pass! meter.  IMO, even if Nate is bi or pan, I can't see him being attracted to that. I can't see anyone being attracted to that, frankly.

Thank you I have been thinking all of that all season about Justin, that he has a very effeminate way and look about him, which is in and of itself not a bad thing but IMHO not necessarily attractive from a female POV, then couple that with the cringe worthy boasting about his size down there and it feels like an attempt at compensation.  The fact that his mind would go straight to Nate making a pass at him based on some compliments might be more projection than anything else!  He may actually have had men come on to him in the past so he's predisposed to thinking it's happening again.  Or he likes to flatter his ego thinking he's attractive to both sexes, ugh.

[Yeah No]

43 minutes ago, Ms.C. said:

Alexis hard to read for me.  I was up and down with her. Also insecure. Don’t dislike her. 

My husband has won me over to the idea that Alexis is an evil, back-stabbing, shit stirring B with a capital B.  Her facial expressions and body language do suggest that to me, so it wasn't that far of a stretch for me to get to that point.  She's the person that quietly lights the match and then sits back and enjoys the fire she started, all the while getting off Scot-free in the eyes of others who she has schmoozed into thinking she's really their friend, when she's not.  She passed herself off as this innocent, interested confidant to the others and they seem to have bought into it, meanwhile they are completely oblivious as to the malicious and intentional way she contributed to destroying their relationships.  Going to Morgan under the guise of "helping" her to tell her about Binh's breach of confidence with her was actually a malicious act, not one intended to help.  And now really it's as plain as the nose on my face and I am just dumbfounded that none of them seem to see it and the show has given her the relatively positive edit it has.  I think she's the one that had the best edit of all.

[Yeah No]

53 minutes ago, Ms.C. said:

I like Krysten.  Seems like she’s tired if being left behind. She has great personality, is smart, high achiever.  Likely a history of rejection. Esp with exotic mom getting attention

I like Krysten too but I think she might have a history of trying to make a go of relationships with men who weren't that into her and Mitch was just the next one who fit that description.  I think Mitch brought her right back to her fiancé who canceled their wedding in that it was a blow to her self confidence with men, but I get the feeling this might be a pattern with her and why she's still single.  She may have been misreading the signs with her ex too and living in denial about how he was not 100% invested in her, which is how she got all the way to the point of planning a wedding with him.  I think most women would have felt that ambivalence in their partner and would not have taken things to the point of planning a wedding with them.  She is so desperate that she totally ignores those signs and proceeds optimistically like she thinks he just has cold feet or whatever.  Perhaps she was pushing for marriage and her ex was complying and going along with it, but then finally had a "decision day" of his own where he finally had the guts to completely back out.  I think Mitch might have also been giving into her pressure for the entire season and was only able to completely back out at the 11th hour.  I think Krysten would marry pretty much any man with a pulse at this point.  I also sense she has daddy issues, which is probably the source of this.

[Mr. Miner]

I have to cut Alexis a little slack. Living with the embarrassment that is Justin for eight weeks was probably hell.

[Yeah No]

I feel sorry for Binh, feeling forced into taking the entire blame for the failure of the marriage.  I wish he had a spine to bring up the fact that Morgan is really the one not ready for marriage.  That she can acknowledge and "accept" his apologies but still not give him a chance says it all to me.  If she's supposedly forgiven him then why not give him a chance?  Although if I were him I wouldn't trust her at this point anyway, so it's probably for the best.  But the way the show and everyone seems to be supporting this fiction that Morgan was totally 100% blameless and justified in what she did except for some weak challenges by Kevin in this episode just astounds me.

5 minutes ago, Mr. Miner said:

I have to cut Alexis a little slack. Living with the embarrassment that is Justin for eight weeks was probably hell.

Oh yeah well that's true, but I don't think it justifies any of her shit stirring involving the others.  That's all on her regardless of Justin.  But yeah, I think he got a much better edit than he should have too.

[Spectator]

3 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I think Mitch brought her right back to her fiancé who canceled their wedding in that it was a blow to her self confidence with men

That’s a great point. She’s understandably still quite affected by what happened with her first engagement, and probably will be for a long time, so it definitely makes her overly-hopeful, albeit if overly-accommodating,  behavior toward Mitch make more sense. But at least she emerged from her broken engagement leaning toward that perspective in her subsequent relationship(s), which is a whole lot better than the alternative, being really closed off and bitter, which I think anyone in her situation easily could have been as well. I give her a lot of credit, all things considered.

I like her. I just think she was mismatched, which is unfortunate because I think she could have made it work with a lot of different people, including Mitch if he had been willing. Mitch just had a very specific idea of his proper match in mind and it wasn’t Krysten. He needed someone more like him - super natural beach girl who’s happy to live with fewer “things” and wants to surf every day. I 100% blame the experts for what happened with them. Given the obvious mismatch of these two they both did a pretty good job of doing their best to make things works for the full 8 weeks. I like that they still seem to be friends. That says a lot about both of them. I wish them both the very best. 

[Mr. Miner]

19 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Oh yeah well that's true, but I don't think it justifies any of her shit stirring involving the others. 

Agreed! I think Justin had his part in the shit stirring also.

[Cramps]

-Justin said one of Nate’s compliments was about his skin. Which makes sense, since during some of the closeups this season you can see that Nate’s skin is pockmarked.  Since Nate is really into style and how he presents himself, it makes sense he’d notice that in someone else.

After what we’ve seen of Justin’s behavior, I don’t blame Nate for getting to a point of backing off because he didn’t want to feel like Justin’s therapist. 

Stacia keeps demanding that Nate feel the way she wants him to feel, in the timeline that she wants him to feel it, and express it the way she insists it should be expressed. Stacia is probably on the road to destroying what could be a great marriage.
 

I’ve had issues with Alexis all season, but am rethinking them at least partially. I do think she is toxic, but she was absolutely right to ask Mitch about the possibility of he and Krysten getting back together to give Krysten a dose of much needed reality, and allow her to move on.  
 

Also, after seeing Justin’s behavior at the reunion, and watching Alexis, who looked burned out and immediately shut down as soon as he started fighting with everyone, and obviously didn’t want to get pulled into it, yet still put in the effort to talk him down, it makes me wonder about some of their blowups during the season. There was obviously a long pattern of her talking him down. I usually blamed her, and did think she was gaslighting him, but now I’m wondering if I had seen their fights and discussions unedited, if I’d feel the same way. 
 

Krysten was definitely overcompensating with self love to make up for poor self-esteem caused by repeated male rejections.
 

Much to my surprise, I grew to like Mitch during the season. He became my favorite castmate. His emotional IQ was awful, but he owned his faults and tried to change and be more thoughtful and aware. (Just don’t tell him how many paper towels I use). 
 

Happy to see Bhin and Morgan getting along. But he often seems to be just parroting things that people have told him, rather than clearly understanding situations. 

Edited November 4, 2022 by Cramps

[Yeah No]

2 minutes ago, Cramps said:

-Justin said one of Nate’s compliments was about his skin. Which makes sense, since during some of the closeups this season you can see that Nate’s skin is pockmarked.  Since Nate is really into style and how he presents himself, it makes sense he’d notice that in someone else.

That's a very good point (all your points were!), and it made me think that Nate, being a metrosexual is probably secure enough in his masculinity to be able to compliment a guy on his appearance without fearing looking "gay".  And Justin taking it that way just says more about his assumptions about people than anything else, which are actually based on a negative stereotype, that if a guy compliments another guy on his appearance he suspects him of being gay.  Nate may be like a lot of women that can compliment other women in a similar manner without worrying that it makes them look gay.

[Yeah No]

53 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

 I think Krysten would marry pretty much any man with a pulse at this point.  I also sense she has daddy issues, which is probably the source of this.

Quoting myself here - I actually think Krysten might reject men that are really into her and is attracted to men that aren't that into her, which is a little different than what I said above.

[Kdawg82]

I actually LOVE Alexis' dress. That top part is so nice. The color & shine! It's a "yes" for me. I have nothing else.

[Lindz]

Ugh. Miguel & Lindy. Still going. 😒😒

[qtpye]

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Thank you I have been thinking all of that all season about Justin, that he has a very effeminate way and look about him, which is in and of itself not a bad thing but IMHO not necessarily attractive from a female POV, then couple that with the cringe worthy boasting about his size down there and it feels like an attempt at compensation.  The fact that his mind would go straight to Nate making a pass at him based on some compliments might be more projection than anything else!  He may actually have had men come on to him in the past so he's predisposed to thinking it's happening again.  Or he likes to flatter his ego thinking he's attractive to both sexes, ugh.

3 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

I have to cut Alexis a little slack. Living with the embarrassment that is Justin for eight weeks was probably hell.

3 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

Agreed! I think Justin had his part in the shit stirring also.

I remember Justin telling Pastor Cal that women only want him for his sexual prowess and Pastor Cal looking at him very in a very skeptical way (this was before they matched the couples). Women wanting him only for his body is one of the reasons that he decided to practice celibacy. 

I am not saying that there are not women who fetishize tall men but, not to be cruel, there are much better-looking and charismatic tall men to choose from than Justin.

I found him a tad bit strange but I thought he was a good guy, overall. I was shocked that his dog was so aggressive and I did look at that as a failure on his part.

Then he really made an ass of himself during the reunion.

He used the most basic compliment as proof that Nate was "hitting" on him. He claimed that he broke up with Alexis until she threatened to pull out text messages and then he claimed Alexis still wants booty calls with him.

From the way that she was obviously disappointed with their sex life...I highly doubt she wants to sleep with him, again.

Some people have said that Justin is a virgin and I really don't care if that is true.

I do find him to be much more emotionally unstable than I originally thought and his behavior was rather creepy to me. I feel like Justin is the type of person to make up things and lie when he perceives that he is attacked and he does not care what he does to the reputation of another person.

He is not emotionally stable enough to go on a reality show and should have never been chosen to participate.

[Lindz]

I'm not understanding Justin & Alexis supposedly consummating the marriage on the honeymoon. She disagrees, but says she went along with his lie. So all his TH about not consummating the marriage were LIES!!! & he was complaining to the guys that she didn't want him, but they'd already had sex? So she didn't want him again? Til around the retreat? That she hyped up as the first time? That why he downplayed it? HUH? WEIRDOS!

[Madding crowd]

I assume they had some kind of sex but it wasn’t what Alexis wanted so she doesn’t really call it sex. I liked Justin initially but he came across really immature on this reunion. I still like Miguel and Lindy; they aren’t perfect but who is? 
I think Mitch is a nice person who tried to work it out with Kristen but it just didn’t work. Kristen comes across as a bit narcissistic and I can’t imagine most people thinking that every guy would be attracted to them. I really like Nate and don’t dislike Stacia but maybe she would be happier with an older, wealthy man. Nate is ambitious but he probably won’t make as much money as Stacia for awhile and like most people he wants a say in his life. 

[mythoughtis]

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

He is not emotionally stable enough to go on a reality show and should have never been chosen to participate.

I think his brother felt  this way about Justin too. Remember the episodes before the wedding when he tried to talk Justin out of participating? 

[kikicat]

On 11/3/2022 at 12:47 PM, After7Only said:

Agreed.  I'd much rather Kesha hosted the reunion.   She already has a relationship with the couples from the Afterparty show.  I think that would help make for better interviews as everyone might have been a little more comfortable.  

Good idea. I thought Kevin was OK when he first appeared, but then he got more aggressive in his questioning, no doubt at producer request to instigate drama. The thing between Justin and Nate was just dumb and pointless.

On 11/3/2022 at 12:47 PM, After7Only said:

The whole having Justin explain why he unfollowed each and every person was overkill.  To his credit he did have (somewhat petty) reasons for everyone.   But the whole conversation felt very juvenile.   

Juvenile. Exactly. That's why I've never been on social media much. I used to say it all seemed so high school, but now it's degenerated to junior high. Maybe grade school. Likes and downvotes and un/following and friend requests and blocking...bleh. I do like to see some of the witty comebacks on Twitter, but that's just been bombed to smithereens.

On 11/3/2022 at 1:06 PM, Yeah No said:

 I just can't for the life of me understand how she would actually have sex with him after he said that to her, thus in effect letting him "use'' her.

Maybe she was using him as well. I don't disagree with a lot of your post about this. I'm just not keen on the common idea that sex is something that men "get" as a masculine achievement and women "give", only to be diminished as a slut by both women and men. But then I'm also very choosy myself, stuck in a Tinder world, so...meh.

23 hours ago, Lindz said:

I can't believe Krysten denying Mitch was not attracted! 

He was attracted enough to sleep with her. I know that doesn't take much for some people 😆 but still he managed.

20 hours ago, thatsall said:

Justin is one of the least masculine participants ever to take part in this show; there is an effeminate quality not only about his face and voice, but also his soft and gangly body despite its height. 

Whoa, that's harsh. 

[Elizzikra]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I like Krysten too but I think she might have a history of trying to make a go of relationships with men who weren't that into her and Mitch was just the next one who fit that description.  I think Mitch brought her right back to her fiancé who canceled their wedding in that it was a blow to her self confidence with men, but I get the feeling this might be a pattern with her and why she's still single.  She may have been misreading the signs with her ex too and living in denial about how he was not 100% invested in her, which is how she got all the way to the point of planning a wedding with him.  I think most women would have felt that ambivalence in their partner and would not have taken things to the point of planning a wedding with them.  She is so desperate that she totally ignores those signs and proceeds optimistically like she thinks he just has cold feet or whatever.  Perhaps she was pushing for marriage and her ex was complying and going along with it, but then finally had a "decision day" of his own where he finally had the guts to completely back out.  I think Mitch might have also been giving into her pressure for the entire season and was only able to completely back out at the 11th hour.  I think Krysten would marry pretty much any man with a pulse at this point.  I also sense she has daddy issues, which is probably the source of this.

The ex didn’t just “comply” with wedding planning; he cheated on Krysten with the same woman for multiple years. Obviously we don’t know who knew what, when, but it seems clear to me that the ex deliberately deceived her. Were there signs she overlooked (intentionally or not)? Maybe. But he was also lying. 

3 hours ago, qtpye said:

I was shocked that his dog was so aggressive and I did look at that as a failure on his part.

Some dogs are just dog aggressive. I don’t blame Justin for that. I do blame him (and Alexis) for handling the introductions between the dogs so badly and given that Mya had episodes of dog aggression in the past, I blame Justin for not training her better and, if that failed, recognizing that she could not live with and/or interact with other dogs safely. But the aggression alone isn’t his fault.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

I assume they had some kind of sex but it wasn’t what Alexis wanted so she doesn’t really call it sex. I liked Justin initially but he came across really immature on this reunion. I still like Miguel and Lindy; they aren’t perfect but who is? 

Maybe it's me but I got a vibe from Alexis that it was all over in a minute and that's why she didn't really want to call it sex.  But he insisted that because it involved penetration it still counted.  Whatever, Justin. 🙄

I really don't like her but I do have to sympathize with her because I've always seen him as really immature. 

[Yeah No]

31 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

The ex didn’t just “comply” with wedding planning; he cheated on Krysten with the same woman for multiple years. Obviously we don’t know who knew what, when, but it seems clear to me that the ex deliberately deceived her. Were there signs she overlooked (intentionally or not)? Maybe. But he was also lying. 

Right, yeah, I forgot about the ex lying and cheating but that makes it even more unbelievable that she would not have any clue and just proceed with the wedding plans.  I'm sure people can get blindsided by partners but if he was not only not as into Krysten as she was into him but actively seeing someone else as well she should have felt that SOMETHING was wrong.  I'm not expecting her to be psychic but I know I would have felt something, there are always signs.  I think she was engaging in some denial there.  Obviously if Mitch could actually come right out and tell her he wasn't attracted to her and she just would not believe it, she's capable of some heavy duty denial.

[qtpye]

41 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Some dogs are just dog aggressive. I don’t blame Justin for that. I do blame him (and Alexis) for handling the introductions between the dogs so badly and given that Mya had episodes of dog aggression in the past, I blame Justin for not training her better and, if that failed, recognizing that she could not live with and/or interact with other dogs safely. But the aggression alone isn’t his fault.

That's what I thought as well. Now, I feel like Justin might be a lot more antagonizing than what we presented and maybe Mya is picking up on her master's low-key animosity. 

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, kikicat said:

Maybe she was using him as well. I don't disagree with a lot of your post about this. I'm just not keen on the common idea that sex is something that men "get" as a masculine achievement and women "give", only to be diminished as a slut by both women and men. But then I'm also very choosy myself, stuck in a Tinder world, so...meh.

Actually I don't think I was coming from that place because that notion bothers me too.  And certainly women are capable and do use men.  But in a case where two people are intending to pursue a serious romantic relationship with the other one or at least saying they are when they're not and just have "good time" sex with them when they might be looking for more than that is using them, regardless of which one is the male and which is the female in the pairing.  Mitch himself justified his having sex with Krysten while not being "attracted" to her as a function of his being a "guy" with "guy needs" so he was actually admitting to having used her whether he knew it or not.  I don't think we have any reason to think that Krysten was using Mitch in return, though.  She tipped her real hand big time when she talked about leaving the door open for a serious romantic relationship.  That said it all right there.  She was not just having a good time with him but wanted a full relationship with him.  He didn't want to agree to that because he didn't also want that and never did.  Only I don't think he ever really hit her over the head with the 2x4 to make that clear to her.  It certainly wasn't clear to me, although I had my suspicions.  So yeah, I think he was using her.

[qtpye]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Actually I don't think I was coming from that place because that notion bothers me too.  And certainly women are capable and do use men.  But in a case where two people are intending to pursue a serious romantic relationship with the other one or at least saying they are when they're not and just have "good time" sex with them when they might be looking for more than that is using them, regardless of which one is the male and which is the female in the pairing.  Mitch himself justified his having sex with Krysten while not being "attracted" to her as a function of his being a "guy" with "guy needs" so he was actually admitting to having used her whether he knew it or not.  I don't think we have any reason to think that Krysten was using Mitch in return, though.  She tipped her real hand big time when she talked about leaving the door open for a serious romantic relationship.  That said it all right there.  She was not just having a good time with him but wanted a full relationship with him.  He didn't want to agree to that because he didn't also want that and never did.  Only I don't think he ever really hit her over the head with the 2x4 to make that clear to her.  It certainly wasn't clear to me, although I had my suspicions.  So yeah, I think he was using her.

It felt like Krysten was determined to make it work no matter who was her partner. She mistakenly thought she could want to have a relationship enough for both of them. This is probably related to her past trauma with her ex.

I think Mitch is right. Krysten wants to be married so badly that she is ignoring that she and Mitch are very different people and they would never be happy together.

Edited November 4, 2022 by qtpye

[LuvMyShows]

19 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

But I did think that she conflated "being conventionally attractive" to "Mitch is attracted to me." I don't think Mitch was ever attracted to Krysten. I do think that Krysten is conventionally attractive. She just didn't do it for Mitch. 

After watching the episode and hearing what she said about herself, I showed some pics of her to my husband, and he said, "She could be cute but she's got on too much makeup."  And my husband is not even close to a hippie/laid-back/surfer dude.

On 11/2/2022 at 9:05 PM, mythoughtis said:

Nate’s lease?  8 more months at the time of the reunion.   

What I didn't understand, and wish that Kevin had pressed, is why Nate said that he has 8 months left on the lease and he has to be at the apartment.  I doubt that.  I've never heard of a lease that requires you to occupy the premises for a certain amount of time.  People get called away on temporary work assignments, or end up in the hospital, all the time, and they don't get hassled by their landlords, as long as nothing goes awry with the premises that affects the other tenants.  He ended up admitting all the other stuff anyway, about being uncomfortable etc., so he didn't also need to have some BS story about needing to be at his apartment.

5 hours ago, qtpye said:

I remember Justin telling Pastor Cal that women only want him for his sexual prowess and Pastor Cal looking at him very in a very skeptical way (this was before they matched the couples). Women wanting him only for his body is one of the reasons that he decided to practice celibacy. 

I think what he said/implied is slightly different...he said that women had wanted him for his size, but prowess is about skill, and according to Alexis, he is lacking in that department!

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I feel sorry for Binh, feeling forced into taking the entire blame for the failure of the marriage.  I wish he had a spine to bring up the fact that Morgan is really the one not ready for marriage.  That she can acknowledge and "accept" his apologies but still not give him a chance says it all to me.  If she's supposedly forgiven him then why not give him a chance? 

Because in such situations, while forgiveness may be a precursor to resumption of the way it was before, it does not require resumption of the way it was before.  Otherwise, it would just be a matter of being super good at deception/sorrow/genuine remorse and there would be no consequences.  Plenty of people have managed to forgive their spouse for various sins (adultery, theft, lies) but it doesn't mean they should feel any pressure whatsoever to subject themselves to potentially more of the same if the damage was too great for them.   

[princelina]

On 11/3/2022 at 11:16 AM, Jax7917 said:

I especially liked when Binh was like , “ I have to heal my inner child “ and Kevin was like what is up with you West Coast people and these terms ? Lol . I was thinking the same .  I don’t buy what Binh is selling . He brings up his childhood and not feeling like he was accepted in Asian culture as an excuse to why he’s not ready to be married now . Maybe the real reason is a sexuality thing , maybe it’s something else .. but I doubt his reason is the actual reason .

I don't either - throughout the season he always accepted blame for everything and then followed up with a detailed psychological self-analysis.  It always struck me as weird.

On 11/3/2022 at 4:01 PM, Kimboweena said:

It's too bad they ended so early. If you remember, Binh was super frugal (no lights at night to save on electricity, only washing clothes certain times of the day). I would love to have seen how Morgan would have dealt with that.  He's going to be hard pressed to find a woman that will put up with that.

Haha production sure worked overtime to set them up with an "issue" - they had no idea that they'd turn into a train wreck on their own 😄

On 11/3/2022 at 6:16 PM, thatsall said:

Yes, I wonder what would move Nate to compliment, of all people, Justin, on anything, even before he got to know (that he didn't like) him. Justin is one of the least masculine participants ever to take part in this show; there is an effeminate quality not only about his face and voice, but also his soft and gangly body despite its height. His always-compensating demeanor, blathering on about his celibacy, and constantly referring to his alleged large phallus just rates him even higher on the Pass! meter.  IMO, even if Nate is bi or pan, I can't see him being attracted to that. I can't see anyone being attracted to that, frankly.

I thought maybe he was complimenting him because he could see that Justin was immature and awkward and was just trying to be kind and build him up a little.  Nate was one who grew on me during the season.  Listening to them at the reunion made me wonder what Stacia enjoys doing besides working and planning her super-white house.  I remember way back in the beginning - Nate was all about his friends and how they did hikes and game nights and things like that.  Taking Stacia out for hikes and ax throwing are ways he is used to spending his free time and she's all meh-he did that for him, not me.  She's too strict and bossy and it's a shame because I do think they could have been a good match if she could relax and enjoy herself, rather than constantly trying to manipulate her perfect world.

13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Quoting myself here - I actually think Krysten might reject men that are really into her and is attracted to men that aren't that into her, which is a little different than what I said above.

Yes - she needs to read the book!😃

6 hours ago, qtpye said:

I think Mitch is right. Krysten wants to be married so badly that she is ignoring that she and Mitch are very different people and they would never be happy together.

Mitch is definitely right.  However I do think that they could have been happy together if he wanted to be married - they seemed to enjoy each other and she was willing to compromise.  They seemed to enjoy the sex, and once she got off tv and comfortable with him I'm sure the makeup would have been a lot less (or at least less often!) But he straight out said that he wants to be in bars at work events with his wedding ring off - so there you go.  Be a bachelor and an uncle, Mitch.  (He's another one that grew on me over the season.  But not everyone is meant to be married.)

[Lindz]

From last season being the flat chestiest to this season being the big breastiest, courtesy of Alexis & Krysten. 🤪 Or was this season the crybabiest? 🤣

[Alexander Pope]

12 hours ago, Lindz said:

From last season being the flat chestiest to this season being the big breastiest, courtesy of Alexis & Krysten. 🤪 Or was this season the crybabiest? 🤣

Lindy could also compete on the boobage front and the crying front!

[Elizzikra]

Quote

It felt like Krysten was determined to make it work no matter who was her partner. She mistakenly thought she could want to have a relationship enough for both of them. This is probably related to her past trauma with her ex.

Well, that and the fact that the experts tell each couple that this is the case. You know, Pastor Cal's whole "growing in love" schtick...

Quote

Right, yeah, I forgot about the ex lying and cheating but that makes it even more unbelievable that she would not have any clue and just proceed with the wedding plans.  I'm sure people can get blindsided by partners but if he was not only not as into Krysten as she was into him but actively seeing someone else as well she should have felt that SOMETHING was wrong.  I'm not expecting her to be psychic but I know I would have felt something, there are always signs.  I think she was engaging in some denial there.  Obviously if Mitch could actually come right out and tell her he wasn't attracted to her and she just would not believe it, she's capable of some heavy duty denial.

I would have said that too, at one time, but I have known several smart and in-tune people whose partners carried on long-term affairs and they genuinely had no idea. While they may have picked up on some red flags, the cheating partner was an excellent liar and very manipulative, always having an entirely believable reason for each red flag. They often did things to intentionally mislead their partners (proposing, looking at potential houses to buy, in one case, conceiving a child - not accidentally). So it's possible that Krysten was engaged to one of those, who assuaged her concerns and deliberately misled her.

Quote

What I didn't understand, and wish that Kevin had pressed, is why Nate said that he has 8 months left on the lease and he has to be at the apartment.  I doubt that.  I've never heard of a lease that requires you to occupy the premises for a certain amount of time.  People get called away on temporary work assignments, or end up in the hospital, all the time, and they don't get hassled by their landlords, as long as nothing goes awry with the premises that affects the other tenants.  He ended up admitting all the other stuff anyway, about being uncomfortable etc., so he didn't also need to have some BS story about needing to be at his apartment.

My brother rents and he has, on several occasions, signed 16 month and 24 month leases because they offer a lower monthly rental rate. So I can see where Nate has 8 months remaining and didn't necessarily have to have signed a new lease after getting MAFS. That said - there is NO reason he has to BE there. The landlord doesn't care. As long as the unit is kept up and there are no problems, it's probably easier if someone isn't there - they don't make noise, take a parking space or put any wear and tear on the unit. If it were me, I'd stop in once a week and make sure things are ok and then I'd go home to my all-white, perfect house. Well - maybe not that last part...

[Lindz]

Kevin asks the same old, tired questions. So annoying. He should've asked Binh what he thought would happen when he told Justin Morgan wasn't a nurse? How would he feel if she told Alexis or someone else what he told Justin? Gah! 2nd season in a row one couple doesn't even make it to DD. NOT GOOD! That brings the official total to 7? More should be included, but they were allowed to wait til DD. 🤪 At least they stopped making them show up for the DD ring & face shots. 🤣

Edited November 5, 2022 by Lindz

[mythoughtis]

On 11/4/2022 at 4:53 PM, LuvMyShows said:

On 11/2/2022 at 8:05 PM, mythoughtis said:

 

What I didn't understand, and wish that Kevin had pressed, is why Nate said that he has 8 months left on the lease and he has to be at the apartment

He said he has 8 months left, and the apartment was midtown while Stacia’s house was in the suburbs.  That was his reason for them going back and forth between the apartment and the house. In addition, he hasn’t moved much stuff out to the house. 

So 1) a matter of him preferring  the location and2) not in any  hurry to live in Stacia’s home any more than he has to. 

Edited November 6, 2022 by mythoughtis

[ECM1231]

On 11/4/2022 at 7:37 AM, Yeah No said:

My husband has won me over to the idea that Alexis is an evil, back-stabbing, shit stirring B with a capital B.  Her facial expressions and body language do suggest that to me, so it wasn't that far of a stretch for me to get to that point.  She's the person that quietly lights the match and then sits back and enjoys the fire she started, all the while getting off Scot-free in the eyes of others who she has schmoozed into thinking she's really their friend, when she's not.  She passed herself off as this innocent, interested confidant to the others and they seem to have bought into it, meanwhile they are completely oblivious as to the malicious and intentional way she contributed to destroying their relationships.  Going to Morgan under the guise of "helping" her to tell her about Binh's breach of confidence with her was actually a malicious act, not one intended to help.  And now really it's as plain as the nose on my face and I am just dumbfounded that none of them seem to see it and the show has given her the relatively positive edit it has.  I think she's the one that had the best edit of all.

Brava! You explained exactly what I have been feeling about Alexis, but couldn't adequately express. Plus, whether or not one likes Justin, you do not publicly humiliate your husband with regard to his lack of sexual prowess. I hate her for that alone. She's a horrible person imo!

[ECM1231]

On 11/4/2022 at 7:47 AM, Yeah No said:

Perhaps she was pushing for marriage and her ex was complying and going along with it, but then finally had a "decision day" of his own where he finally had the guts to completely back out. 

I thought the reason he backed out was because he was cheating on her with another woman for quite some time. Obviously he wasn't into her enough to marry, but he's scum by cheating on her like that.

[Racj82]

On 11/3/2022 at 3:59 PM, glitterpussy said:

Not so sure about that...he seems pretty freaky lol.  Could be bi or pan...I noticed he didn't outright deny anything (either being gay or hitting on him!) Either way, I liked how he took the high road there.

He shouldn't have to deny anything. He never hit on Justin. The lying was the issue. No need to acknowledge his ridiculous accusation.

[Racj82]

On 11/4/2022 at 11:40 AM, qtpye said:

I remember Justin telling Pastor Cal that women only want him for his sexual prowess and Pastor Cal looking at him very in a very skeptical way (this was before they matched the couples). Women wanting him only for his body is one of the reasons that he decided to practice celibacy. 

I am not saying that there are not women who fetishize tall men but, not to be cruel, there are much better-looking and charismatic tall men to choose from than Justin.

I found him a tad bit strange but I thought he was a good guy, overall. I was shocked that his dog was so aggressive and I did look at that as a failure on his part.

Then he really made an ass of himself during the reunion.

He used the most basic compliment as proof that Nate was "hitting" on him. He claimed that he broke up with Alexis until she threatened to pull out text messages and then he claimed Alexis still wants booty calls with him.

From the way that she was obviously disappointed with their sex life...I highly doubt she wants to sleep with him, again.

Some people have said that Justin is a virgin and I really don't care if that is true.

I do find him to be much more emotionally unstable than I originally thought and his behavior was rather creepy to me. I feel like Justin is the type of person to make up things and lie when he perceives that he is attacked and he does not care what he does to the reputation of another person.

He is not emotionally stable enough to go on a reality show and should have never been chosen to participate.

All Justin has is his height and the stereotype that he can take advantage of. So, he basically made that his identity. In reality, that's all a woman could want from is height and a possibility of a big D because he has nothing else to offer. Shitty personality, soft as fuck, matchbox apartment, not conventionally good looking.

18 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Brava! You explained exactly what I have been feeling about Alexis, but couldn't adequately express. Plus, whether or not one likes Justin, you do not publicly humiliate your husband with regard to his lack of sexual prowess. I hate her for that alone. She's a horrible person imo!

I'm also starting to notice a trend of women embarrassing men on these shows for not being able to go long the first time. I need these women to understand that the excitement of that first time with a certain woman they are truly into may cause the uncontrolled finish. It's not indicative of their sexual prowess. Also, imagine if the guy in this scenario went on tv and said something like well it was rough the first time. She farted, she queefed or something completely natural but embarrassing to admit. Those men would be labeled the biggest piece of shit in the world.

Edited November 6, 2022 by Racj82

[princelina]

20 hours ago, Racj82 said:

I'm also starting to notice a trend of women on these shows embarrassing men on these shows for not being able to go long the first time. 

All they need to do to humiliate the man is say it - it doesn't even have to be true.  I'm not a fan of that behavior.  

Edited November 6, 2022 by princelina