S14.E15: Past Lives, Open Minds

[Emma Snyder]

Quote

With just a week and a half left until Decision Day, the husbands and wives share their pasts with their spouses in order to help cultivate a deeper bond; after meeting with an expert, one husband questions whether his wife should say "yes."

Air date: April 20, 2022 8:00PM EDT

[Mindthinkr]

Is there a live thread to post on? 

[Crashcourse]

Katine looks so much better without those fake eyelashes.

[Straycat80]

So is wearing these giraffe type eyelashes a thing now? Jasmina and Lyndsey are wearing them. 

[Crashcourse]

Lindsey's wearing them too.  

[Kiss my mutt]

This has been a two month interview for Katina to see if she’ll live up to Olajuwon’s expectations. I’m wondering if he’s a little bitter because she had an easier childhood in the burbs, at least that’s the impression I got from the last scene. 

[kristen111]

Jasmina being arrogant with Michael.  Correcting him about her teachers name.  He deserves better.  He’s actually afraid of speaking to her.

[mythoughtis]

no means no.  Stop means stop.  Why doesn’t Lindsay  listen? 

3 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Jasmina being arrogant with Michael.  Correcting him about her teachers name.  He deserves better.  He’s actually afraid of speaking to her.

Not only correcting him, but being rude about it,  she could  have corrected the  pronunciation without calling him disrespectful 

Edited April 21, 2022 by mythoughtis

[Crashcourse]

So, basically, Olajuwon justifies being a misogynistic asshole because he had a rough childhood.

[Crashcourse]

Lindsey:  If he doesn't like the food, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE DAMN FOOD!

[Straycat80]

8 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Lindsey:  If he doesn't like the food, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE DAMN FOOD!

I’m with Mark. Being a picky eater I hate when people are all JUST TRY IT! 

[Crashcourse]

Ugh.  I hate that oversized jacket Noi is wearing.  That seems to be the style now with the younger people.

That is one junky, messed up bedroom in Steve's childhood house.  I would be ashamed to show that on tv.  And that is one hideous, fart-trapper sofa.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Crashcourse

[Straycat80]

As an animal and cat lover this scene with JC, Mark and Lyndsey is heartbreaking. 

[Meowwww]

Ok I am crying over Mark’s kitty.  My own 12 year old kitty Moo is having dental surgery tomorrow and I’m terrified. 

Just now, Straycat80 said:

As an animal and cat lover this scene with JC, Mark and Lyndsey is heartbreaking. 

And the song “goodbye friend”. 😥

[Kiss my mutt]

Just now, Straycat80 said:

As an animal and cat lover this scene with JC, Mark and Lyndsey is heartbreaking. 

It is! I had to catch up on posts during it so I didn’t start crying. Poor baby. 

[kristen111]

Why doesn’t Mark just say she’s too much for him and he doesn’t want her for a wife?  Come clean and stop the torture.

This show has like twenty commercials between every scene.  It’s very annoying, and now I see why it’s so long until decision day. Too damn long and unnecessary fillers.  I want it to end as it’s boring already.  Nothing interesting going on.

 

[Crashcourse]

Next argument they have (and they will) I'm expecting Lindsey to bring up how supportive she was of Mark with his sick kitty.   She will throw it in his face.

[kristen111]

The cat was doing fine with Mark, then she comes in and wraps cat in a blanket.  Leave the guy alone already as he was having a moment with his dying cat.  She always has to interfere and do what she wants.  She would drive the devil nuts.  How many men have dumped her?

[Crashcourse]

Jasmina:  Michael is afraid to be vulnerable and open with you because he's afraid that you'll parse every other word he says and call him disrespectful.   He can't even innocently mispronounce someone's name without you calling him disrespectful.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Crashcourse

[Straycat80]

It’s weird that Mike and Jasmina are talking about having so many kids but she is not physically attracted to him. And they haven’t even kissed yet? 

[Adeejay]

Since Mark got married, he has suffered a series of loss. First, he lost his apartment, then his job and now his cat is sick. Poor guy! He must be under a tremendous amount of stress.

That Michael and Jasmina had to think about whether they have ever held hands, doesn’t bode well. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I can’t drum up a lot of sympathy for Noi. Wah, Wah, Wah. I’m awful, but she a annoys me so much. I don’t think she grew up fast, at least emotionally. 

[kristen111]

19 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

It’s weird that Mike and Jasmina are talking about having so many kids but she is not physically attracted to him. And they haven’t even kissed yet? 

If they stay together, Mike will always walk on eggshells.  He is not comfortable with her as she is a wet blanket who thinks who she is.  Poor guy can’t have a mind of his own. 

What an uplifting episode .. NOT.  During Covid no less.

 

Edited April 21, 2022 by kristen111

[mythoughtis]

Noi-   Not giving up your apartment right away doesn’t mean you live separately.  Pay for a few months while it sits vacant.  Or, put money  in a savings account to rent another place if your marriage goes south. 

[Retired at last]

Thanks, everyone. Again, just reading the posts so far helps me decide NOT to watch when it is on here in an hour. I really appreciate your comments.

ETA: As I said in another post, in order for me to care about any of these people's pasts, I have to like and care about these people, which I do not.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Retired at last

[Straycat80]

Well, that was boring and next week doesn’t look too exciting either. Might just tune in for decision day. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Another episode before decision day? Holy cow, this show!

[buttersister]

More proof that Lindsey is in desperate need of a psychiatrist. The cat scene was distressing, but most of all for her tearing JC out of Mark’s arms, wrapping it in a blanket and then gloating that the cat was purring. I speak cat. JC said, Dad, make her go away! Then her smiling into the camera? Sociopath? Everything was wrong with her assessment of Mark, which he made clear in a few short sentences. Good luck, Shark. Mrs. next Shark might be viewing.

No, Olajuwon. No one is buying your play. Your first black woman needs to run  for the hills. But I’m not worried, you made it clear you have no intention of contributing financially to her education, putting your needs/demands behind her busy schedule and risking not being waited on hand and foot. Go meet a nice doctor, Katina. Divorced? A technicality, just tell Dr. Right you were on a game show.

Noi, work some serious therapy into your schedule. So much to work through. Take Jaz with you—she needs less work, but deserves to lower her barriers.

Michael, two things. 1) congratulations on your growth and 2) shave before dating again—then smile, you’re adorable.
 

[princelina]

3 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

no means no.  Stop means stop.  Why doesn’t Lindsay  listen? 

Lindsey does what she wants and hears what she wants.  Mark says, "Stop it, stop it" and because he tries to be lighthearted and inoffensive as he says it (repeatedly) she decides he's being playful and having a ball.  Mark tells her outright that the constant manhandling is too much, and she hears, "You're too loving, too giving, etc."  Lindsey wants to be part of the cat drama - she just barges right in.  He still seems to like her more than most, and when Pepper was there he told her exactly what he needs:  let me move and arrive at my own pace.  She was happy after the Pepper conversation because she thought she heard what she wanted.  Cat drama intervened so we don't really know, but I'm betting what she heard wasn't what was said.  She will continue to be "done" (DONE!) every time Mark displeases her, but she will never actually quit poking, prodding and licking him and shoving food down his throat - and if she'd just be "done" with that she might have a chance with him 😄

In other news - ugh to the "letter to my younger self" (although yay! more to FF through 😄 ) - I can't stand that stupid exercise.  This takes me back to AJ's temper tantrum on their honeymoon when production wanted them to do their homework - right then! and he was having none of it and saying he'd do it later.  I finally get his point - they were insisting, "Stop having fun getting to know your wife and DO THE WORK!!!  If I were in their shoes I'd much rather be out talking naturally and doing something fun together over writing these painfully self-conscious letters and then reading them aloud (and having to listen 😫 )

[LennieBriscoe]

I was hoping that the figure with the blanket was a vet technician, but no, it was buttinski Lindsey---unasked. 

She is too much of everything, at least for Mark. I have very eclectic taste in food, but my exceptions are non-negotiable [See: Sushi. Now how many here are saying to themselves, "But...."? Heh.]. Why does Mark have to take even a bite of offered food? 

Then there's the manhandling. Just STOP. 

Aargh. 

I just can't see Jasmina as a teacher of little children. 

[Yeah No]

Lindsey needs to be hit over the head with a 2 x 4 to just STOP, not the weak advice from Pepper.  She needs medication.  I will agree with Pepper than Mark needs to let her in once in a while, though.  They are caught in a death spiral where she keeps hitting the lever desperate to get a pellet out of his figurative jar.  She will become less insufferable if he lets her have one every now and then, but I doubt it will be enough to live with on any regular basis.  Mark seems determined, though.  He has enough of his own issues.  He seemed afraid to go in the woods, although Lindsey has no fear of poison ivy???  But then the way he tiptoed on the rocks rather than get his pristine white sneakers wet just made me think "wussie" again.  And the flashback where he didn't know what salsa was?  OMG, that is just unbelievable.  I don't care if he doesn't like it or never tried it but he doesn't even know what it IS.  Seriously, these two!  

Although I teared up during the cat scene.  I was close to a friend's cat for many years and he was nice enough to call me from the vet before they put her down.  I remember going there after work to say my teary goodbyes.  She looked a lot like this cat.  Her name was Ginger.  I was always grateful to be able to say goodbye to her.  😥

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, kristen111 said:

If they stay together, Mike will always walk on eggshells.  He is not comfortable with her as she is a wet blanket who thinks who she is.  Poor guy can’t have a mind of his own. 

Mike is too afraid of Jasmina.  He says it's all up to her, like he's afraid she'll start a "Me Too" campaign against him if he dares to give her a kiss on the cheek!  I don't blame him, but dude, you are MARRIED to her, it's OK to make the first move!  And if he waits for her he'll be waiting forever!  It's like she keeps his balls in a jar by the door.  Seriously!  🙄

At moments like this I always think of that scene in "Beverly Hills Cop" where Eddy Murphy tells the detective it's OK if his dick gets hard. 😁

Edited April 21, 2022 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

When I saw how some of these people grew up I realized I came from a humbler background than a lot of them having grown up in the Bronx back in the day.  What I would have given to live in a cute little private house with trees around it!  It actually made me understand Olajuwon a little better.  I knew his outlook screamed inner city.  I agree with the person up thread that said he might be a little envious or resentful of Katina having grown up in the suburbs.  I think he has just enough of the "bad boy" in him to attract Katina but the fact that he has pulled himself up from his more humble roots and has made something of himself is what cements that attraction to him.  I get it, but unfortunately at what cost to her self respect and esteem? 

It looks to me like Olajuwon is trying to manipulate Katina into giving up her education so she can revolve her life around him.  Like he's telling her to go get her education because she deserves it, but if she does that she won't "satisfy" him so in that case he's out.  He is despicable!  😠

These episodes are boring, but I wonder how much of that is because they've been down one couple this season so they have a lot of time to fill up that was earmarked for more variety.  They are just going over the same crap with the same couples every week now.  They should have either shortened the episodes or shortened the season by at least one episode but of course they didn't want to give up the advertising revenue.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Yeah No

[endure]

5 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Another episode before decision day? Holy cow, this show!

Seriously, doesn’t anyone care that some couples haven’t even had sex, some seasons that’s important this season it’s totally off topic!

[kristen111]

6 hours ago, princelina said:

Lindsey does what she wants and hears what she wants.  Mark says, "Stop it, stop it" and because he tries to be lighthearted and inoffensive as he says it (repeatedly) she decides he's being playful and having a ball.  Mark tells her outright that the constant manhandling is too much, and she hears, "You're too loving, too giving, etc."  Lindsey wants to be part of the cat drama - she just barges right in.  He still seems to like her more than most, and when Pepper was there he told her exactly what he needs:  let me move and arrive at my own pace.  She was happy after the Pepper conversation because she thought she heard what she wanted.  Cat drama intervened so we don't really know, but I'm betting what she heard wasn't what was said.  She will continue to be "done" (DONE!) every time Mark displeases her, but she will never actually quit poking, prodding and licking him and shoving food down his throat - and if she'd just be "done" with that she might have a chance with him 😄

In other news - ugh to the "letter to my younger self" (although yay! more to FF through 😄 ) - I can't stand that stupid exercise.  This takes me back to AJ's temper tantrum on their honeymoon when production wanted them to do their homework - right then! and he was having none of it and saying he'd do it later.  I finally get his point - they were insisting, "Stop having fun getting to know your wife and DO THE WORK!!!  If I were in their shoes I'd much rather be out talking naturally and doing something fun together over writing these painfully self-conscious letters and then reading them aloud (and having to listen 😫 )

Now I know why I am married forever.  I give him SPACE, and leave him alone.  Men need space of their own as they are not wired like women.  All this poking, jabbering and nonsense is too much for anybody.  It’s not love or caring Lindsey, it’s obnoxious of you to think it’s right.  She is a psycho.  Mark is too nice.  He should have locked the door and had a moment with his poor cat by himself.  The cat did not want her there.  And that stupid scene in the woods.  WTF was that about?  He should have left her there .

[Mr. Miner]

Last night was a struggle, I was nodding off and woke up in time to see Lindsey shitting all over Mark's boyhood home. The Houston cast held my interest a lot more than this Boston bunch. Maybe they should have kept Alyssa and Chris around?

[mythoughtis]

I don’t like how Olajuwon talks to Katina, but I can admit he pulled himself up by his bootstraps.  I can admit that he knows what he wants for his future:  travel.  He knows Katina has several years of school ahead: bachelors and then nursingn( why isn’t she doing that together? ). He thinks that will interfere.  It might.  But what will really interfere is kids, which he says he wants in two years.  Has he never considered how kids will affect his beloved travel goals?

Lindsay and Mark are just not right for each other.   I like Mark, but he’s never going to be what Lindsay wants.    Lived with his parents until his early 30s?  He’s got a lot of adulting to catch up on. 

[Madding crowd]

I just can’t believe Mark never heard of or tried salsa. Never in his life? As much as I can’t stand Lindsey, Mark is like a child. I wouldn’t want to move into my husband’s childhood home either. What does Mark like to do? Not a fan of her grabbing him, trying to force him to eat things etc. I am a vegetarian since childhood and anyone who tries to force me to eat meat is no longer in my life. My husband and son are meat eaters but we coexist.

Steve is another one who comes across as childish at times. Still like him better than sourpuss Noi. Pepper and her husband may live separate but that won’t work in a young couple who want kids. Pepper’s kind of marriage is probably getting together once in awhile for dinner; that won’t work for most people .

Edited April 21, 2022 by Madding crowd

[Empress1]

10 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

It’s weird that Mike and Jasmina are talking about having so many kids but she is not physically attracted to him. And they haven’t even kissed yet? 

I was like “… Does she want to have kids with Michael?” If she doesn’t want to even kiss him by now, she probably isn’t going to.

10 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Since Mark got married, he has suffered a series of loss. First, he lost his apartment, then his job and now his cat is sick. Poor guy! He must be under a tremendous amount of stress.

I kept thinking this. 2020 was the worst year of my life - I had three huge stressors happen very close together and the fallout from that was really, really, really hard - I’m still dealing with it in a number of ways. If I were married to a stranger on top of that AND had the stress of being on TV on top of it, I’d lose it. And on top of that he’s married to Lindsay, who is, by everyone’s admission, a lot. He’s holding up really well.

(I had the same thought when I watched S2 of Love is Blind. One of the cast lost his father two months before going on the show. There is no way I could have gone on TV two months after I lost mine.)

Lindsay needs to give Mark a fucking break. She’s all, I want him to try new things! which, for one, he HAS tried the new things, and two, when he asks her to do anything differently, she freaks out and talks about how he needs a “lesser woman” because she’s not going to change anything about herself. 

Steve was hitting that choreo! I still dislike Noi and think Steve would be better suited to someone more mature.

Olajuwon remains terrible. I can recognize his accomplishments and still think he’s a shitty person and partner.

[Empress1]

3 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

Pepper and her husband may live separate but that won’t work in a young couple who want kids. Pepper’s kind of marriage is probably getting together once in awhile for dinner; that won’t work for most people 

She did acknowledge that - she said in her first marriage, she was raising kids. Her second (third? Whatever one she’s on now) in which they live separately, they’re presumably empty nesters. I think she’s in her early 70s so if she’s been with her husband for … 15 years? Is that what she said? then she’s been an empty nester the whole time.

One of my best friends met her husband living in the same building on different floors. After they married they kept both apartments for a couple of years and would just go back and forth between them, in and out of each other’s. Sometimes they slept together, sometimes apart. They live together now in a totally different place, but having two places worked for them. They don’t have or want kids though so it fits a bit better.

[Mercolleen]

I am so sick of hearing the word "vulnerable."

[Meowwww]

F’in Noi still wants to live separately.  I can’t believe I liked her so much at first.  

O and his “I plan to travel the world”.  O, at this point it’s “we” not “I”.   Guaranteed if they stay together he will make her stay home and go to work and school because “she’s not at that point in her life yet”.  

And show, make it stop!   Decision day should have been 2 weeks ago. Ugh.  And it’s not even DD next week! 
 

 

Edited April 21, 2022 by Meowwww

[Koalagirl]

11 hours ago, buttersister said:

More proof that Lindsey is in desperate need of a psychiatrist. The cat scene was distressing, but most of all for her tearing JC out of Mark’s arms, wrapping it in a blanket and then gloating that the cat was purring. I speak cat. JC said, Dad, make her go away! Then her smiling into the camera? Sociopath? Everything was wrong with her assessment of Mark, which he made clear in a few short sentences. Good luck, Shark. Mrs. next Shark might be viewing.

Lindsey smiling into the camera was the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.  She clearly interfered with Mark’s last moments with his cat. If she wanted to be supportive she could have just sat there instead of smothering both of them.  

[bichonblitz]

12 hours ago, buttersister said:

Michael, two things. 1) congratulations on your growth and 2) shave before dating again—then smile, you’re adorable.

I agree. He's cute and seems like a nice guy. But....shave. I'm not a beard lover. He deserves a woman that's going to want to jump his bones. Jasmina isn't it for him. Her backstory was heartbreaking. Actually, all of their backstory's were heartbreaking and depressing except Steve. His was pretty normal. 

Why did Noi sign up for this show to get married if she doesn't want to live with her husband? Why in the hell didn't Dr. Pepper ask ker that? I don't understand this chick. 

41 minutes ago, Koalagirl said:

She clearly interfered with Mark’s last moments with his cat.

He was too broken hearted to be bothered with what she was doing. Everytime I think she's maybe not so bad she proves me wrong, Every time! 

Olag is a pain in the ass but after hearing about his childhood I understand him more. He has accomplished alot and is goal oriented for sure. I don't understand why he thinks Katina can't finish school, get a job and have a life with a family. People do it all the time. I also don't get why she has to finish her Bachelor's and then go to nursing school. Couldn't she go for a BSN degree? 

Edited April 21, 2022 by bichonblitz

[Auntie Anxiety]

13 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Since Mark got married, he has suffered a series of loss. First, he lost his apartment, then his job and now his cat is sick. Poor guy! He must be under a tremendous amount of stress.

All in eight weeks. I’m emotionally exhausted just thinking about it.

14 hours ago, kristen111 said:

This show has like twenty commercials between every scene.  It’s very annoying, and now I see why it’s so long until decision day. Too damn long and unnecessary fillers.

They should have cut 20% of the show when they lost one of the five couples early on. I love live chatting but I DVR the show because the commercials are relentless. 

4 hours ago, kristen111 said:

All this poking, jabbering and nonsense is too much for anybody.  It’s not love or caring Lindsey, it’s obnoxious of you to think it’s right.  

It reminds me of someone who keeps “tickling” you. Initially, it’s funny or flirty or cute, but quickly gets out of hand and becomes abusive and aggressive. And when you tell someone to stop and they refuse to let up, it is maddening and totally obnoxious.

3 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

Pepper and her husband may live separate but that won’t work in a young couple who want kids.

Pepper is closer to 80yo than 70yo. I don’t really think either she or her husband need to worry about the other spouse being unfaithful, because who has the energy? I don’t blame Noi for wanting to hedge her bets in the short term, but it becomes unworkable when kids enter the picture.

Olajuwon is afraid that if Katina continues with college and nursing school, she won’t have the time to fix him his dinners, clean the house, be a sexy beast and cater to his every whim. I understand why he is the way he is (what with his background and all), but it doesn’t make him likable. 

[Nancybeth]

1 hour ago, Koalagirl said:

Lindsey smiling into the camera was the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.  She clearly interfered with Mark’s last moments with his cat. If she wanted to be supportive she could have just sat there instead of smothering both of them.  

Cats can also purr as a response to pain, stress or anxiety! I wouldn't be so smug about it, Lindsey.

Noi doesn't know how good she has it. Can you imagine how Olajuwon would react if Katina wanted to live in her own place? Steve has gone above and beyond and is an excellent communicator and she still doesn't seem to want to commit. 

[Empress1]

3 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Pepper is closer to 80yo than 70yo.

Yep, I just looked it up - she’ll be 77 in May.

2 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

Steve has gone above and beyond and is an excellent communicator

He’s one of the best communicators I can remember seeing on the show.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Empress1

[Crashcourse]

I hope Steve, Michael and Mark get divorced and join Chris for a bro holiday.

I hope Katina gets divorced and goes on a trip with her girlfriends.

I hope Jasmina comes onto Olaj now that they're divorced, and they go on vacation.  Unknown to him when they arrive at their hotel room, Noi and Lindsey are there.  The women tie him to a chair.  Lindsey starts poking and grabbing and tickling him.  When Olaj starts screaming and cursing at Lindsey, Jasmina tells him that she doesn't like his tone and he's being disrespectful.  Noi is filming it all and posts everything to her twitter account.   Then they untie him, and he staggers out the door, screaming. 😱

I forgot about Alyssa!  I hope she's there, too, screaming in Olaj's face about what a fucking nice person she is.  

My fantasy.  😈

[Kiss my mutt]

The best thing about the show this season was the bromances. I loved how the guys have become friends and how supportive they are of one another. They need their own show. 

Edited April 21, 2022 by Kiss my mutt

[Sycophant4Lease]

17 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Ugh.  I hate that oversized jacket Noi is wearing.  That seems to be the style now with the younger people.

Quote

That is one junky, messed up bedroom in Steve's childhood house.  I would be ashamed to show that on tv.  And that is one hideous, fart-trapper sofa.

We can ALWAYS count on you.  LOL