S05.E14: Disappearing Act

[Frozendiva]

Jasmine and Gino: Jasmine, be careful with the ring if you ever need to have it appraised for insurance purposes. CZ maybe. Not even a lab created diamond is that cheap. Maybe yours and Gino's crazy will balance each other. If you are looking for an emotionally warm husband, Gino probably isn't that. You will have to learn his language of love - whether it is doing things for you. I doubt he will be telling you that he loves you all the time. You do need to work on your jealousy and cannot fly off the handle if Gino looks at a piece of lego or anything. Hope you do actually get married and stay together, well, as long as it lasts, until the toothbrush dies. Gino, you don't point the sad ring at yourself. Maybe now Jasmine will introduce him to her kids, unless the plan is to leave them in Panama.

Ximena and Mike: You really don't like him, Ximena. Probably thought he was okay when you first met him, he first came to visit, and you accepted his proposal, knowing full well that at some point you would dump him. Continue to collect the money and maybe find someone else to replace him with. Mike, initially you came across as a sort of schmuck with poor social skills. Now, your real colours are showing and they take the schmuckiness to a new, incel-type level. Ximena may not be much, but you are less than her. She has told you that she does not love you, you creep her out, are dirty, etc. And now it's time to take off and take all the stuff you've given her. Uh, that was part of the contract and those would be considered gifts. Good luck in schlepping all the stuff to the airport and shipping it back. You could sue her but it would be a waste of time and energy. Yeah, my sister's friend had a boyfriend who paid for some tires. When they broke up, he sued her for the cost of them. Don't squat at the apartment you pay for. Cut off the cash and leave - stay in a hotel til your flight or see if you can move it. Cut off contact with Ximena. Absorb the loss and move on. You are on international TV and your anger will be noticed by other people and if you do find someone else, that person can easily watch your season on TV to get an idea of who you are. Spend some time working on yourself to deal with your entitlement and anger issues. If you want to buy someone else, read the fine print about returns and exchanges.

Kimbaaaly and Usman: Awww, he must want his electronics back. How cheesy to walk in to his own music playing. Uh, you could rent a piano and serenade her as she walks in. How desperate to want to see him if he offers a mere crumb. Now that she is leaving, and her money is drying up, time to do the hustle. His team knew that Kimbaaaly's throwing water at Usman was recorded and would be on TV. The horse has more than left the cart. Since he isn't an international superstar, it is likely that he might get a gossip column mention and maybe he will sell a couple more downloads. No idea what he sees in Kimbaaaaly and what he has to offer in a relationship - unless it is being part of her MJ fixation. Has he thought of her and her needs? Nope. Been kind to her? Nope. Made her laugh? Nope. Been any sort of viable partner in a relationship? Only if she is funding his career.  Women closer to his age don't seem to want him - I would think they would want the superstar life of limos and fancy trips and awards shows and red carpets. He can't even give them the adventure of life on a tour bus and putting up with his ego. Go home, Kimbaaaaly. No idea who is more desperate - you or Usman.

Memphis and Hamza: Don't really remember much of them except for her last minute pre-nup for property she doesn't even have.  Memphis, stop screaming at Hamza. He will eventually get fed up and dump you. Hamza, look long and hard at how Memphis treats you - are you a real life partner or a purchased spouse? Except for life in the US, what does she offer you? You don't speak the same language, can barely understand each other without a translator app. That does not bode well for communication. Has Memphis dealt with her past and the issues and baggage she carries? Probably not. Your mom is concerned about a divorce - both of you will need to work hard to make any sort of relationship successful.

Mahogs and Ben: Ah, their story just writes itself. Ben, how much more of this God crap can you yourself believe? That God sent her to you, hardened her heart towards you, is testing you, etc. Yeah, the Universe/God destined that your life paths cross. You are not forced to have a relationship. You were asked to not come to Peru to visit some girl you were chatting with for a couple of months. She didn't quite match her heavily edited photos, she lied about her age, lied about her living conditions. You came across a little strong and obsessed. This is a young girl who doesn't know your games. You took zero responsibility for the failure of your marriage. But you are entitled to and deserve a beautiful young woman like Mahogs to make up for a loveless marriage and four kids. You suffocate this young woman with your texts, you bring up God and God's insistence that this relationship happen. Uh, your God also gave you free will and gave Mahogs free will. Almost any woman would be concerned by your behavior. If you were going to that resort, you find a bus or other transportation mode to get there and let Mahogs have her space. You don't like how she is treating you, and think that maybe by talking to her parents that you can influence them to change their daughter's mind about you. She is seeing the red flags, her parents see the red flags. Ghosting her about breakfast was rude. No, she isn't going to miss a dude she barely knows and has only been politely getting to know you. You have succeeded in pushing her away! And now she gives you the unexpected driving off in to the sunset and leaving you stranded at the resort. Do not go back to San Bartolo. Go back to Lima, tour the country for the rest of your ticket, or see if you can move your flight and go home. Send her a text for being an obsessive a-hole and apologize and never contact her again.

 

[gingerella]

They need to change the name of this show to 90-Day Assclowns.

I'm so glad you all laughed along with me at Ben's douchey outfit. You know he purposely bought a Peruvian sweater and got that ridDICKulous tourist caballero hat to try to impress her parents with his love of all things Peruvian. Really his only interest is in getting his pervy peen into some 22 year old Peruvian poon (sorry, that's a gross image but it's his truth). That's the extent of his interest in Peruvian culture! I laughed and laughed and laughed when he found out that not only had Mahog's left, but she left last night. Hahahaha, BEST moment ever! The next week's preview looks like she's about to kiss him but I hope to hell she's faking it, or it's a kiss goodbye. This guy is a punk ass clown.

Ximena made a big mistake. Mikey Mike Mike was a day or two away from departing, right? She should have played along until he left, then strung him along a bit longer, and in the meantime upped and moved without leaving a new address, and then broken up with his lame, racist ass. He deserves to be taken advantage of because he's as bad as Pervy Big Ped or Pole.

[greekmom]

1 hour ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Jesse Meester offers himself up to be Gino’s life coach.

The blind leading the blind 

[nutella fitzgerald]

16 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Can't help but wonder why Ben didn't hitch a ride with production and the camera crew.  

I’m sure it’s better for all involved if the person in the car with Ben for three hours of Mandatory Alone Time can at least pretend they don’t speak any of the same languages as he does.

[Frozendiva]

I would be hard-pressed to spend 3-4 hours of mandatory alone time with Ben in my car. I would find one or two people to offer a ride back to Lima.

[Welshman in Ca]

I'm not sure why but the actual phrase "mandatory alone time" struck me as a very strange thing to say.

[Frozendiva]

Trapped in a moving car with nowhere to escape and being forced to talk to the other passenger. Unless you have headphones and crank up the iPod or phone to drown them out.

[Texasmom1970]

1 hour ago, greekmom said:

The blind leading the blind 

Throw Ash in there as well; that would be a real shit show.

[Kid]

57 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

Trapped in a moving car with nowhere to escape and being forced to talk to the other passenger. Unless you have headphones and crank up the iPod or phone to drown them out.

Or do what Sharon did (600 lb Life fans will get this), leave him at a gas station and drive off.  🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Auntie Anxiety]

1 hour ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

I’m sure it’s better for all involved if the person in the car with Ben for three hours of Mandatory Alone Time can at least pretend they don’t speak any of the same languages as he does.

Uber fare for the 3 hour drive: $250 if Ben doesn’t talk, $500 if Ben decides to chat and/or proselytize

[Shauna]

Why does Kimberly think her hair looks good so harshly pulled back like that?  Yuck. 

[FrancescaFiore]

Wait til Badmus finds out that, while nobody caught Kim throwing her drink on Usman with their phone, TLC's cameras caught it from 3 different angles and are airing the episode in hi-def in no fewer than 70 countries. What a circus clown.

WTF with Mahogany selectively switching from Spanish to English mid sentence? Has she not been communicating with Ben in English this whole time? And she's worried about his maturity level? She, who left him at the airport because her parents told her to? She who filtered her photos so heavily, she's unrecognizable IRL? Really? This whole storyline is such bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. TLC is just calling us stupid right to our faces now.

Memphis literally sold out her savings & her kids for 3 outfits & a spa day. Can't say I'm surprised. That hotel stay reeeeaaaallly helped steel her resolve. 😂🤣 Even her addict mom was like, "Memphis, you actin' like a bad neighborhood in Detroit." 

Jasmine seems weirdly clear-eyed about her toxic relationship with the freakshow that is Gino. She inexplicably loves him despite all things that make all of us find him repulsive. Go figure. She actually sees him for the loser he is and loves him anyway. It's kinda sweet, in a stomach-churning way. Mazel tov if they can make it work. 

That Mike/Ximena breakup scene was intense. She's really just such a snatch. He's no prize either. The two of them probably should have kept their gross little arrangement off 90DF. The Reddit subs are aflame with debate about sex workers and whether Mike purchased a "GFE" from Ximena. It's all so unseemly since there are little kids involved. TLC just doesn't vet these people, like, at all.

 

Edited March 21, 2022 by FrancescaFiore

[gaPeach]

I just watched this and laugh hysterically at the NAKED guy that answered Mahogany's door!  Oh wait, he had sunglasses on so not totally naked.  That was as funny as Ben scurrying off to the front desk to see if Mahogany left.  Comedy Gold.  

I have no sympathy for Ben.  His whining about how much he put into meeting Mahogany only to be ridiculed by her behavior.  I'll bet his ex-wife feels some sort of Karma back to him for leaving her and telling others it was basically her fault.  

 

[bravofan27]

5 minutes ago, Shauna said:

Why does Kimberly think her hair looks good so harshly pulled back like that?  Yuck. 

My aunt does that too. Says it keeps it out of her eyes-- she sweats a lot. 

Jasmine knew right away that the ring was costume- I liked how she said, "It's a Gino ring."

Gino must be standing to inherit some cash and/or sitting on a very modust trust fund. Maybe Gino's dad is the executor? In any case, I don't think Gino sits on tons of money or he wouldn't be so cheap. He sits though on enough that he doesn't have to work and his family is worried.

Ben's Peruvian sweater and hat that he tied under his chin was, IMO, the real reason Mahogoney couldn't sit there any longer. He looked beyond stupid. He is so bitchy and sulky. IMO, Mohagony is not attracted to Ben whatsover. 

 

Mike seems to show his true colors now-- he only "bought" stuff for X that benefitted him personally. The apartment gave him a place to stay when visiting, and kept X off the market (chat rooms). When she didn't care anymore, he probably thought she found someone else and is now PISSED. Yay!

 

 

[Breedom]

16 minutes ago, bravofan27 said:

Why does Kimberly think her hair looks good so harshly pulled back like that?  Yuck. 

Bangs might be a big improvement. Then again, not much to work with.

17 minutes ago, bravofan27 said:

In any case, I don't think Gino sits on tons of money or he wouldn't be so cheap.

I've known many people with lots of money, but you would never know from looking at them. They are cheap, look cheap and many have zero taste, just like everyone else.

Mike running away like that was such a stupid, foolish thing to do. WHY? Again, and I have said this before about these people on the show, WHO DOES THIS? Can you imagine being upset with someone and your response is quick, run out the door! Nevermind if you are in another country and it's dark out, just prance out there, full speed ahead, to nowhere in particular, through streets and dark buildings, until what? Until you find a "safe place" to break down? Or a back alley where you can be robbed? And don't forget, Mike, you will need to swallow your pride and eventually come back and face the music - and your foolishness. Good grief.

There have been so many instances watching this show where I think, "man, if my guy did that it would be over". Running away like a scared rabbit into the night darkness would be one. Ben wearing that ridiculous outfit would be another.

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Shauna said:

Why does Kimberly think her hair looks good so harshly pulled back like that?  Yuck. 

Makes her look like Gene Simmons.  At his current age.

48 minutes ago, FrancescaFiore said:

Even her addict mom was like, "Memphis, you actin' like a bad neighborhood in Detroit."

What was going on with mama’s tongue?  Was flicking in and out nonstop like a lizard.

[greekmom]

55 minutes ago, FrancescaFiore said:

That Mike/Ximena breakup scene was intense. She's really just such a snatch. He's no prize either. The two of them probably should have kept their gross little arrangement off 90DF. The Reddit subs are aflame with debate about sex workers and whether Mike purchased a "GFE" from Ximena. It's all so unseemly since there are little kids involved. TLC just doesn't vet these people, like, at all.

 

can you point me to the reddit thread?

[nutella fitzgerald]

1 hour ago, Kid said:

Or do what Sharon did (600 lb Life fans will get this), leave him at a gas station and drive off.  🤣🤣🤣🤣

New hat! New hat!

[Mondrianyone]

40 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

What was going on with mama’s tongue?  Was flicking in and out nonstop like a lizard.

That was so revolting. Even the GEICO gecko doesn't do that.

 

[bichonblitz]

2 hours ago, Shauna said:

Why does Kimberly think her hair looks good so harshly pulled back like that?  Yuck. 

She probably pulls it back because of the humidity causing her hair to frizz. That jet black do it yourself hair dye is even worse. I love natural black hair but as soon as you start dyeing it that color you look like a vat of shoe polish fell on your head. 

[1011101010001]

5 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

She probably pulls it back because of the humidity causing her hair to frizz. That jet black do it yourself hair dye is even worse. I love natural black hair but as soon as you start dyeing it that color you look like a vat of shoe polish fell on your head. 

Yeah Reagan used brown dye that looked like shoe polish as well lol.

Edited March 22, 2022 by MrBuhBye

[SemiCharmedLife]

1 hour ago, FrancescaFiore said:

Wait til Badmus finds out that, while nobody caught Kim throwing her drink on Usman with their phone, TLC's cameras caught it from 3 different angles and are airing the episode in hi-def in no fewer than 70 countries. What a circus clown.

WTF with Mahogany selectively switching from Spanish to English mid sentence? Has she not been communicating with Ben in English this whole time? And she's worried about his maturity level? She, who left him at the airport because her parents told her to? She who filtered her photos so heavily, she's unrecognizable IRL? Really? This whole storyline is such bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. TLC is just calling us stupid right to our faces now.

Memphis literally sold out her savings & her kids for 3 outfits & a spa day. Can't say I'm surprised. That hotel stay reeeeaaaallly helped steel her resolve. 😂🤣 Even her addict mom was like, "Memphis, you actin' like a bad neighborhood in Detroit." 

Jasmine seems weirdly clear-eyed about her toxic relationship with the freakshow that is Gino. She inexplicably loves him despite all things that make all of us find him repulsive. Go figure. She actually sees him for the loser he is and loves him anyway. It's kinda sweet, in a stomach-churning way. Mazel tov if they can make it work. 

That Mike/Ximena breakup scene was intense. She's really just such a snatch. He's no prize either. The two of them probably should have kept their gross little arrangement off 90DF. The Reddit subs are aflame with debate about sex workers and whether Mike purchased a "GFE" from Ximena. It's all so unseemly since there are little kids involved. TLC just doesn't vet these people, like, at all.

 

I loved your entire post, particularly the first paragraph!  Thanks for the articulate summary and laughs!

[Baltimore Betty]

1 hour ago, MrBuhBye said:

What was going on with mama’s tongue?  Was flicking in and out nonstop like a lizard.

There are some anti psychotic drugs that have that tongue thrusting side effect, my guess is her drug use in the past has something to do with it, tardive dyskinesia maybe?  All I know is she has more sense than her health professional daughter and that is sad.

[Mrs. Hanson]

5 hours ago, gingerella said:

Peruvian poon

My new band name!

 

5 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

you could rent a piano and serenade her as she walks in.

You think he plays an instrument?  You are ADORABLE!

[Mrs. Hanson]

11 hours ago, gotta watch said:

Oh my God Ben is a lifetime movie for real. "I'm actually glad to have this forced 3 hours together, it will give us a chance to talk." "God put her in my heart and I have to follow it to the bitter, bitter end." SHUDDER. I can just see him justifying killing her with "God told me she was willful and disobeyed."

I watch enough true crime to say you are not off by much.  My FAVORITES are the ones with any kind of church or any kind of minister of any gender.  I KNOW there will infidelity, a murder, secret drinking, and a lot of "Well God told me to come over here and rub your breasts and force you to look at my penis pictures."  Guaranteed!

I want everyone to practice or not practice anything they want.  But....the more intense the religion, whoo boy!  Love it!

Edited March 22, 2022 by Mrs. Hanson

[bravofan27]

2 hours ago, Breedom said:

Bangs might be a big improvement. Then again, not much to work with.

I've known many people with lots of money, but you would never know from looking at them. They are cheap, look cheap and many have zero taste, just like everyone else.

Mike running away like that was such a stupid, foolish thing to do. WHY? Again, and I have said this before about these people on the show, WHO DOES THIS? Can you imagine being upset with someone and your response is quick, run out the door! Nevermind if you are in another country and it's dark out, just prance out there, full speed ahead, to nowhere in particular, through streets and dark buildings, until what? Until you find a "safe place" to break down? Or a back alley where you can be robbed? And don't forget, Mike, you will need to swallow your pride and eventually come back and face the music - and your foolishness. Good grief.

There have been so many instances watching this show where I think, "man, if my guy did that it would be over". Running away like a scared rabbit into the night darkness would be one. Ben wearing that ridiculous outfit would be another.

I think, maybe? that he was trying to run away from the cameras, because he yelled, "My mind is going crazy!" I think he was trying to escape an interview. LOL.

[FrancescaFiore]

2 hours ago, greekmom said:

can you point me to the reddit thread?

There's a bunch of super hateful-toward-Mike posts in the 90 Day Fiance Uncensored sub. Pick any one of those, but comment at your own risk.  The majority of people in those subs don't watch the show to mock it, like we do. They take it very very seriously. It's some next level bonkers over there. 

2 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

3 hours ago, FrancescaFiore said:

Even her addict mom was like, "Memphis, you actin' like a bad neighborhood in Detroit."

What was going on with mama’s tongue?  Was flicking in and out nonstop like a lizard

Did you miss the addict part of "addict mom?" That's the answer. 🤣

[1011101010001]

3 minutes ago, FrancescaFiore said:

There's a bunch of super hateful-toward-Mike posts in the 90 Day Fiance Uncensored sub. Pick any one of those, but comment at your own risk.  The majority of people in those subs don't watch the show to mock it, like we do. They take it very very seriously. It's some next level bonkers over there. 

Yeah it’s sad when people who think that they are sophisticated believe that reality tv is real.

4 minutes ago, FrancescaFiore said:

There's a bunch of super hateful-toward-Mike posts in the 90 Day Fiance Uncensored sub. Pick any one of those, but comment at your own risk.  The majority of people in those subs don't watch the show to mock it, like we do. They take it very very seriously. It's some next level bonkers over there. 

Did you miss the addict part of "addict mom?" That's the answer. 🤣

I must travel in boring circles.

[Chicken Fingers]

I rewatched The Jerk recently, and I can see Mike crying as he shuffles off to the airport, pants around his ankles, grabbing stuff from the apartment. "I don't need you, Ximena! I don't need anything! . . . well I need this chair . . . but that's it . . . well I need this coffeemaker . . . and this painting. . . and this box of dildoes. . . but that's it, Ximena!"

[b2H]

5 hours ago, greekmom said:

The blind leading the blind 

More like the blind leading the stupid.

[Breedom]

Remembering Mike gluing himself onto X at the pool hall. Who wouldn't hate him? He's like a fly that you can't swat away.

[FrancescaFiore]

I'm now convinced that Ben goes drunk-shopping, too. Because how TF else can this precious lil ensemble be explained?

[magemaud]

15 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

You think he plays an instrument?

He does play the guitar. Can't you just see him playing "Kumbaya" especially in his new Peruvian shirt and hat? 

Edited March 22, 2022 by magemaud

[Boston]

15 hours ago, gingerella said:

They need to change the name of this show to 90-Day Assclowns.

I'm so glad you all laughed along with me at Ben's douchey outfit. You know he purposely bought a Peruvian sweater and got that ridDICKulous tourist caballero hat to try to impress her parents with his love of all things Peruvian. Really his only interest is in getting his pervy peen into some 22 year old Peruvian poon (sorry, that's a gross image but it's his truth). That's the extent of his interest in Peruvian culture! I laughed and laughed and laughed when he found out that not only had Mahog's left, but she left last night. Hahahaha, BEST moment ever! The next week's preview looks like she's about to kiss him but I hope to hell she's faking it, or it's a kiss goodbye. This guy is a punk ass clown.

Ximena made a big mistake. Mikey Mike Mike was a day or two away from departing, right? She should have played along until he left, then strung him along a bit longer, and in the meantime upped and moved without leaving a new address, and then broken up with his lame, racist ass. He deserves to be taken advantage of because he's as bad as Pervy Big Ped or Pole.

90 day enlists people with brain damage (I have a nephew with brain damage, so don't come after me).. JMO  Geno, Mike.. I'm talking to you.

[nutella fitzgerald]

10 hours ago, FrancescaFiore said:

There's a bunch of super hateful-toward-Mike posts in the 90 Day Fiance Uncensored sub. 

I heard on a podcast that Mike would frequent the 90 Day Reddit subs and behave with the same level of home training he has demonstrated on the show. That’s probably why the hate is worse for him there.

ETA: this post actually makes a very good point. His behavior took a sharp turn once he realized he couldn’t buy a woman: 

 

Edited March 22, 2022 by nutella fitzgerald
added link

[Boston]

10 hours ago, bravofan27 said:

I think, maybe? that he was trying to run away from the cameras, because he yelled, "My mind is going crazy!" I think he was trying to escape an interview. LOL.

Love your avatar!

[greekmom]

9 minutes ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

I heard on a podcast that Mike would frequent the 90 Day Reddit subs and behave with the same level of home training he has demonstrated on the show. That’s probably why the hate is worse for him there.

ETA: this post actually makes a very good point. His behavior took a sharp turn once he realized he couldn’t buy a woman: 

 

 

Not sure if this belongs in this thread or the Mike/Ximena thread. But wasn't it Mike who got stopped before the show EVEN aired and pulled the "do you know who I am?!?!" card with the cop?  I remember hearing a story with someone that was on this season and got stopped by the police and tired this. 

[antfitz]

How desperate is Jasmine that she's willing to have sex with that guy. I'm sorry but Gino is just so odd.  I don't think Jasmine is awful, I think she just wants to get out of her situation.

[Baltimore Betty]

11 hours ago, Chicken Fingers said:

I rewatched The Jerk recently, and I can see Mike crying as he shuffles off to the airport, pants around his ankles, grabbing stuff from the apartment. "I don't need you, Ximena! I don't need anything! . . . well I need this chair . . . but that's it . . . well I need this coffeemaker . . . and this painting. . . and this box of dildoes. . . but that's it, Ximena!"

Like Steve Martin in The Jerk.

[Baltimore Betty]

15 hours ago, gaPeach said:

I just watched this and laugh hysterically at the NAKED guy that answered Mahogany's door!  Oh wait, he had sunglasses on so not totally naked.  That was as funny as Ben scurrying off to the front desk to see if Mahogany left.  Comedy Gold. 

TLC producer or willing local guy made $50?

I cannot get past that sweater Ben wore, it was from the Golden Girls Collection lent to him from his ex wife, who says he doesn't get along with his ex, she was nice enough to lend him that sweater.  The hat was all Ben's doing.

 

[Texasmom1970]

9 hours ago, FrancescaFiore said:

I'm now convinced that Ben goes drunk-shopping, too. Because how TF else can this precious lil ensemble be explained?

The only thing that would have made this outfit better is him getting on a donkey and riding away. 😀

[1011101010001]

37 minutes ago, Texasmom1970 said:

The only thing that would have made this outfit better is him getting on a donkey and riding away. 😀

He is a donkey.

[Welshman in Ca]

37 minutes ago, Texasmom1970 said:

The only thing that would have made this outfit better is him getting on a donkey and riding away. 😀

Not sure about a donkey but he certainly looked like an ASS.

[ReclinerTurnip]

39 minutes ago, Texasmom1970 said:

The only thing that would have made this outfit better is him getting on a donkey and riding away. 😀

Agree! Come on TLC - this picture is a sign how fake the choice outfit was, right?  NO ONE with Ben's ears would ever put the chin strap over top of their ears would they???  OK, no one over five years old. 

[gingerella]

That Reddit thread is INTENSE, but also spot on. But the best thing I saw was this:

 There was also a photo of Kimbaaaaaley and the heading said, "If cigarette smell was a person". It's too big a file to post here though, sadly...

Edited March 22, 2022 by gingerella

[Xebug67]

On 3/18/2022 at 8:32 PM, Frozendiva said:

Dull preview.

First off it was Usman and Kimbaaaaly. Us-es entourage didn't like Kimbaaaaaly throwing water in his face. There was no one around to take video and put it up online and embarrass Usess. Do these folks not know how this game works? He'd get clicks, he'd get attention! He has a feisty girlfriend! More fame! More song sales! More tour dates! More gigs! Marketing genius! Too bad Kimbaaaaaly isn't the most vivacious and attractive woman. It would be gold! Yeah, it was disrespectful of her. Maybe Usess deserved some of it for not being upfront with her. Not that I really care. Call TMZ! Some no name limited talent Nigerian singer had some drama!!!

Then we get Memphis wondering about pushing the marriage down a bit. Geez, girl, you are not going to get a 5 minute pre-nup for property you don't even have. You're not like Kimbaaaaaly who probably has to insure some of her Michael Jackson collection that is worth anything. The pre-nush should have been planned a month or two before you went to Tunisia. 

And finally we get Ximena/Eczema and Mrs. Ximena aka mom. Mom sees that her darling is not thinking properly. She has a toady 'nice' guy who is willing to be a dad to her kids, take care of her, give her a decent home and a life, and sorry, the dude is a creepy owl with bug eyes that she can't stand. Ximena is not planning well for any sort of decent future. Mama, your daughter does not love the man and he probably doesn't have enough money to make her overlook his shortcomings and that he creeps her out.

 

For me, the funniest lines of the entire episode were when Usman's loserage said what he said about there could have been people filming/photographing the famous Nigerian rapper.  I literally spit my drink out of my mouth when I heard that.  They WISH he was a famous rapper.  And Frozendiva, you were being too generous by saying this about Usman:  "some no name limited talent ", because to me he's an absolutely ZERO talent. 

Memphis is an effing moron.  Only someone with deceptive intentions would spring a pre-nuptial agreement on their fiancee only days before their wedding.  She totally wanted to screw him over with it.  It would have been so easy, as well as the right thing to do for someone you supposedly love, to have that discussion with Hamza before she went over there.  The reason she didn't was because she KNEW it would offend him and his family, and he might tell her not to bother coming over at all and dump her.  She's truly a calculating, selfish, self-serving beyotch.  After how lovely the sister and mother treated her, to now threaten to not go through with the wedding less than two days before it's about to happen, unless Hamza agrees to the post-nuptial was a shitty way to behave.  I hope this bug-eyed, pop-eyed, twitchy, underbite-mouthed, fire hydrant bodied little hobbit effs off and rots by herself.  I can't believe that Hamza feels she's the best he can do.  She's such an ugly little twit.

With regards to Ximena, it was no surprise to me that both the sister and the mother were on Mike's side, because they probably also benefit from his largesse.  Ximena's facial expression was terrifying when he called her out on being a gold-digging user (I'm paraphrasing here) who totally turned on him after he refused to pay for her boobs, and whatnot.  I LMAO when her response was that he's still paying her rent.  Then later on what a great segue it was when he later refused to not stay at her house where HE's paying her rent.  She totally only slept with him that one more time so as to keep him locked in and on her side, the opposite of what his best friend's fiancee told him to do where she's concerned.  Yeah, like she really meant, "take it all, I don't care".  She knows darn well that HTF would Mr. Owl be able to transport her dining room furniture, as well as all the other furniture and furnishings back to America, so it was very easy for her to dare him to do it.  Yet another selfish, manipulative, self-serving beyotch.

Am I imagining it, or is this literally the WORST season ever of the bitchiest of bitches, and I use this to refer to BOTH genders - because that's how I view loopy-eyed Ben - as a beyotch of the first order.  There really is no one likable on this show, only lesser awful people, but no one good or great to root for.  Out of all of them, I find Jasmine to be the least offensive, which surprises me, because when she was in the midst of her multiple screaming and carrying on sessions with baldie, I didn't care for her at all.  However, since she's been showing her vulnerability and sensitivities, I've come to have compassion for her and wish the best for her.

It also made my night, and was so predictable that it's what would happen, when Mahogany left loopy eyed Ben behind at the resort.  I'm so disappointed to see from next week's previews that she agrees to meet up with him.  Not only is he physically repulsive, to the point of icking me out, but he's a crap person as well.  What an effing narcissist he is, deciding that everyone but himself is in the wrong and needs his benevolent understanding and forgiveness.  He's the epitome of a douchebag.  God I hate a--hole.  To not get that standing Mahogany up for breakfast was as immature as you can get, and for him to be droning on and on and on about how he didn't intend to offend the parents, while not once saying he was sorry for shitting on Mahogany says it all.  I love how she went at him, saying SHE was offended.  I can't believe this girl is only 22 years old.  Her maturity level is off the charts.  From the questions she asked Ben that he didn't like being asked, to the conversation she had with her dad, to her delivery of the dad's letter to Ben, she maintained mature dignity and didn't cave in to loopy eyes manipulation attempts.

[magemaud]

5 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

I heard on a podcast that Mike would frequent the 90 Day Reddit subs and behave with the same level of home training he has demonstrated on the show

I wish he would come over here so we could tear him a new one! No mercy! 

Edited March 22, 2022 by magemaud

[1011101010001]

29 minutes ago, Xebug67 said:

Her maturity level is off the charts.  From the questions she asked Ben that he didn't like being asked, to the conversation she had with her dad, to her delivery of the dad's letter to Ben, she maintained mature dignity and didn't cave in to loopy eyes manipulation attempts.

I agree he is a douchebag but I don’t think her scamming him out of $1000 is all that mature.  

[Xebug67]

On 3/19/2022 at 8:13 PM, Tuneful said:

There were 2-3 producer comments audible during the segment and they like they were totally over her. I like the way she pronounces "important" as "im-por-int." She really does not present like someone with a master's degree. She should have done all her research before going over there, not make it up as she goes along and dilly dally. Now she may pull out of a wedding his family has spent a lot of time, effort, and money to put on, which would be very embarrassing for them.

This epi is the first time my closed-caption feed has read "Women ululating." All the women in Hamza's fam are lookers!  

Mami Ximena told Mike "you are an opportunity for her and the kids" [no more, no less] and he ate it up. First serious boyfriend? I would call having someone's kid and having conjugal visits in a jail to have another guy's kid rather serious. Mami doesn't seem to care much whether they're in love, she just wants Ximena and the kids away from the bad influences. 

They filmed Kimbaaly packing, but she gets a text from USAman to meet him in the hotel bar right now. And suddenly she all thrilled and nervous, like she's Blanche DuBois and her gentleman caller has arrived. Since he chatted with his homies (and the bros were somewhat entertaining), he could just as well be inviting her there to dump her. He hopes she won't make a scene, but I can just see her screeching profanities and throwing all the munchies, condiments, and dishes on him this time. USAman is phony-baloney. He may propose a long-distance relationship, but a wedding will never happen. 

 

 

I remain flummoxed that bug-eyed, fire hydrant bodied hobbit was able to complete all of the education requirements to become a nurse practitioner.  She's so poorly spoken, and does not strike me as a go-getter, except when it comes to going and getting Hamza to marry her.  She looked awful in that Elvis outfit, although in the coming attractions, with her wig blown straight and without the messy, dirty looking, stringy weave/wig hair she usually sports, that's the best I've ever seen her look.  Toward the end of her segment, when she talked about how nice all of Hamza's family had been to her, and the importance of having them be her family as well, I thought she'd made up her mind not to do either the pre-nup or post-nup.  Boy, was I wrong.

It's so funny, because my closed captioning was saying the same thing about them "ululating", LOL.

Could Ximena have been any more unpleasant and harsh when she shot Mr. Owl down after her mother had told Mr. Owl about his being her first serious boyfriend?  How deflating of Mike's ego when she said she gets bored.  She clearly loves drama and relationships with felons as opposed to boring, freaky, creepy, weird Mr. Owl.  As if she's such a bargain to be so fussy.  They're BOTH creepy losers who deserve each other.

With regards to Usman and Kimbaaaly, I was so praying that he wouldn't cave in to her demands of a "big show" and let that basset hound faced (sorry, basset hounds) cow (sorry cows) go back to the states without having gotten her way.  Is it actually possible that Usman loves this heifer?  What he clearly loves about her is how she treats him and supports him and loves him.  So basically he loves being adored and loved, which isn't the same thing as loving the other person.  She is so gross, and gets grosser and grosser the more appearances that she makes on my TV.  BGL was definitely the uglier and grosser of the two, but not by much.  BGL also had her stinky smoker's breath going for her.

[FrancescaFiore]

2 hours ago, Texasmom1970 said:

The only thing that would have made this outfit better is him getting on a donkey and riding away. 😀

A donkey with a limp, yeah. And one droopy eye.