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S02.E08: Final Adjustments


JTMacc99
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Danielle's family said that she sabotages relationships. They are not lying. This is not the first time that Nick and Danielle have had arguments that have escalated from 0 to 1000 instantly. I am not feeling hopeful...

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How am I now team Shayne and Natalie?  I love how Natalie embraced (emotionally but also physically) Shayne’s mom. I loved the conversation between their moms. I actually hope they work out. 
 

I really like Deeps, therefore I want the best for her. Since she currently wants Shakes, I hope they figure it out. The passion doesn’t last. Most of the time. If you don’t have that friendship and comraderie, then  it won’t last. The fact that they seem to actually like each other gives me hope. 
 

i don’t think Mallory & Sal will last. Or Nick and Danielle. 
 

I am so sick of seeing those stupid gold goblets. 

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Have Natalie and Shayne talked about race at all?

I can't stand when people sit on kitchen counters. Also I feel like I missed something in Iyanna's back story. The couple adopted her when she was 22 and she moved in at 18? Where was she before that?

Shanye's father died TWO MONTHS before he did the show? When my father died I 100% would not have been ready to be on TV two months later. I was barely holding it together. I had shit to do and I mostly did it, but it was really, really hard. I couldn't even do all the administrative stuff two months out because of COVID.

Jarrette's sister has amazing skin. (So does Natalie.) And speaking of skin, I noticed this episode that Deepti wears her foundation a shade too light - her face is lighter than her neck.

3 hours ago, SoapDoc said:

Danielle's family said that she sabotages relationships. They are not lying. This is not the first time that Nick and Danielle have had arguments that have escalated from 0 to 1000 instantly. I am not feeling hopeful...

I really find her irritating. Like, girl, just be in the moment. They were having a nice time eating cake and she stirred up shit for no reason. She said she was really insecure about her looks but she's insecure about everything, I think.

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I am glad that Shake is at least honest with Deeps about where he is in terms of his attraction to her.  I thought he'd be telling everyone but her.  I loved her wedding outfit.

Danielle and Shayne must not get married.  They just can't.  They make less and less sense every week.  Danielle really is getting into her head about perceived slights.  Does therapy fix that? I don't know but it certainly seems like she hears something and interprets it it in the worst possible way. 

I also hate how Nick keeps pointing out their "age difference."  He's 36.  She's 28.  It's not that major.  If it were 22 and 30, I could see it being an issue but at 28, it's not crazy to think she'd be mature enough to get married.  Their lifestyles just seem incompatible for small apartments.  I think he's interpreting that as age.

I like what Sal says but I am getting the sense that this is more for singing exposure than anything else. 

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I did not see myself rooting for Shayne and Natalie, but here I am. I'm only at the part where the ladies are dress shopping, but I love that Natalie invited Shayne's mom to be a part of that. And their two moms meeting was cute. 

Edited by funnygirl
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6 hours ago, SoapDoc said:

Danielle's family said that she sabotages relationships. They are not lying. This is not the first time that Nick and Danielle have had arguments that have escalated from 0 to 1000 instantly. I am not feeling hopeful...

Yes! Nick is trying so hard and I'm all WTF is she mad about?  She definitely needs therapy. 

Add me to the chorus of rooting for Shayne and Natalie which is shocking. 

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12 hours ago, Empress1 said:

The couple adopted her when she was 22 and she moved in at 18? Where was she before that?

I think she said her mom gave her up to her sister when she was about 8 (for reasons I either don't remember or weren't actually explained), then the sister got sick and died (when she was a teen?) and Iyanna went into foster care.  I could be remembering this wrong though.

Edited by NeenerNeener
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9 minutes ago, NeenerNeener said:

I think she said her mom gave her up to her sister when she was about 8 (for reasons I either don't remember or weren't actually explained), then the sister got sick and died (when she was a teen?) and Iyanna went into foster care.  I could be remembering this wrong though.

Oof. If she was in foster care, not being chosen is probably a trigger for her, and it makes me a little surprised that she said yes to Jarrette.

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9 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Oof. If she was in foster care, not being chosen is probably a trigger for her, and it makes me a little surprised that she said yes to Jarrette.

That is a great point. And it's obvious that it bothers her. Maybe if it wasn't such a compressed timeline, they could get past it. And seeing Mallory at all the group gatherings doesn't help.

It's too fresh.

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10 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I also hate how Nick keeps pointing out their "age difference."  He's 36.  She's 28.  It's not that major.  If it were 22 and 30, I could see it being an issue but at 28, it's not crazy to think she'd be mature enough to get married.  Their lifestyles just seem incompatible for small apartments.  I think he's interpreting that as age.

I think it's "nicer" to say it's age vs immaturity. I am closer to his age, but work and am friends with people her age and they're both married and settled. There is a difference due to age - how we grew up, the things we grew up with, etc but in terms of lifestyle - no one is throwing ragers and breaking tables beyond college years. 

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7 hours ago, weightyghost said:

I think it's "nicer" to say it's age vs immaturity. I am closer to his age, but work and am friends with people her age and they're both married and settled. There is a difference due to age - how we grew up, the things we grew up with, etc but in terms of lifestyle - no one is throwing ragers and breaking tables beyond college years. 

Oh my gosh, yes. Why should anyone accept grown people coming to your house and breaking tables? That is unacceptable as a college student but grown married people?

Being grown doesn't mean you can't party,  but tearing up other people's furniture because you are drunk is ridiculous. She's being ridiculous for that...

Edited by SoapDoc
Bad spelling! In need of an editor...
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14 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Shanye's father died TWO MONTHS before he did the show? When my father died I 100% would not have been ready to be on TV two months later. I was barely holding it together. I had shit to do and I mostly did it, but it was really, really hard. I couldn't even do all the administrative stuff two months out because of COVID.

Fair and understandable but everyone deals with grief differently. It could be that this was a welcome/positive distraction, a desire to build a stronger foundation in your personal life after loss or many other things.

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2 hours ago, SoapDoc said:

Oh my gosh, yes. Why should anyone accept grown people coming to your house and breaking tables? That unacceptable as a college student but grown married people?

Bring grown doesn't mean you can't party,  but tearing up other people's furniture because you are drunk is ridiculous. She's being ridiculous for that...

It's also another thing I'm starting to hate about these types of shows. 

People willing to marry strangers sight unseen or at least propose that way but unwilling to change dynamics of their single life when THEY ARE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED TO A STRANGER. 

You can't just slot someone into your life or your regular single person dynamic. If they were doing this the normal way, you can find compromise together. But, right now, your significant others concerns or comfort can't be met with "so what, who cares?" Adjusting certain aspects of your life is not changing yourself. 

People shouldn't have to ask their spouses to not put a dog on my freaking bed in the middle of us while we sleep, not get drunk with the boys every week multiple times, not have people break our furniture like idiots. These things are cool when your single. Might not be when your with someone. Be ready to adjust. 

Edited by Racj82
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34 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

Fair and understandable but everyone deals with grief differently. It could be that this was a welcome/positive distraction, a desire to build a stronger foundation in your personal life after loss or many other things.

I wasn’t judging him. (He also probably isn’t handling the administrative stuff; his mom may be. My parents divorced when I was 15 and neither remarried so I was/am responsible for that stuff. I will be when my mother passes too.)

27 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

not get drunk with the boys every week multiple times,

Right. And they are still supposed to be getting to know each other and their friends, so why is Jarrette ditching her like that? Did he invite her out with him?

Edited by Empress1
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12 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I wasn’t judging him. (He also probably isn’t handling the administrative stuff; his mom may be. My parents divorced when I was 15 and neither remarried so I was/am responsible for that stuff. I will be when my mother passes too.)

Right. And they are still supposed to be getting to know each other and their friends, so why is Jarrette ditching her like that? Did he invite her out with him?

I didn't think you were judging. Just giving a different perspective.

She doesn't like to go out at and do the nightlife thing at all so if he wants to go out and hang, she won't be there. 

Edited by Racj82
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Jarrette did invite her. Iyanna annoyed me greatly with this. The convoy was all about how he needs to change and nothing about her. Look, no he doesn't need to be out 5 times a week. BUT she can go out with him a couple times just like he can stay home. Why should he be the only one changing to what she likes? You BOTH compromise and make an effort to enjoy what the other likes. Heck, she could go with him and leave early or maybe they both leave early. 

*Admittedly, this is a huge trigger for me. 

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48 minutes ago, Court said:

Jarrette did invite her. Iyanna annoyed me greatly with this. The convoy was all about how he needs to change and nothing about her. Look, no he doesn't need to be out 5 times a week. BUT she can go out with him a couple times just like he can stay home. Why should he be the only one changing to what she likes? You BOTH compromise and make an effort to enjoy what the other likes. Heck, she could go with him and leave early or maybe they both leave early. 

*Admittedly, this is a huge trigger for me. 

I totally agree! She should make an effort to go out with him at least once a week, since it's something he loves to do.

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1 hour ago, Zima said:

I totally agree! She should make an effort to go out with him at least once a week, since it's something he loves to do.

She could at least try it. She's judging him in regards to wanting to go out but she doesn't want to go out either. Which goes along with my hatred for I did this as a single person and I'm not even going to try and adjust. 

 

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Jarrette's friends look they can be transported whole into a very cool FX or HBOMax comedy. They are an entire vibe.

I loved Natalie's mom and Shayne's mom meeting for the first time.  They looked so thrilled.

Mallory's upset at Salvador's ex feels manufactured (by her) and an easy out ploy, imo.  What? Is he never supposed to have had another person meet his sisters, ever?  Her accusatory 'Why did you even do this experiment?' question felt disingenuous.  He's 30 years old, he's had other relationships.  Maybe they just weren't the right person?  Maybe he's tried?  Ugh.  Anyway, still very meh on them.  They have anti-chemistry.

I am not sure why I thought Deepti and Shake slept together before.  But I wonder what that conversation looked like?  Thankfully he finally told her what he'd been telling other people.  But All I am getting from him is that he loves her, he loves what she represents, and she is the perfect wife for him but he just doesn't want to have sex with her.  I hate his constant use of 'animal attraction' but he is a vet so maybe he is more comfortable thinking in those terms.

Nick and Danielle just get more toxic.  They should not get married. If they do, I do NOT see it lasting.  They will have done what they both so desperately don't want to do and that is have a failed marriage.

 

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On 2/18/2022 at 8:30 PM, Whimsy said:

How am I now team Shayne and Natalie?  I love how Natalie embraced (emotionally but also physically) Shayne’s mom. I loved the conversation between their moms. I actually hope they work out. 

I feel like they have shown us the charming, supportive Shayne, but no arguments, so it's easy to root for them.  But I can't forget how he deflected responsibility back in the pod when he thought Natalie was Shaina and said "I was hoping it was you".  

On 2/18/2022 at 8:30 PM, Whimsy said:

I really like Deeps, therefore I want the best for her. Since she currently wants Shakes, I hope they figure it out. The passion doesn’t last. Most of the time. If you don’t have that friendship and comraderie, then  it won’t last. The fact that they seem to actually like each other gives me hope. 

The friendship is indeed a fantastic base.  But the physical helps a couple connect and to re-charge the relationship throughout. It sounds like they are at the point that they aren't even kissing.  As awesome as the emotional connection is, if there is a total absence of the physical aspect (and not due to some other condition) , then I can't imagine that one or both wouldn't eventually stray.

6 hours ago, DearEvette said:

Mallory's upset at Salvador's ex feels manufactured (by her) and an easy out ploy, imo.  What? Is he never supposed to have had another person meet his sisters, ever?  Her accusatory 'Why did you even do this experiment?' question felt disingenuous.  He's 30 years old, he's had other relationships.  Maybe they just weren't the right person?  Maybe he's tried?  Ugh.  Anyway, still very meh on them.  They have anti-chemistry.

That whole thing was weird and since the actual fight occurred off-camera, we don't know how it played out.  But as presented to us from listening to them each talk, it sounded hinky on her part.  The worst, though, is that she said something after they had made up, like "if something else happens or there's another revelation, I'm done."  That's not the kind of commitment it takes to be married!

I have also been wondering about the lack of chemistry.  Plus when Mallory tells Sal she loves him, she has on more than one occasion said it like "I do love you," which is how you would say it if you were unsure or trying to convince someone.

6 hours ago, DearEvette said:

I am not sure why I thought Deepti and Shake slept together before.  But I wonder what that conversation looked like?  Thankfully he finally told her what he'd been telling other people.  But All I am getting from him is that he loves her, he loves what she represents, and she is the perfect wife for him but he just doesn't want to have sex with her.  I hate his constant use of 'animal attraction' but he is a vet so maybe he is more comfortable thinking in those terms.

I was glad he finally told her but he has yet to say what happened that caused the difference from how he was at the reveal.  It was very interesting to hear him tell Shayne that he is afraid to even try because he's scared he'll lose his best friend.  Unbelievably, Shayne gave him good advice, when he asked what Shake has been doing about the situation, and Shake said he hadn't been doing anything.  So Shayne said that clearly that hasn't been working, and that if it were him, he'd have sex every day for the final week to see if he can make something happen.

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This panic about Natalie and Shayne being too different or never talking about my race really makes me roll my eyes, considering how common couples like this are in my everyday life.  They'll work it out.  They'll be fine.

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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19 hours ago, DearEvette said:

I am not sure why I thought Deepti and Shake slept together before.  But I wonder what that conversation looked like?  Thankfully he finally told her what he'd been telling other people.  But All I am getting from him is that he loves her, he loves what she represents, and she is the perfect wife for him but he just doesn't want to have sex with her.  I hate his constant use of 'animal attraction' but he is a vet so maybe he is more comfortable thinking in those terms.

I think there is a difference between what Shake said this episode to Deeps, which was essentially "Our relationship has everything I could want except a crazy physical attraction where we're all over each other all the time" and what he's been telling other people, which is "I have no physical attraction to her at all and it's like seeing my aunt and I don't know if I can do this."

10 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

I feel like they have shown us the charming, supportive Shayne, but no arguments, so it's easy to root for them.  But I can't forget how he deflected responsibility back in the pod when he thought Natalie was Shaina and said "I was hoping it was you".  

Shayne and Natalie have had a few arguments. He walked off during their dinner date in Mexico because of one of them. 

9 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

This panic about Natalie and Shayne being too different or never talking about my race really makes me roll my eyes, considering how common couples like this are in my everyday life.  They'll work it out.  They'll be fine.

I haven't taken a survey of interracial couples but I would find it hard to believe that those who are contemplating marriage have never talked about race, or rarely talk about race. It's an unfortunate reality that race-related issues are going to pop up in each others' lives and their lives as a couple in a way that they probably have not before, and it seems to make sense to discuss that. Of course in the case of Natalie and Shayne, maybe the talking all got left on the cutting room floor. 

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14 minutes ago, Chicago Redshirt said:

I haven't taken a survey of interracial couples but I would find it hard to believe that those who are contemplating marriage have never talked about race, or rarely talk about race. It's an unfortunate reality that race-related issues are going to pop up in each others' lives and their lives as a couple in a way that they probably have not before, and it seems to make sense to discuss that. Of course in the case of Natalie and Shayne, maybe the talking all got left on the cutting room floor.

I agree.  I would bet $$ they talked about it.  At the very least they discussed cultural differences which we know they did because Shayne alluded to it.  Cynically, my feeling is it did get left on the cutting room floor because 1) it probably wasn't a major deal to them (like it was with Lauren in S1) and 2) that wasn't their story line (again, like it was with Lauren -- which even she said was played up more on the show that it was in reality) and 3) Asian females have the second highest of all out-marriage rates in the US.  So it isn't quite an issue as it is with a black female because black women have the lowest out-marriage rate.  And since they already did the 'racial differences' story line with Lauren/Cam last year ,I get the sense they did not want to revisit it this year, instead honing in on love triangles and the 'religious differences' story line with Shaina and Kyle.

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I’m so intrigued that most people on these boards seem to be rooting for Shayne and Natalie, because every time I see him all I can think is “run Natalie!”
 

She seems great, and I really liked that she brought his lovely Mom along dress “shopping.” But -based on the edited version we’ve seen of him- he seems like he could cause her a whole lot of misery. 

When Shaina’s brother said the “American” line to Kyle, it really jumped out to me that with our country currently so politically divided, differing politics is probably now more of a problematic issue for some potential couples than other possible differences, like religion or race. Certainly more than it used to be.   

 

Edited by Cramps
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I think the issue with Sal's ex was that she thought they were a couple and then he left to do the show. And came back engaged. Similar to guys that go on the Bachelor but have a girlfriend back home. So the ex is upset because they were a thing. Mal is upset because why do the show is you were in a relationship and wondering if Sal is really serious about it. And Sal isn't being honest about what that relationship really was.

I think Mal will say no. She always says she appreciates Sal, like that's her first instinct. And then follows up with an I love you. And I don't see them planning to integrate their lives.

Shayne and Natalie actually feel like they're talking about the future and planning the future and taking steps for that.

Nick and Danielle, never gonna happen. The more he gets to know her the more i out of that relationship he is. He just has to get her to the wedding and then he's out.

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6 hours ago, P2C2E said:

I think Mal will say no. She always says she appreciates Sal, like that's her first instinct. And then follows up with an I love you.

They don’t have the easy rapport she had with Jarrette. Sal seems more into Mallory than Mallory seems into him.

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Danielle is exhausting. She needs a therapist not a husband. As a fellow introvert I can understand why Iayana didn't want to go out. Iayana and Jarette may make.

Shayne's mom was so supportive of all the women when they were dress shopping. I'm also on the Shayne and Natalie train. 

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I'm not at all surprised by Shake's issues. He has actively avoided dating any Indian girls. So yes, all of the Indian women you see are family (and "aunties"). Shayne has it right* - do something different if you want a different outcome. One thing that I think is overlooked by many people is that a failure to communicate what you like physically can result in not getting what you like. Shake continues to think that all he likes is skin tone and hair color, but I bet if he were to explain preferences, he might be surprised at the results. 

* I never thought I'd say that...

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13 hours ago, Rlb8031 said:

I'm not at all surprised by Shake's issues. He has actively avoided dating any Indian girls.

Shake isn't attracted to her because Shake is attracted to assimilating. Deepti is the opposite of that. His initial attraction to her had no chance going up against his subconscious self-hate.

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I am also rooting for Shayne and Natalie. Something about them has come together for me. I am also rooting for Deeps and Shake. 

Nick and Danielle have disaster written all over them. She seems a little immature and I can't stand how she turns everything into an argument and blames her insecurities. Her mom was correct when she said Danielle sabotages her relationships. I see something shady in Nick that I don't like.

I am on the fence for the other couples but I do not want to see Iyanna get hurt. 

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On 2/22/2022 at 6:51 PM, spunky said:

Danielle is exhausting. She needs a therapist not a husband. As a fellow introvert I can understand why Iayana didn't want to go out. Iayana and Jarette may make.

Shayne's mom was so supportive of all the women when they were dress shopping. I'm also on the Shayne and Natalie train. 

The root cause of Danielle's issues can be summed up in two words..........HER MOTHER!!!  I'd bet you dollars to donuts that Danielle has spent the first 28 years of her life trying to please her mother.  And it didn't help that her mother was a "psychology major" in college.  I'm sure she analyzed and prodded that little girl to no end.  As she sipped on many glasses of wine.

That dress was horrible and Danielle did NOT care for it.  The one she actually wanted was shut down with, "No.  We don't like that one".

I agree.  She does need a therapist.  Unfortunately, she has a free one, who's pretty self-centered.

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