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S14.E06: Dark Side of the Honeymoon


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3 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I don't know if it was on the regular episode or the after-show, but Lindsey said the landlord is a mother figure to Mark.  I hope he's not banging her.

That's what Mark told her, but who knows what their real relationship is like?  Certainly not Lindsey, and she'll probably never see her.   

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16 hours ago, antfitz said:

I agree.  I would have just said something if I was Lindsey. Allyssa keeps thinking if she's talking like she's normal, people will think she's normal. She's just a certified spoiled bitch. What must her mother have put up with.....or created.

Exactly!

In the beginning, I was hoping Alyssa would be more like Jamie (Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner, MAFS S1) and give Chris a chance.

But now I'm glad she didn't. I'm sorry for what Chris is going through. He went into this with his heart in the right place, and my heart breaks for the pain he must be feeling.

However...he deserves much better than Alyssa. There's no doubt in my mind he'd be a good husband and father.

I've always thought people who say one of their primary life goals is to get married and have a family isn't married by their early to mid-thirties, then they probably have one or more serious personality flaws they refuse to acknowledge, or their "picker" is off.

We all know which category Alyssa is in. 

Chris probably has a faulty picker. He admitted despite having several long-term relationships, every one of them ended after the honeymoon phase was over, due to incompatibility. That usually describes someone who relies on feeling a "spark" or instant chemistry to decide whether to pursue a relationship with a person they just met.

The problem is a spark or instant chemistry is only sexual attraction; it doesn't inform us whether we share any of the same life goals, moral codes, or compatibility in other areas.

It's natural for sexual attraction to begin to wane 6 mos - 2 years into a relationship. When that happens, all the areas of incompatibility the couple share become glaringly obvious. (It's not that all areas of incompatibility are on hold during the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship. It's just that when we hear "Warning! Warning! Danger Will Robinson!" whispered in our ear, we're too busy having sex for the third time that day to pay any attention to it).

When Chris realized this is what he'd been doing, having someone else choose a woman for him probably sounded like a great idea. I think Chris would have given his all to any woman MAFS paired him with, even if she didn't fit the mold of his usual "type". 

I'll bet most of us here wish we could tell Chris "Don't take Alyssa's treatment of you personally". But the fact is her attacks and accusations are personal. His experience with Alyssa will have affected him, so after Chris returns to his pre-MAFS life, I hope he takes some time to put Alyssa and MAFS behind him before jumping into another relationship, or even dating.

Then he can start sorting through the hundreds - if not thousands - of messages that will have been sent to him by single women from all over the world; women who think Chris is the perfect man for them.

With any luck, one of them might turn out to be the perfect woman for Chris.

I hope so; Chris deserves nothing less!

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Screw all the psycho-babble diagnostics.  Alyssa is just a mean, nasty fucking twat.  Period.

How she ever rescues animals that are less than perfect is beyond me.  I used to do rescue for the hard - HARD - luck cases - serious, end of days kiddos who were about ten exits past hospice.  (I still take on hospice kids, but had to back down to one or two at a time for my sanity.)

Seriously, You can't take a look at an animal who has mange, mites, fleas, tumors... who is starved and biting and worse and just say "meh..."   "they have jacked up teeth."   This little girl is one bitter pill.   I hope she can look back at this and grow the hell up.   Nasty.  NAS-TY.

Grow up little girl.  You are not 17 years old.

 

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On 2/10/2022 at 8:32 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

It's particularly common in the Black community, in no small part because of history--lack of access to pools because they were prohibited from swimming in them because of segregation, or the areas they lived in didn't have the infrastructure investment in pools.

My favorite nonprofit gives free swimming lessons to kids in underserved areas.  I love it because it's the LAST thing a parent with limited means is going to pay for for their kids, and no person has ever been better off not being able to swim, so the kids get 100% of the benefit of my donations. 

Also, the weave thing.  I learned to swim when I was 5.  It was sink or swim with me.  Now I am a certified fish.

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On 2/12/2022 at 7:00 AM, kristen111 said:

Because she loves him and is jealous he’s taken now?  She probably planted the bed bugs there thinking the new Bride was going to sleep there.

Not sure why this has  me quoted as the author.

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Is there a Live Chat for this??  Because Alyssa just said that it's fucking disgusting that a man is treating a woman like that who's been nothing but nice to him!

And I NEED SOMEONE to share my incredulity right now, right in the moment.  Someone else with mouth agape, whose chin is hanging down against her chest.

 

Alyssa is sick of being "the good person" and "taking the high road."

ROTFL  Who wrote this?  It is comedy platinum.

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Quote

I've always thought people who say one of their primary life goals is to get married and have a family isn't married by their early to mid-thirties, then they probably have one or more serious personality flaws they refuse to acknowledge, or their "picker" is off.

I don't believe that at all, possibly because I didn't marry until I was 45. Things happen. 

Quote

How she ever rescues animals that are less than perfect is beyond me.  I used to do rescue for the hard - HARD - luck cases - serious, end of days kiddos who were about ten exits past hospice.  (I still take on hospice kids, but had to back down to one or two at a time for my sanity.)

I can see her being drawn to rescue as evidence that she is a "good fucking person." It wouldn't surprise me, though if she doesn't foster dogs - she said something about "going on a rescue mission" which makes me think that she works with a rescue that pulls dogs from other countries and she maybe "escorts" them back to the US. That's not a bad thing but I don't see her having a dog in her home that has mites or fleas or mange. 

A husband though? Someone that has to choose her as much as she chooses him? Well he has to be perfect, upholding the image she has of herself in every way. No dad bods; no crooked teeth. 

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28 minutes ago, Emma Snyder said:

The episode threads unlock for commenting as soon as the episodes originally air on Wednesdays at 8:00PM EST, so that in essence is your Live Chat.

Good to know. My 600lb. Life is over for the season and now my Live Chat (aka snark) schedule is wide open. Hope others choose to join in the merriment.

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22 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Good to know. My 600lb. Life is over for the season and now my Live Chat (aka snark) schedule is wide open. Hope others choose to join in the merriment.

LET'S GET IT ON!

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On 2/10/2022 at 12:07 PM, Crashcourse said:

I wonder if Mark was screwing the landlord and now that he's married, the landlord is pissed.  Nobody just blows up your phone like that.  Something still doesn't sound right with that situation.   Lindsey handled things well, but I got a "gotcha" vibe from her because he needed a place to stay.   

I had the same suspicion about Mark's real relationship with the landlord, and I think Lindsey might also be suspicious.  She's not stupid.  There's something not right with that situation.  From the previews it looks like we'll find out more about that.  It sounds like Mark has a few strange friendships or "situationships".

On 2/10/2022 at 12:25 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

I was cringing at the idea of Mark bringing any bed bug infested belongings to Lindsay’s place. And I wasn’t clear about how cats would have been involved in a bed bug infestation. Fleas or ticks? Maybe if they were outdoor cats. But bed bugs? What the hell? That being said, Lindsay taking charge of the situation did my heart good. I think her “project manager” bona fides kicked in.

I agree.  When my father was alive, in his later years I managed his apartment in NYC for him.  There were always newsletters about bedbugs and how to handle them.  Thankfully my father never had them but others in the building did.  There are specific ways of getting rid of them and none of them are easy.  If Mark is moving out the best thing he can do is put his stuff in a truck or storage room and fumigate it with a bug bomb, then leave it alone for a while, preferably in an unheated environment in the Winter if possible.  Anything less than that might not be enough, unfortunately.  I don't worry about them handling it successfully.  They'll figure it out.

 

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On 2/10/2022 at 2:16 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

Alyssa is abysmally failing to gaslight us all.

We hear Chris speak mildly, respectfully, honestly, and Alyssa tries to convince us and the producers that he is rude and disrespectful!

We watch her refuse every interaction and walk away from conversations, then hear her claim to be "trying my best"! 

No, Alyssa, though you declare it 100 times, you are not "a good person" [just because you are holding back from telling Chris you find him repulsive]. 

 

So true.  What's really sad is that nobody would think Alyssa is a bad person for not being attracted to her husband and not wanting to be married to him, not if she just owned up to it and said, "I'm so sorry, I really wanted this but I just can't go there with him".  What makes her a bad person is treating him like shit as if he's to blame for it pure and simple.   

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On 2/10/2022 at 4:26 PM, Crashcourse said:
On 2/10/2022 at 4:13 PM, glitterpussy said:

How do these people reach adulthood without knowing how to swim?

I don't think that's unusual.  A lot of adults don't swim because they're not interested in beaches, pools, or boats so there's no desire to learn.  I'm a landlubber.  😊 

Perhaps, but it's one of those things that at one time was more commonly learned in childhood, like riding a bike.  At least in my day where I came from (the Bronx) we had day camps and community center pools and stuff like that where you'd be taught that stuff whether you liked it or not, LOL.  And this applied to people of all races and economic/social backgrounds so it wasn't exclusive to anyone for those reasons.  I did not come from money AT ALL.  This stuff was free and open to anyone and everyone.  Plus some big schools had pools and there were just more opportunities for learning that stuff and it was much harder to avoid.

Of course childhood has changed a lot since then and I suppose a lot of young people today like Noi don't have occasion to learn how to swim and are more able to avoid it.  Adults used to think learning to swim was something everyone should do so when I was young you were more apt to be taught how to do it at one point or another.  Later on people let kids do more of what they wanted to do not what adults thought they should do.

And speaking of being skinny and not floating, when I learned how to swim as a kid I had to be well under 100 lbs. and never had any problem floating in fresh water.  🤷‍♂️

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On 2/10/2022 at 4:31 PM, psychoticstate said:

Alyssa is living in some crazy ass world if she thinks that she can move into the MAFS apartment, without Chris, and still be part of the "experiment" and hang out with "her girls."  Um, bitch, it doesn't work that way.  No one is interested in you hanging out with Jasmina and Katina (because we know Lindsey hates her and Noi is too busy with Steve).  Nope.   I will, however, still watch if Chris is on his own hanging out with the guys.  

I think Alyssa watched previous seasons of MAFS and saw that some of the wives that were "done wrong" and basically deserted by their husbands (like Paige and Mindy) were allowed to continue living in the apartment and hang with the rest of the cast, so in her warped mind she thought that if she didn't like her husband the show would allow her to do that too.  But what her narcissistic mind can't grasp is that for the show to allow her to do that she would have to be the one "done wrong", not the one that wants out.  The one that doesn't want to participate in "the process" is the one that leaves and goes back home to their original residence, not the other way around.  She wants to force Chris into leaving so she can continue to stay in the apartment and hang with the others, and he's not having it.  And the show wouldn't expect him to leave either.  He was perfectly willing to work with her.  She's the one that doesn't want to work with him.  And now she's trying to manipulate him and the show into making HIM leave and let her stay.  She is completely DELUSIONAL if she thinks anyone's going to go for that!

Edited by Yeah No
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On 2/12/2022 at 6:57 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:
On 2/12/2022 at 8:26 AM, Gator Stud said:

I think Shark is banging the landlord in exchange for free rent.

I don't know if it was on the regular episode or the after-show, but Lindsey said the landlord is a mother figure to Mark.  I hope he's not banging her.

I heard her say that too although not sure where, but the impression I got is that Mark told her his landlord was a "mother figure" to him but Lindsey herself is side-eyeing that description.  I hope he's not banging her either but it looks like Lindsey might be as suspicious about that as some of us are.

On 2/12/2022 at 10:03 PM, Crashcourse said:

That's what Mark told her, but who knows what their real relationship is like?  Certainly not Lindsey, and she'll probably never see her.   

Hah, I didn't see this before I posted above!

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On 2/13/2022 at 1:20 AM, TwirlyGirly said:

I've always thought people who say one of their primary life goals is to get married and have a family isn't married by their early to mid-thirties, then they probably have one or more serious personality flaws they refuse to acknowledge, or their "picker" is off.

I thought that too but then we've seen many rather imperfect people in that age bracket find their match.  Look at Jamie and Elizabeth, after all!!

Plus I was told that my "picker may be broken" by well meaning friends at one time.  Then they tried to fix me up with someone thinking they knew better than me who to pick and the guy turned out to be a misogynist and verbal abuser.  They ended up apologizing to me!  I trust my gut.  It's rough out there after a certain age.  Some people just miss the boat because they were involved in their careers, other relationships where they were "done wrong", or are "quirky" and have a harder time meeting someone that matches well with them.  And yeah, sometimes the choices just in a word, SUCK.  I know the name of that tune!

BTW, the misogynist verbal abuser ended up marrying an Asian woman that needed a green card.  He once told me he liked foreign born Asian women because they accepted men as their authority figures (his words not mine!).  So even HE found someone, but it was sure as heck not going to be ME and nobody would blame me for that!

So getting back to the show, I don't necessarily think right out of the gate that these people have serious issues or don't know how to pick a mate knowing how there can be a lot of other reasons they haven't found someone that aren't their fault at all.

Edited by Yeah No
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I was listening to Jac and Glen's recap on YouTube, and Glen postulated that the whole scene with Pastor Cal and him "setting up an activity" for Chris and Alyssa to do was edited in after the fact. I hadn't thought of that but it wouldn't surprise me at all.

In terms of Mark's landlady, she was at the wedding. She looks like she's in her fifties, maybe? She could just be possessive, it doesn't have to be sexual. Maybe she's come to rely on him for stuff, and she's jealous he's not going to be around any longer.

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2 minutes ago, gingerandcloves said:

I was listening to Jac and Glen's recap on YouTube, and Glen postulated that the whole scene with Pastor Cal and him "setting up an activity" for Chris and Alyssa to do was edited in after the fact. I hadn't thought of that but it wouldn't surprise me at all.

In terms of Mark's landlady, she was at the wedding. She looks like she's in her fifties, maybe? She could just be possessive, it doesn't have to be sexual. Maybe she's come to rely on him for stuff, and she's jealous he's not going to be around any longer.

I like that theory about Pastor Cal, it sounds plausible.  Like he's trying after the fact to look like they were really concerned and "monitoring the situation between Chris and Alyssa" (Cal's words) when in fact they were doing bupkis at the time.

As far as Mark's landlady is concerned, the one thing that's making me think it was more than just codependence of a non-sexual nature is the amount of times she texted him.  That speaks to a type of jealousy that IMO goes beyond a platonic relationship.  As a woman, I know that usually a sexual component has to be present before a woman would text a guy that many times, especially when she KNOWS he's on his honeymoon!

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I still think that Mark has a problem setting boundaries with people. I am not sure if it is the same person or there are 2 different women - 1 the landlord and the other his "best friend", but I can see either/both of them being possessive of having Mark around all the time. Maybe to help with house stuff or things like that. And it doesn't have to be sexual. The BFF can be used to having him to go places with, like dinner or a movie. and the landlord likes to have him around. The fact that these women (or woman) texted him throughout their freaking honeymoon shows that Mark has some serious boundary issues.  The BF sees his new wife as the ultimate competition and knows she will lose him. If I can remember what she looked like, she probably doesn't have her own dates and is experiencing a huge loss to her life. That said, if she is truly his friend, she needs to be supportive and let go. But, either way, Mark needs to speak up before Lindsey has to - and that won't be pretty!

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8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

think Alyssa watched previous seasons of MAFS and saw that some of the wives that were "done wrong" and basically deserted by their husbands (like Paige and Mindy) were allowed to continue living in the apartment and hang with the rest of the cast, so in her warped mind she thought that if she didn't like her husband the show would allow her to do that too.  But what her narcissistic mind can't grasp is that for the show to allow her to do that she would have to be the one "done wrong", not the one that wants out. 

I’m also pretty sure Paige left - I think I remember seeing her packing up. And I think Mindy stayed because her “divorce party” was in that apartment, and I remember thinking “why is she still there? I’d go home where my stuff is.”

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I am getting tired of Chris saying that if Alyssa is in it even 1 %, then he's in 100%. Her actions are doing the talking. She doesn't need to say she's in it even a little because it is obvious that she 100 % is not. 

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20 minutes ago, Jax7917 said:

I am getting tired of Chris saying that if Alyssa is in it even 1 %, then he's in 100%. Her actions are doing the talking. She doesn't need to say she's in it even a little because it is obvious that she 100 % is not. 

I agree in theory but there must be a reason he keeps pushing her for an answer & she does anything to avoid giving him one. $$$$$$$$ would be the obvious one.

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1 hour ago, Welshman in Ca said:

I agree in theory but there must be a reason he keeps pushing her for an answer & she does anything to avoid giving him one. $$$$$$$$ would be the obvious one.

I agree.  She’s staying because the contract says she has to film and attend scheduled activities( with exceptions for outside work for example).  She doesn’t want to be in breach of contract.   She has no intention of putting forth a good faith effort to get to know Chris though. 
Chris doesn’t want to be in breach of contract either. That’s why he is putting the decision on her.  It’s also possible that he believes in ‘the process’.  He thinks there is a slim chance she would see him as a good catch by the end of the eight weeks.  That is not possible with Alyssa because she has no intention of giving him a chance. 

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On 2/13/2022 at 1:20 AM, TwirlyGirly said:

The problem is a spark or instant chemistry is only sexual attraction; it doesn't inform us whether we share any of the same life goals, moral codes, or compatibility in other areas.

It's natural for sexual attraction to begin to wane 6 mos - 2 years into a relationship. When that happens, all the areas of incompatibility the couple share become glaringly obvious. (It's not that all areas of incompatibility are on hold during the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship. It's just that when we hear "Warning! Warning! Danger Will Robinson!" whispered in our ear, we're too busy having sex for the third time that day to pay any attention to it).

Gotta disagree that a spark or instant chemistry is only sexual attraction.  You can feel attraction or a spark because of someone's humor or a competence in what they are doing or how they are showing compassion or their intelligence or any number of things. 

And feeling that spark, even if it is sexual, does not doom one to being blind about the incompatibilities.  It's possible to feel a spark/chemistry and still not let your libido do your thinking for you!

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On 2/13/2022 at 12:08 PM, candall said:

Is there a Live Chat for this??  Because Alyssa just said that it's fucking disgusting that a man is treating a woman like that who's been nothing but nice to him!

And I NEED SOMEONE to share my incredulity right now, right in the moment.  Someone else with mouth agape, whose chin is hanging down against her chest.

 

Alyssa is sick of being "the good person" and "taking the high road."

ROTFL  Who wrote this?  It is comedy platinum.

Yeah, she has nothing, and I mean NOTHING but false claims to how horrible Chris has treated her. She actually said he's "doing her dirty". Exactly how? By being nice apparently because she then accused him of being a "fucking used car salesman who sells houses." What does that even mean???? And when he (gently) pushed her to verbalize her problems with him she got up and left. She likes to dish it but cannot take one ounce back. If he pushes, he's "being disrespectful". If he's pleasant, he's "doing her dirty". No win for poor Chris. She can keep her 1% of trying - sending her packing!!!!!

23 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I can see her being drawn to rescue as evidence that she is a "good fucking person."

I believe she has even stated that as evidence of what a wonderful person she is. But I said it earlier in the season, and I'll say it again: Anyone who verbalizes that they like animals more than people frequently says this because they do not get along well with humans. It's clear to me this is why Alyssa likes animals. She is terrible with her own species......

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2 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I believe she has even stated that as evidence of what a wonderful person she is. But I said it earlier in the season, and I'll say it again: Anyone who verbalizes that they like animals more than people frequently says this because they do not get along well with humans. It's clear to me this is why Alyssa likes animals. She is terrible with her own species....

I hope she's not as "wonderful" with the animals as she thinks she is with people!!

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On 2/12/2022 at 6:23 AM, LennieBriscoe said:

Is "Christ" a typo or deliberate? IDGI if the latter. Maybe the patience of Job? But "Christ" sounds like a mockery of both Chris and Jesus in this context. 

 


Chris is putting up with a lot of bullshit.  Christ had to put up with alot too. He has the patience of Christ. I am not mocking any religious figure.  I think historical Jesus was a cool guy. I dont believe in the fear based presentation of God, and think she has a wicked sense of humor.  I dont thinK God is a hall monitor carrying a clipboard waiting for people to fuck up so she can send them to hell. But Chris has been Christ-like so far.  He might have a bad side, but we havnt seen it yet.

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Alyssa can’t just say she wants to be on a reality show but doesn’t want to bunk with Chris? Getting married had little to do with her joining the show. If the guy had been attractive to her, she probably would have put in a bit of effort until he annoyed her and then she’d be where she is now

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I sometimes wonder if they intentional bring in a self-absorbed sociopath to give the viewers someone to rage at. We've had some horrible people every year, yet I would be more invested in the show if we had at least 4 out of 5 successful marriages sticking together. Heck even 3 out of 5 would help avoid the cringe factor. Poor Chris, he got the word of the lot, and I'm curious what the hell she sees in her mirror that makes her comfortable enough to know someone's appearance or mannerisms. Holy smokes, she is ready for a narcisicm (sp?) intervention.

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On 2/10/2022 at 12:07 PM, Matty said:

Show a little self-respect, Chris. Leave now with your head held up high. Don't stay there and be Alyssa's whipping boy. It's a really bad look. Call it a day and walk. Then Alyssa won't get to stay in the apartment on her own and hang out with the girls. Beat her at her own game.  

I think Chris has both shown the high road and self-respect. He's clearly thinks before he speaks and I would guarantee he's got an Alyssa list of personality defects stored in his brain. He will come through these season, and I want to see the experts tear miss princess a new one. She and Zach from 2 (?) years ago should hook up, lol.

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18 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

Alyssa can’t just say she wants to be on a reality show but doesn’t want to bunk with Chris? Getting married had little to do with her joining the show. If the guy had been attractive to her, she probably would have put in a bit of effort until he annoyed her and then she’d be where she is now

I don't think she wanted a mate, she wanted a paid wedding and honeymoon so she can actually imply someone wanted her. And now she can tell people she was married because I bet she's asked a lot why she isn't married.

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9 hours ago, Jassie99 said:

Alyssa is not only a immature, bratty bitch but worst of all she is incredibly dangerous.  Her weaponizing her "white woman tears" and going into hysterics at the slight of something not going her way, but to say he is aggressive just infuriate me. 

I wouldn't call those 'white woman tears' because she's actually using her "I 've been robbed of my experience, entitlement tears" She's like a self-centred 15 year old, who doesn't  want to try anything except move into a cool apartment.

On 2/9/2022 at 5:32 PM, kristen111 said:

Oh yeah .. like tennis will bring Chris and Alyssa together.  I hate her bullshit voice.  All she talks about is not feeling comfortable and not being respected.  Her two favorite words.  Wish she would go home.

Don't forget her daily "I'm a fucking good person" refrain and her threat that "My edit better show that." Ugh... Go away Ace, lol

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On 2/9/2022 at 5:38 PM, Cancun said:

And Alyssa apparently thinks a slumber party/dorm/community living situation with the other girls is a reasonable reason for her to “get to have the apartment”?  She just sounds so…so like, stuck at, like, the college phase.

What amuses me is that none of the girls actually want to be around her for longer than an hour.

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On 2/9/2022 at 5:51 PM, CSunshine76 said:

Chris is an asshole and disrespectful? WHEN? HOW? Girl, you need HELP! I’m yelling at my tv…she’s got me all sorts of angry! 

Now Alyssa's family's warnings to Chris all make sense. Her own mother tells her she's to blame.

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On 2/9/2022 at 6:42 PM, Mindthinkr said:

That’s probably what she wants. Then she can go the victim route…he didn’t try…he didn’t like me enough….he discontinued the processs…a marriage you can’t have when one person is Ice.

I love that Chris is going to make HER say she wants to end it because she's vso terrified that she will "look bad". Too late, Ice...

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18 hours ago, Jassie99 said:

Jasmina does not like Michael. She has not liked him since she was told by his sisters he is a pessimist. I don't like him either but he is trying.

I think Jaz wanted someone taller.  But she doesn't seem like an optimist herself. When they come on, I feel like I need to take a Zoloft. 

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