Season 3 Episode Discussion

[QQQQ]

Spoiler

I feel like I've been punched in the gut. 

 

Edited January 14, 2022 by QQQQ

[SHD]

3 hours ago, QQQQ said:

  Reveal spoiler

I feel like I've been punched in the gut. 

 

Yes. This exactly.

[DonnaMae]

I binge-watched over two nights and thought the ending was the right one.  Brian, the ugly guy with black hair and glasses, is so crude and foul-mouthed that I cringed when he was on screen.  Other than that, I enjoyed all the characters.  

[stacyasp]

😭

 

[SoMuchTV]

I’d like to talk about the ending, but I don’t want to have a whole discussion behind spoiler bars, and it seems fair to give folks some time to watch. I’ll check back in a few days. 

[ChelleGame]

3 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

I’d like to talk about the ending, but I don’t want to have a whole discussion behind spoiler bars, and it seems fair to give folks some time to watch. I’ll check back in a few days. 

Same.

I'll be waiting.

[BucFan]

I don’t know if this should be in spoilers or not. I putting it in a spoiler, just in case.

Spoiler

I notice Brandy (the best dog ever) gets gray in her face as time goes on.

I don’t know if it was real or make-up, but I thought it was brilliant. 

 

[debraran]

 

Gutted, but "life goes on" is the sentiment and I know why he chose to end it this way.

The one thing Ricky wanted fans to know, is the dog does NOT die in the show because some were afraid to watch it. He understood. He said a season 4 would be mediocre and he wants it to end on a high note. It certainly was.

Spoiler

The ending is not part of the show "proper" just the way he wanted to have them end eventually.  I was so worried about him still hurting himself, so happy he ended up as happy as he could be. I read every interview I could find to make sure. ; )

 

Edited January 16, 2022 by debraran

[ChelleGame]

I am going to miss the characters on this show. I liked dropping in on their lives, seeing how they were getting on.

[Juneau Gal]

The last two episodes of the series absolutely wrecked me; cried throughout both. Brilliant show. 

[debraran]

I read how a fan noticed the leaves, trees changing at the end to show time passing. I missed it crying but re-watched. ; _)

Edited January 17, 2022 by debraran

[Kdawg82]

I thought it was a perfect ending to a wonderful show. I finished it last night & woke this morning sort of haunted thinking about it & that's how I know it was truly impactful. 

The writing is so good in this entire series. Ricky Gervais brings up so many thoughts (I don't know about others here but..) that I have had about life in general. I loved also how he questioned his own constant teasing toward Lisa about no heaven or angels, wondering if it robbed her of something making her scared of death as she met her end eventually.  I appreciated that realization.  I'll miss the show- but immediately went back and rewatched S1 ep 1 to go back to origins after consuming season 3 and I felt good about that. I'll pop in & catch episodes here and there whenever there's nothing else on because it's just that good. 

I did miss Sandy and Roxy. Not so much the shrink. 

[ChelleGame]

I missed it somehow. Did they say what happened to Sandy?

[BusyOctober]

Just finished binging.  I am sad it’s over, but a great finale.  I really liked Anne’s definition of angels…very appropriate and true.

Gotta go get another box of tissues now…i

[Kdawg82]

2 hours ago, ChelleGame said:

missed it somehow. Did they say what happened to Sandy?

No explanation offered. Articles stated the same. I believe the actress for Sandy had other engagements with work. Pandemic delays presumably also caused filming conflicts with the Roxy actress & shrink actor too who didn't return.  Amicable terms...just didn't work out and the Roxy and Pat plotline had run its course.  

[DrSparkles]

I’m on episode 3, that date, I’m sick for her. GET UP & LEAVE!!!!!!!

[debraran]

Nice interview

 

[SHD]

I’m still going to refrain from saying anything specific so as not to ruin any storylines or jokes for anyone yet. So what I’ll say is that I think it’s lovely that this show is not just about kindness and the superpower of making other people happy, even in the smallest ways, but is also like a love letter to Ricky Gervais’s partner of 40 or so years. Lisa’s middle name on the gravestone is Jane, which is Ricky’s partner’s name. And several years ago she posted about how Ricky would draw faces on lemons and she couldn’t bear to cut them up after he did. It’s a nice extra layer of sweetness to the series to know that some things Tony loved about Lisa were taken from Ricky’s actual relationship.

[archer1267]

14 hours ago, DrSparkles said:

I’m on episode 3, that date, I’m sick for her. GET UP & LEAVE!!!!!!!

I really felt for Kath this season. Especially when she broke down in that yoga class. I was partly expecting that she would get some compassion - not get booted out.

Quote

Brian, the ugly guy with black hair and glasses, is so crude and foul-mouthed that I cringed when he was on screen.  Other than that, I enjoyed all the characters. 

WAY too much Paul for my tastes. And the stuff about feminine hygiene plays into all sorts of misogynistic crap. Which was probably the point, but still.

I don't think I'll ever hear "Both Sides Now" without crying. 

[AnnMarie17]

We binged season three yesterday.  I absolutely loved it.  Yes, I cringed at some of the characters, but to me, that's part of the charm of this show.  This community of "misfits".  

I was sobbing at the end...actual ugly cry sobbing.  So so so well done.  Bravo.

[Lunula]

I am 3 episodes in and I am not liking this season at all. Tony is acting particularly asshole’ish. I feel like he’s just mean this season… and WTF does Emma see in him anymore? 

And WAY too much crude sex crap this season. Previously, it was just the dickbag psychiatrist- but now it’s him, plus the guy delivering papers AND the guy who leads the theatre group AND the postman. It isn’t funny and it isn’t interesting. I freaking hate it. 

And where is Roxy? Where is Anne? Where is Sandy? The show isn’t the same without those relationships. Essentially there are no women Tony has a relationship with other than Emma - and he’s being a right bastard to her. Blech.

Season 3 just simply doesn’t have the heart that S1 or S2 had…

[SHD]

20 hours ago, Lunula said:

I am 3 episodes in and I am not liking this season at all. Tony is acting particularly asshole’ish. I feel like he’s just mean this season… and WTF does Emma see in him anymore? 

And WAY too much crude sex crap this season. Previously, it was just the dickbag psychiatrist- but now it’s him, plus the guy delivering papers AND the guy who leads the theatre group AND the postman. It isn’t funny and it isn’t interesting. I freaking hate it. 

And where is Roxy? Where is Anne? Where is Sandy? The show isn’t the same without those relationships. Essentially there are no women Tony has a relationship with other than Emma - and he’s being a right bastard to her. Blech.

Season 3 just simply doesn’t have the heart that S1 or S2 had…

I agree with you about some of the crudeness overload, but as for your other points, I would say keep watching.

[possibilities]

I tend to binge shows I like, but I found myself only watching one each of the first few. Then today I binged the 2nd half. It really does pick up if you stick with it.

Best use of a dog in any production, ever. They really captured what makes a dog a dog, and not just a dog fulfilling a command.

[debraran]

Nice interview on you tube with a show called "Lorraine" He had the dog with him throughout. (Ok, that's why I watched) ☺️

He also says half way in, the show was about finding hope and reason to live and I think that path he took from beginning to end was wonderful. He didn't want it too fast or rushed or unnatural. So many fans told him they saw parts of themselves, parts they thought were odd or weird but he showed the variety of emotions many go through and said what they couldn't say.

 

[Granny58]

On 1/18/2022 at 9:03 PM, Lunula said:

I am 3 episodes in and I am not liking this season at all. Tony is acting particularly asshole’ish. I feel like he’s just mean this season… and WTF does Emma see in him anymore? 

And WAY too much crude sex crap this season. Previously, it was just the dickbag psychiatrist- but now it’s him, plus the guy delivering papers AND the guy who leads the theatre group AND the postman. It isn’t funny and it isn’t interesting. I freaking hate it. 

And where is Roxy? Where is Anne? Where is Sandy? The show isn’t the same without those relationships. Essentially there are no women Tony has a relationship with other than Emma - and he’s being a right bastard to her. Blech.

Season 3 just simply doesn’t have the heart that S1 or S2 had…

Yes, I agree about how crude it was.  I actually stopped it for a moment and told my husband "Ricky Gervais is better than this."  He has a brilliant mind and this was not up to his level.  However....keep going.  Trust me.  Have tissues ready for the final scene.  

[truebluesmoky]

I can’t believe they made me care enough about…

Spoiler

Kath that I started sobbing when she asked if she could take the dog home… then sobbing harder when the postman picked up the thing she dropped.

 

[MicheleinPhilly]

I limited myself to 2 episodes a day so I wouldn't blow through the whole season in an afternoon. I also don't know if my heart would have been able to take any more than that. By the end I was a sobbing, hiccuping, hyperventilating mess. 

Bravo, Ricky. BRAVO. 

[Juneau Gal]

After I finished season three I went back and rewatched the first two seasons because I had forgotten some of the character dynamics. It was interesting to see characters who had briefly shown up in past seasons, pop up in this one. The girl who replaced Sandy was stocking a grocery shelf in a past episode and the disgusting Power Bros, or whatever they called themselves, were the psychologist’s drinking buddies.
As much as I loved this show initially, and was moved to sobs the last two episodes of the series, revisiting the prior seasons, and most of this season, didn’t hold up for me. I found myself thinking, often, “Why did I love this so much the first time around?” I can only think that after two years in a pandemic and so much loss for everyone, I am less patient with Tony’s endless grief and unawareness that others are dealing with shitty things too.  

[Meredith Quill]

1 hour ago, Juneau Gal said:

As much as I loved this show initially, and was moved to sobs the last two episodes of the series, revisiting the prior seasons, and most of this season, didn’t hold up for me. I found myself thinking, often, “Why did I love this so much the first time around?” I can only think that after two years in a pandemic and so much loss for everyone, I am less patient with Tony’s endless grief and unawareness that others are dealing with shitty things too.  

That's a rather harsh stance but you're entitled to your view. For me, this is a story about a specific circumstance of loss and how that one particular person deals with that loss, whether anyone else 'approves' (in show and out) of how they handle it or not. Some people are selfish in their loss and grief, and grieving for some does make them less attuned to those around them, I don't judge them for that. Having experienced grief myself at a young age, I have somewhat of an understanding why that can happen; when all of your energy goes into just getting from one day to another and coping with devastating mental anguish, being considerate of others is next to impossible for some of us. Some may get through that more quickly than others.

What's the saying? "We all grieve differently". However, that doesn't impact on anyone else's experience, indeed, anyone else who's experienced loss, particularly in the same circumstances as Tony's (the loss of a significant other and consequently feeling completely alone, aka you vs the world), is also free to express that grief (or for that matter any other issues they're dealing with) in whatever way they want/need to, regardless of how many others within the world who have gone or are going through the same. That's not to say that there couldn't be consequences of course, depending on the behaviour and actions taken.

Life, it's a funny old game.

[Juneau Gal]

44 minutes ago, SilverStormm said:

That's a rather harsh stance but you're entitled to your view. For me, this is a story about a specific circumstance of loss and how that one particular person deals with that loss, whether anyone else 'approves' (in show and out) of how they handle it or not. Some people are selfish in their loss and grief, and grieving for some does make them less attuned to those around them, I don't judge them for that. Having experienced grief myself at a young age, I have somewhat of an understanding why that can happen; when all of your energy goes into just getting from one day to another and coping with devastating mental anguish, being considerate of others is next to impossible for some of us. Some may get through that more quickly than others.

What's the saying? "We all grieve differently". However, that doesn't impact on anyone else's experience, indeed, anyone else who's experienced loss, particularly in the same circumstances as Tony's (the loss of a significant other and consequently feeling completely alone, aka you vs the world), is also free to express that grief (or for that matter any other issues they're dealing with) in whatever way they want/need to, regardless of how many others within the world who have gone or are going through the same. That's not to say that there couldn't be consequences of course, depending on the behaviour and actions taken.

Life, it's a funny old game.

You entirely misread or interpreted through your own lens what I wrote. There was nothing harsh about it; I was merely stating how the show now sat with me. 

[possibilities]

The idea that a person's pain entitles them to be shitty to other people is not something I agree with. I found Tony to be incredibly obnoxious and was astonished that so many people put up with him. I don't really think that enabling people in abusive behaviors is to their or anyone else's benefit. And in fact he only started to feel better once people started kicking his ass a bit and holding him accountable, pushing him, and he started to see consequences.

It's possible to understand someone's pain without indulging their crap behaviors. I think the world would be a much better place if people did more of that and less of making excuses. What made me stick with the show for what was ultimately a very satisfying pay off, was that people did react to Tony in ways that showed how hurtful he was and they didn't glorify his abusiveness. 

I think there is an element of wish fulfillment sometimes, where a show will glorify terrible behavior kind of as a way to justify it, and I don't enjoy that. I also think sometimes it's meant to be cathartic, as in: "I wish I could say/do that, because that's how I feel... and isn't it liberating to imagine a world where I could be a total piece of shit and get away with it!?" I thought this show came very close to the line, because it was showing Tony was miserable and a dysfunctional alcoholic mess, but they wanted us to also think he was harmless and had a heart of gold. They never gave us any reason to understand why Lisa loved him so much, they only really showed him being a dick to her. So I do wonder whether she was just a long suffering co-dependent, or what that was all about. 

What made it worthwhile was that it did show the grieving, and they did have him increasingly improve his behavior and open up his heart more to the suffering and value of others. His recovery came from softening, and he was able to snap out of it once people started to confront him and demand more from him. 

[Meredith Quill]

2 hours ago, possibilities said:

The idea that a person's pain entitles them to be shitty to other people is not something I agree with. I found Tony to be incredibly obnoxious and was astonished that so many people put up with him. I don't really think that enabling people in abusive behaviors is to their or anyone else's benefit. And in fact he only started to feel better once people started kicking his ass a bit and holding him accountable, pushing him, and he started to see consequences.

It's possible to understand someone's pain without indulging their crap behaviors. I think the world would be a much better place if people did more of that and less of making excuses. What made me stick with the show for what was ultimately a very satisfying pay off, was that people did react to Tony in ways that showed how hurtful he was and they didn't glorify his abusiveness. 

I think there is an element of wish fulfillment sometimes, where a show will glorify terrible behavior kind of as a way to justify it, and I don't enjoy that. I also think sometimes it's meant to be cathartic, as in: "I wish I could say/do that, because that's how I feel... and isn't it liberating to imagine a world where I could be a total piece of shit and get away with it!?" I thought this show came very close to the line, because it was showing Tony was miserable and a dysfunctional alcoholic mess, but they wanted us to also think he was harmless and had a heart of gold. They never gave us any reason to understand why Lisa loved him so much, they only really showed him being a dick to her. So I do wonder whether she was just a long suffering co-dependent, or what that was all about. 

What made it worthwhile was that it did show the grieving, and they did have him increasingly improve his behavior and open up his heart more to the suffering and value of others. His recovery came from softening, and he was able to snap out of it once people started to confront him and demand more from him. 

There may be something lost in translation here re Tony/Lisa. British culture = we often playfully insult those we love but we're terribly polite to those we think are dicks and those who we don't know, generally speaking. Therefore, his relationship looked perfectly fine to my English eyes - it was clearly demonstrated that she didn't mind it one bit. What I will say is that she was written as being extremely tolerant of being teased and pranked - not something I'd personally enjoy a constant stream of but a little here and there is fine with me and I give as good as I get, heh.

And fwiw I wasn't advocating entitlement, only understanding the reasoning behind why someone may lash out or behave poorly when grieving and allowing some leeway for that, where anyone draws the line is a personal choice of course. As I said, one's behaviour and actions can (and do) have consequences in the real world.

[debraran]

Ricky said in interview "

Speaking about how Tony eventually comes to rediscover his humanity, he explained: "And at the beginning, it's funny and he can't stand this banality but that saves his life because he starts getting back into society. Life is doing stuff. That's all it is. It's doing stuff.

"The other message, of course, is to be kind to the vulnerable, and it showed that Tony wasn't a psychopath. Even though he's trying to lash out and hurt everyone, he was kind to his dog, he was kind to his nephew, he was kind to the new girl, he was kind of the old lady in the graveyard because he had empathy and he couldn't change that, he couldn't pretend not to have it."

Re crudeness, I'm not a fan of it, but my daughter having an English boyfriend and seeing different humor over the years, it is different in UK. I felt the show with the bad jokes (to me) a little less would have made it more likable to some. It just seemed a little too much at times, any saturation usually is. Watching Tony change though, his interactions with others like his friend and wife, coworkers, was worth it.

 

[Kdawg82]

RE: Grief

IDK how Ricky researched widowhood or where he drew inspiration for his character but I felt so much of this character. In terms of the way he described living two lives...one where you're getting on with life & things are almost normal then the second one where you realize the person you love is dead and not coming back and it sort of hits you like a ton of bricks....wow. I mean, I really respect a lot of the writing for dialogue and the emotions.

[Meredith Quill]

14 minutes ago, Kdawg82 said:

RE: Grief

IDK how Ricky researched widowhood or where he drew inspiration for his character but I felt so much of this character. In terms of the way he described living two lives...one where you're getting on with life & things are almost normal then the second one where you realize the person you love is dead and not coming back and it sort of hits you like a ton of bricks....wow. I mean, I really respect a lot of the writing for dialogue and the emotions.

I can absolutely relate to that cognitive dissonance. Having lost my beloved father at just turned age 13, I vividly recall many a time where I'd be walking home from school and everything seemed normal, then the sudden realisation not only that he wouldn't be there (he was unwell for quite a while at home) but also, that I'd never ever see him again - it was awful, almost an unbearable notion to cope with. It was like a healing wound being re-opened all over again, repeatedly. So yeah, I totally get it.

[Dobian]

On 1/16/2022 at 5:42 PM, ChelleGame said:

I am going to miss the characters on this show. I liked dropping in on their lives, seeing how they were getting on.

Same.  I loved each and every character because Gervais showed how much he loved each and every character.  You liked and cared for them all.  Similar characters like Brian, James, and Lenny are often mocked and belittled for cheap laughs on other shows, but on After Life you want to be their friends.  I will miss this show, which ended far too soon.  Yet it also ended at the perfect moment.  One of the most beautiful shows I have ever seen.

Edited January 22, 2022 by Dobian

[ChelleGame]

22 hours ago, Dobian said:

Same.  I loved each and every character because Gervais showed how much he loved each and every character.  You liked and cared for them all.  Similar characters like Brian, James, and Lenny are often mocked and belittled for cheap laughs on other shows, but on After Life you want to be their friends.  I will miss this show, which ended far too soon.  Yet it also ended at the perfect moment.  One of the most beautiful shows I have ever seen.

Such a beautiful, messy depiction of grief.  When we lost our parents, my sister said, "This changes all your molecules, doesn't it?"

It did.

You're just different and grief just has it's way with you. My mother has been gone 15 years and last October I was working in the garden and burst into ugly sobs out of nowhere. I wasn't sad at that moment, it just came out of nowhere and  and shook me like a rag doll.

I really wish this show hadn't ended because it's so wonderful but I get going out on a high note. 

I watched Season One of this back to back with Fleabag and  Kominsky Method.  All three were such different journeys into grief and I loved each of them for different reasons.

Edited January 23, 2022 by ChelleGame

[shipmate]

I can’t explain why this show affected me so much. That one by one disappearing at the end has had me bawling for 30 minutes straight. The symbolism…..

Not to mention, the scene with Kath at yoga talking about how she’s lonely (and then how she was told to leave), and then the discussion on the bench about how we can be angels when we’re alive…. Man, oh man, talk about a gift for touching the audience emotionally….

[ChelleGame]

3 hours ago, shipmate said:

I can’t explain why this show affected me so much. That one by one disappearing at the end has had me bawling for 30 minutes straight. The symbolism…..

Not to mention, the scene with Kath at yoga talking about how she’s lonely (and then how she was told to leave), and then the discussion on the bench about how we can be angels when we’re alive…. Man, oh man, talk about a gift for touching the audience emotionally….

This just made me cry again.  All of it.

I was so shocked that they made Kath leave that class. I wasn't expecting that. It would hard to see someone in that kind of distress and reject them. I was surprised by the lack of compassion in that moment.  But it also made my heart hurt even more for her. I was glad she dropped that envelope / paper...

[MicheleinPhilly]

18 hours ago, ChelleGame said:

This just made me cry again.  All of it.

I was so shocked that they made Kath leave that class. I wasn't expecting that. It would hard to see someone in that kind of distress and reject them. I was surprised by the lack of compassion in that moment.  But it also made my heart hurt even more for her. I was glad she dropped that envelope / paper...

I kept waiting for someone in the yoga class to follow her out and attempt to comfort her. When no one did, I was shattered. Her entire arc this season just broke my heart. 

[possibilities]

1 hour ago, MicheleinPhilly said:

I kept waiting for someone in the yoga class to follow her out and attempt to comfort her. When no one did, I was shattered. Her entire arc this season just broke my heart. 

I agree. But it's not the first time I've seen a group of people defend their bubble and reject someone who joins them and doesn't fit in. Often the veneer of compassion is very thin to non-existent, and not only among people doing "laughter yoga". Sad. 

[chediavolo]

This show was incredibly thoughtful & touching. Gross humor aside. Ricky is a genius. Having lost family (early) & friends & living with dept, this is a hard one to shake. Unfortunately it only reinforces, to me,  that life is a kind of hell where we have to endure lived ones deaths & the constant reminder that we are going to die someday. That there is no God or Heaven & WTF is the actual point of our little lives. It’s a cruel joke only who is performing it? I was shattered that Tony kept drinking, never found another partner, etc. I an so sad right now😢. And fuck those shitheads  in the yoga class. A good example of make believe new agey false compassion .

[Dobian]

On 1/24/2022 at 10:24 AM, MicheleinPhilly said:

I kept waiting for someone in the yoga class to follow her out and attempt to comfort her. When no one did, I was shattered. Her entire arc this season just broke my heart. 

If I was in that class I would have torn every one of them a new a$$hole.

Edited January 26, 2022 by Dobian

[Ottis]

So it has been long enough to talk openly, yeah? Maybe not.

Well, just the conclusion, then. I had to search online for other perspectives to what happened at the end. I actually had noticed the trees changing during the shot as Tony, Lisa and the dog walked away, and then each disappeared. But ... so what?

Spoiler

That could have symbolized time passing after they were all gone, Tony having chosen to kill himself (and hopefully the dog dying of natural causes). I spend the whole last 2 episodes feeling like Tony had finally arrived at the conclusion that he couldn't make it in the world after Lisa, then giving away money, and expected to see it end badly. Instead, according to Gervais, Tony just "kept on" in life? I did not get that from the last scene. Were the prior scenes of Tony with each of his friends supposed to be happening over later years? Some looked more like couples, a bit, though it wasn't conclusive. The fair kept happening, and Tony kept attending it?

Anyway, I thought the series and Gervais were fantastic, but the end was lacking. A minor realization that kindness was meaningful, but that was almost like a weird add on and then Tony goes right back to being sad. It was lots and lots of touching moping and sadness and trying to deal with loss, and then ... nothing.

 

 

[cynicat]

I was already sobbing at the end as well, and if the dog had died during the series I would have completely lost it.

[raven]

On 1/25/2022 at 6:39 AM, chediavolo said:

And fuck those shitheads  in the yoga class.

For sure.  It was a real bait and switch, because of course I was thinking the yoga instructor was moving forward to comfort her, not ask her to leave!  Wow. 

I watched the final episode twice and cried both times, even knowing what was going to happen.

What I took from the ending was Tony accepting that he'd never have the same happiness that he had with Lisa but he could still have a good life.  In Lisa's last video, where she reads the poem, she encourages Tony to be himself - the person she fell in love with, who was, presumably, thoughtful and kind.  He was losing those qualities because of bitterness over his situation.   He realized that by being present in life, in a non-nasty way, was fulfilling and he kept on through the years (the passing of time that we see).  He's not a perfect man but a better one than what we saw in S1.  

On 1/22/2022 at 3:21 PM, Dobian said:

I will miss this show, which ended far too soon.  Yet it also ended at the perfect moment.  One of the most beautiful shows I have ever seen.

I didn't know really what to expect from this show but in the end, I agree with these sentiments.   The writing (though alot of British humor I will never get!) and the acting were first rate.  The finale was perfect.