S07.E01: My 234-lb Life

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Jazz took a leave of absence form Harvard in order to focus on her mental health.  Now she finally hopes to return but must find a job to prove she's ready. Also, with Sander's help, she hatches a plan to lose weight after gaining almost 100 pounds. 

Original air date 2021.11.30

This is the perfect time to refresh your memory of the Master Mod Note for the IAJ forum and the LGBTQ Language and GLAAD Reference Guide.

[PupCal]

I would be so pissed off if Jazz was in one of my doctor's appointments. She's an intern; she has no medical training, she was just filling gift bags a few minutes ago!

[jacksgirl]

I totally support Jazz in her "journey" (kind of hate that term,  but cannot think of a better one) for gender reassignment. I think she has no regrets and now lives in the body she was always meant to. That being said, is it possible that all of the stress of surgeries, appointments, testing, hormone blockers, etc have contributed to her depression and anxiety? It's dumb not to keep all reasonable explanations on the table. I wish Jazz well, and it's time to turn off the cameras and let her navigate young adulthood more quietly. 

[missnoa]

I have to say, I know the show has expanded to be like more about the whole family but that scene where all these women went and drew a male  model was a complete waste of my life I'll never get back. It wasn't funny or charming or anything else, it was just dumb and pointless. Also not a fan of Jeanette going after another trans woman for daring to question things, like Jeanette just because you have a trans daughter doesn't mean you actually know how trans people feel and the way Jazz was raised isn't the only one way to do it and other trans people have the right to question that. (Especially since even Dr Bowers has raised questions about whether it's the best thing for kids to be suppressed like Jazz was).

Also I do not care about Sander's dating life and what sounds like it could be a fetish.

Edited December 1, 2021 by missnoa

[FurBabyMama]

I felt really uncomfortable watching this. It’s clear that she’s really struggling with stuff, and I think she just needs to turn the cameras off, get off social media and just live her life. She doesn’t need to be the model spokesperson for trans people. She should just go about her business and live her life. I have a coworker who is a transwoman (came out about 2-3 years ago), and she is just going about her business living her life. I think some privacy is what she really needs. 
 

Jeanette continues to bother me, she gives off this vibe that they did things correctly and that’s the end of the discussion. I’m sure they did what they thought was the best at the time, though they really were in uncharted territory. But just because their journey was one way doesn’t mean that’s the right journey for everyone. 

[JeanJean]

3 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

I totally support Jazz in her "journey" (kind of hate that term,  but cannot think of a better one) for gender reassignment. I think she has no regrets and now lives in the body she was always meant to. That being said, is it possible that all of the stress of surgeries, appointments, testing, hormone blockers, etc have contributed to her depression and anxiety? It's dumb not to keep all reasonable explanations on the table. I wish Jazz well, and it's time to turn off the cameras and let her navigate young adulthood more quietly. 

I think also separation anxiety on going away to school could be taken into account. 

3 hours ago, PupCal said:

I would be so pissed off if Jazz was in one of my doctor's appointments. She's an intern; she has no medical training, she was just filling gift bags a few minutes ago!

I don't think she meant "intern" in a medical sense; it's a common term for a younger person working in an office (publishing for instance) for free.

[princelina]

Ugh, this family is so bizarre.  The thought of going to a nude man drawing class with one of my grandmas, when they were alive, or my own mother who is now 77, makes me cringe.  I rarely stop watching a show I'm into so I doubt I'll stop watching this, but the thought of having to watch Sander (I think) date 2 different trans women while his mom and grandma speculate about his sex life is even worse. I can only hope that he merely caught the famewhore gene from his mom.  Finally - if your main reason for doing something for your children is that "otherwise they'll kill themselves" - please don't act surprised when "mental health issues" lay themselves on the table.  

Of course I'm not actually surprised by their creepy behavior (for the most part - I guess I am surprised that Sander wants this kind of public attention so badly!). But Jazz has to jump through all of those hoops to go back to Harvard?  I didn't realize she ever went in the first place.  Is it because she left on some kind of "mental health leave" or because she's famous and they don't want to be responsible for making her happy lest she kill herself?  Or for tv reasons - suddenly some doctor is dying to have her "intern" in her office where she can sit around and make chit chat with any trans person who wants to be on tv?  Doesn't pass the smell test for me.

Also - I too weigh 234 pounds.  (Actually 233 😁 ). I freely admit it's because I love overeating, especially when junk food is involved.  But fast food, plus doughnuts, plus a couple of bagels for breakfast?  Every day? (Or a "typical" breakfast?  While you are living in your parents' home?) That's a 600 lb life type of breakfast.  Reminds me of Fat Monica on Friends always having a kitkat in her pocket - it's just not how real people get fat.  I sense that this wacko family has a new "life lesson" to teach us and I'm not here for it, especially if they're lying about how their fat troubles began. 😡

Edited December 1, 2021 by princelina

[missnoa]

The Harvard student handbook seems to back up that if you take a leave of absence, before they allow you to come back you have to prove to them that you resolved the issues that led to your LOA:

Quote

A student who has been granted a “leave of absence — late in the term” or a “leave of absence — on probation” must petition the Administrative Board for permission to register and must demonstrate that the circumstances that led to their leave have been satisfactorily addressed and that they are ready to resume their studies. The decision to allow a student to return is made by the Administrative Board. If the leave, whether voluntary or involuntary, was for medical reasons, then the student must petition the Administrative Board for permission to register and must demonstrate that the circumstances that led to their leave have been satisfactorily addressed and that they are ready to resume their studies. In addition, so that the College may conduct an individualized assessment of their circumstances, students on medical leave ordinarily will be required to consult with Harvard University Health Services so that a professional assessment about the student’s stability and readiness to return can be shared with the College, including the student’s participation and progress with appropriate health care providers during their time away. Evidence of stability must include a written statement describing how the student’s time away has been spent and often includes a substantial period of regular employment at a non-academic job and a suitable letter of recommendation from the employer or employment supervisor. 

Makes sense, they want to make sure that whatever caused someone to drop out has been dealt with so the student doesn't just end up having to take another LOA anyway because the issue isn't resolved or maybe the issue was resolved but they still can't handle a full course load and need to work up to it.

Edited December 1, 2021 by missnoa

[Scarlett45]

5 hours ago, princelina said:

Also - I too weigh 234 pounds.  (Actually 233 😁 ). I freely admit it's because I love overeating, especially when junk food is involved.  But fast food, plus doughnuts, plus a couple of bagels for breakfast?  Every day? (Or a "typical" breakfast?  While you are living in your parents' home?) That's a 600 lb life type of breakfast.  Reminds me of Fat Monica on Friends always having a kitkat in her pocket - it's just not how real people get fat.  I sense that this wacko family has a new "life lesson" to teach us and I'm not here for it, especially if they're lying about how their fat troubles began. 😡

As a fellow fat person, I’ve observed that there are a lot of ways for people to end up in a calorie surplus and get fat. Some of us have always loved eating, have large appetites and hate exercise (were likely fat kids but our weight gain was slow and steady adult weight is stable- if we do lose weight is slowly and steadily, like me); others of us will be thin and gain large amounts rapidly, I’m not a professional but that indicates binging to me.

Binge eating is an entire different medical/emotional ball game than eating an extra 300 calories a day for a few years and gaining 100lbs as you live your life. Losing weight is a PITA, but if Jazz could gain it that quickly maybe will be able to lose it quickly. Wishing her the best of luck. 

[Granny58]

As much as this entire family irks me, (grandma didn't know where to put her eyes! LOL) I do feel bad that Jazz has gained this weight.  Weight loss is hard.  Hope Jazz does well.

[janey99]

Ugh, I am so angry after watching that!  Not one person in the family is capable of self-reflection or self awareness.

Jeannette, with her middle school reaction to the Youtuber questioning the root of Jazz's mental health issues.  (and as an aside - who was that woman who showed her the video?  Running in with the phone like a 12 yo sharing a snap before it disappears?  Do these people trawl the internet for things to be outraged about?)  Let's all put on our supportive Tshirts and challenge a complete stranger who probably has more in common with Jazz than members of her own family.  Let's not consider for one minute the validity of anything this person or any other challenger is saying, because we have designed and structured our family's entire existence around the "she would be DEAD!" trope.

Grandma and Grandpa, with their creepy sexualization of absolutely everything.  Again, part of the family's brand and identity.  Penis lollipops, naked male models, too many double entendre comments to count.  Blechh.

Jazz herself, who is apparently a "valedictorian" who is a "perfectionist" who "got into" Harvard.  Her entire persona is invented and/or consists of features which are portrayed as achievements and elections which she has selected but which are really immutable characteristics or circumstances which she has fallen into as a result of being a "celebrity."  No wonder her mental health is a mess.  Everyone around her constantly tells her she is a star.  She is expected to do more "great things" when she really hasn't done any great things to begin with.  She is built on a foundation of froth.  As she is expected to move into the real world with actual metrics and expectations that everyone else is also subjected to, she cannot cope.  She has had no experience in being held to any standards or judged in any way.  AND, rather than realize this as her admission to Harvard falls to pieces, those around her continue to patronize her and coddle her in bubble wrap.  Does anyone really think that a fake internship in a doctor's office where she offers nothing more than representation is good for her mental state?  Stuffing goodie bags is volunteer work that cub scouts do!  Jazz is not a dumb person, she must realize this.  They infantilize her and then lament "why is she not maturing . . . . . ??!!"

Don't even get me started on weirdo Xander.

This show needs to end, and Jazz needs to extract herself from her extremely unhealthy relationship with her mother, whose whole existence is based on maintaining the validity and integrity of decision she made about Jazz's health when the child was ten.  How can Jazz herself fully explore the root of her mental health issues when Jeannette has declared a huge chunk of her past off limits and not up for examination and discussion just so she can keep herself convinced that every decision she ever made was right?

[jacksgirl]

9 hours ago, FurBabyMama said:

I felt really uncomfortable watching this. It’s clear that she’s really struggling with stuff, and I think she just needs to turn the cameras off, get off social media and just live her life. She doesn’t need to be the model spokesperson for trans people. She should just go about her business and live her life. I have a coworker who is a transwoman (came out about 2-3 years ago), and she is just going about her business living her life. I think some privacy is what she really needs. 
 

Jeanette continues to bother me, she gives off this vibe that they did things correctly and that’s the end of the discussion. I’m sure they did what they thought was the best at the time, though they really were in uncharted territory. But just because their journey was one way doesn’t mean that’s the right journey for everyone. 

Yes, yes, yes. They made the best decisions about Jazz and the puberty blockers with what was KNOWN AT THE TIME. As time goes on and there is more information about all of this, it may be that research indicates a better way. Jeanette needs a job  or something so she is not so enmeshed with Jazz. She needs to find something of her own.

[janey99]

10 minutes ago, jacksgirl said:

Yes, yes, yes. They made the best decisions about Jazz and the puberty blockers with what was KNOWN AT THE TIME. As time goes on and there is more information about all of this, it may be that research indicates a better way. Jeanette needs a job  or something so she is not so enmeshed with Jazz. She needs to find something of her own.

This was never more apparent than when Jazz was in the examining room with the other teen (young twenty-something?) at the new plastic surgeon's office.  When he said "yeah, I'm glad I waited for advances in the technology, look how great my chest looks!"  the long awkward silence right after that was super telling!

[Scarlett45]

12 minutes ago, jacksgirl said:

Yes, yes, yes. They made the best decisions about Jazz and the puberty blockers with what was KNOWN AT THE TIME. As time goes on and there is more information about all of this, it may be that research indicates a better way. Jeanette needs a job  or something so she is not so enmeshed with Jazz. She needs to find something of her own.

I agree Jeanette needs something separate than being Jazz’s mom. I have seen this type of behavior in the disability space- the parent (usually the mother) spends so much of their time tending to their child with a disability that’s their ONLY identity and they struggle being a well rounded person. I’m glad my own Mom never had that problem but she was a doctor and 40 when my sister was born she so got a lot of her identity from that. 
 

Jazz isn’t disabled but Jeanette has put so much of her effort into caring for this child with “different needs” she doesn’t have anything else. It’s like in typical situations when a Stay At Home Parent’s child grows up, or the elderly parent has died and their primary caregiver now has to find a new rhythm of life- but times 100. 

[jacksgirl]

18 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I agree Jeanette needs something separate than being Jazz’s mom. I have seen this type of behavior in the disability space- the parent (usually the mother) spends so much of their time tending to their child with a disability that’s their ONLY identity and they struggle being a well rounded person. I’m glad my own Mom never had that problem but she was a doctor and 40 when my sister was born she so got a lot of her identity from that. 
 

Jazz isn’t disabled but Jeanette has put so much of her effort into caring for this child with “different needs” she doesn’t have anything else. It’s like in typical situations when a Stay At Home Parent’s child grows up, or the elderly parent has died and their primary caregiver now has to find a new rhythm of life- but times 100. 

And this should be so exciting for Jeanette. They seem to have plenty of money, so her potential income isn't a factor. Volunteer at a hospital or Meals on Wheels, tutor at a school, take college courses. Do something for you Jeanette. 

[Twopper]

1 hour ago, jacksgirl said:

And this should be so exciting for Jeanette. They seem to have plenty of money, so her potential income isn't a factor. Volunteer at a hospital or Meals on Wheels, tutor at a school, take college courses. Do something for you Jeanette. 

She won't.  She is too invested in being THE SPOKESMOM for trans children, teens, and young adults.

 

8 hours ago, princelina said:

Ugh, this family is so bizarre.  The thought of going to a nude man drawing class with one of my grandmas, when they were alive, or my own mother who is now 77, makes me cringe.  I rarely stop watching a show I'm into so I doubt I'll stop watching this, but the thought of having to watch Sander (I think) date 2 different trans women while his mom and grandma speculate about his sex life is even worse. I can only hope that he merely caught the famewhore gene from his mom.  Finally - if your main reason for doing something for your children is that "otherwise they'll kill themselves" - please don't act surprised when "mental health issues" lay themselves on the table.  

Eww! gross!  I regret now even recording this show because it will count in the ratings even if I erase it.  This episode sounds worse than I imagined.  Also if I were trans and had watched this show, the last person I would want to encounter at the doctor's office would be Jazz or her mom.

They live in Florida and have a pool.   Jazz could swim twice a day for an hour each time, and she would improve her physical health and probably her mental health as well.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

The nude model session has become a reality show standard.  It's always women with an attractive male model.  Then we get to see them titter about seeing a penis.  It is like they are all suddenly twelve.  It is such a waste of time.  If Jeannette needs a fun time out, I am sure there are many better things they can do.  But reality TV loves this one.  

The Ts Madison chat was another TV setup.  Ts Madison has a new show on WETV.  It allows the channels to do some crossover advertising of the different shows. I can agree that she may not understand Jazz's issues; however, Jazz is now an adult and should speak to her herself.  In fact, and I know this goes against every standard of reality TV, they could talk one on one like normal people. 

From the bit we were shown, the question from the audience they chose to present was terrible.  IMHO, a talk show host should not go for blood like that.  I am sure they had plenty of questions they could have chosen that would have been direct, were not blowing smoke up Jeanette's ass, but were still addressing the issue headon. Just more cheap theatrics.

I can do with a lot less Sander dates transgender women.  In fact, none of it would be great.  If he met someone organically that he was attracted to, that would be fine.  This looks like he is seeking out transgender women willing to be featured on the show.  His brother and older sister are moving on with adult lives.  He is stuck in the past, trying to suckle on the reality TV teat. 

[all4mom2]

3 hours ago, janey99 said:

This show needs to end, and Jazz needs to extract herself from her extremely unhealthy relationship with her mother, whose whole existence is based on maintaining the validity and integrity of decision she made about Jazz's health when the child was ten.

Agree with your entire post except...it was when the child was TWO.

[Yokosmom]

I've looked at a few videos from students and alumni from Harvard and what it is like to go to that school.  It is a real pressure-cooker, and it's competitive to even get into the different clubs on campus.  It doesn't seem like a good fit for Jazz, who suffers from anxiety and depression.  Pomona might have been a better choice.   Jazz could use Noom or Weight Watchers or some other program to help her with the weight loss as it is very hard to do on your own. Back to the episode, I too wonder why Jazz doesn't use the pool more.  Much easier on her joints.  Could it bother her bottom surgery area due to chlorine, etc?  Jeannette should realize that the internet is filled with people who, uh, question her parenting choices re Jazz, whether she likes it or not.  The internet host's assumption is a common one. Don't get me started on Sander.  Every comment he makes comes out like a PSA and very fake.  Not looking forward to the dating episode(s).  And yes, everyone in this family seems to act inappropriately, though I truly don't know how much of that is genuine, and how much is just for the cameras.

[all4mom2]

33 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

The nude model session has become a reality show standard.  It's always women with an attractive male model.  Then we get to see them titter about seeing a penis.  It is like they are all suddenly twelve.  It is such a waste of time.  If Jeannette needs a fun time out, I am sure there are many better things they can do.  But reality TV loves this one.  

Actually, this is probably Jeanette-driven.  In the last season (now two years ago?), she was shown "relaxing" by drinking great quantities of alcohol, saying "I like to drink fast so I get drunk fast."  She also chose to take her mother, daughter Ari, and another trans mom to a stripper joint where they were grinded up and, again, soaked themselves in booze.  That was Jeanette "doing something for herself."

[SunnyBeBe]

I still get the idea that Jeanette believes that she can control Jazz’s diet, schedule, mental health status, etc.  it’s just unfortunate.  Some people experience depression and anxiety for no known reason.  They just do.  Controlling their life won’t fix that.  For all the parents’ resources….I still don’t see a realistic way to approach Jazz’s conditions, which is to stop controlling her.  If she doesn’t do well, there are professionals, peer groups, etc she can rely on.  Can’t she live elsewhere?  She should make enough money from TLC to afford a modest apartment until she moves to her dorm.  

[JeanJean]

3 hours ago, janey99 said:

Jazz herself, who is apparently a "valedictorian" who is a "perfectionist" who "got into" Harvard.  Her entire persona is invented and/or consists of features which are portrayed as achievements and elections which she has selected but which are really immutable characteristics or circumstances which she has fallen into as a result of being a "celebrity."  No wonder her mental health is a mess.  Everyone around her constantly tells her she is a star.  She is expected to do more "great things" when she really hasn't done any great things to begin with.  She is built on a foundation of froth.  As she is expected to move into the real world with actual metrics and expectations that everyone else is also subjected to, she cannot cope.  She has had no experience in being held to any standards or judged in any way.  AND, rather than realize this as her admission to Harvard falls to pieces, those around her continue to patronize her and coddle her in bubble wrap.  Does anyone really think that a fake internship in a doctor's office where she offers nothing more than representation is good for her mental state?  Stuffing goodie bags is volunteer work that cub scouts do!  Jazz is not a dumb person, she must realize this.  They infantilize her and then lament "why is she not maturing . . . . . ??!!"

 

Jeannette (I think) brought up the stage show that had some glitches. I remember watching that episode and thinking, "Someone needs to tell this kid that some things usually go wrong in live performance. That's part of what make them exciting - and things going wrong make better and funnier stories than everything going perfectly (which it probably never does).

[chediavolo]

I realize this is Florida but even so, no masks worn in the medical facility?! And even in normal times without there being a pandemic, the doctor usually wears a mask when he/she is doing a gynecological exam. 
 

[yankeefan]

57 minutes ago, Yokosmom said:

I've looked at a few videos from students and alumni from Harvard and what it is like to go to that school.  It is a real pressure-cooker, and it's competitive to even get into the different clubs on campus.  It doesn't seem like a good fit for Jazz, who suffers from anxiety and depression.  Pomona might have been a better choice.   Jazz could use Noom or Weight Watchers or some other program to help her with the weight loss as it is very hard to do on your own. Back to the episode, I too wonder why Jazz doesn't use the pool more.  Much easier on her joints.  Could it bother her bottom surgery area due to chlorine, etc?  Jeannette should realize that the internet is filled with people who, uh, question her parenting choices re Jazz, whether she likes it or not.  The internet host's assumption is a common one. Don't get me started on Sander.  Every comment he makes comes out like a PSA and very fake.  

Wasn't Sander the one who said something early on about not getting enough attention because everyone was focused on Jazz?  It's sad he didn't get the attention he deserved, the attention all kids deserve.

[Granny58]

3 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Some people experience depression and anxiety for no known reason.  

Amen to that. 

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Quote

I would be so pissed off if Jazz was in one of my doctor's appointments. She's an intern; she has no medical training, she was just filling gift bags a few minutes ago!

For the record, I checked where that doctor's office was. It's in Coral Gables, near University of Miami which is probably an hours' drive from the Jennings household during non-rush hour traffic (I live in the general area where they live, I'm not a crazy stalker).  So her "working there" was obviously a ploy for the show.  And the doctor's website lists all kinds of requirements for their transgender patients including counseling so I seriously doubt Jazz was going to come in and teach this young person anything new. 

 

Quote

I realize this is Florida but even so, no masks worn in the medical facility?! And even in normal times without there being a pandemic, the doctor usually wears a mask when he/she is doing a gynecological exam. 

At the current time, all medical facilities here in South Florida have required masks since March of 2020.  Most of them take your temperature as well.  If you're at the local grocery store, they aren't required. 

What was Jazz doing when she decided to postpone Harvard? I understand she was struggling with mental/emotional issues, but couldn't she take a few classes at a local college online and transfer them when she was able to go there?  And during the lockdown, was she just sitting in the house staring at the four walls? During the Great Lockdown of March 2020 here, I would see neighbors walking around my neighborhood with their kids, pushing strollers and riding bikes. I would see people sitting in their driveways (always separated by more than six feet) just visiting with each other. Nobody was getting arrested or harassed for these actions.  We all just figured out how to cope (and if Jazz wasn't able to cope, why wasn't her overly attached mother flipping Jazz off the mattress and getting her out of bed to at least sit outside in the sunshine or do some writing or counseling). 

Meanwhile IMHO Jeanette continues to be too invested in her daughter's medical conditions.  It was like her "magic vagina" had finally arrived, while the rest of her was falling apart.  Jazz is an adult now and she needs to start taking responsibility for her actions without her mother coddling her (I say this as the mother of a former teen that developed an exacerbation of a chronic medical condition who got very depressed after high school and gained a bunch of weight- I actually did have to flip her mattress several times to get her out of bed so she could DO something instead of sitting on the sofa covered with a fuzzy blanket all day).  

[Ucross]

4 hours ago, JeanJean said:

She is expected to do more "great things" when she really hasn't done any great things to begin with. 

No kidding. I don't see that Jazz has done anything outstanding or reached for perfection. This is all very disturbing.

[spacefly]

1 hour ago, ItsHelloPattiagain said:

What was Jazz doing when she decided to postpone Harvard? I understand she was struggling with mental/emotional issues, but couldn't she take a few classes at a local college online and transfer them when she was able to go there? 

She probably should have been working or something but taking classes may not be an option if she wants to keep her status at Harvard. My nephew was accepted at Texas Tech and wanted to defer a year (2020-2021) and asked about taking classes at the local community college and was told that he would lose incoming Freshman status (some scholarship money/major placement etc) and would become a transfer student and would need to apply to the university all over again. I have heard this happening to another friend when his son did the same, his son went to Outward Bound instead. Not sure if Harvard is the same but it just may not have been an option. 

[JeanJean]

23 minutes ago, Ucross said:

No kidding. I don't see that Jazz has done anything outstanding or reached for perfection. This is all very disturbing.

Nor should she have to. She's been a kid all along. Most adults don't do anything outstanding or reach for a perfection that the world notices. As Billy Joel (I like him) once said, "Just surviving is a noble fight."

[all4mom2]

Random question, but...  Did she ever record the song ("I Come From the Stars," which I think is as far as she got with it) over which she was having a breakdown when the last season ended?  I actually think both the song and her voice rock!

[zengirl1215]

I'm sure the rollerblading/skating was fun and possibly just scripted for the show, but Jazz just needs good old-fashioned walking. Nothing fancy needed, except her to get up and moving everyday. As I watched, all I kept thinking was, just go for a walk, and do it daily, and each day go for a longer one. Of course, she needs to cut back on the bad foods she's ingesting, but amping up the metabolism is a good start. I do wish her well in the weight loss journey. 

[JeanJean]

3 hours ago, zengirl1215 said:

I'm sure the rollerblading/skating was fun and possibly just scripted for the show, but Jazz just needs good old-fashioned walking. Nothing fancy needed, except her to get up and moving everyday. As I watched, all I kept thinking was, just go for a walk, and do it daily, and each day go for a longer one. Of course, she needs to cut back on the bad foods she's ingesting, but amping up the metabolism is a good start. I do wish her well in the weight loss journey. 

This, yes!!! It doesn't even need to be a tremendous amount - 20 minutes a day can speed up your metabolism. And taking stairs instead of elevators helps, too. Living in a walk-up did wonders for me! (I didn't have as much extra weight as she does, but I went down 2 sizes the first  year without giving up my favorite foods.)

[Liamsmom617]

14 hours ago, JeanJean said:

This, yes!!! It doesn't even need to be a tremendous amount - 20 minutes a day can speed up your metabolism. And taking stairs instead of elevators helps, too. Living in a walk-up did wonders for me! (I didn't have as much extra weight as she does, but I went down 2 sizes the first  year without giving up my favorite foods.)

  Also, she's very young. When I set my mind to it, at that age, I could lose weight pretty quickly just by watching my calories and working out more days/week. Now, at over 50, it's more challenging (but still doable--luckily, I enjoy exercising and do it as much for stress relief as for fitness/weight management).

  RE: Jeannette---I agree 100% that she is wayyy too enmeshed w/Jazz and needs to find something else to focus on. And I actually wondered, when I saw the commercials for this new season and saw Jazz's weight gain, whether the hormones she is taking post-surgery might be contributing to it. Not sure if she takes more/different meds now than pre-surgery.

   I think Jeannette and Greg, as a previous poster said, did what they thought was right at the time for their child. It's easy to second-guess it now. The irony is that being so financially well-off made it possible for them to put Jazz on the hormone blockers, etc. much earlier than was probably advisable. But I can't fault them for doing what they thought was best.

   Finally---I found both Jeannette and Jazz less annoying on this 1st episode than I have in past seasons. I can actually relate to a lot of what Jeanette was saying about how hard it is to figure out what to do/how to help a teen with depression and anxiety. One of my daughters, 17, has been struggling w/that since last summer, and Jeannette hit the nail on the head about how frustrating it can be to find the right meds/cocktail of meds.

[Bastet]

2 minutes ago, Liamsmom617 said:

The irony is that being so financially well-off made it possible for them to put Jazz on the hormone blockers, etc. much earlier than was probably advisable. But I can't fault them for doing what they thought was best.

Yeah, I cannot possibly criticize that decision when virtually every single adult transperson Jazz spoke with talked about how emotionally traumatizing it was to go through the wrong puberty, and how its physical changes affected for the rest of their lives their ability to "pass".

3 minutes ago, Liamsmom617 said:

Finally---I found both Jeannette and Jazz less annoying on this 1st episode than I have in past seasons. I can actually relate to a lot of what Jeanette was saying about how hard it is to figure out what to do/how to help a teen with depression and anxiety. One of my daughters, 17, has been struggling w/that since last summer, and Jeannette hit the nail on the head about how frustrating it can be to find the right meds/cocktail of meds.

I'm nearly 50, and I know it's difficult for my parents to watch me battle chronic depression and anxiety.  It's always hard to watch your child struggle, especially when there's not much you can do to help.  But when it's a teenager who lives with you, I'm sure it's much harder, because you're constantly aware of it. 

[Liamsmom617]

1 minute ago, Bastet said:

Yeah, I cannot possibly criticize that decision when virtually every single adult transperson Jazz spoke with talked about how emotionally traumatizing it was to go through the wrong puberty, and how its physical changes affected for the rest of their lives their ability to "pass".

I'm nearly 50, and I know it's difficult for my parents to watch me battle chronic depression and anxiety.  It's always hard to watch your child struggle, especially when there's not much you can do to help.  But when it's a teenager who lives with you, I'm sure it's much harder, because you're constantly aware of it. 

  YES! (And I am sorry to hear you are struggling with depression and anxiety, too.) I am still learning how best to proceed when my daughter appears to be struggling...am learning to just secure a promise from her that she won't self-harm, then to back off and let her know I am here if she wants/needs to talk, letting her come to me when she is ready. 

    I too had read many accounts of trans adults recounting how they became suicidal when they hit puberty and their "assigned at birth" gender became undeniable. So who can blame Greg and Jeannette, who had plenty of resources and $$ and are very liberal, for trying to stay ahead of it for Jazz?

[CousinAmy]

15 hours ago, JeanJean said:

This, yes!!! It doesn't even need to be a tremendous amount - 20 minutes a day can speed up your metabolism. And taking stairs instead of elevators helps, too. Living in a walk-up did wonders for me! (I didn't have as much extra weight as she does, but I went down 2 sizes the first  year without giving up my favorite foods.)

But she doesn't want to. I agree, it was much easier when I was young and I counted calories - because I really wanted to. Now all the urging in the world won't get me off the couch and in my sneakers. It's obvious the rest of the family wants Jazz to exercise and stop overeating - but unless they can fill up that empty space inside her, it won't work. And she's the only one who can choose how to fill it up.

Obviously the plot line for this season has already been planned, and it's going to be "Hilarious ways to get Jazz to lose weight."

 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

1 hour ago, Liamsmom617 said:

    I think Jeannette and Greg, as a previous poster said, did what they thought was right at the time for their child. It's easy to second-guess it now. The irony is that being so financially well-off made it possible for them to put Jazz on the hormone blockers, etc. much earlier than was probably advisable. But I can't fault them for doing what they thought was best.

   Finally---I found both Jeannette and Jazz less annoying on this 1st episode than I have in past seasons. I can actually relate to a lot of what Jeanette was saying about how hard it is to figure out what to do/how to help a teen with depression and anxiety. One of my daughters, 17, has been struggling w/that since last summer, and Jeannette hit the nail on the head about how frustrating it can be to find the right meds/cocktail of meds.

I work in project management, and I always remind people we make the best decision we can with the information we have at the time.  I do think Greg and Jeannette were legitimately doing what they thought was best for their child.  I also believe they sought help from qualified (a.k.a. not cousin Debbie) medical professionals and followed their advice. Those professionals did not appear on TV.

When Jeannette gets questions from "haters" that is her best response.  If asked, "would you do things differently now?" the answer is often "I don't know".  Otherwise explain that the field of transgender health care is changing and evolving.  More is known now than it was 15 years ago.  The advice provided by treatment professionals has changed.  So the suggested plan would likely change.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. 

I do feel that Jazz would be better off getting care for her anxiety and depression while not also filming a TV show. That is extra stress she does not need. Also, if she really is an intern at that doctor's office, she should get a small apartment near there and start caring for herself. That would prove whether or not she is ready to go to Harvard.  Living with her (rightfully) fretful family and staying in the limelight is not helping her mature and reach that critical point of development when we each truly figure out who we are. 

[all4mom2]

17 hours ago, JeanJean said:

This, yes!!! It doesn't even need to be a tremendous amount - 20 minutes a day can speed up your metabolism. And taking stairs instead of elevators helps, too. Living in a walk-up did wonders for me! (I didn't have as much extra weight as she does, but I went down 2 sizes the first  year without giving up my favorite foods.)

Jazz is fortunate enough to have a POOL in the backyard. 

That's easy on the joints and also an escape from the Florida heat and humidity and also no one can see you there (taking care of three excuses not to exercise).

When Jeanette said the year after her surgery was the happiest she's ever been, wasn't that the year Jazz was too "depressed and anxious" to attend Harvard???

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

1 hour ago, CousinAmy said:

Obviously the plot line for this season has already been planned, and it's going to be "Hilarious ways to get Jazz to lose weight."

I know you're being facetious, but if this is the remotest bit true (and knowing TLC, it might be), I find it very sad.  The weight is an outward sign of something wrong inside (her depression/anxiety/whatever other issues). Imagine if she had anorexia and had starved herself down to 90 pounds and they were coming up with humorous ways to get her to GAIN weight.  Her brothers could be dancing around with chocolate shakes and bags of potato chips while her mother continues to control Jazz's life. 

My co-worker and I were having a discussion about another teen today and she said "Life is HARD".  While it's going to be hard for Jazz to gain autonomy over her life, it's hard for her to sit at home and gain weight and expect those around her to cater to her.  As parents, we need to help our kids choose their hard and give them support, not try and shield them from whatever inevitable HARD is in their future.

[Dobian]

I watched this show last season in the way you might rubberneck a car accident, but I'm not even going to do that anymore.  I'm done with this crapfest after last night.  Jazz and Jeanette are and always will be in total denial about Jazz and the real reasons for the depression and anxiety and weight gain and everything else.  They're dysfunctional co-dependent co-enablers on the reality tv train of narcissism, thinking they are great role models.  The siblings aren't much better.  I like the grandparents.  That's about it.

[missnoa]

21 hours ago, ItsHelloPattiagain said:

I know you're being facetious, but if this is the remotest bit true (and knowing TLC, it might be), I find it very sad.  The weight is an outward sign of something wrong inside (her depression/anxiety/whatever other issues). Imagine if she had anorexia and had starved herself down to 90 pounds and they were coming up with humorous ways to get her to GAIN weight.  Her brothers could be dancing around with chocolate shakes and bags of potato chips while her mother continues to control Jazz's life. 

My co-worker and I were having a discussion about another teen today and she said "Life is HARD".  While it's going to be hard for Jazz to gain autonomy over her life, it's hard for her to sit at home and gain weight and expect those around her to cater to her.  As parents, we need to help our kids choose their hard and give them support, not try and shield them from whatever inevitable HARD is in their future.

Honestly this has been an issue the whole show - Jazz and co address the symptoms of her issues (like not being able to control her eating, not being able to finish school, having a mental breakdown when minor things go wrong like at the drag show) without actually addressing and getting at the root cause that causes all of it. I truly believe that she needs to be seeing a different psychologist because she has been visibly struggling with many aspects of her mental health and just like keeping the mini crock pot full of cheese out of her room doesn't get at what makes her eat a whole batch of crock pot cheese at once. I am not saying it would be easy - anyone involved in any kind of therapy knows it can be really freaking difficult - but until Jazz does that, her issues are not going to magically go away.

There's no external magic finish line where if she was just able cross it - like say getting her vagina or graduating Harvard - her inner issues will just vanish. I really feel like after her vaginoplasty she started to spiral because she finally had the female body she wanted and the whole family considered that kind of the "final boss" and once she got that a lot of her emotional issues would vanish but that didn't happen, so she was left with the feeling of "where do I go from here? What else can I do to get rid of these awful feelings?" and it just caused her to spiral and comfort eat. The scary thing is too that sometimes all the therapy in the world doesn't help and you need to adjust your meds and just soldier one and pray they start working again. I hope that's not the case for her and she's able to navigate her mental health struggles and just be happy. And I hope her mom discovers a life and identity outside of being her trans daughter's mother.

Edited December 3, 2021 by missnoa

[gingerella]

20 hours ago, Dobian said:

I watched this show last season in the way you might rubberneck a car accident, but I'm not even going to do that anymore.  I'm done with this crapfest after last night.  Jazz and Jeanette are and always will be in total denial about Jazz and the real reasons for the depression and anxiety and weight gain and everything else.  They're dysfunctional co-dependent co-enablers on the reality tv train of narcissism, thinking they are great role models.  The siblings aren't much better.  I like the grandparents.  That's about it.

I hear you. I've been on this listing ship since S01 and I realized last night that it was still on my DVR to record so I watched this first epi and I have to say I f/f'd through nearly the entire thing. I just cant with the "Hey Jazz is fat as a house now so let's make THIS our lame storyline for another season! And let's have my brother date a transwoman too!" Nope. I'm done. This family is sick and in need of group and individual therapy, and not by Cousin Debbie either. Jazz has stopped being a trans role model long ago, and is a petulant, spoiled, lazy young person in need of therapy and a good swift kick in the ass. They could afford her a personal trainer but she wouldn't do it because she always thinks she knows better than anyone else on pretty much everything. So no, I won't be supporting this schlock anymore. I'm out.

[JeanJean]

We all have our default ways of going through life, maybe - I think in therapy they may be called "scripts." Jazz had always felt she was off physically. Maybe she unconsciously needed a new physical thing that had to be fixed because she knows how to live that way, so weight gain. It's familiar. Does that make sense? Maybe that's too simplistic of me. Food is a way of comforting yourself and you have to have it - in that way, it's not like other addictions.

 It's very hard to change those scripts and default ways of living. And she's under so much pressure to be perfect - and I saw some of that coming from Jeanette with her insistence on Harvard - and it's so hard to make peace with it being okay to not be perfect, not be happy every moment, not always win (we've seen how sick thinking otherwise can make someone in recent years) when you're older let alone Jazz's age. And that's a tough age for sensitive young folks, like Jazz.

 

[chediavolo]

On 12/2/2021 at 8:23 PM, Dobian said:

I watched this show last season in the way you might rubberneck a car accident, but I'm not even going to do that anymore.  I'm done with this crapfest after last night.  Jazz and Jeanette are and always will be in total denial about Jazz and the real reasons for the depression and anxiety and weight gain and everything else.  They're dysfunctional co-dependent co-enablers on the reality tv train of narcissism, thinking they are great role models.  The siblings aren't much better.  I like the grandparents.  That's about it.

I’m still going to watch although I mostly agree with you. And I can’t stand the grandparents. He seems like a bully & she  is just odd inside & out. She needs to buy a better more realistic wig. They can afford it. 

[Liamsmom617]

On 12/2/2021 at 4:29 PM, ItsHelloPattiagain said:

I know you're being facetious, but if this is the remotest bit true (and knowing TLC, it might be), I find it very sad.  The weight is an outward sign of something wrong inside (her depression/anxiety/whatever other issues). Imagine if she had anorexia and had starved herself down to 90 pounds and they were coming up with humorous ways to get her to GAIN weight.  Her brothers could be dancing around with chocolate shakes and bags of potato chips while her mother continues to control Jazz's life. 

My co-worker and I were having a discussion about another teen today and she said "Life is HARD".  While it's going to be hard for Jazz to gain autonomy over her life, it's hard for her to sit at home and gain weight and expect those around her to cater to her.  As parents, we need to help our kids choose their hard and give them support, not try and shield them from whatever inevitable HARD is in their future.

That's the ultimate challenge though, right? I'm an MSW but still sometimes feel clueless as to best help my daughters w/their mental health issues without hovering or trying to make everything in their world perfect--which I already know isn't possible. 

[all4mom2]

9 hours ago, JeanJean said:

And she's under so much pressure to be perfect - and I saw some of that coming from Jeanette with her insistence on Harvard...

 

I loved Jeanette trying to bribe food addict Jazz to like Harvard with the offering of Mike's Pastry world-famous cannoli.  That really said it all!

[gingerella]

11 hours ago, JeanJean said:

Food is a way of comforting yourself and you have to have it - in that way, it's not like other addictions.

Food addiction is exactly like other addictions though because you do it to mask something else that you're nit dealing with. This isn't a case where she overeats too much good food and needs to lose 30 pounds. This is binging and shoving huge amounts if food into your mouth to try and fill a void that you dont want to deal with. Same thing an alcoholic does to drink away what they don't want to deal with, IMO.

[yankeefan]

6 hours ago, chediavolo said:

And I can’t stand the grandparents. He seems like a bully & she  is just odd inside & out. 

Yes!  I can't imagine discussing my genitalia with my grandparents at the dinner table, even if one of them is a doctor.

[yankeefan]

23 hours ago, missnoa said:

I really feel like after her vaginoplasty she started to spiral because she finally had the female body she wanted and the whole family considered that kind of the "final boss" and once she got that a lot of her emotional issues would vanish but that didn't happen,

Exactly!  Which is one of the reasons pre-surgery counseling - real counseling, not cousin Debbie- is so important.

[all4mom2]

On 12/4/2021 at 11:03 AM, yankeefan said:

Yes!  I can't imagine discussing my genitalia with my grandparents at the dinner table, even if one of them is a doctor.

Jack's actually a retired radiologist, so probably TMI for him.