S13.E17: Down & Dirty Decision Day

[DrewPaul2010]

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Isn't it obvious that people looking for perfect and self-centered people are NOT marriage material???!!! It's hard to believe they didn't recruit Johnny & Ryan and those fools actually signed up to be MAFS when they had such ridiculous expectations.

That's almost like beauty shaming. I've heard of exceedingly good looking woman not getting dates because guys figured they weren't in there league. Some exceptional looking people are self-centered. All adults who live by themselves are inherently self-centered. This isn't a slam its just you make all your own decisions as a single person. That's why adjusting to marriage is such a struggle especially for the 30's and above crowd who have been doing their own thing unchallenged for years. Most of the contestants have fantasies about married life. I know I did then reality slapped me in the face.

I've watched nearly every season and there process for picking couples is incomprehensible. I suspect they get into a room sitting cross legged lifting prayers to the match making gods. I can think of at least 6 guys and a couple of woman who were totally immersed in themselves. Others who instantly gave up within moments of seeing their new spouse. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Elizzikra]

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All adults who live by themselves are inherently self-centered. This isn't a slam its just you make all your own decisions as a single person. That's why adjusting to marriage is such a struggle especially for the 30's and above crowd who have been doing their own thing unchallenged for years.

I call bullshit. I lived alone between age 32 and 45, when I finally married for the first time. I didn't have trouble adjusting to marriage. And even though I lived alone in those years, there were plenty of people who challenged every aspect of how I did my own thing - everyone from my mother to the guy who delivered takeout on Friday nights. People are judgey. Bottom line is some people are more readily adaptable than others. I definitely would not have described myself as "self-centered" then, or now.

[Yeah No]

13 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

To be fair, the collective knowledge of the experts could fit on Jose’s whiteboard with plenty of room to spare. I would be more confident in the wisdom and advice of the average American middle school student than a single one of these “experts”.

Did you read my post?  I was talking about how Myrla thinks she knows better than makeup experts, NOT the so-called "experts" on this stupid show!!!  I know better than that!

Edited November 13, 2021 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Some exceptional looking people are self-centered. All adults who live by themselves are inherently self-centered. This isn't a slam its just you make all your own decisions as a single person. That's why adjusting to marriage is such a struggle especially for the 30's and above crowd who have been doing their own thing unchallenged for years. Most of the contestants have fantasies about married life. I know I did then reality slapped me in the face.

I think it's the other way around.  It's a struggle for some people to adjust to marriage at 35 because they were never able to be flexible and other-centered enough to make a relationship work.  They were never able to do it, it's not just because they've gotten set in their single ways after so many years.  Of course this is only a subset of single people at 35.  Some of them have been successful at adjusting but find themselves single again after a LTR didn't work out for other reasons, or a divorce, or any number of reasons.

[mythoughtis]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think it's the other way around.  It's a struggle for some people to adjust to marriage at 35 because they were never able to be flexible and other-centered enough to make a relationship work.  They were never able to do it, it's not just because they've gotten set in their single ways after so many years.  Of course this is only a subset of single people at 35.  Some of them have been successful at adjusting but find themselves single again after a LTR didn't work out for other reasons, or a divorce, or any number of reasons.

Yes.  There are people who will never be able to adjust to marriage.  They just cannot put others needs above theirs, nor compromise for others preferences. 
Other people can marry for the first time in their 30s and adjust fine. I married at 31,my spouse was 33.  I think it’s fair to say that we each were a little set in our ways.  Our first year wasn’t the best one- but it wasn’t bad either.  Things like how to hold the toothpaste( buy two), what cabinet to put what in,  where to spend what holiday, etc. 

I think marriage at age 35 to a stranger would be difficult because there is no love present immediately to want to work through things. Hence Ryan just not even trying to work through Brett not being his type.  Gil getting his fill of negativity and eventually just spewing it back all over the place. And those marriages weren’t the level of crazy the other three were. 

Edited November 13, 2021 by mythoughtis

[Starlight925]

While I don't blame Gil for not liking Myrla's negativity, she is who she is, and she's obviously not going to change, given the very negative way she described her wedding day, on the very last day of their experiment.

She's just a negative Nancy who focuses on what's wrong with things, rather than positive.  It's who she is.

I dated someone like this years ago, and I had to end it.  20 years later, and he's the exact same way, still single BTW.  He was "crushed" that I ended it, and would still date me today.  Um, no thanks bud.

I also have someone like this in my circle, and let me tell you, it's a hard way to be.  It could be sunshine & butterflies, yet there's a complaint that it's too sunny, or that the butterflies are too colorful.  Arm's length isn't far enough for me to stay from this person.

Gil's not perfect either, but I'd take a million Gil's over 1 Myrla.

[Gator Stud]

On 11/11/2021 at 8:42 AM, Yeah No said:

It does.  I think Zack knows by now that he could never live with her.  Friends with bennies on the other hand he could manage.  But I seriously doubt she's going to want that and will likely find it insulting once she gets wise to it, which I predict will be soon.

This told me that the sex with Michaela was really good and that she is really good in bed.  Thats the only way this makes sense.

[Gator Stud]

On 11/11/2021 at 8:56 AM, Ms.C. said:

I think it is odd so many are critical of Rachel’s speech patterns.  She speaks clearly and with thought.  I read a long time ago that Europeans think Americans sound like seals.  They love the Brits of course. Personally, I love slower speech.   I think your hearing an educated, thoughtful speaker who weighs her words.  She is very intentional in what she says.     Want to hear slow, go to east coast elite.  Remember Jackie Kennedy?  
 

BTW, they were my favorite couple.  Both have post graduate degrees and are in challenging jobs.  They were most ready for marriage and worked positively together to make it happen.  So many comments about Jose early on, I wondered if a bit of bigotry behind it all.  It was clear early on they were suited.  Except for the locking out.  Glad that was repaired.  

Production is who gave Jose the gay edit.  Dont blame us, blame production.  Nobody said anything bigoted against LGBTQ, they just thought he was gay because of the way production was presenting him. Maybe he is not gay.  But we already went through this with Puke, who is gay.  So you really cant blame us for thinking Jose was gay too. He might still be gay. But since he decided to stay married, I guess he will take his word for it despite what production tried to do for the first 4 episodes.

[kristen111]

17 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

That's almost like beauty shaming. I've heard of exceedingly good looking woman not getting dates because guys figured they weren't in there league

I found this to be so true when I was single.  A lot of guys were afraid of being rejected by the good looking girls.  The not so good looking guys never hesitated to ask the good lookers out.  They either had confidence or figured “what the hell, I have nothing to lose”.  My Company had zillions of single guys and girls.  It was a field day.  My nervy husband came over to me at a Company dance, and insulted me.  He said I had too much makeup on my face, and I loved it.  Married over 50 years.  Haha.  Love that story.  Lots of women love a guy with guts.  Now, he tells me I’m beautiful, even tho we are old.  Wish I could do it all over again.  Probably told this story 50 times already.  Sorry.

Edited November 13, 2021 by kristen111

[Elizzikra]

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Nobody said anything bigoted against LGBTQ, they just thought he was gay because of the way production was presenting him. 

Believing the stereotypes is a form of bigotry, IMO. They imply that all gay people are the same and exhibit certain traits that have nothing to do with sexual identity. I disliked the speculation about Jose's sexuality because it was based on those stereotypes. We never saw Jose in a romantic exchange with another man. He never said he dated other men or was attracted to them. He just "pinged the gaydar."

If you don't buy into the stereotypes, there's no way for production to give anyone the "gay edit."

[StatisticalOutlier]

Anybody else watch Project Runway, and think slow-speaking Rachel has watched a little too much of Nina Garcia?

[bref]

3 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Production is who gave Jose the gay edit.  Dont blame us, blame production.  Nobody said anything bigoted against LGBTQ, they just thought he was gay because of the way production was presenting him. Maybe he is not gay.  But we already went through this with Puke, who is gay.  So you really cant blame us for thinking Jose was gay too. He might still be gay. But since he decided to stay married, I guess he will take his word for it despite what production tried to do for the first 4 episodes.

Can you be more specific about what you perceived as a "gay edit" in the way Jose was presented? I'm honestly not sure what you mean. 

[Lindz]

I despise Ryan for doing the fake-it-til-you-make-it. He was going along with the program on the honeymoon, then stopped. Like. BE REAL!! DON'T DO WHAT YOU DON'T FEEL!! He shouldn't have kissed her & such when he didn't even like her like that. So misleading, confusing, & hurtful. Brett didn't deserve that. & the fool had the audacity to bring up sex. Like. WTF?!?! I wonder if seeing José & Rachel's affection ruined his relationship because they were nowhere near like that. The nerve of him to say he didn't get married to have a roommate... Dafuq?!! WHO slept elsewhere?!!!! He really took no accountability & didn't care. Awful.

[Ms.C.]

On 11/11/2021 at 10:37 AM, KateHearts said:

Not sure what this means; I know some people got a gay vibe and commented here but I don't consider those comments bigoted.

I could never, ever be as tolerant as Bao was during this season. She would just look at Johnny contemplatively while he squinted or rolled his eyes at her (or downright insulted her) and didn't seem to lose her cool. I also think some (including Johnny) were too critical of her "immature" behavior; sometimes people are playful and she had those moments but didn't lack for maturity and introspection. Looking at the flashback moments, he was described as "the fun guy," "the life of the party," etc but he ended up being a glum, critical, mean-spirited guy. I was so glad she was able to have the last word.

I also think some people here gave Brett a harder time than she deserved; she kept her cool while Ryan glumly avoided eye contact and never showed the level of her frustration. Again, I would not have been able to contain myself. And although her bathroom WAS messy, it didn't seem to be filthy and thus I don't think she deserved the "pig pen" commentary she got. Some said she needed to work harder on her appearance; I think she looked fairly natural most of the time- I did have an issue with the large amounts of boobage showing.

Although I think Gil and Myrla have fun and had an enjoyable back-and-forth, I don't think their financial differences will withstand marriage in the long run. And sometimes those "charming" attributes ("ohh, she's so high maintenance") continue to be so cute as the years pass.

 

 

Guessing:gossiping about someone’s sexual preference and/or making assumptions is disrespectful to say the best and trashy at it’s worst.  Provide some evidence supporting that view or leave it unsaid.  

[watchingtvaddict]

On 11/13/2021 at 2:52 PM, Yeah No said:

I think it's the other way around.  It's a struggle for some people to adjust to marriage at 35 because they were never able to be flexible and other-centered enough to make a relationship work.  They were never able to do it, it's not just because they've gotten set in their single ways after so many years.  Of course this is only a subset of single people at 35.  Some of them have been successful at adjusting but find themselves single again after a LTR didn't work out for other reasons, or a divorce, or any number of reasons.

As cynical as it sounds, I wanted to get married and live with my husband before we hit our late 30s. But moving in together in our mid 30s was still a struggle because we had different expectations around housework (luckily we already knew we had the same values around money and saving).

And I see it with my still single friends in their late 30s. IMO It's difficult to compromise when you're older. Because you're comfortable and your way works. You know how you like your house set up, how much you like to save vs spend, and you've got your social life sorted. 

If you get married when you're younger I believe its easier to be flexible because you don't know better! You're moving from parental expectation to figuring out what works better as a partnership. 

On 11/13/2021 at 11:59 AM, Elizzikra said:

I call bullshit. I lived alone between age 32 and 45, when I finally married for the first time. I didn't have trouble adjusting to marriage. And even though I lived alone in those years, there were plenty of people who challenged every aspect of how I did my own thing - everyone from my mother to the guy who delivered takeout on Friday nights. People are judgey. Bottom line is some people are more readily adaptable than others. I definitely would not have described myself as "self-centered" then, or now.

I lived alone from 25-35 and our first year of marriage was a struggle. We had very different expectations on how to run the household. I won't get into the nitty gritty but shopping standards/ preferred brands, how and when to clean the house, how to stock the fridge! You might have been lucky because you moved in with someone who had similar standards. But, I can see how too many arguments around how to set up your home can lead to a split.    

Also, no one challenged the way I lived my life because I had ZERO visitors to my home during that time- including my now husband (another challenge as my husband enjoys company and I dislike people coming to my home). 

[Emma Snyder]

18 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

If you don't buy into the stereotypes, there's no way for production to give anyone the "gay edit."

And I fail to see how production did that, anyway.

[nutella fitzgerald]

On 11/13/2021 at 12:36 AM, Yeah No said:

Did you read my post?  I was talking about how Myrla thinks she knows better than makeup experts, NOT the so-called "experts" on this stupid show!!!  I know better than that!

My b! You have to admit “experts” has a pretty specific meaning when talking about this show 🤷🏾‍♀️ 

[watchingtvaddict]

On 11/12/2021 at 10:48 AM, kristen111 said:

I don’t get Myrla’s shiny face with minimal makeup .. then Bam, those eyelashes hit you.  They look like they don’t belong there without makeup.  Might as well talk about the straight hair hanging also.  Not too flattering.  She just doesn’t look finished.

I feel like Myrla is going for a K-Make-up look. 

It's called "glass skin" my husband always teases me when I come back from a facial with my "shiny face"... Also, she doesn't trim her eyelashes. They are too long- If they are the permanent type, she should be trimming the eyelashes every 2-3 weeks... 

 

 

 

 

[kristen111]

8 minutes ago, watchingtvaddict said:

I feel like Myrla is going for a K-Make-up look. 

It's called "glass skin" my husband always teases me when I come back from a facial with my "shiny face"... Also, she doesn't trim her eyelashes. They are too long- If they are the permanent type, she should be trimming the eyelashes every 2-3 weeks... 

 

 

 

 

Yep .. that’s it. Lol.   Eh. Not a fan.

[Empress1]

On 11/13/2021 at 12:06 PM, Gator Stud said:

But we already went through this with Puke, who is gay.

Did he come out?

[kristen111]

On 11/13/2021 at 12:49 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

Anybody else watch Project Runway, and think slow-speaking Rachel has watched a little too much of Nina Garcia?

All my relatives live from New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Vermont, etc.  Up the east coast.  If you call CEO’s Elite, then they are.  I’ve never heard them to be Slow Talkers.  Accents, yes, but not Slow Talkers.  I think English is Rachel’s second language.   Sorry.  I answered under your heading.  Didn’t mean to.

Edited November 14, 2021 by kristen111

[Elizzikra]

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But we already went through this with Puke, who is gay.

Quote

Did he come out?

 

I've never seen anything in which he says that he's gay, though I don't read much about the people on these shows, apart from here. I believe he had a social media profile in which he identified as gay or maybe as being in a relationship with a man but when asked about it, he said it was a joke.

I don't refer to him as gay because in everything I've read, that's not how he chooses to identify. Having said that, he also probably doesn't self identify as an asshole and I do refer to him that way - but I do have tons of evidence of that.

[kristen111]

13 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

I also think some people here gave Brett a harder time than she deserved; she kept her cool while Ryan glumly avoided eye contact and never showed the level of her frustration. Again, I would not have been able to contain myself. And although her bathroom WAS messy, it didn't seem to be filthy and thus I don't think she deserved the "pig pen" commentary she got. Some said she needed to work harder on her appearance; I think she looked fairly natural most of the time- I did have an issue with the large amounts of boobage showing.

Production had nothing negative on Brett, so I think showing the messy bathroom was Production’s doing.  What woman would leave clothes all over the floors when being filmed?  Only a stupid woman, which Brett was not.  It’s probably in the contract to do these things.  I myself wouldn’t sign on that.  

[Elizzikra]

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Anybody else watch Project Runway, and think slow-speaking Rachel has watched a little too much of Nina Garcia?

You know - there is a similarity in the way they speak but I've always found it charming from Nina and infuriating from Rachel.

Quote

What woman would leave clothes all over the floors when being filmed?  Only a stupid woman, which Brett was not. 

Or a woman who didn't give a damn what a bunch of strangers watching her on television thought about her housekeeping skills. Or a woman who didn't anticipate that cameras would film an empty bathroom?

[princelina]

On 11/11/2021 at 10:05 AM, mythoughtis said:

We were never shown any really bad arguments, just Johnny’s rude over the top insults… but they obviously had some bad arguments  or he wouldn’t have been talking about it for weeks. 

But we were shown them having various conversations which might possibly be called "disagreements" (or less!) and he referred to those as arguments.  As a rule, I think it's a load of BS when they're all "I don't know what I'm going to do!" on the night before/morning of decision day, but Johnny was such a ridiculous mess that I believed it about him!

On 11/11/2021 at 1:37 PM, KateHearts said:

Not sure what this means; I know some people got a gay vibe and commented here but I don't consider those comments bigoted.

I could never, ever be as tolerant as Bao was during this season. She would just look at Johnny contemplatively while he squinted or rolled his eyes at her (or downright insulted her) and didn't seem to lose her cool. I also think some (including Johnny) were too critical of her "immature" behavior; sometimes people are playful and she had those moments but didn't lack for maturity and introspection. Looking at the flashback moments, he was described as "the fun guy," "the life of the party," etc but he ended up being a glum, critical, mean-spirited guy. I was so glad she was able to have the last word.

Yeah I never thought Bao was so "childish" - I think she's just a serious person and that was her awkward way of trying to "flirt" like Johnny supposedly wanted.  I was glad she came in looking super hot, because we know that in spite of all of his petty nonsense, he did find her attractive.

6 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Production had nothing negative on Brett, so I think showing the messy bathroom was Production’s doing.  What woman would leave clothes all over the floors when being filmed?  Only a stupid woman, which Brett was not.  It’s probably in the contract to do these things.  I myself wouldn’t sign on that.  

What I remember finding negative about Brett was her reactions on her wedding day - he was too conservative; she didn't like the country, or hunting, or line dancing . . . I know she's allowed to like what she likes, but she signed up for this, and announcing everything she didn't like on day 1 was no more attractive on her than it was on Myrla.

[geej]

On 11/11/2021 at 11:18 PM, Yeah No said:

Saying that Myrla's comments about hating her wedding was merely an admission that it was not her childhood fantasy is putting it mildly to say the least.  She could have been more tactful about it.  Instead she took out a hacksaw and went for the jugular.

I was JUST gonna say how she was trying to say all she wanted was a marriage, not a wedding. now! that would have come out sounding so gracious. Calling her wedding ugly. i agree so uncouth.  Her make up needs help, the edges of her communication technics need the same tweeking.                 I feel like they might have been in on getting Gil a TV gig, or Lifetime on-air stuff. She would have been fine with that! So that plays into her taking those sometimes intense insults(feedback my ass)  (but true) from gill is easy. Not sure hearing that he might be with someonelse now makes me wonder if my idea is totally off base. (IfGill might be all on his own, trying to be a peacock, but boy he is overtime trying to look like a host of MAFS.),,,bad sentence, i got stoned.(it's legal, *giggle*

[Yeah No]

On 11/13/2021 at 12:16 PM, Elizzikra said:

Believing the stereotypes is a form of bigotry, IMO. They imply that all gay people are the same and exhibit certain traits that have nothing to do with sexual identity. I disliked the speculation about Jose's sexuality because it was based on those stereotypes. We never saw Jose in a romantic exchange with another man. He never said he dated other men or was attracted to them. He just "pinged the gaydar."

If you don't buy into the stereotypes, there's no way for production to give anyone the "gay edit."

FWIW, I think because I grew up in NYC when it was big to be "out and proud" in Greenwich Village and my parents were book-o-philes who took me there every weekend to peruse the many bookstores, I have pretty amazing "gaydar" when it comes to men.

I don't think having gaydar is merely speculation based on stereotypes nor is it inherently or always bigoted.  It's a visceral reaction based on some signs that are actually pretty good indicators.  Gays also have 'straightdar', BTW and I don't feel that there's anything inherently bigoted about that either.

What I do think is bigoted is any judgment placed on individuals because of thinking they might be gay.

Even the best of articles on the subject of stereotypes say they exist for a reason and shouldn't be completely dismissed.  It's seeing people ONLY in terms of stereotypes and not taking them as individuals that is bigoted.  Individuals are never just a stereotype and always vary from it.  If one is unwilling to see those differences and take them into account they might be veering into bigotry.  Either that or they are just ignorant about gayness and don't know any better.

That said, in the first two episodes I did wonder about José but that was based only on the most surface of cues.  After seeing more of him I started to feel that he was indeed straight based on his behavior.  And none of my process with that IMO was bigoted.  I do agree though that getting fixated on the most surface aspects of a person could be based on bigoted assumptions, but it could also be based on a sincere ignorance too.

 

[kristen111]

On 11/14/2021 at 5:46 AM, watchingtvaddict said:

As cynical as it sounds, I wanted to get married and live with my husband before we hit our late 30s. But moving in together in our mid 30s was still a struggle because we had different expectations around housework (luckily we already knew we had the same values around money and saving).

And I see it with my still single friends in their late 30s. IMO It's difficult to compromise when you're older. Because you're comfortable and your way works. You know how you like your house set up, how much you like to save vs spend, and you've got your social life sorted. 

If you get married when you're younger I believe its easier to be flexible because you don't know better! You're moving from parental expectation to figuring out what works better as a partnership. 

I lived alone from 25-35 and our first year of marriage was a struggle. We had very different expectations on how to run the household. I won't get into the nitty gritty but shopping standards/ preferred brands, how and when to clean the house, how to stock the fridge! You might have been lucky because you moved in with someone who had similar standards. But, I can see how too many arguments around how to set up your home can lead to a split.    

Also, no one challenged the way I lived my life because I had ZERO visitors to my home during that time- including my now husband (another challenge as my husband enjoys company and I dislike people coming to my home). 

I believe the women should run the house.  For food, buy what you like and what he likes.  If you work too, both should share the cleaning and clothes washing and folding.  Both can cook too, if he likes.  I’m only sorry now that I had too much company .. I cooked for family and friends too much, and had lots of parties.  Too many.  I killed myself.  I  treated my husbands family like my own, but they never appreciated it.  I have two married daughters.  They don’t do a quarter of what I did.  They are smart.  They both don’t like company either as it’s a lot of work.  Smart.  Now, in my retirement, I do nothing.  Husband does the food shopping, vacuuming, washes clothes, etc.  I’ll usually cook, but not like I used to, and I don’t care.  I am done, lol.

[Elizzikra]

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I believe the women should run the house. 

Why? Genuinely curious.

Even if both work full-time outside the home?

[Emma Snyder]

Hey everyone, please keep comments to the episode itself.Off-topic discussion should be moved to small talk. Several posts were removed. 

[kristen111]

On 11/15/2021 at 12:23 AM, princelina said:

But we were shown them having various conversations which might possibly be called "disagreements" (or less!) and he referred to those as arguments.  As a rule, I think it's a load of BS when they're all "I don't know what I'm going to do!" on the night before/morning of decision day, but Johnny was such a ridiculous mess that I believed it about him!

Yeah I never thought Bao was so "childish" - I think she's just a serious person and that was her awkward way of trying to "flirt" like Johnny supposedly wanted.  I was glad she came in looking super hot, because we know that in spite of all of his petty nonsense, he did find her attractive.

What I remember finding negative about Brett was her reactions on her wedding day - he was too conservative; she didn't like the country, or hunting, or line dancing . . . I know she's allowed to like what she likes, but she signed up for this, and announcing everything she didn't like on day 1 was no more attractive on her than it was on Myrla.

Knowing all this, the “experts” match them anyhow, for drama.  Not right.

[Chalby]

On 11/10/2021 at 5:18 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

Gil seems to lack drive, a key trait for Myrla. And he is still being critical of Myrla, which, considering he is saying she's "negative," is ironic. 

But what do I know?!

I cannot imagine anyone who's a fireman is lacking in drive. He's content in life and wants to share his life. I hope Myrla is less narcissistic when cameras are off.

On 11/10/2021 at 5:34 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

I couldn’t be with someone who criticized me like Gil does, but for whatever reason, it doesn’t seem like it bothers her or at least she’s hasn’t said as much. She seems to like being called, high maintenance and Princess. 
They won’t last, but I do think there is something there and they are sweet on each other. 

Once Myrla watches herself on the show, she will see how critical and negative she was about everything (except Gil). Given her career, I believe she will be open to change.

[Chalby]

On 11/10/2021 at 5:41 PM, Crashcourse said:

Johnny said yes first.   I think Bao is gonna fuck him up. 

How could Bao say yes to someone who disparaged her at every chance. I give her credit for even being in the same apartment as him. Imagine being told you're unattractive, a liar, and not worthy of a second date if they weren't married already. Forget him, I'm sure there are better men sliding into her DMs

[Elizzikra]

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I cannot imagine anyone who's a fireman is lacking in drive.

I agree - I think that Gil has drive and ambition; it's just that his chosen profession isn't particularly high paid. Money doesn't seem to be what drives him and I think that is where he and Myrla diverge...

[Jax7917]

On 11/13/2021 at 12:06 PM, Gator Stud said:

Production is who gave Jose the gay edit.  Dont blame us, blame production.  Nobody said anything bigoted against LGBTQ, they just thought he was gay because of the way production was presenting him. Maybe he is not gay.  But we already went through this with Puke, who is gay.  So you really cant blame us for thinking Jose was gay too. He might still be gay. But since he decided to stay married, I guess he will take his word for it despite what production tried to do for the first 4 episodes.

Luke has a girlfriend … 

How does someone get a gay edit ? Such a weird comment . 

[theartandsound]

46 minutes ago, Jax7917 said:

How does someone get a gay edit ? Such a weird comment . 

Production definitely made the footage look that way with Jose, particularly in the way he was bonding with Johnny and taking advantage of his gregarious personality and twisting it just enough...

Similar thing with Ryan last season in Atlanta, particularly his glacial approach to reciprocating or giving any affection to Clara. You even had Dr. Viviana question this. I know she asked Clara if she thought he might be a virgin, but I forget if being gay or bi was also put on the table.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, theartandsound said:

Production definitely made the footage look that way with Jose, particularly in the way he was bonding with Johnny and taking advantage of his gregarious personality and twisting it just enough...

Similar thing with Ryan last season in Atlanta, particularly his glacial approach to reciprocating or giving any affection to Clara. You even had Dr. Viviana question this. I know she asked Clara if she thought he might be a virgin, but I forget if being gay or bi was also put on the table.

I don't know, I'm usually the one saying that production engineers everything to look a certain way but in both cases here I'm not convinced that's the case.  It looked to me like they were using that footage for other reasons, not to make either of them look gay, although that could be certainly inferred by the viewer for sure.  But usually when they do stuff intentionally it's more heavy-handed like there's no doubt as to what they're going for because they slant things in one direction constantly.  I think if they were trying to make Jose look gay they would have poured it on a little thicker.  I think what we did see from both men was just them being them. 🤷‍♀️

[Emma Snyder]

10 hours ago, Chalby said:

How could Bao say yes to someone who disparaged her at every chance. I give her credit for even being in the same apartment as him. Imagine being told you're unattractive, a liar, and not worthy of a second date if they weren't married already. Forget him, I'm sure there are better men sliding into her DMs

Right? "Yes" after "I'd rather be married to literally anybody else."???  The hell with that!

[Emma Snyder]

Speculating on someone's sexual orientation is DEFINITELY off topic (not to mention uncalled for) and needs to stop. Warnings will be handed out if there are any more comments on this.

[kristen111]

On 11/13/2021 at 11:59 AM, Gator Stud said:

This told me that the sex with Michaela was really good and that she is really good in bed.  Thats the only way this makes sense.

I thought in the end, Zack said he never had sex with her?  I thin Myrla and Gil were lying also.   ?????? Everyone lying?

[watchingtvaddict]

3 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I thought in the end, Zack said he never had sex with her?  I thin Myrla and Gil were lying also.   ?????? Everyone lying?

I don't trust any of the couples when it comes to being honest about 1.) sex 2.) living arrangements 3.) anything that makes them look better than their awful partner 😂

 

Edited November 17, 2021 by watchingtvaddict
forgot an "s"

[kristen111]

48 minutes ago, watchingtvaddict said:

I don't trust any of the couples when it comes to being honest about 1.) sex 2.) living arrangements 3.) anything that makes them look better than their awful partner 😂

 

I forgot a k. Lol.

[Retired at last]

1 hour ago, kristen111 said:

I thought in the end, Zack said he never had sex with her?  I

I'm pretty sure they had sex on their wedding night. People have reported that he has said that he hadn't had sex with her since the honeymoon. But, I don't know about that. They sure seemed happy to see each other the night he got back to town after the quarantine.

[LennieBriscoe]

18 hours ago, Chalby said:

I cannot imagine anyone who's a fireman is lacking in drive. He's content in life and wants to share his life. I hope Myrla is less narcissistic when cameras are off.

Once Myrla watches herself on the show, she will see how critical and negative she was about everything (except Gil). Given her career, I believe she will be open to change.

"Drive" isn't synonymous with "courage," "bravery," "selflessness," or the like. You defined it best: "He's content in life...." Myrna is not, not financially or professionally (which in education go hand in hand). 

[pdlinda]

16 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

"Drive" isn't synonymous with "courage," "bravery," "selflessness," or the like. You defined it best: "He's content in life...." Myrna is not, not financially or professionally (which in education go hand in hand). 

I think Myrla and Gil are each entitled to their values, beliefs, world view, life goals and personalities.

The most pertinent issue between them is that they are not compatible.

Better for them to "cut their losses" and go their separate ways.