S13.E09: Could this be love?

[Chatty Cake]

I enjoy going out to dinner on Fridays and Saturdays after a long work week. The places don’t have to be expensive or have cute overpriced drinks but it is nice to get out. Gil not wanting to go out very often would be a red flag. 
Johnny called Bao the “same old Bao” cause she wanted her painting to be nice? Dick. 
I don’t think Ryan is going to get there with Brett. 
Jose and Rachel are so cute. I hope Rose makes it!

[JocelynCavanaugh]

3 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

But physical intimacy in a marriage is also "kind of a thing" in our culture

So is marital rape. 

Some people also have choice names for women who will fuck someone they just met, just because they don't have the right paperwork. 

There's a mental hurdle for some people when it comes to immediate intimacy. In any civilized culture, that should always take precedence over the other person's base urges or an artificial timetable of how fast they "should" move. This stuff is all skimming the Venn diagram with rape culture.

[Lindz]

Why did they got to José's room? Myrla just laid across his bed like it was hers. So weird. Didn't they have somewhere else to gather? 😅

[Gator Stud]

On 9/18/2021 at 7:47 PM, Elizzikra said:

Sure - I count it as "cooking." Point is, she isn't going out for every meal every day.

You think microwave = cooking?  I dont even own a microwave.  I dont believe that she cooks three times a day.  I slow cook, and it takes too much time.  I guess parfaits are not cooking, but not going out either.  If they went to cheaper places, they would be ok.  Benjy's happy hour in the Village has amazing happy hour pricing. Heavy hitters go there after work.  They could get out for less than $100.  Boehme too. Washington Ave also.  Highland Village also.  Whole Foods has a cool- upscale brewery down the street from Myrla in the Galleria area. They could go out to Central Market and do upscale brunch and listen to a band play for under $40. Heavy-hitters go there too. 

14 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

On 9/18/2021 at 10:02 AM, Gator Stud said:

I kinda do this for a living for corporations.  I couldn't understand Jose's whiteboard either.  Bro's gotta get Excel.

Maybe I’m giving him too much credit, but I assumed he does have spreadsheets or something, and the whiteboard is more about having a visible motivator up in his house. If that’s his only “bookkeeping,” he’s not as savvy as he thinks. It doesn’t even make sense. 

Sorry, his whiteboard looks ghetto. Aint nobody impressed by that.  Its not even polite to discuss finances in public.

[Gator Stud]

On 9/18/2021 at 2:38 PM, Lindz said:

I wonder why so few picked José & Rachel to say, "I love you."

Maybe they know something we dont know.

[Gator Stud]

15 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

I will never be okay with the idea that it’s “just” a kiss and no “normal” woman should ever have a problem kissing a man just because they’re legally married. Kissing and physical touch affect people differently. For some perfectly normal, non-evil, non-defective people, it actually is a big deal to kiss someone.

We are talking about a peck on the lips here, not tongue action. I could give a peck to a random woman walking down the street and it not be a big deal.  Not now, because I have a gf.  I dont understand what is going on with Myrla, unless she truly thinks he is gross.

[Gator Stud]

14 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

Outside of having needs, I don’t understand why Bao was intimate with him. He dislikes your personality. He dislikes your childlike disposition. He dislikes this and that and reminds you even over a casual dinner that he’s not ready or whatever.

Girlfriend needs to get something out of this too. Bao is not at shy as she appears. They are both happy with the sex and Johnny stopped talking about the snoring.  Sex solves everything.

[Gator Stud]

9 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

But it's more than just money.  For many people, Sundays are for relaxing (I assume she is talking about Sunday brunch, not a Saturday one, which are harder to come by and generally not as prestigious).  Getting all dressed up, and taking hours (since that's one of the main points of brunch) is a lot to ask for every.single. weekend.  I love brunch and cannot even imagine doing that.

People dress up for Brunch?  I guess I've been living in LA for too long. For the past 2 years I've been going out in sweatpants and shorts to fancy places. I have not worn shoes 4 times in at last 4 years, and one was a funeral. Jeans is the most dressy I get. In Houston I wore jeans to brunch, and I went to some nice places. Its not the dressing up that Gil has a problem with.

[qtpye]

 

[LuvMyShows]

5 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Its not the dressing up that Gil has a problem with.

IIRC, Gil specifically mentioned the dressing up aspect of going out to fancy places, at some point earlier this season, as something he didn't like.  But I could be mixing it up with something else.

[Empress1]

On 9/18/2021 at 10:47 PM, Elizzikra said:

I wish that was true but it just... isn't. There are plenty of wonderful careers staffed by people who are passionate about them, but they just don't pay. Gil may one day be fire chief and that may pay a higher salary but like most fields, the number of higher paid, leadership positions is smaller than the number of lower paid, direct service positions. I think it's great that Gil is a firefighter. We need them. They are heroes and I could never do that job. But no matter how passionate he is about it, he's never going to earn a high salary doing it.

There’s an article in the Washington Post about how day care workers are leaving the profession in droves because it doesn’t pay. Most of them are like, “we love the kids but $10-$12 an hour isn’t getting it.” Same with the arts. Lin-Manuel Miranda is doing what he loves and getting paid well (and his work has opened doors for other artists), but he’s an anomaly.

Gil seems content with his job and his middle-class life. Myrla is never going to be content with the kind of life Gil leads. That’s what makes them a bad match.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

You think microwave = cooking?  

I'm not really parsing the language that carefully but I "count" it as cooking when Myrla says she "cooks three meals a day." 

Quote

I could give a peck to a random woman walking down the street and it not be a big deal.  

I'd be really put off if a total stranger walked up to me on the street and pecked me on the lips. That would just be weird. And I think technically, assault?

[Empress1]

24 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I'm not really parsing the language that carefully but I "count" it as cooking when Myrla says she "cooks three meals a day." 

Agree. I think in this case she means she eats three meals at home most days - she’s not getting takeout every day. If I eat fruit and yogurt for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch, that’s not cooking-cooking but it’s not eating out either. That’s Myrla’s point, I think, and I agree.

[seacliffsal]

The comments about Myrla should be a trophy wife confuse me as I think she would have if she could have, but instead she's on this show...just like when people think some of the 90-Day Fiance participants should find someone in the U.S.: they don't want the ones they maybe could be with.  I don't think Myrla is such a prize that a wealthy older person would seek her out.

[Nancybeth]

This week made me think Gil's objections to Myrla's "bougie" lifestyle is maybe less about money and more about the fact that he just doesn't "get" her...Myrla seems very very focused on herself and how she comes off to other people. She focuses a lot on social media and I . And all of that just seems foreign to Gil. It really came through when they were talking about her wanting a brunch husband. That was not the answer he was looking for and I think it probably did more harm to their relationship than the price tag on the brunch. It comes off, at times, like Myrla was looking for another accessory and that's why she chose to get married at first sight. 

Now I can't tell if she's getting a bad edit or she really has such high standards for everything and everyone. But I don't think Gil is enamored with the idea of being her "brunch hubby" forever. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

She focuses a lot on social media

Does she? I know we saw her texting and she's taken selfies but we don't know that she prolifically posts them on social media. I don't remember her talking about it at all. She may well be all over social media - I don't know - but I don't recall any evidence of it.

[Nancybeth]

4 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Does she? I know we saw her texting and she's taken selfies but we don't know that she prolifically posts them on social media. I don't remember her talking about it at all. She may well be all over social media - I don't know - but I don't recall any evidence of it.

You actually may be right about that -- her profile is private now so I can't really tell. I thought she mentioned hearing about the restaurant from a social media influencer, so maybe she's more of a consumer than a content creator?

[Crashcourse]

15 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Sorry, his whiteboard looks ghetto. Aint nobody impressed by that.  Its not even polite to discuss finances in public.

Frankly, I think all of these MAFS couples lie about their finances, and that includes Jose and his whiteboard.  Not that I blame them because I wouldn't want the public knowing about mine either, but if it's producer-driven the I'd lie, too.

[Elizzikra]

18 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Frankly, I think all of these MAFS couples lie about their finances, and that includes Jose and his whiteboard.  Not that I blame them because I wouldn't want the public knowing about mine either, but if it's producer-driven the I'd lie, too.

I guess if you’re going to put your sex life and hygiene habits out for public consumption, finances aren’t so private after all…

[kristen111]

On 9/18/2021 at 11:33 PM, Jax7917 said:

While I do think Myrla is very extra and snobby , I love my husband but we both make weekends a no cooking time . We have a baby now but before we had him , we went to restaurants Fridays-Sunday’s . Nowhere that expensive ( I hate going to upscale restaurants - smaller portions , much more money .) But my point being that we work hard during the week ( cooking included )and we want to enjoy our weekends which includes not cooking/cleaning the kitchen and just having someone else make our food for us . But the difference between us and Myrla and Gil is that my husband and I both want that . I don’t think Myrla is too much because she wants to eat out every weekend , but Gil just isn’t her match . Not just in regard to that , but with pretty much everything . But yes you can love your spouse but still want to eat / go out . One has nothing to do with the other . 

I agree with all the posts.  Going out for a nice dinner, etc.  The only thing that gets me is she’s giving him instructions right off the bat, which is very off putting, in my opinion.  They didn’t even have a first kiss yet, and she’s talking about everything she has to have.  She’s setting up the rules .. brunch on weekends, fancy restaurants twice a month, etc.  Gil wants love .. Myrla wants expensive things.  Like someone said, she should marry a very wealthy man.  Right, they were not a good match.  Plus, they just married.  I don’t cook all the time either.  We eat out often.  Me and the husband have been through it all, and are married 56 years.  Patience and compromise is the key.

[pdlinda]

5 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I don't think Myrla is such a prize that a wealthy older person would seek her out.

I believe your point is accurate and well taken.

When I thought about my suggestion that she pursue a wealthy older man to indulge her every material whim and request, it occurred to me that she is probably well past the "expiration date" on what someone of that ilk would require.  And, as  you mention, I'm not seeing any extraordinary "assets" that she possesses that would place her at the head of the line for such a "match".

Myrla is a successful professional.  Maybe now's the time for her to focus on her career and pursue the lifestyle that she's so vividly outlined on the show in peace and contentment.  She has a # of "handlers" (friends and family) whom I'm sure would be more than happy to accompany her to social venues with no pressure or expectations from her of anything more than she feels comfortable providing.

[Gator Stud]

9 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I'm not really parsing the language that carefully but I "count" it as cooking when Myrla says she "cooks three meals a day." 

I'd be really put off if a total stranger walked up to me on the street and pecked me on the lips. That would just be weird. And I think technically, assault?

I dont mean without permission, lolz.  I went on a date and I was not that attracted to her, but kissed her anyways.  With tongue. 

[kristen111]

38 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

I dont mean without permission, lolz.  I went on a date and I was not that attracted to her, but kissed her anyways.  With tongue. 

 

 

 

 

 

[kristen111]

Myrla cooks 3 times a day.  Don’t we all?   She works from home and is alone.  I cooked 3 meals a day for my husband and three kids, and worked part time too.  What happens if she has kids?  Will she still do these things?  The party will be over.  Things will change.  I think she just wants a brunch partner.  For now.  Both of them have very different ideas.  The experts screwed up once more.  Useless.

[kristen111]

18 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Girlfriend needs to get something out of this too. Bao is not at shy as she appears. They are both happy with the sex and Johnny stopped talking about the snoring.  Sex solves everything.

Maybe he pretends she’s someone else while doing it in the dark, lol.  I’ll bet.  How did he go from crying that he didn’t care for her, then next thing they were intimate?  That happened overnight.  I don’t get it.

[kristen111]

On 9/17/2021 at 1:45 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

Bald. Dog. 

Not with a spouse. Nope.

Myrla is not all that like she thinks she is.  Average is more like it.  That straight hair has to go.  The eyelashes and shiny face too, while I’m at it, lol.  

 

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 9/18/2021 at 5:12 PM, Meowwww said:

Nooooo!!!  I can’t imagine anyone eschewing Torchy’s!  

I eschew it because I've never found anything to eat there that I love.  When they first opened in Austin, they had some unusual fountain sodas, so I'd go for those and get something to eat just because, but the food was never the attraction.

If I were with people who wanted to eat there, I'd go and I'd eat.  But if I'm out by myself and want to get something to eat, I'd never pick it.

 

On 9/18/2021 at 5:48 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

Re: Long hair parted in the middle. I see some of you missed 1967--1980. ✌

Tue dat.  However, I do think there's an age component.  I think Michelle Phillips epitomized how young and fresh a girl with long hair parted in the middle could look, especially compared to the tortured hairdos girls/women had before that.  But once you get a little older, that style starts dragging down your face, and in Myrla's case, the look is even less successful if the hair is greasy looking and sticks to the sides of your face.

 

[Gator Stud]

42 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

On 9/17/2021 at 10:45 AM, LennieBriscoe said:

Bald. Dog. 

Not with a spouse. Nope.

Myrla is not all that like she thinks she is.  Average is more like it.  That straight hair has to go.  The eyelashes and shiny face too, while I’m at it, lol.  

 

I agree with both of you. There is nothing wrong with average. Most people are average or below average.

[endure]

On 9/16/2021 at 9:39 AM, Retired at last said:

She is like Myrla in that they both just want a husband. And like AJ in earlier seasons, they want a dinner partner. Period. Like Olivia, they want someone to be their "plus one."

The whole point of this show is to get married so of course Myrla and rachel want a husband and I don’t think either are willing to settle for just anyone to be married and AJ is currently still married and seems like they have a great relationship and more than a dinner partner.

[princelina]

21 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

The comments about Myrla should be a trophy wife confuse me as I think she would have if she could have, but instead she's on this show...just like when people think some of the 90-Day Fiance participants should find someone in the U.S.: they don't want the ones they maybe could be with.  I don't think Myrla is such a prize that a wealthy older person would seek her out.

Plus then she'd HAVE to put out - for someone way grosser than Gil probably 😂

[Gator Stud]

2 hours ago, princelina said:

Plus then she'd HAVE to put out - for someone way grosser than Gil probably 😂

Maybe she thinks a old guy with hair and a fat wallet is less gross than Gil.  I get that everybody has their tastes, but Gil is at least average- at least a 5. I assume his breath smells ok.

[buttersister]

Quote

I could give a peck to a random woman walking down the street and it not be a big deal.

It'd be a BFD to her. Possibly followed by a police report.

When Gil says he'll divorce Myrla if they haven't kissed by decision day, Myrla has all she needs to exit. Gil looks like a catch and, as many of us have been saying, will likely meet lots of potential next Mrs. Gils pretty soon. And Myrla can go back to looking for the man she told the experts she wanted.

[LennieBriscoe]

On 9/20/2021 at 3:41 AM, Gator Stud said:

Girlfriend needs to get something out of this too. Bao is not at shy as she appears. They are both happy with the sex and Johnny stopped talking about the snoring.  Sex solves everything.

That's a great punchline! 😉 

[kristen111]

23 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Frankly, I think all of these MAFS couples lie about their finances, and that includes Jose and his whiteboard.  Not that I blame them because I wouldn't want the public knowing about mine either, but if it's producer-driven the I'd lie, too.

Jose and his whiteboard.  He comes off like a show off.  He saves money, he invests money, he owns two houses.  Big whoop!  If he stays married, he will become a skinflint.  What happens if his wife, whoever that may be, wants to stay home for some reason, or he has a couple of kids?  There goes his white board.  All numbers will change.  He’ll put much less into all his funds.  Being single and being married are two different animals.

[buttersister]

Jose in his fantasy future: See kids, instead of buying you video games, I can put that money into this column on my finance board!

Kids: 

[Porkchop]

I expect to see Gil on Dancing With The Stars next season! He is an interesting and attractive man, maybe not perfect, but he does catch my eye. I hope for good things for him after Myrla is out of his life.

 

[Gator Stud]

15 hours ago, buttersister said:

Jose in his fantasy future: See kids, instead of buying you video games, I can put that money into this column on my finance board!

Kids: 

CPS Hotline:  Yes this is CPS.  What would you like to report?
Jose's kid: Yes my dad has been abusing me.

[Jeanne222]

16 hours ago, Porkchop said:

I expect to see Gil on Dancing With The Stars next season! He is an interesting and attractive man, maybe not perfect, but he does catch my eye. I hope for good things for him after Myrla is out of his life.

 

He always makes me wonder why he's still available???

[Rae Spellman]

3 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

He always makes me wonder why he's still available???

Gil and/or his friend mentioned that he's always attracted plenty of women. Gil told Myrla that his four longest relationships to date lasted 6 months to 1 year. 

Maybe he's available because until recently he wasn't interested in being with anyone for longer than a few seasons. Or maybe he meets tons of women that he's physically attracted to who are physically attracted to him but they just aren't compatible long term. 

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, Rae Spellman said:

Gil and/or his friend mentioned that he's always attracted plenty of women. Gil told Myrla that his four longest relationships to date lasted 6 months to 1 year. 

Maybe he's available because until recently he wasn't interested in being with anyone for longer than a few seasons. Or maybe he meets tons of women that he's physically attracted to who are physically attracted to him but they just aren't compatible long term. 

I think it's a tough lifestyle. I think that firefighters work something like 36 hours straight, then they have some days off and then they go back again. Not every potential partner can take that on. I used to work in a hospital and saw a lot of nurses marry firefighters and police officers. Part of the reason is that they understand the lifestyle that comes from working such unusual hours. So that could be part of it for Gil.

[Rae Spellman]

46 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I think it's a tough lifestyle. I think that firefighters work something like 36 hours straight, then they have some days off and then they go back again. Not every potential partner can take that on. 

Good point. In some places it's 72 hours on 72 hours off. I thought fire fighting was a fairly new career for him though. Too bad MAFS didn't pair him with a nurse.

[pdlinda]

1 hour ago, Rae Spellman said:

Good point. In some places it's 72 hours on 72 hours off. I thought fire fighting was a fairly new career for him though. Too bad MAFS didn't pair him with a nurse.

....or a fellow first responder (of some sort).  Just thinking out loud:  Maybe no one in those categories applied to be on the show.

[glitterpussy]

On 9/22/2021 at 9:08 AM, Jeanne222 said:

He always makes me wonder why he's still available???

My impression is he wanted to be on TV and thought it would fun. Not that he really wanted to be married. He seems like he's just playing along...although with Myrla who could blame him. He's the most attractive to me, very handsome and funny. She hit the jackpot and he got screwed--not literally of course😆

[Jeanne222]

23 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I think it's a tough lifestyle. I think that firefighters work something like 36 hours straight, then they have some days off and then they go back again. Not every potential partner can take that on. I used to work in a hospital and saw a lot of nurses marry firefighters and police officers. Part of the reason is that they understand the lifestyle that comes from working such unusual hours. So that could be part of it for Gil.

I read somewhere he’s only recently become a fireman !

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I read somewhere he’s only recently become a fireman !

He told Myrla that he was a personal trainer before he was a firefighter but I don't remember him saying how long ago that was...

 

[Jeanne222]

21 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

He told Myrla that he was a personal trainer before he was a firefighter but I don't remember him saying how long ago that was...

 

In my area fireman work 24 and are off 48. Most have second jobs so maybe he is still a trainer. He’s certainly fit!