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S13.E09: Could this be love?


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On 9/15/2021 at 9:55 PM, endure said:

I think she might learn, I didn't really get into cooking until I had someone to cook for.

There ya go! I never cooked one thing until I married at twenty-three (nor had a Driver's License, FTM). Following a cookbook isn't rocket surgery!

Edited by LennieBriscoe
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20 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Shes over the top in everything!

My husband was broke when we first met.  We bought cold cuts and Italian bread, then went to babysit for his sister and I was happy to just be with him and eat a sandwich.  Gil is finding out what means more to her.  Fancy things, fancy places.  It might seem cute to him now, but after awhile, it will grate on him.

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23 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

This restaurant is not for him.  He’s a neighborhood Diner guy.

I'd rather do a neighborhood diner too! My comment had more to do with eating at that restaurant on his salary.

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20 hours ago, Spectator said:

Yep. I can appreciate her unabashed love for the finer things. She totally owns that trait, which I respect. But I really struggle with her inability to compromise and her lack of consideration for whatever Gil might want or like (except for the one time when she gave him a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the honeymoon - that was cute). It’s her way or no way and that just won’t work in a marriage (unless you marry a doormat, which Gil most certainly is not).
 

Gil was spot on when he called her “extra”. 

OMG .. Gil has a good job, has values, is good looking, tall, nice body .. by this time, I would be all over him and give him the night of his life.  She’s a cold selfish bitch, and truthfully, doesn’t deserve him.  He needs an understanding, appreciative woman, which she is not!

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19 hours ago, Shauna said:

Every time I watch Unfiltered I ask myself:

Does Jamie watch herself on this show?  Wouldn't one do that so they could tweak themselves where necessary?

She's over the top with the opening.  Stupid.

Her skirts/dresses are too short, ride up too high, show too much leg (cellulite).

Her heels are too high causing her knees to sit way up high because she is tall.

And a question for all of you, anyone know when Unfiltered is tape in relation to what we are seeing on the show right now?

Another thing about Jamie.  I think she settled with Doug. She wanted stability and a family pronto.  House, kids, the whole enchalado.  I’m wondering too.  Where is this show taped .. wherever they are?  Unfiltered too?  Jamie moved from Jersey to Florida .. maybe because it’s less expensive to buy a house.

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19 hours ago, Spectator said:

Johnny seemed to want an easy going, sexually confident woman and he got a silly, hyper-organized perfectionist. I don’t dislike Bao, per se, I just don’t think they are well matched. So, chalk this one up to yet another mismatch this season. (Sigh)

Johnny didn’t care for her in college … he doesn’t care for her now.  He’s trying, but I don’t think it will work.

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16 hours ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

I've been married 31 years and my husband doesn't listen to a damn thing I say anymore.  But if Jose is starting a new marriage, with a woman he doesn't know, why isn't he listening to her?  If it's a problem this early, and Jose acknowledges it and thinks it's cute, I'd bail.  Why should she have to say everything twice?  Is he a toddler? A teenager? 

Regarding Michaela: That's exactly what I said to my husband (the one that doesn't listen to me anymore haha).  She was totally turning it around on him, making him the bad guy so that she didn't have to take responsibility for her actions.  

Men do not think like women I’ve realized.  Come to think about it .. they just go with the flow to keep the peace.  Jose thinks like a woman, but I don’t think he’s gay .. just a yenta.  If that makes any sense.  Changing subject, Ryan is looking for a model type.  He is not interested in Brett.  I really feel bad for her.  Another thing while I’m at it.  Does anyone here think these people on this show read our comments?  If I were on there, I would want to know what people think about the show and how I’m projected.  Anyone?

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 Your right nobody is criticizing if he's gay. And if you don't want the public  to comment on what you're doing, don't go on a TV show.  He knew he would be talked about and commented on and he chose to go on anyway.

I realize that none of the people who are here who are saying Jose is gay think being gay is bad. However, none of the people here who are saying Jose is gay actually know Jose. They have never met him. So they have to be basing their determination on what they see on tv - things like "effeminate mannerisms" and what fuels those observations are stereotypes about what a "typical" gay man is and does. Not to mention that believing Jose is gay also is tantamount to saying he is a liar and he is leading women on (Rachel; his prior girlfriend). I think that these types of judgements are inherently damaging and disrespectful. I also think they are fundamentally different from the types of judgements we all make (me included) about the way that people on reality shows treat their partners. It's one thing to say that Jose is overbearing about finances or Johnny is an indecisive buzz kill but it's another to say "I think Jose is gay because he's tidy and fastidious about his appearance and home (or whatever "evidence" people can see that is so strong that they feel they know better than Jose himself what his sexual orientation is). I think the former is fair game for people on reality shows but I think the latter perpetuates stereotypes that ultimately are damaging to the LGBTQ population.

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Jose thinks like a woman

What does this even mean?

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Gil is finding out what means more to her.  Fancy things, fancy places.

She said on Unfiltered that she asked him to sit on the balcony with her and watch the sunset and he told her he didn't like sunsets. So there's at least one free thing she enjoys doing.

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Here is where they were doing brunch.  Look at the prices. Look at his paycheck  That's what my man was tryna say.

Gil didn't give the answer I wanted him to give when Myrla asked about brunch each week. What I wanted him to say was, point blank, I can't afford brunch in a restaurant at this price point every week. How would we deal with that? Instead he made it about how he feels Myrla just wants a brunch buddy. I don't think there was a right answer she could give to what he said. She wants to go to brunch with her husband to upscale places each week. Her husband can't afford that. So is she a) asking him to reprioritize his budget so he can afford it?; b) offering to subsidize brunch so they can go?; c) willing to go to less expensive places or go less often so Gil can afford it?; d) some other option? I think hearing her response to such a pointed question would have been really telling but instead all we ended up with is "she wants to go to brunch with her husband and he thinks that any old husband would do."

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I honestly don’t know what Myrla was thinking when she decided to apply for this show.  She does not seem interested at all in meeting Gil halfway. Either she is getting a terrible edit or she is kind of an unpleasant human being.  She’s barely trying.

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2 hours ago, ByTor said:

Why is he responsible to pay?

I don't. 🤷‍♀️

Have you listened to Myrla before.  She said she would take a vacation solo and not chip in to take her husband.  Yet you think she wants to treat him at dinner?

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1 minute ago, Gator Stud said:

Have you listened to Myrla before.  She said she would take a vacation solo and not chip in to take her husband.  Yet you think she wants to treat him at dinner?

For a $21 burger? I wouldn't 😂

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2 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Bao is a little creepy scary.  She wants to be a parasite and crawl into his body?  The way she said it was creepy.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Bao is kind of creepy scary.  I know she thinks she's being cute, but it's a turnoff for Johnny.

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24 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I realize that none of the people who are here who are saying Jose is gay think being gay is bad. However, none of the people here who are saying Jose is gay actually know Jose. They have never met him. So they have to be basing their determination on what they see on tv - things like "effeminate mannerisms" and what fuels those observations are stereotypes about what a "typical" gay man is and does. Not to mention that believing Jose is gay also is tantamount to saying he is a liar

We probably wouldn't be thinking this so strongly if Puke had not lied about being gay in season 9. Blame this on the producers who matched a gay man with a straight women.  Now we are ask to ignore our gaydar?  Maybe he is a liar.  There have been so many liars on this show.  Basement Ryan, Lying Yoga Instructor Michael, Puke, Davina, Mia. I could go on.  So lying seems to be part of the deal.

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11 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Here is where they were doing brunch.  Look at the prices. Look at his paycheck  That's what my man was tryna say.

https://www.toulousecafeandbar.com/river-oaks-menu

Just want to say that this place looks wonderful and I would LOVE it. The prices are not that out of line for what the restaurant is, or where it is. (I'm from Boston.)  Would I eat at a restaurant like this several times a month? Probably not, but this place offers a lot of what I'm looking for when I want to treat myself.  I'm a little disappointed that the cocktail menu was not included on the website. 

BTW, I can't stand going out with someone who scrutinizes a menu and says "How much for a ....?"  Just a pet peeve of mine. I have so many friends who tell me when they go out with their husbands (or on dates) for dinner and want to order a drink and the hubbies are all like "$9 for a glass of wine, no way!" and then I thank my lucky stars I am no longer married. 😄

I can order what I want without someone commenting on it. 👍

Edited by cardigirl
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1 hour ago, Gator Stud said:

Have you listened to Myrla before.  She said she would take a vacation solo and not chip in to take her husband.  Yet you think she wants to treat him at dinner?

I don't remember her saying that but I do remember Olivia saying it about Brett in New Orleans.  Yet people were pretty supportive of Olivia. 

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2 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Have you listened to Myrla before.  She said she would take a vacation solo and not chip in to take her husband.  Yet you think she wants to treat him at dinner?

Gil could ask for separate checks. 😀 (A friend of mine does this and I cannot stand it. And my friend has plenty of money.)

Edited by Auntie Anxiety
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2 hours ago, Caseysgirl said:

I honestly don’t know what Myrla was thinking when she decided to apply for this show.  She does not seem interested at all in meeting Gil halfway. Either she is getting a terrible edit or she is kind of an unpleasant human being.  She’s barely trying.

Bald. Dog. 

54 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Gil could ask for separate checks. 😀 (A friend of mine does this and I cannot stand it. And my friend has plenty of money.)

Not with a spouse. Nope.

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3 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I realize that none of the people who are here who are saying Jose is gay think being gay is bad. However, none of the people here who are saying Jose is gay actually know Jose. They have never met him. So they have to be basing their determination on what they see on tv - things like "effeminate mannerisms" and what fuels those observations are stereotypes about what a "typical" gay man is and does. Not to mention that believing Jose is gay also is tantamount to saying he is a liar and he is leading women on (Rachel; his prior girlfriend). I think that these types of judgements are inherently damaging and disrespectful. I also think they are fundamentally different from the types of judgements we all make (me included) about the way that people on reality shows treat their partners. It's one thing to say that Jose is overbearing about finances or Johnny is an indecisive buzz kill but it's another to say "I think Jose is gay because he's tidy and fastidious about his appearance and home (or whatever "evidence" people can see that is so strong that they feel they know better than Jose himself what his sexual orientation is). I think the former is fair game for people on reality shows but I think the latter perpetuates stereotypes that ultimately are damaging to the LGBTQ population.

Thank you for saying so eloquently what I have been thinking. I am always uncomfortable with the speculation on sexual preference. There is no "right" way to be straight or gay, and I cannot fathom why someone who is actively trying to stay in the closet would expose themself to this level of scrutiny by lying and applying for this show. It just makes no sense.

2 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

We probably wouldn't be thinking this so strongly if Puke had not lied about being gay in season 9. Blame this on the producers who matched a gay man with a straight women. 

Luke is not gay. He just didn't want to be married to a blonde white girl and went about it the worst way.

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5 hours ago, ByTor said:

I'd rather do a neighborhood diner too! My comment had more to do with eating at that restaurant on his salary.

First of all, she claims she's loaded with $$$ to the point of buying all the items she frequently mention that fall into the category of ultra expensive.  Second of all, she knows (or should know) what a hero firefighter makes per year (she could look it up so she can't feign ignorance).  

My conclusion is if she desires to hammer away at the status vibe (where everything has a label) to establish her "privileged" social status, let HER pay for all this financial excess (my opinion).  Let HER slip her CC (that she pays off each month) on that little tray they present with the bill....don't forget the 20% tip...at least).  

Last, this should have been discussed before they left for the venue.  If Gil was uncomfortable with her paying then they could have compromised and either split the bill or agreed on another place. 

That would assume she wants the relationship to work; however, the more I see how she "operates" the less I'm convinced that's the case. 

Therefore, I hope Gil "smells the coffee" and acts accordingly until his contractual obligations are fulfilled with the show and he can move on to a much more successful match he can achieve on his own (after all the positive publicity he's received from his appearance on MAFS).  

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14 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

If it was a thirty dollar lunch, I feel ya. But they were eating here, and Fireman bro aint gonna be spending half his paycheck on brunches.  How much do you think a date would cost here? With drinks?

https://www.toulousecafeandbar.com/river-oaks-menu

Twice a month if they are both chipping in or taking turns paying which married people do then I don't see it as a big deal. Twice a week with only Gil paying, then big deal. That's not what she's asking for. If Gil wants a woman that is happy staying home every night and going to Wendy's once a month then maybe that's why he is (or was) still single. 

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40 minutes ago, ByTor said:

Myrla should have specifically said she is MOST attracted to bald guys with dogs. That way, she wouldn't have gotten either 😂

Sometimes I wish they would show us the specific expectations ..... ie their wants and needs when they applied.  Maybe Myrla did say she isn't attracted to bald guys,  I do kind of recall her mentioning that before she met him at the alter.  Maybe Gil requested a well dressed gal with great taste? I would expect there would be specific questions about pets, likes, dislikes, allergies etc.

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13 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Twice a month if they are both chipping in or taking turns paying which married people do then I don't see it as a big deal. Twice a week with only Gil paying, then big deal. That's not what she's asking for. If Gil wants a woman that is happy staying home every night and going to Wendy's once a month then maybe that's why he is (or was) still single. 

Myrla is also very into being fit and eating healthy, so eating out is something I think she plans for. When she does go out, she wants to make it an occasion. Nothing wrong with that.

Gil asked her why she picked that place and she told him she had seen a cocktail they offered in an article about the place, and she wanted to try it. What Gil was getting at, I think, was that she could possibly find the same food/experience elsewhere for less money but she picked the place solely because it was expensive. He was saying the just because something costs more doesn't make it better. And he might be right about many places, but honestly, I didn't think (after seeing the menu) that that place was that expensive.  But Myrla wanted to try the place for the food it specifically was offering and ended up liking it.

 

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44 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

My conclusion is if she desires to hammer away at the status vibe (where everything has a label) to establish her "privileged" social status, let HER pay for all this financial excess (my opinion).  Let HER slip her CC (that she pays off each month) on that little tray they present with the bill....don't forget the 20% tip...at least). 

Yep, my point exactly. It seemed to be assumed that he should be the one to pay. Why? If that's not his thing but it's hers, then it's up to her to be financially responsible for it (JMO).

21 minutes ago, endure said:

Maybe Myrla did say she isn't attracted to bald guys,  I do kind of recall her mentioning that before she met him at the alter.

I swear I remember that too.

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2 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:
3 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Gil could ask for separate checks. 😀 (A friend of mine does this and I cannot stand it. And my friend has plenty of money.)

Not with a spouse. Nope.

Not ever! Separate checks are the tackiest. In this Great Brunch Debate, my opinion is Myrla should pay if she chose the place.

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6 hours ago, ByTor said:

And...replying to myself. $21 for a burger??? Just my opinion, but whether I could afford it or not, I could think of things I'd rather spend my money on. 

She probably looks down on fast food too.  Even millionaires crave McDonalds and Taco Bell and Kentucky Fried Chicken, lol.

23 minutes ago, ByTor said:

Yep, my point exactly. It seemed to be assumed that he should be the one to pay. Why? If that's not his thing but it's hers, then it's up to her to be financially responsible for it (JMO).

I swear I remember that too.

Bet he could grow out his own head of hair.

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She wants to be a parasite and crawl into his body? 

Please tell me she was kidding. 

Myrla staying on her phone while getting the foot massage: Revenge for him shitting on watching sunsets or her fear of putting it down and looking at him in the eye while he is massaging her?

And WTF about hating sunsets? Revenge for her general nature or PTSD because they are the colors of fire?

Edited by buttersister
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5 hours ago, Caseysgirl said:

I honestly don’t know what Myrla was thinking when she decided to apply for this show.  She does not seem interested at all in meeting Gil halfway. Either she is getting a terrible edit or she is kind of an unpleasant human being.  She’s barely trying.

There’s lots of things she doesn’t like, like going to peoples house, having Barbques, being with the couples, etc.  WTF does she want?  Everything her way or the highway?  Not marriage material at all.  I cannot see her with kids either.  She would have to sacrifice forever.  She would come LAST.  A Mother sacrifices for her children.

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1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Twice a month if they are both chipping in or taking turns paying which married people do then I don't see it as a big deal. Twice a week with only Gil paying, then big deal. That's not what she's asking for. If Gil wants a woman that is happy staying home every night and going to Wendy's once a month then maybe that's why he is (or was) still single. 

there's kind of a happy medium between this fancy/expensive restaurant and wendy's

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22 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

She probably looks down on fast food too.  Even millionaires crave McDonalds and Taco Bell and Kentucky Fried Chicken, lol.

If you're trying to eat healthy then those places are not the way to go. Neither are French restaurants, per se, but especially fast food. It's killer.  

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21 hours ago, Retired at last said:

 I felt embarrassed for her when she said that she had written all of those compliment cards for him and he had nothing to say. I am sure he was uncomfortable seeing all of that affection towards him when he had nothing to return. He didn't even seem to be able to form ONE nice thing to say and it must be actually difficult for him, as well as miserable for her.

I am mystified as to how she could be that bad at reading the room, not just at the time she was flooding him with all those compliments, but repeatedly in terms of recognizing how/where he is or is not at with her.  So it makes me wonder, what was her intent?  Did she think that if she complimented him and made clear how much she liked him, that it would make him like her?  Or that the complimenting of him would somehow make him start thinking of compliments about her?  Or that maybe he was holding back on his feelings for her because of not knowing how she felt about him, and this way she could let him know how she felt, so he could then feel free to express his feelings for her?  

Unless, of course, it's like the Nick and Sonia fake-out (where they were actually being physical and we didn't know it), and in this case, Ryan actually does say and do things that make her feel like he cares and is into her, but we don't get to see it.  But that seems very unlikely, given how she told the folks at the party that she has no idea how he feels about her and that he won't really say even when she asks.

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5 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

But that seems very unlikely, given how she told the folks at the party that she has no idea how he feels about her and that he won't really say even when she asks.

As I've commented before, Ryan presents as if he's in a "hostage" situation.  He appears to be on automatic "overdrive" to try and appear engaged but not at all "plugged in" to Brett and/or the show. 

He simply appears to be marking time until his contractual obligations are fulfilled to the show to make his swift getaway.  He's not alone.  I get that vibe from others.

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Well, he DID tell Pastor Cal that he likes her (which was the first time she heard that), but that he wasn't feeling romantically connected YET. I still can't believe all those cards! I don't think I could think of 100 things to say about someone who I have known forever!

 

ETA - I think of all of the couples, she is the only one I will be sorry that she gets hurt. She really likes him and she really wants this.

Edited by Retired at last
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21 hours ago, Retired at last said:

Rachel's face continues to contradict her words. She is NOT happy with Jose, even though she claims to be. He is not letting her be herself at all and she is never going to be good enough. He is never going to trust her ("once a cheater, always a cheater.") and will continually let her know. And, I do get that, but then end it now. She is like Myrla in that they both just want a husband. And like AJ in earlier seasons, they want a dinner partner. Period. Like Olivia, they want someone to be their "plus one."

I don't think it's that simple.  I think she is quite happy with him...he is very complimentary, he seems kind, he likes to do the fun activities that she has been wanting to do, he will be a good provider, he is outgoing and friendly, they appear to be physically attracted to each other, and they seem to be on the same page about having a family.  So I don't think that she would be happy with just anyone, in order to get a husband, especially as over-the-moon as she appears to be about him.  I think the issue is that she is minimizing the red flags that she has seen.

OK, silly side note on this subject...every time I hear about a situation like this, in terms of how someone just wants a spouse so it could really be anyone and they'd be happy with the choice, I think of the Brady Bunch episode with Greg getting offered the chance to be a new rock star called Johnny Bravo.  He thinks it's because he's charismatic and a good singer, but it turns out he was only offered the job because he "fit the suit", literally he fit the glitzy jumpsuit that had been designed for whoever became Johnny Bravo.  So...this is like saying that Rachel likes Jose because he "fit the suit".  Anyone else as old as I am, to get my reference? 😊

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17 hours ago, Empress1 said:

There was something I liked about how Rachel said she and Jose were sitting around watching TV when she said she loved him. It grounded their relationship a bit - they weren’t doing show-provided goat yoga, they were just chilling at home doing what most of us do.

I liked how she did the fake-out about how it went when she told him I Love You.  We need to see more of the silly/casual/fun side of these folks.

9 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Gil didn't give the answer I wanted him to give when Myrla asked about brunch each week. What I wanted him to say was, point blank, I can't afford brunch in a restaurant at this price point every week. How would we deal with that? Instead he made it about how he feels Myrla just wants a brunch buddy. I don't think there was a right answer she could give to what he said. She wants to go to brunch with her husband to upscale places each week. Her husband can't afford that. So is she a) asking him to reprioritize his budget so he can afford it?; b) offering to subsidize brunch so they can go?; c) willing to go to less expensive places or go less often so Gil can afford it?; d) some other option? I think hearing her response to such a pointed question would have been really telling but instead all we ended up with is "she wants to go to brunch with her husband and he thinks that any old husband would do."

I think that part of the reason that he mainly mentioned the brunch buddy part, is that it was a new concept that arose at the restaurant, rather than a pre-existing one, like the money conversation has clearly been.  That being said, it is mystifying why he hasn't just point blank laid it out like Elizzikra did and ask Myrla, which would make it so much clearer for him.  I don't get the sense that she has considered at all the financial impact on him of her wanting to (frequently) go to these places that are so much beyond his financial means.  It is unfair for her to ask him to use his already meager salary to now pay for a lifestyle that is over his head, even if he is only paying for his half (I actually don't get the sense that she expects him to pay for her half, given how she has talked before). 

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1 hour ago, cinsays said:

there's kind of a happy medium between this fancy/expensive restaurant and wendy's

If I'm going to eat out I want it as good or better than I can make at home or what's the point?  And as far as fast food, I would rather make a quick grilled cheese or omelet etc at home too!  I think I might be a lot like Myrla ha ha

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Rachel should have kept her cheating on her ex to herself. It happened a long time ago, she was much younger then. Why bring it up now? Stupid move. Jose ain't gonna forget that. 

I've been with my hubs for 28 yrs. There are a couple of things he doesn't know about me from my past many, many years ago from before I met him and he never will. It has no effect on our relationship what so ever. It's not a crime keeping some things to yourself.

Edited by bichonblitz
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8 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Gil didn't give the answer I wanted him to give when Myrla asked about brunch each week. What I wanted him to say was, point blank, I can't afford brunch in a restaurant at this price point every week.

He is embarrassed to admit that to America.  That's why he didnt say that. Even though any viewer with a calculator and internet could figure that out.  I think he will eventually quit the force to get a higher paying job.

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17 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

He is embarrassed to admit that to America.  That's why he didnt say that. Even though any viewer with a calculator and internet could figure that out.  I think he will eventually quit the force to get a higher paying job.

What makes you think he'll quit the FD? 

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