S13.E07: Home, Not Alone

[Gator Stud]

2 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Maybe Myrla doesn't want the headaches, expenses, and taxes that come with a house, being a single woman.

As for making "more sense" or "no sense," what exactly does "sense" mean here? 

"Her tiny apartment doesn't justify her expenses." Um, Myrla is making a deliberate and purposeful trade-off here.  Are you implying that she must either live large to spend large, or live frugally and also spend little? 

I don't get it. 

JocelynCavanaugh, I wish I could ❤ your above post multiple  times!

 

It makes no sense because she lives in a tiny apartment in Houston. I could get why should wouldnt want to own a house.  But the apartment is way too small for Houston. If she had a nice apartment, I could still understand that.  But she doesnt. And she doesnt live in NYC or LA, so I dont understand why.  I think she spends rent money on clothes. She could have a place twice as large for $300/month more. I lived in a better place when I was in grad school and had no money.   So I just dont get it.

[StatisticalOutlier]

12 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

You dont want to live in the Outer Loop in Houston.  Its a cultural wasteland.

Then why did you suggest it for Myrla?  Or actually, the >2,000 square foot house you linked to is in a golf course community 15 miles as the crow flies outside of the Inner Loop.  It's not even inside the Beltway (second loop).  Not a single thing we've seen about Myrla tells me she would want anything to do with it.

(What I find amusing is that one of the features it touts is a sauna.  Um, Houston is a sauna.)

I'd be more inclined to put Myrla near Rice, like where you chose to live, which is a very nice area close to the action.  Or the Galleria, where you say she is (and where I think she belongs).

3 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

I think she spends rent money on clothes. She could have a place twice as large for $300/month more. I lived in a better place when I was in grad school and had no money.   So I just dont get it.

I don't remember her apartment, except for the pictures of her doing backbends on the beach.  What was so awful about it? 

I've lived in one-bedroom apartments almost all of my adult life, and certainly when I was Myrla's age (and beyond).  I could easily have afforded a two-bedroom apartment, but I never really even considered it because I didn't need or even want a bigger space, and I found one-bedroom apartments that I liked.  

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Who was the Puerto Rican who was bald last season but sometimes grew out his hair? 

Vinnie? Bald but with a beard? Worked on teaching his wife Spanish and bought her a bike?

[Matty]

Who has an entire wall of photos of themselves posing on rocks and mountains? Wait. I know who does. Myrla. Hopelessly self-absorbed.

Edited September 7, 2021 by Matty

[Gator Stud]

3 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Then why did you suggest it for Myrla?  Or actually, the >2,000 square foot house you linked to is in a golf course community 15 miles as the crow flies outside of the Inner Loop.  It's not even inside the Beltway (second loop).  Not a single thing we've seen about Myrla tells me she would want anything to do with it.

(What I find amusing is that one of the features it touts is a sauna.  Um, Houston is a sauna.)

I'd be more inclined to put Myrla near Rice, like where you chose to live, which is a very nice area close to the action.  Or the Galleria, where you say she is (and where I think she belongs).

I don't remember her apartment, except for the pictures of her doing backbends on the beach.  What was so awful about it? 

I've lived in one-bedroom apartments almost all of my adult life, and certainly when I was Myrla's age (and beyond).  I could easily have afforded a two-bedroom apartment, but I never really even considered it because I didn't need or even want a bigger space, and I found one-bedroom apartments that I liked.  

I didnt say she should live in the Outer Loop. I just said with $50K+ of clothes in her tiny closet, she needs to get a bigger apartment- or else that means she is spending too much on clothes and not enough on a living space.  I know an undocumented worker in Houston who has a better place.  Her apartment is atrocious for Houston.  Her clothes barely fit in her closet.  Galleria is a great area to live, not my style but it is considered Inner Loop. But if she didnt spend so much on clothes she could easily afford a really nice apartment or house.  Thats all I am saying.  I would never advise anybody to live Outer Loop.

[StatisticalOutlier]

4 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I didnt say she should live in the Outer Loop. I just said with $50K+ of clothes in her tiny closet, she needs to get a bigger apartment- or else that means she is spending too much on clothes and not enough on a living space. 

I guess I misunderstood when you said, "she could be living here" and linked to a particular house.

[CSunshine76]

I’m just glad to find out I bought my house and live in the “cultural wasteland” that is suburban Houston. 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

Lots of very nice places to live outside the loop. And SAFE. Safe places!

[Rae Spellman]

13 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Why do so many young black men with long beautiful hair, cut it bald? Thats not something guys with straight beautiful hair normally do.

Who was the Puerto Rican who was bald last season but sometimes grew out his hair? 

I agree that the pictures an organization posts for recruiting or PR purposes are sometimes smoke and mirrors.

Vincent, Brianna's husband was Dominican. Gil is Columbian.

Where I live the bald black guys are often shaving their heads for the same reason North Carolina Jaime does. Oddly enough, I can't imagine Gil with long, beautiful hair. I don't even like Woody like that. Yet, my impulse is to say he's no Woody. That leads me to wonder if Myrla would have done better with a Houston-esque Woody. For whatever reason, I think there are guys she would treat better than she's treating Gil. 

[princelina]

On 9/6/2021 at 8:32 PM, Gator Stud said:

No I would never lived there.  I lived near Rice University. Most Black men grew their hair during Covid and many are never going back to being bald. Zack has hair. I think he is in Finance. But Finance could mean anything. Didnt Michael from the other season say he was in Finance, but it turned out he cleaned yoga studios.

I believe he said he was in education, which turned out to be running an after-school program.  Didn't he also tell his wife that he had a job interview for a principal or something at a catholic school but he turned it down?  And then it turned out he was lying about that too?

[Yeah No]

17 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I'm just telling you how it is.  Maybe you know differently, from your experiences. Pictures lie.  I was in a promo for a company that I worked for that is getting sued for racial discrimination. Blacks have to do all this stuff to fit in. We dont talk about it all the time, so you dont probably know about it.  Ask yourself this: Why do so many young black men with long beautiful hair, cut it bald? Thats not something guys with straight beautiful hair normally do. Its not a trend/style. Good Blacks are bald and have short hair.  Post-COVID that has all gone out of the window. But it was a thing. I have Black friends who are cops who tell me they have to do stuff to fit in.  They have to suppress who they are.  But back to the show. Who was the Puerto Rican who was bald last season but sometimes grew out his hair? 

I have to say that based on my experience men of all backgrounds alter their appearance to fit into their particular career culture.  My very white nephew was going to college for marketing when he told his mother he wanted to get a full sleeve of tattoos.  She told him that unless he wanted to wear long sleeves at work for the rest of his life not to do it.  And he didn't!  And let's not forget the young white men that would prefer to wear man buns, pony tails and piercings, but that wouldn't go over in the stodgy white collar world either.  So this is by far not something that only affects men of color and it's the expectation in many careers including the police and fire departments.  Although I have heard that recently some police and emergency services depts. have relaxed their rules about stuff like hairstyles and tattoos.  I see more reason to think that Gil's choice of hairstyle has more to do with either personal choice or his being a firefighter than anything else because it's well known that they are expected to either have short hair or hair tied up and under a helmet.

[LennieBriscoe]

17 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I didnt say she should live in the Outer Loop. I just said with $50K+ of clothes in her tiny closet, she needs to get a bigger apartment- or else that means she is spending too much on clothes and not enough on a living space.  I know an undocumented worker in Houston who has a better place.  Her apartment is atrocious for Houston.  Her clothes barely fit in her closet.  Galleria is a great area to live, not my style but it is considered Inner Loop. But if she didnt spend so much on clothes she could easily afford a really nice apartment or house.  Thats all I am saying.  I would never advise anybody to live Outer Loop.

But the problem is---Myrla isn't complaining! Except for wanting married life, she appears pretty content with her living arrangement. Can she live "better" elsewhere? Perhaps. I'll give her the credit for being able to determine that on her own. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Am I completely non-judgmental of MAFS participants? Certainly not! I thought Tom With The Bus was inconsiderate in wanting realtor Lilly to live as he; that Haley was a snob towards 80s Jake; that Chris was sociopathic with Paige; etc. 

But to whom is Myrla being inconsiderate, snobbish, or sociopathic?  Or even mean?

Is she self-centered? As opposed to whom, the rest of the cast of Camera-Shunning Shrinking Violets? 

I have a photo of just myself displayed on a bookshelf. It's the only photo of me in college prior to graduation. It helps me remember that day, the people involved, those years, and that "me." I can imagine the single Myrla wanting her reminders, also.

 

 

 

 

Edited September 8, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Gator Stud]

16 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

I’m just glad to find out I bought my house and live in the “cultural wasteland” that is suburban Houston. 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

Lots of very nice places to live outside the loop. And SAFE. Safe places!

Sorry didnt mean to insult you.  I've got friends who live there too.  I am not this much of an asshole IRL. Pearland is where you go when you want to have children and dont really go out much. But it is not as bad as I am making it out to be.  Its just not my vibe.  I could see Ryan living there.  But it looks like he lives Midtown/Washington. Myrla would never live in the Outer Loop.

14 hours ago, Rae Spellman said:

I agree that the pictures an organization posts for recruiting or PR purposes are sometimes smoke and mirrors.

Vincent, Brianna's husband was Dominican. Gil is Columbian.

Where I live the bald black guys are often shaving their heads for the same reason North Carolina Jaime does. Oddly enough, I can't imagine Gil with long, beautiful hair. I don't even like Woody like that. Yet, my impulse is to say he's no Woody. That leads me to wonder if Myrla would have done better with a Houston-esque Woody. For whatever reason, I think there are guys she would treat better than she's treating Gil. 

Gil looks way better than Woody and is way more mature.  Plus he lived with his grandma. No way Myrla is down with that.

[Gator Stud]

13 hours ago, princelina said:

I believe he said he was in education, which turned out to be running an after-school program.  Didn't he also tell his wife that he had a job interview for a principal or something at a catholic school but he turned it down?  And then it turned out he was lying about that too?

He lied about his odometer mileage, so yes he lies about everything.  What do you do with someone like that?

[Gator Stud]

12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I have to say that based on my experience men of all backgrounds alter their appearance to fit into their particular career culture.  My very white nephew was going to college for marketing when he told his mother he wanted to get a full sleeve of tattoos.  She told him that unless he wanted to wear long sleeves at work for the rest of his life not to do it.  And he didn't!  And let's not forget the young white men that would prefer to wear man buns, pony tails and piercings, but that wouldn't go over in the stodgy white collar world either.  So this is by far not something that only affects men of color and it's the expectation in many careers including the police and fire departments.  Although I have heard that recently some police and emergency services depts. have relaxed their rules about stuff like hairstyles and tattoos.  I see more reason to think that Gil's choice of hairstyle has more to do with either personal choice or his being a firefighter than anything else because it's well known that they are expected to either have short hair or hair tied up and under a helmet.

There is a huge difference between not getting tattoos or having a man bun and not being allowed to have your natural hair. It got so bad that states had to ban the practice. Who knows why Gil shaves his head.  I know the Black professional community extremely well. When I worked for Dan Duncan at Enterprise Products, my boss told me to have a bald head and not to have a beard to be taken seriously.  He had 4 inches of slicked back hair AND a beard. When working for Kinder Morgan, it was even more conservative for Blacks working there. This hair rule has been an inside joke for Blacks living in Houston for a while. Thats why I've been analyzing the Black contestants in Corporate America on this show particularly.  Ryan came out looking well.  I think Gil will come out looking well and still employable. I dont see how Machaela recovers her professional rep after people people  watch this show.

[Crashcourse]

9 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

He lied about his odometer mileage, so yes he lies about everything.  What do you do with someone like that?

I forgot about the odometer mileage.  😅 

[CSunshine76]

12 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

Sorry didnt mean to insult you.  I've got friends who live there too.  I am not this much of an asshole IRL. Pearland is where you go when you want to have children and dont really go out much. But it is not as bad as I am making it out to be.  Its just not my vibe.  I could see Ryan living there.  But it looks like he lives Midtown/Washington. Myrla would never live in the Outer Loop.

Gil looks way better than Woody and is way more mature.  Plus he lived with his grandma. No way Myrla is down with that.

At least I’m in The Woodlands, not Pearland. Ha!  But yes, there’s a reason people move to the suburbs. And given these show participants want to be married and have families, it makes sense that’s where some of them live.

[Crashcourse]

1 minute ago, Gator Stud said:

I dont see how Machaela recovers her professional rep after people people  watch this show.

I don't either.

[Gator Stud]

7 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

But the problem is---Myrla isn't complaining! Except for wanting married life, she appears pretty content with her living arrangement. Can she live "better" elsewhere? Perhaps. I'll give her the credit for being able to determine that on her own. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Am I completely non-judgmental of MAFS participants? Certainly not! I thought Tom With The Bus was inconsiderate in wanting realtor Lilly to live as he; that Haley was a snob towards 80s Jake; that Chris was sociopathic with Paige; etc. 

But to whom is Myrla being inconsiderate, snobbish, or sociopathic?  Or even mean?

Is she self-centered? As opposed to whom, the rest of the cast of Camera-Shunning Shrinking Violets? 

I have a photo of just myself displayed on a bookshelf. It's the only photo of me in college prior to graduation. It helps me remember that day, the people involved, those years, and that "me." I can imagine the single Myrla wanting her reminders, also.

 

 

 

 

I dont think Myrla is a psychopath. She is treating Gil far better than Puke treated Katy.  But Puke did sleep with Katy.

1 minute ago, CSunshine76 said:

At least I’m in The Woodlands, not Pearland. Ha!  But yes, there’s a reason people move to the suburbs. And given these show participants want to be married and have families, it makes sense that’s where some of them live.

Woodlands>> Pearland. Is Exxon still in the Woodlands? I still have many friends who still work for them. Myrla might be ok with the Woodlands, but I dont think any or the couples live there.  I think Johnny might live in Bellaire.

[princelina]

15 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

He lied about his odometer mileage, so yes he lies about everything.  What do you do with someone like that?

Kick his keister down the road, like his wife (Meka?) did!! 😂😂😂

[JocelynCavanaugh]

The Woodlands has a bitchin TJ Maxx/HomeGoods. I got my Le Creuset cereal bowls there!

[LennieBriscoe]

38 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

The Woodlands has a bitchin TJ Maxx/HomeGoods. I got my Le Creuset cereal bowls there!

Dang, I just got back from my TJM ( literally right behind my block), looking for LC to no avail! But I picked up an awesome Dooney & Bourke for less than half price! 👍

I digress. Startin' to be like Myrla for a sec. 🤭

I have in-laws in The Woodlands. I imagine Myrla might just aspire to living there. Heck, if it weren't in Texas, I would! 😁

[Gator Stud]

1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Dang, I just got back from my TJM ( literally right behind my block), looking for LC to no avail! But I picked up an awesome Dooney & Bourke for less than half price! 👍

I digress. Startin' to be like Myrla for a sec. 🤭

I have in-laws in The Woodlands. I imagine Myrla might just aspire to living there. Heck, if it weren't in Texas, I would! 😁

If you really want to see Myrla suffer, make her move to LA.  She would have no chance.  Dating is horrible for women here. If Gil moved to LA he would clean up.

[Yeah No]

On 9/8/2021 at 2:16 PM, Gator Stud said:

There is a huge difference between not getting tattoos or having a man bun and not being allowed to have your natural hair. It got so bad that states had to ban the practice. Who knows why Gil shaves his head.  I know the Black professional community extremely well. When I worked for Dan Duncan at Enterprise Products, my boss told me to have a bald head and not to have a beard to be taken seriously.  He had 4 inches of slicked back hair AND a beard. When working for Kinder Morgan, it was even more conservative for Blacks working there. This hair rule has been an inside joke for Blacks living in Houston for a while. Thats why I've been analyzing the Black contestants in Corporate America on this show particularly.  Ryan came out looking well.  I think Gil will come out looking well and still employable. I dont see how Machaela recovers her professional rep after people people  watch this show.

I'm pretty sure that things are changing rapidly these days in most cities.  I can't speak for Houston of course but in the Northeast, especially where I'm from alternative black hairstyles have always been more accepted.  Plus we are talking about Gil, a firefighter in 2021, not Corporate finance some time ago.  

But anyway I was just watching a new firefighter episode of "Guy's Grocery Games" featuring one African American firefighter from the Atlanta FD named Chris - I took a screenshot of him below where I see clearly that he is most likely not being told to alter his hair to fit in with white culture.  He is wearing a bandana but people often do that in competitions when they have longer hair to keep it and perspiration out of the food.

 

 

Edited September 9, 2021 by Yeah No

[Crashcourse]

Now I'm sorry I ever mentioned Gil's bald head.  ☺️

Edited September 9, 2021 by Crashcourse

[TheBride]

Johnny has to navigate out of his brain! Thinks too much.

[TheBride]

Wow, Michaela really is more immature. She just panics. Girl needs to chill.

[Rae Spellman]

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I'm pretty sure that things are changing rapidly these days in most cities.  I can't speak for Houston of course but in the Northeast, especially where I'm from alternative black hairstyles have always been more accepted.  Plus we are talking about Gil, a firefighter in 2021, not Corporate finance some time ago.  

Yeah. Gil doesn't work in corporate America. If conforming is what he's doing, it seems to have taken him less far than it did Atlanta Ryan.  It could be something that's turning Myrla off. Or maybe not.  Either way I appreciate the dissenting voices that agree that Myrla absolutely does not owe Gil a kiss.

The experiences mentioned previously are some black experiences not the black experience. On MAFS, and in the world the guys live in off camera, Miles, Woody, Zack, etc. don't have to make Gil or North Carolina Greg-type hair choices to be considered good.

[Jeanne222]

4 hours ago, TheBride said:

Wow, Michaela really is more immature. She just panics. Girl needs to chill.

Isn’t she quite younger than her sisters. I bet she’s always been spoiled rotten!

[LennieBriscoe]

On 9/8/2021 at 2:16 PM, Gator Stud said:

There is a huge difference between not getting tattoos or having a man bun and not being allowed to have your natural hair. It got so bad that states had to ban the practice. Who knows why Gil shaves his head.  I know the Black professional community extremely well. When I worked for Dan Duncan at Enterprise Products, my boss told me to have a bald head and not to have a beard to be taken seriously.  He had 4 inches of slicked back hair AND a beard. When working for Kinder Morgan, it was even more conservative for Blacks working there. This hair rule has been an inside joke for Blacks living in Houston for a while. Thats why I've been analyzing the Black contestants in Corporate America on this show particularly.  Ryan came out looking well.  I think Gil will come out looking well and still employable. I dont see how Machaela recovers her professional rep after people people  watch this show.

Gator Stud, I humbly thank you for motivating me to learn more of racial hair discrimination, a Civil Rights issue that was, and still is in places,  a very serious hindrance not only to Black employment but also to education and even to housing.

I did "get it" 55 years ago when I read "The Autobiography of Malcolm X," wherein he describes the oft-painful and always-humiliating "straightening" procedures. I remember the controversy of Angela Davis and her Afro. I do get outraged when I read even now of Black children's having their hair forcibly cut by teachers and coaches.  

I just never put it all together enough to read up on the social and legal history: that the Federal Government didn't cover this in the Civil Rights Act of 1964; and that states are able to pass, or not, their own laws banning discrimination against natural hair and its styling. 

A TL;DR way of saying that Gil might have chosen baldness as a current fashion statement, or maybe for other, sadder reasons. 

 

[LennieBriscoe]

9 hours ago, Rae Spellman said:

Yeah. Gil doesn't work in corporate America. If conforming is what he's doing, it seems to have taken him less far than it did Atlanta Ryan.  It could be something that's turning Myrla off. Or maybe not.  Either way I appreciate the dissenting voices that agree that Myrla absolutely does not owe Gil a kiss.

The experiences mentioned previously are some black experiences not the black experience. On MAFS, and in the world the guys live in off camera, Miles, Woody, Zack, etc. don't have to make Gil or North Carolina Greg-type hair choices to be considered good.

But it was "the black experience," and where it is not the Black experience today is only because of courageous women (most early legal challenges dealt with the natural hair of Black women) and men upon whose proverbial shoulders "Miles, Woody, Zack, etc." stand. 

[pdlinda]

20 hours ago, TheBride said:

Wow, Michaela really is more immature. She just panics. Girl needs to chill.

Michaela's tantrums may not be volitional or symptoms of "immaturity". 

She may be suffering from untreated/undiagnosed mental health condition(s) that may be treatable. 

I cannot understand (and I posted other comments in this vein before) that a woman who is so obviously "out of control" (we only see the relationship aspect of her behaviors, but there could be other serious symptoms in other aspects of her life) that may impede her from living a quality, functional and productive life.

If she were suffering from serious physical symptoms wouldn't she consult a doctor for answers and treatment???

[Rae Spellman]

9 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

But it was "the black experience," and where it is not the Black experience today is only because of courageous women (most early legal challenges dealt with the natural hair of Black women) and men upon whose proverbial shoulders "Miles, Woody, Zack, etc." stand. 

Oh, I get that. I agree about the courageous women and men. 

I was pushing back against the idea that an Afro-Latino firefighter born in the 1980s was likely to be ostracized or limited professionally if he grew his hair out an inch or two before March 2020. 

While the conversation focused on Gil, Michaela, Amani, Karen, Iris, and Deonna wore/wear their hair in its natural texture without a weave or other extensions at least some of the time on MAFS. Deonna has a MBA. Yes, I saw that she straightened her hair for the work zoom call on Couples Cam. 😃

I agree about the courageous women and men. 

[Kira53]

On 9/8/2021 at 6:23 AM, LennieBriscoe said:

But the problem is---Myrla isn't complaining! Except for wanting married life, she appears pretty content with her living arrangement. Can she live "better" elsewhere? Perhaps. I'll give her the credit for being able to determine that on her own. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Am I completely non-judgmental of MAFS participants? Certainly not! I thought Tom With The Bus was inconsiderate in wanting realtor Lilly to live as he; that Haley was a snob towards 80s Jake; that Chris was sociopathic with Paige; etc. 

But to whom is Myrla being inconsiderate, snobbish, or sociopathic?  Or even mean?

Is she self-centered? As opposed to whom, the rest of the cast of Camera-Shunning Shrinking Violets? 

I have a photo of just myself displayed on a bookshelf. It's the only photo of me in college prior to graduation. It helps me remember that day, the people involved, those years, and that "me." I can imagine the single Myrla wanting her reminders, also.

 

 

 

 

 

6 hours ago, pdlinda said:

Michaela's tantrums may not be volitional or symptoms of "immaturity". 

She may be suffering from untreated/undiagnosed mental health condition(s) that may be treatable. 

I cannot understand (and I posted other comments in this vein before) that a woman who is so obviously "out of control" (we only see the relationship aspect of her behaviors, but there could be other serious symptoms in other aspects of her life) that may impede her from living a quality, functional and productive life.

If she were suffering from serious physical symptoms wouldn't she consult a doctor for answers and treatment???

Most likely Michaela does not believe she has a problem. Like many people with unjustified anger they blame the other person rather than saying they should have better control themselves of their emotions. She’s the kind of person you can’t even bring it up with because she will bring that anger on you!  These are very difficult people to treat because they believe other people are responsible for their bad behaviors and if the other people just would not provoke them everything would be fine. In treatment you have to be very delicate and pointing out their lack of taking responsibility for their own emotions and behaviors. One of the new tricks is to ask in the beginning of the session who was giving them problems this week because that’s their perspective, not that they had problems this week with their own behavior.  

They can be very verbally aggressive and nasty to their counselors for not “understanding them” and many counselors avoid taking them as clients if they see that coming in a phone call.  the more experience you have, you can tell right away the potential issues. They usually just come to therapy to justify that they have to do what they’ve been doing.  If the therapist doesn’t agree with them that they’re being victimized by others they quit pretty quick.

[princelina]

On 9/9/2021 at 10:05 PM, Rae Spellman said:

Yeah. Gil doesn't work in corporate America. If conforming is what he's doing, it seems to have taken him less far than it did Atlanta Ryan.  It could be something that's turning Myrla off. Or maybe not.  Either way I appreciate the dissenting voices that agree that Myrla absolutely does not owe Gil a kiss.

Just a technicality - but I do not believe she owes him a kiss.  I do believe that if she's here to participate in what they used to call "the experiment" (also known as "for the right reasons" 😃 ) she would do it, and if she refuses everything up until decision day I don't want to hear that she "tried her hardest".  Not because she "owes him" but because living with a husband for 2 months and not even a peck = not trying, which is fine if you just don't want to try at all.  But then you shouldn't have come on this show.  (Now if Paige had refused I would understand that because Chris was a total douchebag; she had no reason to try at all.  Stashley made it clear from day 1 that she hated her husband and was NOT going to try - and didn't we find out later that she was on the show to make an ex-boyfriend jealous or something?  Jamie O. didn't care for her husband but eventually tried it out because she was actually trying.)

[Blissfool]

 

On 9/8/2021 at 2:10 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

I have in-laws in The Woodlands. I imagine Myrla might just aspire to living there. Heck, if it weren't in Texas, I would! 😁

If The Woodlands is considered a wasteland, I'm packing my bags and moving to the wasteland. I've been there once for a concert and loved it

[Auntie Anxiety]

23 hours ago, pdlinda said:

Michaela's tantrums may not be volitional or symptoms of "immaturity". 

She may be suffering from untreated/undiagnosed mental health condition(s) that may be treatable. 

 

17 hours ago, Kira53 said:

Most likely Michaela does not believe she has a problem. 

Read my earlier posts. I’m going all in on Borderline Personality Disorder. Personality disorders are not treatable, by and large. They are deeply ingrained and resistant to therapy because the disordered person doesn’t believe that s/he has a problem. It’s the rest of the world that needs to change.

[Kiss my mutt]

My husband walked by when Cal asked Brett and Ryan if they wanted to have sex, and said, “whoa is he propositioning them”?

I envy those who have someone at home to watch this with! 
 

[pdlinda]

On 9/10/2021 at 9:00 PM, princelina said:

I do believe that if she's here to participate in what they used to call "the experiment" (also known as "for the right reasons" 😃 ) she would do it, and if she refuses everything up until decision day I don't want to hear that she "tried her hardest".

The comment I have about the Myrla situation is that when she trotted down the aisle in that extremely revealing, skin-tight wedding dress (having a nude-type slip and ample bosom exposure) one might reasonably conclude that she was choosing to give the impression of "romance" in a physical way.  Had she chosen a wedding dress with a high neck, long sleeves and total coverage in a silhouette that didn't quite hug the body so much I could more easily understand her desire to remain chaste and aloof physically from her husband during the show.  

I completely understand that, in theory, it really shouldn't matter how a woman chooses to dress when it comes to becoming amorous; however, in this case, having signed up for a legal marriage, I consider it a type of manipulation on Myrla's part to wear that particular dress and present herself in such an obviously sexy way (seeing Gil's eyes light up as she sidled up to the altar no doubt anticipating what she might have been suggesting) and then not even agreeing to do more than give him a peck on the cheek (then and subsequently in all the weeks that followed).   

Myrla has displayed too many contradictions to be taken seriously as a mate and I hope Gil learns from this experience to find a much more authentic wife in the future.

[Elizzikra]

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Myrla has displayed too many contradictions to be taken seriously as a mate

Like what? Besides the supposed mismatch between her wedding dress and her willingness to have sex on her wedding night? Myrla isn't my favorite but I do think she is a straight shooter and a clear communicator. She seems to know exactly what she wants and she clearly states it. I don't really see any contradictions in her though she is in a situation where she has to live with multiple things that are contrary to what she clearly requested in a partner.

[princelina]

9 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Like what? Besides the supposed mismatch between her wedding dress and her willingness to have sex on her wedding night? Myrla isn't my favorite but I do think she is a straight shooter and a clear communicator. She seems to know exactly what she wants and she clearly states it. I don't really see any contradictions in her though she is in a situation where she has to live with multiple things that are contrary to what she clearly requested in a partner.

One of the reasons they were originally matched was because they both claimed to be very into sex.  Maybe she will be one day, but right now she's at a level below Iris 😄

[Yeah No]

On 9/12/2021 at 11:25 PM, pdlinda said:

The comment I have about the Myrla situation is that when she trotted down the aisle in that extremely revealing, skin-tight wedding dress (having a nude-type slip and ample bosom exposure) one might reasonably conclude that she was choosing to give the impression of "romance" in a physical way.  Had she chosen a wedding dress with a high neck, long sleeves and total coverage in a silhouette that didn't quite hug the body so much I could more easily understand her desire to remain chaste and aloof physically from her husband during the show.  

I completely understand that, in theory, it really shouldn't matter how a woman chooses to dress when it comes to becoming amorous; however, in this case, having signed up for a legal marriage, I consider it a type of manipulation on Myrla's part to wear that particular dress and present herself in such an obviously sexy way (seeing Gil's eyes light up as she sidled up to the altar no doubt anticipating what she might have been suggesting) and then not even agreeing to do more than give him a peck on the cheek (then and subsequently in all the weeks that followed).   

Myrla has displayed too many contradictions to be taken seriously as a mate and I hope Gil learns from this experience to find a much more authentic wife in the future.

I think Myrla dresses to please herself first and she likes to think of herself as sexy so that's what she wants the world to see as a result of her clothing choices.  She isn't necessarily factoring in what a man might see and the contradictory message her clothing might be sending him about her intentions with him.  Because of that I don't consider it a full blown manipulation.  I personally think people in general should think about the messages they send with their clothing so that the people they meet don't get the wrong impression.

[Racj82]

On 9/9/2021 at 5:04 PM, Crashcourse said:

Now I'm sorry I ever mentioned Gil's bald head.  ☺️

Hair isn't that deep for everyone. It's funny how it has evolved into this whole discussion. 

I used have a lot of hair oh my head at one point. I've been rocking a baldie for years. It's not because of work, it's not because of a receding hairline or any sort of outside pressure. It's simply easier to maintain a bald head. It's also cheaper. No more running to the barber shop. No more money on hair care products. 

Everything isn't that deep. 

Edited September 14, 2021 by Racj82

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Hair isn't that deep for everyone. It's funny how it has evolved into this whole discussion. 

I used have a lot of hair oh my head at one point. I've been going bald for years. It's not because of work, it's not because of a receding hairline or any sort of outside pressure. It's simply easier to maintain a bald head. It's also cheaper. No more running to the barber shop. No more money on hair care products. 

Everything isn't that deep. 

Exactly.  Plus Gil is one of those guys that actually looks good bald.  Not everybody does.

[Crashcourse]

3 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Hair isn't that deep for everyone. It's funny how it has evolved into this whole discussion. 

I used have a lot of hair oh my head at one point. I've been rocking a baldie for years. It's not because of work, it's not because of a receding hairline or any sort of outside pressure. It's simply easier to maintain a bald head. It's also cheaper. No more running to the barber shop. No more money on hair care products. 

Everything isn't that deep. 

Oh, it's perfectly alright to rock a bald head, it's just that not everyone is into them, like myself.  So that's one thing I can agree with Myrla about--that, and the dogs.  

[pdlinda]

14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think Myrla dresses to please herself first and she likes to think of herself as sexy so that's what she wants the world to see as a result of her clothing choices.  She isn't necessarily factoring in what a man might see and the contradictory message her clothing might be sending him about her intentions with him.  Because of that I don't consider it a full blown manipulation.  I personally think people in general should think about the messages they send with their clothing so that the people they meet don't get the wrong impression.

IMO, Myrla is 35 years old and has been on the dating scene for many, many years.   As you say, she picks her clothing carefully.   I would say she has had encounters with enough men through the years to be able to gauge the effect her outfits have on her suiters.

I noted that in her subsequent wardrobe choices, after the wedding, the prevalent "look" was baggy, borderline "grungy", loose fitting and/or extremely nondescript (like the basic-type "housedress" she chose to wear to the housewarming). 

That was in stark contrast to her original presentation in that wedding dress. I give her credit for being aware that as she obviously has chosen not to engage in any physical intimacy with her husband (at least to this point) she was going to do all in her power not to "lead him on." 

I think I read somewhere that she subsequently put the "bombshell" wedding dress on Ebay for sale (who knows if that's true).

 

[lauralu]

On 9/3/2021 at 10:44 PM, LuvMyShows said:

It is indeed concerning that Zack didn't, and apparently still doesn't, grasp that he did anything wrong.  But IMHO, that is because of the overshadowing of the fifty-times greater problem of how Michaela responded to what he did and also how she spoke to him when they were trying to discuss it.  If she had simply told him that she got worried when she woke up and didn't know where he was, and then asked him to please leave a note in the future when he goes out, I bet he would have apologized.  But instead she lost her f*ing mind, and responded like a lunatic.  You know the editors high-fived each other, when they realized they had tape of her specifically saying she would not just up and leave if she got upset, and even better, she called it abusive behavior. 

From what he said, and I don't remember if it was to Pastor Cal or on Unfiltered, she was trying to imply that she thought he had left, as in for good, which as he pointed out was beyond preposterous since all his stuff was still there!  I actually thought Pastor Cal did a good job of helping them each see from the other's eyes, but I wish they had discussed in-depth her reaction.  However, it isn't just her abandonment issue at play.  When Zack said he got back at 9:15, and she disputed it (which really was soooo beside the point, because it was probably only plus-or-minus 15 minutes, given where he went and when she left), she didn't just say "I was still here at 9:15 and you weren't back by then", but instead said something like, "You're a god-damn lying mother-fucker".  WTAF? 

Girlfriend needs therapy and many sessions of communications lessons.  I think that Zack is naive and thinks of marriage in terms of grandiose gestures and over-the-top harmony, but is ill-prepared for what can sometimes be a daily grind of trying, failing, getting pissed, but then trying some more.  If he can be patient through her outbursts, and if she is truly willing to tone it down, respond properly to her strong emotions, and appreciate his patience, they might actually be able to make it.

100% yes to everything you said!  She needs some serious therapy.  I would be so put off by her reaction and being called a God Damn Mother Fucking liar, that would be it for me.  I absolutely would not tolerate that for one minute.  Especially this being one of the first days they're actually able to spend together.  Who talks like that? What a maladjusted child she is..  She can stop with all this abandonment Daddy shit. We've all had trauma, bad relationships, loss.  To act like a lunatic on morning one of your new marriage because hubby took the dog to daycare is just so over the top I cant even wrap my head around it. And has nothing to do with your Dad and everything to do with the Hurricane Mikayla schtick she's been allowed to get away with.  I get the impression that she thinks its cute.  No thanks. I would not have one second of tolerance for those games.   He may have some fairytale ideas about marriage and yes he could've & should've left a note but just a week prior or heck even a day prior he didn't have anyone to leave a note to. Sometimes that takes minute to remember to include someone else in the most mundane of tasks. My husband still struggles with his 20 years in. LOL.  But for adults it just shouldn't be be that hard to say hey I didn't know where you were, can you let me know next time?  And not to mention she friggin abandon him in FL. He's sick and she high tales it outta there. I realize she couldn't have been with him but she could've been close by there to check on him, to chat through the door. Hell the other couples even did that.  She's selfish unstable brat. She's consuming all my hate this year. Johnny is a man-boy with commitment issues and I don't predict a good outcome for them. The rest are all pretty decent in my opinion. I find Myrla to be kinda ridiculous but Gil seems amused by her and secure in himself so maybe they'll figure it out.  I really like Brett & Ryan together and I like Jose & Rachel together.  Not for me, but for each other. 

[Elizzikra]

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 I would say she has had encounters with enough men through the years to be able to gauge the effect her outfits have on her suiters.

That may be true but it doesn't make her responsible for those effects. She can wear whatever she wants and it doesn't obligate her to any particularly behavior.

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like the basic-type "housedress" she chose to wear to the housewarming

I wouldn't call that a housedress. I thought it was simple, classic and pretty. I loved the color. 

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I think I read somewhere that she subsequently put the "bombshell" wedding dress on Ebay for sale (who knows if that's true).

It was on one of these threads somewhere. It either retails for $10,000 or it retails for more and that's what she was asking.

[Kiss my mutt]

They should have matched Chris with Michaela. She’d give him a run for his money, if he actually had some

[Crashcourse]

38 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

They should have matched Chris with Michaela. She’d give him a run for his money, if he actually had some

She would have scared the pure shit out of him. 😱

[Kiss my mutt]

2 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

She would have scared the pure shit out of him. 😱

Haha, GOOD! 😈