S05.E08: Hell Hath No Fury

[OnceSane]

Quote

Colt is caught red-handed. Sparks fly between Elizabeth's family and Andrei. Larissa and Eric spiral into chaos. Kalani and Asuelu endure a travel day from hell. Angela finally comes clean to Michael. Syngin's overjoyed to escape America.

Airs August 2, 2020.

[charmed1]

Just caught the sneak peek. How much longer are they going to drag out this egg toting delusion from Angela the half man - half pig? Even worse is the phony “Ah maht have cancer laak mah mama” storyline as she lights up another cigarette. Spare me.

Kalani and Asuelo spending 200 bucks on gifts of corn beef hash and sarongs in a half-empty price gouged faux Family Dollar sounds like a wise financial plan for two underemployed parents of two children under 5 years old. I’m “scrolling my eyes.”

Libby once again complaining about being caught in the middle between Andrei and her family is nonsense. If anyone was “caught in the middle,” it was Andrei’s parents having their home taken over by a film crew that has squeezed them all onto one side of their dinner table just so they can get footage of this family of fug gelatinous criminals insulting them and their country. I agree with Andrei. “Set up your mind or something.”

 

Edited July 27, 2020 by charmed1

[magemaud]

As if I didn’t already spend three hours watching 90 Day shows last night and another three tonight as well as a great deal of time reading and commenting on these boards. F**k my life! 

[1011101010001]

12 minutes ago, magemaud said:

As if I didn’t already spend three hours watching 90 Day shows last night and another three tonight as well as a great deal of time reading and commenting on these boards. F**k my life! 

One less hour for Sunday night.

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

 

2 hours ago, magemaud said:

As if I didn’t already spend three hours watching 90 Day shows last night and another three tonight as well as a great deal of time reading and commenting on these boards. F**k my life! 

One less hour for Sunday night.

 

I’m counting Pillow Talk, too

[kendi]

16 hours ago, magemaud said:

As if I didn’t already spend three hours watching 90 Day shows last night and another three tonight as well as a great deal of time reading and commenting on these boards. F**k my life! 

Me, too. Glutton for punishment. 

[Neurochick]

I just finished watching this.  

Debbie is awful, but Mama Paul isn't.  Mama Paul knows that her son is a deadbeat, and she's pushing him to get a job to support his family.  She's pushing him to grow the hell up now that he has a wife.  Debbie doesn't want Colt to grow up.  The fact that she wants to stop the relationship between Colt and Jessica is stupid.  What Debbie doesn't get is she will probably die before Colt and Colt needs his own life.  She needs to stop trying to run the man's life.  Period.

Angela actually made sense.  SURPRISE.  If she can't give Michael a child and that's what he wants then they shouldn't get married, period, end of story.

ETA:  I don't like Tania BUT what Syngin said to her raised MANY red flags.  I think Tania drinks and gets drunk, but Syngin is a much heavier drinker.  Interesting that he went for a job at a pub, drank the Guinness the owner gave him and then proceeded to drink shots.  I can't when people say, "well, SHE makes him drink."  Listen, if a person or conditions can make you drink, then what else can people and conditions make you do?

 

Edited July 29, 2020 by Neurochick

[Frozendiva]

No one makes you do anything. Drinking is Syngin’s way of coping with tp his stuff/issues.

[LEILANI2]

If his family wants money then a cash gift of $100 would be more useful then cheap junk at the dollar store.

[kendi]

10 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I just finished watching this.  

Debbie is awful, but Mama Paul isn't.  Mama Paul knows that her son is a deadbeat, and she's pushing him to get a job to support his family.  She's pushing him to grow the hell up now that he has a wife.  Debbie doesn't want Colt to grow up.  The fact that she wants to stop the relationship between Colt and Jessica is stupid.  What Debbie doesn't get is she will probably die before Colt and Colt needs his own life.  She needs to stop trying to run the man's life.  Period.

Angela actually made sense.  SURPRISE.  If she can't give Michael a child and that's what he wants then they shouldn't get married, period, end of story.

ETA:  I don't like Tania BUT what Syngin said to her raised MANY red flags.  I think Tania drinks and gets drunk, but Syngin is a much heavier drinker.  Interesting that he went for a job at a pub, drank the Guinness the owner gave him and then proceeded to drink shots.  I can't when people say, "well, SHE makes him drink."  Listen, if a person or conditions can make you drink, then what else can people and conditions make you do?

 

Except Angela wasn't even listening or giving credence to what Mykul was saying. There wasn't even a discussion because he didn't say what she wanted to hear. To me it sounded like she was bullying him into saying that regardless of what happens, he wants to get married. It was like she resented him for saying that becoming a father was so important. Jeez, she springs it on him that she could possibly have cancer and before he can even absorb it all, she starts with an attitude. I get it, she's stressed about a lot of things. He was reasonable, saying let's wait to hear from the doctor and go from there. That's not what she wanted to hear. I think he does love her but marriage with the possiblity of no children, she needs to step back. She says they shouldn't get married but she definitely wants to get married.

I can't stand Angela, especially this season. Her mother is ill, she herself could have cancer yet she still travels, and all those grandkids are depending on her.  Are she and Mykul up against a deadline? Is there a reason she couldn't postpone this trip?

Debbie needs her own life. Let stupid Coltee get married again and fail on his own. Or not. Who knows. 

[1011101010001]

36 minutes ago, kendi said:

It was like she resented him for saying that becoming a father was so important.

She’s a mother already so doesn’t have the same sense of urgency.

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, LEILANI2 said:

If his family wants money then a cash gift of $100 would be more useful then cheap junk at the dollar store.

I was floored that there was such a large Samoan specialty store near their home, but I couldn't understand why Asuelu thought t-shirts that said "Samoa" were a great gift to take his mother and half-sisters in Washington State. 

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, LEILANI2 said:

If his family wants money then a cash gift of $100 would be more useful then cheap junk at the dollar store.

I agree-and I love cheap junk at the dollar store! (My husband was just made assistant manager of his.)

[mamadrama]

30 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I was floored that there was such a large Samoan specialty store near their home, but I couldn't understand why Asuelu thought t-shirts that said "Samoa" were a great gift to take his mother and half-sisters in Washington State. 

Or even if they'd been going to Samoa. When my in-laws visit from England I want Galaxy bars and Twinings. Not t-shirts that say "Mamadrama's State." 

[Gobi]

9 hours ago, magemaud said:

I was floored that there was such a large Samoan specialty store near their home, but I couldn't understand why Asuelu thought t-shirts that said "Samoa" were a great gift to take his mother and half-sisters in Washington State. 

Others have posted (couples thread, I think) that there is a large Samoan community where they live.

[MyVelouria]

12 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Or even if they'd been going to Samoa. When my in-laws visit from England I want Galaxy bars and Twinings. Not t-shirts that say "Mamadrama's State." 

I think it's safe to say that Asuelu is about as good at picking out gifts for the women in their lives as most men are - in other words, not very.

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, Gobi said:

Others have posted (couples thread, I think) that there is a large Samoan community where they live.

Right, I remember reading that, something about LDS ministries in Samoa. While I can see him wanting to take some Samoan canned specialties to his rellies in Washington I would think gifts like souvenir T-shirts, baseball caps, etc would promote Utah. 

[mamadrama]

36 minutes ago, MyVelouria said:

I think it's safe to say that Asuelu is about as good at picking out gifts for the women in their lives as most men are - in other words, not very.

And dude WAS buying them canned corn beef so I guess my expectations shouldn't have been so high.

[magemaud]

But it wasn't your typical Dinty Moore canned Corned Beef. Apparently, it's a staple in Pacific Island cooking called "Pisupo" and pronounced pea-soup-oh. 

It truly IS The Learning Channel! 

[1011101010001]

2 hours ago, magemaud said:

But it wasn't your typical Dinty Moore canned Corned Beef. Apparently, it's a staple in Pacific Island cooking called "Pisupo" and pronounced pea-soup-oh. 

It truly IS The Learning Channel! 

Maybe Joe Piscopo can endorse it.

[doodlebug]

On 7/30/2020 at 12:46 PM, mamadrama said:

And dude WAS buying them canned corn beef so I guess my expectations shouldn't have been so high.

Canned meats including SPAM are extremely popular in Samoa and other Pacific Islands.  They are used in cooking all sorts of dishes, so I don't have a problem with him bringing that to his mom, she probably knows a dozen recipes that use it.

[CrazyInAlabama]

Since he's just visiting Washington State, then he should have gone to a store when they arrived, and bought everything there.   

I guess logic has nothing to do with this show, and it's all for the drama. 

 

Edited July 31, 2020 by CrazyInAlabama

[doodlebug]

30 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Since he's just visiting Washington State, then he should have gone to a store when they arrived, and bought everything there.   

 

Now, there you go thinking logically and all.  This show is anti-logical.  Whatever the sensible option would be, these couples do the opposite.

[mamadrama]

9 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Canned meats including SPAM are extremely popular in Samoa and other Pacific Islands.  They are used in cooking all sorts of dishes, so I don't have a problem with him bringing that to his mom, she probably knows a dozen recipes that use it.

And she can't buy them in Washington? I still think it's weird to use up packing space for items people already have available to them.

[CSunshine76]

On 7/29/2020 at 8:22 PM, LEILANI2 said:

If his family wants money then a cash gift of $100 would be more useful then cheap junk at the dollar store.

Yeah, I wasn’t following Kalani here.  She can’t afford to give them cash, but can afford to spend cash on gifts? What?! Unless she was using a credit card and charging up that overpriced crap. Logic is not for the folks in this show.

[Frozendiva]

Asuelu couldn't buy his mom and family hand lotions/soaps, or chocolates as a gift? Yep, maybe she can make better use of the 5 lb tin of corned beef or whatever it was. That is heavy and takes up a lot of luggage space. Surely Amazon could deliver some to her. It really sucks to be worthless to your family unless you bring a lot of money with you to give to them. Any less, and don't bother showing up. $200 spent on junk. Give mom the $100 or a gift card to do what she wants with it.

I don't know if My-kull got a bad edit or he just wasn't interested that Angela, the love of his life, his truest of loves, could possibly have cancer. Maybe he is shocked and doesn't know how to deal with such a serious illness or what. He just seemed to care about having a baby. Dude, Ange cannot carry a kid unless it is a donor egg. Ange should let you absorb the possible medical news - wait and see what it is and then decide. Ange doesn't wanted to get married, but oh yes, she does.

Jess' family was quite generous to give Colt and Debs gifts. How nice to pull Jess' dad aside and ask for her hand in marriage. The parents would be thrilled to have a tie to America! Jess wants to stay in the US. Coltee happens to be handy.

 

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Jess' family was quite generous to give Colt and Debs gifts.

I thought it was funny that among the gifts was a bottle of something for each of them! But, did Colt and Debbie take Jess's family any kind of gifts when they met them? 

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

$200 spent on junk. Give mom the $100 or a gift card to do what she wants with it.

They ended up spending almost $ 200 at the store and also were going to give Asuelu's mother $ 100 cash, but he was worried about his mother's reaction because he had promised her a thousand! 

[Quof]

5 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

I don't know if My-kull got a bad edit or he just wasn't interested that Angela, the love of his life, his truest of loves, could possibly have cancer. Maybe he is shocked and doesn't know how to deal with such a serious illness or what

Because they recorded the scene a couple of times? Because presumably she did actually tell him privately, without cameras, and the scene was re-enacted? 

[mamadrama]

32 minutes ago, Quof said:

Because they recorded the scene a couple of times? Because presumably she did actually tell him privately, without cameras, and the scene was re-enacted? 

That's what I think, too. I still can't get over her worrying more about not being able to tote a baby than by possibly having cancer. 

[Kangatush]

33 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

That's what I think, too. I still can't get over her worrying more about not being able to tote a baby than by possibly having cancer. 

To be fair, many types of cancer aren't that big a deal and are very treatable, whereas not being able to give Michael a baby might mean the end to the relationship that she's been fighting for hard, for years.  

[mamadrama]

14 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

To be fair, many types of cancer aren't that big a deal and are very treatable, whereas not being able to give Michael a baby might mean the end to the relationship that she's been fighting for hard, for years.  

I realize that, but at the time of filming her mother was dying from cancer and Angela didn't know what kind she might have, if it was treatable, or if she had it at all. 

My 13yo son has Hodgkin's Lymphoma, which is "very treatable." It is still very much a big deal. Surgery, chemo, radiation, all the doctors appointments...even the "good" cancers suck. 

[CrazyInAlabama]

I think this is all just a storyline.    The totin' a baby story is total garbage, and I can't believe even Angela is ignoring a possible cancer diagnosis, so my guess is that they played with the time line.    There is no way that the women in Michael's family don't know that Angela is way too old to have a baby, or babies, the way Michael supposedly demands.     My guess is it's another phony story line, and scripted.   

[mamadrama]

30 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I think this is all just a storyline.    The totin' a baby story is total garbage, and I can't believe even Angela is ignoring a possible cancer diagnosis, so my guess is that they played with the time line.    There is no way that the women in Michael's family don't know that Angela is way too old to have a baby, or babies, the way Michael supposedly demands.     My guess is it's another phony story line, and scripted.   

Yeah, I refuse to believe that Angela thought having a baby with Michael was a viable and realistic plan. And his female relatives aren't ignorant-they must also find the idea ludicrous. I think Angela saying "I can tote it" was such a hit early on that they've worked it into a major plotline. 

[LEILANI2]

11 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

Yeah, I wasn’t following Kalani here.  She can’t afford to give them cash, but can afford to spend cash on gifts? What?! Unless she was using a credit card and charging up that overpriced crap. Logic is not for the folks in this show.

Even if she was using a credit card, it would be a simple thing to purchase VISA OR MASTERCARD gift cards on the credit card for $100 to give as a gift.

Also $1000 is a lot but they've been on Pillow Talk and this is their season 2  so they're pulling in more money then just Asuelo's job handing out yogurt samples so that's probably why his mom thought asking for $1k is just a drop in the bucket since they're 'famous' and all.

What I don't understand was Asuelo saying he wants to go to Samoa but his mom and sister are in Washington?

I still can't figure out who  assured Colt the speedo and double Cs were a good idea, surely Debbie and even Jessie advised otherwise lol.

 

[Caoimhe]

24 minutes ago, LEILANI2 said:

I still can't figure out who  assured Colt the speedo and double Cs were a good idea, surely Debbie and even Jessie advised otherwise lol.

We’ve discussed on My 600 Pound Life that the poundticipants are paid extra if they will film shower scenes, so my first thought was that Coltee was getting extra pay to film that beach scene!

Edited August 1, 2020 by ThereButFor

[CrazyInAlabama]

Asuelu's mother is in Washington State, with his half-sister (she's from American Samoa), and the other half-sister is also American Samoan, and lives in Utah.   They're going to visit the mother and half-sister.   Asuelu's father, and another sister live in Samoa, where he's from.      I think he has brothers in Samoa too.  

[Kangatush]

4 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I realize that, but at the time of filming her mother was dying from cancer and Angela didn't know what kind she might have, if it was treatable, or if she had it at all. 

My 13yo son has Hodgkin's Lymphoma, which is "very treatable." It is still very much a big deal. Surgery, chemo, radiation, all the doctors appointments...even the "good" cancers suck. 

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so flippant. 

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, ThereButFor said:

We’ve discussed on My 600 Pound Life that the poundticipants are paid extra if they will film shower scenes, so my first thought was that Coltee was getting extra pay to film that beach scene!

We should have all gotten together and chipped in MORE so that we wouldn't have had to see that.

[athousandclowns]

On 7/29/2020 at 8:32 PM, mamadrama said:

Or even if they'd been going to Samoa. When my in-laws visit from England I want Galaxy bars and Twinings. Not t-shirts that say "Mamadrama's State." 

Yes you have those on hand for them to enjoy while visiting and maybe a souvenir from mammadramas state - no? 
I had a British friend who craved things only found there so we would often go to a British  shop here and naturally things were very expensive, but worth it to her.   I also fell in love with A certain brand tea and candy while in London myself and bought it from a British source on line. 
I do understand buying the food they can’t get but $49.00 for a can of meat? What I don’t understand is a T-shirt from Samoa.

Mom  and sour face sister live in the states must surly know a part time job handing out yogurt Would barely help support the children he bought into the world let alone family also living in the states. So they believe his wife or her family should be sending them money?  It’s a wonder he’s not got a big screen tv and computer under his arm. 
I believe Angela gyn doctor gave her Results before she left.  
Unless Colt has a green card on his forehead I don’t believe he makes her want sex all the time. In my book there’s no such thing as that drunk. 

[mamadrama]

1 minute ago, athousandclowns said:

Yes you have those on hand for them to enjoy while visiting and maybe a souvenir from mammadramas state - no? 
I had a British friend who craved things only found there so we would often go to a British  shop here and naturally things were very expensive, but worth it to her.   I also fell in love with A certain brand tea and candy while in London myself and bought it from a British source on line. 
I do understand buying the food they can’t get but $49.00 for a can of meat? What I don’t understand is a T-shirt from Samoa.

Mom  and sour face sister live in the states must surly know a part time job handing out yogurt Would barely help support the children he bought into the world let alone family also living in the states. So they believe his wife or her family should be sending them money?  It’s a wonder he’s not got a big screen tv and computer under his arm. 
I believe Angela gyn doctor gave her Results before she left.  
Unless Colt has a green card on his forehead I don’t believe he makes her want sex all the time. In my book there’s no such thing as that drunk. 

I have tea on hand for when they visit. And I give them things from my state. My point is that when my British in laws visit they don't bring ME T-shirts with my state on them-they bring me things that symbolize where they're from. 

[magemaud]

10 minutes ago, athousandclowns said:

Unless Colt has a green card on his forehead I don’t believe he makes her want sex all the time.

I think there are two ways of interpreting that statement, keeping in mind the language barrier and how she mixes up word order in sentences. Did she mean Colt makes HER want sex all the time or does Colt MAKE her want to have sex all the time? 

followed by demonic cackling! 

Edited August 1, 2020 by magemaud

[magemaud]

I did look up that Palm brand canned corned beef. It's from New Zealand so it's entirely feasible that they don't carry it in Washington State, but the Samoan Specialty store in Utah does. I also looked up the store itself and found it's actually a very small store in a strip mall and not the big warehouse building that it appears from the outside camera shots. What we saw inside, a few shelves of food, t-shirts, caps, bead jewelry and island type clothing is it. 

[Frozendiva]

I looked around and Walmart Canada has it for $4.97 for an 11.5 ounce can. Amazon is $50 plus for four tins. Hmmmm. There are some flavours so maybe the Samoan shop has the more exotic ones.

Edited August 1, 2020 by Frozendiva
wrong can size

[Hotel Snarker]

First Look Review:

I think the reason why Asuelu’s parents expect a lot of money from Asuelu is that they think TLC is paying him money just by being on TV, and they want some of that money.

Since Debbie is manipulative and will try to do anything to sabotage Colt’s relationships, I predict she will do the same with Colt and Jess pretty soon. Colt will never have a relationship as long as Debbie is by his side.

And I also think Angela is old enough to know better. She is too old to have a baby. But what she and Michael can do is hire a surrogate to carry the baby for her. Plus, telling Michael she may have cancer and then going on to smoke her cigarette? I advise Angela to focus on “totin” a bit of respect for Michael, and not tote a baby.

[citychic]

I'm confused about something. Angela keeps saying it's not normal for her to bleed at her age, that's why the cancer discussion.  

But don't you need to bleed to have a period to have a baby? I might have missed something where she was going to tote a different way, is that why she asked Skyla? 

I'm a year younger than she is and there is no way in heck I would want to start over with another baby and I don't think she really want's to either, I think she's pacifying Michael until they get married and he gets to the states. Especially the fact that she's a caregiver by job, cares for her mom at home plus all the grandbabies! Crazy.

Edited August 1, 2020 by citychic
a word

[AZChristian]

47 minutes ago, citychic said:

. . . I don't think she really want's to either, I think she's pacifying Michael until they get married and he gets to the states. 

And then it will be - EVERY night - "Come on, Mykul.  I can't get pregnant without your sperm.  Gimme some."

[magemaud]

4 hours ago, citychic said:

But don't you need to bleed to have a period to have a baby? I might have missed something where she was going to tote a different way, is that why she asked Skyla? 

The gynecologist in Nigeria said that she had "one egg" but that her uterus was in good shape so she could possibly "tote" a baby with an egg donor and that's when she made Michael ask Skyla for her "aig." Skyla turned them down. Then, despite not having a period for a couple of years Angela started bleeding and thought that meant that she was still fertile but the Georgia gynecologist saw no eggs on the ultrasound and believed the Nigerian doctor had seen a cyst. She also said it wasn't normal to start bleeding after menopause and from the ultrasound she determined that Angela needed a biopsy. She also said if Angela didn't need a hysterectomy based on the biopsy results, she might still be able to carry a pregnancy with a donor egg, but she didn't seem very optimistic. 

[Kiss my mutt]

The syngin that just landed in SA looks a lot different then the syngin that landed in the US by about fifty pounds. 
Debbie is only in her 60s so she could live another 30 years and probably will like most ornery people do. I call bs that she’s some disabled old lady that is incapable of taking care of herself. Maybe Coltee has Stockholm syndrome after being guilted his entire life. Without the promise of a green card, the only sex he’d get is with himself. Whoever said they should be on Smothered is spot on. 

[Frozendiva]

If Colt makes a decent salary, he can easily help out with subsidizing an apartment for his mom. No idea if they rent or own the home. Debbie can also take out a reverse mortgage or Colt can get his own condo and just come for dinner and such a couple of times per week. Help out with groceries, etc. This arrangement suits them both - Colt's stuff gets done for him and Debbie gets to interfere with his life.