S08.E17: Til Death Do Us Not Part

[Carolina Girl]

3 hours ago, MVFrostsMyPie said:

I just don’t understand the unnecessary cruelty and shit-talking.

And how often when you walk away from a friendship are you completely unable to be civil with them in a social setting??  Seriously,  

[DrSparkles]

If I were looking for the right bronzer for my calves.... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Also, Raquel FTW, ‘dick’.

[Carolina Girl]

Curious to know if Lala took some heat for her uglier than normal behavior last night on social media.

And I will give Katie some kudos (surprise!).  James' apology seemed very heartfelt - normally when he was insincere there would be an immediate cutaway to "Am I sorry?  Hell, no!  But I'll apologize if it means I get to _____ with the gang."  That didn't happen here.  I get that Katie may have been initial skeptical but seemed to appreciate the effort.

That being said, Katie - now it's time for YOU, Stassi and the rest of that belligerent gang to apologize for all the trouble that you STARTED with him.  

[heatherchandler]

1 hour ago, The Ringo Kidd said:

To quote Fancy Pants from RHOC “If everyone tells you that you’re dead maybe you should lie down.”

Katie actually deserves all of the hate she gets because she spews hate nonstop whenever she opens her pie hole to talk. She is reprehensible and makes even a low life like Jax look better.

HAHA I liked that saying.  I agree, she is awful!  In fact I almost want to create a twitter account just to tell her I hate her!  

[LibertarianSlut]

17 hours ago, Marley said:

Lisa even went to their softball game. Like pls go away. It’s just weird how she’s at like every event now.

She either doesn’t understand, or is completely ignoring, the fact that when the cat’s not away, the mice won’t play.  I did not always hate her—that’s only happened in the past two years or so—but I never understood why she is always there, minding the store.  She’s literally old enough to be the parent of the oldest one there by a long shot.  Some of them are also in business with her.

 She’s like that creepy parent who never wanted to leave the kids alone to just play and do their thing.  I don’t care how “cool” the “cool mom” ever was; I wasn’t letting my guard down around her the way I would with my friends.  I’m never not going to put on a veneer of spin and bullshit for my boss, even if I’m trying to be real.  It’s just human nature.  If she’s this amazing businesswoman (of which I’ve never seen evidence; I would like to see where she would have ended up if she hadn’t met Ken), why doesn’t she get the fuck out of the way of her own show?

5 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Lord, what a season...I’m actually rooting for Kristen and Scheana and mostly hate everyone else, LVP included. And LVP looked like she was wearing fucking adult diapers in those jeans...yikes, I hope that wasn’t the result of an ill-advised butt implant...

Same, as far as who I root for this season.  

Lisa in those jeans?  Um, first of all the Nine West in the mall from 1997 called, and it wants its black leather belt with the huge silver buckle back so it can put it back on the shelves for $21.99 (plus 20% off).  How does someone so rich dress so poorly?  

I’ve been watching a lot of reruns, and Lisa really pats herself on the back for giving these people opportunities to, you know, waitress and hostess for a wage and buy into her business for one easy payment of $50k and taking her shit until the end of time.  

So with that in mind, seeing as how there has been no discernible improvement in her body since former seasons, she’s making Brett look really bad as her trainer.  Why would someone hire him based on this show?  What is the premise of the branding, that you’ll look the same?  She could have taken advantage of the training to get the tightest ass and legs and then worn cute little shorts and skirts to promote him for like half a damn season.  I would love to see that and just cover the freaking cleavage for even a few episodes.  

Then just be honest and tell us it was too hard and you went back to eating, and that she and Brett have parted ways, because she’s too lazy/busy to exercise, but that would require humility and poking fun at herself, which she seems to do a good job of, but when you start to look at it, she has very strict control over what people say about her.  

Haha, we can joke all day that Lisa and Ken never have sex, but Stassi makes one offhand comment about Lisa being “older,” and she spends an entire season having to grovel over it, in addition to a scene conveniently set up at Lisa’s house where the Toms and Jax “discover” a picture of a scantily clad Lisa in Ken’s office and all three drop what they’re doing to pantomime jerking off to her.  At the very least, I don’t think Tom Sandoval is attracted to Lisa, and I don’t think he’d opt to do that on TV even as a joke, but they do this to keep their jobs.  This ego.  This ego has no bounds, and it’s making the show so tough.  Tough on the viewer and tough on the people who want to give us the messiness we’re looking for.  IMO of course.  

Edited April 29, 2020 by LibertarianSlut
Typos

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

Go Scheana - she can pitch softball with 3" nails and looks awesome in the team uniform with sex store socks - not many people can say that...

I don't understand what made them "sex store" socks -- I mean, other than that they were bought there. They were normal over-the-knee socks!

[Carolina Girl]

17 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

I don't understand what made them "sex store" socks -- I mean, other than that they were bought there. They were normal over-the-knee socks!

Shows you how desperate they are for something to discuss.  If I were buying softball socks, I'd be going to Big Five or Dick's.  

[The Ringo Kidd]

25 minutes ago, Carolina Girl said:

Shows you how desperate they are for something to discuss.  If I were buying softball socks, I'd be going to Big Five or Dick's.  

Actually they went to “Big Dicks.”

[bichonblitz]

6 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Officially can’t stand that opportunistic cum-guzzler

Ok, I'm dead!! Perfect description of Lala, ever!!

[tvfanatic13]

Loved Raquel’s run to first base. I think she is killing it this season. I’m beginning to think she may actually have some brains in there. 

[Rosebud1970]

22 hours ago, dosodog said:

Brittany is mad that Stassi got a wedding related party at Villa Rosa, but she didnt.

It was all in her eyes and the strain trying to smile.

I am beyond (and I mean, beyond) over Brittany. Now that her wedding fantasy Princess-gets-married-in-a-trailer-park-castle is over, she's turned into a Bitch Queen from Hell.

Maybe she always was and I just didn't see it. But her true colors were on full display. And it wasn't a pretty sight. She's petty, jealous and insecure.

She done won the sweepstakes.

[hoodooznoodooz]

So Charli made that joke about how competitive she is because of all her Daddy issues, but it’s difficult to enjoy since she is so inexplicably smug. 

[vmarsissmart]

16 hours ago, albarino said:

 I can't even begin to understand the rationale for her phone call to Kristin.

Producers? 

[Dmarie019]

16 hours ago, Carolina Girl said:

And how often when you walk away from a friendship are you completely unable to be civil with them in a social setting??  Seriously,  

Yea that's the part that makes them really immature. I mean shit talk people in private all you want but you can at least be civil if you need to be around them and not break down and cry. 

BUT.... all of the Real Houswives are no different and they're MUCH older. I find it hard to believe that people like that even exist. But I guess that's what Bravo wants. 

9 hours ago, vmarsissmart said:

Producers? 

100%

[The Ringo Kidd]

17 hours ago, tvfanatic13 said:

Loved Raquel’s run to first base. I think she is killing it this season. I’m beginning to think she may actually have some brains in there. 

Raquels run to first base is how Flat Iron Tom goes to the bathroom in the morning.

[Ubiquitous]

On 4/29/2020 at 9:35 AM, Callaphera said:

Tom and Tom did a fundraiser by selling Cameos and donated $10k of their own money for a grand total of either $50k or $60k (I've seen both numbers referenced, not sure which it was) for TomTom employees. 

Cameoes? Broaches with face on them.

[HeddaGabler]

Whoops! Posted in the wrong thread!

Edited April 30, 2020 by HeddaGabler
I meant to post in the RHOBH threads

[FancyNancy]

Don’t know if this has been said but, it obvious that Lisa is on because this is her only show now. She wants the screen time. 

[Vivigirl10]

Quote

Loved Raquel’s run to first base.

That run was like watching a cross between Bambi and Frankenstein.  Seriously, is she completely flat footed?  But then can do a pretty impressive high kick?  More Raquel!

  

[gingerella]

I quit this bitch a few years back, but now I’m COVID-watching this mess again and the best part of this epi was BritBrit’s envy over LVP giving an engagement party for Stassi & Beau. That? Was perfection! In fact, as soon as I heard LVP was throwing them a party I knew Brit would be jealous. She’s such an ungrateful hillbilly, like having almost two seasons revolve around her engagements and wedding to Greasy Roid Rage wasn’t enough for her?!?

[Kiki777]

2 hours ago, gingerella said:

I quit this bitch a few years back, but now I’m COVID-watching this mess again and the best part of this epi was BritBrit’s envy over LVP giving an engagement party for Stassi & Beau. That? Was perfection! In fact, as soon as I heard LVP was throwing them a party I knew Brit would be jealous. She’s such an ungrateful hillbilly, like having almost two seasons revolve around her engagements and wedding to Greasy Roid Rage wasn’t enough for her?!?

I am wishing for Stassi&Beau’s wedding to be more lavish, and for Stassi to get pregnant before Brittany.  She will implode from all the petty jealousy.  

[KnoxForPres]

On 5/2/2020 at 5:00 AM, Kiki777 said:

I am wishing for Stassi&Beau’s wedding to be more lavish, and for Stassi to get pregnant before Brittany.  She will implode from all the petty jealousy.  

Haha- yes!   Like I hope Lisa’s mom comes back from the dead to bless that marriage as an apparition at the ceremony  and Stassi pulls a Duggar and gets knocked up on the Honeymoon. 
 

I hate Beau- but I hate Brittany way more. 

[wheresmypizza]

Poor Brit. Nobody told her what AFTER would look like. Now she knows and boy, is it depressing. Just one look at her is to have a front row seat to watching her dream die in increments. Stassi and Beau's party was just the first nibble.

[gingerella]

1 hour ago, wheresmypizza said:

Poor Brit. Nobody told her what AFTER would look like. Now she knows and boy, is it depressing. Just one look at her is to have a front row seat to watching her dream die in increments. Stassi and Beau's party was just the first nibble.

That's the life of a fame whore who's hitched her hillbilly wagon to a greasy roid-ragey monster who will eventually cheat on her, just like he's done with every other woman he's been with.

[SarahPrtr]

On 4/29/2020 at 12:49 PM, Ubiquitous said:

• The excitement fir the softball game builds.. or not. I'm not sure, but getting porno shop socks for the game sounds like something HR needs to know about. Jebus, FI Tom certainly puts 100% into everything he does. Wait, DJ Muppet Baby doesn't work at either SUR or TomTom! Dayna is playing against Max! Ariana is not playing for her team, either! I declare "Shenanigans"! Why are Dayna and Brett are still talking about Max?
• While Stassi and Beau window shop for a mauselium, I remember they call them "monuments" and how they handle PNS in CA. Dammit, I was so hoping someone had swiped the ring. After Beau's trickery is revealed, they goto romantic businesswoman Lisa Vanderbuck's house for a party. She's cooking for the party? Call me skeptical. Boochie? Jelly? Hate those expressions and they make no sense. Once again, LaLa is gross. We discover Kristen wasn't invited but there was a place setting for her that haunted Katie. Lala calls Kristen to stir the pudding. I bet she was involved with convincing Caret to text Beau, too. Before heading to commercial, they warn us that Stassi's obnoxious little brother, Nikolas, will make an appearance to hand out sage advice and Schemer looks desperate.

Posts like yours are the reason why I come to this site.  You all make me laugh so hard!

 

On 4/29/2020 at 12:58 PM, OnceSane said:

How the alley used to be THE place to be?

Ugh, the bloody alley.  It still makes me uncomfortable knowing that, that's where employees go to during their breaks at night.  Creepy and dangerous as hell.

 

On 4/29/2020 at 8:43 PM, Duke2801 said:

I am glad that K has a new boyfriend (in real time) who is supposedly hella rich. Hopefully he’s nice to her. And honestly? She looks really good now too. I used to think she was kinda ratty-looking in earlier seasons, but she seems to have had some sort of “glow up” in recent years. She looks better than she ever has. 

I also saw Kristen's new house all done up, and it's nice and bright inside, so that's good news for her. 

On 4/29/2020 at 11:47 PM, Callaphera said:

That's what I figured and I wondered if Tom and Tom's efforts didn't accidentally mess that up for people but I don't know California unemployment regulations so I just read and enjoyed the arguing back and forth about whether Lisa should have sold her mini horses to pay for everyone's wages. 

 

Which actually cost more than regular horses... I don't understand either, but the smaller the horse, the more expensive they are.

 

And Stassi is living with Schwartz and Katie.  Again. 

 

On 4/30/2020 at 2:04 AM, dosodog said:

Sometimes I think Kristen is one of those people who enjoy being unhappy.  Things are going great so she consciously or sub consciously, sabotages herself.  And they are sick of participating in it.

 

It's difficult being friends with someone with BPD and also difficult for people living with it.  Definitely agree that she sabotages herself when things start to get good, so she can feel like shit again.  It's a vicious cycle.

 

On 4/30/2020 at 2:24 AM, heatherchandler said:

Should have known that, with my love and obsession with Six Feet Under!  Nate changed his pre-need right before he died!

HA! I love SFU!!!  I actually watched the first 5 episodes last week, and then the first 3 eps of Dexter.  They actually still hold well, so double extra impressive.  "She stole a FOOT?!!!"

[SarahPrtr]

On 4/30/2020 at 3:26 AM, Sun-Bun said:

Speaking of pathetic, LaLa rubbing salt into that wound by passive-aggressively calling up Kristen to “check on her”(more like to gloat) was especially mean. Officially can’t stand that opportunistic cum-guzzler.

Oh.My.God.  I sounded like I was drowning, having a coughing fit and screeching all at the same time when I read that.  Scariest-sounding but the most satisfying laughter. Ever.

On 4/30/2020 at 6:12 AM, heatherchandler said:

If I was constantly getting people on SM telling me that I am a horrible, miserable person... I may take a good hard look in the mirror.  I know that reality tv isn't really real, but Katie's personality really comes through, and she is a really awful, miserable jerk.  People are going out of their way to tell her they hate her!  That should tell her something.

They create situations on the shows, not the people.  The cast are who they are.  So all of these people who have been on reality shows who were total assholes can complain all they want about how 'The Producers' told them to be that way can suck it.  You showed your true colours on television and you hated the backlash, so you're trying to do damage-control.  Too late.

 

On 4/30/2020 at 11:06 AM, Rosebud1970 said:

I am beyond (and I mean, beyond) over Brittany. Now that her wedding fantasy Princess-gets-married-in-a-trailer-park-castle is over, she's turned into a Bitch Queen from Hell.

Maybe she always was and I just didn't see it. But her true colors were on full display. And it wasn't a pretty sight. She's petty, jealous and insecure.

She done won the sweepstakes.

No Nice Girl marries a piece of shit trash like Jax.  She's as bad as the rest of them.

 

On 4/30/2020 at 1:21 PM, hoodooznoodooz said:

So Charli made that joke about how competitive she is because of all her Daddy issues, but it’s difficult to enjoy since she is so inexplicably smug. 

Then she said "No, just kidding",  like, umm... what???

 

[heatherchandler]

3 hours ago, SarahPrtr said:

And Stassi is living with Schwartz and Katie.  Again.

What?  I don't follow these people in real time.  Is she living with them?

[SarahPrtr]

5 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

What?  I don't follow these people in real time.  Is she living with them?

Yeah, Stassi and Beau are living with them.

[FlyingEgret]

I wonder if Beau's best friend Rob (hider of the ring) was invited to the engagement party...

[geej]

On 5/5/2020 at 3:36 AM, SarahPrtr said:

It still makes me uncomfortable knowing that, that's where employees go to during their breaks at night.  Creepy and dangerous as hell.

 

scary for whom? a ramdom walker going by is my bet for who should be scared(with that crew)

[Ubiquitous]

On ‎5‎/‎5‎/‎2020 at 6:36 AM, SarahPrtr said:

Ugh, the bloody alley.  It still makes me uncomfortable knowing that, that's where employees go to during their breaks at night.  Creepy and dangerous as hell.

They have the cameramen to keep them company.

[Cheezwiz]

On 5/1/2020 at 11:36 PM, gingerella said:

I quit this bitch a few years back, but now I’m COVID-watching this mess again

Same here. I think I stopped watching around the end of Season 3. The only newbie at that time was someone named Vail. No idea what happened to her, but as for the rest? They're all STILL the same. Still the same vapid vacuous crew, and here I am, watching them again. I think I'm watching mostly to enjoy the commentary on here.

Random thoughts:

Stassi is marginally better than she was on earlier seasons, but still in Regina George mode. Having to come crawling back to the show doesn't seem to have humbled her at all. Nice that she's finally found a lap-dog/purse-carrier to bully into matrimony.

Scheana - still a blinking barn owl (TM someone on a TWop thread years ago) only more desperate and clingy than ever! Her hilariously un-self aware singing "Good as Gold" on the bar-top has been the highlight of this season for me.

Lala - good grief she's awful, why does anyone voluntarily spend time with her? And her D-list Producer beau is an annoying dolt, and probably a long-standing industry joke to boot.

Jax & his Hillbilly queen. Ugh. I give them four more years. Tops. Brittany's rictus grin as she jealously recounted Stassi's engagement party at Villa Rosa was hilarious to behold. I did find Jax's rhapsodizing about lawns & lawn mowing this episode strangely endearing though.

The one new girl I don't mind too much is Dayna, but she needs to shut-up about Max. And the producers have not done a good job fabricating a storyline and convincing me that Max pulls all these women. He just looks like a greasy little weasel to me.

Also not minding Raquel so far, she's been given a good edit. Dumber than a box of hair, but likeable up to this point.

Charli sucks. Did anyone notice that she looks almost EXACTLY the same as the softball photo they showed of her at age 10? Also couldn't care less about the breathalyzer chick whose name starts with 'D' but I can't remember.

I hated HATED Kristin in the early seasons I watched, and could never understand why Lisa didn't fire her ass. Damn you show for making me feel a little bit bad for her! I actually like her little house the best out of all of them.

Katie & Peter both look freakin' huge. They probably look normal IRL but next to all the tiny waify size '0' people on the show, they look girnormo. I wouldn't normally comment on someone's size, but these folks are all such shallow twits who put a premium on appearance, (and would probably do the same in a hot minute) that I don't feel bad.

I still have an inexplicable love for Lisa and her OTT ridiculousness, but boy am I tired of those sad ratty bald little dogs that she & Ken carry everywhere. I thought Giggy would be long gone at this point, but apparently they found doppelganger replacements.

No idea why I typed all of the above. Covidoldrums I guess.