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Tori and Bobby: Whine Time!

PrincessPurrsALot

By PrincessPurrsALot
in Bringing Up Bates

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cereality
cereality

And IIRC correctly Bobby is only one of 3 kids himself -- I believe he has 2 sisters. From what we saw of his home/parents when he was courting, he grew up upper middle class -- large size single fami

cereality
cereality

I’m sure. I assume the Bates said no thing comes up bc he got off on the wrong foot. And now as the years go buy he sees that G&K are the lazy grifting types. G pushing off tree work to the older

Absolom
Absolom

Wow, they're already on number four.  I hope some of this generation find a new hobby soon.

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andromeda331

andromeda331

On 10/14/2019 at 4:17 PM, ehall1052 said:

I can’t quite get it right, but it’s got to be something like Tori and Bobby: Whine and Resign ( or something that shows she always gets her way)

That's pretty good. I've been trying to come up with something about her whining all the time and doesn't do or like anything. Whine and Resign really sounds like both of them. Tori will whine forever and do nothing, and Bobby seems resigned to the fact that's how every day is going to be that. 

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floridamom

floridamom

I'm trying to word it right...about Bobby being nagged back into the Bates vortex and Kelly's clutches. This guy has lost his own family. I'm sorry for him as he didn't look before he leaped. Wonder why his parents didn't advise him better. This girl is certainly a downer, a nag and a depressed person. I thought they all were supposed to be thrilled that Jesus loves them?

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BitterApple

BitterApple

26 minutes ago, Dimi1 said:

 Tori and Bobby are expecting number 2. 

Oh, good grief. 

I feel bad for Bobby because you can tell Tori's one of those types who will become an increasing shrew with each additional pregnancy/child. 

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RebeccatheWriter

RebeccatheWriter

On 10/17/2019 at 5:45 AM, floridamom said:

I'm trying to word it right...about Bobby being nagged back into the Bates vortex and Kelly's clutches. This guy has lost his own family. I'm sorry for him as he didn't look before he leaped. Wonder why his parents didn't advise him better. This girl is certainly a downer, a nag and a depressed person. I thought they all were supposed to be thrilled that Jesus loves them?

I don't know that his parents didn't try to intervene. Their demeanor was stand offish from the start. If they are like my parents and other family, they let their opinion be known and then waited for it to fall apart. Unfortunately he got married before it did. 

She's been that nag since childhood. She was a complete brat back when they were guests on the Duggars' show. She's the one who complained about the paint color Jana was using on the doors, calling it "yuck colors" while standing right beside Jana. She whined about having to learn to cook. She complained about the dresses at Michaela's wedding. 

She toned down a little when she was still in the pre-courting and courting stages with Bobby, but after she got that ring it was full court whine fest. 

Interestingly, many of the Bates girls have bucked tradition in the fundie culture. Most fundie wives move to where their husband and his family lives. Erin, Tori, Carlin, and now Michael have all gotten their men to move to them and their family. 

I think that when Bobby moved to Tennessee, his parents probably thought he would see the true Tori and move back to Florida. Prior to the engagement, they had been talking about a long engagement and waiting for Tori to finish school. I'm sure they were not thrilled at the moved up timeline and almost immediate pregnancy. 

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andromeda331

andromeda331

10 minutes ago, answerphone said:

He must have been a contributing factor to her pregnancy 🤫

What type of job does he have now? 

I only know what Zach and Kelton do. How do these young men support their expanding families?

They mentioned in the last episode Kelton's training Bobby in the plumbing business. Even though he went to college and got a degree in Bible and Youth Ministry or something. 

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Quiet1

Quiet1

(edited)

He will probably be able to support his family more being a plumber and doing youth ministry on the side. Working with Kelton makes the move easier for him as well.

At first I was thinking it would be nice to have my best friend as an in law but then what if one of the marriages isn't good or one of you really likes the in laws but the other doesn't could be hard on the friendship so best to keep them separate!

Edited by Quiet1
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Temperance

Temperance

I get the sense that Tori and some of the other Bates girls would have been happier not getting married so young and starting a family. LIke if they got to wait, work, and explore their options; rather than rushing into motherhood. Instead they bought into getting married ASAP and having babies both as a recipe for happiness and as a result of community pressure. 

If Tori is more unpleasant when pregnant, maybe Bobby should decide/suggest they limit their family size. (I do think Tori should get a say, but in their culture, he's the headship.) I also suspected she was pregnant and I'm not surprised by this announcement. 

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BetyBee

BetyBee

I love the name of this thread!  I think some of the middle Bates girls are just loudmouths, much like their mother.  They think it's a lot cuter than it actually is!  It's sad that they all tend to move back to the fold.  I think they're very attractive girls and that helps them to snag their fundie husbands who they then lead around by the ... well, let's say nose, but I think it's another body part the girls have their "headships" thinking with!

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Dmarie019

Dmarie019

On 10/18/2019 at 11:02 AM, BitterApple said:

Oh, good grief. 

I feel bad for Bobby because you can tell Tori's one of those types who will become an increasing shrew with each additional pregnancy/child. 

I'm not real sure you can feel bad for him...I mean hopefully at his age he understands how babies are made. And there are many ways to make sure you don't have any more! 

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andromeda331

andromeda331

3 hours ago, Dmarie019 said:

I'm not real sure you can feel bad for him...I mean hopefully at his age he understands how babies are made. And there are many ways to make sure you don't have any more! 

This is what always confuses me by the men who court and marry Bates and Duggars. Both families are very up front about having as many kids as possible. Their kids especially the girls are raised completely with that being the goal and really have no other goals. Even the Bates girls who go to college and seem to get degrees number one thing is still marry and have as many kids as possible. Nothing else really matters.  Yet they each seem absolutely shocked that ends up being the case in their marriage. I realize when your in love or lust you don't think straight. But they are really up front about that. That's their whole identity, thing, shtick. Yet Chad's age fast with all the work Erin makes him do and number four on the way. Bobby seemed surprised by how fast and warn down by Tori. Derick, Ben, have all seemed surprised by that. I'm confused on why their so surprised.  

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BetyBee

BetyBee

5 hours ago, Dmarie019 said:

I'm not real sure you can feel bad for him...I mean hopefully at his age he understands how babies are made. And there are many ways to make sure you don't have any more! 

I've seen the way Kelly nags the boys to put a ring on her girls' fingers.  If Bobby suggested birth control, Tori would tell her Mom and Bobby would never hear the end of it.  Then Bobby would give in like Chad and begin the rapid aging process!

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Temperance

Temperance

28 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I've seen the way Kelly nags the boys to put a ring on her girls' fingers.  If Bobby suggested birth control, Tori would tell her Mom and Bobby would never hear the end of it.  Then Bobby would give in like Chad and begin the rapid aging process!

I also get the sense that Kelly would interfere if a married couple (her children) decided to limit their family size.  Fundie parents need to butt out!

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floridamom

floridamom

The husbands are 'surprised' by their wives after they're married because they don't know them before they marry them. All of them maintain company manners during courtships and marry with them too. ONLY AFTER the wedding do they let each other know who they really are. How can anyone think this is the way to go? Has NOTHING to do with believing in God.

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RebeccatheWriter

RebeccatheWriter

9 hours ago, floridamom said:

The husbands are 'surprised' by their wives after they're married because they don't know them before they marry them. All of them maintain company manners during courtships and marry with them too. ONLY AFTER the wedding do they let each other know who they really are. How can anyone think this is the way to go? Has NOTHING to do with believing in God.

Their conversations prior to marriage are very limited. We're talking favorite Bible verses and when they were Baptized. After courtship the conversations are primarily the same with the added pressure of discussing what they want engagement to be like. Then after engagement it's all about planning the big wedding. 

Supposedly there is a workbook they are supposed to do as marriage counseling, but they can't do the parts that talk about sex or any of that. One would think these guys would be logical about it and figure out that this is the norm for them. At this point they should watch the freaking show if they are confused. 

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JessDVD

JessDVD

I can only conclude that the relationship must look different on the inside than what we get an outside view of. Any spouse later than about Whitney or Chad has NO excuse to not know what marriage to a Bates kid will look like. It's not like the Duggars and Bateses haven't been on TV espousing their lifestyle for, oh, the last FIFTEEN years. I can give the early ones a pass because the families themselves didn't spend as much time "in" the world, but the later editions, they have full access to the interwebs and cannot possibly not know.

I also personally suspect that as the kids age through their 20s and into their 30s, the baby trains may slow down. "Conservative" circles are more likely to spend the 20s bearing children, but slow down and/or stop once in the 30s. Who knows, maybe they'll all continue annual pregnancies well into their 30s (my uterus is hurting just thinking about it), but just based on how much more tired I was with my 4th pregnancy at age 30, than my first at age 24, I can see at least a few of them having 5-6 kids by age 32 or so, and then deciding that some judicious use of NFP is in order. Maybe I'm just projecting myself here... but the annual pregnancies doesn't super surprise me now, and I do think we'll see some slowing, especially as the families approach the 5-6 kids. I think you've really got to love kids (or have mental issues, like Michelle), to intentionally continue to have babies past 5-6 into the mid-late 30s.

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answerphone

answerphone

How can these young men be surprised at the women wanting babies ASAP? The men are raised with the same narrow minded cult ideas.

I think what they may be surprised at is how costly and tiring it is to actually raise a large family on a meager income. 

They probably aren't prepared in a realistic manner.

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Temperance

Temperance

(edited)
3 hours ago, answerphone said:

How can these young men be surprised at the women wanting babies ASAP? The men are raised with the same narrow minded cult ideas.

I think what they may be surprised at is how costly and tiring it is to actually raise a large family on a meager income. 

They probably aren't prepared in a realistic manner.

Wanting babies? More like having babies. These women are going to get pregnant whether they want to or not (unless they're infertile). Young, fertile people are getting pregnant right away whether they want to or not. A lot of the women's enthusiasm imo is their acceptance of the situation that this is going to happen regardless of what they want. And since they have show on television, they have added incentive to make this lifestyle seem like a blessing and not a burden.

I agree the young men seem to believe in fairy tales if they think they can have unprotected sex and not have loads of children. 

Edited by Temperance
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andromeda331

andromeda331

11 hours ago, RebeccatheWriter said:

Their conversations prior to marriage are very limited. We're talking favorite Bible verses and when they were Baptized. After courtship the conversations are primarily the same with the added pressure of discussing what they want engagement to be like. Then after engagement it's all about planning the big wedding. 

Supposedly there is a workbook they are supposed to do as marriage counseling, but they can't do the parts that talk about sex or any of that. One would think these guys would be logical about it and figure out that this is the norm for them. At this point they should watch the freaking show if they are confused. 

3 hours ago, answerphone said:

How can these young men be surprised at the women wanting babies ASAP? The men are raised with the same narrow minded cult ideas.

I think what they may be surprised at is how costly and tiring it is to actually raise a large family on a meager income. 

They probably aren't prepared in a realistic manner.

They really aren't. Despite all their claims that they court the best way possible. They really don't. They don't really talk about anything beyond Bible verses. They spent so much time praying, talking about verses and stuff but its superficial. Its not like they ever really dig deep or really talk about other things. Their not really taught too plus their always surrounded by chaperones so that's going to limit what you talk about too. Its not like their going to have a real frank talk about kids or seem to talk about anything important. From the Bates and Duggar is just absolutely expected to have kids and as many as you can. They really don't get to know each other until after their married. Each couple on both shows have always said the best thing about being married is no chaperones. They can finally be alone together and get to know each other.  They really just set them up for failure. Men get jobs that they can't possible support a large family they are suppose to be the sole provider and no one really seems to explain finances to them or the girls. The girls don't seem to know how to do anything despite that being what they were suppose to be learning growing up except Michael. 

Although Bobby could have turned on the TV at any point and watched BUB to see what he's in for. Chad probably could have done the same thing on the old 19 Kids when ever Erin was on. 

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RebeccatheWriter

RebeccatheWriter

13 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

I didn't even know she was pregnant.  Is Erin pregnant yet for the umpteenth time?

She just had her 4th this past fall.  Probably going to announce the fifth around Thanksgiving. 

Tori and Bobby announced this one with a photo of Made wearing a hat saying big brother.

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Temperance

Temperance

1 minute ago, floridamom said:

I read they changed the spelling of 'gray' to 'grey' because they thought it looked better on paper. Still sounds like a Crayola crayon color to me.

No it was grey and now it's gray. 

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babyhouseman

babyhouseman

19 hours ago, christine falls said:

Maybe someone clued them in that grAy is the typical spelling in America, and grEy is the typical spelling in England (or the UK in general). That's how I remember the difference. 

Fundies are super patriotic with America First. They might've been disowned if they used "Grey".

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cereality

cereality

(edited)

Interesting that it's a Bobby post instead of Tori. Usually gushing on social media is the fundie mom's job, but I suppose he figured it'd take her a year to get around to posting the pics and he wanted to share so he did it. Even when we see them in the red couch interviews, he DOES seem very happy about his son -- and now likely both sons. The rest of his life -- not so much -- he always comes across like he's just enduring an annoying wife, a job that he doesn't really want but at least he gets to work with BFF Kelton, a life in East Tenn that I don't think he really wants but at least there's Kelton . . . . He's aged a bit and he's only 25 and only married 2.5 years. He just doesn't have that fresh faced look he had when he came onto the Bates scene which had to be like 3-3.5 yrs ago max.

Edited by cereality
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Absolom

Absolom

For some reason, I feel the children having children more with these two than some of the older Bates offspring.  It may be from having seen Tori since she was fairly young or maybe the way she acts.  I don't know how long it will take me to recover from Carlin having a baby.

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