S09.E14: The Forever Decision

[Empress1]

10 hours ago, pdlinda said:

WAIT!!  Weren't Will and Jasmine in the Philly season?  If yes, wasn't the crux of the collapse of their relationship the fact that Jasmine wanted Will to support her 100% financially??? I seem to recall them talking about finances A LOT.

Yes, but they never had explicit "I make $60K a year and have $20K in student loan debt, my rent is $1000 a month and my car note is $300" conversations in that season (at least not on camera), and they've had those on camera in previous seasons. The Atlanta season was the first one I saw and all the couples expressly talked about their salaries, debt loads (if any), how much their existing housing costs were, and as a result, how much they should spend on the place they rented (themselves; the show didn't find places for them) for the duration of the show. With the Texas season, I remember Bobby and Danielle talking about how much it would cost to get her out of her lease and about her high credit card debt (I want to say it was like $20K, but I forget), and I remember Tristan talking about how much his rent was. That's what I meant by "financial conversations." They basically did their budgets on camera before, and they don't appear to be doing that anymore - they didn't here and they didn't in Philly.

[LennieBriscoe]

38 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Iris:  Two glasses per guest.

        You ain’t putting that big ugly thing in me.

Per Command #2:

Keith wouldn't know whether to feel complimented or insulted! 😉

[NoWhammies]

I didn't get to watch this until this morning, and I'm not all the way through yet, but I did just watch Iris get rejected and something sort of started knocking around in my brain. Iris's virginity has always been a third person in their marriage, and it is clearly Iris's true significant other. But I suspect she also uses it as a protective mechanism.  I think Iris has been hurt a lot in her short life. When I was a late teen and in my early 20s, I was very self-protective as well. Mine manifested in different ways, but I recognize the signs in Iris, such as how she looked devastated but then immediately bucked up after Greg's rejection. I'm like that still to a certain extent. There are times when I may be absolutely devastated inside, but I put on a brave face and power through because I don't want anyone else to see how sad I really am.

I suspect it's going to be easy for her when she's rejected in any relationship to believe that her partner just couldn't handle her virginity. It gives her a safe  fall guy. So I think it's a crutch. It sounds like from what her mom said she's been rejected a lot, and with her virginity, which is definitely unusual at her age and in this day and age, it gives her a convenient excuse.

I've always taught my kids that if there's something that happens over and over again in your life, the common denominator is you - not the thing that keeps happening, so you need to dig deep to discover what inside of you is causing that same experience to keep manifesting. I suspect Iris's virginity is her go-to common denominator. It protects her from looking at what the real issue is, which is something inside of her.

I wish her well and I hope she finds it, because she seems like at her heart she is a lovely young woman. Stuff like the rigidity and the yappiness are annoying, for sure, but those things tend to iron out with age and maturity. I think she has a solid core and has the potential to mellow and mature so that the beautiful young woman she is manifests consistently.

Also, I'm thrilled for Deonna and Greg. I'm also a tad shocked at how fast the decisions are going but also happy because I hate how much they usually draw these things out with all of that tense music. Meh. 

[Hangin Out]

6 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Per Command #2:

Keith wouldn't know whether to feel complimented or insulted! 😉

Good one, haha.   I’m thinking.  At 27, why wouldn’t she at least try?  Maybe in her past, she saw something, or maybe molested by a relative or someone and never said.  Maybe scared of the unknown?  I guess a good therapist is in order for her own sake.  Not Pepper .. that’s for sure.  If it didn’t happen by now, it probably never will.  I don’t get it.  If Keith stuck with the marriage, would it have happened eventually?  It’s a mystery.

[OnTime]

15 hours ago, boobtube said:

I understand Amber’s mixed feelings. I dated a guy like Matt for about 6 months. He was insanely handsome. Our first month together was incredible.

Matt, insanely handsome?? No!

Matt, insanely tattooed?? Yes!

[LennieBriscoe]

Are we allowed to comment on "First Look: Finale Reunion"? My Lifetime Channel had a 27-minute segment (I'm about to watch it), even though it's listed as only a "preview of the next new episode."

(Spoiler: Big Red is a brunette! 😈)

Edited September 13, 2019 by LennieBriscoe

[Hangin Out]

On 9/12/2019 at 12:41 AM, ECM1231 said:

I agree with your entire well- thought out post but especially the first part. Her mom seems so normal so I wonder where Iris has gotten her preconceived ideas about relationships from? Plus for a religious woman she comes off as very judgmental. If I were Keith I would have been out of there the 1st time she explained the 2 sinks for washing and no outside clothes on the bed. Too uptight and OCD. On a shallow note...her jewelry choices were fugly. 

Speaking of OCD, my adult son is going with a girl for a year and a half.  He loves her, BUT he can’t take the OCD anymore, so is gradually breaking up.  Sad for both.  In her mind, she thinks there’s nothing wrong with her.

[karenbrady]

5 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Are we allowed to comment on "First Look: Finale Reunion"? My Lifetime Channel had a 27-minute segment (I'm about to watch it), even though it's listed as only a "preview of the next new episode."

(Spoiler: Big Red is a brunette! 😈)

I watched first look at the reunion and  Iris is nuts, still very much in denial and ANGRY. Keep it moving Keith. KEEP IT MOVING.

[Booger666]

10 hours ago, Spectator said:

One thing I will say about Iris, she handled being dumped on national television with more grace than many ever could (again, recall when Sam ran outside in a fit of anger when Neil said he wanted a divorce). Even after she had time to process all of it and she and Keith were packing she never got defensive or angry or even sloppy sad. She just assured Keith that she would be good. That was all class.

Iris is classy and I didn’t expect her to be crazy or super angry, but I would expect her to be hurt on some level. She barely seemed upset about the breakup and I wonder how emotionally invested she really was as she claimed to have a great match and wanted to stay married.  I wonder if the sadness came after the cameras left or if she just had superficial feelings for Keith.  It would be interesting to know if her other relationships didn’t work out because they weren’t compatible or if it was because she couldn’t get to a place of having a real connection with someone.

[OnTime]

9 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Are we allowed to comment on "First Look: Finale Reunion"? My Lifetime Channel had a 27-minute segment (I'm about to watch it), even though it's listed as only a "preview of the next new episode."

Oh, I watched it.

I hope we can comment!!!

[Lindz]

5 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Given that half of American "normal" marriages end in divorce,  I'd say their odds are just as good....or bad. 

My understanding is that if participants opt for divorce on D-Day, the show arranges and pays for it. Any time afterwards, the costs are on the couple. So that's a possible motivation behind a decision not to keep hope alive. 

As for giving explicit reasons for wanting to divorce,  sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. 

Their divorce rate is about 75%! 😂 I was gunna say the "success" rate, but I don't consider dysfunction a success. It's not just staying married.

The spouses that STOLE from the show by faking & lying should pay for their own divorce!! 😂

Nah. Their spouse, AT LEAST, deserves that after being hurt by them, should they ask. They deserve the truth, FINALLY.

[karenbrady]

16 hours ago, Ohwell said:

The main reason I didn't like Iris is that she relished jutting that chin out and yapping about other people's problems/business.  She acted like some old busybody who sits on the porch watching all the goings on in the neighborhood.  Sipping lemonade, of course.

I'm now recalling how she behaved about the drawer liners. She was a petulant child who couldn't shut up about the liners. Lady  then go  get some liners, it's not that serious! Keith knew then that she was Wacko Jacko and I believe this was after she FREAKED OUT that A MAN had CONDOMS in his dresser drawer. So I was done with this nutbag way before lemonade-gate. Something is wrong with her. Even her dramatic daddy at the wedding was too much. God bless her mama. 

16 hours ago, boobtube said:

I understand Amber’s mixed feelings. I dated a guy like Matt for about 6 months. He was insanely handsome. Our first month together was incredible. Perfect first date, the best ever conversations, 3 hour phone calls, passionate sex. Then something switched off and he started treating me like garbage. I spent the next few months trying to get back to the pure bliss of our first few weeks together but it never happened. He wasn’t into it any more. It was confusing for me because I liked him so much in the beginning and he felt the same. Then a friend explained “He just wanted to get in your pants”. Oh.

He got what he wanted and was done with you. 

[humbleopinion]

I couldn't wait until next week to comment on Iris and Keith on the Aftermath/Reunion show...check out the Spec thread...

[karenbrady]

13 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Sitting there on D Day, Greg did look confident that Deonna would say Yes, so I'm guessing they had probably discussed their decisions before they spent the night apart. 

Deonna seemed like a nice person when she wasn't talking about walls, but my main gripe with her was that squeaky voice that had her sounding like a six year old.   And Greg did come off as whipped at times.  But hey, I wish them luck.

All of this. Well he's stuck with that silly voice and dude rag now but he's good with it because he is WHIPPED but how I don't know because she wasn't giving it up like that.  I didn't care for that 'match' at all. 

Edited September 13, 2019 by karenbrady

[Lindz]

13 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

Iris is classy and I didn’t expect her to be crazy or super angry, but I would expect her to be hurt on some level. She barely seemed upset about the breakup and I wonder how emotionally invested she really was as she claimed to have a great match and wanted to stay married.  I wonder if the sadness came after the cameras left or if she just had superficial feelings for Keith.  It would be interesting to know if her other relationships didn’t work out because they weren’t compatible or if it was because she couldn’t get to a place of having a real connection with someone.

Oh she was definitely hurt & some emotion escaped when she cried, but she shut it off & put on a brave face from the shock of it. Everything crumbled right before her eyes. He misled her, confused her, & blindsided her. It was effed up & she's allowed to act however she wants, it's done. I woulda cursed him out, but eh, maybe the lemonade is more worthy of her emotions. Definitely more valuable. 😉😂 #TEAMPETTY

I'd rather all dumped & screwed over spouses just keep it moving & never look back!! Their spouses aren't worth one more second. It'd be too badass to show no emotion.

[Hangin Out]

25 minutes ago, OnTime said:

Oh, I watched it.

I hope we can comment!!!

Whereand How is it listed? 

[humbleopinion]

The 30 minutes preview was on last night after the Couples Couch commentary show...

you may be able to on Demand it on your teevee

[qtpye]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

Yes, but they never had explicit "I make $60K a year and have $20K in student loan debt, my rent is $1000 a month and my car note is $300" conversations in that season (at least not on camera), and they've had those on camera in previous seasons. The Atlanta season was the first one I saw and all the couples expressly talked about their salaries, debt loads (if any), how much their existing housing costs were, and as a result, how much they should spend on the place they rented (themselves; the show didn't find places for them) for the duration of the show. With the Texas season, I remember Bobby and Danielle talking about how much it would cost to get her out of her lease and about her high credit card debt (I want to say it was like $20K, but I forget), and I remember Tristan talking about how much his rent was. That's what I meant by "financial conversations." They basically did their budgets on camera before, and they don't appear to be doing that anymore - they didn't here and they didn't in Philly.

I really miss these conversations. Hollywood always wants to make you believe that money does not matter as long as you have love. The truth is most marriages fail due to money issues and the stress it can cause.

2 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Oh she was definitely hurt & some emotion escaped when she cried, but she shut it off & put on a brave face from the shock of it. Everything crumbled right before her eyes. He misled her, confused her, & blindsided her. It was effed up & she's allowed to act however she wants, it's done. I woulda cursed him out, but eh, maybe the lemonade is more worthy of her emotions. Definitely more valuable. 😉😂 #TEAMPETTY

I'd rather all dumped & screwed over spouses just keep it moving & never look back!! Their spouses aren't worth one more second. It'd be too badass to show no emotion.

I think she was holding out hope that they could still have a future together due to what he said. I think she thought she could change his mind. I think that is why she seem hurt and resentful and talks about being misled in her most recent interviews.

[karenbrady]

On 9/12/2019 at 8:09 AM, becauseIsaidso said:

No surprise with the crazies, or Greg and Deonna (altho I think he's on the losing end of that one, but I'm hoping he's gotten to know her in positive ways that I just didn't pick up on), SO happy Amber kicked that asshat to the curb (sincerely wish I could have bitchslapped his nasty face when he was speaking so dismissively of her and his horrible behavior ) Keith is very wise in his decision, but not so much in how he replied to her whiney queries. But when she made the statement about Keith acknowledging there were things HE needed to learn it was crystal clear that Iris is spelled IIII ! He should have been really, really blunt or not made any further statement, and she needs to grow up. I hope she's one who reads boards like this one, but I'm afraid that even if she did, she'd dismiss any thing that didn't paint her as perfect. I've forgotten if they mentioned doing any follow up show, but I'm thinking that they will since it's pretty much the norm.

I agree. Greg is the loser. Dude was just happy to get a wife. Ugh.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

She was quirky and weird, but her quirkiness was at least a more genuine quirkiness, unlike Big Red. 

I will give Iris that - I do think that her quirkiness was entirely genuine whereas Big Red wants so badly to be the "fun, quirky one" that she spends all of her time playing that character.

Quote

They deserve the truth, FINALLY.

I've kind of lost the plot - what truth is it that you feel Keith didn't share with Iris? I thought he was pretty clear - you're a gorgeous and wonderful woman but not the right one for me.

I'd like to offer a slightly different take on the "I never say never" response Keith gave to the possibility of seeing Iris again. I've known people like this - they almost literally never say never because they truly believe that things can change and you can't predict the future. I've actually gotten a lot more careful about ruling out possibilities with absolutes like "never." I had my life all figured out. Bought a house, had a dog, and thought "this is my life. They are going to carry me out of this house toes up in hopefully about 40 years." I told that to anyone who would listen and I really and truly believed it. I was happy too - I wasn't settling for my life; I created it the way I wanted it. Then I met the greatest guy in the world, married him, acquired a daughter and three more dogs (plus a cat). Sold the townhouse and am a suburban mom (no minivan).

Never say never.

If Iris sorted out her issues - I don't know - maybe she and Keith could work out. I don't really see it but you never know. A lot of the features of Iris's personality that I found irritating might be different if she wasn't so focused on a single aspect of her anatomy and so bound and determined to define herself by that characteristic to the exclusion of anything else. If her rigidity is really a protective mechanism because of some deeper issues, she could deal with them and become much more relaxed and open. Who knows?

[sometimesjennifer]

5 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I really miss these conversations. Hollywood always wants to make you believe that money does not matter as long as you have love. The truth is most marriages fail due to money issues and the stress it can cause.

I feel like adding more couples just gives us less time to see the actual day to day workings of the marriages. This season we really only saw the couples in contrived, heightened situations. Gimme those moments where one of them is freaked out by the other trying to get into bed with dirty feet. As dumb as it sounds, those are the moments that stick with me. You can't tell me neither of Elizabeth's dogs ever shat in Jamie's shoes. Show me that, not moon water ceremonies. Show me the discussions of having cable vs just streaming services. Show me how they disagree about how to fold the bath towels. Show me a serious discussion about how much they will be able to afford for rent. We don't need to go down the spreadsheet a la Ricky Bobby but give us a taste of those moments, please. Somehow that feels so much more voyeuristic, peeping on their real life. If Deonna really has tax problems, and is willing to do a testimonial on a commercial regarding said problems as has been speculated, that would have been a MUCH more interesting conversation than repeatedly rehashing her emotional walls.

[Lindz]

29 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I think she was holding out hope that they could still have a future together due to what he said. I think she thought she could change his mind. I think that is why she seem hurt and resentful and talks about being misled in her most recent interviews.

He IS misleading!! But, it's dumb to be in denial. He said DIVORCE. Maybe they discussed being friends... I wouldn't. He HURT you, you FOOL!! LET HIM GO!! Maybe she's watching the show & seeing how he double-talked her, screwing the marriage. So, eh, at least he got to screw something. 😂😂 #TEAMPETTY

[Hangin Out]

46 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

The 30 minutes preview was on last night after the Couples Couch commentary show...

you may be able to on Demand it on your teevee

Thanks so much.

[Jeanne222]

13 hours ago, pdlinda said:

WAIT!!  Weren't Will and Jasmine in the Philly season?  If yes, wasn't the crux of the collapse of their relationship the fact that Jasmine wanted Will to support her 100% financially??? I seem to recall them talking about finances A LOT.

I think they gave a word or two about Gregg and his business being quite successful and also Jamie being able to take good financial care of his woman!

I sometimes wonder if that's why their ladies, Elizabeth and Deonna decided to give it a good shot for success.  We'll see.

Edited September 13, 2019 by Jeanne222
Wrote Keith instead of Gregg. Sorry.

[qtpye]

For those of you that do not mind being spoiled, @red12 , has an excellent analysis of Iris  and purity culture in the spoiler thread.

[luckylou]

7 hours ago, Lindz said:

Because there IS A REASON & EVERYONE should be adults & just SAY THEM!!!! NOT VAGUE, CONFUSING BS so both can, PROMPTLY, move on. You see how bs lies drag it out?? Totally counter to the type that just checks out. 😂

What if the reason is, “You are a nice person and very good looking. But I find you boring and, although I  can be your friend, I can’t stand the idea of spending every day with you.”  Wouldn’t you want to find some other way to say that? Some substitute word for “boring” ...

[Lindz]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

- what truth is it that you feel Keith didn't share with Iris? I thought he was pretty clear

Uhhhhhhhh. How about, "I've been faking & misleading you since ______. Sorry. Not sorry. I'm TRASH." To start. NOT vague, bs statements. I CAN'T STAND THAT SH*T! It's unacceptable, EXPLAIN what you're saying. Cite events, support what you're saying so we're CRYSTAL CLEAR. 😂

Edited September 13, 2019 by Lindz

[Jeanne222]

12 hours ago, Spectator said:

One thing I will say about Iris, she handled being dumped on national television with more grace than many ever could (again, recall when Sam ran outside in a fit of anger when Neil said he wanted a divorce). Even after she had time to process all of it and she and Keith were packing she never got defensive or angry or even sloppy sad. She just assured Keith that she would be good. That was all class.

I wondered if her not showing emotion was one of the problems they had in the marriage.  Maybe being sad and showing it would be all Keith would need.  I think inside Iris is somebody afraid to show their emotions, feelings and longings.

Sometimes people that don't show others how they are feeling come off cold and uncaring which we know wasn't Iris since she was so comforting to Keith when grandma died.

I don't think we ever saw the real Iris!

[karenbrady]

On 9/12/2019 at 10:08 AM, OnTime said:

Why do they call it "The Forever Decision"?

Does anyone really Greg/Deonna and Jamie/Eliz will be together forever?

Um hello no!! LOL

Just now, karenbrady said:

Um hello no!! LOL

[Jeanne222]

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Iris:  Two glasses per guest.

        You ain’t putting that big ugly thing in me.

And that my friends is why Iris shall remain the forever virgin!

[luckylou]

5 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Uhhhhhhhh. How about, "I've been faking & misleading you since ______. Sorry. Not sorry. I'm trash." To start. NOT vague, bs statements. I CAN'T STAND THAT SH*T! It's unacceptable, EXPLAIN what you're saying. Cite events, support what you're saying so we're CRYSTAL CLEAR. 😂

Wow!  How did he mislead her?  Of course, we don't know what was said when the cameras weren’t there.  But otherwise, he seemed patient, kind, easy going, but there was never any suggestion after the first couple of weeks that he was attracted to her... You seem to hold the fact that he was a nice guy against him.

[DrewPaul2010]

7 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Given that half of American "normal" marriages end in divorce,  I'd say their odds are just as good....or bad. 

My understanding is that if participants opt for divorce on D-Day, the show arranges and pays for it. Any time afterwards, the costs are on the couple. So that's a possible motivation behind a decision not to keep hope alive. 

As for giving explicit reasons for wanting to divorce,  sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. 

Actually not half of all marriages end up in divorce. The 50% figure is due to frequent fliers who divorce 2 or more times. Another shocking statistic, second marriages are more likely to fail then first marriages...

9 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I wondered if her not showing emotion was one of the problems they had in the marriage.  Maybe being sad and showing it would be all Keith would need.  I think inside Iris is somebody afraid to show their emotions, feelings and longings.

Sometimes people that don't show others how they are feeling come off cold and uncaring which we know wasn't Iris since she was so comforting to Keith when grandma died.

I don't think we ever saw the real Iris!

I think we often did and therein lies the problem...

[karenbrady]

2 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Good one, haha.   I’m thinking.  At 27, why wouldn’t she at least try?  Maybe in her past, she saw something, or maybe molested by a relative or someone and never said.  Maybe scared of the unknown?  I guess a good therapist is in order for her own sake.  Not Pepper .. that’s for sure.  If it didn’t happen by now, it probably never will.  I don’t get it.  If Keith stuck with the marriage, would it have happened eventually?  It’s a mystery.

Yeah I think maybe in her past she's seen a penis. I don't know whose penis but she didn't like it.  

[qtpye]

2 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I think they gave a word or two about Keith and his business being quite successful and also Jamie being able to take good financial care of his woman!

I sometimes wonder if that's why their ladies, Elizabeth and Deonna decided to give it a good shot for success.  We'll see.

This explains Big Red’s decision to me. First, Daddy took care of her financially and now its’s Jaime’s turn.

Edited September 13, 2019 by qtpye

[luckylou]

15 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I think they gave a word or two about Keith and his business being quite successful and also Jamie being able to take good financial care of his woman!

I sometimes wonder if that's why their ladies, Elizabeth and Deonna decided to give it a good shot for success.  We'll see.

I thought Keith worked as a basketball coach or something.  Somewhere on this site I saw reference to his being a musician, and on his Facebook it says he studied acoustic engineering at Greensboro or someplace.  I don’t have any real idea of what anyone does here.  We found out Greg has a big, nice house...what does he do?  I agree with those who liked the real life type discussions of money found on earlier seasons.  In truth, money and how you handle it is a big issue in many marriages.

[DrewPaul2010]

1 hour ago, Booger666 said:

Iris is classy and I didn’t expect her to be crazy or super angry, but I would expect her to be hurt on some level. She barely seemed upset about the breakup and I wonder how emotionally invested she really was as she claimed to have a great match and wanted to stay married.  I wonder if the sadness came after the cameras left or if she just had superficial feelings for Keith.  It would be interesting to know if her other relationships didn’t work out because they weren’t compatible or if it was because she couldn’t get to a place of having a real connection with someone.

At least she came away with her true lover...Virginity.

[Lindz]

2 minutes ago, luckylou said:

What if the reason is, “You are a nice person and very good looking. But I find you boring and, although I  can be your friend, I can’t stand the idea of spending every day with you.”  Wouldn’t you want to find some other way to say that? Some substitute word for “boring” ...

BAHAHA. Sure. You can say negative things in a nicer way. Just DON'T BS or hold back!! It's less about words & more about TRUTH. Actually explaining & referencing events would help with understanding. It's helpful & useful. This is the problem with lying & bsing in a "relationship." You should give more than bs, given all the time spent. No one's a hero trying to "spare feelings" by bsing. HONESTY is the hero! 😂

[Jeanne222]

Just now, luckylou said:

I thought Keith worked as a basketball coach or something.  Somewhere on this site I saw reference to his being a musician, and on his Facebook it says he studied acoustic engineering at Greensboro or someplace.  I don’t have any real idea of what anyone does here.  We found out Greg has a big, nice house...what does he do?  I agree with those who liked the real life type discussions of money found on earlier seasons.  In truth, money and how you handle it is a big issue in many marriages.

Sorry I meant Gregg.  I'll go change it.

[DrewPaul2010]

Just now, luckylou said:

I thought Keith worked as a basketball coach or something.  Somewhere on this site I saw reference to his being a musician, and on his Facebook it says he studied acoustic engineering at Greensboro or someplace.  I don’t have any real idea of what anyone does here.  We found out Greg has a big, nice house...what does he do?  I agree with those who liked the real life type discussions of money found on earlier seasons.  In truth, money and how you handle it is a big issue in many marriages.

In many marriages bills come in the front door, romance leaves out the back door...

[DrewPaul2010]

7 minutes ago, qtpye said:

This explains Big Red’s decision to me. First, Daddy took care of her financially and now its Jaime’s turn.

Was it obvious to everyone Jamie and Elizabeth had already confided their decision to each other? Elizabeth was scared he might renege and end the marriage.

Where would a marriage with Iris go? Three months later at the reunion we'd still be asking has Virginity gone to heaven? I think there was only one other couple that agreed to stay married with out sex during the eight weeks and that marriage was short lived.

[Lindz]

19 minutes ago, luckylou said:

Wow!  How did he mislead her?  Of course, we don't know what was said when the cameras weren’t there.  But otherwise, he seemed patient, kind, easy going, but there was never any suggestion after the first couple of weeks that he was attracted to her... You seem to hold the fact that he was a nice guy against him.

BAHAHA. It is NOT nice to double-talk, bs, say half-truths, or withhold relevant thoughts & feelings from the person involved & fake the funk til Decision Day!! That. SIMPLE. He was nice in the beginning when he was trying. NOT after that, making her think they're still growing the relationship. WHY not quit after those 1st couple of weeks then???? That'd be honorable & respectable. What? He's "nice" because he graced her with his presence & faked it til the end? COME. ON. 😂😂

Edited September 13, 2019 by Lindz

[Empress1]

15 minutes ago, luckylou said:

I thought Keith worked as a basketball coach or something.  Somewhere on this site I saw reference to his being a musician, and on his Facebook it says he studied acoustic engineering at Greensboro or someplace.  I don’t have any real idea of what anyone does here.  We found out Greg has a big, nice house...what does he do?  I agree with those who liked the real life type discussions of money found on earlier seasons.  In truth, money and how you handle it is a big issue in many marriages.

Jamie is a financial consultant so he probably makes a good living. (Charlotte has a healthy finance/banking industry - I've known a lot of NYC finance folks who moved to Charlotte.)

Elizabeth works for her father as an account executive, which could really be anything - that title means different things in different industries (in PR for example, it's a junior role), and her father straight up said he didn't expect her to do anything.

Keith is listed as a mentor/coach. He could do that as volunteer work though, if he's a working musician.

Iris works in youth mentorship; probably not that lucrative. I'd assume she works for a nonprofit.

Deonna is an operations manager. She may make a good living, depending on the industry.

Greg owns a tutoring center, which I think is also what Texas Tristan did for a living.

Amber is a middle school teacher.

Matt is an ex-basketball player, which at this point is code for "unemployed."

Edited September 13, 2019 by Empress1

[Lindz]

You know what? I'd actually be okay with BOTH of them faking til the end, instead of what he did. If he would've sat her down & said, "I'm done. What do you want to do?" That would've been "nice." 😂😂 If he would've actually tried addressing his issues/concerns. But, eh, he didn't care. So. We have to listen to more VAGUE bs, unless someone gets him to FINALLY say the WHOLE TRUTH!!

[Elizzikra]

39 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Uhhhhhhhh. How about, "I've been faking & misleading you since ______. Sorry. Not sorry. I'm TRASH." To start. NOT vague, bs statements. I CAN'T STAND THAT SH*T! It's unacceptable, EXPLAIN what you're saying. Cite events, support what you're saying so we're CRYSTAL CLEAR. 😂

But what do you think that he faked and misled her about. I'm genuinely confused. What events and dates did you want him to cite? Like "you looked pretty on this day but on that day I decided that we weren't compatible because you love some lemonade and I'm more of a soda kind of guy?"

[sasha206]

On 9/12/2019 at 12:54 AM, Ms.C. said:

Wow.  Loved Deonna and Greg.  And I love them equally.  Deonna was thoughtful and open to growing and changing the whole time.  These teo and Keith were by far the most mature, intelligent and compassionate on MAFS.  Itwas a pleasure watching them handle situations and staying adult. Just awesome people.  And I love Deonnas way of talking, her love of doing things, and her very loving looks at Greg  

No surprise Keith said no. He likes Iris and is attracted. But he noticed something all these specialists have not or have chosen to ignore. Iris needs an awful lot of counseling or sex therapy with professional surrogates which are available with therapy.  Keith used the right words “she is sexually immature.”  Smart and compassionate guy.   Iris will be a different woman once she can get past these hangups about intimacy.   Something happened in childhood.  

Amber too needy for a guy who has spent all adult life being independent. I can see why they didn’t work and not all Matts fault IMO.  He said it in many ways. He looked for full relationship. She was very dependent on him.   Did they ever just talk about mutual interests?  I don’t think they took time to know each other.  And really he’s having sort of midlife crisis and doesn’t really know what he wants.  So good split.  He is being pouty but he’s really not the whole problem   See, at end of program she’s still so needy   

Totally agree with you on Matt.  He clearly shouldn't have been "cheating" but I have a hard time feeling sorry for Amber.   These are strangers on a reality show that are getting married.  He wasn't that into her; she was way too needy from the minute the met.  And when they stopped having sex to see if there was anything else to the relationship, I got the feeling it was Matt that put the breaks on sex.   Of course, he shouldn't have been having sex with her at all if he wasn't into her.

Edited September 13, 2019 by sasha206

[Lindz]

3 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

But what do you think that he faked and misled her about. I'm genuinely confused. What events and dates did you want him to cite? Like "you looked pretty on this day but on that day I decided that we weren't compatible because you love some lemonade and I'm more of a soda kind of guy?"

Seriously??!! 😂😂 He stayed with her util Decision Day when he was done LONG BEFORE IT = FAKING & MISLEADING!!!! WHATEVER caused him to quit. "Your OCD about sinks, drawer liners, outside clothes on the bed... Your freak out over my condoms...." But really, "You're a virgin & I could teach you.... but I have to charrrrge." 😉😂 BAHAHA. Had to make it funny. The TRUTH sets BOTH free.

[sasha206]

1 minute ago, Lindz said:

Seriously??!! 😂😂 He stayed with her util Decision Day when he was done LONG BEFORE IT = FAKING & MISLEADING!!!! WHATEVER caused him to quit. "Your OCD about sinks, drawer liners, outside clothes on the bed... Your freak out over my condoms...." But really, "You're a virgin & I could teach you.... but I have to charrrrge." 😉😂 BAHAHA. Had to make it funny. The TRUTH sets BOTH free.

You realize that this is pretty much the expectation by the producers of the show?  So that there's some mystery as to whether they stay together or not so that people will watch the finale?

[karenbrady]

On 9/11/2019 at 9:48 PM, Straycat80 said:

Does Matt have all his stuff in garbage bags? Fitting, he’s a piece of garbage himself. 

I’m surprised Matt didn’t come to the cook out with a date. 

A date. Best comment on this forum. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Edited September 13, 2019 by karenbrady

[Brooklynista]

30 minutes ago, karenbrady said:

Yeah I think maybe in her past she's seen a penis. I don't know whose penis but she didn't like it.  

Yeah, I felt the whole "oral sex" confession was a lie she blurted out to get people off her case about her precious virginity. I can't see Iris as a giver or receiver and still being as uptight as she is about sex. I think MAYBE she has seen a penis and no, she didn't like it.

[Lindz]

3 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

You realize that this is pretty much the expectation by the producers of the show?  So that there's some mystery as to whether they stay together or not so that people will watch the finale?

No. There was no real mystery. We knew he was faking, just a matter of how long. & those questions are never answered. We don't want to see faking & playing nice until the end. We want the normal, "they have their issues, will they keep going?" 😂😂 WHAT percentage of viewers WON'T watch the finale?? We want to see, it's a given. If anything, they should tone down the fakers & abusers cuz we don't want to see them.