S09.E10: Are You Committed?

[OnTime]

14 hours ago, meligator said:

clearing his mind 😂🤣😂

What mind??

[Ohwell]

37 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Greg’s friend Piko Chu thought bubble....

Bro, that girl is not sexual enough for you.....time to pull the rip cord and bail......

Yes, that's what Greg's friend was trying to tell him.  *wink wink*

[Retired at last]

I thought it was interesting when Amber said that while he is nice on camera (WHAT???), he isn't like that at all when the cameras aren't there. And that he hadn't been home since the last time they were filmed. It seemed like she might be ready to accept that he was not the person she thought/hoped, then she goes and says, "But, I really like him."  WHY????? But, for me, it was interesting because it showed how fake this show is and that they really don't have to pretend to be married. Jamie was also gone for 2 days until he wandered back, "What's up?" I really detest both of those men.

And on Unfiltered, does Jamie Otis not realize that her stupid hair makes her look like a fool? I really did not like that show last night as all she did was try to get two people who weren't involved to gossip and talk trash about the other couples. It was funny when they had that reaction to Matt singing, but I am totally disgusted by that pink thing Big Red keeps wearing. How far after the shows do they film these and do they do it all at one time, after the fact. And, I mean much later after the fact. There is no way that these are done right after each show was filmed.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 hours ago, qtpye said:

Jaime is such a pathetic example of a man wanting a woman only for sex that is bordering on offensive cliche. ...He realizes she might not totally feel that way about his chubby Nosferatu physique and is punishing her for it. Jaime’s idea of "her using sex as a weapon" is her not having sex anytime he wants it. 

Exactly! Jamie even said something to the effect of, "She's probably the best wife I'll ever find" --which was an extremely self-centered remark, but Jamie is at least as self-centered as Elizabeth; he's just better at convincing himself (and others) that he's not. "Big Red" is pretty straightforward; "Sneery" deflects all blame onto others. That was made crystal clear when he "apologized" to Beth, and then objected to her saying she didn't want him to continue doing what he had just apologized to her for --his crazy, out-of-control, abusive angry rage attacks on her!

But it's 'whatever'... because both idiots decided to CONTINUE that crap anyway.

[MajorNelson]

3 hours ago, topanga said:

I don't know what's happened to Keith and Iris. From the beginning of their marriage, they had chemistry and seemed attracted to one another. But NOW they seem like strangers, more than when they first got married. Something has gone wrong. Is it as simple as Iris not wanting to have sex with Keith? 

14 hours ago, Ohwell said:

I can't believe Pastor Cal and keith didn't get to the very specifics of the problem, which has been commented on here several times, and I agree with:

Keith does not want to pop Iris' hymen and then have the marriage fail. So #1 he knows there is NO sex in these 8 weeks.  And I'm not even sure he would agree to stay on and work on this.  She may just be too attached to this virginity idea to ever get over losing it. 

If they had met organically, maybe.  But as to this "marriage", even 3 months from now, she can always feel manipulated by a show and never feel right about finally giving it up this way.

[topanga]

34 minutes ago, LillysPad said:

Only because it was HER idea to do the painting at that moment. Not Keith's. 

Was she even enjoying it? I couldn't tell by her facial expressions. 

[MajorNelson]

2 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

This is what happens when you marry someone you don’t know.  Even tho you go out with someone for a couple of years, there are still some surprises. Keeping company and living together are two different things entirely.  All these exercises and dice games don’t do a damn thing.

I agree.  They are working with so little information.  Consider a marriage with someone you've known for a few years or grew up in the same schools...

And those games are kind of in the "ice breakers" category, but they are not going to replace getting to know where someone is coming from, or what they are made of.

[Meowwww]

So, thoughts. 

Jamie has trigger words. “Crazy” “Insane” “Out of Control”. Probably because he’s had these words yelled at him in his past relationships.  If the shoe fits.....  he scares me, he’s much like an ex of mine .   Beth is no innocent either here.

Iris was totally checked out at her meeting with the experts.  Sure, she looked attentive, but all the “yeah” and “uh-huh” and “ok”, saying those right over the speech of the expert...she had those walls up. “ My precious gift” indeed.  She reminded me of Kathy Bates’ character in Misery (“I’m your biggest fan”) when she said that. I’m feeling for Keith, who appears to be a gem. There’s a third party in their marriage...the “precious gift”. Ugh. 

No words for Amber.  I hope she watches this back, learns something, and gets help.  She’s not ok. 

Greg and Deonna.  I think she’s closed off more in front of the cameras and I feel like, when they are not being filmed, she’s more open.  I am concerned that her new definition of herself as unable to express her feelings will take over her persona, much like Iris and her “ precious gift”. (Can you tell I HATE that phrase?😜)  Greg is another gem.  

Edited August 15, 2019 by Meowwww
Clarity

[MajorNelson]

2 hours ago, red12 said:

Last night Elizabeth's behavior and words reiterated my observation during the "vanilla sex" episode that she is limited in vocabulary and possibly reasoning ability. 

 I don't think she actually understands how to say "I need you to not charge into a room after me because it makes me feel stressed and anxious." instead of "Stop acting crazy!". So, when Jamie and his weird stare tell her he feels insulted, she's like "okay, don't be out of control." Inability to accept responsibility plus, limited vocabulary and emotional intelligence are a bad combo for these two.

Wow, this is very insightful.  I have definitely run into people with those limited verbals skills.

As to Jamie saying to Pastor Cal that he couldn't see life without CrazyLiz, I was floored.

[topanga]

I wish there was a speculation without spoilers thread because I wonder what the producers plan to do with the last few episodes of the season? Besides the final Decision-day episode, that is. 

I still wouldn't call this season boring, but I'd say the couples have been dealing with the exact same issues in the exact same ways for several weeks now: 

• Iris has her precious gift and isn't sure she wants to share it with Keith. Keith used to see Iris as a great match, but now he's on the verge of telling her to take her precious gift and shove it where the sun don't shine--up her white-white wedding dress.
• Amber is needy and clingy, and she has no sense of self-worth. Matt is shady, sneaky, dishonest, and downright cruel to Amber. I get being an introvert and needing to have time away from people to recharge. But that's not what this is, and Matt knows it. 
• Deonna is distant and unemotional. Greg is patient and kind but isn't getting what he needs from Deonna, either emotionally or physically. 
• Jamie and Elizabeth are on the verge of killing each other. I can't figure out which one is crazier or more vindictive--it's like splitting hairs at this point. 

I wish there was something more active going on with these couples. The so-called experts are supposed to be catalysts for either changed behavior or further discussion among the couples.  But that hasn't really happened.

Couldn't we have the couples do something like go to an all day retreat? Even if it's in the conference room of their apartment building. They could break off into their respective married pairs and write down on white boards all of their issues and concerns, and then finally discuss them in a real way. Okay, maybe this sounds boring to some of you, but I would love to hear those conversations. I can see Keith talking to Iris: "If you say 'my virginity' one more time, I swear I will scream. Trust me, Iris, you are the only person who's impressed by your inability have sex. You don't even want to fucking talk about having sex!" --corrected. Keith wouldn't curse at Iris--he's too much of a gentleman. 

Activity 2: Same retreat, but mix up the couples. Since everyone except Deonna has been on Unfiltered, everyone except Deonna has seen footage of the other couples' issues. In these swapped couple pairs, bring up an issue: e.g. Jamie and Beth's cruel arguments, Amber's emotional weakness, Matt being an all-around POS, Deonna being emotionally constipated, etc. Let the swapped couples give each other their outside perspectives on the issues. Yes, it's the blind leading the blind, but then again, the wise, objective experts have done a shitty job so far of helping these couples. 

What else would be fun and/or helpful? Let me think about it. 

[Neurochick]

Matt be like:

And Amber's like, "I'm giving you a curfew of 2:30am."  

Seriously, I think this show was just a response to people wondering why the experts didn't intervene with Luke and Kate last season.  The thing is though, you can tell a grown adult that you'll support them if they leave, but you can't MAKE them leave.  

[nutella fitzgerald]

3 hours ago, gumbo said:

I feel like the previews get crazier and crazier

Are there previews when the show airs? I thought it just abruptly ended after Keith licked highlighter off of Iris.

[Neurochick]

12 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Dionna didn't respond to that in any kind of normal way. All she did was say that she knew that story must have been hard for him to share with her

I didn't see anything wrong with Deonna's response.  She responded to him the way she knew how.  I don't like to expect people to act the way I think they should act, I mean who am I to tell someone how to and how not to be?

[karenbrady]

15 hours ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Matt’s complete lack of give-a-shit will whittle Amber down to a nub.  He’ll violate their new 2:30 rule, then it’ll be, “Okay, just be here by sunrise.”  Then it’ll be, “Okay, just let me know you’re alive within 24 hours of leaving the apartment.”  I can’t imagine how devalued Amber must feel, but at some point, you only have yourself to blame when someone keeps mistreating you again and again. 

And last it will be "okay Matt, just bring your girlfriend home with you.. I just want you here"

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I didn't see anything wrong with Deonna's response.  She responded to him the way she knew how.  I don't like to expect people to act the way I think they should act, I mean who am I to tell someone how to and how not to be?

Of course Deonna can respond to Greg any way she wants to. 

And if her response is a stone-faced, dry-eyed, monotone "I know that story must have been hard for you to share with me," followed by Deonna staring off into space without even decreasing the distance between the two of them --then that's her response. 

But Greg is also going to react to her response in some kind of way... and I just can't imagine any world in which her response would have made Greg feel all warm and fuzzy and embraced by a sense of deep, shared understanding. 

Edited August 15, 2019 by Crazy Bird Lady

[discoprincessthe2]

16 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Jesus Christmas! Matt just break it off already. Maybe they'll let your homeless ass stay in a studio apartment in the complex until the reunion or something. .

Do they do something like this with the aufed contestants on Project Runway? 

16 hours ago, Ohwell said:

And she wants him to text her twice.  No problem.

Except it was a problem when he stopped responding to her texts the first time...

15 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Jamie will never change.  He is what he is.  Take it or leave it Elizabeth.   They can’t stay apart and they can’t live together.  A double edge sword.

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, Retired at last said:

And on Unfiltered, does Jamie Otis not realize that her stupid hair makes her look like a fool?

Agreed. Those stupid extensions are ridiculous, but all I could think was it's too bad Liz doesn't have Jamie's Lady Godiva extensions to cover her overexposed bosoms.........

Edited August 15, 2019 by Ilovepie
Spelling

[Neurochick]

1 minute ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

And if her response is a stone-faced, dry-eyed, monotone "I know that story must have been hard for you to share with me," followed by Deonna staring off into space without even decreasing the distance between the two of them --then that's her response. 

But Greg is also going to react to her response in some kind of way... and I just can't imagine any world in which her response would have made Greg feel all warm and fuzzy and embraced by her deep, shared understanding.

First, Greg's story was a lot to take in.  It takes a while for some people to process stuff.  I think Deonna was like, "whoa, that's a story."  Maybe HE didn't want her to grab his hand, stroke it and say, "it's okay baby."  It WAS a hard story to share, especially on camera.  My reaction just watching the show was, "damn, I don't know what to say."  But that doesn't make me cold and heartless.  We don't know what happened when the cameras left.  And judging by what Amber said, you can't really trust how people act on camera.

[topanga]

27 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I didn't see anything wrong with Deonna's response.  She responded to him the way she knew how.  I don't like to expect people to act the way I think they should act, I mean who am I to tell someone how to and how not to be?

3 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Good for you. 

Of course Deonna can respond to Greg any way she wants to. 

And if her response is a stone-faced, dry-eyed, monotone "I know that story must have been hard for you to share with me," followed by Deonna staring off into space without even decreasing the distance between the two of them --then that's her response. 

But Greg is also going to react to her response in some kind of way... and I just can't imagine any world in which her response would have made Greg feel all warm and fuzzy and embraced by her deep, shared understanding.

I don't think Deonna is wrong for being who she is. I think the problem is that she's digging her heels into who she has been for the past 10 years, even though it means that Greg is being left out in the cold, both emotionally and physically. 

I'd hope Deonna understands that being married involves some give-and-take. It's not just about you anymore. Your actions affect another person's feelings and another person's life. Greg has certainly adjusted his expectations based on Deonna's personality and her feelings. I hope she would challenge to self to take Greg's feelings into consideration as well. 

It's similar to what Matt is doing to Amber, though nowhere near as cruel, of course. 

Matt's thing is that he hates being around people for too long. He hates being in one place for too long. So he goes away for 1-2 days. It's not fair to Amer at all. But it is who he is. He gives lip service to Cal and Pepper that he's willing to change, but so far, he hasn't changed one iota. 

I like Deonna, and I don't think Deonna is exactly like Matt. But like Matt, she's been treating Greg as if her feelings are the only ones that matter. Even though she says differently, her actions are telling Greg that he should shut up and be happy with whatever crumbs she's willing to toss his way. And that's not fair, either. 

[Neurochick]

6 minutes ago, topanga said:

I like Deonna, and I don't think Deonna is exactly like Matt. But like Matt, she's been treating Greg as if her feelings are the only ones that matter. Even though she says differently, her actions are telling Greg that he should shut up and be happy with whatever crumbs she's willing to toss his way. And that's not fair, either. 

Maybe something is wrong with me, but I didn't see Deonna reacting to Greg's story in a harsh or unemotional way.  It's not like she got up and left in the middle of Greg's story.  

Edited August 15, 2019 by Neurochick

[topanga]

2 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Maybe something is wrong with me, but I didn't see Deonna reacting to Greg's story in a harsh or unemotional way.  It's not like she got up and left in the middle of Greg's story.  

True, but earlier in the season when Greg told Deonna he likes compliments, she told him, "You have high self-esteem. You don't need compliments." 

Or when he very gently started a discussion about when they might have sex again, she sighed and said it was something that should happen naturally. Greg seemed like he was naturally ready to have sex at any moment, or he wouldn't have posed the question. Deonna either didn't recognize that or chose to ignore it. She never acknowledges that Greg has sexual feelings and would love to have sex with his wife. 

[Soup333]

2 hours ago, OnTime said:

What mind??

Maybe that’s why he’s gone so long. 😂

I wish I could just shake some sense into Amber. Girl, it’s not happening. Matt is an ass for stringing this along and half heartedly saying he won’t hurt her and then staying out again. This is nothing but a check to him. I wish she’d see that. 

I wish I could free Iris from her precious gift. It’s becoming a prison. 

[Neurochick]

9 minutes ago, topanga said:

Or when he very gently started a discussion about when they might have sex again, she sighed and said it was something that should happen naturally.

I took that as her telling Greg to stop analyzing everything.  They had sex after the party, I believe.  Deonna saw Greg relaxed, having fun.  That was attractive to her.  If someone asked me flat out when we'd be having sex again, that would be a huge buzzkill.

Quote

I wish I could just shake some sense into Amber. Girl, it’s not happening. Matt is an ass for stringing this along and half heartedly saying he won’t hurt her and then staying out again. This is nothing but a check to him. I wish she’d see that. 

Matt doesn't want Amber.  Matt doesn't want to be married to anybody, IMO.  You can tell Amber to leave until you're blue in the face, but if she won't leave, she won't leave.  😔

And the worst part about Amber and Matt is she's still physically attracted to him.  I would not be surprised if on Decision Day she says she still wants to be married to Matt. 😞

Edited August 15, 2019 by Neurochick

[Soup333]

5 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Matt doesn't want Amber.  Matt doesn't want to be married to anybody, IMO.  You can tell Amber to leave until you're blue in the face, but if she won't leave, she won't leave.  😔

Yeah, I agree. I think the show was just something for him to do while he got his business off the ground or got another contract. I don’t think he was ever serious about it, which is the real reason no one was his family was invited to the wedding (or has been seen since).  

I wish Amber would get this but he’s probably tossing her the bare minimum of crumbs to make her think he might change.

[gonecrackers]

16 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I took that as her telling Greg to stop analyzing everything.  They had sex after the party, I believe.  Deonna saw Greg relaxed, having fun.  That was attractive to her.  If someone asked me flat out when we'd be having sex again, that would be a huge buzzkill.

Yup... Deonna doesn't want to plan, she wants to let it happen. She also obviously finds Greg very attractive when he's not chasing or being so preoccupied with her. When he's relaxed & just being him, she found him so attractive she wanted to have sex with him. When he starts planning & pushing, even gentle nudging, she tries but it puts her off. He needs to just relax & be himself, because she really likes him - go out & have fun together, share more experiences, be around other people, etc, & he'll get more intimacy from her in every way.

And they could already be having/doing all of it (hopefully!) but the show is not letting us in on it.

Edited August 15, 2019 by gonecrackers

[Gem 10]

16 hours ago, ShowFan said:

Can someone explain to me how limiting yourself to blowjobs at nearly 30 is a “gift”? 

I was quite impressed with Greg’s friend. He said some pretty wise things right there. Deonna is super boring to me and I find watching them a huge snooze (mostly because of her)

She’s got a good guy there and she’s hesitating and being coy.  She’s calling the shots .. when, how how often, etc.  what a put off.  At 30, she doesn’t realize how lucky she is.  Have fun finding another like him.

[LennieBriscoe]

So, let's see....

We've got a woman who's never had sex and won't have it now, much to her husband's dismay. 😕

We've got another woman who has had sex but won't have it now, much to her husband's dismay. 😔

We've got a third woman who has had sex and has it now but not frequently enough, much to her husband's dismay. 😡

Finally, we've got a fourth woman who has had sex and has it now as frequently as possible, much to her husband's dismay! 😝

[Gem 10]

23 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Maybe that’s why he’s gone so long. 😂

I wish I could just shake some sense into Amber. Girl, it’s not happening. Matt is an ass for stringing this along and half heartedly saying he won’t hurt her and then staying out again. This is nothing but a check to him. I wish she’d see that. 

I wish I could free Iris from her precious gift. It’s becoming a prison. 

She’s too easy.  Maybe if she went in reverse and gave up being a dish rag, he’d be interested.  He comes home late and she has sex with him.  He’d come home and I’d have his bag and sneakers in the hallway, and tell him to go sleep where he came from.

[Ilovepie]

38 minutes ago, topanga said:

It's similar to what Matt is doing to Amber, though nowhere near as cruel, of course. 

I don't see that Deonna is anything remotely similar to Matt. Matt says the right thing on camera and then does the opposite. Deonna acknowledges that she needs to be more open, and I think we see her trying. YMMV, obviously, but I do get the feeling she is really in this, but she is just very closed off and it's hard for her to verbalize it.

If anything, I actually think she's more like Texas Danielle, in that she is not very warm or verbal in expressing her feelings. I wish the Robot had given her advice like Dr. Blondie gave to Danielle to maybe write what she was feeling down in a letter to let Greg know how she was feeling if she has trouble vocalizing it.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

She’s [Amber's] too easy.  Maybe if she went in reverse and gave up being a dish rag, he’d be interested.  He comes home late and she has sex with him.  

If Amber caught on to that and threw Matt out, then yes --maybe he'd come crawling back, and maybe she could more-or-less control his (disgusting) behavior by providing sex when he's a "good boy" and refusing it otherwise.

But why would she even want to do that?! Matt is a log of fecal matter in (very long and tall) human form. Matt isn't worthy of Amber, who, despite her (desperately) low self-esteem and her obcessed-fan worship of Matt (for playing basketball), seems like a reasonably good person at heart.

[princelina]

5 hours ago, Empress1 said:

 The experts can't force anyone to stay married or break up. If there are financial penalties for splitting early, that's one thing (and again, you'd have to decide if it was worth it - to me, leaving/preserving my safety & self-respect after being called a c*nt would be worth losing money over), but it's not like the experts or the show can tie them down and force them to stay married, or forge divorce papers for them if they think they should leave.

Or you could just rile your husband up until he packs up his cat and leaves!  Maybe Liz is smarter than we think 😄 

5 hours ago, red12 said:

Last night Elizabeth's behavior and words reiterated my observation during the "vanilla sex" episode that she is limited in vocabulary and possibly reasoning ability. 

I don't think she actually understands how to say "I need you to not charge into a room after me because it makes me feel stressed and anxious." instead of "Stop acting crazy!". So, when Jamie and his weird stare tell her he feels insulted, she's like "okay, don't be out of control." Inability to accept responsibility plus, limited vocabulary and emotional intelligence are a bad combo for these two.

Well she did say, "When I'm upset and go into a room and shut the door I don't want you barging in after me" - that seemed pretty clear to me.  I think Jamie needs to put on his listening ears.

[Gem 10]

13 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

I don't see that Deonna is anything remotely similar to Matt. Matt says the right thing on camera and then does the opposite. Deonna acknowledges that she needs to be more open, and I think we see her trying. YMMV, obviously, but I do get the feeling she is really in this, but she is just very closed off and it's hard for her to verbalize it.

If anything, I actually think she's more like Texas Danielle, in that she is not very warm or verbal in expressing her feelings. I wish the Robot had given her advice like Dr. Blondie gave to Danielle to maybe write what she was feeling down in a letter to let Greg know how she was feeling if she has trouble vocalizing it.

This is supposed to be a happy time for them and it isn’t.  Greg is so nice and understanding .. most men wouldn’t at this point.  Never mind about Deonna and HER problem.  What about him?  He has needs and affection, and deserves to be happy.  That’s why he came on this show, for a wife.  Her saying “do you need anything” before going to work is nothing.  He needs affection, understanding and respect as a man.  He is a beggar.  She doesn’t need more time.  At 30 yrs old and having had sex before, why is she procrastinating?  Get to it or leave the guy alone.  Either this show is scripted or the experts fucked up royally by putting her on the show with problems, whatever the hell they are.

Edited August 15, 2019 by Gem 10

[LillysPad]

2 hours ago, topanga said:

Was she even enjoying it? I couldn't tell by her facial expressions. 

Oh probably not. LOL   I think it was all for TV.

[LennieBriscoe]

Maybe instead of a bogus "Re-Commitment" episode, MAFS  could insert mid-way a "Re-Match" day! Like, let's possibly re-match now, given that the couples have not only MAFS, but have also met the other couples. 

I would now match:

Elizabeth and Keith. (And he wouldn't seethe in unresolved anger afterwards, heh.)

Amber and Greg. (She would compliment him a LOT, IYKWIM!)

Deonna and Jamie. (He could talk, talk, talk, and her noncommittal responses wouldn't tick him off!)

Iris and Matt. (He could stay away as long as he wanted!)

[Gem 10]

5 hours ago, karenbrady said:

Hi! How do you reply to another poster's comment?

Just press the FIRST icon on the left bottom and “Quote” will come up, and press that and the other posters quote will come up and you can respond.

[humbleopinion]

Greg....Deonna’s hurt is too deep and raw for you to heal.

You deserve someone who will jump your bones and enthusiastically humpty dumpty with you

Would have at least held your hand and offered a kiss on the cheek when you shared that poignant story of your Dad hurting your Mom...even an iceberg would have offered a hug.....

[Auntie]

4 hours ago, OnTime said:

clearing his mind 😂🤣😂

That shouldn't take very long, he's about as dumb as they come.

[MajorNelson]

1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Maybe instead of a bogus "Re-Commitment" episode, MAFS  could insert mid-way a "Re-Match" day! Like, let's possibly re-match now, given that the couples have not only MAFS, but have also met the other couples. 

I would now match:

Elizabeth and Keith. (And he wouldn't seethe in unresolved anger afterwards, heh.)

Amber and Greg. (She would compliment him a LOT, IYKWIM!)

Deonna and Jamie. (He could talk, talk, talk, and her noncommittal responses wouldn't tick him off!)

Iris and Matt. (He could stay away as long as he wanted!)

Iris and Jamie - horndog with the virgin

Keith and Deonna - the talkers

Amber and Gregg - Might actually work, she'd feel secure and would like his wanting her, and he'd get the sex he wants (etc)

Matt and Elizabeth - the two emotionally challenged ones, fire and ice.

Edited August 15, 2019 by MajorNelson

[Ohwell]

Keith.  Before you leave Iris's virgin ass just make sure you leave a big ol' jug of lemonade in the fridge for her. 

[humbleopinion]

 Cringed every time Cal and Keith said “take her virginity”.

Keith does not want to Kool Aid Kid through her barrier because Iris would drag how he plucked her into E V E R Y conversation post coitus ad nauseam.

Keith would immediately regret being Numero Uno down her hallway.

Edited August 15, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Pastor Cal dropped the ball with Matt. His “Where were you, man,” was too tame. Notice when he asked if there was another girl, Matt did not say yes or no but instead said that it was disappointing that Cal would ask that question. WTF does that mean? Why did Cal not push that issue. What was with the stupid faces Matt was making? Where were Cal’s balls during that questioning?

That pissed me off too. "Clearing my head" is not a place. It does not answer the question, "where were you?" I'll give Matt this much - I think on the rare occasions he is with Amber, she cannot leave him alone. Instead of dealing with that, he leaves altogether, and without the basic decency or respect for the person he married, he doesn't tell her where he is or respond to any of her calls or texts. 

I was also irritated that Amber said their problem is that they don't spend enough time together. That isn't their problem (or maybe it is) but it's separate and different from "he stays out all night and I don't know where he is." He could spend all day every day with her and disappear overnight and there would still be a problem. 

He could be cheating. He could just be immature enough to think that staying out all night drinking and then passing out on someone's sofa is a good time. He could just really dislike Amber and not want to be in the same space with her for any longer than it takes for them to have sex. I don't know. But even if he follows her minimal "rules" their marriage will still be miserable. They need to give it up now and move on.

Quote

clearing his mind 😂🤣😂

He's good at it. That mind is as blank a slate as I've ever seen.

Quote

 Cringed every time Cal and Keith said “take her virginity”.

I am so sick and tired of this plural marriage - Keith, Iris and Iris's virginity. Her virginity is like an entirely third entity in their marriage and on this show. I'm slightly more fond of Iris's virginity than I am of Matt, Jamie and Elizabeth. 

It reminds me of a girl I knew in college who was going on a date with a guy she'd been seeing. When she got back, I asked her how it went. "The three of us had the best time" she answered. I looked puzzled. "Yeah - me, New Guy, and God." That's what I think of every time someone mentions Iris's virginity.

And while I'm on the topic, Iris, virginity and sexuality are NOT the same thing. You can have a whole sexual identity even as a virgin. Any time sexuality is mentioned, she throws the v-card. It's not all there is! I was embarrassed for her during the dice game - her behavior was so juvenile. Keith wasn't even allowed to touch her boob! He has the patience of a saint.

[humbleopinion]

Iris had the same pre orgasmic face drinking her lemonade at breakfast and as Keith lapped and slurped up her inner thigh...

 Iris was stressed because Keith did not wash his face in the face sink before he started....

The edible markers were not sealed with tamper proof plastic....was that organic dye or Red Dye #2?

Homestead Lemonade makes you tingle in your special place.

Keith should freeze some of the Homestead Lemonade into ice cubes and have Iris 9 1/2 weeks him blindfolded.....

Edited August 15, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

This is supposed to be a happy time for them and it isn’t.  

Hmmm....I think you and I will just have to agree to disagree re: Deonna, @Gem 10. I think it’s a complete oversimplification of their situation. I don’t get the sense that Greg is miserable here. Maybe concerned, but it seems like they do get along and I think they are handling their issues pretty maturely. If Greg has needs that aren’t being met, he does have some responsibility to speak up. He seems like a great guy, but constantly checking up on her and her feelings is a lot of pressure which is why I think she wanted things to progress more organically, rather than him trying to find the magic combination to Deonna’s heart. I think they have connected on a deeper level than the other three couples, and she seems genuine in her desire to meet Greg’s needs, but it just might be she doesn’t know how to get there. I am basing this on her answer when Dr. Robot asked what it would take for her to say no on decision day. Her answer was not about anything Greg was doing or not doing; she was aware her own issues of being closed off was the problem. Self awareness is usually a good place to start!

Bottom line, to me anyway, I guess I just don’t see any major roadblock for them to overcome. Neither has any glaring character flaw that is fatal, they both like each other and are mutually attracted, and their beliefs align. I think they were a good match and I hope they stay together.

[Kareem]

Greg “checks up on her” because he only has eight weeks to determine whether he wants to stay with the ‘berg after that time.  Like most normal people, he seems to wonder whether sex is going to be a part of his future once married, or whether she will continue to snipe at him, make him jump through hoops and blame her past for her present state of iceberg.  

[Ohwell]

I do think that Greg has been overdoing it with the excessive compliments, lights in the bathroom, rose petals on the bed, etc.  However, it because he just doesn't know what else to do.  He's been trying to crack that nut/melt that iceberg/plow that field--you name it-- and so far it is not working for him.  If he left her alone and did/said nothing then she'd be angry at him for ignoring her. 

Sure, it's a good thing that Deonna is self-aware.  Lord knows, she sure does rattle on about it a lot.  But constantly yapping and actually doing something about the issues are two completely different things.  

Listen to your friend Piko, Greg.   

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I don't see that Deonna is anything remotely similar to Matt. Matt says the right thing on camera and then does the opposite. Deonna acknowledges that she needs to be more open, and I think we see her trying. YMMV, obviously, but I do get the feeling she is really in this, but she is just very closed off and it's hard for her to verbalize it.

If anything, I actually think she's more like Texas Danielle, in that she is not very warm or verbal in expressing her feelings. I wish the Robot had given her advice like Dr. Blondie gave to Danielle to maybe write what she was feeling down in a letter to let Greg know how she was feeling if she has trouble vocalizing it.

I don’t get it.  Deonna was very vocal when she told Greg once every other month.  She didn’t have any trouble expressing herself saying that.  He looked pretty shocked and hurt.  After one time, she makes a statement like that?  That was a downer to him.

[nutella fitzgerald]

3 hours ago, Soup333 said:

I wish I could free Iris from her precious gift. It’s becoming a prison. 

Yes, well, unfortunately, it’s something she can’t change. 🙄

[Gem 10]

10 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

I do think that Greg has been overdoing it with the excessive compliments, lights in the bathroom, rose petals on the bed, etc.  However, it because he just doesn't know what else to do.  He's been trying to crack that nut/melt that iceberg/plow that field--you name it-- and so far it is not working for him.  If he left her alone and did/said nothing then she'd be angry at him for ignoring her. 

Sure, it's a good thing that Deonna is self-aware.  Lord knows, she sure does rattle on about it a lot.  But constantly yapping and actually doing something about the issues are two completely different things.  

Listen to your friend Piko, Greg.   

You are right.  I don’t think Greg has had much experience in the romance department, therefore doesn’t know wh@ts enough or what’s not enough.  She is calling all the shots, and he doesn’t know what’s right or wrong to do.  So, he’s taking it hoping she.will come out of her shell.  He may just wind up with her and not be fulfilled.  There are plenty of people unsatisfied with their sex life but do nothing but chug along for the sake of their kids or not want to divorce.

[pdlinda]

20 hours ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

 I’m no expert, but it’s very clear, at least to me, that she needs some professional help dealing with this whole virginal identity she’s cultivated all these years. 

In order for professional help to be at all effective there has to be a recognition and acknowledgement from the person seeking it that there is a PROBLEM.  I don't see Iris as seeing herself having a "problem."  She seems to carry her status as a badge of honor and holds Keith responsible for having the "problem" in dealing with it.

I don't see Iris as having the intellectual heft or emotional depth to get out of her proscribed "persona" to seek to further develop as a mature adult.  I think she thinks she's fine as she is and was lured into doing the show as a pretext for projecting herself (I believe she has a high opinion of herself) on a national (international) stage as a very attractive and wholesome young lady of the highest moral character and who is also a housekeeping perfectionist.

I am curious regarding whether Iris' career financially allows here to live independently or whether she lives with family? I think I recall her working for a non-profit and that type of work pays notoriously low wages.

[Ohwell]

24 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

I think she thinks she's fine as she is and was lured into doing the show as a pretext for projecting herself (I believe she has a high opinion of herself) on a national (international) stage as a very attractive and wholesome young lady of the highest moral character and who is also a housekeeping perfectionist.

Yes to all of this.