Kandi Burruss: Atlanta's Own Willy Wonka

[RedKoolAide]

This is so sad. I can't imagine how Todd is feeling. RIP Sharon.

[Empress1]

Todd and his mom seemed really close. He must be devastated.

[cooksdelight]

Oh my Lord... God bless and keep her. And I hope Bravo has the sense to edit out any upcoming scenes that would be unflattering. They should do some sort of memorial for her, showing the funny, good times.

[WireWrap]

Todd tweeted this about an hour ago...   

 

Todd Tucker
‏@Todd167   Today I lost my partner, my ride or die my best friend! I don't know what to do? I'm lost! My heart… http://instagram.com/p/wIRJf-vHnL/

[Empress1]

That tweet is heartbreaking. I could cry.

[swankie]

Just heard that Todd's mom Sharon has passed away.  Condolences to Todd and his family.  So sad.  She seemed like a very nice person.  R.I.P. Todd's mom.  :(

Edited December 3, 2014 by swankie

[copacabana]

Sad news indeed. Let's hope that the she beast known as MJ has the decency to behave like a proper mother-in-law.  Terrible way to lose one's Mama. 

[Tallulahbaby]

Condolances to Todd. Such sad news.

[coloradoqt]

Shock and saddened to hear of Todd's Mom passing. My heart goes out to Todd's daughter, I'm sure she really feels alone now.

Out of respect for Sharon, let's not mention Kandi's mom. 

[SistaLadybug]

I'm so sorry to hear that.  God bless Todd and his family.

[Lucygirl2]

Poor Todd & Kayla :(

[MichelEliz]

idk why this makes me almost angry. Joyce has been nothing but a bitch and shes still here. Yes i know its wrong to feel that way, but when your life's existance is to make people miserable....And I hope right now that that wildebeast feels AWFUL about the way she treated Miss Sharon while she was here.

Its telling that he called his Mom his "ride or die" and has never once said that about Kandi. I cant see Todd suffering any more of Joyce's shit....and subsequently, dont see his and Kandi's marriage lasting.

Edited December 3, 2014 by MichelEliz

[twilightzone]

idk why this makes me almost angry. Joyce has been nothing but a bitch and shes still here. Yes i know its wrong to feel that way, but when your life's existance is to make people miserable....And I hope right now that that wildebeast feels AWFUL about the way she treated Miss Sharon while she was here.

Its telling that he called his Mom his "ride or die" and has never once said that about Kandi. I cant see Todd suffering any more of Joyce's shit....and subsequently, dont see his and Kandi's marriage lasting.

 

This should be about Sharon and Todd, not Mama Joyce.  Condolences to the family.  Such sad news.

 

This is what Kandi wrote in her Instagram http://instagram.com/p/wIZQlmhJHZ/

 

kandiburruss

12 hours ago

Today has been a tough day. Our family has suffered a terrible loss. Sharon was the best mother in-law! She was fun, energetic, loving, & caring. I loved how she liked to get up & go all the time. She would get you in check one minute & give you a hug the next minute. She still had a young spirit. It's unbelievable that she's gone. I'm so sad for @todd167 because they were so close... He talked to her every morning & all thru out the day, every day. It's hard losing people that you love but when it's out of the blue with no warning it just makes it that much harder.... I'm still in shock.

Edited December 3, 2014 by twilightzone

[MichelEliz]

This should be about Sharon and Todd, not Mama Joyce.  Condolences to the family.  Such sad news.

 

This is what Kandi wrote in her Instagram http://instagram.com/p/wIZQlmhJHZ/

 

kandiburruss

12 hours ago

Today has been a tough day. Our family has suffered a terrible loss. Sharon was the best mother in-law! She was fun, energetic, loving, & caring. I loved how she liked to get up & go all the time. She would get you in check one minute & give you a hug the next minute. She still had a young spirit. It's unbelievable that she's gone. I'm so sad for @todd167 because they were so close... He talked to her every morning & all thru out the day, every day. It's hard losing people that you love but when it's out of the blue with no warning it just makes it that much harder.... I'm still in shock.

ok....so lemme phrase it another way. Todd's Mom has just passed...and on TV right now is nothing but reminders of how poorly his Mom was treated. This marriage is a ticking time bomb of anger and resentment.

Better? :-)

[RedKoolAide]

I really feel terribly for Todd. I talk to my mom every day, too. I can't imagine what it's like for him to no longer hear her voice and laugh, to feel her love and have her encouragement. My condolences to Todd, Kayla, and everyone who loved Miss Sharon.

[copacabana]

Ain't nothing I mean nothing wrong with being concerned for Todd at this moment where MJ is concerned.  On the contrary -- his own Mama would appreciate it.  I don't imagine that the MJ craziness did anything at all to bring peace and light to Sharon.  Under different circumstances, one would be tempted not to go there but Joyce is a sociopath and I feel for Todd. 

[MichelEliz]

Ain't nothing I mean nothing wrong with being concerned for Todd at this moment where MJ is concerned.  On the contrary -- his own Mama would appreciate it.  I don't imagine that the MJ craziness did anything at all to bring peace and light to Sharon.  Under different circumstances, one would be tempted not to go there but Joyce is a sociopath and I feel for Todd. 

Todd is now an orphan....and the one person who should be stepping in as a Mama figure for comfort, is awful. And considering that if it were the other way around, Kandi would have a ton of support from his family? Effing sucks. Kandi better step the fuck up and lift up her husband, dude. If she can sideeye Phaedra for not visiting that pretty dumbfuck in the clank....Kandi better rise up and be the wife she needs to be for the good man she has at home.

Gawd, this has brought out my anger issues. I need to go have a drink :-/

Edited December 3, 2014 by MichelEliz

[ridethemaverick]

^^^Sipping some sweet tea with lemon right here with you! I think Kandi will step up and I am really hoping that MJ steps up also.

I think MJ should send flowers and condolences from afar for now. If I were Todd, I would be irrationally angry at MJ. Like placing a little blame on her irrational. Seeing her face would enrage me unless it was preceded by a thousand apologies and tears of regret and guilt. Edited December 3, 2014 by ridethemaverick

[ridethemaverick]

Maybe the hag does have a conscience.

"Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Mama Joyce regrets her toxic relationship with her in-law Miss Sharon, but still ... she has no plans to go to the funeral.

Mama Joyce famously belittled her son-in-law Todd Tucker and his mom Sharon Tucker on the show ... claiming he was money hungry and Sharon was a prostitute.

But now Joyce tells TMZ she is sorry for attacking Sharon by repeating gossip (which turned out to be false) -- and wishes they'd patched things up before Miss Sharon died on Tuesday.

Silver lining? Kandi Burruss' mom says she wants to have a better relationship with Todd.

MJ added she won't attend the funeral out of respect for Miss Sharon's friends and family. She knows a lot of people would be pissed if she showed her face ... so instead she's going to send flowers.

http://m.tmz.com/#Article/2014/12/03/miss-sharon-death-rhoa-mama-joyce-mother-in-law

[SistaLadybug]

That's not a conscience.  She's afraid of getting her ass beat by Ms. Sharon's family and she's afraid of losing her spot on RHOA as "Mama Prune Pit".  I can't stand that old bat.

[Betweenyouandme]

ok....so lemme phrase it another way. Todd's Mom has just passed...and on TV right now is nothing but reminders of how poorly his Mom was treated. This marriage is a ticking time bomb of anger and resentment.

Better? :-)

Say what you want to say. This is a forum about the show, and both women were on it. I liked your previous post, as well as this one.

[technorebel]

I'm sorry for Todd's sake. It's a hard thing to lose your Mom no matter how old you are. 

 

Not to be shady, but do we know Mama Joyce's whereabouts for sure when that stroke happened?  MJ is kind of like Medusa to me.  Take one look at her and zap! 

[appledumpling]

So sad to hear about the passing of Miss Sharon.   My thoughts and prayers go out to the Tucker family.  RIP Miss Sharon.

[swankie]

Ain't nothing I mean nothing wrong with being concerned for Todd at this moment where MJ is concerned.

 

 

I'm hoping that in light of this sad occurrence that the editing monkeys at Bravo are now hard at work editing out any and all appearances by MJ this season.   I don't want to ever see her ugly mug on my TV screen any more...EVER!  We can only hope!

[twilightzone]

ok....so lemme phrase it another way. Todd's Mom has just passed...and on TV right now is nothing but reminders of how poorly his Mom was treated. This marriage is a ticking time bomb of anger and resentment.

Better? :-)

Todd is going through the most difficult period in his life.  I seriously doubt he is thinking about some silly "reality" TV show which is staged and scripted to begin with - where they are all paid to play characters - magnify and heighten for TV drama and ratings.

Edited December 4, 2014 by twilightzone

[ZaldamoWilder]

Todd is now an orphan....and the one person who should be stepping in as a Mama figure for comfort, is awful. And considering that if it were the other way around, Kandi would have a ton of support from his family? Effing sucks. Kandi better step the fuck up and lift up her husband, dude. If she can sideeye Phaedra for not visiting that pretty dumbfuck in the clank....Kandi better rise up and be the wife she needs to be for the good man she has at home.

Gawd, this has brought out my anger issues. I need to go have a drink :-/

 

::runsat'chel::  wait!  wait for me.

 

 

Todd is going through the most difficult period in his life.  I seriously doubt he is thinking about some silly "reality" TV show which is staged and scripted to begin with - where they are all paid to play characters - magnify and heighten for TV drama and ratings.

 

I'd agree that he surely has bigger things than a tv show to think about.  But this is also Todd's real life.  I think it's valid to acknowledge that  how his mom was treated (by any and everyone) is one of the things that would be running through his mind right now.  Just thoughts about her overall.  Joyce may not be a very large or long part of that, but she's part of it.  If I've misunderstood what you're saying and you mean something closer to they're all just playing roles and Todd's a big enough boy to know that, ignore me girl.  I'm stating the above opinion as someone who tends to think MJ's sociopathy is a something not even Meryl Streep could act out.

Edited December 4, 2014 by ZaldamoWilder

[MichelEliz]

::runsat'chel::  wait!  wait for me.

 

 

 

I'd agree that he surely has bigger things than a tv show to think about.  But this is also Todd's real life.  I think it's valid to acknowledge that  how his mom was treated (by any and everyone) is one of the things that would be running through his mind right now.  Just thoughts about her overall.  Joyce may not be a very large or long part of that, but she's part of it.  If I've misunderstood what you're saying and you mean something closer to they're all just playing roles and Todd's a big enough boy to know that, ignore me girl.  I'm stating the above opinion as someone who tends to think MJ's sociopathy is a something not even Meryl Streep could act out.

I'm really just referring to not the active watching of the play-by-play...but the guilt of knowing it exists. If its fake, knowing that he drew his Mom into the shenanigans in front of the world, in her final days. If its real, allowing her to be verbally abused by someone associated with the person he chose to love and marry.

Either way, i wonder if Todd will continue to be involved with the show, or get off the ferris wheel. And if he's off, will Kandi even have a storyline?

And yes, I know the show is the least of their concern. But as a viewer, it IS a valid ponderance.

Edited December 4, 2014 by MichelEliz

[ZaldamoWilder]

^^ I was talking to twilight, but I gotcha, we're here <<>>  ;) 

[MichelEliz]

^^ I was talking to twilight, but I gotcha, we're here <<>>  ;) 

I was too!  #remedialquoter  ;-)

Edited December 4, 2014 by MichelEliz

[swankie]

This showed up in my youtube stuff. Kandi wrote a nice comment.

 

 

Riley sounded okay, but she always looks and acts so uncomfortable in front of the cameras.  And I didn't get the purpose of all the smoke.  It didn't seem to have anything to do with the song she was singing.  Was it supposed to mean, "When you need me, I'll be there...in case of a fire?"  Weird!

[cooksdelight]

(brought from the Friend or Faux thread)

Speaking of Kandi getting all up in arms at the table with Todd and Sharon.... it happens two times. When someone talks smack about Joyce or when someone waves a hand or a finger in Kandi's face. Cynthia waved her hands around once in Kandi's face and she literally went crazy. Crazy eyes, screaming, had to be pulled away (PJ party)

I think there is a reason why, and I think it's because Kandi was abused/beaten when she was growing up. Possibly by men she's dated as well. No one reacts that way, of someone getting too close to them, without there being a serious reason.

This is pure speculation on my part, but I've had friends who acted the same way. And their mothers were the reason. One girl's mother would beat her within an inch of her life if she came home late. And that girl worked her ass off to buy her mother nice things and gain her favor until the day she died.

[cooksdelight]

The woman just doesn't get it. Not once does she apologize or say "I really wish I hadn't said the things I did that were aired...."

http://kandionline.com/kandi-remembers-mama-sharon-with-heartfelt-message/

[AnnaL]

Joyce is an emotional vampire but she is all Kandi knows, Kandi can't see it because this is all she has known, the emotional manipulation of MJ known no bounds. If Kandi would have gone to any kind of therapy she would have learned how to cope with it and maybe even how to put healthy boundaries between her mother and her.

 

This situation between MJ and Kandi perfectly highlights the point that I have always argue about when I have seen or read many comments about other Bravo HWs who have broken relationship with their mother or parents, the reality is that we do not know what has happened between them to lead them to this decision. We are mentally trained to assume that a person should have some kind of relationship with her parents when sometimes that is just not possible. A person who has no relationship with her parents is looked down as damaged, as a probably awful person who can't even get along with her parents, we judge them, we label them. Look at Kandi and you have the perfect example as to how sometimes the boundaries have to be enforced to prevent insanity.

 

The perfect solution would be healthy boundaries but when that is not possible one must perserve peace of mind and sometimes that calls for drastic measures, by all accounts Joyce was a great mother, she helped Kandi with Riley, she was there when nobody else was, there is probably thousands of pictures of both of them smiling, lots of evidence of a perfect relationship and yet when you get to scratch the surface a little bit, you see all this dysfunctionality that even a blind person can see but not Kandi.  A good therapist would have helped Kandi to understand this and get a very healthy distance from her mother but it doesn't seem like something either Kandi or Joyce would consider seriously.

 

Our unique relationship with our mothers are just that, unique, probably crazy to the outside world sometimes. That is why when I read or watch a person cut ties with her mother or father I assume that there are plenty of reasons why this happened and try not to judge. Parents are human beings, they can't be perfect, some of them are so imperfect that sometimes they should have never had kids, yet they did and the dysfunctionality of their lives translates to the dysfunctionality of their realtionship with their kids. To pretend that every child should have a realtionship with a toxic parent is like pretending that every marriage can be saved, there are some times when that is just not possible.

[RedKoolAide]

I think Kandi is just like Joyce but she's more stealth with her bitchiness. I do agree that Kandi may have been abused. I also think she overcompensates by buying things and having her mom's back because she's her last surviving child. Someone in another thread mentioned survivor's remorse. I think that fits Kandi pretty well.

But I also think Joyce has always been a mean ass, unapologetic, guilt-trip heavy bitch. Kandi is used to it after 35+ years. I don't think it's right but Kandi will never see there's anything wrong if she doesn't get therapy. She thinks the shit her mom does is funny and I think it goes beyond nervous laughter. She laughs at the ignorant ass shit her aunts say, too.

Kandi is an enabler. Joyce AND Riley say and do what they want because Kandi is okay with it. Kandi is very dismissive of other people's feelings when it pertains to her daughter, her mom, and herself. If their (justified)feelings are contrary to the way Kandi thinks they should feel then she brushes it off.

Kandi is exhausting.

[swankie]

Our unique relationship with our mothers are just that, unique, probably crazy to the outside world sometimes. That is why when I read or watch a person cut ties with her mother or father I assume that there are plenty of reasons why this happened and try not to judge.

 

 

Case in point, Kim Zolciak and her parents.  She said on WWHL she hasn't seen them since her and Kroy's wedding where she had security escort them off the premises.  I highly doubt this will ever happen with Kandi.  Probably the only thing that would possibly make Kandi turn her back on her mother is if she does something to hurt Riley and I don't think Joyce is going to do that because Riley is her "good good grandchild". 

Edited December 16, 2014 by swankie

[quinn]

IMO Joyce is doing what she's doing and getting rewarded handsomely for it (a 7 bedroom house with her name on the deed!!!) because she is making her daughter relevant on RHoA. To be sure they have a dysfunctional relationship and Joyce is a piece of work who's ridden roughshod over Kandi long before RHoA and made things difficult for her in relationships, but I don't think that Joyce has gone to the lengths that we've seen her go for the past couple of seasons otherwise she would have gotten punched in the mouth a long time ago by the family members of one of Kandi's previous loves, and I don't recall seeing anything in the Atlanta media about a member of a 90s girls group being caught up in an old lady brawls that broke out at a local Red Lobster.

Edited December 18, 2014 by quinn

[ZaldamoWilder]

Case in point, Kim Zolciak and her parents.  She said on WWHL she hasn't seen them since her and Kroy's wedding where she had security escort them off the premises.  I highly doubt this will ever happen with Kandi.  Probably the only thing that would possibly make Kandi turn her back on her mother is if she does something to hurt Riley and I don't think Joyce is going to do that because Riley is her "good good grandchild". 

 

I remember this distinctly because when it occurred, the majority sentiment on the boards was that Kim was dead ass wrong and a stone cold bitch for having done this.  Chile twop-ers dragged her ass for it.   Because, to AnnaL's point, people who have at least a working relationship with their parents do not and will not ever understand that the relationship has and can reach this level of dysfunction.  It is viewed as the incumbent responsibility of the child in the child parent dynamic to overlook what some (old lady gang/Kim's other wedding guests) will not even acknowledge is bullshit in the name of decorum.   They have no idea all the nonsense that Kim had already tolerated up to that moment, she was just wrong because you don't have your mom arrested or you don't throw your mom out of your wedding.   Well after years of you don't do that to your mom, a normal person has to bump up against their breaking point and say how bout in the name of preserving a relationship she won't do that to me? so yeah, sometimes you do.   Sadly, Kandi is not somebody who'll ever hit that wall with her mother.  For everybody who has, there is, at a minimum, a point of resistance where you're just figuring out (1) hey this shit's not normal, followed by (2) it's not normal and I don't like how it feels, then (3) I'm gonna tell her that and finally (4) it ends today.   Kandi has not once demonstrated that she even possesses the steps to self salvation so therapy or not she will not get to a place where she could institute them because she is not willing to do without Joyce.  That makes me so sad for her.

[cooksdelight]

Not to get off the Kandi topic, but Kroy is also now estranged from his family. Thanks to Kim. If Kandi isn't careful, she'll wind up all alone one day. Riley may not be quite as forgiving of her mom as Kandi is of Joyce, if Kandi tries to go all crazy on her.

[SuzWhat]

On a shallow note, I need Kandi to stop doing that one finger, extended scratch of her scalp. On camera.

Edited December 21, 2014 by SuzWhat

[cooksdelight]

This is an interesting family holiday photo. Be sure to read the comments, they are hilarious.

https://www.facebook.com/KandiFans/photos/a.289501084379.143045.235984194379/10152974300829380/?type=1

[Bronzedog]

After re-watching a number of shows this weekend, I have to say, I hate Kandi.

[Brooklynista]

After re-watching a number of shows this weekend, I have to say, I hate Kandi.

Word!

And I've decided that the reason her and her momma can't unclench their teeth when they talk is because God is trying to keep the bullshit they spew to a minimum.

[goofygirl]

Kandi, if you're reading this, nobody wants to see "A Mother's Love" because it is shit. Pure stinky shit. Thank you and stay your ass at the house.  Better hang on to that other business of yours.  You're gonna need the money.

[technorebel]

I rather liked the bits of "A Mother's Love" that we got to see on this show, but I'm easy to please when it comes to musicals.  I would've gone to see it if it had been playing anywhere near me.  I wanted to order the DVD, but so many people were complaining of having paid and not received it, that I passed.  Kandi posted a message that the person hired to fulfill the DVD orders wasn't doing their job.  It makes me think that she's got some kind of organization problem, or maybe just a passing-the-buck problem.

[cooksdelight]

I wanted to order the DVD, but so many people were complaining of having paid and not received it, that I passed. Kandi posted a message that the person hired to fulfill the DVD orders wasn't doing their job

Seriously? She can't hire responsible, reputable people to handle distribution of her DVDs and her play? How the hell does she make any money? Whoever is handling Bedroom Kandi must be doing something right, yes? I get the impression she has no clue how to run an "empire". She is good with her music and that one sideline, the bedroom toys. But once she started to branch out, the tree started dropping leaves.

[NYCFree]

I can't hate on Kandi because I think she is a victim of long term psychological abuse. We can all see what's happening, Kandi simply can't. I'm in therapy right now, and one of my issues is needing my older brother's approval, even though I'm 48.

My husband has pointed out this out for years, but it wasn't until my therapist asked "why is this [situation] up to your brother?" That is really began to see how I let him control certain issues. Kandi needs to take the first step if actually seeing a counselor to get an outside opinion. I really feel for her.

[LotusFlower]

I can't hate on Kandi because I think she is a victim of long term psychological abuse. We can all see what's happening, Kandi simply can't. I'm in therapy right now, and one of my issues is needing my older brother's approval, even though I'm 48.

My husband has pointed out this out for years, but it wasn't until my therapist asked "why is this [situation] up to your brother?" That is really began to see how I let him control certain issues. Kandi needs to take the first step if actually seeing a counselor to get an outside opinion. I really feel for her.

I agree with all of this, but therapy's been suggested to Kandi many times, and all she does is roll her eyes. Man, her issues are DEEP. I hope she changes her mind one day. I don't get the sense she will - she'll probably just turn into her mother. But I hope so.

[msblossom]

Much to my surprise it looks like everything's ok in the Tucker-Burress household for now. Peeking at their Twitter feed they seem very much in love and together as always, not that I expect Todd to tweet what a bitches Kandi and MJ have been. I'm sure they both had a come to Jesus moment after Sharon unexpectedly died of a stroke and may feel pretty guilty for the way they treated Sharon and Todd.

I saw where MJ fawned all over Todd's new gig as Executive Producer of some show he's involved with now and she went on about how proud she is of him and to tune in. I'm sure Todd's wise to her and doesn't trust her for one second.

Kandi looks like she's slimmed down and hints about how she wants a baby...I'll bet she's trying a lot harder to keep Todd's affection since this episode was filmed.

[Bossa Nova]

At first I admired Kandi for her daring and creativity in "A Mother's Love".

 

But the more I see of disgusting 'mama' Joyce on my TV screen and Kandi with her denial and dysfunction with her mother, .....I am turned off by the mere mention of the title, "A Mother's Love." What a joke. Kandi should have titled it : "A Mother's Narcissistic Pathological Control". 

[Lakewood27]

Seriously? She can't hire responsible, reputable people to handle distribution of her DVDs and her play? How the hell does she make any money? Whoever is handling Bedroom Kandi must be doing something right, yes? I get the impression she has no clue how to run an "empire". She is good with her music and that one sideline, the bedroom toys. But once she started to branch out, the tree started dropping leaves.

I am not surprised at all that the DVD distribution is effed up. The Kandi Factory is being managed by her childhood friends with no legitimate business experience. If their behaviour on camera is any indication of how they conduct themselves in real life, I'm not surprised at the floppage of A Mother's Love.

 

I believe Bedroom Kandi is partnered with OhMiBod, so that's probably why this piece of Kandi's empire looks and operates on a more professional level.