Say What?: "Nationwide Is On My Slide?" & Other Things We Thought We Heard

[Sandman87]

I really ought to stop turning down the TV volume when I do my internet surfing. They just played a brand new Charter singing-and-dancing-bullshit commercial a couple of minutes ago, and I could have sworn that one of the lines was "It's getting dark, but my boner's lighting up!" It made me wonder if they had E.T. working there. He has the light-up finger, so maybe other things light up too. Unfortunately, It turns put that he's singing "my phone is lighting up."
 

[Lola16]

There's a cheesetastic show called Married at First Sight which has an annoying theme song.  Which I thought was "I'm all above it!" but it seems it's "It's all or nothing!".  Either works.

[Luckylyn]

There's a commercial Kaley Cuoco does to protest Canadian seal hunts and the first time I heard it I thought she said "Comedian" seal hunts. 

[DittyDotDot]

5 hours ago, Luckylyn said:

There's a commercial Kaley Cuoco does to protest Canadian seal hunts and the first time I heard it I thought she said "Comedian" seal hunts. 

Now I really want to see a show called "Comedian Seal Hunts." I bet seals really are funny! ;)

[Sandman87]

I was reminded today that our local newscasters have an odd tendency to pronounce the name of the nearby town of Fortuna with the emphasis on the first syllable, which makes it sound like two words: "Today four tuna police officers..." Made me think of the old Fish Police comic books.

 

On Saturday, August 06, 2016 at 5:06 PM, DittyDotDot said:

Now I really want to see a show called "Comedian Seal Hunts." I bet seals really are funny! ;)

And I suppose that the show would involve a comedy club?

[Sandman87]

There's a locally produced ad running for Tough Shed. The announcer says "Tough Shed" about 15 times during the commercial, and every single time he says it, it sounds like "Tough Shit."

[AntiBeeSpray]

I thought I heard the announcer for a 'Ship Sticks' commercial say 'Shit Sticks'. That's what I get for trying to listen to tv while listening to music at the same time XD.

[MissAlmond]

Not hearing, but seeing.  For the past two days, NPR's home page has run a headline about a former Rep named Chaka Fattah but my mind keeps reading Chaka Khan. 

[Sandman87]

"At Chili's we say forget the fruitcake; give the gift of penis!" Hot damn, I'm going to Chili's! Wait...they said "fajitas?" Never mind...

[Raja]

A product placement on a episode of Mighty Ships. On a cruise line the staff has to deal with a high roller who left his stash of cigarettes on his private yacht and the officer starts name dropping the name of the brand in an attempt to find a source for a replacement shipment fit for him

[tribeca]

The first time I heard The View theme song I thought it said look at those crazy Jews.   I wonder who wrote such awful lyrics. 

[Sandman87]

15 hours ago, Raja said:

A product placement on a episode of Mighty Ships. On a cruise line the staff has to deal with a high roller who left his stash of cigarettes on his private yacht and the officer starts name dropping the name of the brand in an attempt to find a source for a replacement shipment fit for him

Was there more to this?

[Raja]

1 minute ago, Sandman87 said:

Was there more to this?

Just the name dropping of the special brand fit for a billionaire. 

[Sandman87]

3 hours ago, Raja said:

Just the name dropping of the special brand fit for a billionaire. 

Still not getting it. How did it fit this discussion?

[riley702]

On 6/25/2016 at 10:18 PM, Sandman87 said:

I really ought to stop turning down the TV volume when I do my internet surfing. They just played a brand new Charter singing-and-dancing-bullshit commercial a couple of minutes ago, and I could have sworn that one of the lines was "It's getting dark, but my boner's lighting up!" It made me wonder if they had E.T. working there. He has the light-up finger, so maybe other things light up too. Unfortunately, It turns put that he's singing "my phone is lighting up."
 

Just found this topic, and of course, thought of this:

[Sandman87]

I don't even have to click the link to know that it's the video for "Danger! High Voltage" right there.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

On 7/4/2017 at 11:15 PM, riley702 said:

Just found this topic, and of course, thought of this:

That'll wake you right up.

[The Wild Sow]

On Charlie Rose tonight, they're discussing Charles Blow's July 3 NY Times column about Trump:

"Rather than rising to the honor of the office, Trump has lowered the office with his whiny, fragile, vindictive  penis."

Oh.....upon rewind, I see it's actually "vindictive pettiness"!  I will refrain from editorial comment.

Edited July 13, 2017 by The Wild Sow

[kiddo82]

American Ninja Warrior from a few weeks ago:  So they have a new obstacle called the "giant cubes" and I could've sworn every time a contestant got there Matt said "giant pubes." I swear, it was like some producer purposely sat there and thought about how to torture the announcer by coming up with an obstacle name that rhymed with something nasty.

American Ninja Warrior from this past week:. "Blah blah blah shitty finals course."  What!?  Oh!  CITY finals course.

Edited August 24, 2017 by kiddo82

[Sandman87]

There's a commercial for Dish Network with a bunch of guys playing poker. I hear one of them exclaim "I love Nazi football!" Turns out that he loves announcing football.

[shapeshifter]

I was sure (and taken aback when) I just thought I heard the NPR Congressional Correspondent say, "You're not going to get that wall, Honey," but it must have been, "not going to get that wall funding."

[Tunia]

Whenever I hear the Golden Girls theme song - Thank You For Being a Friend - I hear it as:
"And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see, the biggest gift would be from me
And the heart attack  (card attached) would say
Thank you for being a friend"
 

[AntiBeeSpray]

Just saw one that I thought said 'we run millions of lines of coke'... but when I went back I saw that they said something like 'we run millions of lines of code'.

It was for CA Security and the former would just have them all arrested XD.

[PradaKitty]

Okay, I’m sitting here watching the Olympics and I see the a commercial telling me to try the psychotic Big Mac!  All I can think of is that they are made with bovines suffering from Mad Cow disease...

two seconds later it occurs to me - ICONIC Big Mac!  Duh.....

[MsJamieDornan]

On ‎3‎/‎15‎/‎2015 at 11:15 PM, Lola16 said:

One of my favorite things is watching TV with the closed captions.  During Celebrity Apprentice, they typed Herald Dough instead of Geraldo

I have laughed for over 20 minutes about this !!

[MisterBluxom]

I'm thinking of this conversation. I'm almost certain it's from some TV show although it may be from some movie.

The conversation is between a man who is a criminal (maybe even a member of Organized Crime) and a lady who may be his wife or gf. They are discussing someone who was arrested by the police. At one point the lady seems to get exasperated and she says something like the following:

"Oh sure!  You guys always figure that someone must have turned you in. (or maybe she said they, "dropped a dime on you").  You always say that "someone must have called the police and told on you." You never admit that maybe the police are smart. It's never that they know how to do their jobs and catch criminals. You guys always figure that someone must have reported you to the police. You never give them any credit for being smart enough to catch you."

I know that I've heard this conversation several times before and it keeps playing over and over in my head. But I can't remember from which TV show or movie it comes from. Can anyone here help me with this?

It may be from Goodfellas or a similar kind of movie or TV show.

Edited February 17, 2018 by MissBluxom

[BW Manilowe]

On 6/27/2017 at 7:19 PM, tribeca said:

The first time I heard The View theme song I thought it said look at those crazy Jews.   I wonder who wrote such awful lyrics. 

It's called World's Gone Crazy by Mary J. Blige. Even after looking at the lyrics on the linked page, I'm still not sure how it goes.

[shapeshifter]

A commercial for Oasis Financial was on in the other room. I'm pretty sure I heard,"They killed a man to help me out."

[ABay]

Damn, that is some commitment to customer service!

[shapeshifter]

I had on in the background the very charming, new children's animated Molly of Denali, episode "Herring Eggs or Bust."

She needed to have at least 4 reasons to go to Sitka to make it worth the plane trip. 

One was "hearing aids" for a senior citizen, another was "herring eggs."

My hearing isn't great, there is no closed captioning, and I wasn't paying attention, so I thought both Molly and the elder woman needed hearing aids until finally at the end I caught Molly making a joke about how similar the two phrases sounded. 

[Bastet]

I have the PBS cooking shows on all afternoon on Saturdays, mostly as background noise.  As I was walking through the room as Martha Stewart listed what she'd be baking this episode, I heard her conclude with "and peach butthole".  Well, that can't be right.  Ah, peach buckle.

[jennblevins]

On 2/8/2020 at 4:01 PM, Bastet said:

I have the PBS cooking shows on all afternoon on Saturdays, mostly as background noise.  As I was walking through the room as Martha Stewart listed what she'd be baking this episode, I heard her conclude with "and peach butthole".  Well, that can't be right.  Ah, peach buckle.

Speaking of PBS cooking shows, I’ve been listening to one in the background while troubleshooting some glitches in the accounting system at work, a process that requires a fair amount of concentration. But not so much that I didn’t look up in shock when the host said she was adding some plastic scallions to her chicken broth. 
 

I replayed it twice, and my best guess is that she said classic scallions, but I still don’t hear it. 

[shapeshifter]

7 minutes ago, jennblevins said:

Speaking of PBS cooking shows, I’ve been listening to one in the background while troubleshooting some glitches in the accounting system at work, a process that requires a fair amount of concentration. But not so much that I didn’t look up in shock when the host said she was adding some plastic scallions to her chicken broth. 
 

I replayed it twice, and my best guess is that she said classic scallions, but I still don’t hear it. 

Maybe Vlasic (pickled) scallions? 

[jennblevins]

3 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Maybe Vlasic (pickled) scallions? 

After posting, I was baffled enough that I looked up the recipe while the accounting audit was running. I still don’t know what the host said, but according to the recipe, the scallions are neither artificial nor pickled.

[Bastet]

24 minutes ago, jennblevins said:

I replayed it twice, and my best guess is that she said classic scallions, but I still don’t hear it. 

You got me curious, so I just looked it up, and it sounded like "plastic" to me, too.  So I turned on the CC:  She says "six scallions", but there's an "uh" right before the "six". 

Once I read that (well, actually being the notorious YouTube CC, it reads six "gallons" instead of scallions), I could hear "uh, six scallions" plain as day.  But until then, yep, I heard "plastic scallions".

[jennblevins]

3 minutes ago, Bastet said:

You got me curious, so I just looked it up, and it sounded like "plastic" to me, too.  So I turned on the CC:  She says "six scallions", but there's an "uh" right before the "six". 

Once I read that (well, actually being the notorious YouTube CC, it reads six "gallons" instead of scallions), I could hear "uh, six scallions" plain as day.  But until then, yep, I heard "plastic scallions".

That actually makes a lot more sense (unless scallions are a classic ingredient in chicken broth, which is possible, as I’ve never made any).  Although I think I can hear several of my relatives screaming from all over town at the idea of a recipe containing six gallons of scallions or, for that matter, any sort of allium. 

[KWalkerInc]

MLB Extra Innings is showing the 2018 NL Wild Card Game, and I guess Alex Rodriguez was talking about a pitcher throwing in the lower part of the strike zone and how it would cause the batter to go into "golf mode."  But at first I heard it as "goth mode" and I was very confused.

[KWalkerInc]

According to a commercial I saw a couple times yesterday, Macy's is apparently having a sale on "kitchen crap."  I still haven't figured out what they're actually saying, but "kitchen crap" reminds me of the way a friend of mine describes what they sold at a long-since-closed store her mom used to drag her into at the mall.

[shapeshifter]

I just heard an NPR reporter say that there was danger to the "aquifire" instead of to the "aquifer."

[catlover79]

You all know that annoying car ad that has that woman singing, "go boy go". I've always heard it as "go Floyd go". 😝🤣😂

[meep.meep]

Joanna Gaines trying to lure us into paying for Discovery +, it sounds like she's talking about the "nine million network" when it's really the "Magnolia network"

Enunciation is important.

[KWalkerInc]

There was a commercial this afternoon where a little boy (animated) said, "I wonder where Froot Loops come from."  But I had my back to the TV and wasn't paying attention, so I thought he said, "I wonder when 'Footloose' is on."  I was very confused about why someone who sounded so young would be watching that movie, and what they were advertising.  It did remind me though of when a class in 4th grade picked Footloose when we were being rewarded with a movie, but the teacher didn't bother to screen it first and then turned it off after 5 minutes because she found it offensive.

[shapeshifter]

They seem to have stopped showing that commercial that begins with a voice supposedly yelling: "What the Buck!?" but I have listened carefully and there is no f'in' way that's what he was saying. 😉
For once I'm glad the language police got something censored. I have become a snowflake when it comes to being yelled at, regardless of language or sentiment. (So. No. Not watching sports this weekend either.)
 

Meanwhile, not something I "heard," but something I "read"--
Article in today's NY Times is titled "Your Strangest Pet Names, from ‘Soup’ to ‘Sweet Muffin Breath’" (.nytimes.com/2023/02/11/style/pet-names-nicknames-relationships.html).
I started skimming the article (as in, I skipped over explanatory words) to see what people had named their cats, dogs, parrots, etc., and got this far through before I realized they did not mean those kind of pets:

Quote

Soup

I call my husband “Soup.” The nickname goes back to the first time we ever talked on the phone. In an attempt to fill an awkward silence and keep me on the line, Dan blurted out, “I like soup — all kinds of soup, really.” The absurdity and sweet earnestness of that confession made me laugh out loud, and won me over. “Soup” and I have been married for 15 years. — Daisy Howarth

F.K.A.

For seven years, my ex and I called each other “babe.” When we split, that term of endearment wasn’t appropriate anymore, but using our first names felt too cold and distant. So, we settled on “F.K.A.,” an acronym for “formerly known as.” We’ve stayed on friendly terms and have used F.K.A. for three years. One of us will text, “Hey F.K.A., how’s your new job?” or on a phone call we’ll say, “It was great catching up, F.K.A. Send your family my best.” For us, “F.K.A.” is a way to pay tribute to the experience of seven shared years, while also honoring the boundaries of a relationship that changed shape. — Camille Farey

Sign Up for Love Letter  Your weekly dose of real stories that examine the highs, lows and woes of relationships. This newsletter will include the best of Modern Love, weddings and love in the news. Get it sent to your inbox.

Termite

My mother told me (when I was 43) that my father dubbed pretoddling me “Termite” because I liked to gnaw my crib rails. When I cleared out their house in 2017, I ran my grown fingers over those tiny teeth marks in the windowsill and whispered “Goodbye” and “I love you” to Mom and Dad. — Coleen P. Kenny

Burlfriend

My partner, Erin, and I are both nonbinary. The terms “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” never fit our relationship. While visiting California’s redwood forests, Erin came up with “burlfriend,” a goofy combination of boyfriend and girlfriend. Plus, burls on trees form under stress (pandemic relationship, anyone?) but can sprout new growth, forming spectacular wood patterns that go against the grain. — Mya Dosch

Rhome

My husband started calling me “Rhome” right before we got engaged in May 2020, but I didn’t know why. For months, I thought he was calling me “Rome.” It was only when he set up our Wi-Fi password in our new apartment that I saw how it was spelled. When I asked him about it, he said it was short for “Rosie is my home.” — Rosie Ankhartz

 

Edited February 12, 2023 by shapeshifter

[shapeshifter]

I was sure an email subject from a news feed said "Santa approves hundreds of military promotions…" not "Senate approves."
🎅🏻🎅🏾🎄

[KWalkerInc]

I know that the voiceover in the Kohl's commercial is referring to "fleece" (it's even pictured on the screen), but I still hear "Get all your winter favorites, like fleas!"