AGT The Champions: All Episode Discussion

helenamonster · January 12, 2020

5 hours ago, Commando Cody said:

I do not have any recollection at all of the subway singer. None. It was like he was never there and they are just telling us he was there that year. The song was lame.

On a side note, do they have no rights to Nick Cannon's voice or image? The announcer in a flashback was a woman.

Assuming you're still talking about Mike Yung, he was on a season that Tyra Banks hosted.

Commando Cody · January 12, 2020

3 hours ago, helenamonster said:

Assuming you're still talking about Mike Yung, he was on a season that Tyra Banks hosted.

I totally forgot she was on this show.

saber5055 · January 13, 2020

Heh, I guess some people watched this after all. I came here after the show aired, and *crickets*

I hate that Simon is still on this show, Such a self-absorbed jerk. Someone put glue on his X buzzer and paint some expression, any expression, on his immobile face.

This was The Heidi Show, she was the judge leading all the commentary, and I was okay with that. I still don't know who the new Judge Of Color is, not that I particularly care.

I might have enjoyed Han's act if 90 percent of his time wasn't spent showing the judges and audience instead of Han.

When the blond boy singer came on, I immediately googled "Lips." Glad I don't have to see him again.

I liked the Golden Buzzer singer girl.

I liked the trapeze duo. No need to do a routine, just stand around and you get my vote.

I liked the magician. Maybe she was my Golden Buzzer.

I thought the kid shadow group was fine. The comedian is doing better off this show than on.

I liked the weight-lifter singer guy okay, but what was up with Howie being all fakety fake scared of him. Did he get a threatening email or stalker DM from the guy or something?

Say what you will, this show is still better than the ABC show on at the same time on Monday nights.

Swenson · January 14, 2020

Wow ....was this episode zzzzz inducing or what?

Didn't we have to hear Christina Ramos earn a golden buzzer just last year for that same overused song?

There was plenty of social media backlash against Howie for choosing Hans over the shadow dancers and it wouldn't have mattered to me....I guess Howie, in his decade of judging has just seen a lot of those kinds of acts and it gets to be like "yeesh..... ANOTHER one"...... I'll just say this....it's a true story they tell and it is tragic and unfortunate....but wouldn't it be better to tell it on 60 minutes? When I watch this show....call it escapism if u want.....but I need relief from the world for a couple of hours. Even if Hans can't sing OR dance!

On the subject of the overuse of runs on every note.....I blame Mariah Carey for she really did a lot to popularize that .... Or do we blame Simon?.....all those years as a judge telling people to do just that....millions of aspiring young girls practicing it so we have to hear yet anuuuuther ear raking rendition of "And I am telling u I'm not going".....or "Bohemian Rhapsody".....and it gets praised evvvrrreee time. So they'll keep doing it because they think we love it.

Overall....it was tough to find four acts out of this to advance. But they did.....and we move on. More crying to come.

ams1001 · January 14, 2020

Why is this guy's wife speaking for him? She's not part of the act, he speaks English...can't she support him from backstage?
Okay, just once I want them to give the golden buzzer to the first act.
These "exactly one minute" commercial breaks are getting annoying. I need to get a snack, dammit!
Third place AGT mentalist. I do not remember this guy in the slightest.
Storm Troopers...I muted the commercial and didn't realize the show was back because all I saw was Storm Troopers.
Okay, I'm pretty impressed that they can do all those moves in plastic armor. Would have been nice to see more of it and less of the audience/judge reactions. Not GB-worthy, though.
Yes, the gaping-mouth reactions of the other acts backstage looked totally real.
So does Howie get to take Simon's golden buzzer when it's his turn?
Crossbow Redemption!!!
"This act you're doing tonight, is this something that we've seen before?" Yeah, the producers didn't tell her to say that, did they?
I'm gonna assume he didn't get shot in the heart. I hate these acts.
I totally missed what happened except apparently he got four Xs? But I saw him talking to Terry so I guess I was right that he didn't get shot in the heart. So yay for me.
Sorry Collabro. Bored.
I like Ryan but Howie's preemptive guffaws before he got to the (predictable) punchline were way over the top.
Puddles Doggie Party.
Masked magician? What? (Totally wasn't paying attention to the intro.) The female computer voice with the deep voice repeating random words was annoying. Trick was pretty cool in the end.
Lucas still looks like young Manny from Modern Family.
Audience screams like they do for every halfway decent act. "Wow, you have so many fans!"
Another danger act. No, thanks.

Commando Cody · January 14, 2020

Lucas, who totally looks like Manny from 'Modern Family', did not sound good tonight. I tried, but I couldn't make it through his entire act.

I didn't watch the final danger act. It's not my thing.

Whoever the mentalist guy was, he wasn't very interesting.

They should have stopped the arrow dude's act sooner. It just wasn't working. I wasn't even sure what the angle was or why it mattered when the judge pulled the lever.

I liked the final magic act, but I didn't like the guy's voice.

I didn't want any of the last three standing acts to go through. I sat there thinking about which one would annoy me less if they went through. It was a toss up. In the end, any of them going through wasn't going to be any better than another. At least Ryan's act is only 90 seconds.

I think Howie said "This would be my golden buzzer" for two acts. One got through anyway, so it would have been wasted. The other act I have already forgotten.

The first singer, who did the duet with himself, was much better than the woman from last year, who didn't pull it off.

I don't remember which act just dragged. I think it was the third place mentalist. I have absolutely no recollection of him at all. It was like he didn't exist and they brought him in and told us he was a third place finalist. He must have been really forgettable.

DaphneCat · January 14, 2020

Like others, I hate the danger acts. I really don't want to see someone get maimed or killed. I don't get Puddles. I mean, he isn't bad but he isn't that great of a singer. Is it just that he's wearing sad clown make-up? I hate clowns so if I think he has any talent it is in spite of his schtick, not because of it. I thought the guy who sang with himself actually had a really good voice - at least he wasn't the typical singer. When they pulled the first three contestants up, there was absolutely no question on who was going through - two acts who were dissed in the comments and one who wasn't - what a way to build suspense. Again, a night of intense meh.

bluepiano · January 14, 2020

Oz's trick was amazing and I totally can't see how it was done. He got jobbed because the other magician pulled in Shin Lim and anything to with Shin Lim is going to be a winner on AGT. I didn't think the trick was impressive at all, and I hated the stupid mask and robotic voice.

Are these really the best acts they could come up with? The first two shows have been boring and I don't have any hope things will improve.

Too many of the acts that were on AGT are way too recent. I don't need to hear Ryan talking about his hands again. I got enough of that last time. It feels like it was just a few months ago. He's always been a darling of Simon and Howie and the producers. Seems like a nice guy, but "comedy" on AGT pretty much means someone talking about their disability. Or if you're a woman, how unattractive you are.

Agree with guy who said he doesn't get Puddles. Sings sad songs in clown make-up. It's a gimmick that gets old. Speaking of gimmicks, the same hip hop dances moves we've seen a hundred times become GB worthy because people are wearing Star Wars suits? Huh?

To repeat myself, people should not be allowed to use Shin Lim in their act on any version of AGT. That should be a rule.

Edited January 14, 2020 by bluepiano

InternetToughGuy · January 14, 2020

After tonight's episode, I can say for certain that I much prefer the regular America's Got Talent season, since this one showcases international acts coming to the US, which makes me write angry letters to my congressman bitching about lax policies regarding open borders - actually I don't think Canada has congressmen; we don't have anything. I actually wasn't that bothered by tonight's episode, which I guess is some of the highest praise you can sing about the show that has me skipping my sobriety chips like stones across the lake. I thought of a sickening amount of material for this post while watching, though the problem with that is I'll forget almost everything by the time the next act comes on - this mind formatting is a great coping mechanism to have especially considering how fat and/or annoying many acts are.

Marcelito Pomoy - For a guy with his last name backwards being "Yo, mop", you'd think a former AGT winner (failure) enlightened him on how janitorial work isn't that bad. The graphic behind him was an array of downward arrows, indicating the average viewer's attention span, which served as my cue to tune him out. As mentioned in many previous angry rambles, any opera song just sounds like post-wisdom tooth extraction grunting, so there's no way I could've interpreted which of the two opera songs this was, not to mention it seems opera shows are only held in a Forte-sized bathroom stall or a Roman coliseum, I wouldn't be able to say with confidence if Andrea Bocelli is alive or from 500 years ago. I can't really comment on the performance other than the numerous switching in and out of falsetto sounding like my gender fluidity acting up at the doctor's office. I don't see how this guy could have any market appeal in the U.S. except for cities with a high Asian population (and once again narrow that to the minute portion that like opera). There's a (American) KPop singer I like who came back to the U.S. from Korea to try and get popular but 90% of her fans are Asian-American or people who already knew her from before, so it seems like a huge waste of time and effort, though it'd be 100 times more futile for someone like this guy.

Oz Pearlman - At least his first name is different in "lieu" of unfortunately sharing the first and last name with a sick bastard, this man's act can touch the youth without mass outrage (I hope someone understood). Mentalist acts have always annoyed me, because their routines take up the most time and at least one person has to be in on it, such as the audience plant who always looks like a plant. Never mind Terry walking on stage with the gigantic 1980s cell phone pressed to his ear for instruction - that completely suspended disbelief. Since the audience acts ridiculous all the time, I would have to wonder how many people actually believe he has powers, but since he is always surprised at being eliminated, that should disprove the theory. When these acts are either "you did thing you said" or the probably never before seen "you fucked up", it's just 5-10 minutes of going through tedious steps to get to the outcome you already knew was coming.

Boogie Storm - If their name is supposed to imply I'm yawning so much I need to blow my nose every few seconds, I guess they got that part right. This felt like an introduction act with how little grandiose it gave off, since it's AGT, you expected them to have been there to hype the crowd for the limbless cyberbullied singer. This act made me want to type many things that would get me banned from the forum, which in case that ever happens, look for whichever forum post has the most adjectives describing the aging of a woman over 30. At least their costumes reminded me to spend $200 on a lightsaber I will immediately put in the closet from the Star Wars Galaxy's Edge Disney Park. I've never even seen any Star Wars movies, because them speaking of space and the moon as if they were tangible was too far out there for me to grasp back then and still is. Simon reaches over and presses Howie's buzzer, which woke me up from a pleasant dream that the show was cancelled. I loathe how they do this stupid shit, since you'd figure the decision would just get thrown out like a Jackie Fabulous event ticket, but sometimes they don't count it and sometimes they do for no reason. What is it with women being hypnotized into gyration by music? Even if I were in the audience, I would be motionless and offering an embarrassed Christopher Reeve grin.

Ben Blaque - This act was so annoying and for once it was entirely due to the table of four Muppets that I hate. When I saw Heidi pull out her "hand made binoculars" I started pouring shots of liquid drain cleaner for me to chug (I took Poison Control out of My Fave 5). It's odd how they suddenly have compassion for him despite cheering on acts that inflict mass torment upon the viewer, not to mention this act actually looked entertaining. Alesha can't pull the levers, which I at least can relate to having the muscle tone of melted Smores, but it looked like she was being stupid on purpose - it's better to fling insults before learning of the actual facts.

Collabro - Since they're from Britain's Got Talent, I don't know if the appeal of seeing clips of men and women who look 30 years older than they are sing songs you've never heard of on Facebook is still popular today, but having been bullied off of the site years ago, I had never heard of these guys. In terms of longevity, I don't know if these guys want to still have a juvenile sounding name when they're 40, provided they're even still around then (I will answer that question for you....NO). The segment before the performance said they dreamed of making it in America and their supposed answer to that is to sing a song by someone already famous that was written by a team of writers/producers nobody knows the names of. I have no idea how that could possibly draw anybody in, but I'm going to go ahead and assume it didn't.

Ryan Niemiller - Finally a former contestant I'm not "up in arms" about. Obligatory unfunny remark about his deformity aside, now we can listen to an entire routine about them....again. I think his material is hit or miss, especially since it is all about the one topic. He had a couple of funny lines, but I thought the good/bad ratio wasn't that high, which was disappointing. He's definitely the most likeable contestant on this season so far, especially when merely remembering someone's name 10 minutes after their performance is a high compliment. Hopefully he stays popular, but never gains an audience in Asia to avoid ever feeling self conscious when landing at Seoul's Gimpo airport.

Puddles Pity Party - "Puddles" is a fitting name, since I have to wear a diaper during his performances due to how pissed I get. I remember seeing the events page for him a few months ago and feeling actual pity for him, since I would never have believed he'd ever have enough demand to warrant a tour, I just said to myself in a pitiable tone "Hey, Puddles is coming to town!" - I don't think I'd be able to explain the emotion I'm talking about, because I'm sure nobody would get it. Bleeding heart aside, he remains one of the most boring acts of all time. Before his act started, a young girl yelled "We love you, Puddles!" which had to have been a plant, because I can't imagine any child wanting to go to his show unless to hear what their Grandpa's sleep inducing radio sounds like in person. I at least have to applaud his commitment to keeping youthful skin care if he's willing to put on that much sunscreen just to deflect the spotlights.

Marc Spelmann - With how dyslexic his last name is, I weep for the British school system. With how little I pay attention, he could've taken his mask off and put it back on 5 seconds later and I'd have been duped. It was a decent act, but a lot of the focus is because of the far more entertaining magician returning - don't be surprised if the following performances of his include featuring Shin for more and more time until Marc is quietly phased out. Not really much else to say about it.

Luke Islam - I expected him to completely fail after the show, but looking at how plump he is, you could never accuse him of being a starving artist. I don't mean to imply I insult kids online, since most of them are taller than me and could do me serious harm, but fat acts really annoy me because not only is image important in terms of having a marketable career, but also with the visual evidence of poor health and often the labored breathing from just introducing themselves being heard on the microphone, it's hard to just be "you do you". Anyways, he did a song by Saline Dion (as in I cried from boredom) - not that I would know when that song is, but having heard little of her material, just basing my opinion on how each album cover of hers' requires more and more airbrushing and Photoshop, I am a fan of old Celine. Performance was boring, since despite looking as threatening as an earwig, I am too macho for theater/musicals. I'm sure he'll eventually get on Broadway, but not for a few years, since the only 12 year olds who have careers are in Bangladesh manufacturing XXXL underpants for morbidly obese Americans (no hate, just facts).

Spencer Horsman - The old proverb "You can lead a Horsman to water" being hidden was nice easter egg for anyone else who looks for things that aren't there. Danger acts never get much respect on this show, which is ridiculous when comparing the success between what is essentially a live suicide attempt compared to singers whose Mothers left them 30+ years ago. Nobody was more stressed than his wife who looked old enough to be his Mother. Yikes. I'd still let her wipe her muddy boots on the back of my new dress shirt, but still. Sitting nearly motionless in a pool for 2 minutes is pretty much equivalent to the typical American's workout regiment, so this should've resonated with audiences. It was pretty entertaining even if these acts never go wrong.

Boogie Storm, Marcelito Pomoy, Marc Spellman/X, and Ryan Niemiller advance which is a mix of "yay" (in a very sedated voice) and yawning like a Mother grizzly bear. Overall the show was pretty boring. Terry is so damn useless, I wish I could march right up to him and be eye level with his navel to tell him off. At least if he knocked me out, that would mean missing out on the rest of the season. But for real, there's closed captioning, described video, and Terry's newly invented "instant replay for the brain damaged and/or retarded" since his contributions are limited to one syllable noises or repeating the second half of a sentence that someone else just said. I almost give more credence to YouTubers who make fake dental "open wide!" face reactions to clips. I know a ton of what I thought of while watching didn't make it into this post, which serves as a reminder as to how incredible it is how much one can elaborate on the question "What do you mean the show was bad?".

Edited January 14, 2020 by InternetToughGuy

Neet · January 14, 2020

I forgot the show was on until an hour prior and felt my dopamine go on vacation. Mercy, this show stinks.

Marcelito Pomoy - An excellent performance. The dual voices reminded me of the dichotomy between how I act on the internet and when confronted in person, as well as my instantly shattered confidence when trying to present myself as a woman in public. I'm surprised the Philippines has talent that doesn't involve violent crimes, so I'm skeptical about how stiff the competition was back in the day. Regardless, this was a genuine surprise compared to the usual singing bodybuilders and such.

Oz Pearlman - How insane was it for the guy with a 6 figure job to walk away from it all, presumably with a large amount of money saved and knowing he could get hired at another firm? Hopefully it wasn't omitted that this "mentalist" somehow couldn't predict price direction and sunk his clients' accounts. Surely if he was such a great mentalist, he'd know he wasn't going to make it through tonight and him staying home would've consequently been a stunning, avant garde performance. (though a paradoxical no-win, since his vision would be wrong if they put him through for it) I was staring at the background screen during his performance trying to see if the stock ticker symbols were of the judges' names, and thankfully they were not. God, that would have been so embarrassing. Anyway, the dramatic reveal of "haha I pick what u think" is grating as usual, since you can gather that he got it (AKA successfully executing the pre-rehearsed setup among all parties) right by the first digit and everyone's still holding their breath. This was kind of a slog to get through for that reason, these acts take too long. Also, Heidi naming what's on the calculator didn't help me pay attention because my usual reaction to 50 year old women reciting what sounds like a phone number induces lethargy.

Boogie Storm - With the way they went straight into performing without a video package preceding, I assumed they'd be an act that gets montaged and quickly buzzed. I don't see what's so special about the routine apart from the Star Wars costumes, it's like a 500 pound dork's interpretation of ballet. The standout moment was Simon hitting the golden buzzer, despite it supposedly being Howie's button for the night. Everyone involved was being an idiot, with Simon vetoing the rules of his own show and Boogie Storm immediately jumping up and down with glee, just assuming it's valid. Howie seems to have no backbone at all and instantly rolls with the decision, though he wouldn't want to touch the buzzer after Simon did anyway, unless Spencer Horsman had another giant container filled with Lysol to dump over it.

Ben Blaque - Like a 90 year old man edging, this act was an endless buildup with no payoff. Simon must think flying contestants out, only to have them not do anything builds up an aura of "anything can happen on America's Got Talent!" but it just throws out good will for the future. Next time poor Ben says he's "really gonna do the trick", it will have the effect of a depressed guy claiming to be pushed to the edge for the 50th time. Why was Alesha afraid to pull the levers? I thought women hated anyone who looks better in makeup than they do. Simon's botox-induced dementia made him push her X on her behalf and because we're all stupid and/or want this shit to be over quickly, it's somehow valid.

Collabro - Their name really sucks, but I thought the performance was quite good. Admittedly, I'm heavily influenced by the kind of song someone covers as opposed to holding my useless ear to the TV to try and hear certain vocal techniques. Hopefully singing a song from "A Star Is Born" wasn't a playful jab at Landau Eugene Murphy Jr.'s irrelevance, though that implies they know who he is.

Ryan Niemiller - I really like Ryan, but Christ almighty, his routines only have a few jokes in them. If he's getting publicity/paid for being on the show and it was previously his job, there's no excuse for such a quick set without shoehorning more punchlines into it. Also, he's back to the tried and true material about his arms. Can someone strap him down to a gurney and force prosthetics onto his nubs so he'll have to come up with new material about his daily life? I thought his performance was alright, but it's wearing thin.

Puddles Pity Party - He's always given me second hand embarrassment with this gimmick because it ends the second he begins to sing. There's nothing he can do with his clown character while performing, yet we're supposed to act like this is something more than a guy singing. The second X chromosome I wish I had wants to critique his application of face paint, but seriously, there's nothing very memorable about his look on top of the lack of fleshing out the character. And it's boring as hell, even adjusted for how boring most of every episode is. Surely a more vicious tongue-lashing would feed into the sad clown visage he wants to portray, so I'd at least feel like I'm doing it out of love until realizing he's not also comically underweight and could wipe the floor with me.

Marc Spelmann / X - Despite the likely collusion between everyone involved, the performance was pretty enjoyable. The reveal of Shin at the end made it seem like Marc received little applause and the audience acted like he had little involvement in the routine, though obviously not true. A double whammy when they were both in profile view and Shin's attractive face contrasted with Marc's...not good face. A rare time where a 5'5 Asian guy looks like a bully.

Luke Islam - Wow, this kid can really belt. And by that, I refer to his ever-increasing waistline. When he said he gets stopped in the streets and recognized at Forever 21 (at least he's self-aware), you have to wonder if it was initially to chastise his parents for their neglect. Assuming this nosy third party isn't also 400 pounds....so never mind. While I find Broadway a bit dull, he's actually a very competent singer. Perhaps it's just a bit too early to bring some of these recent acts back, since they're not going to show off much more than they just did on the regular AGT season.

Spencer Horsman - Okay, so now Simon is totally cool with someone performing a dangerous act after the first attempt failed? Sorry to sound like an old crow gossiping at the hair salon, but was it just the lighting or did his wife look young from the back and then menopausal upon turning around? With her red hair, he probably enjoys being underwater to pretend she's Ariel before coming back to reality. These danger acts do the intended suspense a hell of a lot better than the magic acts, obviously since there's really potential for something to go wrong, but it was one of the best of the night. He did an accurate job of demonstrating how traumatic 5 year old kids think taking a bath is. Wouldn't you think he had an easy chance of making it through?

The deciding vote for tonight's last two acts comes down to AGT 'superfans'. I wonder what the criteria for being a superfan entails, though with how lame this show is, the weighted average of enjoyment across the country probably leaves the 50 viewers as anyone who can get through an episode without bitching. This is what real voting power feels like, what with Americans' electoral process always being entirely fabricated and each candidate being a hologram anyway. The doctor I apparently never saw (???) says my delusions are getting worse. Mostly predictable results all around, at least upon seeing who was in each row of three. I don't really care enough to hold a grudge until the next day of a show, but Boogie Storm getting the golden buzzer still feels hella wasteful.

Overall, this episode served to delay the aging process, if not solely because it felt like a 12 hour show. Terry fulfills his contractual duty of saying 2 words every few minutes, usually repeating a blurb of what someone else just said. His main role seems to be to emulate the point of babies playing peekaboo, so you eventually learn that he is indeed still there when you can't see him. Unfortunately.

Edited January 14, 2020 by Neet

ams1001 · January 14, 2020

10 hours ago, InternetToughGuy said:

I thought of a sickening amount of material for this post while watching, though the problem with that is I'll forget almost everything by the time the next act comes on

lol...if I write a bullet-pointed list (as above), you know I was writing it as I watched. If I write a short post referencing a couple memorable moments or just some snarky general observation, I wrote it after the fact and have forgotten 90% of what happened. Last night I missed a lot of intro stuff because I was watching TwoSet Violin videos on youtube during commercials and didn't notice the commercial had ended. Then there were the two danger acts which I tend to look away from all together.

foxfreakinmulder · January 15, 2020

The only acts I liked were the magic act and the mentalist.

The storm troopers dance act wasn't long enough or that great for Simon to take the golden buzzer away from Howie and give it to them. I couldn't stop staring at the cup they were wearing because it was flapping in the wind when they were dancing it became so distracting I don't think I looked at anything else, lol.

Howie would've gave Ryan the golden buzzer because he's a comedian.

Puddles knew if he put pictures of dogs up while he sang (especially Simons dogs) he would be safe from the red buzzers. And it worked.

I hate danger acts.

Lady Iris · January 15, 2020

How many times have we heard Simon say that this act and that act are cruise entertainment level? How is that dance group not categorized the same? I thought they were fun to watch and I liked their music choices but Golden Buzzworthy? Methinks not!

helenamonster · January 16, 2020

I had to laugh at the show opening with the "Blue Monday" cover from the Wonder Woman 1984 trailer, as if anything happening here is even a fraction as exciting as what's going to happen in that movie.

Congratulations to Boogie Storm for getting this far in their career without being sued out the butt by Disney/Lucasfilm for copyright infringement. (And count me in as another person who found their flapping cups distracting.)

Always good to see my TV boyfriend Shin Lim!

On 1/13/2020 at 10:11 PM, ams1001 said:

I totally missed what happened except apparently he got four Xs? But I saw him talking to Terry so I guess I was right that he didn't get shot in the heart. So yay for me.

They gave him four X's to force the act to stop as they had a feeling it wasn't going to end well. If an act gets four X's at any stage of the competition, it has to stop immediately.

giaNtsandYankees · January 16, 2020

17 hours ago, helenamonster said:

Congratulations to Boogie Storm for getting this far in their career without being sued out the butt by Disney/Lucasfilm for copyright infringement. (And count me in as another person who found their flapping cups distracting.)

I'm glad that I'm not the only one that felt that way...

Swenson · January 16, 2020

Does you think Simon is so ego driven that he would steal another golden buzzer from Howie? We have two of Simon's favorite acts coming up including his gb choice from last summer. Perhaps if they make him judge with his hands tied to his chair.

foxfreakinmulder · January 19, 2020

On ‎1‎/‎15‎/‎2020 at 4:36 PM, helenamonster said:

Congratulations to Boogie Storm for getting this far in their career without being sued out the butt by Disney/Lucasfilm for copyright infringement.

I was thinking the same thing. If they weren't on Disney/Lucasfilm's radar before I bet they are now.

saber5055 · January 20, 2020

I finally got to see all the acts for this week. I liked the Filipino singer who sang the two voices. Agree with him going through.

I like Oz as a person, and his act was good except I’ve seen it too many times on this show already. No, I have no clue how he (or the others) do it. It was a good diversion for a few minutes. Good luck in your future endeavors, Oz. You do have style.

The storm-trooper dance group ... my vote for the worst act of the night. Simon must have gotten some payola to put them through, or is being blackmailed or something. There were basically no dance moves, just a bunch of jumping around and some tumbling. And lots of flapping cod pieces that were there ... why? I got a vibe that half of the dancers were women. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Being a Golden Buzzer, and a stolen one at that, sucked majorly.

Ben Blaque the arrow guy has the most beautiful eyes. I’d watch his act just to see his eyes. Maybe skip the act, let me just look at him.

I thought the four guy singers from Britain were good, but it boggles me when judges say they didn’t like the song when the show tells singers what song to sing. What’s up with that. I kept staring at their 60s Beatles skinny pants, wondering if those dreadful trow are really coming back. I guess so, so we can progress into bell bottoms. The plaid suit, where does one buy a plaid suit? Still, I’d vote to keep them around for another song.

Ryan the comedian. Let me go down in history as the only person who doesn’t like him, doesn’t think anything he says is funny, and never wants to see him again. I guess I will though. *sigh* The comedian last week was better, and they canned him.

I didn’t like Puddles when he was on his original season. He hasn’t gotten better. Bye.

I was okay with the magician who came back as X for another shot at BGT. That was pretty smart. I was okay with his act, then ... SHIN LIM! OMG, he’s gotten even more pretty. Let’s just have Shin and his hair stand on stage for the rest of the show. Please.

I still like the singing Broadway kid who looks like Modern Family’s Manny.

The guy in the water-filled glass case ... eh. Waste of time for me.

And that’s all I’ve got until next show.

UncleChuck · January 20, 2020

Quote

Does you think Simon is so ego driven that he would steal another golden buzzer from Howie? We have two of Simon's favorite acts coming up including his gb choice from last summer. Perhaps if they make him judge with his hands tied to his chair.

"They" are not going to make Simon do anything. Simon created the show and all of the other nations' Got Talents. He owns AGT and is executive producer of it, so he does what he wants when he wants to do it.

saber5055 · January 20, 2020

11 hours ago, UncleChuck said:

Simon created the show and all of the other nations' Got Talents. He owns AGT and is executive producer of it, so he does what he wants when he wants to do it.

Which makes this show all the more stupid, or viewers more stupid, that Simon pretends to not know every single winner from around the world AND which ones have been invited to this tournament. He also knows who is going to win, what songs singers are going to perform and which acts he is going to buzz X for drama. He also gets shown the most of all of the judges for some reason (!), with his dead fish eyes and non-expression. And shirts that don't button.

Ellee · January 20, 2020

Exactly. Simon makes you want to switch the channels ...

Edited January 20, 2020 by Ellee

ams1001 · January 21, 2020

Whoo, doggies! Normally I hate when they do the slo-mo thing but slo-mo flying doggies is fun.
Tyler Butler-Figueroa. Reminder: he had cancer.
I've been watching a lot of TwoSet Violin on youtube lately and they have a few on AGT and its brethren. I have a lower opinion of these violin acts now. (Not that he's not still a million times better than I would be.)
Then he had to go and play Old Town Road. Next!
Magician Ben Hart. He's cute. I like his accent. That's a lotta rice. Now I want Chinese food.
"I don't want to rub more salt in the wound so, uh.... thank you for coming."
Hey, is this Champions? They've only said it three times in the last 76 seconds. I'm not sure.
Marionettes.
Okay, I didn't love it but I don't think it deserved to get buzzed.
Why is it taking 40 years for Moses to get started?
It'd be real nice if the people watching at home could see what was happening on the stage...
V. Unbeatable. Who got beaten last year. (I snark, but I do enjoy watching them.)
Oh, just hit the damn buzzer and shut up, Howie.
Michael Grimm...hey, I remember him.
Duo Destiny. Oh my god no one cares if they're gonna get married. Let them do their act.
Stripping.
Quick Style: Okay, I'll admit it. I did not expect them to say "we're from Norway."
Maybe don't set the judges up to be critical before you even start?
Mute creepy German guy. Shut up Heidi. I'd buzz him just to make her stop screaming.
Uhhh.....I got distracted. Some people moved on. Some people went home. The end.

Lonesome Rhodes · January 21, 2020

Sunny days...Sweeping the...Clouds away... Oh. Wait. Toots Thielemans is long gone. So, too, my truly caring about this franchise. At least harmonica guy got me to recall that true genius, Toots. Can you tell me how to get...

The dog segment was super cute. Such unbridled joy and the love behind it are so needed. Despite the fact the edit was as generous as the expert AGT folks could manage, it's difficult to justify the act on a performance basis. But, man, that energy was wonderful.

I give the magician megapoints for attempting the profundity he was trying to impart. This show ain't about truth. It doesn't ask you to think, it tells you what to think. On this occasion, it shouted. I actually do wonder if Simon was so gobsmacked he forgot to buzz him.

Traumamagic? Or is it just Tragic? Creepy knife dude did display serious humor with his response to Simon's divorce question! Then got promptly separated from the show.

This ep really had the feel of a first round in Hollyweird. Some real duds, reflecting some pretty bad choices by Ameriker. It also had at least one mystifying advancer, in this case one-note dancing violin child. Maybe next time he will be asked if his act is worth one MILLLLLION dollars?!

ams1001 · January 21, 2020

6 minutes ago, Lonesome Rhodes said:

Maybe next time he will be asked if his act is worth one MILLLLLION dollars?!

a million dollars GIF

DaphneCat · January 21, 2020

So now they're just bringing random people on and telling us they're champions from some other franchise, right? I don't even remember half the acts so I guess it doesn't really matter, but tonight my FF button got used a lot more than normal.

Neet · January 21, 2020

Alexa Lauenburger - She says she's a "huge fan" of Heidi Klum. It's rather odd to be a fan of someone with no talent (no offence to Vicki Barbolak) aside from being attractive, meaning my fandom would have hinged on an expiry date pre-millenium. I don't understand why the crowd always goes off the wall for dog acts, especially since their own pets are probably shitting on the carpet while they're at the venue. The tricks mostly comprised of jumping through hoops, which wasn't especially impressive except for how many dogs were doing it. As someone who's not allowed to own pets, I was confused as to how she trained any of the dogs when no part of the routine involved screaming at them and withholding food. (joke) Overall, I didn't care for the act and its long-term appeal seems to be on a timer, whether that being Alexa's precociousness running out or the dogs passing away.

Tyler Butler-Figueroa - Thanks to whichever crew member decided to manufacture a 3:1 scale model of the world's smallest violin so the viewing audience could at least see what he's playing. If his violin was gutted in the middle because he had to sell it for medical treatment, that would end the season early with the pity votes crowning him an intergalactic champion. Since Champions was filmed right after the previous AGT season, it's kind of funny that he was asked how his health is when such a quick relapse would obviously keep him quarantined. Who wants to bet that a producer told Tyler's mother to namedrop the Golden Buzzer as a life changing event, even though it merely advanced him to a round in the show he would have placed in regardless. I thought it was a rather inoffensive performance, not great or really memorable in any way.

Ben Hart - His backstory about this trick made little sense, though he should have expected such a reaction when Americans refuse to pay attention to narratives that aren't sponsored by Nestle's chocolate division. As usual, Simon commandeered the editing to make this guy look like a total idiot when they were probably choreographing the trick together moments prior. The judges say "this is Champions, you've got to step it up", which is the usual selective bias not applied to people like Ryan Niemiller who can skate by with three jokes in total that solely revolve about how embarrassed he would be to arm wrestle a dolphin or whatever the hell.

Freckled Sky - Seeing the puppet strings confused me into thinking AGT was preempted for election coverage, although the group's name "Freckled Sky" implying the solar system exists prompted a chuckle. These dance routines peppered with a corny "oooo life is fragile" message are beyond embarrassing, not that I even know what the intended message was because I was tuned out.

Moses - His nonchalance while performing sounded like a homeless panhandler who could take or leave his next meal, such low energy. That giant platform he was standing on would be a great aid to present myself as average height in public, but alas, my calf-smashing surgery in Thailand is already booked. Those women leaning into frame were pointless and would speak to how destroyed people's attention span is, if it weren't understandable that this guy wasn't doing enough to keep anyone engaged. I was in disbelief when he said he played hundreds of shows, but perhaps beatboxing while lording over an Arby's grill for 8 hours a day counts as a booked gig.

V. Unbeatable - A shining example of why using a preemptive declaration of prowess as your stage name can backfire, since they were indeed beatable. Their video package had the usual tone of "we proudly represent our homeland.....please don't send us back, we're begging you!" Most of the moves from tonight's routine looked like a celebratory victory dance they had prepared for months ago before it was thwarted. In summary, it was alright but pretty repetitive. Their costumes made them look like Indian Ghostbusters, which would be a big step for diversity if I didn't sense that the ghosts in this reboot wouldn't get any trans representation. Ummmmmmm, hello?????

Michael Grimm - I didn't watch his season of AGT (ah, carefree days), so hearing his voice was a pleasant surprise. One of the rare timers a singer getting through would have been wholeheartedly enjoyable, meaning of course he wasn't going to advance. Laine Hardy is probably pissed that somebody took the "my career stalled because I didn't know how to deal with fame" excuse before he did. There's really nothing serious to say about acts I like and he was my favorite of the night. I noticed how the last line of the song was "I would rather go blind!" which sounded like an appropriate segue into introducing the next sob story contestant.

Duo Destiny - The braggadocio of that unattainable physique really pissed me off - and the man's body was pretty muscular too. It feels like each act on every iteration of AGT has to fulfill a certain niche that's been covered before, and this gymnastics thing reeked of familiarity. Despite taking a lot of strength, it's still redundant to see again and frankly a bit insulting to see anyone that doesn't also succumb to non-locomotion and diabetes like me. What looked like kids practicing WWE moves on each other before a fatality was done with a lot of finesse, though I'll always be bored with it, regardless.

Quick Style - Why are they called Quick Style if they outright said their routine was going to be slowed down? The show is called Champions and is filled with boring shit, so perhaps every viewer is used to false advertising by now. Although many of the moves looked like the men were trying to hold in pee while waiting for the new iPhone to release, I still enjoyed it. Anyone else notice how they made eye contact with the camera while dancing to a song by Bill Withers? A subtle nod to the dollar's diminishing buying power. The acoustics in my fallout shelter made the song even more fitting. Anyways, the judges came off as a bit hard to please tonight after complaining about so many acts, what with the setlist that Simon organized step by step not being up to snuff. (even though many were indeed bad)

Miki Dark - Ben Blaque was forbidden to get arrows shot at himself last week and yet Heidi can get a knife thrown near her head? (her ex-husband looked cool with a scarred face, I guess) I assume the part of Simon's brain that deals in consistency has been flooded with Juviderm. The crowd's reaction to Miki has me abandoning plans of trick or treating at age 45, as he looked as embarrassing as that girl Riana from a while ago who did next to nothing but pretend to curse people and was somehow praised. I thought he'd be as useless, but his trick was really surprising/unexpected, which is one of the only moments of the night that elicited a semblance of my pulse.

Tyler making it through despite being in remission sounds like two circumstances that can't simultaneously exist, although he made it quite far last time and tonight was such a black hole of entertainment, it's not all that surprising. Duo Destiny was a fairly easy lock, and hearing Alexa go through over Michael Grimm was auditory Alpo to me, albeit predictable. Not a fan of dog acts at all, but I instinctively wanted someone to give me a belly rub for surviving this shitty episode. This had to have been the worst one so far.

Edited January 21, 2020 by Neet
grammattical error

Swenson · January 21, 2020

Well I guess not too many people in these parts watch Poland's Got Talent or other world franchises so of course we don't know the acts.

U people on this board should've been happy because there was only one singer on......Micheal Grimm....and he didn't get through.....I thought he delivered, but Simon pooped on him just enough to veer the superfan vote off of him. Then I knew he wouldn't get over the cutesy pie dog act

I've seen Ben Hart on bgt and he can be great.....wth? It looked as though he forgot to read the instructions on the Marshall Brodien TV magic set like the one I used to have as a kid......so THAT'S how you make one bowl into two!!......but we're not supposed to see there's two bowls.

I've got to admit I'm not a v unbeatable fan....so I won't be thrilled if they win....but it would be predictable. I know they do dangerous stunts but visually the act always looks the same.....and of course we had to be reminded of their story ....they can't let the performance do the talking. But they better hope there's no DYC in the final if they hope to win.

Just too many recents.....if they're gonna keep doing this as an annual series ...let's not have a ton of acts we just saw last summer. Make them wait out a year so we can actually be pleased to see them when they do appear again.

InternetToughGuy · January 21, 2020

Forte this, Landau Eugene Murphy that - I've got my post formula down to a science. Unfortunately mentioning old "who?"'s doesn't work when an array of forgettable names were shucking and jiving across the stage tonight. I spent the whole show writing down things I thought of, albeit in broken English, not for the sake of saving time, but the amount of multiculturalism and boring acts was making me forget my mother tongue (we only kissed one time). Terry acting like the inflatable suit of muscles he puts on 5 minutes before coming on stage gives him an aura of masculine domineer makes me audibly bust a gut. It seems I usually have a big introduction of complaining before talking about the shitty acts, as if to draw parallels to squeezing out one big log and many tiny pieces, but I don't think I have much else to say, other than this show definitely was not a no-wiper. I always try in vain to format my posts more like an actual analysis with jokes sprinkled in or at least use some analysis to bridge the jokes together, but it rarely works out, so I won't bother, since it's obvious why I write these.

Alexa Lauenburger - Thank God Michael Vick wasn't a guest judge tonight. When her act was introduced, it made me realize we have different definitions of what a "dog" act consists of, since mine is whistling at women on the street from my construction site, high up enough for them to not realize I'm 5'1. I don't get the appeal of these acts at all, since they're all pretty much the same. When she said she was 11, that somehow incited the crowd to cheer, as if revolving around the sun (Earth/sun are fake, but play along) a number of times is worth applause - I guess still being here after the thousands of self pitying/passive aggressive Facebook statuses I've made suggesting that life sucks and I want to reincarnate as a baby makes it somewhat commendable. If anyone uses Pinterest or Tumblr, you can take a picture of one of the dogs and use "Get a boy who will jump through hoops for you <3" as a caption and I won't charge any royalties. When Heidi started yodelling, I saw the remote was on the other couch, so I couldn't mute the TV in time, so I just started punching myself in the head as hard as I could, which really made me regret those years of boxing lessons. How does this (insert forum friendly curse) have any fans? This girl's name is the perfect encapsulation of the American psyche of willingly letting a surveillance device inside their home, as well as the obesity epidemic stemming from feeling perpetually low-in-burger. That took a lot of time to phrase right - was it worth the trouble? Probably not.

Tyler Butler-Figueroa - It wasn't too long ago I was analyzing his name for hidden puns last season, but those were just jokes, since he's a pretty harmless act. Unfortunately that also reflects in the entertainment value, since he just sounds like the slightly faster live music at a fancy restaurant, which I guess means some viewers may don a black top hat and monocle while their flabby claw swirls around the M&M's bucket. I copy/paste the performer names from MJ's Big Blog, a faceless website owner whose misspelled/incorrect posts reek of senility. Anyways, she said he did Old Town Road, which is wrong; he did The Git Up by Blanco Brown. It wasn't anything that great, especially having opened his performance by talking about his cancer from years ago, which may be in remission, but the family bank account is probably on life support. Not that that's something to laugh at, since the lack of universal health care is probably due to the financial pot being drained by what is likely 30+ million Americans who get a fat check every month for pretending to have a hurt back. It's my experience that weaving a tale of chronic migraines is what gets the Canadian doctors' attention (this is obviously a joke). This act wasn't anything special, especially when it is inherently so "meh" that it requires a team of background dancers to provide you with enough stimulation. I did shed a tear through my proud grin, knowing he had reached his final adult height of sub-5 feet, though this was merely to comfort my insecurities.

Ben Hart - I don't really know what to say about this, other than he defies the norm of Brits looking twice as old as they actually are, since when on vacation in London, I was regularly giving up my seat on the bus for what turned out to be a 20 year old girl. This act was boring as hell, which the lack of tension inducing music/sound effects they put in the background, you could tell that this was going to stink. With the appearance of water and rice with a glowing image of the "moon" in the background, the introduction of healthy eating and the make believe into the collective consciousness was just too much to handle at once.

Freckled Sky - I do have to give it to them for coming up with a name that sounds like a very poetic way of confirming the existence of chemtrails, which makes it hard to run outside just to escape this performance. How in sync their movements were in the beginning was "nice", though my facial expression was as sardonic as usual, but it became boring quickly. I'm glad the girl in the performance agreed to be covered in Glad Cling Wrap to avoid having the touch of a man other than me on her. I'm choosing to view the end shot on the screen of the controlling puppeteer to be paying homage to what I'd be like as a husband. Maybe if my Mother hides my medication in rolls of ham, I won't need to be committed.

Moses Concas - I thought this for every non-AGT contestant/winner, but in the video package, it's always hilarious whenever it shows an international talent show and a judge is "offering their wisdom" when you have zero idea who they are. Moses said he cried a lot when he won because he's Italian - I'm going to need an Ancestry test to see if there's any nationality I can blame for me crying over getting clothes for Christmas (so embarrassing - I am old enough to run for President 😫). The act was so boring, I don't know how he could've won Italy's Got Talent, unless he just happened to be the only non-opera act they had that year. I was unaware the harmonica could make noises other than that one little riff that embodies being a 70 year old black man on the porch in the South.

V. Unbeatable - I believe this was the only act that elicited any positive emotion, no matter how minute, especially since AGT as a whole is so unpleasurable, the TV remote's off button is like the dopamine switch in the lab rat experiment. Somehow the excitement of the act was still there, despite their moniker of being unbeatable was disproven last year, unless they're referring to their extremely unfair 30 on 1 street fighting tactics. The act was pretty entertaining, which are words rarely spoken about this show. With how crowded the Mumbai Metro is, you'd think they had to learn vaulting over large groups of people out of necessity of getting to work on time. They got the golden buzzer, which was deserved for once. It seems they have a good chance at winning this Flat Earth Cup.

Michael Grimm - His name teeters between knowing and not knowing him, since he won the year before I started watching this filth - I was so radiant back then. I wouldn't have guessed he had any success, since the majority of the acts since him have the confetti rain down on them at the finale and then Kenichi Ebina will hand them a broom to help clean it up. The show was boring, but it was still going pretty good due to having no singers until him. I was watching the show with my euthanasia doctor on the phone and when we saw this performance would be boring singing and an acoustic guitar, he gratefully changed my application from denied to approved. I'm getting emotional here. I thought the performance was just plain uninteresting, I don't know why random people in the audience were shown to be emotionally moved or something. Not knowing how music works whatsoever, I was waiting for him to randomly break out into a 200+ BPM solo for no reason, but it never came.

Duo Destiny - It's great how they showcase the dynamics of how a healthy relationship should be, in that they can blame and resent the other, should they fail to advance. They competed on Poland's Got Talent, the grand prize I'm guessing is citizenship elsewhere. The first thing I thought of when this act was introduced was without hiding behind any of my clever verbiage, that dude is out of shape. PERIOD. Then again, perhaps it's my problem that any doctor or fitness trainer even suggesting to me that an adult man should weigh more than his 6 year old brother has me violently swatting the air around their face. Never mind me being stupid at all hours of the day, I've already whined countless times about how boring these acts are, since they all appear to be the same and all the acts look the same, which may be because all of them seem to be from Poland, Ukraine, or Russia - I'd love to see an argument between those 3 natives about whose country has the worst weather, since the sky is greyer than a dog's vision 10 months a year. The crowd seemed to really love this act, since people who are somehow capable of expressing emotions other than apathy and whatever witness accounts describe what the alcohol does to me. The most used word by the judges to describe what this performance was was "sexy", which was lost on me, since the modern adolescence of growing up on easily accessible adult video makes me believe that loving sex is when two strangers are strangling each other. All I can say is thank God my religious Grandmother isn't around to see the present day definition of talent being how wide a woman can spread her legs while swinging from the ceiling so everyone can get a good look.

Quick Style - It's so rare to hear of an act actually having success outside the show, especially when success *on* the show had nothing to do with how loudly the audience clapped over you being disabled. They won Norway's Got Talent in 2009, for which they were congratulated for, which would be odd to most people to be praised for a 10 year old achievement, but having not done anything in that long myself, I muted the long list of accomplishments they mentioned and pretended they admitted to still living in their childhood bedrooms. I HATE ME! Anyways, this dance was really boring and the only thing I thought of was the song repeatedly saying "Ain't no sunshine" made me think they were from the U.K.

Miki Dark - By this point I was fed up with the show and just wanted it to be over, much like how I feel right now when I've been typing for almost 2 hours straight. These shitty acts which are either danger or just drawn out nothings always get a pass for taking 5+ minutes to just get to the point, which is annoying. Due to the eerie music, I assumed Heidi was going to be showing her makeup-free face first thing in the morning, which would've been truly sick, since even with the pound of makeup on, just the outlines of the sag that is there is enough to completely halt one's appetite. Having been completely silent, I still have to commend him for speaking more than I did on my first date.

As for the results, when I saw that United States map with every state marked red, I got flashbacks of the election and screamed "TRUMPPPPPP!!!" before angrily putting my foot through the TV in what seemed like super slow motion. Duo Destiny, Tyler, and Alexa go through, to which I don't have any opinion at all about, because I just wanted to shut the show off, even though having to write these posts (by my own self insistence) means having to think about the show for almost twice as long as I sat watching it. Final thoughts: Terry sucks.

Edited January 21, 2020 by InternetToughGuy

Mr. Sparkle · January 21, 2020

IMO, one of the worst episodes of any *GT that I've seen. So boring. This year's champion series is way worse than last year's.

Dog Act - whatever. It's been done.

Tyler - I'm sincerely sorry he has cancer and wish him a long healthy life. I hope to never see him on my tv again, but it looks like I'm out of luck.

Ben Hart - seriously? I was waiting for the trick. He was like a magician at a kid's party.

Freckled Sky - boring.

Moses - WTF? Not even sure what that was.

V. Unbeatable - damn it, I like these kids. They're good at what they do, and seem really happy to be there.

Michael Grimm - decent voice, but it's been done.

Duo Destiny - good looking couple toss each other around. Seen it a hundred times.

Quick Style - a likable trio. If they have upbeat, more acrobatic numbers, they should have done them. Bad choice.

Miki Dark - my favorite act of the night. I like this kind of act, and he did a good job. So of course they pick the sob story over him.

ams1001 · January 21, 2020

5 hours ago, InternetToughGuy said:

who get a fat check every month for pretending to have a hurt back.

I have a hurt back. Where's my check? (Do I get more for my also-hurting shoulder?)

saber5055 · January 21, 2020

I watched the first hour, then the last hour during commercials on Prodigal Son, and I still saw all the acts. Go figure.

I liked the dog act, they were funny and I expect a lot of that got edited since the dogs were pretty hyper and full of energy. Yeah, it's not that hard to teach a dog to jump through a hoop or over someone's back, I've done it and it took like two minutes with my dogs. But I've never seen dogs stand on their hind legs, make an arch, and the other dogs jump over it. So, props for that.

I didn't care for Violin Cancer Boy the first time so was meh about seeing him again. He could win this if his cancer comes back and one or two legs get amputated so he's playing from a wheelchair. *lightning strikes me*

The magician with the rice bowls ... I don't like to hate on people or acts, but you really need more than showing one freaking grain of rice turn into two freaking grains of (invisible) rice to get my applause. Where were the close-up Shin Lim cameras?

I thought Freckled Sky was fine, and no more "I don't understand it" than any other of the multiple acts of that sort. WTH Simon. You didn't understand it because your ID, at least as demonstrated by your slack-jawed, gaping mouth and dead eyes, isn't all that high.

Don't invite these people if you are going to red X them, you dumbasses. It's not dramatic, it just make this show look (more) stupid. And scripted.

The Italian harmonica guy I liked. I liked that he said he's Italian so he cries. I also liked his playing and would have listened to more if only the show had given him more than 20 seconds for his set. WTH was that about, show.

I still like V. Unbeatable and finally, an act worthy of Golden Buzzer. I'd like to see them in a battle with Simon's Golden Buzzer cod-piece-flapping jump-around Star Wars guys. Winner take all. Losing Golden Buzzer judge gets kicked off the panel. Voting by the real America, not these fakety fake made-up "American Fans."

I like Michael Grimm okay, although I turned back to Prodigal Son so missed most of his song.

Duo Destiny gets the award as the act that made Simon smile, which he did when the man caught the woman on his shoulder and her crotch was in his face.

Quick Style, the three dancers, I see as perfect for World of Dance, not for this show that is more about stupid than talent. I liked them and hope to see them later on WOD where they will do well.

I only saw part of the Miki Dark act, but there was too much of Heidi yelling and what not for me to want to see the entire thing. It took someone a long time to put all those "torn" pieces into the same "kissed" envelope to fill up that basket. That's all I'm sayin'.

Commando Cody · January 21, 2020

8 hours ago, Superclam said:

Tyler - I'm sincerely sorry he has cancer and wish him a long healthy life. I hope to never see him on my tv again, but it looks like I'm out of luck.

I feel the same way. I'm sure he's a nice kid. However, he looked really smug during the elimination. He didn't look nervous. He had this look on his face like "I got this". Obviously we all knew he wasn't going to be eliminated. I have never been a fan. I would also like to see him go.

Commando Cody · January 21, 2020

I was happy to see V.Unbeatable get the golden buzzer. I think they got screwed in the final of their year.

Edited January 21, 2020 by Commando Cody

bluepiano · January 22, 2020

Considering Cancer Violin Boy got a standing ovation from the judges just for walking on stage there was zero doubt he'd go through. That's why I cringed when I saw him. I knew we'd be stuck with him for awhile. Same with Ryan Neimeir. Two judges' pets who I found entertaining..

And they're back so soon. There should at least be a rule about having to wait three years before being on Champions. Otherwise I just feel like I'm watching reruns. Especially in the case of these two because their acts are literally exactly the same at every performance.

At least the international acts I don't know, but they've been almost uniformly unimpressive. That Italian guy won? Really? Hard to believe. And I like harmonica playing. Toots Thielemans he wasn't.

What a dog this season has been. Except for the dog act. They at least gave me a smile.

Edited January 22, 2020 by bluepiano

ams1001 · January 22, 2020

18 hours ago, saber5055 said:

Duo Destiny gets the award as the act that made Simon smile, which he did when the man caught the woman on his shoulder and her crotch was in his face.

I noticed that, too. Ew.

Lady Iris · January 22, 2020

Man alive, the rice water bowl magician was PAINFUL. I kept waiting for something to happen and yeah, we got a large rice bowl. We've seen some fun magic stuffs on this show but that was the most underwhelming thing I've seen in years of watching this show.

lynxfx · January 22, 2020

2 hours ago, Lady Iris said:

Man alive, the rice water bowl magician was PAINFUL. I kept waiting for something to happen and yeah, we got a large rice bowl. We've seen some fun magic stuffs on this show but that was the most underwhelming thing I've seen in years of watching this show.

I can usually defend most magicians on this show but man that was in wtf territory. Starting with the giant net hammock that made no sense in the end. At first I thought he was going to keep producing more and more items that would start piling up on the net to really make you go "where the hell did that all come from?" Nope, just some rice that falls through it and then water that also falls through. It didn't even make sense to be the river he was talking about. His trick (if you can call it that) was as easy to figure out as last week's magician that used Shin Lim but at least that one had some impact.

I'm pretty sure Simon would buzz most Cirque du Soleil act as he has no patience for story telling and he can't leech money off of them. If I was a betting man I would put money on the fact that he made some backroom deal with Disney to golden buzz that storm trooper dance group.

foxfreakinmulder · January 23, 2020

On ‎1‎/‎19‎/‎2020 at 9:22 PM, UncleChuck said:

They" are not going to make Simon do anything. Simon created the show and all of the other nations' Got Talents. He owns AGT and is executive producer of it, so he does what he wants when he wants to do it.

I was wondering if he created the other Got Talents. I also believe Simon and the other behind the scene producers pick who goes through and who wins. I don't believe they are being voted through. I think people vote but they don't count.

I liked the dog act, usually when you see a dog act with more than 1 dog it's a family doing the act. This little girl was able to control her dogs and she did good. Do I think she can win? No.

I'm glad V-Unbeatable went through they are entertaining to watch and could be a Vegas act.

Duo Destiny are just like the other couple that went through, with the guy that was losing his eyesight but now he's not.

The other acts I don't even care to mention. I agree with a lot of what's already been said about them.

I noticed Terry talked more than usual. I wonder why he never introduces the judges? Tara always did after she made her catwalk entrance.

saber5055 · January 23, 2020

44 minutes ago, foxfreakinmulder said:

I noticed Terry talked more than usual. I wonder why he never introduces the judges?

Thanks for giving me something to watch for next episode since I never noticed. Judges always made some spectacular entrance before, and were introduced. I guess they just show up and sit down now. I'll find out next week!

Commando Cody · January 23, 2020

1 hour ago, foxfreakinmulder said:

I also believe Simon and the other behind the scene producers pick who goes through and who wins. I don't believe they are being voted through. I think people vote but they don't count.

I think the judges are there to manipulate the viewing audience to get them to vote a certain way. I think they have several outcomes in mind. If the producers were in control of the win, I think screaming Britany - or whatever the hell her name was - would have won during her year.

Except for the first year winner. I can't remember her name either. I don't think America likes children singers.

ams1001 · January 23, 2020

1 hour ago, Commando Cody said:

Except for the first year winner. I can't remember her name either. I don't think America likes children singers.

Bianca Ryan

Vermicious Knid · January 23, 2020

Fell asleep 45 minutes in, and apparently deleted the episode while not quite awake. Had to watch on NBC.com because this isn't On Demand, which at least let me jump the slider to the point I remembered. I may have actually fallen asleep in the middle of the magic rice trick because it was...taking...so....long....ZZZZ. Literally.

Kid+sob story always wins. Kids and dogs too. Alexa didn't have any tricks different than other dog acts but they were well trained by someone so young. The other two acts are genuinely talented and I don't mind them.

helenamonster · January 25, 2020

I liked Alexa Lauenburger. The dog acts with multiple dogs like that can sometimes be chaotic, but I thought she had great control over them.

I wanted so much more from Ben Hart. I like when magicians weave stories into their acts, and he had a sense of humor too, which was nice. But the trick went absolutely nowhere.

For something subtitled Champions, this whole exercise is so blah. I get that even the best acts in the world can have an off night or make a bad judgement call (song choice, etc.) but for so many of them to not hit the mark, it's kind of embarrassing. I cringe just imagining who they would scrape together for a third season of this.

On 1/20/2020 at 10:05 PM, ams1001 said:

Then he had to go and play Old Town Road. Next!

Maybe don't set the judges up to be critical before you even start?

It took me wayyyy to long to figure out he was doing "Old Town Road," one of the most inescapable songs of last year. Sweet kid, but god he sucks.

When Quick Style made that caveat before they'd started, I knew it was over. I used to work in entertainment and you always tell people not to make excuses in auditions. No "I'm getting over the flu" or "I just found out about this yesterday" etc. You're setting people up to expect to be disappointed.

ams1001 · January 28, 2020

Why did you let us think even for a second that little Scooby was gone?!?!?! Jerk.
Sorry, I'm a sucker for any act involving a Chihuahua. (Percy's Creepshow, lol). But no licking, please. Ick. And god, that was 5 years ago?!?!
Wow, the judges actually talked about Voices of Service's singing instead of their inspirational military background...well, Howie did, at least.
JJ Pantano...Simon, executive producer, didn't know what his talent was? Sure.
Kid is savage. Annoying, but savage.
Also he looks a bit like my friend's daughter (who is the same age).
Emil was very...shiny.
Silhouettes...dammit, I don't watch this show to cry. (I was so sure the dog was gonna die in the end, so at least they didn't do that to me.) The "dog" was impressive, though. I'm okay with them for the GB.
Brian King Joseph...I want to see TwoSet Violin review his performance...he seems to have a lot of broken hairs on his bow...
Connie, nobody has teeth as nice as Simon's (except maybe Joe Biden).
Sandou Trio Russian Bar...thank you, Howie, for reminding us that this is dangerous.
Ooh, cliffhamger! 🙄
British whiteboy rap. I barely understood a word.
French-speaking contortionist...I couldn't watch all of it because...ow.
I totally expected Ameriker to vote for Military Singing Quartet over Romanian dancer in red patent pleather and African contortionist. I'm impressed with you, Superfans, whoever you are.
Oh, please keep Christian and Percy. I just want to see the doggie again.
BKJ looked totally shocked that Howie didn't pick him.
Okay, well JJ would have been my second choice of the last three.
Meh.

Mr. Sparkle · January 28, 2020

I thought this was the best of the last 4 weeks by far. Even the suckier acts weren't as boring as last week. I'm surprised that the little kid won over the violinist. I can imagine where he's going with his next performance.

I don't like Voices of Service, but I think they're going to be back as a wildcard.

Edited January 28, 2020 by Superclam

DaphneCat · January 28, 2020

Sorry, I'm just a mean old lady but I hated the little kid comic. I don't for an instant believe he wrote those jokes and I really don't like that type of performance. For me, it's on the level of the really young singers singing about their lost loves or heartbreak - nothing rings true.

Couldn't believe the guy who won Romania's Got Talent - apparently Romania has no talent if that was the best they could find.

Russian bar trio is definitely skilled at what they do, but this is an act that has no way to "step it up." All she can really do is jump, twist and land. This reminds me of competitive diving. Yes, they are far more skilled than most people, but the only thing that makes it interesting is the comparison with the other divers. You probably wouldn't go several times to watch someone dive in to a pool over and over - this is kind of the same thing.

BuckeyeLou · January 28, 2020

Well, that was a disappointing ending. I thought for sure that Brian King Joseph, the violinist, would make it through. The kid was cute, but I didn't care for his snarky humor. The young lady, Connie, is a decent singer, thought for sure she would go through. I really liked the Russian Barre trio...very scary(fake out for the commercial). Percy, the Chiahuaha, was fun to watch but I've seen better dog acts. There were some enjoyable acts tonight, but I was disappointed with the choices by the so-called "Superfans".

Lonesome Rhodes · January 28, 2020

J.J. was DY NO MITE!!!

Oh. Different J.J. His material, however sourced, was very good if not single-note. As I type this, I can not recall any comedy person who brought more genuine laughter to AGT, though. He was also the beneficiary of one of the all-time great misdirections in AGT histoire. A worthy advancer, imo.

It was a bit of a stunner that we did not get the AGT-patented criticism of bringing an original song to the stage - most especially for a first effort. I knew then she was toast. she seemed to have a decent voice. Oh well.

The strength/doggie act was performed very well. It should have been grouped with a prior show. If so, it would have made it through.

Better judging through great dentistry! Who knew?

InternetToughGuy · January 28, 2020

I'll condense my "opening monologue" or whatever you want to call this, since I don't want to be sitting here for too long, as what equates to a 2 hour work week is more than man was designed to endure. The show wasn't that bad for once, though my stoic face remained largely unmoved throughout the whole episode. I also didn't take any notes to remember what I thought of, since that just added time to my efforts, but I thought of a lot anyways - my brain should be preserved for future generations, although the part in charge of knowing what filth I engage in on the internet should be amputated.

Christian and Percy - The irony of this boy being named Christian when performing in front of a Godless nation. I'M ENRAGED. Certainly the several thousand year old book in which its alleged events cannot be verified is the perfect manual for judging others who do not behave as I wish. When he walked out, I was pretty sure his act would be centered around visual effects judging by the CGI physique he had overtop of his real body. I don't get the appeal of dog acts, even though this one was fine enough, though I'm going to raise my voice like a hood Mama curbing her boy's sass at how stupid having music on is, since it's not like they're syncing their movements to the beat, so why does a specific song have to be on? I guess even with half the audience dividing their attention between a movie and internet on their phone and looking up to the performance still needs some audio to feel fully functional.

Voices of Service - The fact that they seemed unphased at the LOUD. VERY LOUD applause makes the credibility of their act fall apart, though I never liked them anyways. The whole appeal of this, at least to the people who are swayed is just the utterance of the word "military" is like a command for the body to begin producing tears. For anyone who just has the natural talent to sing, I don't get how it compares to other acts, since it's like you've got your range that isn't going to change in any way, now filter songs you didn't write through it. So boring.

JJ Pantano - Ugh. Aside from commending his ability to indefinitely sustain what sounds like my many voice cracks when in confrontation, this act was so annoying. Any material using "our friends the judges!" is low hanging chocolate (the word "fruit" is almost considered a slur these days). He got a pass for being young, since he had 5 jokes, although Ryan Niemiller is allowed to have just one joke, unless his (what I imagine to be) pungent aroma counts as adding comedic atmosphere. The remark about remembering Heidi as a supermodel didn't connect with me, since I've always considered her to be stinky (a word no real adult uses), so I am quicker to get aroused by mental images of Howie crossdressing than any of Heidi's material. For once I do have to respect Terry, as it was obvious he was about to explode from rage at the joke targeted towards him. Then again, my lack of ability to read social situations is probably why I was taken to prom wheeled around on a dolly with a spit mask. In case Terry reads this: please stop being tall and muscular.

Emil Rengle - Ladies and gentleman. God has left the building (I'm kidding, I don't care), though he must have known some people would contort their faces in discomfort due to his name being Lime backwards. My stupidity aside, this act was just boring, especially when Billie Eilish (who looks like an anemic toad) is the background music. Since he's gay, I do wonder if he was the only person watching who considered his performance a danger act, due to having to provocatively dance with two attractive women.

The Silhouettes - Since I constantly need to invent something to be offended over, if people thought black face was offensive, this full black body act certainly is not (clap) O (clap) K (clap) and I've been on NBC's hotline for 30 minutes waiting to scream at someone who had nothing to do with it. These "life is precious...." acts are so pretentious and annoying, not to mention you really have to wonder how they'd fill an hour long show, unless they just slow down their movements to a more believable American norm. I was almost on board for this act until the lights went off and my creepily enlarged pupils were unable to track that attractive original member.

Brian King Joseph - In size, skin tone, and talent, this guy is literally 4 Tyler Butler Figueroas put together. This act was good, which I didn't think was possible for this show, although that doesn't mean I was so excited I had my mouth open wide like an American inserting a bulk-aisle scoop filled with hypertension medication, since I don't really react emotionally at all, which I think is a real problem in general. Brian is one of the rare musicians who actually looks like he's enjoying performing, which is commendable since being sick and looking suicidal would allow him to double dip in pity votes.

Connie Talbot - Due to her nationality, you might as well consider this her retirement tour, since the British genes will have her looking like a Grandmother in as little as two years. I hope that Nielsen technology is advanced enough to detect which viewers change the channel upon seeing Connie is no longer 7 years old so we can get some sickos off the streets. Anyways, I thought this song was actually pretty enjoyable, which is very rare, though a large part of that is contingent on the song being about me - I'm ready to smash my new laptop in rage at a moment's notice. By the way, Terry looking to the camera and uttering "will she be able to create a new legacy?" with zero emotion made it sound like he was auditioning for a Naruto voiceover.

Sandou Trio Russian Bar - The clip shown before their performance proves that Landau Eugene Murphy is a real person, so when I resume laughing at his career in every subsequent post, you'll know who I'm talking about. Having a minor gymnastics background myself (I do a series of cartwheels and non-hetero baton twirling whenever the AGT season ends), this was somewhat entertaining. I've noticed danger acts where a woman is the star seem to get way more forgiveness, which is annoying, but only since most female danger acts have to do with ribbon hanging from the ceiling or whatever.

Bars & Melody - If I could engage these two in what we in the rap scene call a "battle", I would craft some sick diss lines at how young, good looking and successful they are. Anyways, I thought the song was OK, though I spent a lot of time distracted trying to figure out what song they were sampling and I'm pretty sure it was One Last Time by Ariana Grande, which ironically was probably her last single before she changed her look and it appeared her IQ dropped as low as Pete Davidson's red blood cell count. The performance had so much stuff going on, which I guess created a vibe, but also hell for janitor Kenichi Ebina to clean up - if a song isn't entertaining enough on its own, certainly having a hundred dancers and confetti raining down isn't going to hide that.

Strauss Serpent - Since financial institutions (or finances in general) in Africa are corrupt or nonexistent, I figured the prize of Africa's Got Talent would be an ear of corn and 10 minutes of bodyguard services so he could get it back to the kitchen to eat without being robbed or killed for it. Obligatory stupidity aside, his act was quite entertaining, since it's a very rare time where his silly faces actually added to the act. Assuming his abilities aren't due to having to cut out and eat his own joints to survive, he is quite talented.

Sandou Trio Russian Bar, JJ, and Strauss Serpent advance, so 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Show was OK, which are words I will certainly eat next week. I don't know what I'm going to do until next week, since I thrive on approval from strangers.

Edited January 28, 2020 by InternetToughGuy

Neet · January 28, 2020

Christian & Percy - Starting off a Dunkin Donuts-sponsored show with a man in great shape triggered my vertigo, where was the warning? Anyway, he wasn't that bad and the handstand while dropping down was fantastic but the dog didn't add much, IMO. I'm never instantly swayed by animals being cute and sometimes find it even more egregious in terms of pandering than the subpar kid performers who skate by for no other reason. (though Percy was good, not saying he wasn't) On a side note, the diminutive Percy resembled the size of my German Shepherd when animal control rescued him from the confines of my needle-laden hoarder's apartment....crazy days. (that was a joke, obviously)

Voices of Service - How progressive that their enemies on the battlefield don't see color, as between that and their camo, it's easy to see why they returned home uninjured. I think the group crying on camera would be an efficient way to verify their identity for a blue check mark on social media accounts, it's their trademark gesture by now. What else to say about them aside from the usual "it was a total bore", because it was. Not just out of courtesy for those who afflicted with PTSD, there will be no chance of celebratory fireworks in their future.

JJ Pantano - Why does he get to shit talk people to their faces and I don't? Oh yes; because while I match him in terms of outright absence of masculinity, I lack the cuteness. While the shtick of basing any kind of performance around the judges is always extremely embarrassing, he was actually pretty amusing. Ryan Niemiller must be off somewhere calculating the impossibility of telling an unprecedented fourth and fifth joke in a short window of time, much less restricting themselves from making the set about a singular trait.

Emil Rengle - He's making great strides for social change, though I'm leaning more towards hoping he'll help gain acceptance for those of us under the Herculean dimensions of 5'4 to sport yardstick-sized heels in public. Some of these former winners look like total chumps on Champions, so either Romania voted for him just so he'd become famous enough to leave the country or Simon's telling a lot of these acts to suck on purpose, which doesn't even make sense.

The Silhouettes - I remember what some of the previous members looked like from their season (sounds more pathetic to type than I thought) and upon seeing the coach, I thought that it was a teen member who had aged at the speed of light. She said that the members "are her family". I can only shudder at the emotional turmoil her "kids" put up with over the years to escape, given the group's rapid turnover of members. Her tacking that line on as a legal avenue to claim any impending prize money is also possible. I could suspend disbelief that the dog in their story was made up of dancers and not a real dog, but my anti-psychotic pills ran out and I'm back in my mental prime to deny the moon's existence with gusto. The usual tear-jerking attempt at putting together a message was unsuccessful to me, since it always reads like a bunch of verbatim actions combined with no deeper meaning. While they're admittedly strapped for time, they didn't show the $100,000 in debt the college graduate had, though I assume the scene of people clapping for her were some of her 30 roommates in the one bedroom apartment. Stupidity notwithstanding, it was better than the other groups in this vein and at least the shapes/people that the dancers contorted into looked realistic.

Brian King Joseph - Brian serves as a nice palate cleanser to show what violinists can be, and he's essentially Tyler Butler-Figueroa's superior form with the exception of a backstory that only elicits a few tears and a mild but still respectably ham-sized hole punched in my wall at the unfairness of the world. (I live in a hotel for a few months after American Idol auditions while my house gets repaired) With that said, I think Brian's performances are good but undeniably stuffed with as many additional distractions as possible to make them seem like a spectacle. Dancers, fire, etc. is a bit much for what he's actually doing. By the way, he sticks his tongue out so much he resembles a kid showing their parents the cold medicine is all gone.

Connie Talbot - You'd think that her album sales would have improved over time, since it would progressively be less weird to buy them compared to seeing a man walking out of the store with a 7 year old girl's CD. Forte would probably speak in her defence and claim that streaming is the future of music, but their metrics have tanked across the board in every format. I don't know why anyone was shocked that Connie could still sing, since the risk of a pubescent voice change doesn't really affect girls as much. Her song was decent, though received an instant demerit when I pieced together that it wasn't about me. The lyric about asking the guy in question to love her unconditionally is easy to answer in the affirmative when she looks like that while asking - perhaps a reason to conduct frequent marriage vow renewals like an annual physical just in case minds are changed. Also, before she performed, Terry said "can she create a new legacy?" which was faux-profound and pointless enough to imply that he had to say whatever he could to fulfill his contractual word count for the night.

Sandou Trio Russian Bar - That upside-down piano performance from years ago was pretty bad, but the two guys of the group must have been so paranoid about the crowd reaction tonight that they came out wearing bulletproof vests. It's kind of odd, manoeuvring around a vertical bar in a leotard has negative connotations but turn it horizontally and the act becomes performance art. Really good, though. On the surface, it seems rather lumped in with the boring strongman/wife routines yet is much more entertaining despite its limitations for repeat viewings. I'd proudly say something like "in Russia, Bar Sandou Trios you" if I thought it was witty or made any sense at all.

Bars and Melody - Two years ago, I would have said that the blond one looked like Aaron Carter as a drug addict, but the real one is so fucked up these days, he looks like Aaron Carter sober in comparison. On a weighted average, it was passable, though they probably have that unique appeal towards 14 year girls who claim that their fandom will never end until they promptly dismiss it as a phase while all the posters and apparel are hurled into the garbage next semester.

Strauss Serpent - His contortion is like the willpower everyone on New Years diets exhibits when confronting a birthday cake in the office break room. Who am I kidding, it's January 28th. Not much to say, it was great.

Dramatically giving the results here has the same effect of a network "breaking" a story that's been common knowledge for hours, there's no point. For once, it wasn't a total outrage that any severely unwanted acts made it through, so it's fine with me. Actually, the whole show was pretty decent tonight.

Edited January 28, 2020 by Neet

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