Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

[crazychicken]

And he is back, he deleted his last round of abuse and has now started again.

[ShaNaeNae]

On 1/26/2018 at 4:47 PM, lovesnark said:

I have two theories on why Jenelle is the only model for her overpriced t-shirts.

#1 - She has no money to pay someone to model them. If she was serious about wanting to sell them, she'd do what every clothing retailer does. Hire a tall, thin model to show them to their best advantage.

#2 - She won't let another woman be around UBT and vice versa.

#3 - That would require too much work.

#4 - She thinks she's the hottest thing in North Carolina.  She probably thinks people would buy it more if she's wearing it because duh, we all want to be like Jenelle.  On her lipstick IG page, I left this post because again, she was the only one modeling the colors:

"Why are there selfies of you when you're selling lipstick? If you really felt passionate about makeup and making women feel beautiful, you would have hired women of various skin tones, with various lip shapes and showed close ups of each color so people can tell the color they are buying. Clicking on a color and seeing you lounging by the pool tells me nothing about the lipstick or it's color. It just proves to me that again, it's all about you and you just want to take the money without putting in any actual work and effort into it."

 

On 1/26/2018 at 8:30 PM, GreatKazu said:

Did anyone else notice there is a unicorn as one of the animations that are shown at the beginning of Teen Mom as well as throughout the show? How did I miss this? Is that where Jenelle got the unicorn idea from? 

Right now, unicorn decor is everywhere.  Pinterest is loaded with the decor.  It seems every girl is having a unicorn party.  So she didn't put any thought into it, didn't do anything original, just Pinterested out her kids unicorn party. 

[teapot]

8 minutes ago, ShaNaeNae said:

 

 

Right now, unicorn decor is everywhere.  Pinterest is loaded with the decor.  It seems every girl is having a unicorn party.  So she didn't put any thought into it, didn't do anything original, just Pinterested out her kids unicorn party. 

considering Pinterest is where she got Ensley's *name*, I 'm not surprised!!

[druzy]

[Mkay]

[FairyDusted]

She must be sooooo proud…..someone catch my eyes. They rolled out.

[ShaNaeNae]

Just because it can't be said enough, David Eason is a horrible human being.  Can he not have a normal conversation without reverting to name calling right off the bat.  

I just came here to ask the connection between Morgan Freeman and The Easy-ones, but I just remembered, it's not THAT Morgan Freeman.  

[Mkay]

32 minutes ago, teapot said:

considering Pinterest is where she got Ensley's *name*, I 'm not surprised!!

And David’s tattoos. 

[Mkay]

David is exactly the type of person they tell you to report if you think they are capable of something like what happened in Florida. But reporting it to Morgan J Freeman is falling on deaf ears. 

[CaliforniaLove]

26 minutes ago, Mkay said:

David is exactly the type of person they tell you to report if you think they are capable of something like what happened in Florida. But reporting it to Morgan J Freeman is falling on deaf ears. 

Exactly. In his "position", he (and to be fair, the rest of the TM dimwits) should know better than to angrily engage with every "hatter" he encounters on SM. With that said, I could understand getting frustrated & popping off at someone who is seriously coming at you in a derogatory way. What is frightening about this monster, is that people were merely saying things like "hey man, bad timing? Kids died", and THAT causes "fuck you bitch!! You don't know me!!" (or whatever variation thereof)? Also, I am all for responsible gun ownership, but it's not political to me, it is simply common sense that two people with their backgrounds should not be allowed to be in possession of firearms. 

[Mkay]

4 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Exactly. In his "position", he (and to be fair, the rest of the TM dimwits) should know better than to angrily engage with every "hatter" he encounters on SM. With that said, I could understand getting frustrated & popping off at someone who is seriously coming at you in a derogatory way. What is frightening about this monster, is that people were merely saying things like "hey man, bad timing? Kids died", and THAT causes "fuck you bitch!! You don't know me!!" (or whatever variation thereof)? Also, I am all for responsible gun ownership, but it's not political to me, it is simply common sense that two people with their backgrounds should not be allowed to be in possession of firearms. 

Yes! Exactly. 

Morgan is too busy obsessing over Trump and I’m realizing that Morgan J Freeman is just as psychotic as David and Jenelle. 

[littleB1rdy]

Morgan J Freeman can claim he cares about gun laws all he wants but as long as he is making money off of and paying for the drama of the very people who shouldn’t be able to have a gun in the first place, then he is absolutely useless 

[GreatKazu]

2 hours ago, Chaos Theory said:

Couple things I feel uncomfortable making pointed opinions on theses people because i don’t watch the show and really don’t know all that much about them but I do like to read the board for kicks and giggles so on a couple topics discussed as of late:

1:  Blue Apron:  I looked into for myself and my dad did as well.  And we both decided that it is too expensive for what we needed it for.  It would be more useful for someone either like my aunt who works ungodly hours or ironically like the Easton’s who have a big family and might want to avoid packing up the kids to go on trips to the grocery store.   (This assumes they care about feeding and cooking for their kids)   I am single and live close to a couple grocery stores and in a bind I could always do a one time delivery so not really worth it for me.

2:  Dude I know girls with guns are sexy but so is timing.  Now isn’t the time.  People died in Florida dude.  Also do we really trust them with actual guns in the house.  Murder guns in the house.  

Jenelle needs Blue Apron like Amber needs a Stairmaster. 

Jenelle was being paid for using Blue Apron. It wasn't that she has a need for such a business. BA pulled out from using Jenelle as a spokesperson for their business once they realized who they were dealing with. All BA cared about was reaching out to the Twitter universe and acquire more business. 

That gun photo: One more reason for me to not feel bad for wanting to see Jenelle and UBT six feet under. 

[druzy]

According to Freeman we are fuck-tards.

Edited February 15, 2018 by druzy

[TexasGal]

3 hours ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

Of course any woman who criticizes him is a bitch!  

Looking at picture, its perfect for Jenelle and David's imminent ID Channel special. I can see them using this pic and the voiceover going something like, " Here is a photo of Jenelle holding the rifle that authorities say, would later be used to kill her."

I was going to say, women are either babe or bitch to him.  But I guess we can be dimwits too.  And hoes.  <eyeroll>

[akr]

So, he decided at 5:18 am this morning to double down and make that his profile pic??? 

[Rebecca]

On 2/13/2018 at 7:40 PM, druzy said:

English...do you fucking speak it?

19 hours ago, druzy said:

We have NEVER seen Jace look that happy EVER with Jenelle.

2 hours ago, crazychicken said:

And he is back, he deleted his last round of abuse and has now started again.

Apparently he only understands things that have to do directly with him. Why am I not surprised.

36 minutes ago, druzy said:

According to Freeman we are fuck-tards.

Who can I send a screenshot of that to? Viacom? Someone higher up needs to see it. Totally unnecessary and unacceptable language. I already thought he was a disgusting idiot but wow.

[littleB1rdy]

They can’t just apologize and say they had no idea about the shooting in FL, make a fake post about gun safety and take their photos down for the day. That’s what a normal person would do.

instead they continue to make asses of themselves and argue with everyone who comments.

[CaliforniaLove]

37 minutes ago, druzy said:

According to Freeman we are fuck-tards.

I think what's being bashed here are two people EMPLOYED by said TV show who decided it was a good idea to post a picture posing with an assault rifle all of 5 minutes after 17 people were killed by one. They are showing no remorse, and treating this action as a "nanny nanny boo boo, we can do what we want, no matter how cruel it is, and we will continue to make $$$$ off it". How can someone as "successful" as Morgan J. Freeman be so fucking stupid?

[Rebecca]

The world only needs one Morgan Freeman and Morgan J ain’t it. I want to see this fucker go down more than Jenelle.

[leighroda]

On 2/13/2018 at 10:58 PM, lovesnark said:

I almost fell off my chair because he spelled anaphylaxis. His phone must have done it for him. Living in the swamp, I'd imagine mold is an ongoing problem. Wonder if UBT goes out and fills THE LAND with uppercuts if he finds something moldy laying around?

Sorry about the quote... I can’t make it go away, I think I was going to comment related to the anaphylaxis spelling probably being auto correct and then I realized that’s exactly the point you were making, but I can’t make the quote box go away.

Both David and Jenelle’s reaction to the outrage makes me absolutely sick. I’ll give them that maybe they didn’t know or didn’t connect how inappropriate the picture was initially, but they know now, they have acknowledged that they know and yet are doubling down on posting it.

Up until last year I lived 15-20 minutes from the school where the shooting occurred, when I was in nursing school I had clinicals at the hospital where the majority of victims went, my sister still lives there, she has multiple employees who have children who were there, and one who lost a child... so maybe I’m a little overly sensitive regarding it because I’m familiar with that community.  I just can’t stand the insensitivity and narcissism these 2 exhibit in the daily basis.  Jenelle wants us to fall on ourselves praising how brave Dave was for having cancer and calls us insensitive and tells us we don’t understand when the situation involves her, but can’t have even a fraction of empathy/sympathy to not post one picture depicting the same model gun used, hours after the event happened!? 

Hope she feels good posting with a gun that more than likely will eventually be used against herself or a loved one someday.

[guilfoyleatpp]

On 2/13/2018 at 10:29 PM, hoosiermom said:

I think I might try Blue Apron now that they fired the Easons!

Same!

20 hours ago, Bridget said:

Lastly, to @guilfoyleatpp and my penicillin and sulfa allergy friends (and to everyone else, just in case you ever find yourself in the position to say "Hey, did you know...?"), please take this last nugget with you too. I had to find out the hard way and once again, I'd rather watch a 24 hour loop from The Land along with DebEMBA's wedding vows to her groom, who had no right to violate the ancient tradition of sporting a kilt! I'm revoking whatever claim he has to being Scottish. :)

I was on vacation during a long weekend and had scraped my knees prior to the flight. I threw some Neosporin on the scrapes, covered them with Band-Aids...and spent the entire trip trying not to scratch the skin off of my knees. I couldn't even sleep because the itching was so bad. 

Neosporin contains neomycin sulfate and polymyxin B sulfate as two of the first three major ingredients. One of the main components of Neosporin is Neomycin Sulfate which is a type of antibiotic, so that's out. 

In Polysporin, polymyxin B sulfate is the main ingredient. That's another allergy inducing remedy that will drive you bonkers with itching, just like Neosporin.

Use Bacitracin instead for your cuts, scrapes and anything requiring a healing ointment. (Although allergic cross reaction with sulfa drugs has been occasionally reported, bacitracin-containing topical preparations remain a possible alternative to patients with a sulfa allergy.)

We use bacitracin! I didn't know about the link though. We were told by a doctor when our bubs was young that we were worried that he might have inherited the allergy and a doctor told us that "cillin" antibiotics are the "rice and beans" of antibiotics. 

 

As far as Jenelle goes, I wish she had shot that gun and the kickback knocked her in the mouth. 

[ShaNaeNae]

20 minutes ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

As far as Jenelle goes, I wish she had shot that gun and the kickback knocked her in the mouth. 

This gave me a fit of giggles.  While at work.  Thank you.

For those wanting to try BA, go for it.  I did Hello Fresh, they got my address wrong, never tried to redeliver and was basically like "sorry, try again another day".  So I got a free trial for Blue Apron and LOVED it.  It's just the boyfriend & I and I want to say it was about $60 a week for 3 two-person meals.  He went on a "we need to crack down on the budget" campaign after about 2 months so we cancelled.  If it were up to me, I'd continue doing it.  Now that I know they kicked Duhnelle to the curb, I love them more.

Edited February 15, 2018 by ShaNaeNae

[Bridget]

6 hours ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

Of course any woman who criticizes him is a bitch!  

Looking at picture, its perfect for Jenelle and David's imminent ID Channel special. I can see them using this pic and the voiceover going something like, " Here is a photo of Jenelle holding the rifle that authorities say, would later be used to kill her."

Who dropped him on his head (repeatedly) when he was born? 

I cannot believe he calls women bitches and uses such vulgar language so freely and regularly where the whole world can see it. Actually, I can. I am truly surprised that he didn't bust out the C word. I am honestly shocked. I have no doubt it will be posted at some point.

I'm waiting for the day when the MTV Guy-Who-Dropped-His-Jacket in LA gets to knock UBT on his arse.

His behavior was beyond deplorable and I hope those who were called such awful names send C&D letters to The Land! That kind of SM shit should be more than enough for MTV to either not film him or fire him. It's another reason that these morons need to stay off of social media. I really wish there was a clause in their contracts that prohibited them from using social media under their real names (except for Chelsea and Randy). I'm with @Farmfam - let's storm the MTV gates.

I was getting so upset just reading his responses. The fact that he uses the words "bitch" and "fuck" so frequently is a clear indication that he uses them about every 4th word on The Land. He appears to be so damn defensive & on edge to the point where he's a bomb just waiting to explode. He probably has a meltdown and attacks, then re-sets and the bomb goes off again X days later. 

I don't use Twitter, but I do know that on almost everyone's iPhone, news updates appear with current major headlines. I'd also think that when someone tweets, the trending topics have got to appear on their home screen. With as close as the Swamp Things live to FL, along with the fact that they don't work, are on SM all day and probably use the TV as a babysitter for Ensley, there is no way that I believe that he didn't know what happened. He just didn't care or probably supported the 19 year old who committed murder.

UBT using such hostile & vulgar language to communicate with total strangers (who may have initially been trying to give them a heads up about the news) is considered bullying and verbal abuse in my book. I don't want to get all "#MeToo" or "#TimesUp" about this, but if Jenelle believes she's a real celeb, then someone needs to let her know that her "celeb husband" will be added to the list of celebrity arseholes who have abused women & have faced consequences.

Edited February 15, 2018 by Bridget

[Bridget]

7 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I had no idea what happened in FL. I quit watching the news after the election, it was stressing me out too much. But usually I somehow come across big stuff like that. 

I'm all for gun ownership, but no matter what the timing is, I think posting pics of your guns all over social media is a really stupid thing to do. 

I love how he hashtagged it safety first while Jenelle is tottering around in heels. Like it's some action movie. Morons. 

Exactly! More than one way to get the news than television.

I know she wasn't going to shoot the fire arm, but where are her ear plugs and eye goggles? They aren't the best accessories for another photo shoot, I know, but mentioning safety first without any appearance of safety being practiced? They really are morons.

[ghoulina]

David going on Twitter was just about the worst possible idea. He is coming across worse than ever (not he could have fallen any further). If he can't even handle SM criticism without unleashing a tidal wave of "bitch" and "ho", can you imagine what he does when he's mad in real life? 

[Adiba]

If David doesn’t want comments about his life or photos, why be on social media?  

[leighroda]

28 minutes ago, Bridget said:

everyone's iPhone, news updates appear with current major headlines. I'd also think that when someone tweets, the trending topics have got to appear on their home screen.

Exactly...even if with the benefit of a doubt that they didn’t know (which I don’t buy) they were quickly informed, all it would have taken was a quick “my bad, our sympathies to the victims” but no, these douchelords not only doubled down and boasted about it, but attacked anyone who dares challenge them. What is the theory that if you have to use cuss words to make your argument that it’s not worth making? I’m not even a pearl clutcher, I have a somewhat inappropriate sense of humor and tend to like people who cuss (I avoid it personally because I sound 12 and it sounds dumb when I cuss, but I don’t have a moral objection to it) but seriously he can’t form a thought without an insult or name calling. 

I generally feel like we shouldn’t be overly censored, and I don’t usually agree when people do something wrong and people start demanding they lose their jobs... but mtv has created a monster and this is getting out of control. 

[druzy]

Petition: Encourage MTV to fire Jenelle & David Eason & Briana DeJesus for posts after FL massacre

[CaliforniaLove]

3 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

As far as Jenelle goes, I wish she had shot that gun and the kickback knocked her in the mouth

I too wish she had shot that gun, I just wish she'd turn it around first. 

[akr]

Actually, looks like Jenelle's doing some damage control on twitter. Not David, though.

[gunderda]

On 2/11/2018 at 3:52 PM, harleybeanswind said:

I'm pretty certain that one is used to blend out foundation. The ones next to it are for contouring a nose and the round ones apply eyeshadow. These sets can be fairly expensive, which is likely why she is showing them off. ?

You can get them pretty cheap on amazon ;)   I have a set and I really liked them but now they don't work so well with the foundation I use. But I use the giant one for setting powder. 

[Mkay]

1 hour ago, leighroda said:

Exactly...even if with the benefit of a doubt that they didn’t know (which I don’t buy) they were quickly informed, all it would have taken was a quick “my bad, our sympathies to the victims” but no, these douchelords not only doubled down and boasted about it, but attacked anyone who dares challenge them. What is the theory that if you have to use cuss words to make your argument that it’s not worth making? I’m not even a pearl clutcher, I have a somewhat inappropriate sense of humor and tend to like people who cuss (I avoid it personally because I sound 12 and it sounds dumb when I cuss, but I don’t have a moral objection to it)

Your description of yourself sounds exactly like me!! 

[guilfoyleatpp]

2 hours ago, ghoulina said:

David going on Twitter was just about the worst possible idea. He is coming across worse than ever (not he could have fallen any further). If he can't even handle SM criticism without unleashing a tidal wave of "bitch" and "ho", can you imagine what he does when he's mad in real life? 

I always find his use of "hoe" instead of "ho" to be deliciously amusing. 

[Jennifersdc]

Just when I thought these two couldn’t be any more stupid.

So she lost one advertiser on a Twitter (or Instagram) account. Boo hoo hoo. How much could that actually pay? I thought she had so many other “companies” and “prospects”. 

I would think that their public meltdown in response is going to make future advertisers a whole lot more loathe to hire her. They’re beyond stupid. They make Farrah look like the world’s most articulate and savvy businessperson.

I have no words about the FL shooting. PR 101 - “I’m sorry I didn’t realize what had happened when I posted those pictures and if it seemed insensitive - my bad”.

Keep Tweeting away UBT!

Edited to add I prefer Home Chef. Easier to prepare, more weekly selections and BA got real chintzy on their ingredients (see no beef besides ground for months).

Edited February 15, 2018 by Jennifersdc

[AirQuotes]

If David is a convicted felon and he isn't supposed to have guns then someone needs to call the sheriff dept for whatever county Money Pot Road is located in and notify them.

Edited to add:  That would be much more effective than arguing with these fools on twitter.

Edited February 16, 2018 by AirQuotes
hit enter too soon

[Jennifersdc]

14 minutes ago, AirQuotes said:

If David is a convicted felon and he isn't supposed to have guns then someone needs to call the sheriff dept for whatever county Money Pot Road is located in and notify them.

Does anybody know if UBT is actually a convicted felon? I hate myself for trying to figure it out. I know he spent at least six months in jail - but were they misdemeanors?

Edited February 16, 2018 by Jennifersdc
Edited to add apparently in jail at the same time with her ex-husband. Another winner in the soulmate stakes.

[Mkay]

Someone found some laws that even if he wasn’t a felon, if you use weed or involved in a protective order you are not allowed to possess a firearm. I’ll have to try and find that again.  It’s on twitter.  

 

[akr]

By and large, misdemeanor equals one year or less in county jail; felony equals one year or more in state (or federal) prison.  A felony term might be served in county jail if, for example, there are overcrowding problems, but more likely, if he was ever charged with a felony, he ended up pleading to a lesser misdemeanor charge or something (possibly with felony hanging over his head if he violated parole). Certainly he got quite salty about it to someone who said he'd been convicted of a felony.

So: guilty of one? Wouldn't shock me in the slightest. Convicted of one? I'm assuming not.  Long record of arrests and some convictions for misdemeanors, though.

To be able to get a firearm after a felony conviction in North Carolina, basically you need to get the conviction expunged: http://www.kirkkirklaw.com/legal-resources/firearm-rights-after-felony-conviction-nc/  (You can also apply to get your rights restored, but good luck with that, I guess). There are limits on what you could have done in the first place.  A gubernatorial pardon would presumably work as well. I didn't read to see how NC feels about felony convictions from other jurisdictions.

One of Jenelle's retweets was the President's suggestion that people report those they think may be a problem. (She retweeted a wide range of other comments, so it's not like she's leaving it at that, so that's fine) - but hmm, isn't your household exactly the sort of one that people might want to ask the authorities to take a closer look at, if that's the standard?  If nothing else, don't fire out into the flat nothingness (bullets travel!!) of your shitty muddy ATV-track-cluttered Land. (They clearly didn't give any thought to where she was posing, just what she was wearing and whether David thought she looked hot.)

[On the boxed meal kit front: I like Blue Apron (though I liked it better a year ago - they've dumbed down the sides, which were often the surprising take-away keeper recipes) and Martha & Marley Spoon, but have twice been ripped off by Home Chef offering discounts but then not honoring them (also, they're a touch more expensive). The trick with any of these, in my opinion is to only order occasionally.  Blue Apron will start sending you discounts if it's been a while, too, so you needn't pay full price if you're not doing it regularly. I like being able to access the BA recipes even from weeks that I didn't order the meals.] 

[leighroda]

I saw all the retweets, I’m guessing it’s her attempt at not being a narcissistic twat. I’m guessing she probably didn’t even read the content, and just retweeted a couple things to seem like she cares. I feel like their family is more of the “snitches get stitches” type, maybe that’s even in a decorative pillow.

[druzy]

1 hour ago, Jennifersdc said:

Does anybody know if UBT is actually a convicted felon? I hate myself for trying to figure it out. I know he spent at least six months in jail - but were they misdemeanors?

 

[GreatKazu]

4 hours ago, CaliforniaLove said:

I too wish she had shot that gun, I just wish she'd turn it around first. 

Don't worry. David will do it soon enough. 

[harleybeanswind]

15 hours ago, crazychicken said:

David is proving once again that he is an arse not only his comment but then changing his profile pic to it is beyond words to me.

Ugh. I had called him out via instagram last night. I woke up and saw that I had been blocked. I do not buy that they didn't know the terrible shooting occurred. My phone has been singing notifications since it happened. Own up to your mistake and apologize. Stop calling people a bitch. It only proves that you are the bitch.

[christie]

I really like the Valentine's picture of Jace and Barbara; I love their smiles - genuine, happy smiles - no clenched teeth or locked jaws for Jace here; it's like looking at a different boy. It's so nice to see them both looking so happy. 

 

I don't know for certain whether Jenelle and David knew about the Florida shooting; I do, however, have this comment to make: I, too, don't watch the news 'cause I find it too depressing but I usually end up hearing about the big things. "Florida" was, and still is, trending on Twitter in Greece (where I live) but I didn't find out about it there,  a friend (who lives in Australia) posted an article on Facebook about the shooting so I find it highly unlikely that they didn't know given that my friend and I (who live on different continents) knew.

[akr]

I can buy that they were unaware. I was reading trivial nonsense online on 9/11 and didn't know about it for a while until someone mentioned it. (West Coast, home alone, and I don't turn on the TV or anything when I get up, and nobody called, so I just didn't know). And I was traveling in Morocco when the Challenger went down and probably heard about it the next day (saw it in the International Herald Tribune or something), and didn't see the footage for a long time after. I never did feel the connection to that that so many did.

It's easy to be doing something else when something happens; the question is, what do you do once you do know?  And, if you're posting on social media, probably a good idea to get out of your bubble first. They should have known, but I have no trouble imagining that they didn't.  He sure as hell knew when at 5 am the next morning, he decided to also make it his profile picture (up late, David, or up early?). 

He really is a gun nut, if you've never checked out his likes on his twitter page. It's no wonder he's not budging.  I wonder if it might be something that plants an extra seed of doubt in Jenelle's mind - since it threatens her livelihood if his attitude gets them both blackballed.

Edited February 16, 2018 by akr
fixed little things

[lovesnark]

13 hours ago, teapot said:

considering Pinterest is where she got Ensley's *name*, I 'm not surprised!!

And, she bought her wedding on Etsy. I swear, she typed in 'wedding stuff' and just hit purchase on everything that popped up.

[lovesnark]

2 hours ago, druzy said:

 

Looks like they were all misdemeanors. Jenelle has never been convicted of a felony, either. She's managed to plead everything down to a misdemeanor. If she had been convicted of hitting Nathan's girlfriend with the mason jar, it would have been a felony conviction and would have been considered a violent criminal conviction.

[akr]

7 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

If she had been convicted of hitting Nathan's girlfriend with the mason jar, it would have been a felony conviction

Probably would have been a tweener and sentenced as a misdemeanor.

[lovesnark]

13 hours ago, Mkay said:

He is so vile! I don't have a twitter account, so don't know the rules. Is this something that should be reported? Or, is it anything goes as long as you don't threaten to kill someone?

Edited February 16, 2018 by lovesnark

[leighroda]

Well, all I know is the news and president have said many many many times “if you see something say something” sooooooo....

Police dept (pd): what can I help you with

me: I need to report suspicious activity, there is a man making repeated threats of filling streets with uppercuts, fucking women up the ass, he attacked a bunch of balloons with a knife at a fake New Years party, and he was posting pictures of his wife with an ar-15, the president said to contact the authorities repeatedly if something doesn’t seem right, and well he’s definitely not ok.

(I feel like my sarcasm is obvious, but for the record I do not actually believe anyone should report them to the authorities... it wouldn’t matter Dustin would come in on his white horse and feathers in his hair flowing in the wind and save them from any charges)