I agree with a lot of your post.
The only thing I’m say, no matter if they choose to have 2 children or 20 children, they need to be cared for. Even if Jill would get a job while Derick goes to school, childcare would break them. If Jill hates being a SAHM (I agree, she doesn’t like it) going to work part time wouldn’t provide an income, the money would go to childcare.
If Jill was allowed to ever get a job, it would be self-fulfilling, not for money.
Many people I know kept their jobs after children and bring practically nothing home financially but leaving their job creates other challenges. For example, I left my job as a teacher to be at home and my husband is self employed. (I’d be bringing home less than $7,000 a year after childcare, gas, commuting, clothes, etc if I kept working) I’ve been home now 5 years, haven’t done anything to continue my credits I need to maintain my teaching credentials, I’m so out of the loop that going back would be very difficult. I’m basiacally an undesirable candidate anymore. This is a job that pays well and I was well qualified for! I had a girlfriend keep her job, again bringing nothing home financially, but said that in 5-7 years she has so much growth potential at her job that leaving would jeopardize climbing the corporate ladder. Then helping to provide a nice life for their family.
The worst part is that neither Jill or Derick have any goals or aspirations. Sure, Derick is in school now, but I doubt he will ever actually use a degree, if he gets it. It’s disgusting if his mom is providing for them at all even if Jill worked.