The Straw(berry) That Broke The Camels Back

[Mindthinkr]

Jeff’s Grandmother is rushed to the hospital and Jeff’s stress level goes through the roof as he reevaluates his grandmother’s needs and his needs of getting his houses worked on without being there to micromanage. 

I understand why Jeff had his grandmother placed in Hospice care but he did promise her she could be at home with 24 hour care. He is torn between her care and that of his work and toddler. 

One blatent thing that bothered me was that the side rails on her hospital bed were not raised after she was moved from the hospital to Hospice. That is just dangerous. 

[DrivingSideways]

This was a weird episode.  It was very much produced like a horror movie, with foreboding music and Jeff seemingly about to erupt.  I definitely understand Jeff's stress level here, but he is such a toxic person that watching this show isn't nearly as fun as it used to be.  Jenni is clearly not herself, and watching the cast rush around to do Jeff's bidding before he starts screaming was strange (specifically the scene with the tape).  I feel bad for Monroe, her life is not going to be easy with Jeff as a father.  Jeff has got to be one of the most unhealthy people on reality TV, which is saying a lot.

I kind of felt bad for the dog who missed her owner so much, and just got shipped off to training for 5 weeks.  Why can't Jeff keep his beloved grandmother's dog?

[Mindthinkr]

2 hours ago, DrivingSideways said:

I kind of felt bad for the dog who missed her owner so much, and just got shipped off to training for 5 weeks.  Why can't Jeff keep his beloved grandmother's dog?

Jeff could have taken the dog to go visit his grandmother in Hospice. I think that it would have brought her joy. I think it’s callous of him to immediately chose to find a way to get rid of him. 

I understand his position of wanting her to be where she is safest, but I still don’t like that he broke his promise to her about being allowed to spend the rest of her days at home. Hospice will do home visits, send in a volunteer and even their MD’s will do housecalls. 

Has it been said why she has refused to eat or drink? To me this sounds like a sudden change although she didn’t eat lunch with the gang on their last televised visit. I think she got mad about something it is the only control she has left with which to protest. I know that with his busy schedule that he can’t visit her too much, but he should have hired a companion for the daylight hours to see to her small needs and keep her company. 

It was nice that there was a photo of Monroe plus Jeff and Monroe but there also should have been a photo of Gage. The flowers were nice but how about a plant that doesn’t die. Perhaps an orchid. 

Edited October 17, 2018 by Mindthinkr
Fixed a few mistakes.

[pasdetrois]

As usual, Jeff made his grandmother's illness all about him.

He isn't alone in responsibility for her. We heard his brother offer to help, and Jeff's father is alive. I suspect Jenni has pitched in over the years, and possibly Gage and a long list of housekeepers and health aides.

Hospice is wonderful, but Jeff could have honored his promise and brought his grandmother to his home. He also clearly doesn't want to take in her dog. Did she really want to be shown on camera while so ill? Jeff is an asshole.

Since I loathe Jeff, I'll speculate that the work on his grandmother's house over the years was so he could claim it and make money off of it after her death.

This is the first episode I've watched this season. The show is relentlessly depressing, with Jeff obsessed with finding fault with others, and failing to take common sense steps to change his behaviors and resolve problems. He clearly spends his days and nights focused on this fault-finding, instead of running his businesses and sharing equally in the care of Monroe.

Jeff has sabotaged so many business opportunities, and his "flips" are long-term expensive renovations/restorations. People take all kinds of passive-aggressive revenge against him, while collecting their checks.

I hope that he is finally facing some consequences. All he cares about is money, and I think he's losing it and squandering it hand over fist.

I still think Gage has a long-range strategic plan.

[bichonblitz]

The editing was weird when first we see Jeff and Jenni driving down the road then immediately cut to the scene of Jeff being pulled off to the side of the road screaming at Jenni. My god, he was so full of rage. 

Also, Jeff pulling everything out of that big fancy refrige at that remodel and everybody scurrying around to get rid of the food and try to cram it in that tiny refrige so he would calm down.  

Are we sure he didn't take in his grandma's dog? Seeing how he loves animals I would think that would have been a given, especially since the dog belonged to his beloved grandma. 

RIP Patty. 

[QuinnM]

1 hour ago, DrivingSideways said:

I kind of felt bad for the dog who missed her owner so much, and just got shipped off to training for 5 weeks.  Why can't Jeff keep his beloved grandmother's dog?

Because the dog is out of control and Jeff has a child under 2 in the home.  So that is a dangerous situation.  Maybe he hopes that after proper training he can take the dog.  But it would be reckless to bring that dog into a home with a small child.

[beeziebee]

Jeff clearly said he was taking Lucy to training camp so she could have better manners.  It's a common thing to do.  Then he said that if her manners improved (she would need to get along with his current pets and more importantly, Monroe), Lucy might live with him.  Otherwise, Lucy would be much more adoptable if she were better trained/behaved.  Can't argue with that logic.  

[Writing Wrongs]

I loved Cat's face when Jeff was telling her to make funeral arrangements and stuff. Is that what a "Design Associate" does? 

I can't keep up with Jeff's houses. There's Old Hollywood, New Hollywood, Valley Vista...which one is for them to (hopefully) permanently live in?

Paul and Frankie are useless. 

[Mindthinkr]

2 minutes ago, Writing Wrongs said:

I loved Cat's face when Jeff was telling her to make funeral arrangements and stuff. Is that what a "Design Associate" does? 

I can't keep up with Jeff's houses. There's Old Hollywood, New Hollywood, Valley Vista...which one is for them to (hopefully) permanently live in?

Paul and Frankie are useless. 

Aren’t all of his office employees some type of personal assistant? Jenni has been there for him for years. To help him fix what ever situation rears it’s ugly head. Besides job security, I think that Cat was weirded out by his requests, but understands that to do this for him would relieve then tension in the office (and in Jeff’s mind). I think everyone walks around on eggshells. They may all be his glue, but if Humpty Dumpty falls and breaks, they won’t be able to put him together again. 

[gunderda]

2 hours ago, DrivingSideways said:

I kind of felt bad for the dog who missed her owner so much, and just got shipped off to training for 5 weeks.  Why can't Jeff keep his beloved grandmother's dog?

He said that the dog had no training and in order to stay with them she would need to be trained and in the event she couldn't stay with them then she would be more adoptable. 

2 hours ago, pasdetrois said:

He isn't alone in responsibility for her. We heard his brother offer to help, and Jeff's father is alive. I suspect Jenni has pitched in over the years, and possibly Gage and a long list of housekeepers and health aides.

 

Since I loathe Jeff, I'll speculate that the work on his grandmother's house over the years was so he could claim it and make money off of it after her death.

This is Jeff's mother's mom and Jeff has said that his grandma and father never got along.  I think he recently said that his grandma blamed his dad for his mother's death (not as in he murdered her or anything)

And no, since his grandma's passing he has been very open about how he has told his brothers he had never had any plans to be repaid for the amount he put in that house, which was about $75k.  Her will stated that he would receive 1/3 of her estate. 

14 minutes ago, Writing Wrongs said:

I loved Cat's face when Jeff was telling her to make funeral arrangements and stuff. Is that what a "Design Associate" does? 

I can't keep up with Jeff's houses. There's Old Hollywood, New Hollywood, Valley Vista...which one is for them to (hopefully) permanently live in?

Paul and Frankie are useless. 

Valley Vista I think is the end game, which is why he's being super particular about it. 

I wonder if Frankie does work when he knows the cameras are going to be around.  He seems to be working every time they show up while filming.  I can't believe Paul decided to take a lunch break during that.  Jeff was right, that was a big F-U to him and even I couldn't believe Paul had to ask why he was being fired. 

BUT what's his face lives at the house with Frankie... so isnt the refrigerator mess partially his fault as well or is there a separate living quarters that has its own kitchen? 

Them showing Jeff's grandma being brought into hospice triggered me big time. Made me think about the time right before my grandma passed. All of my aunts and uncles had gathered in her room, my mom had flown in and I drove up to see her and she was asking to talk to me, grabbed my hand and held it the entire time - something she has never done before. And then she passed a few days later. 

 I was glad to see his grandma perked up more in other scenes. I'm curious as to how long ago this was filmed since her passing was pretty recent and I was surprised she went 14 days without eating and was still that with it. 

[Gem 10]

4 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Jeff’s Grandmother is rushed to the hospital and Jeff’s stress level goes through the roof as he reevaluates his grandmother’s needs and his needs of getting his houses worked on without being there to micromanage. 

I understand why Jeff had his grandmother placed in Hospice care but he did promise her she could be at home with 24 hour care. He is torn between her care and that of his work and toddler. 

One blatent thing that bothered me was that the side rails on her hospital bed were not raised after she was moved from the hospital to Hospice. That is just dangerous. 

I could understand her wanting to be home.  If he was willing home care, why didn’t he do it?  Money wasn’t an issue.  He could have even set her up in his house with a nurse.  She wasn’t eating anymore.  This way she could have seen  Monroe more and Jeff too.  She probably slept most of the time anyhow.  

At this point, I guess Jeff and Jenny weren’t talking in real life, as he has said, Jenny didn’t even call him when Grandma passed.  Not much of a story line going on lately.  All I’m seeing are his houses and dirt and rocks.  Getting boring.  Oh, and Grandmas dog.  Why doesn’t he just take it in?  That is heartbreaking,to me anyhow.

Edited October 17, 2018 by Gem 10

[biakbiak]

Even in previous seasons when his grandmother was on  Lucy’s lack of training has been mentioned so this isn’t new and if there is one thing I know about Jeff it’s that dog is going to be taken care of well and will probably have to be rehomed but it will be in a great place. It’s not just Monroe he has other animals who are older and comfortable and bringing Lucy home might not be not best for anyone.

I want Gage to run off with the swim instructor. 

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

At this point, I guess Jeff and Jenny weren’t talking in real life, as he has said, Jenny didn’t even call him when Grandma passed.  Not much of a story line going on lately

His grandmother just passed a few weeks ago so long after the fight between the two that we hadn’t seen and after her lawsuit.

Edited October 17, 2018 by biakbiak

[bichonblitz]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

At this point, I guess Jeff and Jenny weren’t talking in real life, as he has said, Jenny didn’t even call him when Grandma passed.

That is so very sad especially after seeing this episode. Jenny did a lot to help Jeff with his grandma during her transition to hospice and has known his grandma and the special relationship Jeff had with her throughout the years. Not even a phone call? A text? Nothing? That must have been one hell of a nasty break up. 

[ninjago]

5 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

The editing was weird when first we see Jeff and Jenni driving down the road then immediately cut to the scene of Jeff being pulled off to the side of the road screaming at Jenni. My god, he was so full of rage. 

 

I haven't watched this show in a while and I turned it off when that scene happened.  It was so awful and uncomfortable.  He is under stress and also grieving, but he is so mean even in the best of circumstances.  He wouldn't show an ounce of compassion to anyone else for mishandling something or not being on their game because they were grieving, yet they are all supposed to take his wrath with grace.

The setting of the show alone is stressful: those houses piled in next to each other, right next to the street, the worksites with everyone jammed together among a bunch of construction debris, and that good awful "office" where they all sit three inches from each other and Jeff can listen to every word they say and critique them.  

Maybe Jeff would be a better person if he moved out to Wyoming and had some elbow room.

[Mindthinkr]

10 minutes ago, ninjago said:

Maybe Jeff would be a better person if he moved out to Wyoming and had some elbow room.

Can he leave Monroe and Gage in CA?  Seriously, I’d hate to see him move to an isolated area, because it just wouldn’t be good for the child. Kids need children to play with. It’s hard to become so self-centered when you are part of a pack. She would grow up with more issues than Jeff. 

[Madding crowd]

I think she is pretty isolated now and I could see Jeff and Gage doing nothing but complaining and making fun of any playmates and their parents. Jeff would never move away from LA. 

[athousandclowns]

A hospice nurse told me you can go quite a long time without food but not water. It's amazing that it was 14 days. She looked like she had rallied moving to Hospice. I don't blame him for wanting her to be watched. At home hospice you can't do anything to prolong life only make someone comfortable. 

Hope it's not too off top but I listen to a pod cast while walking and when the Jeff Jeannie broke up not one person reached out to her. (pod cast woman did) 

She was very good go Jeff and it's sad to see. 

[TVbitch]

Did I miss something? In a "coming up" pre-commerical snippet it showed Jeff and Jenni in this horrible fight, but then that never happened in this episode. It said "to be continued" so maybe it happens next week. 

I used to be friends with someone like Jeff. Super smart, fun, sarcastic, snarky. And while you are on their good side, you see and believe the best in them. Even as you start to notice that they seem to turn on and dismiss a bunch of other people in their life, you think that they must have good reason and it could never possibly happen to you cuz your relationship has always been good and you know you are a good person and... doh! Then you feel like an idiot for not getting a clue that at some point, of course, you would also become yet another person who disappoints them.  

[TV Diva Queen]

On 10/17/2018 at 8:30 AM, bichonblitz said:

The editing was weird when first we see Jeff and Jenni driving down the road then immediately cut to the scene of Jeff being pulled off to the side of the road screaming at Jenni. My god, he was so full of rage. 

Also, Jeff pulling everything out of that big fancy refrige at that remodel and everybody scurrying around to get rid of the food and try to cram it in that tiny refrige so he would calm down.  

Are we sure he didn't take in his grandma's dog? Seeing how he loves animals I would think that would have been a given, especially since the dog belonged to his beloved grandma. 

RIP Patty. 

I would have been livid if that crap was in my top of line fridge when there a work fridge right there...for the workers.  In this isolated incident, I think he held his cool.  

[walnutqueen]

I feel very sad for Jeff and what he is going through with his beloved Grandma.  I love their relationship, and know he will deeply miss her forever.

[NannyBails]

Like some others, I don't understand why Jeff didn't get home health to take care of his grandmother at her own home.   My dad and aunts did that for my great aunt because she had the money for it  and because she really wanted to die at home. 

And while Lucy might not have been well trained to begin with, the dog looked like she also needed some consistent walks plus some more attention.  Someone popping in to feed her a couple times a day most likely is not enough, especially since the grandmother was there with her pretty much full time.  Plus, the poor dog was probably freaked out that her beloved owner fell and then was taken away.  

I don't fault Jeff sending her to "sleep-away camp" but it would be nice if they had been able to let Lucy have day visits with the grandmother.

Also, Lucy would do better with a front-clip harness.

[meep.meep]

I'm sorry that Jeff's grandmother died, but he is really coming across as a total ass.  I assume there was a medical reason why grandma wasn't allowed to return home.  I can't believe that Jeff is setting up all the arrangements for the funeral without including the other members of his family who also will be grieving for her.

If you allow two employees to live in your home, and act as unpaid security guards as Frankie pointed out, I think you can't be surprised when they use the large refrigerator.

I assume that was a clip from the "big blowout" between Jeff and Jennie.  

[Mindthinkr]

22 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

.  I assume there was a medical reason why grandma wasn't allowed to return home

I don’t. Hospice care is offered in home or in one of their care facilities. Jeff would have had to arrange for 24 hour care and this was the easiest option for him. He broke his promise to her (allowing her to die at home). Once entering Hospice care people only get palliative treatments and pain medications if necessary. The drugs are allowed to be given in home. I just dont think that Jeff wanted the hassle of dealing with all of of it. His plate was already full with the three houses that he was currently working on. His grandmother should have come first. My opinion of him has dropped. 

I have worked with Hospice and seen this before. 

[mojito]

Quote

Maybe Jeff would be a better person if he moved out to Wyoming and had some elbow room.

I doubt it.

I shook my head as Jeff whined about how much he had on his plate when mostly, he was just delegating his responsibilities out. Really, Jeff. Having an employee handle the funeral arrangements?  He didn't even give much time to his child. Such a narcissistic, hateful asshole.

[meep.meep]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

I don’t. Hospice care is offered in home or in one of their care facilities. Jeff would have had to arrange for 24 hour care and this was the easiest option for him. He broke his promise to her (allowing her to die at home). Once entering Hospice care people only get palliative treatments and pain medications if necessary. The drugs are allowed to be given in home. I just dont think that Jeff wanted the hassle of dealing with all of of it. His plate was already full with the three houses that he was currently working on. His grandmother should have come first. My opinion of him has dropped. 

I have worked with Hospice and seen this before. 

My mother died in hospice and in her own home.  I know too.  I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.   

[TVbitch]

My mother was bed-ridden from cancer and then in a coma, but still died at home. Yes, someone had to be there always, as hospice comes and goes, but it does not have to be a nurse, or even family, just someone. Jeff could not arrange this? I can't imagine it would cost much more than the upscale hospice center. He said that facility was the "safest" place for her... dude, she is dying and will barely be getting out of bed!    

[walnutqueen]

I'm sure Jeff know better than anyone the full circumstances and details of his grandmother's necessary care; which we are not privy to.  To suggest that anyone who needs hospice care can die at home is just not the case.

[howiveaddict]

On 10/17/2018 at 9:06 AM, QuinnM said:

Because the dog is out of control and Jeff has a child under 2 in the home.  So that is a dangerous situation.  Maybe he hopes that after proper training he can take the dog.  But it would be reckless to bring that dog into a home with a small child.

Exactly. Also the dog is not socialized to be with other dogs.  I lived with two dogs who never got along. it's not a good thing.

On 10/17/2018 at 2:27 PM, Madding crowd said:

I think she is pretty isolated now and I could see Jeff and Gage doing nothing but complaining and making fun of any playmates and their parents. Jeff would never move away from LA. 

We don't know. Her nanny might take her to the park with other kids.  Just because it's not on the show, does not mean it doesn't 

On 10/17/2018 at 3:53 PM, athousandclowns said:

A hospice nurse told me you can go quite a long time without food but not water. It's amazing that it was 14 days. She looked like she had rallied moving to Hospice. I don't blame him for wanting her to be watched. At home hospice you can't do anything to prolong life only make someone comfortable. 

Hope it's not too off top but I listen to a pod cast while walking and when the Jeff Jeannie broke up not one person reached out to her. (pod cast woman did) 

She was very good go Jeff and it's sad to see. 

I am a nurse.  I work with people in hospice.  There are so many times that children promise to never put their parent in a nursing home and yet, they cannot keep that promise. Jeff's grandma had a broken hip. She was not a tiny woman. It would have probably taken two people, around the clock, to meet her physical needs.  It is also hard to find trust worthy home help.  I hear tales of people being robbed all the time.  Hospice is the kindest way to take care of someone their last days. They help meet the physical , spiritual, and psychological needs of the patient and also the family members. It is nothing like a nursing home.  Both of my parents were in a hospice center when they passed. My mother had been in a nursing home and my stepdad sent to the hospice center to get better care at the end.  Sometimes people can be at home with hospice, but they have to have a primary care giver at home. Home hospice does not provide 24 hour care.  I don't criticize Jeff for the decision he made.  He did what he thought was right, and still felt conflicted like most people do. It's not like he left her in a nursing home and neglected her.

[Madding crowd]

Jeff and Gage have both said Monroe rarely goes outside and they were concerned about how she would react to the sun when they went to New York. They also go through nannies like Kleenex and have said they don’t trust the nannies and want Monroe to be on the camera monitor. 

[athousandclowns]

Thanks houswiveaddict  for saying what I was trying to post.  I only had Hopice for not even one  full day and would have sold my soul for a nurse to give an injection to stop vomiting .  All I could administer was a cream RX to put on the wrist. It didn't do a thing.  During the nurse(s) visit they called the fire department  ( it was a block away)  to move him from chair in living room to hospital bed that had just been set up.  Oddly my little city did not have a hospice ward in the hospital one was 35 minutes away. 

I worked on a oncology medical floor 100 years ago ( when you'd be admitted to give chemo) 

His  employees did look bewildered with the request for  funeral arrangements and burial plots. Since he must give approval on everything hope he " made it nice" . 

[TV Diva Queen]

21 hours ago, meep.meep said:

I'm sorry that Jeff's grandmother died, but he is really coming across as a total ass.  I assume there was a medical reason why grandma wasn't allowed to return home.  I can't believe that Jeff is setting up all the arrangements for the funeral without including the other members of his family who also will be grieving for her.

If you allow two employees to live in your home, and act as unpaid security guards as Frankie pointed out, I think you can't be surprised when they use the large refrigerator.

I assume that was a clip from the "big blowout" between Jeff and Jennie.  

I would think that Jeff has always been the family organizer, so  I would bet that his siblings won't mind him handling this.  

About  27 years ago, my mom told my future MIL during the wedding planning process.  "If you want a say, you gotta pay".  I'm thinking that same logic applies to Jeff.  

[pasdetrois]

Quote

I just dont think that Jeff wanted the hassle of dealing with all of of it.

This. To be fair to anyone in this situation, it is not easy to have a dying loved one at home (I know from personal experience, during which we were caregivers and also had in-home care). It requires a lot of emotional resolve and sacrifice, and I don't think Jeff is wired for this. For God's sake, he doesn't allow staff/camera fodder to use the bathroom in his homes, and he hassles Gage about the few things that are left lying around. Home health care would drive him over the edge.

Didn't his grandmother live for quite a while after these scenes were shot? I thought hospice only accepted patients who were truly terminal; I remember being told by staff that they would not keep my father if his demise wasn't medically imminent.

Obviously, despite the comments about her tearing out her IVs (my father did this during his night terrors), she clearly received some kind of sustenance to maintain life.

I'm horrified at how sheltered Monroe is. Whoever said that Jeff and Gage will be intolerant of pretty much any fellow parents and their children was dead on. They are elitist in the extreme.

To clarify my earlier remarks about the repairs Jeff made to his grandmother's home, I suspect that he did so knowing that he and perhaps others would inherit the home, and he wanted to be able to maximize its value for sales purposes.

Edited October 19, 2018 by pasdetrois

[Juniebaby]

I don’t know how anyone can work for Jeff.  He is a very verbally abusive man.  Close quarters, long hours, eat meals together and has to account for every minute of their work day and gets berated in front of everyone for the slightest thing.  He is a bully, he enjoys picking on people and gets everyone to join in.  Jenni finally had enough and her husband probably told her you don’t have to do this anymore, we don’t need the money & aggravation.  Grieving is no excuse for being an asshole, im sure we all have grieved over a loved one and didn’t act like an ass, so no pass from me.  Im with Jenni.

[smores]

I have been the primary caretaker for someone when they were home dying with hospice care.  It.was.hell.  I am a HUGE fan of hospice care, I have sung their praises to everyone who would listen and I have had gentle conversations about it with anyone that I know fairly well who has loved ones who are headed towards the end of life road.  I believe hospice workers are angels.  But, in home hospice care is not a 24/7 thing, they come and go on a scheduled basis.  They send someone periodically to do bathing and other care, they come if things get bad and you call.  But, either you (the family) have to be there and watching over things, giving the meds, handling the day to day needs, or you have to hire someone.  And, the end of life stuff isn't pretty.  If I was running a business out of my home along with raising a 2 year old, I probably would be hesitant to move a hospice patient in to the mix.  It's ideal to say promise that people will die at home, my parents want that as well, but, based on my life experience so far, I've told them that I won't hesitate to put them in a facility if it's the safest environment for them.  With a broken hip, the fact that they mentioned the repeat MRIs, it's entirely possible she may have head some sort of head injury and it might not be safe for her to be at home.  

[tvrox]

Having been in a similar position with grandparents, I really felt for Jeff. Its a lot to deal with, and not an easy situation. And I'm sure we don't know all the details about his grandmother's care, insurance coverage, etc. For example they said she hadn't eaten for fourteen days, but at the hospice we saw an aide delivering a tray of food and she had a bib on like she was going to start eating. It is pretty common I believe for people to start feeling better once in hospice, so maybe that's what happened.

[howiveaddict]

On 10/18/2018 at 10:16 PM, athousandclowns said:

Thanks houswiveaddict  for saying what I was trying to post.  I only had Hopice for not even one  full day and would have sold my soul for a nurse to give an injection to stop vomiting .  All I could administer was a cream RX to put on the wrist. It didn't do a thing.  During the nurse(s) visit they called the fire department  ( it was a block away)  to move him from chair in living room to hospital bed that had just been set up.  Oddly my little city did not have a hospice ward in the hospital one was 35 minutes away. 

I worked on a oncology medical floor 100 years ago ( when you'd be admitted to give chemo) 

His  employees did look bewildered with the request for  funeral arrangements and burial plots. Since he must give approval on everything hope he " made it nice" . 

I too gave chemo when you had to be in the hospital and totally sedated. I remember patients getting nauseous just walking into the hospital to receive their chemo.  

I bet  Jeff's employee was bewildered.  Most people would not know what all to do, unless they had been through it their selves. Luckily funeral homes will totally plan everything.  I bet Jeff's grandma already had her arrangements made.  I know my grandmother did, down to having the outfit she was to wear, already at the funeral home.  We didn't have to do anything but right the obituary and buy the flowers.  

On 10/19/2018 at 12:27 PM, pasdetrois said:

This. To be fair to anyone in this situation, it is not easy to have a dying loved one at home (I know from personal experience, during which we were caregivers and also had in-home care). It requires a lot of emotional resolve and sacrifice, and I don't think Jeff is wired for this. For God's sake, he doesn't allow staff/camera fodder to use the bathroom in his homes, and he hassles Gage about the few things that are left lying around. Home health care would drive him over the edge.

Didn't his grandmother live for quite a while after these scenes were shot? I thought hospice only accepted patients who were truly terminal; I remember being told by staff that they would not keep my father if his demise wasn't medically imminent.

Obviously, despite the comments about her tearing out her IVs (my father did this during his night terrors), she clearly received some kind of sustenance to maintain life.

 

My sister's mother in law was in hospice for over a year.  There is no way to predict how long someone will live.  Medicare requires that the patient be recertified every so many days.  Jeff's grandma probably started eating better and drinking once she was out of the hospital .  They may have given her medicine to help her appetite.  Medical marjuana would be perfect for that.

[smores]

I think with hospice you can't be admitted until you are at a point where you are terminal (obviously), and I want to say that it's that you generally have a life expectancy of 6 months or less.  Some people rally and live longer, others get admitted to a hospice service and die the next day, some get admitted to it, rally and go off and then later come back to it.  

I don't think they would have given her medicine to increase her appetite, hospice is generally comfort measures only.  So for the person I was the care giver for, that included strong pain killers (they had terminal cancer), as well as medications to calm them, (valium, etc), and they also had a fluid build up in their lungs, so a med to help drain that to make them more comfortable.  There was nothing to "treat" anything, if that makes sense, it was basically all to make the person comfortable and if they wanted to eat, great.  If not, that's fine.  If they wanted something to drink, that's great, but, if not, again, not a problem.  It does seem like Jeff's grandmother rallied but it's a bit hard to get a handle on the timeline of when all of this is happening.  

I was surprised he didn't have Megan helping with the arrangements.  Or Taylor.  It seems like Jenni is out of the picture for the most part by now, so it makes sense that she isn't doing it, but I thought having Catt do it was a bit weird.  Megan has been with him for years, so would be more likely to be there as a friend/family kind of helper and take that thing on in a situation like that.  I am close friends with some of my coworkers and would happily make those kinds of calls for them.  And Taylor is his assistant, so he would seem like the other natural one.  Catt is a celebrity's wife who pops up here and there kind of as a hobby.  She just struck me as an odd choice.

[Madding crowd]

I think hospice differs depending on medical groups and local standards. My mother in law has been on hospice for 18 months. She is at home with a caregiver but is still being treated for blood clots in her lungs. She signed papers saying she doesn’t want to go into the hospital any more for any reason but I’m not sure how that works if she cannot breathe. She gets evaluated every 3 months.

I’m sure Jeff’s grandmother knew he would not be able to have her in a home under construction. I think the show has run its course too. I don’t care either way about Jenny, but just hearing Jeff berate everyone around him gets old. And I don’t want to see Monroe mocked and teased mercilessly when she gets older, which I’m sure will happen. 

Edited October 22, 2018 by Madding crowd

[gunderda]

On 10/19/2018 at 12:27 PM, pasdetrois said:

 

Didn't his grandmother live for quite a while after these scenes were shot? I thought hospice only accepted patients who were truly terminal; I remember being told by staff that they would not keep my father if his demise wasn't medically imminent.

She passed in September so I'm not sure when her accident happened. 

10 hours ago, smores said:

I was surprised he didn't have Megan helping with the arrangements.  Or Taylor.  It seems like Jenni is out of the picture for the most part by now, so it makes sense that she isn't doing it, but I thought having Catt do it was a bit weird.  Megan has been with him for years, so would be more likely to be there as a friend/family kind of helper and take that thing on in a situation like that.  I am close friends with some of my coworkers and would happily make those kinds of calls for them.  And Taylor is his assistant, so he would seem like the other natural one.  Catt is a celebrity's wife who pops up here and there kind of as a hobby.  She just struck me as an odd choice.

I thought it a little odd at first too but if you think about it... I bet Catt is the one that does the 'odd' jobs as she's probably only there once in awhile. So that's probably why he gave her that task because everyone else had actual job duties (besides Jenny).

It's a little hard to go between the show and what Jeff says on his radio show but he talked about his grandma's passing quite a bit after it happened.  His brothers wanted to plan the funeral around their own personal schedules and pretty much ambushed Jeff to get a funeral ready within 2 days.  Jeff eventually told them that wasn't happening because he wanted it to be nice for his grandma and didn't want to rush things.  So the stuff he asked Catt to do was probably all for nothing since it didn't happen within that time span - except for maybe just getting the info he needed to make arrangements later. 

[maggiemae]

I have 2 siblings - one older, one younger. I had to decide everything but fortunately they had little input other than my sister not writing the obit. 

They were never in hospice but I know people that have been. 24/7. One with a wife there and another all alone. Both in their homes.

They were elderly and had the insurance. Although I am not sure it takes insurance to get hospice.

Caretaker and hospice are oh so different.

[smores]

You don't have to have insurance to have hospice care.  The one we used for my grandfather was covered by his medicare and if we had put him in an inpatient facility, they basically would have taken his social security check for what wasn't covered by medicare and that would be that.  There are others, though, that are entirely volunteer, or, I guess maybe that's not the right way to phrase it, but I can't think of the wording that I should use instead.  They fundraise, use grants, have endowments, etc, but patients and the family doesn't pay for the care.  

I can't think of a less peaceful place for someone to be than Jeff's house, in their final days.  Between Jeff, Gage, the baby, the employees, the nanny, the housekeepers and then the hospice staff and the required medical staff?  Plus pets.  No one would have had any rest and I'm sure it would have been stressful for his grandmother.  From what we could see, she did seem to be ok with being in the hospice facility.  People do sometimes just get to a point where they are ready to go and it's sad and hard when that happens, my heart breaks for Jeff in this case because he lost his mother and losing her is like losing her again.  But, I'm sure it will help him to know that he was able to do so much for her and that he had a good relationship with her.  Him teasing her that he was going to start remodeling the hospice center was cute, telling her he was going to blow out the wall and put in a pool, etc.  I could totally see me having a conversation like that with my grandmother, I used to just say stuff to get under her skin for fun and she would get riled up until she saw me giggling.  I miss her everyday.

[meep.meep]

I don't think anyone is suggesting that Jeff should have moved his grandmother into his house.  But, if she wanted to go to her own home, that he could pay for round the clock caregivers and let her be happy there.

And I wouldn't trust one word he says about his brothers and the funeral arrangements.  He's a control freak, so he wanted to do it his way.

[maggiemae]

I don't know about Jeff's brothers - but I know my 2 siblings left everything to me - twice, with my mother and father. I'm 2 1/2 years younger than my brother and 1 year, 6 days older than my sister. But they helped, as best they could, for me. Which was annoying in some ways for sure. And it had nothing to do with money.

Plus, I am not a controlling type of person - nor are they.

Edited October 25, 2018 by maggiemae

[smores]

Jeff lives a bit of distance from his grandmother's house, right? It wasn't like it was around the corner? I don't know that it would be safe or reasonable to hire around the clock care for someone who was going to be in a home with no one else living there.  You can find all sorts of horror stories of people who have had things stolen or been abused by caregivers who were in their homes.  Also you wouldn't really have a way to monitor when people came to work or if they stayed the whole shift.  In theory, someone could come at say, 7 am for "shift change" and then leave at 9 am, then come back at 6 pm to be there for the 7 pm shift change (if they did 12 hour shifts).  Grandma would be home alone all day and anything could happen in the meantime.  

I do not live near my parents (we are in different states, hours apart), and they would prefer to remain in their home for the rest of their lives.  I've told them that it's fine with me, provided it is safe.  If a situation like Jeff's grandmother presented itself, I'd be putting them (one/both), into a facility, as no one could monitor their day to day care.  We had a somewhat similar situation with my grandmother who was basically just housebound.  The relative who was caring for her was incapacitated for a while and her other kids thought it would be ok for them to remain where they lived (also in different states), because she had a caregiver 5 days a week who would make sure she had groceries, cook, help her shower, and then a cousin would check in during the weekend.  That was fine until the caregiver didn't show up all the time. They had always been reliable and then all of a sudden, they were super sporadic when they were needed the most.  So, based on that, if it were a serious situation, I'd definitely not rely on other people who had to show up with no "backup" In a facility, there would be people who were aware of what was going on and who had shown up, etc.