Season 6 Discussion

[Elizzikra]

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I really don't understand what her problem is. Is it Fernanda's age? If so, would she be fine with him marrying someone who is his age? And why was she making an issue out of him saying he would not marry, only to then find he had proposed? I guess I don't understand; parents know how fickle their kids can be. They change their mind or opinions in the blink of an eye. I just don't get why she's so anguished over this; the man is 32.

I think it's her age and the brevity of their relationship. Plus I think she knows that her son is immature and a player and she maybe suspects this relationship isn't based on anything more than superficial physical attraction.

But I really think it's that she is hurt that he didn't tell her about the engagement. I think they were very close (or maybe "overly enmeshed") and her feelings were hurt that he was serious about - and then proposed - to someone and she found out about it on social media. When I got engaged, the first person I called to tell was my mom. She would have been very hurt to have learned from some other source (but she doesn't have a computer so it wouldn't be social media).

I also think she is generally a little overdramatic and this is good fodder (not the Jesse type of fodder). 

Quote

He ran an errand and then immediately flashed her a small box and asked her an unanswerable question

What unanswerable question? "Is this the right stuff?" Made sense to me since the prescription was in Russian and the box label was in Russian and Stephen doesn't speak Russian but Olga does...

Edited December 4, 2018 by Elizzikra

[lucy711]

1 hour ago, GoGamecox said:

When I was 20 like Steven and Olga I couldn't have transitioned from the "summer fling" mode with a guy I was into for less than two months to a "I'm a mom with a baby and we're talking about getting married" mode without a hell of a lot of internal turmoil to work through. That is a big ol' adjustment for the both of them. Add into that the fact that she's speaking a second language to the person she has all the conflict with and trying to communicate those feelings in English -- I just can't imagine.  Their scenes just hurt my heart. I much prefer the other couple's scenes that bring my full snark wrath. 

This is a good point.  I'm not ready to call Steven an abuser. I think the big problem here is that they didn't have a real, solid relationship before the baby was born.  They were together for 2 months, so Steven is remembering how they used to be together all the time and Olga lavished all of her attention on him.  That's suddenly different.  Sure, it is obvious that the baby needs to come first, but he is 20 and an immature 20.  When I was 20, I was dating my boyfriend who is now my husband.  I would pick silly fights with him such as "why do you spend so much time playing basketball instead of being with me?"  They were stupid fights, and as we matured, I no longer acted like it.  As we both grew into our relationship and became secure with one another, I didn't feel like I needed his attention constantly.  We would have been poorly equipped to deal with a baby at 20, and that is why we waited until 31 to become parents.  The problem is that Steven and Olga went from casual summer fling to parents in the blink of an eye.  They don't have a solid relationship to begin with, and boom!  now there is a baby.

Steven is acting terribly.  But I'm going to be honest and say that I don't know how well I would have acted in a situation like his. I'm going to also say that I never knew how exhausting pregnancy and breastfeeding was until I went through it. 

[charmed1]

I have no children, but I have had my uterus cut open. It is major surgery and it is painful. The hospital wants you to make a bowel movement before you’re discharged, but using the bathroom (once you’ve gotten someone to help you walk to it) means insurmountable pain. I was begging for pain meds. You’re not even supposed to walk up and down stairs. I can’t imagine anyone whining to me about their fee-fees days after I had that operation. At least I got to recuperate by sleeping when I got home. Olga has to feed and tend to a newborn on top of it. 

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, CSS.MD said:

 

Either somebody’s lying or they got badly ripped-off...

Thanks for posting this! I wish we could see more detail in the photo! If we are to believe that's Leida in the couple on the left, maybe she's being photographed with her father, but that's NOT the groom. Ex is wearing a dark shirt and purple tie, the man here is wearing a white shirt and her ex looks shorter and broader in the shoulders. And what's with the other couple? Is this one of those group weddings? How convenient that everyone's faces are so small they're blurred out. It's probably not hard to find a dark haired bride with an up-do to pretend is you. 

[Lily247]

7 hours ago, shockermolar said:

EXACTLY. The minute he said she needed to "show" him her appreciation and not just tell him I looked over to Mr. Shockermolar and was like, yup he's pissed because she's not DTF. And given the surgical incision, nursing newborn, sore nipples and likely still some lochia what kind of it horrible excuse for humanity would actually say that knowing he was on camera? And all the nonsense about the baby not coming first? WTF? For Olga that baby will not only come before YOU for the rest of his life, he's come before HER. That's parenting in a nutshell.  And my hatred of him skyrocketed even more. No STEVEN you aren't running errands for Olga asshat, you're taking care of your newborn son. Even my 20 year old son, during the pharmacy scene, was all "What is up with this guy? That's like $20USD. It's MEDICINE for your BABY. Gah!"

Omg... i agree. I have to say that the first few weeks post partem is probably the time in a womans life when her sex drive is at the all time lowest. Now Steven is a 20 year old kid, not a 30+yr old grown man in a committed marriage who has watched his wife grow throughout the pregnancy and has had an active relationship and sex life with her beforehand. These 2 kids have nothing in common except for sex, and that is out the window right now. They barely even know each other and the feelings they have for each other dont seem that strong anyways. This is a pretty sad situation because it looks like Olga might be staying in Russia with her little souvenir baby of a fun summer in the US. I dont think she will ve coming to the US anytime soon, at least not during this seasin, or it would have shown previews. 

[magemaud]

57 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Maybe the lease is in her name and Coltee's squatting

Like Eric?

[Chickabiddy]

7 hours ago, Drogo said:

I would agree, if it wasn't so familiar.  Rather, it reminds me of feelings I felt once (and I know other non-abuser/murderers have felt also when their children were born) but taken completely out of context of the full new-parent experience.  Like someone took your worst moments during a stressful time, and made that into a blooper reel of your life to show the world "who you are."  Not sure if that makes sense. 

I think we all, mothers and fathers have these “dark feelings” from time to time with a new baby. We all feel frustrated with the stres and lack of sleep. We all have an inner child who wants to feel more help, more love, more security, have more fun. However, as mature, well adjusted adults, we know not to voice these petty, petulant sentiments or take out our frustrations on our partners, or our newborns. We know that doing so is potentially hurtful and damaging to the wellbeing of our families.

What sets Steven apart is that he does not have the maturity or well adjusted personality  to control those feelings and needs when his partner is under the same stress, which is only exacerbated by her recovery from major surgery and need to nurse to the baby often.

Steven has no concept of time place. He has no concept of other people’s needs or frailties. As a narcissist, he just doesn’t care. He feels  entitled to vent his emotions and frustrations anywhere and anyhow he wants. His needs are paramount, and he accepts no responsibility for those feelings. As an empty vessel, he holds everyone around him responsible for his feeling good about himself and when he doesn’t feel good about himself. This bottomless well of emotional need combined with his lack of empathy is a perfect storm.That storm  leads to urestrained frustration and wounded entitlement that will always make him dangerous to those In his orbit- be it emotionally, psychologically, or physically. 

As an aside, a new mother can end up nursing every 30 minutes to an hour with a newborn, depending on how hungry a  baby is. Breast milk does not have the staying power  of formula. Those first few weeks are a relentless cycle of nursing and diaper changes. I doubt Olga’s constant  nursing scenes are producer shenanigans.

[CSS.MD]

10 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Thanks for posting this! I wish we could see more detail in the photo! If we are to believe that's Leida in the couple on the left, maybe she's being photographed with her father, but that's NOT the groom. Ex is wearing a dark shirt and purple tie, the man here is wearing a white shirt and her ex looks shorter and broader in the shoulders. And what's with the other couple? Is this one of those group weddings? How convenient that everyone's faces are so small they're blurred out. It's probably not hard to find a dark haired bride with an up-do to pretend is you. 

You’re welcome.

But, no, the bride and groom are supposed to sit in the middle couch there.

The parents of the couple on each side.

Leida/ex-husband aren’t even in that photo she’s showing.

Notice it’s the same pattern with other Indonesian wedding “throne stages” in these pics (big couch for the married couple in the middle, and a pair of wing-seats for the parents on each side—it’s the parents’ party as much as the married couple’s so they can get a congrats from the friends/business partners/aquaintences from their friends that the married couple have probably never even met):

Edited December 4, 2018 by CSS.MD

[CSS.MD]

I have NO IDEA why she would show a photo of the stage without the actual bride/groom tho:

☝🏼 The Mothers’ dresses are identical and I believe those are the mothers because why would two women wear the same white dress at a wedding?

That would be major upstaging.

Edited December 4, 2018 by CSS.MD
OMG why didn’t this post merge.

[Honey]

4 hours ago, Drogo said:

What men say out loud and what they truly feel are generally different animals, particularly in generations like mine and your husband's where men were encouraged not to show any weakness/have any emotions.  Looks like we may still as a society be footed in that mindset.  The fact of the matter is when a baby is born, men tend to feel unnecessary.  Not because they're insecure, but because... they're pretty much unnecessary.  Mom has the milk, she has the soothing touch, she is the owner of the voice/smell/sounds associated with the studio apartment where baby has spent his/her entire life.  Men can be helpful, but are in no way essential.  So we fret, and (while we admire and appreciate her) we envy what Mom can do and we can't.  We do the little we're able to, and we wonder if it's enough.  Most women are kind enough to throw a bone to the poor guy and tell him he's doing a great job when he's changing a diaper/burping the baby/some other completely replaceable job.  Most men also won't say anything about it (not directly, anyway) but Steven has.  

If Kalani had gone to Samoa after Asuelu had an appendectomy... and she was doing everything for him in a strange place with people she couldn't understand while he convalesced.. and he was cold and unwelcoming to her, telling her all the things she was doing wrong and none of the things she was doing right, and she expressed feeling unappreciated and begging for more acknowledgment- I wouldn't assume she was an abuser.

I cut them both slack, because they're just kids who had a kid.  18-20 while legally an adult is not someone seasoned in life experience or interpersonal diplomacy.  And while they both had no one growing up, Olga will always have someone from this day forward.  If this doesn't pan out, Steven will return to the U.S. and still have no one. 

Your analogy is odd, since an appendix need not be cared for after removal.  She is doing a full-time job taking care of the baby right now, she doesn't have the time or energy to stroke his ego or anything else.

So he feels useless and inadequate, well that's on him, he doesn't need to take it out on her.

He said he wanted her to jump into his arms, like she used to do back in America.  I'm sure she really feels like doing that right about now.

[CSS.MD]

Also, I love how Leida’s had a white-themed wedding for her previous marriage. And now she wants white roses for the one she’s having/had with Eric.

I bet, to her, the colour white represents the pureness of her heart...

[brillia79]

Yeah... No credit for Steven. Seriously. He’s a selfish and verbally abusive creep. And he expects Olga and Richie to fix him, instead of going to a therapist for his anger issues.

No ticker tape parade for him changing a diaper and getting Richie’s medicine. Moms do these things all the time and get no special credit. Or credit at all. Because that’s the bare minimum of parenting.

No overlooking his gaslighting of Olga with pseudo-relationship talk about how she can’t put the newborn baby first. The baby does come first!!! I can’t believe this is even controversial!!! Richie can’t even hold his own head up!!! And yes, breastfeeding does take up much of a new mother’s time. Babies sleep in short bursts, then they want to eat. All day and in the middle of the night. It is tiring, it can hurt (raw nipples and bites from milking teeth), engorged breasts hurt and can get blocked/infected if you wait too long to nurse, and that’s before you get to the part where Olga is also recovering from a major surgery while undergoing a hormone crash! Boo fucking hoo she doesn’t make time to “lay with” Steven (blowjob). 

Olga has not made any unreasonable requests. But Steven turns into a raging asshole over everything. He says he doesn’t want anger around his son, but what he’s not saying is that Olga better do everything his way and fawn all over him to prevent that anger. And make the baby wait to serve Steven’s needs first.

[Scarlett45]

I didn’t want to quote your entire post @Elizzikra but yes. Why would Steven expect Olga to love him? They hardly know each other.

I also agree that Olga is a very smart and savvy young woman with more drive than most individuals to have done so much for herself with no support growing up. I am concerned with how Steven is behaving, I do respect @Drogo‘s opinion (regarding stress and being a new Dad) but I think many of us have seen situations that start out looking like “couple stress” or “life stress” and lead to dangerous DV situations quickly- hindsight is 20/20. 

23 minutes ago, Honey said:

Your analogy is odd, since an appendix need not be cared for after removal.  She is doing a full-time job taking care of the baby right now, she doesn't have the time or energy to stroke his ego or anything else.

So he feels useless and inadequate, well that's on him, he doesn't need to take it out on her.

He said he wanted her to jump into his arms, like she used to do back in America.  I'm sure she really feels like doing that right about now.

Ditto. 

For Steven, Olga represents fun and a good time, she’s not a good time right now (cause newborn care isn’t fun). Not only is Steven a young immature guy, he’s not even Olga’s long term boyfriend who’s had a fight or two with her before. They had two months of fun and summer sex- that a relationship does not make. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I think many of us have seen situations that start out looking like “couple stress” or “life stress” and lead to dangerous DV situations quickly- hindsight is 20/20. 

I've seen it too, I just don't think it has to be a foregone conclusion. I don't think that Stephen has a character flaw necessarily. I don't see him as an asshole. Given his background and (lack of) upbringing, he needs a lot of support, coaching and guidance to be a good dad. I don't know if he will get it or not but I hope for his sake, Olga's sake and most importantly their kid's sake, he gets it.

[Mothra]

4 hours ago, Drogo said:

What men say out loud and what they truly feel are generally different animals, particularly in generations like mine and your husband's where men were encouraged not to show any weakness/have any emotions.  Looks like we may still as a society be footed in that mindset.  The fact of the matter is when a baby is born, men tend to feel unnecessary.  Not because they're insecure, but because... they're pretty much unnecessary.  Mom has the milk, she has the soothing touch, she is the owner of the voice/smell/sounds associated with the studio apartment where baby has spent his/her entire life.  Men can be helpful, but are in no way essential.  So we fret, and (while we admire and appreciate her) we envy what Mom can do and we can't.  We do the little we're able to, and we wonder if it's enough.  Most women are kind enough to throw a bone to the poor guy and tell him he's doing a great job when he's changing a diaper/burping the baby/some other completely replaceable job.  Most men also won't say anything about it (not directly, anyway) but Steven has.  

If Kalani had gone to Samoa after Asuelu had an appendectomy... and she was doing everything for him in a strange place with people she couldn't understand while he convalesced.. and he was cold and unwelcoming to her, telling her all the things she was doing wrong and none of the things she was doing right, and she expressed feeling unappreciated and begging for more acknowledgment- I wouldn't assume she was an abuser.

I cut them both slack, because they're just kids who had a kid.  18-20 while legally an adult is not someone seasoned in life experience or interpersonal diplomacy.  And while they both had no one growing up, Olga will always have someone from this day forward.  If this doesn't pan out, Steven will return to the U.S. and still have no one. 

I take your point, and I'm glad you took the time and care to explain more fully.

I've been thinking about what you posted, about Steven's expressing what most men feel, and your expansion above makes a whole lot of sense.  What sets Steven's behavior apart from most men, I think--and what makes him seem menacing to a lot of us--is 1) that he is articulating those thoughts in such aggressive words and tones, and with such aggressive facial expressions and body language and 2) that he seems so clearly to many of us that what he wants is sex, and he wants it now.  Both of these considerations are inappropriate for the situation they're in (young and only a couple of weeks from major surgery), and the violence (door slamming, refusing to hear her opinions, resentfulness about her behavior--almost, not quite, "look what you're making me do"--informing virtually every exchange, violence in speech and manner from him, not her, is frankly frightening for many of us to witness because it looks so close to physical abuse.  And imo it is already emotional and verbal abuse.

If Steven had other men around to model better behavior for him--even a friend who is a little more mature--he might be brought to see how pointless and indeed counterproductive his behavior is.  If he'd had a more stable upbringing, ditto.  But on his own, his behavior does nothing so much as reveal how little empathy he has for his partner; he can experience only his own pain and distress, and someone who can not experience empathy for the suffering of others is almost by definition an abuser.  And it seems to me the only way he can express his own distress is by bullying her--again, the behavior of an abuser.

[Scarlett45]

And to expand on what you said @Mothra some of us have  seen situations where the power dynamic between a post partum woman and her male partner is so great (she’s physically vulnerable, perhaps socially isolated, mentally foggy due to lack of sleep) behavior that wasn’t so awful before gets worse. I have a female friend who was raped by her (now ex) husband post partum. He had a history of being a jerk when he was “drunk” or “stressed”, not respecting her boundaries and calling her names BUT it wasn’t until after her son was born and she went through that (never mind the physical pain of it) she saw that the relationship was not healthy. 

For the record I am NOT saying Steven would ever hurt Olga (or anyone else), but I think if more men and women could talk about how they feel, your experiences @Drogo would be a part of the consciousness and minds wouldn’t race to a worst case scenario (like my friend who was raped by her own husband whom she loved and trusted two weeks after she gave birth). 

[Kiss my mutt]

My husband and I were not at our best after our first baby was born and things were extremely tense and we were both sensitive and critical with each other. Being sleep deprived and having a colicky baby doesnt help but the difference is we were in a much better situation to handle these normal adjustments than Olga and Steven. They lack resources and maturity which increases risk factors for abuse especially with someone who has a history of anger issues. That in itself, makes me see things in a different light and makes me worry for their well-being. 

We are all slaves to the edit but I can only judge with the information presented and it’s troubling. 

[CSS.MD]

12 hours ago, Drogo said:

I think he said he rented that so he could fit her whole family in one vehicle.

Thanks to everyone who pointed it out that that shiny rapper-grade SUV was most likely a rental. That explains why it was so shiny (Eric does NOT strike me as the type to baby his “ride” and take it to the car salon to have it ‘polished’, so that was pretty confusing).

Snoop Dogg he is not:

And Leida is no Martha Stewart...

Actually! Martha Stewart could’ve taken the ickiest couch and DIY-prettified it to the point of looking classy on a budget...

🛋✨

[Scarlett45]

@CSS.MD off topic- my Mom had one of the very first cadillac Escalades in the late 90s (Before Ludacris’ made his video). After a year of riding around in that thing and random guys saying “yo dog” and “on top of yo escalade” all over the south side of Chicago, she traded it in! “I’m too old for this.”

[Kiss my mutt]

I'm fairly “middle class” and my life looks a whole lot different than Eric’s. Wow!

[guilfoyleatpp]

All your posts reminded me of some of my DV hotline training. A lot of men start abusing their partners after a major relationship milestone. 

An engagement. A wedding. A childbirth. Something that flips a switch and makes them realize their partner isn't in a position to fight back or leave. And stress.

Its the frog in the boiling pot thing. The water heats up so slowly that the frog doesn’t realize they’re being scalded until it’s too late. 

I knew a woman who disclosed to me that the first time her ex-husband hit her was on their wedding night. 

 

ETA: For clarification and because it makes me uncomfortable that someone might not seek help if they thought otherwise, the woman who disclosed the information about her husband was an acquaintance, not a client of the hotline. I wouldn't share the story of a woman seeking assistance in a public forum. That would not be ethical. 

Edited December 4, 2018 by guilfoyleatpp

[Elizzikra]

Quote

1) that he is articulating those thoughts in such aggressive words and tones, and with such aggressive facial expressions and body language and 2) that he seems so clearly to many of us that what he wants is sex, and he wants it now.

To the first point, I don't think that he knows any other way. He has few to no role models for better communication. No one has ever taught or role modeled for him what healthy relationships are. He has no idea how to do any of this. It doesn't make the end result of his behavior any better but I don't think he's an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. This is his normal. Actually it's probably his idea of an improvement over what his parents showed him.

To the second point - I assume that 20 year old guys always want sex but that being said, I don't think that he is pushing Olga for sex - I think he wants the affection and gushing attention she paid him before the baby arrived. Again, not excusing the end result but I just don't get that vibe here.

[CSS.MD]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

@CSS.MD off topic- my Mom had one of the very first cadillac Escalades in the late 90s (Before Ludacris’ made his video). After a year of riding around in that thing and random guys saying “yo dog” and “on top of yo escalade” all over the south side of Chicago, she traded it in! “I’m too old for this.”

That’s awesome!!!! 😂😂😂🤣💛

[dreadfulLeigh]

I finally worked through my loathing for these people to actually watch this ep (rather than relying on everyone’s beautiful snark). Well, I should say listening because I was mostly on my iPad with my glasses off and just randomly glancing up. When I looked up at Coltee’s voice, I saw a vague blob, reminiscent of Baby Huey. Then the blinding thighs flashes across my thankfully blurred out vision. I have like -6 lenses in my glasses. It’s just amorphous shapes and colors. His head is really weird looking when just considering the shape lol. 

 

Also, when does Not A Indonesian Jewish Princess ever hold her own damn son?? Like, I am irrationally angry that it’s always Ol’ Eyebags. Some kind of forced (def-not-his-parent) bonding bullshit. Just send him back to your parents. You have the maternal instinct of a rock.  And just throw your daughter under the bus. Again  and again. What an empty bag of dicks. 

 

Steven...doesn’t want to repeat his family’s dynamic...repeats family’s dynamic...shrugs because he doesn’t know what to do to not to that. Idk, Steven, there is this thing called therapy. Check it out. Or, and this is reaaalllyyyy out there: how not to be a fucking asshole parenting books.

[Spike]

23 hours ago, HappyDancex2 said:

I think we should get Steven a c section, put a screaming newborn on his chest and then make him take random doses of birth control pills.

When he kept whining to her about her lack of attention I was getting the vibe that he was hinting for a blow job (or at least a hand job).  The nurses probably told him no intercourse and now his trip is ruined.

[CSS.MD]

33 minutes ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

I knew a woman who disclosed to me that the first time her ex-husband hit her was on their wedding night. 

Wow.

[Spike]

22 hours ago, HappyDancex2 said:

Leida is Indonesian Veruca Salt.  She wants an oompa loopma and she wants it nooooooooowwwwwwww.  

Eric is broke not minimalistic.  Broke sleeps on “box springs with a really thick mattress pad.”  My mind had trouble computing that he thought adding that the mattress pad was really thick somehow made it seem less broke-like.  

He also slipped in that they might have to CHOOSE some of the bills that get paid.  Guess all of them and on time isn’t an option.  Broke.

He’s looking at much bigger homes but can’t buy them yet.  These things take time.  Broke.

He wants to buy a non inflatable couch but these things take time. Broke.

He wants to buy a bed that has a fancy mattress that lays upon the box springs but these things take time.  Broke.

There is a song by The Smiths called These Things Take Time.  And the line after that in the chorus is “and I know that I’m the most inept that ever stepped.”  Who knew they would foresee Eric 30 years ago?

[CSS.MD]

I have a hard time believing this was IDR 4,000,000,000 (LMAO) because this looks like a standard package arrangement you’d pick out of a wedding planner’s catalogue, instead of a “bespoke-for-the-spoiled-princess-who-gets-everything” look:

They say the biggest expense on a wedding is your venue. Well here’s the Ritz’s and Hilton’s starting rates:

Uhm, nope.

What, was she giving out iPhones as wedding favours?

(Side-note: Mad lighting, Hilton! ✨)

She is practically scamming this guy into giving her a certain lifestyle she thinks she deserves by claiming she has these “standards”, but I’m not buying it.

I almost feel bad for Eric and he kind of won brownie points for standing up for his children (finally) and giving her that reality check.

That said, I find it HILARIOUS that she tried to long-con this guy into giving her financial security/green card, and her mark turned out to be equally scammy and catfished her too! 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

Just the schadenfreudeness of it all!!!!

Edited December 4, 2018 by CSS.MD
Typo. 🥤

[CSS.MD]

12 hours ago, greekmom said:

Let's say that Leida parent's are rich (doubtful but let's pretend), Eric seriously gave her false expectation on how his life in America is truly.  I bet he sold himself as solid middle class American and actually is just above the poverty line (at this point, I think that Daynelle had more while she was on the show begging for Mohamett to kiss her). Damn, even the guy that married Daya a few seasons ago, had more money and he was living with roommates and ACTUALLY had a real bed.

You know what makes me think Leida is NOT as up there as she claims?

She actually fell for Eric’s catfishing.

Like, my question would be: WHAT DID ERIC’S DATING PROFILE LOOK LIKE?

I haven’t been to his social media, but was he posting from yachts? (Which, I don’t see Eric being that resourceful of a catfish!) Did he claim he has a place to live? Was his profile picture a car selfie?

If she’s so classy and has such sophisticated taste, wouldn’t she know what a good American lifestyle should look like by American standards?

The most shocking thing to me was that she didn’t know what Eric did for a living?! WHAT THE HELL?!

Edited December 4, 2018 by CSS.MD

[jpagan05]

Can Coltee just marry his mom, like in Appalachia or something?

[magemaud]

26 minutes ago, CSS.MD said:

The most shocking thing to me was that she didn’t know what Eric did for a living?! WHAT THE HELL?!

Maybe when Eric told her he was an "avionics specialist" she took it to mean he was CEO of a major airline

[liammaam]

I'm truly surprised with the folks who defend Steven. Whenever he's on screen, I swear my two c-section scars zing with an asshole warning!  Sure, he's scared- but she's scared, exhausted, healing and does in fact have to make the baby her whole world right now- if she didn't, the baby would literally not survive! And my god, the postpartum hormones are no joke. When he told Olga that she didn't need to worry about the baby so much, I was just like, "fuck you, you inconsiderate, gaslighting, selfish sin of a bitch."  That's all you can do as a postpartum mother, because biologically, your body and hormones are screaming at you to worry about this tiny human who is just as dependent on you for survival as he was in her belly.  Perhaps she's emotionally flat not just for physical exhaustion reasons, but postpartum blues/depression/anxiety! It's real, and it's terrifying and confusing... then throw an on the verge of losing his shit, 20 year-old kid that only cares about himself into the mix, and it's amazing she can be this calm. 

My husband was TERRIFIED when we brought the baby home (we often laugh about it now, but at the time, the nurse telling us we could go home was the most frightening thing we had ever heard) but he never, ever called me an asshole, even in the throes of my post-partum anxiety attack where I demanded he not go to work because I was scared to be alone.  He never made me get in the car after major surgery to go to a fancy park (for the men and nonc-section folks, it HURTS bouncing in a car. Oh, god, it hurts), and when we had to change our plans for the baby's good or my good, he went with the flow even when disappointed.  He was just as scared as me, but he never EVER tried to equate his fear with mine, the woman who just had her insides ripped out, failed at breastfeeding and had hellish hormones running through her veins. He never tried t make me feel badly, or guilty.  Steven is an utter nightmare, and ID program waiting to happen. 

[CSS.MD]

33 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Maybe when Eric told her he was an "avionics specialist" she took it to mean he was CEO of a major airline

Oooooh. That is such a good point, tho.

Most of us (myself included) have had fancy-pants job titles but in reality, they’re not as grandiose/glamorous as they sound.

Personally, I think my only true-to-reality job title ever was “intern” (and luckily for me, that meant “research assistant/translation proofreader” intern instead of “coffee run” intern—because God knows not all internships are created equal).

Has Leida ever really had a job? You’d think she’d know how job titles work. Weird.

Edited December 4, 2018 by CSS.MD
“Are”, not “were”.

[jpagan05]

I love that Asuelo has a matching kakui nut necklace for every outfit and that he wears his lavalava going out to lunch in Utah <3

[CSS.MD]

I am DYING to see these fools’ online dating profiles! 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

I bet they’d Ben a BLAST to snark at!!!!

[doyouevengohere]

Colte/ Toothie - Did Colt and his mother serious never discuss the possibility of him moving on once he got married?  I've no love for Larissa, but I wouldn't want to live with my in-laws either unless it's in a BIGGIE house.  At least she has like 2 couches now.

Steven/Olga- How dare he make lovely , sweet, beautiful, gentle souled Olga cry!  I feel I say this every episode, but he needs some serious counseling.  If his family was really that terrible and he's having to learn how to be part of a family , then he needs professional help b/c he sucks at it. Olga is still recovering.....and gave birth to HIS child; he's the one that should be showing appreciation.  Shut yer trap and go get acne cream without complaining and then come home and give Olga a foot rub!

Moana Kalani beast monster/ Rainman- UGH; I hate this girl.  At least she had her baby with her this episode and didn't pawn him off on others. The whole dinner with her Kyle Richards wannabe sister, who did nothing but show distain for every word Rainman uttered, was just a set up on her part to paint him in a bad light again.  She wouldn't even let the poor man eat his burger!  I'm sure she ate hers between tattling and eyerolling though.

Mexican boob Barbie/ Douche- Her dress was boring.  Douches mom has issues with her douche son but she shouldn't take it out on Barbie, who's really young and there without her mother.  Jon did her wrong, not Barbie.

Dried up Jessica Simpson/ Devar 2.0-  She will have the most visually pleasing wedding of all this bunch.  It was sad someone posted racist crap and threats that were actually scary on her wedding website.  This is why you don't put every detail like the date and time and place on public websites.

Eyebags Mcgee / Varucca Salt "I want it now" Ledia- Um, he could have taken her to IKEA or Big Lots or a furniture outlet or even a Salvation Army store (I've found NICE stuff at SA and other thrift store places) and she could have walked out with furniture.  She doesn't need $7000 bedroom sets.  Heck you can get nice bed frames and comfy mattresses on Amazon for not a lot and it comes in 2 days!  The whole stuff about her old wedding was dumb.  We get it, your family is wealthy.......but you aren't and you chose to marry a man that has inflatable furniture and a chair he found on the side of a road that someone's sick dog probably peed on..... unless you are willing to fork over your family money you ain't gettin nuthin and will probably be living in a car soon.  Your family was right, you were wrong, and everyone hates you.  Eric has planned a wedding at a nice VW hall ; either suck it up or please go home.  Also all her interactions with her kid are super awkward.  You can tell she never spent much time with him and is not a nurturer.

[jpagan05]

2 hours ago, Spike said:

There is a song by The Smiths called These Things Take Time.  And the line after that in the chorus is “and I know that I’m the most inept that ever stepped.”  Who knew they would foresee Eric 30 years ago?

Vivid and in your prime.... 
You will leave me behind 

Leida is human garbage and Eric is actually Danielle, right?

[loki310]

I love how the producers were like, I know where you can do your furniture shopping! How about The Country House? You know, the only store in town that sells Eames and Herman Miller furniture, along with all the mid-century modern Scandinavian design hits.

 

I doubt you could find a picture frame in that store for under $100. That old man got hoodwinked. 

[Rdh1314]

2 hours ago, CSS.MD said:

I have a hard time believing this was IDR 4,000,000,000 (LMAO) because this looks like a standard package arrangement you’d pick out of a wedding planner’s catalogue, instead of a “bespoke-for-the-spoiled-princess-who-gets-everything” look:

They say the biggest expense on a wedding is your venue. Well here’s the Ritz’s and Hilton’s starting rates:

Uhm, nope.

What, was she giving out iPhones as wedding favours?

(Side-note: Mad lighting, Hilton! ✨)

She is practically scamming this guy into giving her a certain lifestyle she thinks she deserves by claiming she has these “standards”, but I’m not buying it.

I almost feel bad for Eric and he kind of won brownie points for standing up for his children (finally) and giving her that reality check.

That said, I find it HILARIOUS that she tried to long-con this guy into giving her financial security/green card, and her mark turned out to be equally scammy and catfished her too! 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

Just the schadenfreudeness of it all!!!!

In the top picture,  I think it looks like a white coffin is missing from the center after a viewing. Dreadful in my opinion.  But I'm not from Indonesia. 

[Honey]

4 hours ago, CSS.MD said:

I have a hard time believing this was IDR 4,000,000,000 (LMAO) because this looks like a standard package arrangement you’d pick out of a wedding planner’s catalogue, instead of a “bespoke-for-the-spoiled-princess-who-gets-everything” look:

They say the biggest expense on a wedding is your venue. Well here’s the Ritz’s and Hilton’s starting rates:

Uhm, nope.

What, was she giving out iPhones as wedding favours?

(Side-note: Mad lighting, Hilton! ✨)

She is practically scamming this guy into giving her a certain lifestyle she thinks she deserves by claiming she has these “standards”, but I’m not buying it.

I almost feel bad for Eric and he kind of won brownie points for standing up for his children (finally) and giving her that reality check.

That said, I find it HILARIOUS that she tried to long-con this guy into giving her financial security/green card, and her mark turned out to be equally scammy and catfished her too! 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

Just the schadenfreudeness of it all!!!!

That Ritz Carlton price converts to about $17,000 USD.  That is incredibly cheap!

[Honey]

When Steven said "Okay Olga, we need to talk", my butt puckered so tight I could have created a diamond, because he doesn't talk with her, he talks at her.

I wish she had a breast pump, so she could get some sleep.

 

Bottom line...It's not Olga's responsibility to fix what's broken inside Steven.

[Dance4Life]

10 hours ago, Stacee said:

I really don't understand what her problem is. Is it Fernanda's age? If so, would she be fine with him marrying someone who is his age? And why was she making an issue out of him saying he would not marry, only to then find he had proposed? I guess I don't understand; parents know how fickle their kids can be. They change their mind or opinions in the blink of an eye. I just don't get why she's so anguished over this; the man is 32. He has a career. He's out on his own. He's in another state. He's living his own life. I learned long ago that our kids choose who they want and sometimes if they are going to make a mistake it is ultimately their's to make*. Nothing makes them run faster into the arms of someone than you saying you don't like their mate. She should let this one go. 

I do agree Fernanda is too young to marry but she's here and they seem hellbent on being together. Plus I don't really think she gives a damn about Fernanda's well being; I think she just wants to control her son.

Mothers want the best for their kids. Even if she has married a bunch it doesn’t mean she wants that for her son.

 

I think her mentality is that if Fernanda is 19 and hasn’t lived her life, yet.......then the rate for divorce goes way up.  She doesn’t want her son to divorce, get hurt, get taken to the cleaners....whatever.  If they have a kid...

is the kid going back to Mexico never to be seen, again???  These are valid concerns for a mother.

 

At this moment she is only looking out for her son like she should.

 

It isn’t personal on Fernanda.....any girl will get this treatment from the mom.

 

Then the family won’t get to warm up to Fernanda because they must marry in 90 days.

 

The mom is not necessarily wrong to want to protect her son.  But, the reality is that her son has made his choice.

 

If she wants to be in their life, mom has to accept the situation and roll with the punches.  Just like Jon and Fernanda.  They will have to get to know each WHILE married to each other......as well.  

 

I think they might be fine I because they love each other.  They should wait to have kids until they are really solid! 

[Gobi]

1 hour ago, Honey said:

That Ritz Carlton price converts to about $17,000 USD.  That is incredibly cheap!

If her parents paid 300,000 Indonesian, that would be in line with these prices.

6 hours ago, CSS.MD said:

I have a hard time believing this was IDR 4,000,000,000 (LMAO) because this looks like a standard package arrangement you’d pick out of a wedding planner’s catalogue, instead of a “bespoke-for-the-spoiled-princess-who-gets-everything” look:

They say the biggest expense on a wedding is your venue. Well here’s the Ritz’s and Hilton’s starting rates:

Uhm, nope.

What, was she giving out iPhones as wedding favours?

(Side-note: Mad lighting, Hilton! ✨)

She is practically scamming this guy into giving her a certain lifestyle she thinks she deserves by claiming she has these “standards”, but I’m not buying it.

I almost feel bad for Eric and he kind of won brownie points for standing up for his children (finally) and giving her that reality check.

That said, I find it HILARIOUS that she tried to long-con this guy into giving her financial security/green card, and her mark turned out to be equally scammy and catfished her too! 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

Just the schadenfreudeness of it all!!!

•  

Edited December 4, 2018 by Gobi

[renatae]

On 12/2/2018 at 9:06 PM, TrininisaScorp said:

I like that the standard here is either no bed or a $7K bed.  Nothing in the middle?  Can’t go to the Sam’s and get a pretty decent mattress for $700?  Why must you go to a Scandinavian boutique?

This is what bugs me about both Eric and Colt. Their wives have unreasonable expectations about what they should spend on items, but the things they are asking for, they actually need. Both these dolts go shopping, tell their wives-to-be they can't afford top of the line, and instead of buying something they can afford, go home with nothing! Still no air conditioning, no decent bed, no couches. What kind of stupido behaves this way?

[CSS.MD]

4 hours ago, jpagan05 said:

Eric is actually Danielle, right?

This is officially my new favourite conspiracy theory of all time! 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣💛🤣😂😂

I don’t even care if Beyoncé is a in the Illuminati anymore. LOLOLOLLLL!

4 hours ago, Rdh1314 said:

In the top picture,  I think it looks like a white coffin is missing from the center after a viewing. Dreadful in my opinion.  But I'm not from Indonesia. 

I’m from Indonesia and let’s just say I would have chosen differently (perhaps it’s because I don’t have taste). 😔

1 hour ago, Honey said:

That Ritz Carlton price converts to about $17,000 USD.  That is incredibly cheap!

It is, isn’t it.

I suppose these big mutinationals have to adjust their prices to local living cost standards. Otherwise, no business in Indonesia!

However, if you’re going to live on imported items and food all the time in Jakarta, you’d be living a more expensive lifestyle than you would buying the same items (well duh).

Like, if you bought Pop-Tarts (which are not manufactured for the Indonesian market, but imported through a distributor) every week that you’d have to go to a fancy-pansy gourmet supermarket to get, you’d be spending like an upper-middle class American (by dollar standards) in Jakarta.

(I think that would be like if you bought dragon fruit or cooked ridiculously exotic like Goop and we obsession with Southeast Asian spices on a daily basis. LMAO.)

I just buy local beer to save money. LOL. 🍻

Once you’ve reached a certain socioeconomic class, though, I find you’ll spend the same amount living in a developed country.

When I travelled to Japan (on a tiny budget, living in hostels/capsule hotels and mostly eating at conbini), I remember thinking that it felt like I was spending the same amount of money daily as it would cost for an outing (cinema, eating out, some silly trinkets shopping) at an upscale mall in Jakarta.

The street food, though, will blow your mind: A plate of rujak (fruit salad with spicy dressing) or bubur ayam (the breakfast chicken congee) might cost you IDR 10,000 (USD 0.70) per portion! 🤯 I swear middle class people who don’t tip street vendors or let them keep the change are major A-HOLES!

7 minutes ago, Gobi said:

If her parents paid 300,000 Indonesian, that would be in line with these prices.

LOL. That’s like 25 bucks US. 😂🤣

Honestly, I initially thought IDR 300,000,000 (now, I’ll believe that) but she exaggerated and changed the currency, lost the 3 zeros, and thought it would make sense (as if the exchange rates were USD 1.00 = IDR 1,000.00).

Sure, Jan.

Side-note: I will NEVER write “IDR 4,000,000,000 LMAO” without added the “LMAO” behind it because otherwise it just doesn’t compute. 💱

[Gobi]

14 minutes ago, CSS.MD said:

This is officially my new favourite conspiracy theory of all time! 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣💛🤣😂😂

I don’t even care if Beyoncé is a in the Illuminati anymore. LOLOLOLLLL!

I’m from Indonesia and let’s just say I would have chosen differently (perhaps it’s because I don’t have taste). 😔

It is, isn’t it.

I suppose these big mutinationals have to adjust their prices to local living cost standards. Otherwise, no business in Indonesia!

However, if you’re going to live on imported items and food all the time in Jakarta, you’d be living a more expensive lifestyle than you would buying the same items (well duh).

Like, if you bought Pop-Tarts (which are not manufactured for the Indonesian market, but imported through a distributor) every week that you’d have to go to a fancy-pansy gourmet supermarket to get, you’d be spending like an upper-middle class American (by dollar standards) in Jakarta.

(I think that would be like if you bought dragon fruit or cooked ridiculously exotic like Goop and we obsession with Southeast Asian spices on a daily basis. LMAO.)

I just buy local beer to save money. LOL. 🍻

Once you’ve reached a certain socioeconomic class, though, I find you’ll spend the same amount living in a developed country.

When I travelled to Japan (on a tiny budget, living in hostels/capsule hotels and mostly eating at conbini), I remember thinking that it felt like I was spending the same amount of money daily as it would cost for an outing (cinema, eating out, some silly trinkets shopping) at an upscale mall in Jakarta.

The street food, though, will blow your mind: A plate of rujak (fruit salad with spicy dressing) or bubur ayam (the breakfast chicken congee) might cost you IDR 10,000 (USD 0.70) per portion! 🤯 I swear middle class people who don’t tip street vendors or let them keep the change are major A-HOLES!

LOL. That’s like 25 bucks US. 😂🤣

Honestly, I initially thought IDR 300,000,000 (now, I’ll believe that) but she exaggerated and changed the currency, lost the 3 zeros, and thought it would make sense (as if the exchange rates were USD 1.00 = IDR 1,000.00).

Sure, Jan.

Side-note: I will NEVER write “IDR 4,000,000,000 LMAO” without added the “LMAO” behind it because otherwise it just doesn’t compute. 💱

My mistake, I meant 300,000,000 Indonesian!

[Lily247]

11 hours ago, Honey said:

Your analogy is odd, since an appendix need not be cared for after removal.  She is doing a full-time job taking care of the baby right now, she doesn't have the time or energy to stroke his ego or anything else.

So he feels useless and inadequate, well that's on him, he doesn't need to take it out on her.

He said he wanted her to jump into his arms, like she used to do back in America.  I'm sure she really feels like doing that right about now.

I guess the post partem newborn phase is different for everybody and expectations differ. When i brought my first newborn home, after an epesiotomy that left me barely able to walk or urinate for 3 weeks, my hubby spent most of thoae first few days playing video games and yelling at me to get up when the baby cried at night before deciding to sleep in the guest room. Also demanded repeatedly that i stop breastfeeding because it was keeping me from cleaning and cooking. He became more hands on during the toddler stage but honestly i would have preferred a Steven kind of attitude. And believe me, attitides like my husbands were are wayyyyyyy more common than you would think. 

[SunnyBeBe]

I thought that it's customary for the WIFE or her family to pay for the wedding. (Husband or his family pays for rehearsal dinner, groom's cake and groom's attendant's gifts.) So, with all her family's money, why aren't they covering the flowers, venue, etc.?  I must have missed it.  Oh, since none of her family is attending, what's the need to show off?  This couple is a perfect example of why I believe this couple and some others are set up by TLC just for the tv show.  No way they would have hooked up otherwise, imo. Do we even know for certain that these people are here under the guise they give and for the time period they give on the show?  It just has such a fakery vibe.  

Steven is scary, imo.  I hope a restraining order can be avoided, but, I'd be very wary of this man.  

When Ashley says that she and Jay worked through a problem, it means he admitted to lying and told her to get over it, she does and they are okay again.  That girl is pathetic.  At least she knows what she's getting.

Didn't Fernanda say that her mother could not attend the wedding due to no money for the trip?  Then, why not get a lower cost wedding gown, say $200. and use the rest to fly mother in for the wedding? 

Edited December 4, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[Spike]

On 12/3/2018 at 3:30 AM, Lizzing said:

Ugh, I forgot I was watching 90DF and thought I was back watching Unexpected with the Steven/Olga storyline.  He would fit right in with douchenozzles like Shayden and Diego.  Hell, he kinda looks like Shayden.  I still feel terrible for Olga though.  She undoubtedly had it worse in the orphanage; a former coworker of mine adopted a child at about a year old from a Russian orphanage (and he'd be Olga's age now) and the poor kid had attachment and behavioral issues from the jump.  He's finally sorted out, but that was after being raised in a fairly affluent, loving home.  Olga didn't have those advantages, and yet kept her cool around dumbass Steven.  I was actually hoping that the Russian government was going to bust him and deport his shit for brains self.

As ridiculous as they are, I think Eric and Leida are perfectly matched: both are exceptionally delusional and unattractive (though she does have nice hair and he...does not).  I swear that was not a picture of her and her ex at the wedding ceremony--it looked to me like 2 cardboard standees posed in front of the officiant.  Or perhaps bad Photoshopping.   But the producers have got to step it up on the "shopping for furniture" plot device.  It makes no sense why Larissa and Debbie went to a 2nd hand rent to own place, nor did it make sense that Eric & Leida went to the high end place.  Clearly, Rooms To Go and IKEA aren't allowing TLC to film there, and looking at Wayfair makes bad TV, so just drop it altogether already.

After wasting too many hours on Say Yes to the Dress reruns this morning, I kinda want a bridal shopping show set at that boutique in Chicago; those were some elegant long-sleeved gowns Ferndanda tried on.  I liked the first one the best as well, but it was damn refreshing to see a couple of gorgeous, clean-lined dresses with sleeves and not blinged out to the moon and back.

That boutique was in Lake Zurich, which is a far suburb.

[fountain]

12 hours ago, Chickabiddy said:

As an aside, a new mother can end up nursing every 30 minutes to an hour with a newborn, depending on how hungry a  baby is. Breast milk does not have the staying power  of formula. Those first few weeks are a relentless cycle of nursing and diaper changes. I doubt Olga’s constant  nursing scenes are producer shenanigans.

That is what I was thinking. Even if she nurses every 2 hours that is two from the start not the finish. Then some newborns are lazy slow feeders (mine was) so it takes 30-45 minutes. Then you change diapers, go to the washroom yourself, try to sleep for a few minutes, maybe eat something and do it all over again in short order. It really is an endless cycle those first couple weeks. Then it gets better as the baby’s stomach gets bigger and you get more milk. Steven just happens to be there for the hardest part and isn’t at all empathetic to it.

I do like that Olga does stand up to him most of the time. I am not sure if she finds him scary or anything but I think she is too worn out to give a fuck. At this stage they will be woken up most of the night and not getting 8 hours of sleep, they are zombies really. This lack of sleep may be making Steven worse too.

Women do need men around when they have a baby, they need company and support. Sure men cannot nurse but they can make lunch, change diapers, do laundry, etc.