Farrah

[starfire]

2 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

I want to post something, but I don't want to get into politics.

I thought the same exact thing after reading Farrah's tweet!

Aside from that, Farrah can barely string a sentence together, conducted nonsensical and illegal interviews, required the applicants to put on ridiculous sunglasses, etc., and she has the gall to say she can't find qualified employees/applicants? I'm sure her workers wish they had a qualified owner/manager to work under. Anyone who wants to work for Farrah has to be a little nutty and/or desperate and they probably don't stick around long after getting reamed that they haven't been able to magically adjust the average store set-up time from 1 hour to 5 minutes.

[ghoulina]

Farrah thinks her yogurt shop is special because she has a mascot. No one gives a flying flip about that weird, bug eyed ball. If that thing came up to me in a restaurant, I'd leave.

[Blissfool]

On 10/14/2016 at 11:07 AM, GreatKazu said:

How Farrah, Sophia, and Deb looked for the grand opening:

http://starcasm.net/archives/351452

All three of them did an awful job coordinating their shoes with their dresses.

On 10/14/2016 at 11:18 AM, poopchute said:

Can anyone tell me what these sentences mean? 

 

It's obvious....it means that the writer (Farrah) is under the impression that the more words one uses, the more intelligent one will sound. The writer, however, manages to come across as a moron.

22 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

Can somebody tell me what Coba the popping boba is? What the hell is a boba anyway? And why is it popping? And what does a popping boba have to do with frozen yogurt? This is like seeing a bit of the twilight zone that is Farrah's mind.

 

13 hours ago, mamadrama said:

They are these little plastic looking candy balls that  squirt juice in your mouth when you bite into them. 

I think I'll just leave it at that. 

 

5 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Right up Farrah's alley. Farrah is not human. She is plastic.

I happen to like bobas. I first had them at a yogurt shop, but I've also them with Boba tea. 

[mamadrama]

3 minutes ago, Blissfool said:

All three of them did an awful job coordinating their shoes with their dresses.

It's obvious....it means that the writer (Farrah) is under the impression that the more words one uses, the more intelligent one will sound. The writer, however, manages to come across as a moron.

 

 

I happen to like bobas. I first had them at a yogurt shop, but I've also them with Boba tea. 

I just can't. Every time I go to a froyo shop and see them all I can think is that they look like colorful mounds of large fish eggs. 

I am not sure WHY Farrah seems to be so proud of herself for her new venture. I mean, she basically took over an existing business, apparently re-hired at least one of the former employees, stuck two hands and eyeballs on a furry ball, and just went down one letter in the alphabet to "name" the mascot. 

There you go, guys; I just saved you $200. You no longer have to take Farrah U. (Also known as FU.) 

[leighroda]

I would be pissed if I was the girl in the picture from Farrah's tweet, I didn't see the interviews so I don't know how the candidates really were, but given the interviewer was Farrah, I'm willing to bet the candidates were just fine and Farrah was the one out of line based on what I have read here. I know reputable employers are not looking at Farrah's Twitter so I'm sure it's not really a huge deal but to post an actual person of someone and say why isn't there anyone qualified implies the person pictured is not... and might tip toe around the area of defamation (or whatever the term is)

[Blissfool]

8 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

I just can't. Every time I go to a froyo shop and see them all I can think is that they look like colorful mounds of large fish eggs. 

 

Lol. They do! But they're sweet and good. I used to pile them on my yogurt until i realized they must be loaded with sugar being that they're so sweet. I never looked up the nutritional facts, though. 

[mamadrama]

4 minutes ago, Blissfool said:

Lol. They do! But they're sweet and good. I used to pile them on my yogurt until i realized they must be loaded with sugar being that they're so sweet. I never looked up the nutritional facts, though. 

I refuse to look up nutritional facts at my froyo or ice cream parlors. That there's some negativity I just don't need in my life. ;-) 

[evilmindatwork]

1 hour ago, leighroda said:

I would be pissed if I was the girl in the picture from Farrah's tweet, I didn't see the interviews so I don't know how the candidates really were, but given the interviewer was Farrah, I'm willing to bet the candidates were just fine and Farrah was the one out of line based on what I have read here. I know reputable employers are not looking at Farrah's Twitter so I'm sure it's not really a huge deal but to post an actual person of someone and say why isn't there anyone qualified implies the person pictured is not... and might tip toe around the area of defamation (or whatever the term is)

Lol. The first girl said she wanted to work part time, which is not a sign of incompetence by any means. The second essentially told her basics about how the shop needed to be run. Farrah is not competent, or someone who likes to learn new things, and would be essentially working the same service jobs as these girls if she hadn't lucked into 16 & P, so I don't know why she's so full of herself. 

 

ETA: Boba balls are delicious both in tea smoothies and frozen yogurt. BUT Coba the boba looks terrifying. That girl knows nothing about either writing or marketing. 

Edited October 16, 2016 by evilmindatwork

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Friday evening, we took our son to get frozen yogurt at Tutti Frutti, which is essentially a chain of fro-yo places just like Froco (without the mascot) or any of their other pay-by-the-weight fro-yo places. When we were checking out, I asked the girls at the register what time they came in to set vs what time they opened. (I'm sure they thought I was nuts. I couldn't help myself from asking.) They said that while the store doesn't open until noon, they get there at 10:30am the latest. They have to set up the toppings and she said the machines have to be drained every night after they close (which I guess means it takes more time to make frozen yogurt in the morning? Not sure how that works but seems reasonable). 

So in short, Farrah is an idiot and maybe could have done like two minutes of research into the fro-yo business before opening Froco. 

And yes, I did real-life research for the Teen Mom board on PTV.....you're welcome. The poor yogurt shop girls are probably I'm going to show up before they open and kidnap them or something. I just couldn't bring myself to explain that I was wondering because of Teen Mom (especially with the line behind me waiting to checkout). 

[heatherchandler]

9 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Right up Farrah's alley. Farrah is not human. She is plastic.

Ha!  Pun intended?

[Christina]

Quote

There you go, guys; I just saved you $200. You no longer have to take Farrah U. (Also known as FU.)

But how am I going to get the actual "service" or "product" I am paying to receive? I suppose I could buy one of those autographed posters, but they are a bit scary looking.

[DoctorWhovian]

That "interview that was posted".. those were written answers, right? If not, that poor interviewer had to transcribe those answers? Regardless, who speaks like this, and thinks, yes, this is what I'm trying to say. How can Farrah read her writing and thing it's grammatically correct?! Just baffling.

Also, that tweet of hers, politics aside, you make a much better case about employability and competency when you are capable of forming a proper sentence.

[Willowsmom]

On 10/14/2016 at 9:18 AM, poopchute said:

Can anyone tell me what these sentences mean? 

 

it means Farrah was too lazy to open a restaurant from scratch and she doesn't want anybody to notice her deficiencies.

[GreatKazu]

18 hours ago, Blissfool said:

I happen to like bobas. I first had them at a yogurt shop, but I've also them with Boba tea. 

The poster mentioned they resemble plastic balls, to which I am comparing Farrah. She is plastic with all her surgeries, her plastic molds, and her sex toys.

14 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

Ha!  Pun intended?

Very much so. lol  We know how much Farrah loves her plastic toys.

[heatherchandler]

17 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

Very much so. lol  We know how much Farrah loves her plastic toys.

I was thinking you were throwing out a double-entendre, referencing "right up Farrah's Alley!"   

The plastic balls work too.

[GreatKazu]

26 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

I was thinking you were throwing out a double-entendre, referencing "right up Farrah's Alley!"   

The plastic balls work too.

Yes, I did.HaHa I goofed in my follow up post. I meant to post, "We know how much she also loves her plastic toys."

[mamadrama]

15 hours ago, Christina said:

But how am I going to get the actual "service" or "product" I am paying to receive? I suppose I could buy one of those autographed posters, but they are a bit scary looking.

For an extra $50 I can throw in a booklet of numbers. As an added bonus, I will even include a few letters.

[Christina]

I started to post a witty response to @mamadrama 's comment about letters, but couldn't remember what drug Farrah was accused of abusing by her friend/acquaintance/fellow famewhore-looking-to-sell-a-story-to-a-tabloid that was published years ago, and which I was going to subtly imply she is now selling, but other than it including the letters L, S and D, can't remember it (and it likely wasn't witty). However, I found a Radar Online article where a person claimed she was abusing Xanax and Adderal, and a follow-up that says she admitted in her book to using cocaine.

While I was at it, I decided to look and see if I could find the article that claimed she was caught arguing with an older man over which designer purse he was going to buy her in exchange for sexual services, but there are just a ton of articles and comments about her "sex tape."  There is this Radar Online post where a former friend said that Farrah tried to get her to join a "sugar daddy" site, and in it, Farrah admits she knew of that website and claimed it was a scam, which she should know if she was a member of it. Also Jezebel did a post on her Amazon wish list and the items on it, and makes a throw-away comment about how escorts use it, without actually calling Farrah an escort, even though everyone else in the world thinks it. Also, The Hollywood Gossip posted that she admitted in an interview to "dabbling with businessmen," and quoted her as saying, "I keep on progressing and developing and hopefully one day I’ll be developing master plan communities and bigger projects. Bigger is where I’m going.” Certainly sounds like something Farrah would say, but I'm so not sure that she wasn't eluding to being a financial Smurf, something that some people :cough:me:cough: think she (and Amber) have gotten themselves wrapped up in.

[Uncle JUICE]

A little off topic maybe, but has ANYONE read any of the erotic trilogy she wrote? Because I have. Samples from the Amazon website, they're hilarious (but clearly edited by someone else, though not the sharpest of editors, there are plenty of strange grammatical issues and just bad sentences to go around). For your pleasure, a brief excerpt, ladies and gentlemen, from "Love Through LimeLight." Dim your lights. And prepare for the biggest asshole of a main character you might ever encounter (emphasis and parentheses are mine). 

"A frigid fall breeze sweeps by me, chilling me to the bone. I adjust the lapels on my coat suit blazer  and try not to wince when the woman next to me looks at it with envy. This particular style is an exclusive design by a popular New York name, I wear it because it's warm, comfortable and stylish. But the attention it brings me leaves something to be desired. (Don't start this sentence with BUT, either leave it out, or make it a part of the previous sentence, and why are all three of those articles of clothing listed? Isn't "coat" or "blazer" enough on its own? And why wear it if you don't really like the attention it brings you, why do you sound so proud to wear it? A real first person character with this level of discomfort wouldn't lavish all that praise on it. By the way, that's the first paragraph of the book).

Instead of focusing on her, I do my best to survey the progress of the incomplete set we're standing in. It always amazes me at how little work actually goes into creating the background for a movie. A few cosmetic touches are all that are really necessary and the environmental crew is busy doing just that. In a few minutes, the section of the large park we are in will be completely transformed into an enchanting forest. (Perhaps very little work goes into set creation on the 'films' she's been in...but this is either a set, something created on a stage, or a LOCATION, something like, I don't know, a PARK, that already exists and is purposed for a film shoot, like...anyplace not on a stage that really exists). 

The cast for this scene is wearing only a little makeup (??? the whole cast??? what fucking detail is this, you might ask, but wait!).  My wardrobe is simple enough--a pair of stylish white jeans and a flowing top that make me look ethereal (no chance she wrote this word, seriously because) and wispish (she DEFINITELY wrote that one, which is not a word). This makes sense, since I am playing the forest sprite who will lead the "heroine" on her quest. (What kind of cunt puts heroine in quotes in this context? Are we supposed to like this character? Because if you thought it was a challenge so far....)

The heroine in question is standing next to me, shooting daggers from her eyes (no competent editor would allow cliches like this). I take a deep breath, instantly regretting it (breathing? YOu're regretting respiration????) because the cold burns my lips. I almost feel bad for her. While my makeup and wardrobe are designed to make me look like something out of this world (what amazing description and detail!), the artists were pretty vocal about their amazement while working on me. (Remember when I asked "What kind of cunt...?" You're about to find out, three paragraphs into this masterpiece)

"It's not going to take much to make your skin really shine, Fallon." One of them said while she dusted my skin with glitter. (Fragment. Does this also mean her skin has natural glitter?)

"I wish everyone had hair like yours." Another exclaimed as she spun shimmering white leaves into my effortless curls. (again, fragment, and "Like yours" means "purchased from a horse hair weave store")

They didn't say anything while working on the other actress. In face, based on their disappointed grunts and sighs, I'd say they--much like some of the other members of the staff (isn't this called a CREW on a movie set? Aren't you positioning yourself as an industry insider?) were wishing I was the one to play the leading role (WOW, that is an awkward sentence, but we're shifting into third gear bitch here). "

 

It gets better. I mean worse, though, by better.  

Edited October 18, 2016 by Uncle JUICE

[charmed1]

59 minutes ago, Uncle JUICE said:

A little off topic maybe, but has ANYONE read any of the erotic trilogy she wrote? Because I have. Samples from the Amazon website, they're hilarious (but clearly edited by someone else, though not the sharpest of editors, there are plenty of strange grammatical issues and just bad sentences to go around). For your pleasure, a brief excerpt, ladies and gentlemen, from "Love Through LimeLight." Dim your lights. And prepare for the biggest asshole of a main character you might ever encounter (emphasis and parentheses are mine). 

"A frigid fall breeze sweeps by me, chilling me to the bone. I adjust the lapels on my coat suit blazer  and try not to wince when the woman next to me looks at it with envy. This particular style is an exclusive design by a popular New York name, I wear it because it's warm, comfortable and stylish. But the attention it brings me leaves something to be desired. (Don't start this sentence with BUT, either leave it out, or make it a part of the previous sentence, and why are all three of those articles of clothing listed? Isn't "coat" or "blazer" enough on its own? And why wear it if you don't really like the attention it brings you, why do you sound so proud to wear it? A real first person character with this level of discomfort wouldn't lavish all that praise on it. By the way, that's the first paragraph of the book).

Instead of focusing on her, I do my best to survey the progress of the incomplete set we're standing in. It always amazes me at how little work actually goes into creating the background for a movie. A few cosmetic touches are all that are really necessary and the environmental crew is busy doing just that. In a few minutes, the section of the large park we are in will be completely transformed into an enchanting forest. (Perhaps very little work goes into set creation on the 'films' she's been in...but this is either a set, something created on a stage, or a LOCATION, something like, I don't know, a PARK, that already exists and is purposed for a film shoot, like...anyplace not on a stage that really exists). 

The cast for this scene is wearing only a little makeup (??? the whole cast??? what fucking detail is this, you might ask, but wait!).  My wardrobe is simple enough--a pair of stylish white jeans and a flowing top that make me look ethereal (no chance she wrote this word, seriously because) and wispish (she DEFINITELY wrote that one, which is not a word). This makes sense, since I am playing the forest sprite who will lead the "heroine" on her quest. (What kind of cunt puts heroine in quotes in this context? Are we supposed to like this character? Because if you thought it was a challenge so far....)

The heroine in question is standing next to me, shooting daggers from her eyes (no competent editor would allow cliches like this). I take a deep breath, instantly regretting it (breathing? YOu're regretting respiration????) because the cold burns my lips. I almost feel bad for her. While my makeup and wardrobe are designed to make me look like something out of this world (what amazing description and detail!), the artists were pretty vocal about their amazement while working on me. (Remember when I asked "What kind of cunt...?" You're about to find out, three paragraphs into this masterpiece)

"It's not going to take much to make your skin really shine, Fallon." One of them said while she dusted my skin with glitter. (Fragment. Does this also mean her skin has natural glitter?)

"I wish everyone had hair like yours." Another exclaimed as she spun shimmering white leaves into my effortless curls. (again, fragment, and "Like yours" means "purchased from a horse hair weave store")

They didn't say anything while working on the other actress. In face, based on their disappointed grunts and sighs, I'd say they--much like some of the other members of the staff (isn't this called a CREW on a movie set? Aren't you positioning yourself as an industry insider?) were wishing I was the one to play the leading role (WOW, that is an awkward sentence, but we're shifting into third gear bitch here). "

 

It gets better. I mean worse, though, by better.  

This. Was. Awesome. Thank you for posting. I am in tears.

[AhFillAck]

She "wrote" an erotic trilogy? I must have not read the news headlines that day.

I was already laughing 4.5 seconds in at "coat suit blazer".

UncleJUICE you are making this all up. Oh god, you're not!

[Uncle JUICE]

11 minutes ago, charmed1 said:

This. Was. Awesome. Thank you for posting. I am in tears.

 

10 minutes ago, AhFillAck said:

She "wrote" an erotic trilogy? I must have not read the news headlines that day.

I was already laughing 4.5 seconds in at "coat suit blazer".

UncleJUICE you are making this all up. Oh god, you're not!

I felt it was my duty to share it. Keep your eye out for more, because there's more.

And if you're like me, a guy who's middle age now and always wondered "Why didn't I try harder to finish one of the six novels I started?", lamenting your lassitude, it's maddening to know that Maci Bookout, Farah Abraham, Amber Whatever, Tyler and Catelyn, and Kailynn are ALL published authors. It's insane, but no one to blame but myself ":). 

[ghoulina]

So basically it's a book about how awesome she is and everyone wants to be like her?

I'd only read if UNCLE JUICE re-distributes  it with his critiques thrown in there. 

[ginger90]

I thought she was writing a children's book?

Did Michael ever write his and get it published? It seems like a long time ago that was mentioned.

[Christina]

I hate to break it to you, but as much as it sounds like Farrah's word salad, she didn't write it nor did she read it. They were ghostwritten and Farrah wasn't even able to answer questions about it after it was released. She got into an argument with someone about how it didn't follow her life, and the lead character didn't do A, B, or C, when she did. It was on video and it was hilarious. Someone pulled out their Kindle and read a paragraph that said what Farrah was insisting wasn't in the book, and Farrah continued to insist the girl was making it up, then called her a negative person (or some other catchphrase) and stormed off.

[Christina]

My browser isn't letting me play this video, so I don't know if it's the right one, and the article is definitely not safe for work:

http://jezebel.com/farrah-abraham-on-slut-shaming-helen-keller-and-being-1588802048

[poopchute]

35 minutes ago, Christina said:

My browser isn't letting me play this video, so I don't know if it's the right one, and the article is definitely not safe for work:

http://jezebel.com/farrah-abraham-on-slut-shaming-helen-keller-and-being-1588802048

Oh thank you for posting this.  What a treat.  She is an absolute moron.

[DoctorWhovian]

She named her main character Fallon Opal. That's all I need to know to stay away from that "book."

[DNR]

@Uncle JUICE.  Thank you Thank You for being brave enough to read that masterpiece and for sharing your critiques with us. I WANT MORE!!!!   I'm dog sitting for my son while he's on his honeymoon...one of them stole a Half stick of butter and ate it ???? Mr DNR just cleaned up ???? at 4am. Why am I telling you this? Because your review just helped me recover from the trauma hahahaha ( I stepped in ? in the dark ?)

Edited October 19, 2016 by DNR
Ninja edit

[qtpye]

22 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

A little off topic maybe, but has ANYONE read any of the erotic trilogy she wrote? Because I have. Samples from the Amazon website, they're hilarious (but clearly edited by someone else, though not the sharpest of editors, there are plenty of strange grammatical issues and just bad sentences to go around). For your pleasure, a brief excerpt, ladies and gentlemen, from "Love Through LimeLight." Dim your lights. And prepare for the biggest asshole of a main character you might ever encounter (emphasis and parentheses are mine). 

"A frigid fall breeze sweeps by me, chilling me to the bone. I adjust the lapels on my coat suit blazer  and try not to wince when the woman next to me looks at it with envy. This particular style is an exclusive design by a popular New York name, I wear it because it's warm, comfortable and stylish. But the attention it brings me leaves something to be desired. (Don't start this sentence with BUT, either leave it out, or make it a part of the previous sentence, and why are all three of those articles of clothing listed? Isn't "coat" or "blazer" enough on its own? And why wear it if you don't really like the attention it brings you, why do you sound so proud to wear it? A real first person character with this level of discomfort wouldn't lavish all that praise on it. By the way, that's the first paragraph of the book).

Instead of focusing on her, I do my best to survey the progress of the incomplete set we're standing in. It always amazes me at how little work actually goes into creating the background for a movie. A few cosmetic touches are all that are really necessary and the environmental crew is busy doing just that. In a few minutes, the section of the large park we are in will be completely transformed into an enchanting forest. (Perhaps very little work goes into set creation on the 'films' she's been in...but this is either a set, something created on a stage, or a LOCATION, something like, I don't know, a PARK, that already exists and is purposed for a film shoot, like...anyplace not on a stage that really exists). 

The cast for this scene is wearing only a little makeup (??? the whole cast??? what fucking detail is this, you might ask, but wait!).  My wardrobe is simple enough--a pair of stylish white jeans and a flowing top that make me look ethereal (no chance she wrote this word, seriously because) and wispish (she DEFINITELY wrote that one, which is not a word). This makes sense, since I am playing the forest sprite who will lead the "heroine" on her quest. (What kind of cunt puts heroine in quotes in this context? Are we supposed to like this character? Because if you thought it was a challenge so far....)

The heroine in question is standing next to me, shooting daggers from her eyes (no competent editor would allow cliches like this). I take a deep breath, instantly regretting it (breathing? YOu're regretting respiration????) because the cold burns my lips. I almost feel bad for her. While my makeup and wardrobe are designed to make me look like something out of this world (what amazing description and detail!), the artists were pretty vocal about their amazement while working on me. (Remember when I asked "What kind of cunt...?" You're about to find out, three paragraphs into this masterpiece)

"It's not going to take much to make your skin really shine, Fallon." One of them said while she dusted my skin with glitter. (Fragment. Does this also mean her skin has natural glitter?)

"I wish everyone had hair like yours." Another exclaimed as she spun shimmering white leaves into my effortless curls. (again, fragment, and "Like yours" means "purchased from a horse hair weave store")

They didn't say anything while working on the other actress. In face, based on their disappointed grunts and sighs, I'd say they--much like some of the other members of the staff (isn't this called a CREW on a movie set? Aren't you positioning yourself as an industry insider?) were wishing I was the one to play the leading role (WOW, that is an awkward sentence, but we're shifting into third gear bitch here). "

 

It gets better. I mean worse, though, by better.  

Thank you so much for posting this.  I do not thinks she wrote it, but I do think it is an accurate description of Farrah's mind.

She has created her fantasy where she is the smartest most beautiful person in the room and all her problems come from the "haters".  I know where she gets it from...her mother.

I remember reading about Debra's book ( I think it was called Vapor).  It was self published and about someone scamming her out of money on an online dating site.  I think she got the title from a bible verse.  Anyway, there was an interview where Debra was claiming that she was best friends with Farrah and that everyone envied their mother daughter relationship.  I was like...lady, what type of "vapor" have you been inhaling?  Your relationship with your daughter is often the subject of disgust and pity and no one wants to be you.

I have noticed that their family takes great stock in everyone being jealous of them and wanting to be like them.  They are truly a very strange bunch.

Publishers, please sign Uncle Juice up immediately, his snarky commentary on Farrah's book made my day.

[ginger90]

https://mobile.twitter.com/managerface_/status/788802256040636417/photo/1

[ghoulina]

Bahahahaha, best boss in America. Who makes her employees wear crazy glasses, expects them to open a yogurt shop in 5 minutes, and won't bother to explain to them how to use the devices in her shop. Yea, okay. 

[poopchute]

And is condescending and not in control of her emotions when having a conversation with them.  Fabulous management skills.

[mamadrama]

21 hours ago, Christina said:

I hate to break it to you, but as much as it sounds like Farrah's word salad, she didn't write it nor did she read it. They were ghostwritten and Farrah wasn't even able to answer questions about it after it was released. She got into an argument with someone about how it didn't follow her life, and the lead character didn't do A, B, or C, when she did. It was on video and it was hilarious. Someone pulled out their Kindle and read a paragraph that said what Farrah was insisting wasn't in the book, and Farrah continued to insist the girl was making it up, then called her a negative person (or some other catchphrase) and stormed off.

The hell you say! The book doesn't follow her life? She's NOT a wood fairy?! 

I must find this video...

On 10/18/2016 at 1:27 PM, Uncle JUICE said:

 

The cast for this scene is wearing only a little makeup (??? the whole cast??? what fucking detail is this, you might ask, but wait!).  My wardrobe is simple enough--a pair of stylish white jeans and a flowing top that make me look ethereal (no chance she wrote this word, seriously because) and wispish (she DEFINITELY wrote that one, which is not a word). This makes sense, since I am playing the forest sprite who will lead the "heroine" on her quest. (What kind of cunt puts heroine in quotes in this context? Are we supposed to like this character? Because if you thought it was a challenge so far....)

 

I am still trying to reconcile the fact that the ethereal and wispish wood sprite, she with the shimmery leaves in her hair, is wearing jeans...

[mamadrama]

Well, hell. I just fell down a Farrah rabbit hole. (Uh, yeah...) So I knew that she had molds of her nether regions but I didn't realize she also had a blow-up doll of herself. I was kind of disappointed by it. I was expecting one of those lifelike dolls whose hair you can cut and everything. Hers just looks like Bud Bundy's balloon girlfriend. 

[Marisagf]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Well, hell. I just fell down a Farrah rabbit hole. (Uh, yeah...) So I knew that she had molds of her nether regions but I didn't realize she also had a blow-up doll of herself. I was kind of disappointed by it. I was expecting one of those lifelike dolls whose hair you can cut and everything. Hers just looks like Bud Bundy's balloon girlfriend. 

Post a link!  I gotta see this!  

 

ETA:  Here's a funny one!  http://www.tmz.com/videos/0_8yg91dup/

Edited October 19, 2016 by Marisagf

[Marisagf]

Did we see this?

http://thestir.cafemom.com/tv/201277/farrah_abrahams_daughter_gets_more

[poopchute]

1 minute ago, Marisagf said:

Did we see this?

http://thestir.cafemom.com/tv/201277/farrah_abrahams_daughter_gets_more

From that article:

Quote

Hopefully, Sophia won't ever read those comments. She doesn't need to be aware that so many people have hateful things to say about her, especially since she's done nothing to deserve it! 

While I'm not condoning telling a little girl she is ugly, if Farrah doesn't want Sophia to ever read those comments, she should take her daughter off of tv and the Internet.  Most parents don't have to worry about strangers taking about their ugly children because they aren't showing their child off to thousands of people they don't know.

[Uncle JUICE]

The actress continues to stare at me until I feel it would be rude to keep ignoring her. I flash her my best smile, trying to remember her name(we all know this character would have identified this person as an uber-nemesis and would likely have spent time like Tobias in Arrested Development, sitting in the shower, chewing on a washcloth, crying "WHYYYYYY!!!!???", she definitely cursed this person by name a hundred times when she didn't get this role). "I'd forgotten how cold it can get this far up north."

She takes a second to answer, absentmindedly fiddling with the buttons on her own jacket (coat suit blazer apron smock). No doubt she thought she'd be the best dressed cast member for this movie (is this an award that is given out at wrap parties?). I get the feeling she has something to prove when it comes to me (I get the feeling it's the exact opposite and always will be, no matter who Fallon is with). I may have taken a smaller role in this movie, but everyone knows I simply didn't have the time to take the lead. "I'm not too worried about it," she begins, her voice practically oozing with disdain ( I hate the use of the word 'practically' here, it dilutes the efficacy of the verb ooze).  "I won't be cold once we start filiming the fight scene." (WHAT???? Please tell me this fight scene is for some reason between this heroine and the wood sprite who's supposed to lead her on her journey! AND PLEASE GOD TELL ME IT'S IN THIS SAMPLE I CAN READ FOR FREE!)

I hold my smile despite her rude tone. I don't need to sink to her level of nastiness (where is she nasty? Is this poor writing [yes!] or is this character literally insane and this is a great study of someone with a massive, massive inferiority complex? All this person has done so far is button her jacket and say she's not too worried about the cold!) I only have to be on the set for a few hours. The paparazzi are already buzzing around, trying to dig up the least amount of dirt that they could on me (This sentence drives me insane: it makes the paparazzi sound like private investigators, but it also says they're searching for THE SMALLEST INFORMATION THEY CAN FIND. The proper way to put this is "...looking for even a scintilla of scandal to feed the public, obviously ravenous for their latest Fallon Opal article!" and that's the only draft I'm giving it). The public has finally gotten tired of hearing the same, tired old lies and I'm not giving them any ammunition to make up something better. "I'm sure you'll do great. I hear you trained months for this role." (gotta give whoever really wrote this tripe credit: they surely know how to do Farrah's passive aggressiveness...watch!)

A nasty smirk twists her mouth. It's a shame, since I suppose she's pretty enough. Or rather, she would be, if she could look past her own nose (?????). "That's right, I studied several form of martial art (NO, I didn't forget the S on martial arts...Farrah or the editor missed it, even though the same sentence says several forms). 

I nod even though I'm already bored. "That must have been difficult."

"It was, unlike your role," she mutters (wrong verb, this is a direct conversation) as a sound crew member sweeps by. "Unlike your role, which is much easier."

I let the comment go with a shrug. Her opinion really doesn't matter for much (ARRGH! It either doesn't matter, or it doesn't COUNT for much, what the fuck!), and if she wants to be rude, I just won't talk to her. I turn back to watch the rest of the set being placed, rubbing my gloved hands together. 

After a few minutes, she starts up again, her voice pitched low so only I can hear it. "It must be nice, sleeping your way to the top. This movie won't be one you can get through on your back." (Ok, I get it, Farrah, all women are bitches but you, but seriously, how do you fit so many shades of stupid into so few words? This actress is the lead, which is THE TOP, why would she say this at all? Where did it come from, she literally has no motivation at all for this statement...and is she then insinuating that this movie is not, in fact, a porno? Has this character gotten through entire movies on her back? Did she play a paraplegic? And does this actress know Fararh prefers to work on all fours? Please, I entreat you loyal readers, REALLY try to picture this next exchange as acted by Farrah)   

This time when I turn and look at her, she takes a step back as if she realizes she's made a terrible mistake. I immediately smooth out the threatening look I must have been giving her. It's not like I would fight her or anything as classless as that. But my expression must have reminded her how powerful I am (this is a tremendous view into Farrah's imagination of her own life, and where she thought it was going).  

I turn to her, just in case there is anyone within hearing distance (in English we have a word for this: EARSHOT, why the fuck did you use 'hearing distance' and this sentence is somehow NOT over) who might catch wind of what I'm going to say. I do not raise or alter my tone. But I will not let her disrespect me. I've had enough of that in my life. "Do not forget who the backers of this movie are (SAID SOME ROBOT POWERED BY THIRD RATE AI, who talks like this?) . If I hadn't pulled some strings to get one of the best producers in the world on this project (MAKE UP A NAME, then say he's produced X number of $200M movies, this is just lazy), it would still be sitting on some B-rate (that's some real Hollywood power player talk, B-rate list....it's B LIST or SECOND RATE, idiot) waiting for someone to be interested."

The actress pales and swallows. It's obvious I don't have to voice the fact that I could easily have her removed from this project. I turn away from her and this time she has the good sense to walk away. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding (one that she doesn't regret this time, I guess) and rub my gloved hands together. The soft, high end material soothes me as it moves against my skin. (THE GLOVES have to be what she's referring to)."

Who's horny now? Control yourselves. It's only about to get really icky. 

[charmed1]

2 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

I may have taken a smaller role in this movie, but everyone knows I simply didn't have the time to take the lead.

Ha ha ha! This is exactly how Farrah talks. Oh man, this girl must've had no friends growing up. Even the little girl who was most desperate for friends, would rather take her chances with the kid who ate glue, than spend two minutes with Farrah. She takes delusional to a new level.

[ghoulina]

I wonder if Amber's new boutique will sell coat suit blazers?

[DoctorWhovian]

19 hours ago, Marisagf said:

ETA:  Here's a funny one!  http://www.tmz.com/videos/0_8yg91dup/

Blow up doll awfulness aside, man do I hate the show TMZ

19 hours ago, poopchute said:

\]Most parents don't have to worry about strangers taking about their ugly children because they aren't showing their child off to thousands of people they don't know.

Ha! Sophia is definitely lacking in the looks department but hopefully she'll grow into them since her mom is not going to stop trying to make her a thing. At the same time, complaining that a 7 year old doesn't have braces shows how little these people know. What's the point of straightening baby teeth? And we'll know when Sophia has lost all her baby teeth because Farrah will make a post about it.

[SPLAIN]

There is this deleted scene on the MTV site showcasing Sophia. Oh wow. Help me, Jesus, because that scene makes me want to grab that kid and give it to her but good. It is Farrah's and the grandparents' fault for the way that kid behaves, but one day that shit will not matter to people on the receiving end of her behavior. Michael offers to pay Sophia??? You frickin' idiot.

http://www.mtv.com/video-clips/5iv29p/teen-mom-deleted-scene-sophia-is-too-busy-texting

[poopchute]

I feel bad for all of Sophia's teachers from now til 12 grade.  Sophia will be a terror and can you imagine having to call home and deal with Farrah? The makeup issue with the principal is only the beginning.  

[evilmindatwork]

But who is little Sophia texting? My eleven year old nephew only has a super practical flip phone for calling in case of an emergency. His friends don't seem to text much either. 

[SPLAIN]

19 minutes ago, evilmindatwork said:

But who is little Sophia texting? My eleven year old nephew only has a super practical flip phone for calling in case of an emergency. His friends don't seem to text much either. 

Her mother?

[evilmindatwork]

7 minutes ago, SPLAIN said:

Her mother?

I just think it's weird to see such a small child completely immersed in texting anyone, I guess. My nephew and niece get into playing games and watching cartoons on iPads and tablets, but I associate texting and social media immersion more with teens. I don't have kids though so I don't really know. 

[teapot]

8 minutes ago, evilmindatwork said:

I just think it's weird to see such a small child completely immersed in texting anyone, I guess. My nephew and niece get into playing games and watching cartoons on iPads and tablets, but I associate texting and social media immersion more with teens. I don't have kids though so I don't really know. 

I think she said she was texting her friend Charlie about a playdate.  she was probably saying "yes Charlie I KNOW you want to have a playdate with me, what is wrong with you?  OBVIOUSLY I'm sitting here texting you, you idiot!"

[starfire]

I wouldn't be surprised if Charlie is a 30 year old man she met on the Internet.

[teapot]

2 minutes ago, starfire said:

I wouldn't be surprised if Charlie is a 30 year old man she met on the Internet.

so, so very wrong...

 

yet so, so very funny!!!