Catelynn (and Tyler)

[ghoulina]

Yes, Carly attended the actual wedding, there are pictures of her dancing with Tyler. 

 

So yea, I'm not sure how that worked. "Butch, sit at this table and don't move and don't look in Carly's direction. If you have to go the bathroom, Tyler will accompany you, to make sure you don't go by her table and try to speak to her". 

 

On the one hand, I don't think it would have been a huge deal just to make casual introductions. On the other hand, you pay the price for the decisions you make in life and B&T have the right to decide who their daughter interacts with and who she doesn't. I guess you could say, "Don't bring her if you're not comfortable with everyone going", but remember - Tyler and Catelynn didn't tell them about Butch being there until they had traveled across the country!

[AmyFarrahFowler]

Yes, Carly attended the actual wedding, there are pictures of her dancing with Tyler. 

 

So yea, I'm not sure how that worked. "Butch, sit at this table and don't move and don't look in Carly's direction. If you have to go the bathroom, Tyler will accompany you, to make sure you don't go by her table and try to speak to her". 

 

On the one hand, I don't think it would have been a huge deal just to make casual introductions. On the other hand, you pay the price for the decisions you make in life and B&T have the right to decide who their daughter interacts with and who she doesn't. I guess you could say, "Don't bring her if you're not comfortable with everyone going", but remember - Tyler and Catelynn didn't tell them about Butch being there until they had traveled across the country!

 

Bolding mine :) 

 

I had no idea this wasn't addressed before the wedding which tells me C&T knew there could be a problem with B&T. Another one of Tyler's FU to B&T moments. I would bet money on it.

[truelovekiss]

Question: didn't B&T live closer to the Michigan area when they adopted Carly, and then book it to one of the Carolinas within a year? I wonder why...

Butch can cry me a river. He was gone for 4ish years, and gave his grandkids some prison sock stuffed animals, and promptly resumed ignoring them. He paid more attention to Nova and Nick than Amber's kids, because he knows that the cameras follow Nova, and Amber's kids are in the background shots. He's just as much of a famewhore as Tyler. Poor Nick has absolutely zero shot. He's growing up in the world's biggest clusterfuck of a family. There's never been any mention of who his dad is (just that it's not Butch), but it appears that Butch is his main father figure, so good luck with that. Hell, I've seen Butch be nicer and more affectionate towards him than April has been. But his "parents" are now divorced and he has a new, new stepdad. His half sister is married to his former step brother. He has a "niece" that the evil Brandon and Theresa have kept away from him. Most of his life has been documented on MTV. People literally forget he's there all the time.

I'm going to do Catelynn and Tyler a favor and break down exactly what would have happened if they kept Carly, so we don't have to speculate every episode.

1) Tyler probably would have dumped Catelynn before she gave birth. They would have gotten back together briefly a few times in the first 18 months or so.

2) Carly probably wouldn't have had the pretty name Carolyn. She probably would have had something very tacky.

3) Cate and Carly would be stuck living with April and Butch until the MTV money kicked in and they could move out. Tyler would be living like a prince with his mommy Kim. Carly would spend her first year being exposed to addicts, drunks and violence.

4) Cate wouldn't graduate HS. Tyler would, and he would lord it over everyone, even though he wouldn't actually get a job or go to college. Actually, he might try to be a model, except it requires some actual work and he wouldn't be about that life.

Edited January 21, 2016 by truelovekiss

[Tatum]

Yes, Carly attended the actual wedding, there are pictures of her dancing with Tyler. 

 

So yea, I'm not sure how that worked. "Butch, sit at this table and don't move and don't look in Carly's direction. If you have to go the bathroom, Tyler will accompany you, to make sure you don't go by her table and try to speak to her". 

 

On the one hand, I don't think it would have been a huge deal just to make casual introductions. On the other hand, you pay the price for the decisions you make in life and B&T have the right to decide who their daughter interacts with and who she doesn't. I guess you could say, "Don't bring her if you're not comfortable with everyone going", but remember - Tyler and Catelynn didn't tell them about Butch being there until they had traveled across the country!

 

That's a good point. I mean, B&T are totally justified in not wanting Butch around Carly, but...Butch is Tyler's dad, and the whole extended family has demonstrated their lack of boundaries before so...I kind of feel like B&T were tempting fate by bringing Carly in the first place?

 

Even if C&T didn't tell them Butch would be there, why wouldn't you assume the father of the groom would attend the wedding? Was he released from prison earlier than expected and no one relayed that to B&T?

 

ETA:

 

Question: didn't B&T live closer to the Michigan area when they adopted Carly, and then book it to one of the Carolinas within a year? I wonder why...

 

Not sure where they lived originally, but they always were a plane ride away.

Edited January 21, 2016 by Tatum

[truelovekiss]

Even if C&T didn't tell them Butch would be there, why wouldn't you assume the father of the groom would attend the wedding? Was he released from prison earlier than expected and no one relayed that to B&T?

In Brandon and Theresa's defense, betting that Butch isn't going to show up to something for his kids has been a safe bet, in the past. He wasn't there for graduation, Carly's birth, and plenty of other things before the cameras started rolling. Whether it was because he was locked up or fucked up varied. But I do agree with you, if they were really that uncomfortable with it, then they shouldn't have gone. (I wouldn't have.) I think that now they're aware of the massive Pandora's box they've opened by exchanging phone numbers, addresses, etc and just being more familiar with each other. They've established a precedent that now they can contact each other directly instead of using mediation. While that might sound good, it's going to make it harder for Brandon and Theresa to make them back off.

ETA:

Not sure where they lived originally, but they always were a plane ride away.

Thank you for clearing that up! For some reason I had it in my head that they lived a few hours away, and then moved across the country which caused Catelynn and Tyler to complain about how they took Carly so far away from them.

[Tatum]

 

He wasn't there for graduation, Carly's birth, and plenty of other things before the cameras started rolling

 

True, but none of those events featured an open bar. OK, just kidding (sort of).

 

ETA:

 

Thank you for clearing that up! For some reason I had it in my head that they lived a few hours away, and then moved across the country which caused Catelynn and Tyler to complain about how they took Carly so far away from them.

 

I think they always lived far away, however, I do recall an early episode where Tyler was bitching he did not know their address or even the town they lived in, and they did not know B&T's last name. All mail was routed through Dawn. I am not sure if B&T ever provided their personal address (even a year or two later the mail was still going through Dawn), but fan pages tracked down Brandon's linked in page and posted his last name and place of work. Once his last name was published, a lot more information was available.

 

B&T did give Cate (and possibly Tyler) their personal phone number, but Dawn strongly encouraged C&T to still use letters and the mail as a primary method of communication. I don't know if it was overtly said, or just assumed, that C&T should not share that number with their extended families.

Edited January 21, 2016 by Tatum

[ghoulina]

That's a good point. I mean, B&T are totally justified in not wanting Butch around Carly, but...Butch is Tyler's dad, and the whole extended family has demonstrated their lack of boundaries before so...I kind of feel like B&T were tempting fate by bringing Carly in the first place?

Even if C&T didn't tell them Butch would be there, why wouldn't you assume the father of the groom would attend the wedding? Was he released from prison earlier than expected and no one relayed that to B&T?

 

I think Butch got out relatively soon, in relation to the wedding. I think he was released around Aug 6, and the wedding was the 22nd. I have no idea if he was released earlier than expected, but it might be the case that B&T had no idea if/when he was going to get out prison. Given the way Catelynn seemed nervous to talk to them about Butch, I don't imagine they keep them very apprised of his comings and goings. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

If Carly went to the wedding how did they keep Butch from meeting her? I'm really confused by this. Did they just run every time Butch got near them?

 

Well, that's easy enough...just join the stampede.

[Reghan]

As someone who was adopted and knows her birth mom, I'm glad I know her. I'm not close with her or anything, but I am glad I have the option to contact her if I ever have a question or want to speak with her. Nova may want to know Carly when she's older. My birth mother has a child and she's only 6 or 7. I'm not quite sure. But if she ever wants to know me, I'm open to it. I don't think they should close the adoption. My parents were open and honest with me and I'm grateful for this. I think Carly should not be closed off from knowing her family history. 

[ghoulina]

I don't think Carly should be closed off from knowing her history, or even knowing them. Not entirely. Given what we've seen of B&T, I imagine they're the type to always be upfront about the entire thing. However, I think there are varying degrees of an "open adoption", and this one might be proving to be a little too "open", IMO. Catelynn does not seem to be handling it well. She  appears to get really upset before and after seeing Carly. I think having another kid has made it even harder. They are keeping this one, and she probably imagines all the time what it would be like if they had kept Carly and were raising sisters.

 

I just think having B&T AND Carly so involved in their lives is getting to her. IMO, the best solution would be a yearly update with pictures and maybe they could send Carly a present for her birthday. No yearly meet-ups. No phone calls and texts. Not only is it making it harder for Catelynn to move on, it's making Tyler increasingly douchey about the entire situation - thinking he can manipulate them and throw out ultimatums. 

 

It might have been better to keep a much larger distance, give the kids chance to actually grieve and heal from what they went through, and increase contact later in life, when Carly was older and could have more say in matters. 

 

This is all coming from someone who has ZERO adoption experience, on either end. But I'm just going on what I see. 

[CofCinci]

Teresa and Brandon need to close this adoption. I am actually surprised that went to that wedding. None of this is good for Carly. And it isn't good for Cate.

They should, but they won't.  B&T received another child very quickly from Bethany in exchange for playing nice.  They make the post-adoption relationship look peachy, allowing for Bethany to exploit more poor young mothers.

 

Dawn and her dual relationship with C&T should result in sanctions against her social work license.

[leighroda]

I said it before, but I just don't think I can say 100% whether I'm pro open or closed adoptions... I think it fully depends on the individuals involved. There are lots of cases where open adoption works great, but I don't believe this is one of them. It's clearly taking an emotional toll on Catelynn, and I don't think that's a weakness or anything, on the contrary I think it's a strength, she strikes me as somone who when she loves someone she is all in, and I think that is great, I feel like it's clear she loves the people in her life and she's somone who if she were your friend you could count on, unfortunately in this case her love is working against her because it's not 100% appropriate in the relationship with Carly... Not to say she can't love her, but the relationship definitely needs stronger boundaries in my opinion.

As much as I usually side with Brandon and Teresa, I kinda feel like they tempted fate by bringing Carly to the wedding, I'm willing to bet they were not aware Butch was out of prison, and would be at the wedding... But in my opinion, he isn't the only person I would have wanted to keep Carly away from... I really don't see it being beneficial for Carly to meet anyone out of C&T's immediate family, meaning them and Nova.

[Darknight]

So checked out Tyler social nedia. There are girls literally throwing themselves at him and telling him they want to fuck him. Wonder how Catelynn feels

[NikSac]

As much as I usually side with Brandon and Teresa, I kinda feel like they tempted fate by bringing Carly to the wedding, I'm willing to bet they were not aware Butch was out of prison, and would be at the wedding... But in my opinion, he isn't the only person I would have wanted to keep Carly away from... I really don't see it being beneficial for Carly to meet anyone out of C&T's immediate family, meaning them and Nova.

 

Same here. I don't know how their relationship is outside of the show, but from what we see on the show it seems weird, confusing, and inappropriate for them to be at the wedding - whether or not Butch was there. Does Carly think of Cate and Tyler as some distant Aunt and Uncle that she sees once in awhile?  (not actually Aunt/Uncle, but that level of closeness,  even if she's been told they are her birth parents?).  Or does she think of them the way Cate and Tyler seem to think of themselves, as her parents?

 

ETA: not to mention, all these total strangers probably approaching her or being overly friendly to her at the wedding - who did she think they were? 

Edited January 25, 2016 by NikSac

[NikSac]

So checked out Tyler social nedia. There are girls literally throwing themselves at him and telling him they want to fuck him. Wonder how Catelynn feels

 

Ew. Seriously? Why?  Because he's married now?  He looked so cute with that nasty stripper? 

 

I was going to say hope Catelynn's ignoring it, but you know she isn't and Tyler wouldn't let her even if she tried. I bet it's inflating his ego immensely and tearing her already messed up self esteem down even more.

[Reghan]

I mean, I knew my birth mom when I was young. I visited her more than once a year until I was about 8 or so and only because we moved too far to continue on. Once a year isn't a bad thing. I think Cate will move on as they all get older. She'll always wonder if she made the right choice, that's just part of adoption. Just as I will always wonder what my life would've been like if I wasn't adopted. 

[NikSac]

I mean, I knew my birth mom when I was young. I visited her more than once a year until I was about 8 or so and only because we moved too far to continue on. Once a year isn't a bad thing. I think Cate will move on as they all get older. She'll always wonder if she made the right choice, that's just part of adoption. Just as I will always wonder what my life would've been like if I wasn't adopted. 

 

Thanks for your perspective. I really appreciate it!  I've known people who were adopted but never in this kind of situation. I can see where it's natural to wonder "what might've been."

[Reghan]

I mean hell, I even had a different name. I was adopted at 16 months. My middle name is Alexis which was my first name when I was born. Kind of weird to think about different name, different family, different life.

[truelovekiss]

So checked out Tyler social nedia. There are girls literally throwing themselves at him and telling him they want to fuck him. Wonder how Catelynn feels

My first thought was "that's gross."

Second thought, "poor Catelynn."

Third thought, "girls need to stop running around being thirsty as fuck. It's just going to inflate his ego."

Final thought, "shut up, Tyler."

[Elizabeth9]

My thoughts went to "Catfish." Maybe Tyler is creating fake accounts to compliment himself.

[ghoulina]

I sooo want Tyler to get Catfished and exposed and drug through the mud. Please let it happen!

[Febgirl]

Question, and forgive me if I missed it.  Is Nick April's kid by Butch, or someone else's?  It's hard to keep track!

[truelovekiss]

Question, and forgive me if I missed it. Is Nick April's kid by Butch, or someone else's? It's hard to keep track!

Nick was farhered by some other charming fellow. Butch has referred to Nick as his stepson. It is confusing though, because he showed more enthusiasm for seeing Nick again than he did about Amber's kids. I suppose it was sweet, but Butch is just such a dirt bag, I don't really get why Amber and Tyler are so insistent that he have a relationship with their kids.

[FozzyBear]

Butch is...Butch is a con. That's my answer to almost every "why?" question about Butch. He's a con, and not a horrible one either. When he's sober and in control of himself he reads people pretty well. It's interesting watching him get out of prison this time. He's no longer a young man by any standard and he seems to know that "making something of his life" is a long dead proposition. He's a 50 something ex-con addict on patrol with few skills. He NEEDS Tyler, and especially Tyler's money, this time around. It's interesting to watch the way he watches Tayler and Cait. He's very aware of their moods and what they want to hear. I can see the wheels turning. Doting Grandfather = $$$$$$$. He'll play the part until he bleeds them dry.

[truelovekiss]

Butch is...Butch is a con. That's my answer to almost every "why?" question about Butch. He's a con, and not a horrible one either. When he's sober and in control of himself he reads people pretty well. It's interesting watching him get out of prison this time. He's no longer a young man by any standard and he seems to know that "making something of his life" is a long dead proposition. He's a 50 something ex-con addict on patrol with few skills. He NEEDS Tyler, and especially Tyler's money, this time around. It's interesting to watch the way he watches Tayler and Cait. He's very aware of their moods and what they want to hear. I can see the wheels turning. Doting Grandfather = $$$$$$$. He'll play the part until he bleeds them dry.

Exactly. Very good point. And as far as the doting grandfather role goes, it's easy to do for Carly, since she's not even there. All he has to do is talk about her when prompted. As far as Amber's kids go, the cameras don't follow them. They follow Nova. They're zoomed in on Nova. So if Butch is by Nova, he's at the center of attention. It's really actually quite sad seeing Tyler talk about how much better he is. As much as he talks about how he's used to Butch's screw ups, and he doesn't expect anything from him, he really is just a kid who wants his dad to give a shit about him.

On a side note about Nick, it's weird how he seems to have latched onto his former step dad. How old is he, 10? Butch would have been in jail since he was 6. Before that, he was an addict, drunken douchebag that beat the shit out of his mother. But when Butch came home, there goes Nick leaping in there for a hug.

Also, do we know how many siblings Catelynn and Tyler each have? Tyler has Amber, and I'm confident that they're Kim's only 2. But what are the odds that Butch had some more running around? And Catelynn has Nick From April, and River from her Dad. Plus one random sister tgat lived with her and Tyler on Being Catelynn. Any more?

[Darknight]

Butch is a deadbeat. He chose drugs and other things over his children for years. I don't think he'll ever change.

[FozzyBear]

I always had my suspicions that part of the reason Butch and April were so dead set on Cait keeping Carley was that she was living with them and if she kept the baby she could have applied for benefits and programs and they could have talked her out of her check every month. I don't believe in the myth of the welfare queen and I don't think people on welfare game the system any more than middle class do, but Butch and April are users. They will bleed their kids dry any chance they get. Before it would have been government assistance, now it's MTV money. I have no doubt Cait and Tyler fund 100% of both Butch and April's lives.

[Tatum]

I always had my suspicions that part of the reason Butch and April were so dead set on Cait keeping Carley was that she was living with them and if she kept the baby she could have applied for benefits and programs and they could have talked her out of her check every month. I don't believe in the myth of the welfare queen and I don't think people on welfare game the system any more than middle class do, but Butch and April are users. They will bleed their kids dry any chance they get. Before it would have been government assistance, now it's MTV money. I have no doubt Cait and Tyler fund 100% of both Butch and April's lives.

 

Could be. I still get rage-y when I think of when Butch told Tyler he didn't "man up" by keeping Carly, and how he (Butch) would NEVER have given his own baby away. Sure Butch, you'd neglect him, then altogether abandon him while you do a few stints in jail, knock his mother around- but give him the opportunity to be raised by people who love him and provide stability? Sure, THAT'S a great place to draw the line. I hate Butch. I find nothing about him even mildly entertaining.

[truelovekiss]

Just a random little aside: Butch stayed out in the camper, and Nick stayed with him. Can I just ask again, what is it with Nick just gravitating to this jerk who isn't his dad? He was in jail for the last 4 years, and I get that he was Nick's stepdad for most of his life, but it hardly seems like it was a very good time. They lived in near poverty, Butch was on drugs and beating the crap out of Nick's mother.

[SnarkKitty]

Anybody is better than nobody?

[lilmarysunshine]

These people .... early 20 somethings who don't work and can't handle one baby?  I was glad to see Kim on Tyler about .... you know ..... getting a job. But why on earth are they all entertaining this idea that Tyler is a "writer?"  Who would buy the crap he writes?  I thought he was going to be an actor?

[EuropeanGirl]

This new episode made me think that they had Nova too early. Yes, they finished their high school, but wasn't the whole point about educating and finding themselves and then having a kid? I mean, that was the reason they have put Carly for adoption, right? I guess half way on making that come true they changed their mind. This will sound mean, but I bet Tyler doesn't help with Nova at all. No wonder Cate gave her to her mother for babysitting, she was doing everything and Tyler just sat on his behind and probably read news and posts about himself! Go Kim for putting him on display for not having a vocation!

[Pdxblonde]

I think it's ridiculous that they even had another child BEFORE completing their education. If they can't seem to find the drive and energy to go to school when they had NO responsibilities, what is going to make them go to school now? The MTV gravy train ending? Nope. Not these two.

 

Does Kim, Tyler's mom, work for the postal service? It looked like she had a postal uniform on and they had the mail emblem covered up. Has it been mentioned before? Just wondering. If so, at least **someone** in that family has a steady, with-benefits job/career.

[qtpye]

So checked out Tyler social nedia. There are girls literally throwing themselves at him and telling him they want to fuck him. Wonder how Catelynn feels

 

 

They are probably are really guys who have a strange fetish for grown men who look and act like they are sixteen. 

[gunderda]

I think Butch is the only 'dad' that Nick has known.  

 

I mean look at Tyler, Butch was a total fuck up Tyler's entire life and he still gives him unconditional love. 

Nick is just doing the same thing.  I wouldn't be surprised if April went and took Nick to see Butch in prison/jail.

 

I think if Carly's parents were so worried about Butch being at the wedding then they would have asked beforehand.  And it was never stated that they didn't want Butch near Carly.  Theresa said SHE didn't want to meet Butch because of how he treated Caitlynn. 

But in the end it's all heresay because we didn't hear it come from Theresa's mouth.  

 

I'm also curious as to what Carly's parents tell her about Caitlynn and Tyler.  Are they considered a good aunt/uncle?  Does she knows they are her bio parents? I think from Carly requesting a dance with Tyler it's clear that they have a very close relationship even if they only get to see each other once a year. 

[GreatKazu]

 

Does Kim, Tyler's mom, work for the postal service? It looked like she had a postal uniform on and they had the mail emblem covered up. Has it been mentioned before? Just wondering. If so, at least **someone** in that family has a steady, with-benefits job/career.

She works for the post office.

 

I don't believe Cate has PPD. She just now has a new excuse to explain away her laziness.

[pakalolo]

These people .... early 20 somethings who don't work and can't handle one baby?  I was glad to see Kim on Tyler about .... you know ..... getting a job. But why on earth are they all entertaining this idea that Tyler is a "writer?"  Who would buy the crap he writes?  I thought he was going to be an actor?

I could have sworn I read something here that came from his Twitter about him buying a house in New Orleans and training with some older guy to be an actor, am I mistaken?

[ginger90]

I could have sworn I read something here that came from his Twitter about him buying a house in New Orleans and training with some older guy to be an actor, am I mistaken?

That was a plan, lol! Believe it or not, that was in 2012. Time sure does fly!

[Direwolf]

Tyler is too busy now to concern himself with being an actor. He is writing not one, but two books!

[StatisticalOutlier]

I think it's ridiculous that they even had another child BEFORE completing their education.

 

Sadly, I think they HAD completed their education.

 

 

Does Kim, Tyler's mom, work for the postal service? It looked like she had a postal uniform on and they had the mail emblem covered up. Has it been mentioned before? Just wondering. If so, at least **someone** in that family has a steady, with-benefits job/career.

 

Sadly, it's with the post office, and we know what direction that's headed.  At least she's old enough that it'll probably outlast her, but maybe not by much.

[ktwo]

I could have sworn I read something here that came from his Twitter about him buying a house in New Orleans and training with some older guy to be an actor, am I mistaken?

I just remembered that while reading the episode thread. We made fun of him here for that, but if they had settled down there they would be in an affordable area and away from their massively dysfunctional family, which would be an improvement.

There wouldn't be anyone to pawn baby Nova off on, though. I'm now just as firmly convinced that Tyler and Cate had that baby for the show to have a storyline, just like Jenelle and Nipples did. I never thought I would put Cate on Jenelle's level, but there she is.

[FozzyBear]

I just remembered that while reading the episode thread. We made fun of him here for that, but if they had settled down there they would be in an affordable area and away from their massively dysfunctional family, which would be an improvement.

There wouldn't be anyone to pawn baby Nova off on, though. I'm now just as firmly convinced that Tyler and Cate had that baby for the show to have a storyline, just like Jenelle and Nipples did. I never thought I would put Cate on Jenelle's level, but there she is.

I was actually really pulling for them to move (either together or separately), even someplace ridiculous. Just to get out. As much as he came across like a total fucking asshole, I understood what Tyler meant about his environment not being inspiring. I grew up in Central CA and the little towns around the cities are kind of like that. Limited access to education, jobs, culture, anything. People do get into this trap of not really doing anything. I bet Tyler and Cait have very little experience with adults doing things on purpose. Even Tyler's mom, who seems more together, has the kind of life that sort of happens to you when you never had a plan. Nobody in their family ever does anything (start families, get jobs, live somewhere) on purpose. It's all sort of getting through the day. Tyler wants more, which I think is good even though he's a jerk about it. Unfortunately Cait doesn't, and for whatever reason they can't let each other go. At this point if Tyler wants a different life he's going to have to do the work for both of them and I don't think he's capable of that.

[GreatKazu]

These people .... early 20 somethings who don't work and can't handle one baby?  I was glad to see Kim on Tyler about .... you know ..... getting a job. But why on earth are they all entertaining this idea that Tyler is a "writer?" 

No shit. I would have laughed my ass off if I was being told by Tyler that he wanted to write books. I would have reminded him of what he said a few years ago about him saying Cate better have some goals and a career planned because if she didn't he couldn't be with someone who had nothing going on. Now, that could also mean he had hoped Cate would be the breadwinner and she would take care of the both of them as he sits at home being a blogger aka watching porn.

 

TyTy is so impulsive and just goes with whatever feeling he has for the day. HIs long-term goals are to never conform to society's idea of what it means to be a full-time employee at some job while supporting one's family.

[lilmarysunshine]

I was actually really pulling for them to move (either together or separately), even someplace ridiculous. Just to get out. As much as he came across like a total fucking asshole, I understood what Tyler meant about his environment not being inspiring. I grew up in Central CA and the little towns around the cities are kind of like that. Limited access to education, jobs, culture, anything. People do get into this trap of not really doing anything. I bet Tyler and Cait have very little experience with adults doing things on purpose. Even Tyler's mom, who seems more together, has the kind of life that sort of happens to you when you never had a plan. Nobody in their family ever does anything (start families, get jobs, live somewhere) on purpose. It's all sort of getting through the day. Tyler wants more, which I think is good even though he's a jerk about it. Unfortunately Cait doesn't, and for whatever reason they can't let each other go. At this point if Tyler wants a different life he's going to have to do the work for both of them and I don't think he's capable of that.

He likes the idea of wanting "more" because he's delusional. He thinks things will just come to him because he's Tyler and they gave up Carly and I guess....they sort of did.

 

But I know lots of people that many might think "settled" (I personally don't because I just think some people are content with the familiar) by not leaving their small towns or going beyond high school. But every single one of them has a job and has supported themselves and their families but that kind of lifestyle is too pedestrian for these two, I guess.

 

I used to not actively dislike them, especially Catelynn. But I'm starting to. Seriously .... I was almost twice her age with 3 kids 5 and under and a husband who worked a lot and traveled some and I managed without pawning my kid off on someone 3-4 days a week. (And I might add leaving her with someone who was a terrible mother.)

[ghoulina]

I agree. I've long been annoyed with Tyler, but I've still been rooting for Catelynn. This last episode has me really disappointed in her. I'm a SAHM to three kids, ages 4-7. And I also homeschool them. We live an hour out in the country, so not only does that add 2 hours onto my husband's already long work day (he's a construction superintendent - I guess he "conformed"), but that also means there's no nearby help. I do it all, almost all of the time. So I really don't want to hear about it from this chic who has ONE kid and another full-time parent at home. She shouldn't need several nights a week away from her kid! 

 

Now, if it really is PPD, that's a whole other matter. That has nothing to do with your situation, and everything do you with your hormones, chemicals in the brain, etc. But, honestly, while I'm no doctor, I just don't see that here. It just seems like Catelynn is as lazy as ever. 

 

What really bothers me is that they gave up Carly because they admitted they weren't ready to be parents. They wanted her to have a better life than they could give. But it hurt them, it really stung. And now they've had a chance to parent a child, and they are not doing things all that much differently than they probably would have the first time around! They don't seem to be working hard to give Nova that great life they couldn't give Carly. They just lounge around all day, smoking, eating, and playing on the internet. They pawn their kid off several days a week, and not even to go to school or pursue a career. Just to.....I don't know what. What kind of example are they setting? They're just going to raise another lazy, unmotivated schlub of a human being. 

 

It's just really really disappointing. 

[MargeGunderson]

I'm guessing this was brought up when Catelynn got pregnant; if so I'll repeat it - I think she got pregnant on purpose, so that Tyler would marry her and they could have "another" child. I'm not so sure either of really gave a lot of thought about what it really means to have a child and how they would have to change their lives. Now that they have a daughter they actually have to take care of it seems to have come as a surprise to them. That poor child - she's going to be unfavorably compared to perfect Carly for a long time.

[qtpye]

I agree.  I do not think neither one of them really wanted another child.  Cate had the baby, so Ty would marry her, and Ty wanted the baby so they could stay on the show.  

 

Even he was beginning to realize how lame their segments were.  Tyler knew they could not stay on Teen Mom forever just talking about missing Carly.  They now have Nova, so they can have cute little baby segments with her on camera.

 

The other girls have children to interact with, so Tyler knew he was particularly vulnerable to being replaced, because he was not a Teen Mom and they had no children.  He is just a baby daddy who gave his kid up for adoption many years ago.  Nova is a desperate attempt to stay relevant.

 

That is why I laugh when this show claims to lower the Teen Pregnancy rates.  The people on this show get amazing opportunities  (like getting a multiple book deal with a publisher, even with little education and/or training), just because they got knocked up young.

 

Edited to add: I am not certain if Tyler has a book deal.  However, I would not be surprised to find out at the end of the season that his books are available at certain bookstore and that he will be making the rounds doing signings.  The books themselves will be ghost written by someone else.

Edited February 5, 2016 by qtpye

[Pdxblonde]

Cate got pregnant so Ty would marry her, just like Maci got pregnant so Taylor would marry her....

[FozzyBear]

I'm not on Tyler's side or anything. I actually think he's a huge asshole that make me want to smack him every time he talks. HOWEVER, the longer they are on TV, the less I see their dynamic as Tyler=bad/Caitlynn=good. This season especially it seems like Cait is becoming very skilled at emotional manipulation. Jerk he may be, when you get right down to it they are living the life Cait always wanted, not him. A little house, and a little family, and a big wedding, and being Mrs Balltiera; that's Cait's dream, not Tyler's. I'm not saying it's not 100% Tyler's fault for not leaving when he had the chance...but Cait is getting pretty good at getting what she wants.

[qtpye]

That's probably more to do with her holding the purse strings then emotional manipulation.  If Tyler leaves Cate, he had no reason to be on the show and will lose a lot of fan girl adoration, because he is no longer the "good guy".

 

Cate is certainly no angel.  However, as laughable as Tyler's endeavors are, at least he has some thought to doing other things.  Cate doe not seems to have any ambitions, beyond the M.R.S degree.

 

Again, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a wife and mother.  It just seems like she only became a mother solely to get that wedding, not because she wanted the child.