Catelynn (and Tyler)

[GreatKazu]

49 minutes ago, poopchute said:

But if she can buy a pig she can buy a crock pot. And if she doesn't want to go to the store, many stores offer grocery delivery now. Or at least you can order online and then pick it up and they bring it to your car. That's what I do now because I'm not going grocery shopping with a 4 month old. It's so, so easy and it costs $6.   If she's doing weight watchers she must be buying groceries somehow?

I don't think Cate is actually doing Weight Watchers. The only weight watchers going on in that dirty house is the weight Cate and Tyler are putting on while Tyler watches and mentions how big Cate is getting.

[toodywoody]

19 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

I agree. Don't crawl away. Tyler is an ass. That does not mean Cate's behavior should be excused.

It is definitely exhausting dealing with someone who has such a problem, but fails to do anything to help themselves. I dealt with chronic back issues and I tried everything under the sun to help with the pain. I didn't want to be on the couch or lying in bed. When I would hear of something new or that might help me, there I was making phone calls to make an appointment. I tried chiropractors, physical therapy, pool therapy, all kinds of therapy. I did several procedures. I had surgeries. My point is, I really wanted relief. I wanted to feel better. I was willing to walk the ends of this planet to find anyone who could help me. It wasn't going to get done unless I did something about it. Cate is not wanting help, plain and simple. She wants to be looked upon as a victim and as was mentioned here, it gives her an excuse. 

I understand completely about the back pain. My back is all kinds of screwed up and I can't do the things I use to and really had to slow down. It is a constant struggle to just clean the cat box and it frustrates me at times because I just want to feel better. 

With that in mind I understand Cate wanting to feel better but she isn't helping with not taking baby steps to just do one thing towards getting better. The doctor tells her the weed counteracts heranti-depressants and so she continues smoking weed. She wants to lose weight but she continues to eat a big over filled plate of Chinese food. She wants people to think she is trying but from everything I see, she isn't. At least Amber is trying to cut down her portion sizes and eating nasty replacement bars and shakes. My point is an effort, even if it's baby steps and just one tiny thing is an effort and I don't see anything besides her going to rehab as an effort. It takes more than going to rehab you kick a habit, it takes a change in lifestyle and habits and I know it's hard, but tiny steps lead into bigger steps and changes. 

[SPLAIN]

1 hour ago, poopchute said:

But if she can buy a pig she can buy a crock pot. And if she doesn't want to go to the store, many stores offer grocery delivery now. Or at least you can order online and then pick it up and they bring it to your car. That's what I do now because I'm not going grocery shopping with a 4 month old. It's so, so easy and it costs $6.   If she's doing weight watchers she must be buying groceries somehow?

I believe Cate did Weight Watchers much like she followed the advice at the rehab center - she ignored it after a while. What little effort she put into WW was simply to buy fast food and then exclaim how many points it is. She wasn't buying actual WW food nor was she following the plan correctly.

As for crock pot? That is far too much work for Mrs. Baltierra. It's a crock! Remove the crock and what you have left is pot. Pot is the only thing in that home that is being utilized.

1 hour ago, heatherchandler said:

When I look at both Nova and Carly, it makes me think that they look so much like both of their parents, I start to think Cate and Tyler look alike!

 

I think they were giggling like that because they were being "sneaky" and covering the camera.  I don't think they were giggling for the pot.  I just do not believe she smokes crack, or meth. 

 

There is a reason chronic depression has such a stigma, and it is because the act of getting help is extremely difficult for the person suffering from the disease.  You have chronic back pain, but not a mental illness.  Your brain still works properly, so you look up doctors, and do what you have to do.  Depression is so often mistaken for laziness.  And maybe she is also a little lazy, too, and super low-energy.  It is chemical, not a personal failing.

People who suffer from depression lack the ability to get help.  It is so absolutely awful, I really wish people understood how difficult simple everyday activities are for someone with depression.  It is a vicious circle, depression makes you want to hide under the covers... hiding under the covers and getting nothing done makes you more depressed.  I am sure she wants to feel better, too, but it is so hard to crawl out of the hole.  

I know about the stigma.  I also know about the stigma that plagues addiction and other diseases. I work at a mental health facility. I see so many true sufferers of addiction, clinical depression, and other mental health issues. What I don't see with these people is their ability to turn on and off their affliction the way Cate seems to be doing.

I don't follow her or anyone else on this show on social media, but I bet if I took a good look at her social media pages, I would not find posts where she mentions how she had an anxiety attack while on vacation. I would bet big money I wouldn't see a post where she comments how she had to miss a vacation because her depression was in full swing. I sure as hell bet she isn't posting photos of herself lying on a couch in a hotel room or at the cabin on the lake as she comments how her depression is keeping her from having any fun.  I wonder if she had an anxiety attack or was dealing with her depression at Maci's wedding or even her sister's wedding back in May? I am sure she would have posted about it if she did. How lucky she is to not have those things plague her when she is having so much fun! /sarcasm

Quote

 You have chronic back pain, but not a mental illness.  Your brain still works properly, so you look up doctors, and do what you have to do.

Sometimes with chronic pain, your brain isn't always working on par. I dealt with depression because of my chronic pain. Sometimes those things go hand in hand. I don't want to bore anyone with my long-winded story of pain and depression.

Back to Cate. She obviously has lot of moments of clarity and the ability to function going by how her social life is outside of the show. What keeps her from keeping an appointment with a professional to help her with the ailments she is constantly bringing up on the show? What keeps this young lady, who clearly can function long enough to go on extended vacations without any stress or anxiety, from making the baby step of starting after care therapy? What keeps Cate from making a phone call? She lives with her phone being in her hand all day long. It is her actions, and lack thereof, that lead me to question her. That is her doing, not mine.

[heatherchandler]

I believe she did mention that she had an anxiety attack when they were on their honeymoon.

I also think that depression never looks just one way to the outside world.  It can look like laziness, or sadness or boredom or anger.  Many people are able to work and go on vacation and live life while suffering from depression.  Sometimes it comes in waves, sometimes a person can appear to be functioning normally, and then fall apart very quickly.  

The other side of this coin is that Cate grew up without ANY role models.  She has nothing on which to base normal life.  She grew up without any parental guidance, and also living life in a state of terror.  She was traumatized on a daily basis by her crack-addicted mother.  I believe her formative years were spent just trying to not totally break.  

She never learned how normal, functioning people deal with life.  She may truly not know how to go about helping herself.  She has had outside help, and she is obviously not doing what they advised her to do, and maybe she doesn't realize that it would actually behoove her to do such things.  

[LBL]

4 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

II have an adult child who is diabetic. I have never nagged her about her health. I have calmly given her my opinionr and reminded her about some of the things she eats or drinks and how it can affect her in the long run. She is an adult. She told me she knows she should not ingest certain things. That is all I can do. I don't believe in shaming or nagging a loved one about their health. Reminding her how she shouldn't have that donut or slice of cake is something I don't do and it shouldn't be done. It doesn't get the results one might think they will get. The same goes for an addiction. I have had to deal with a few people in my life who suffered from addiction. Crying, yelling, shaming, it doesn't work. Laying out boundaries and sticking to those boundaries is what worked for me.

As for Tyler, he has a right to let Cate know how her lack of motivation or her not taking a pro-active approach to her problems is affecting their relationship. The thing that kills me is, he is not doing anything pro-active in his life. He is doing the same thing she is such as eating fast food, not seeking employment, not doing anything outside of their house such as engaging with their daughter by taking her places. The few times they do things outside of the house, it is about going to Comic Con, going on vacations, or partying with friends. It is like one addict shaming another addict. I am not hearing him say "We have problems and I want us to work on those problems."

If Tyler is not happy in the relationship, then he needs to lay out the boundary that he is concerned about Cate and how he is worried about her falling back into the same pattern. He would then have to let her know that if she continues to ignore her aftercare instructions and doesn't become pro-active, he is going to remove himself from the situation.

See, what bothers me is these two then go to their social media pages and post the shit like what I posted above. Cate has no fucks to give. She is telling the viewers through her tweets that we should not believe what we watch. She is tweeting that they have great communication. I guess she is okay with her spouse talking to her about being a heifer, a log, and how sick he is of her saying she is bored. Then, you have Tyler who tweets she can go ahead and eat all the food she wants. They will eat quesadillas together. They will get fat together. They get weed cards and continue to live their sloth lifestyle.

Okay Tyler. Then STFU about watching your wife doing nothing. STFU about her not seeking aftercare treatment. STFU Tyler about everrrrrrrything! You two sit and eat all the damn food you want and grow fat together. Smoke all the damn weed you want. I have no fucks to give. I don't care. I shed no tears for either one of you. Going by real-time info, you two are nowhere on your way to no place. I will root for Butch and Nova.

I think if you love someone and are invested in there life then you have a responsibility to speak up when they are doing something damaging to there health. There is a difference in a responsible diabetic who is actually taking care of themselves and someone who is neglecting to the point of serious issues. But let's say your child is in the hospital with ketoacidosis for the second time in a month, at that point you might start talking to them about diet changes they need to make. We aren't talking about 10lbs we are talking about 100lbs. (The diabetic comparison of an amputation [just an example] ) I don't know maybe not I don't have I diabetic child but I would think that I would start bringing it up when I see bad choices being made. I wonder how many of my patients over the years may still have there eyesight, lower limbs, or kidney function had they had someone saying don't you eat that cake lol! Nagging doesn't work for everyone but holding them accountable for there diet does help allot of people. It's the same reason doctors ask patients to keep a food diary. But that's not really what I was trying to relay by the diabetic example. What I was trying to do is to get people to look at it from health standpoint. She has a disease, obesity, and reminding her when she's over eating shouldn't be considered "fat shaming". Which I've read over and over again on this thread. Let's say she has lung cancer and he was making comments when he saw her smoking. Then everyone would think oh he just cares about her and wants her to get better. Well she is obese and him saying wow your really endulging is the same thing. It shouldn't be looked at as "verbal abuse" another term I've read about his statements. I don't think he cares about what she looks like as much as he cares about the way she feels about herself. She's constantly complaining about being overweight and wanting to lose weight. It would be different if she didn't always say she's trying to lose weight. She's told him she has a goal that she wants to achieve and all he is doing is supporting her to achieve that goal of losing weight. His nagging isn't working obviously, but I don't think he has the intellect to understand that it's not working. I think if she was like you know what this is my body it's not the healthiest but I'm happy and I'm done trying to lose weight he would probably not bring it up again. My husband has wanted to lose 20 lbs for two years. Every morning when he puts on his pants he puts himself down and bitches about the 20lbs he has to lose, and it drives me absolutely insane because he goes back for seconds every meal, drinks soft drinks several times a week, and a beer with every meal we eat out. I don't care about the 20lbs I care about hearing him every morning before work bitching about his pants and needing to lose 20lbs. I tell him all the time get over the number or change something about his habits. But let's get real here for a second. She doesn't want to lose the weight she's saying it because she thinks it what he wants to hear. Or at least she didn't want to lose it enough to do anything about it. She's lazy! Sorry I said it. The only time she plays the depression anxiety card is when she doesn't want to do something. She went to rehab after Tyler put his foot down and said that something has to change get up and take care of your daughter and this stupid pig you spent 3000$ on. He held her feet to the flames and then all of the sudden she had to leave for a month for "treatment". The problem is that she doesn't want to do anything about anything whether it's her weight, her daughter, her pets! 

I agree with you 100% about where he thinks she needs to change when he's a lazy turd himself. It's not like he's out there busting it every day to make sure they have a good life when the money runs out. But for some reason Caitlyn doesn't seem to have a problem with it.  But with her laying in the bed all day I guess it makes it easy for him to focus on her being the problem and not address the fact he's doing the same thing as her just out of bed. They have a codependent relationship and it's not healthy. Neither of them are actually trying to do anything other than lay around smoke pot and live off there MTV paycheck, but who would want to watch that? They have to have some issue they are working on or everyone would see them for what they are. Your whole last paragraph was absolute perfection lol! I completely agree stfu Tyler butch and nova all the way lol.

[ghoulina]

16 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

I believe she did mention that she had an anxiety attack when they were on their honeymoon.

I also think that depression never looks just one way to the outside world.  It can look like laziness, or sadness or boredom or anger.  Many people are able to work and go on vacation and live life while suffering from depression.  Sometimes it comes in waves, sometimes a person can appear to be functioning normally, and then fall apart very quickly.  

This is very true. I'd never say, "Well, *I* have depression and I'm able to ____ " because it's so different for everyone. I am not comfortable coming down hard on whether she's depressed or not, because I'm not in her head, or even in her life. It's possible that she's both depressed AND a lazy slob. I will say, the more I watch her, the more she seems like a manic depressive, who cycles strongly on the depression side. My step father was bi-polar. Is bi-polar. (He's just not my step-dad anymore.) When he was manic, he would do really crazy things, like buy a 10 lb bag of Runts from Costco. Or head to the casino and blow a bunch of money. Stay up all night, "inventing" some type of light. But when he was depressed, he'd lay in bed all day. He lost jobs. The TV was on constantly. He couldn't do anything. 

Cate reminds me of that. The pig thing was totally manic behavior, IMO. My step-dad always got manic when we went on vacation. I don't know how that works, but he did. It was embarrassing, and also scary - because we never knew what he would do. Anyhow, that might account for Cate laying around all day, but then being able to get up and do things. I know it looks "convenient" to outsiders, but there could be a real imbalance in the brain going on there. But I'm also open to the fact that I'm totally wrong. Just sharing some perspective here. 

[poopchute]

Is she obese though? Or just fat?  She explained her weight in a previous episode as a result of "just" having a baby.  I was 207 pounds when I gave birth in June but I don't think that was a disease?

[kelseykixx]

15 minutes ago, LBL said:

I think if you love someone and are invested in there life then you have a responsibility to speak up when they are doing something damaging to there health. There is a difference in a responsible diabetic who is actually taking care of themselves and someone who is neglecting to the point of serious issues. But let's say your child is in the hospital with ketoacidosis for the second time in a month, at that point you might start talking to them about diet changes they need to make. We aren't talking about 10lbs we are talking about 100lbs. (The diabetic comparison of an amputation [just an example] ) I don't know maybe not I don't have I diabetic child but I would think that I would start bringing it up when I see bad choices being made. I wonder how many of my patients over the years may still have there eyesight, lower limbs, or kidney function had they had someone saying don't you eat that cake lol! Nagging doesn't work for everyone but holding them accountable for there diet does help allot of people. It's the same reason doctors ask patients to keep a food diary. But that's not really what I was trying to relay by the diabetic example. What I was trying to do is to get people to look at it from health standpoint. She has a disease, obesity, and reminding her when she's over eating shouldn't be considered "fat shaming". Which I've read over and over again on this thread. Let's say she has lung cancer and he was making comments when he saw her smoking. Then everyone would think oh he just cares about her and wants her to get better. Well she is obese and him saying wow your really endulging is the same thing. It shouldn't be looked at as "verbal abuse" another term I've read about his statements. I don't think he cares about what she looks like as much as he cares about the way she feels about herself. She's constantly complaining about being overweight and wanting to lose weight. It would be different if she didn't always say she's trying to lose weight. She's told him she has a goal that she wants to achieve and all he is doing is supporting her to achieve that goal of losing weight. His nagging isn't working obviously, but I don't think he has the intellect to understand that it's not working. I think if she was like you know what this is my body it's not the healthiest but I'm happy and I'm done trying to lose weight he would probably not bring it up again. My husband has wanted to lose 20 lbs for two years. Every morning when he puts on his pants he puts himself down and bitches about the 20lbs he has to lose, and it drives me absolutely insane because he goes back for seconds every meal, drinks soft drinks several times a week, and a beer with every meal we eat out. I don't care about the 20lbs I care about hearing him every morning before work bitching about his pants and needing to lose 20lbs. I tell him all the time get over the number or change something about his habits. But let's get real here for a second. She doesn't want to lose the weight she's saying it because she thinks it what he wants to hear. Or at least she didn't want to lose it enough to do anything about it. She's lazy! Sorry I said it. The only time she plays the depression anxiety card is when she doesn't want to do something. She went to rehab after Tyler put his foot down and said that something has to change get up and take care of your daughter and this stupid pig you spent 3000$ on. He held her feet to the flames and then all of the sudden she had to leave for a month for "treatment". The problem is that she doesn't want to do anything about anything whether it's her weight, her daughter, her pets! 

I agree with you 100% about where he thinks she needs to change when he's a lazy turd himself. It's not like he's out there busting it every day to make sure they have a good life when the money runs out. But for some reason Caitlyn doesn't seem to have a problem with it.  But with her laying in the bed all day I guess it makes it easy for him to focus on her being the problem and not address the fact he's doing the same thing as her just out of bed. They have a codependent relationship and it's not healthy. Neither of them are actually trying to do anything other than lay around smoke pot and live off there MTV paycheck, but who would want to watch that? They have to have some issue they are working on or everyone would see them for what they are. Your whole last paragraph was absolute perfection lol! I completely agree stfu Tyler butch and nova all the way lol.

A-fucking-men! Tyler is clearly sick of hearing about this weight she "wants" to lose so bad and at this point I think he has no idea how to address it other than making comments like "Wow you're really indulging." 

He's heard for YEARS about how badly she wants to lose X amount of weight all while watching her stuff her face with giant quesadillas and chinese food. He used to be compassionate and surprisingly supportive and helpful (i.e. when he used to propose healthy recipes) but she still resisted those positive affirmations and wouldn't eat healthier. At this point I believe he is just sick to death of hearing the same ol' same ol' and is legitimately annoyed and resentful.

[iwasish]

3 hours ago, Tatum said:

I understand depression is still largely misunderstood, with people thinking the depressed person should just shake it off or get some perspective. But the disconnect here is that Cate does have enthusiasm for some things. It seems rather convenient that she has the inclination to do fun things, but "work" tasks are what get avoided.

She was pretty chipper when she returned home from rehab.  Once she was back and realized that nothing had changed back home, she still had the same miserable  boring life as before and no nice happy surroundings with someone taking time to listen to her and be interested in her, she got "depressed "again.

She needs to get a life outside that house. Put Nova in daycare and maybe volunteer at a hospital or an old folks home, or get a job that pays and do something productive instead of moping around. Lots of us have had times in our lives when we were down. I was out of work and started sleeping late and having aches and pains and being generally miserable and uninterested in anything. I think she eats a lot also out of boredom and a full belly makes you tired so you sleep some more and waste away another few hours. It becomes a vicious cycle.  

[LBL]

35 minutes ago, poopchute said:

Is she obese though? Or just fat?  She explained her weight in a previous episode as a result of "just" having a baby.  I was 207 pounds when I gave birth in June but I don't think that was a disease?

You would be surprised at what is medically considered obese. Look up a bmi chart and it will show you what category you fall in. Anyone 100lbs over weight is actually considered morbidly obese. I'm not positive that she is 100lbs overweight to be considered morbidly obese but I would bet a million she would fall in the obese category. I read she's 5'2 inches so if she a pound over 163 she's considered obese. And no they do not use the same BMI calculator when you are pregnant so no you weren't obese, you were pregnant. And as far as the "just" had a baby thing she's saying I don't know if all doctors say the same thing but my doctor told me after a year any weight I hadn't lost would not be considered "baby weight" but that it was my new weight and losing whatever the difference was would be allot harder than what I lost naturally within the first year. I never learned that in nursing school that's just what my ob told me. Lol my mom still claims baby weighty and my brother is 33 lol!

[LBL]

@ghoulina I think you may have something there manic depressive seems like a much more accurate diagnosis. It could explain the pot smoking she may be self medicating to bring herself down from those crazy highs 

[poopchute]

56 minutes ago, LBL said:

You would be surprised at what is medically considered obese. Look up a bmi chart and it will show you what category you fall in. Anyone 100lbs over weight is actually considered morbidly obese. I'm not positive that she is 100lbs overweight to be considered morbidly obese but I would bet a million she would fall in the obese category. I read she's 5'2 inches so if she a pound over 163 she's considered obese. And no they do not use the same BMI calculator when you are pregnant so no you weren't obese, you were pregnant. And as far as the "just" had a baby thing she's saying I don't know if all doctors say the same thing but my doctor told me after a year any weight I hadn't lost would not be considered "baby weight" but that it was my new weight and losing whatever the difference was would be allot harder than what I lost naturally within the first year. I never learned that in nursing school that's just what my ob told me. Lol my mom still claims baby weighty and my brother is 33 lol!

Sorry, I mean I know I wasn't obese while pregnant, I wasn't clear.  When I left the hospital I was down 20 lbs but still heavier than I had ever been and it was horrifying.  I don't think anyone would say I was obese or I had a disease since I had "just" had a baby.  Catelyn also seems to think that having a baby over a year ago is "just" having one so I don't really think she sees her fatness as a disease either.  

[toodywoody]

But how long has she 'just' had Nova. And I'm not saying anything about her weight. Sure she is a big woman, but in my eyes she isn't huge. And this is coming from another big woman. She stress eats and eats to deal with things. Food is her one thing that doesn't talk back and doesn't need a damn thing from her. So it's her only ally but it's her worst enemy. 

What I'm trying to say is Nova is how old, so Cate needs to quit using the excuse that she just 'had' Nova, because she didn't. Maci just gave birth not Cate. Then it's the excuse of that she's depressed and I believe she is but I think it's more the blues or as I call 'in my funk'. I think there will always be an excuse, and right now it is 'I have anxiety and am depressed' and that's perfectly fine but I think there will always be some excuse. And what does she have anxiety about? A couple episodes it was about being on TV, but hello, how many years has she been doing this and now she has anxiety about that? I believe she reads what people say and that's what she has anxiety about. Well you put yourself and your life out there for millions to see. Sorry Cate, but you aren't America's sweetheart, sure I was really rooting for her, but she does nothing but hinder herself at every turn. She needs to get the help she needs and quit self diagnosing off of WebMD. And keep on the meds and keep off the pot and listen to the doctors and try. 

The only thing I will give Tyler is that he has at least been working on the new house, so I can see where he would be frustrated while she lays in bed and here he is redoing the new house.

[lexiexx]

I think that Tyler is just straight up disgusted by cate.  He looks repulsed by her whenever they talk. His mom seems like a shit stirrer and super passive aggressive.  She constantly says something that would piss cate off on camera and then follows that up with saying 'see I don't know'.  She knows what she's doing.   Tyler wants out but he can't figure out how to without showing his true colors to this loser fans.  

I can almost see him divorcing cate and taking nova with him just so he can keep up his fake ass persona and solidify a story line while he's at it.   

[LBL]

@poopchute I feel you completely I went from 118 to 174 when I went in to deliver. My son is 4 months old and I still have 26lbs to go. I'm scared because my weight loss is slowing down dramatically. Having a BMI that falls in the obese category short term is not going to cause the long term health effects that long term obesity puts you at risk for (diabetes, heart disease, etc).  Obesity being considered a disease is a relatively new thing from what I understand. It's considered a disease more because of the long term health effects being obese has on the body. Making it a disease put it in a different category as far as what doctors should do as far as treatment protocol and it also made insurance companies have to cover things regarding weight loss that they used to could refuse by saying it was cosmetic. I think your using the word obese as an adjective where I'm using it as a noun. I'm looking at it as a number on a chart that puts you into one of 5 categories.  The longer you stay in the obese category the higher chance you have of developing other diseases that obesity is a risk factor for. So it doesn't make a difference if she sees her weight as a disease or not. The longer she stays that much overweight the higher her chances are of having long term health effects from it. She's not going to lose the weight any faster because she is still mentally considering it baby weight. 

[SPLAIN]

Quote

I don't have I diabetic child but I would think that I would start bringing it up when I see bad choices being made. I wonder how many of my patients over the years may still have there eyesight, lower limbs, or kidney function had they had someone saying don't you eat that cake lol! Nagging doesn't work for everyone but holding them accountable for there diet does help allot of people.

With small children, it is a responsibility to be in their business and help them to make proper choices in life. That is not true for adult children or even other adults. As children grow, the role of the parent changes. That doesn't mean they don't love or care what happens to their children. The best way to teach is through model behavior. Let's take Cate since she is the topic. Look at her mother. She is there with her adult daughter smoking pot. If she were a different parent she could be modeling a healthy lifestyle. She could tell Cate she will meet with her four times a week to take a walk and cook healthy dinners together.

For argument's sake, let's say April is clean and sober. She is concerned about Cate's eating habits and pot smoking. Cate is now overweight and diabetic. April should not confront Cate what she is doing is unhealthy. An opinion given without invitation is often wasted. It is best to wait until asked and then gently share what you think.

Overall, Cate cannot be pressured or made to feel bad about her choices. Cate will have to experience the natural outcome of her choices. The same holds for any adult child who is dealing with other health issues. We'd love to put our adult children in bubbles and never let them suffer in any way, but then you will end up with a child like Ryan (Maci). If Cate were to end up in the hospital because of her bad health choices, more likely than not, she will know she failed herself. It is not a time to for anyone to tell her "I told you so" although one's instincts are to want to say those words to someone who made bad choices.

I personally dealt with a relative who was ill with a particular disease.  I was constantly telling them they were going to end up in the hospital due to not taking care of themselves. I would tell them what to eat and not to eat.  I'd sometimes go out and buy them groceries hoping to show them they can make better choices and feel better. I was advising them constantly how they look sick, trying to get them to understand. Big time fail. That person ended up in the hospital. I was so frustrated. Thank goodness for the therapists at my work. They helped me to understand that adults cannot be forced, pressured, or made to see what they are doing may be unhealthy and not in their best interest. Sometimes the more one pushes someone, the more they are likely to resist. I see this with Cate.

[mamadrama]

10 hours ago, Tatum said:

I understand depression is still largely misunderstood, with people thinking the depressed person should just shake it off or get some perspective. But the disconnect here is that Cate does have enthusiasm for some things. It seems rather convenient that she has the inclination to do fun things, but "work" tasks are what get avoided.

That's a good point.When I was in the worst of my depression (a few months after my son died) the following situation happened:

I visited my doctor and asked for help. She gave me 12 Valiums and set me up with the counselor who came to that office once a week. I live in a very rural area and we don't have a full-time counselor in the county. It was everything I could do to manage to go to the office at all. It took me a week to get the motivation to get out of bed, make the call, get dressed, and drive in. 

Okay, so a week later the day of my appointment with the counselor comes. The morning before, the doc's office calls me:

Doc: Sorry, but we overbooked so we'll have to re-schedule you. The next available date we have is in six weeks. 

Me: Uhhh...

Doc: What you CAN do is call our sister office (an hour away) at 7am in the morning and talk to them about an emergency appointment with their counselor. You'll have to go in and wait for a few hours but if you explain to them (which would mean repeating the story about my son's death to a receptionist) and tell them what happened today then they might be able to fit you in...Here is their number. 

Hell, I'd forgotten that entire conversation by the time I hung up the phone. I was in that bad of shape. The idea of having to get up at a certain time, call someone, talk to them about what happened, drive an hour away when I could barely walk out to the front porch, and wait for several hours was nothing short of asking me to hike Everest at that point. I didn't go. 

The point is, I couldn't do ANYTHING. My depression was not a la carte. I didn't lay around in bed all day for weeks and then jump up on the night of my friend's Halloween party and yell, "Whoo hoo!" The fact that Cate's does appear to be sporadic makes me skeptical. I have a terminal medical condition that affects me every day-some days to the point in which I am unable to do basic things for myself. So I DO get that there are "good days" and "bad days". On the bad days, however, I can't do anything-not even the "fun" things I want to do. From what we can see, Cate's depression never seems to affect the "fun things" yet it's always there for the mundane. 

[LBL]

13 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

So what I'm saying is although it may be socially unacceptable and considered fat shaming, his wife is unhealthy and holding her accountable for what she eats is not any different than someone nagging a diabetic about sneaking a piece of cake.

@SPLAINBy the time she ends up in the hospital it is too late. I feel like the key is prevention in this as well as most medical situation. Maybe it's the. Nurse in me that thinks it's perfectly fine to remind someone of there health and ways to improve it(especially when they are constantly complaining about it). Sure they may not take the advice, but at least you wouldn't have regret later. You will never wonder if only I had of said something maybe they would have changed. Is what Tyler is doing working? Nope not even a little bit. But I think that he genuinely believes that cait is wanting to lose the weight. (She's not) I think he hears her repeatedly say I'm fat and I want to lose this weight so when he sees her stuffing her face he's like hey that's not going to help her get what she wants. If someone keeps complaining to you my blood sugar is so high I hate it I wish it was lower while eating a doughnut wouldn't you say that doughnut may be why your sugar is high. My point with the example was if he was riding her about a different health concern no one would be accusing him of "verbal abuse/fat shaming". It's kind of gone off in a tangent since the first mention of the blood sugar example I gave. so I don't really have an opinion on the other stuff you talked about as far as Caitlyn and her mom or telling someone I told you so in the hospital. 

[GreatKazu]

8 hours ago, LBL said:

I think if you love someone and are invested in there life then you have a responsibility to speak up when they are doing something damaging to there health. There is a difference in a responsible diabetic who is actually taking care of themselves and someone who is neglecting to the point of serious issues. But let's say your child is in the hospital with ketoacidosis for the second time in a month, at that point you might start talking to them about diet changes they need to make. We aren't talking about 10lbs we are talking about 100lbs. (The diabetic comparison of an amputation [just an example] ) I don't know maybe not I don't have I diabetic child but I would think that I would start bringing it up when I see bad choices being made. I wonder how many of my patients over the years may still have there eyesight, lower limbs, or kidney function had they had someone saying don't you eat that cake lol! Nagging doesn't work for everyone but holding them accountable for there diet does help allot of people. It's the same reason doctors ask patients to keep a food diary. But that's not really what I was trying to relay by the diabetic example. What I was trying to do is to get people to look at it from health standpoint. She has a disease, obesity, and reminding her when she's over eating shouldn't be considered "fat shaming". Which I've read over and over again on this thread. Let's say she has lung cancer and he was making comments when he saw her smoking. Then everyone would think oh he just cares about her and wants her to get better. Well she is obese and him saying wow your really endulging is the same thing. It shouldn't be looked at as "verbal abuse" another term I've read about his statements. I don't think he cares about what she looks like as much as he cares about the way she feels about herself. She's constantly complaining about being overweight and wanting to lose weight. It would be different if she didn't always say she's trying to lose weight. She's told him she has a goal that she wants to achieve and all he is doing is supporting her to achieve that goal of losing weight. His nagging isn't working obviously, but I don't think he has the intellect to understand that it's not working. I think if she was like you know what this is my body it's not the healthiest but I'm happy and I'm done trying to lose weight he would probably not bring it up again. My husband has wanted to lose 20 lbs for two years. Every morning when he puts on his pants he puts himself down and bitches about the 20lbs he has to lose, and it drives me absolutely insane because he goes back for seconds every meal, drinks soft drinks several times a week, and a beer with every meal we eat out. I don't care about the 20lbs I care about hearing him every morning before work bitching about his pants and needing to lose 20lbs. I tell him all the time get over the number or change something about his habits. But let's get real here for a second. She doesn't want to lose the weight she's saying it because she thinks it what he wants to hear. Or at least she didn't want to lose it enough to do anything about it. She's lazy! Sorry I said it. The only time she plays the depression anxiety card is when she doesn't want to do something. She went to rehab after Tyler put his foot down and said that something has to change get up and take care of your daughter and this stupid pig you spent 3000$ on. He held her feet to the flames and then all of the sudden she had to leave for a month for "treatment". The problem is that she doesn't want to do anything about anything whether it's her weight, her daughter, her pets! 

 

I used to believe telling my adult child about her health choices was my responsibility. After speaking with professionals and doctors, I was advised it is up to her to decide how she will handle her life choices including those choices that affect her health. It is not my place to tell her since she is an adult and lives on her own. It is similar to the advice given to me by Al-Anon when dealing with an addict. You cannot force anyone to listen to you, take your advice, or hear what you have to say about their life. My child is not a minor child. I do find comfort in that she is very open with me and asks me what I think about certain matters of her life. That is when I take the opportunity to give her advice. I have been on the other side of that when I was working on losing 40 pounds. I would get these bad urges for soda. I'd ask one of my daughters to bring me a soda or I would ask my husband to buy me a can. They never told me it was bad for me. They didn't have to. I KNEW IT WAS BAD FOR ME. I know what choice I was making. If anyone had told me how bad it was or that it was not healthy, it would not have mattered. Having dealt with anorexia as a teen, I know the feeling of someone telling you how your health is at risk. Believe me, people know what they need to do, especially those, like Catelynn, who have been in touch with professionals and doctors. They just have to be pro-active. 

If people in Cate's life want to support her and help her, telling her what she shouldn't do or constantly pointing out her eating habits is not the way. It never works. They can be pro-active. Tyler can help her get motivated by asking her to take a daily walk for 15 minutes. April can also be a part of that by telling Cate rather than leave Nova with her, how about the three of them take Nova to the park everyday for at least an hour or maybe the three of them could go to a local swimming pool, weather permitting of course. April, Nova, and Cate can go horseback riding or find some other activities.

Quote

Sure they may not take the advice, but at least you wouldn't have regret later.

If Cate doesn't follow through with her health advice, she will be the one with regrets. Others are not responsible for Cate's choices just as she is not responsible for others. Tyler is responsible for his choices. Butch is responsible for his choices, and so on. They can support and help one another, but they can't control the choices any one of them makes.

People cannot follow their loved ones around with a safety net, being prepared to catch them when they fall. That is unrealistic.

Edited October 14, 2016 by GreatKazu

[LBL]

@GreatKazu it might not bother some people but if I knew something was going to kill someone and didn't tell them then they died from it I would have regrets for not telling them. If I told them they chose to do it anyways I wouldn't have that same guilt. And I've said several times what Tyler is saying isn't working as far as weight loss. The point I was making that it wasn't fat shaming when he's trying to encourage her to be healthy. But the first post has gone so far from that at this point it's taking a life of its own lol. This is completely on cait she has to do something to lose the weight no one can do it for her. But I don't feel like Tyler was fat shaming rather than trying to help th only way he knows how. It would be great if him and her mom were more supportive but it's not there job too. She will lose the weight when she's ready to i guess

[starfire]

I think that much of Cate's problem stems from her environment and the people she surrounds herself with. She is surrounded by people like Tyler, April, Butch, etc., who have their own issues and have been the main players in her history of abuse.  Cate has said in "therapy" that many of her issues stem from the abuse she endured while growing up. I don't think Cate and April have ever gotten intensive counseling together by a qualified professional, or even separately.  Cate has serious issues with what April and Butch have done to her, while simultaneously leaving Nova with April for half the week and letting Butch live with them. It boggles the mind.

I see Cate as someone who could be influenced in a positive way by having different people in her life. People who are doing positive things with their lives and could be good influences and role models for her. Sadly she has been influenced by the wrong people: sketchy adoption counselors, etc. She seems to do well in treatment settings and she seemed to have a positive experience when she went to that retreat for birthmothers. In those situations, she was surrounded by supportive people who want the best for her. Unfortunately, it seems that Cate doesn't have it in her to make a different life for herself. She is now sabotaging her chances for getting better, for example missing the psychiatrist appointment with no good excuse. I don't know who has been prescribing her medications these past years, but it seems she needs someone at that level to evaluate her medications and treatment plan. I don't know what the credentials of the copy room therapist are, but if it ain't working, it's time for a change, and it is apparent Cate needs a higher-level professional who can monitor both meds and counseling. Unfortunately both Cate and Tyler seem pretty dim and lack self-awareness, and it also is seeming that Cate is not ready to truly get the help she needs. I am not sure if she will ever be ready since I think the folks she hangs with are the root of some of her deepest issues.

Edited October 14, 2016 by starfire

[starfire]

By the way, did Butch move out of C&T's house? I haven't seen him lately. I understand he has a job, so I am guessing he may have gotten his own place? I hope he is able to stay out of trouble.

[Calm81]

I wanted to address a few things I've read up thread. Now I'm not attacking any opinions, so if I mention something you've said I'm just adding to the discussion and not attacking it lol.

I don't remember which member said this and non-verbatim "Cate couldn't say she 'just' had a baby after one year postpartum" and I have to say I disagree with this.

Cate had her baby sometime in January, which was only 2.5 - 3 months before I had my third child. My little girl is 18 months old, and I'm finally close to losing the baby weight, and yes, I will say "baby weight" because it was earned while pregnant and when I'm not pregnant, I'm slim. When I was pregnant, my doctors were constantly worried that I could end up miscarrying and that I should take it easy, so I had to stop my routine activities that kept my metabolism going.

I ate very healthily, aside from Thanksgiving, Xmas dinner, a sub sandwich here and there - and a HUGE HEART full of chocolates from my hubby on valentines day but most weeks I would have grilled chicken and asparagus for my dinner. I'm obsessed with asparagus. I gained 40 pounds with my third pregnancy, and when I got pregnant, I was still trying to lose the last 10-pounds left from my 2nd pregnancy lol, so 50 pounds away from my original weight.

Three-Four months postpartum I had hurt my back carrying her car seat wrong, so that derailed my exercising efforts and my weight loss had to be centered around my diet. I'm very strict with my diet, and the weight slowllllllly melted off. My husband will vouch for me and tell you all I ate nothing but salads, skinless chicken, etc. to rid the weight but it wasn't budging.

I teetered with a bunch of diets, and it wasn't until I realized what diet really did work for me (for me, it may not work for everyone) was to join a ketogenic lifestyle. I'm even documenting my weight loss progress on youtube, and I update that channel with my weekly weigh-ins and keto-friendly recipes to keep myself motivated. So you see, someone as strict as I was couldn't lose the "baby weight" within a year.

I believe many women (not sure if Cate would fall into this category because I don't see her making any efforts to lose weight) that gained weight due to pregnancy should be allowed to say, "I'm still trying to lose the baby weight" for maaaaybe up to 2-2.5 years. It is hard when there can be so many different factors contributing to the slow weight loss. Plus, not all pregnant ladies gain a lot of weight from eating too much! My hormones were all over the place, and I'd gain weight from eating 1500 calories.

Sorry, this is so long.

I also don't think Tyler should have to change his diet to be supportive to Cate because my husband would be damned if I asked him to follow my ketogenic diet and give up his precious bread. Just three weeks ago he was teasing me with a slice of yummy pizza, and I stood my ground even though I reaaaaaaally wanted a bite. Cate needs will power.

Uh oh, the teeter effect.

With that said, he could at least TRY to eat healthy to help his wife. Even though my hubby teased me with the pizza, he will some days say "I'll have what you have tonight, no reason I shouldn't try to be healthy."

So Tyler doesn't have to eat diet food every night but a few times a week to help Cate learn new healthy recipes or have fun cooking them with Tyler may help motivate her, and heck, Tyler may discover that healthy food is actually pretty damn good. I actually crave my Tilapia Florentine with asparagus mid-afternoon "yum, I can't wait for dinner that fish is going to be YUMMY!."

Once your body gets used to eating healthy food, it will react negatively to junk food. I.E., I allowed myself to have a cheat day two-three weeks ago, and it tore my stomach up, and it wasn't worth it.

Food for thought - Could a person struggling with alcohol addiction be able to stay sober when their spouse or partner is drinking around them always? He shouldn't have to change his diet but a little effort to help her wouldn't be a terrible thought. My hubby eats his junk on Fri - Saturday nights, so two days out of the week I need to have will power, but the rest of the time he's eating healthy.

[Chris Knight]

I thought I had read somewhere that April had opened a business of her own. Antiques maybe ? Wait here it is Feb 2014 in OK magazine. I guess that went nowhere..

[DangerousMinds]

nm

Edited October 14, 2016 by DangerousMinds

[CofCinci]

Obesity is determined by BMI. For her height/weight,  her BMI is over 30. She is in the obese range. 

[poopchute]

14 hours ago, LBL said:

1 hour ago, Calm81 said:

 

I wanted to address a few things I've read up thread. Now I'm not attacking any opinions, so if I mention something you've said I'm just adding to the discussion and not attacking it lol.

I don't remember which member said this and non-verbatim "Cate couldn't say she 'just' had a baby after one year postpartum" and I have to say I disagree with this.

 

I don't know why I have two quote boxes here. But I can't get out of this one.

oh wait I'm out again. This happened the other day!

Anyway, I was the poster who said something about her "just" having a baby. I'm not saying all women should be able to lose their baby weight within a year but I don't really think it's accurate to say you "just" had a baby when your baby is a year old.  

[GreatKazu]

5 hours ago, starfire said:

By the way, did Butch move out of C&T's house? I haven't seen him lately. I understand he has a job, so I am guessing he may have gotten his own place? I hope he is able to stay out of trouble.

Butch has that girlfriend. Could he have moved in with her or maybe got his own place?

Quote

 it might not bother some people but if I knew something was going to kill someone and didn't tell them then they died from it I would have regrets for not telling them

That reads like a personal issue. It does nothing for the person who has the health problem. In the end, Cate will do what she wants, and going by real-time information, she is not interested in what anyone tells her. She now has Tyler on her side going by his tweet that she can eat all the quesadillas she wants and he will join her in "getting fat together."

[guilfoyleatpp]

Cate's weight isn't about Tyler. He makes everything about him and how it reflects on him. He is a narcissist.

I've been very overweight.  You know what didn't make me lose weight? Other people commenting on my weight.  People who are overweight are well aware of it.  Society lets them know in MILLIONS of tiny ways.  The internet, magazines, comments from strangers, commercials, sales pitches for weight loss and exercise products.  You literally cannot avoid it.  If someone wasn't already depressed, it's enough to turn them into a hermit who doesn't want to leave the house. I didn't need my grandma, school chums, my parents, strangers telling me I was overweight. I knew I was. And when people, including those who are closest to you, are constantly telling you that you're imperfect in this way that is highly judged on both vanity and morality grounds, you withdraw. You retreat. You don't feel safe.

I've been 300 pounds and at the gym and had people give me dirty looks, laugh at me, stare. It's hard enough to stick to a workout routine without also having to anticipate and face public humiliation.

It is one thing for a partner to say "hey, I'm worried about you. I love you no matter what, but your issue is impacting our relationship. Is there anything we can do together to make this better?" and entirely another for a partner to say things like "wow, you're really indulging tonight" and "I don't want to be married to a heifer." That is emotional abuse. I don't care how many deniers say "you're too sensitive." I am not. I have worked with battered women and their children for the last 30 years (jeez, I can't believe it's been that long...)

Saying "it was just a joke" is the refuge of the coward bully. It's not just a fucking joke. 

[Calm81]

3 hours ago, poopchute said:

oh wait I'm out again. This happened the other day!

Anyway, I was the poster who said something about her "just" having a baby. I'm not saying all women should be able to lose their baby weight within a year but I don't really think it's accurate to say you "just" had a baby when your baby is a year old.  

You're absolutely right. I worded it incorrectly. I know Cate and I didn't "just" have our babies. What I meant was that it's unreasonable to expect ALL the baby weight gone within a calendar year (some can do it but not all).

If a mom hasn't lost all the baby weight by the one year mark and she tried her best and is still trying to lose the baby weight it should still (imo) be considered baby weight earned during the pregnancy - unless the mom admittedly ate poorly during and after delivery. ? 

I wasn't defending Cates reason for being heavy, I was just defending other mothers that have been trying but still haven't shed all of the baby weight. One year mark isn't achievable for all mothers and I don't want new moms feeling like a failure if they don't or didn't make the cutoff.

I hope I made sense ???

Again, you're absolutely right. I believe the "just had a baby" should be null by 6-months postpartum, right? Lol. ?

Edited October 14, 2016 by Calm81

[leighroda]

My take on Tyler being able to remind Cate about watching her weight, to me it's not so much the reminder itself, but the tone, the fact that it's on national television, and usually in front of friends. It's probably hard because I see him as a complete douchecanoe so I can't see him any other way, but in my opinion he seems so condescending when he says it. I kinda assume he rides her about it, but I just thought a little differently, and I think if it were me I'd be just as mad... That Tyler doesn't say anything at all, eats with her etc until cameras and/or friends are there, and then becomes concerned with weight.  

Everyone is different, it's impossible for any of us to know the best way to motivate Cate, for me the nit picky comments Tyler makes would piss me off and cause me to do the opposite of what he wants, but she doesn't seem to be capable of motivating herself, so I'm at a loss as to how to help her, she has to realize it for herself. 

On a different subject, I saw on Twitter this am that apparently the reunion show is coming out in December... Sorry gotta go to the dr, I rolled my eyes too hard.

[ginger90]

https://mobile.twitter.com/TylerBaltierra/status/786989848477310976?p=v

[Katt]

Hey! Tyler doesn't have a problem with Cate's weight. Let's get this straight right now! Tyler Hemingway said, "I don't want to be married to NO heifer." All of these posts are moot! 

[ghoulina]

4 hours ago, CofCinci said:

 

Obesity is determined by BMI. For her height/weight,  her BMI is over 30. She is in the obese range. 

 

I don't put much stock into BMI scales, because they don't take anything else into account. We have a friend who is a body builder, but he's short. According to BMI scales, he's obese! He doesn't have an ounce of fat on him! My middle child, a boy, is "overweight" according to BMI scales, but he's just a large kid. He's not fat at all. I don't give my kids crap, sugar is a rare treat, they only drink water, and they're very active. But he's built like his daddy, and is actually taller than his 8 year old brother. The only BMI I'm interested in is the one where they actually pinch your skin to measure how much fat there is. 

At any rate, I have no idea if Cate is obese, but she's definitely overweight and that will likely not change until she gets some self confidence and motivation going on in her life. Some anti-depressants can cause weight gain or stymie weight loss. Pot obviously leads to munchies. Either way it's going to be an uphill battle, and I don't know that I realistically ever see her conquering it. 

1 hour ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

It is one thing for a partner to say "hey, I'm worried about you. I love you no matter what, but your issue is impacting our relationship. Is there anything we can do together to make this better?" and entirely another for a partner to say things like "wow, you're really indulging tonight" and "I don't want to be married to a heifer." That is emotional abuse. I don't care how many deniers say "you're too sensitive." I am not. I have worked with battered women and their children for the last 30 years (jeez, I can't believe it's been that long...)

I couldn't agree more. I don't think a partner should just stay silent if something is truly bothering them. But Tyler does NOT say things that give me any impression he's coming from a "noble" place. He just wants to comment. His comments are hurtful and only going to make Catelynn take comfort in food more often. No, her weight is not his responsibility, but I'd bet you anything if HE suggested family walks or grilling some chicken on the BBQ, it would do a lot to get her motivated. I don't know....I love my husband, I don't mind sacrificing sometimes for him. Tyler is about Tyler. Always and forever. 

 

https://mobile.twitter.com/TylerBaltierra/status/786989848477310976?p=v

 

What the fuck is a "passion project"? Who talks like that? Please don't let it be another baby. 

[leighroda]

@ghoulina the project is a show where they reunite families, I think like the one icon TLC but I'm not sure how exactly how it's supposed to work. Although I'm not sure how they find anyone, unless they are in their couch cushions.

[ghoulina]

No, I know they've been working on that, but I just meant the term "passion project". It sounds so ridiculous. It makes me think they're hosting a sex toy party or something. 

[SPLAIN]

Quote

This is very true. I'd never say, "Well, *I* have depression and I'm able to ____ " because it's so different for everyone. I am not comfortable coming down hard on whether she's depressed or not, because I'm not in her head, or even in her life.

@ghoulina

I hope my comments about having endured depression due to chronic pain did not come off as coming down on Cate, or anyone else who is going through depression. I think I can safely say that when we post "I have had depression..." we are letting others know we can identify with the affliction and this is our experience with it. Every situation is different and every person is different. I just hope my own personal input was not coming off as if my experience is the way Cate should handle her situation. I just don't think I needed to type out "I had depression, however, I know each situation is different" as I hoped my post reflected that anyways. : )

10 hours ago, Katt said:

Hey! Tyler doesn't have a problem with Cate's weight. Let's get this straight right now! Tyler Hemingway said, "I don't want to be married to NO heifer." All of these posts are moot! 

Exactly. His point was made long ago by that remark.

Quote

It is one thing for a partner to say "hey, I'm worried about you. I love you no matter what, but your issue is impacting our relationship. Is there anything we can do together to make this better?" and entirely another for a partner to say things like "wow, you're really indulging tonight" and "I don't want to be married to a heifer." That is emotional abuse. I don't care how many deniers say "you're too sensitive."

Amen.

It is not about a one time comment or a slip of the tongue that happened once and hasn't happened since.

How many words or how many times does Tyler need to say hurtful things to his wife before it is considered emotional abuse? If he hit her one time, that would be constituted as physical abuse. If Cate is hurt by his words, and she has deemed those words to be hurtful to her, then it is what it is. We have heard him say things to her on camera. Just imagine what is going on when the cameras are not there. Could it be possible that little foul mouth of his is going into overdrive when he doesn't have a camera on him? Cate herself mentioned Tyler is extremely volatile and has a temper. Cate may not see it as emotional abuse simply because she may have been desensitized due to all the abuse she endured growing up.  Cate seems to have developed coping mechanisms of denial and minimizing in order to deal with the stress. The problem is, and I think we are seeing it is, the effects of long-term emotional abuse can cause severe emotional trauma in the victim, including depression, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder. This last part comes from the information our therapists here give out to patients at the mental facility where I work.

Overall, JMO.

Edited October 15, 2016 by SPLAIN
then not than

[DNR]

I don't follow T & C on social media at all but from what I've read here on PTv it seems like Tyler gets a lot of " you're so good looking" " you're hot " " such a great dad & hubby" ( geez, up your standards young people!)  That adoration has surely gone to his head. Tyler's a lazy slug just like Caitlyn.  Seems to me his resentment that's he's so fabulous and he's chained to this depressed " heifer" ( his words) with a kid & marriage is spilling out in every conversation. Tyler truly believes he should have someone so much better than Caitlyn . He's UP here and she's DOWN here ... Tyler, you're right where you're supposed to be . If you're not happy then just GTFO already . 

[SPLAIN]

Great point DNR.

I searched for the scene where Cate talked to her counselor before going to Hawaii. Cate is telling the counselor how Tyler keeps asking her if she is going to be dealing with anxiety on their vacation. Cate says it is him asking her about it that sets it off for her:

http://okmagazine.com/videos/catelynn-lowell-tyler-baltierra-wedding-teen-mom-og/

Imagine Tyler constantly on her ass...Are you going to eat that? Will you eat like a hiefer in Hawaii? They will have a buffet there which is good for you. Are you going to wear that bathing suit? Make sure you bring a lot of sunscreen because you have a lot of skin. Do you think there is a weight limit for riding the horses? What if you have an anxiety attack while we are on the plane? What if your anxiety gets in the way of our trip? What should we do if you have an anxiety attack in Hawaii?

If Cate had an anxiety attack in Hawaii, my money is on Tyler having said things to her which triggered it. He is the culprit of all of this madness. Cate stated she did real good in rehab. No wonder, Tyler wasn't around. She also wasn't smoking weed. She returns home and the madness begins.

Edited October 14, 2016 by SPLAIN

[leighroda]

@ghoulina oh! My bad lol... Sorry!

[Caracoa1]

Nova is almost 2 yrs old.... Catelynn did not "just" have a baby.

[TaxNerd]

Ok, I admit I never got the comments of how Cate looks like April before.  Not sure if this is a recent pic, but I see the resemblence now!

FWIW, she looks happy and healthy here.  Anyone know if this is recent or an older season?  I don't remember her having hair this long.

Edit: 2012 :(

Edited October 15, 2016 by TaxNerd

[GreatKazu]

Yes, she had long hair before. Don't know the year for this photo, but you can see the length of her hair.

Now, she wears her hair like her mother with the bang swept to the side. They both have the same look around the mouth area. It is pretty much identical. April's teeth protrude. When Cate had her braces taken off, she had a beautiful smile. Sadly, I can notice how her teeth have shifted out of place and she has that similar protrusion. When they were both laughing their assess off like hyenas as they headed to boogietown, they looked identical. Then, there is the forehead. Poor Nova has it as well.

[ChristmasJones]

Re: Tyler's negative comments to Cate.

Many of you probably know about the marriage research by Dr. John Gottman (and his wife Julie). Its really interesting stuff.

Anyway, their research has shown that the ratio of positive to negative interactions is what separates happy from unhappy (and divorce-prone) couples:

From the Gottman Institute blog: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-positive-perspective-dr-gottmans-magic-ratio/

"Research suggests that what really separates the happy couples from the miserable is a healthy balance between their positive and negative interactions. All couples have different styles of approaching conflicts – some yell and slam doors, while others retreat into separate corners of their home and fume quietly. Neither style necessarily spells relationship doom. Volatile couples can stick together when their frequent arguments are conducted in the context of mutual love and passion – when their disagreements are had in a state of Positive Sentiment Override. As we mentioned in our last blog, PSO establishes the presence of positive affect in problem solving discussions and transitively determines success of repair attempts during conflict resolution.

However, balance does not mean a fifty-fifty equilibrium. Dr. John Gottman charted the amount of time couples spent arguing versus interacting positively – touching, smiling, paying compliments, laughing, etc – and found there is a very specific ratio that exists between the amount of positivity and negativity in stable relationships.

The magic ratio is 5:1. In other words, as long as there are five times as many positive interactions between partners as there are negative, the relationship is likely to be stable. It is based on this ratio that Dr. Gottman is able to predict divorce! Very unhappy couples tend to have more negative than positive interactions. The bottom line: even though some level of negativity is necessary for a stable relationship, positivity is what nourishes your love."

[mamadrama]

7 hours ago, ghoulina said:

No, I know they've been working on that, but I just meant the term "passion project". It sounds so ridiculous. It makes me think they're hosting a sex toy party or something. 

Hell, they should do it. At least maybe they'd get off their phones for awhile...

[Christina]

I think that something missing from this conversation is that Cate is likely addicted to food. Learning to cook as opposed to eating out is not going to make a huge difference, because she will be cooking food that isn't the healthiest, and eating larger quantities than she should. Eventually, without seeking help, her food issues will switch from overeating to undereating,  with everyone telling her how good she is looking as she literally starves herself to death for the approval of her husband and "fans" who really don't care about her.

Also, chicken quesadilla has been mentioned so much in this thread, that I really, really want one, and it is 4:50 a.m. so thanks a lot! It's all your fault I'm hungry.

[blubld43]

Quote

Is she obese though? Or just fat?

I think she is definitely obese at this point.  I'm sad for her, she's stuck in this vicious circle, and her husband sits there criticizing and picking at her constantly, aided and abetted by his mother.

I would love to see her just flip him the bird, tell him about HIS faults, and tell Kim to just mind her own business.  Tell Tyler how ridiculous HE looks with the stupid hats, the dumb haircut, just go to town on him and his inflated ego.  

Hoping Cate will get some real help, realize she deserves better, and divorce this guy who seems to get some kind of warped satisfaction out of his wife's serious problems.

[ghoulina]

21 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

I hope my comments about having endured depression due to chronic pain did not come off as coming down on Cate, or anyone else who is going through depression. I think I can safely say that when we post "I have had depression..." we are letting others know we can identify with the affliction and this is our experience with it. Every situation is different and every person is different. I just hope my own personal input was not coming off as if my experience is the way Cate should handle her situation. I just don't think I needed to type out "I had depression, however, I know each situation is different" as I hoped my post reflected that anyways. : )

Oh no, not at all. I was just agreeing with the other poster that there is no one way to deal with depression. And when I said "coming down", I didn't mean being hard on Cate. I meant I can't say one way or the other if she is truly depressed or not. Like I can't come down on either side. I, personally, still think manic depression should be looked into.

 

14 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Hell, they should do it. At least maybe they'd get off their phones for awhile...

They could sell Farrah vagina molds.

 

I think that something missing from this conversation is that Cate is likely addicted to food. Learning to cook as opposed to eating out is not going to make a huge difference, because she will be cooking food that isn't the healthiest, and eating larger quantities than she should. Eventually, without seeking help, her food issues will switch from overeating to undereating,  with everyone telling her how good she is looking as she literally starves herself to death for the approval of her husband and "fans" who really don't care about her.

I agree. Cate is trying to fill the emptiness inside of her with food. Like Amber's therapist told her, she will never be full. I also wonder - Cate grew up in very bad circumstances. I wonder if they had enough to eat? Now that she has money, she's gone overboard eating stuff she never had growing up.

[GreatKazu]

I think manic depressive is the problem as well, going by what you have posted. 

I think food is a comfort thing for Cate.

[starfire]

Cate also smokes a lot of pot, which can often cause people to get the munchies and overeat regardless if they are addicted to food.

And when you have the munchies, you don't usually crave healthy food, you crave stuff like ice cream, cookies, pizza, chips, fast food, etc. (I read that somewhere hehe)