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Catelynn (and Tyler)


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Bolding mine

Tyler is in denial too. Every time he (they) are talking about Carly he manages to throw in a "my kid' reference any time Carly is mentioned. Guess what Ty? She isn't your kid...

It drives me crazy. Dawn really fucked up with them. She made adoption look like Carly would spend 18 years soaking up the upper middle class lifestyle with Brandon and Theresa, and then come running back to Catelynn and Tyler on her 18th birthday, and they can forget that B &T ever existed. It disgusts me to think that it was all just so Dawn could make a buck.

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Same here! To me that's one of those family relationships you kind of get to decide. If everyone (meaning EVERYone including Brandon and Teresa) want Carly and Nova to be sisters, then great. But if not - and my guess is not - then stop pushing this relationship. Carly has a family. Nova has a family. They aren't the same family.

I agree. I think that B&T have been saints to C&T. I can imagine that they would want Carly to have about as much of a relationship with Nova as she does with C&T, but Catelynn seems to believe that Nova and Carly would be like the Olsen sisters.

Conspiracy theory time: I think that part of the motivation for having another baby was to guilt Brandon and Theresa into having more visits with them. They kept harping on the fact that they are 100% full biological siblings, trying to make Carly's PARENTS feel like they were depriving her of this super special relationship.

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I think Catelynn worries that Tyler will do dirty to her like she did to him when she cheated on him with that guy back in Florida.

He should've just ended it then. The whole thing was ridiculous, yes, but it would have saved a lot of hurt.

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Jesus God, I'm watching the reruns now and Tyler is talking about how "done" he is putting himself in B&T's shoes. Um, has he ever? I think since the beginning, all he has done is bitch about how he gave them a child, and they're just so unfair and uncaring to him, and that they should just "get over" the fact that he and Catelynn are famous, and Carly is too.

Edited by truelovekiss
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I wonder if the only reason Teresa and Brandon haven't cut them off yet is because they are worried about back lash? I couldn't handle being treated the way Tyler treats them, he is so ungrateful and a jerk!

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I've thought that before. I think more than anything else, Brandon and Theresa probably just wish that Catelynn and Tyler weren't pimping out their lives on tv, and dragging Carly and their family into it. Tyler has said that Brandon and Theresa are very private people, whereas he is an open book (read: famewhore). He has shown zero regard for their desire for a private life with Carly and their son. I think B&T were probably ecstatic when the show was cancelled the first time, and eager to fade into obscurity. And then extremely disappointed when they rebooted it.

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I think that the fear of backlash has something to do with it. Brandon and Theresa have mentioned that they're being recognized, and I wouldn't put it past some delusional Cate and Tyler fan to harass them and their family in public if they closed the adoption. Plus you know Cate and Ty would be all over the tabloids if that happened, giving sad interviews and milking the public's sympathy for all its worth. Brandon and Theresa probably want to avoid being painted as villians in all the trash mags in the grocery store check out line.

Edited by Spacecow
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I just watched the episode where B&T sent Caitlin that box of Carly's old stuff and Tyler, instead of being happy that he has some of Carly's things for Nova (which was a really sweet idea), has to turn it into "they don't respond to my texts1!!" 

 

God, he is so self absorbed.

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I think too B&T also face some pressure from Bethany to maintain a relationship with C&T as they are success story for open adoption. If Tyler goes whining to the media about how B&T screwed them, possibly other birth moms looking at adoption shy away from Bethany. Bethany's PR isn't really their problem, but that would also screw over other would be adoptive parents and I bet B&T feel a kinship with these people.

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I know, such a touching moment, and because it was centered around Caitlyn, he had to ruined it. I can't understand what that poor girl sees in him after 10 yrs. He is so selfish.

Edited by ebkitty
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I also think if he and Cate broke up, he wouldn't be hassling them about Carly as much. It's not that he doesn't care, but I think it's just another chance for him to engage in a conflict (either real, or in his imagination) because he doesn't seem to be happy unless he's involved in some drama.

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B&T probably realize that they've become the poster children for "adoptive parents" to the MTV crowd and feel a responsibility not to cut ties, etc because it might turn off other pregnant teens from placing a baby for adoption.

(I also agree that Theresa loves Catelynn and they share a special bond, and that they would face a lot of backlash if they closed the adoption.)

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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Catelynn and Tyler never understood that when they chose to give Carly up for adoption, they're also letting the adoptive parents who will raise her, do it their way. I'm surprised Brandon and Teresa haven't cut ties yet.

 

I personally think the only reason is that Teresa seems to truly care for Catelynn. I think otherwise it would've all been closed years ago.

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I hate that piece of shit Tyler. I guess I'd blocked out the memory of him abusing that poor puppy. First he just threw it over the seat into the back seat of the car, then yelled at it multiple times, then when it pooped on the floor he rubbed his face in it and threw it outside. I think he did more than what was shown to that poor puppy because Cate's brother Nick was hysterical.

The poop they showed on the rug was not the poop of a healthy puppy either.

Dog lover, foster mom for dogs here-When I saw him do that I burst out crying, it just broke my heart the way he abused that innocent animal! Rubbing dogs noses in their poop DOES NOTHING! It does not train a dog to not go in the house, just makes him fear people! I so wanted to put my hand thru the t.v. and rub Tyler's nose in that poop, and throw Tyler out the dam door!

And I agree with you, that poop was not what a healthy dog has coming out of it. Should not own an animal when you act worse than one yourself!

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Every time Tyler and Cate talk about Carly, if I didn't know what it was about, I'd think they're mourning a relative or a sister that was gone too soon. I completely understand that they did such a big thing when they were kids, but you'd think they would let go by now and go through it in therapy. It's obvious that Cate regrets it and that her heart is breaking over the whole thing.

As for B^T, I think there will come a time when they will have to draw a line for Ty and Cate, they already should have done it. Catelynn forcing sisterhood to happen between the two girls would be a red light for me. Why would they care about the backlash? If they aren't doing any public jobs for a living, I don't think it would be an issue in their lives. Sure, those two would talk but eventually the whole thing would pass and blow over. After all, they should be grateful that B&T chose open adoption. Clearly a bad choice and I'm partially blaming Dawn for not setting C&T straight about the boundaries that are necessary and wanted by the adoptive parents. They can close that adoption at any time and I'm sure Carly wouldn't blink about those two (as cruel as it sounds, but I mean it because she's too young).

Confusing a child about her relatives at that age is just stupid, in my opinion. Cate desperately wants to have her in her live. She is forgetting that she has what she has just because of B&T. What would she do if it was a closed adoption from the start?

Edited by EuropeanGirl
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It drives me crazy. Dawn really fucked up with them. She made adoption look like Carly would spend 18 years soaking up the upper middle class lifestyle with Brandon and Theresa, and then come running back to Catelynn and Tyler on her 18th birthday, and they can forget that B &T ever existed. It disgusts me to think that it was all just so Dawn could make a buck.

Not trying to offend anyone who adopted through infant adoption, but adoption agencies want money plain and simple. Dawn saw two uneducated immature teens and cashed in. Makes adoption on her end easier.
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Random question: would you guys pronounce Tyler's last name Bal-terra (2 syllables) like they seem to do, or Bal-ti-erra (3 syllables)? It looks like it should be 3 syllables to me.

Spanish speaker here - and in Spanish it's definitely said like "ball tee era" (3 syllables).

(That's how I'd say it, but Butch, Tyler, and co. are certainly entitled to pronounce their last name however they want.)

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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I think that the fear of backlash has something to do with it. Brandon and Theresa have mentioned that they're being recognized, and I wouldn't put it past some delusional Cate and Tyler fan to harass them and their family in public if they closed the adoption. Plus you know Cate and Ty would be all over the tabloids if that happened, giving sad interviews and milking the public's sympathy for all its worth. Brandon and Theresa probbaly want to avoid being painted as villians in all the trash mags in the grocery store check out line.

I read the fans called Brandons job harassing him over being mean to C&T. That when Carly turns 18 she'll forget about them.
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Spanish speaker here - and in Spanish it's definitely said like "ball tee era" (3 syllables).

(That's how I'd say it, but Butch, Tyler, and co. are certainly entitled to pronounce their last name however they want.)

That's what I thought. I'm Italian, and often the two can look and sound similar, and my instinct would have been to emphasize the I.

I read the fans called Brandons job harassing him over being mean to C&T. That when Carly turns 18 she'll forget about them.

Oh my God, what kind of a freak would do something like that? It's disturbing how people think that Carly would disown the people that raised her for 18 years in favor of near strangers she shares DNA with.

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I read the fans called Brandons job harassing him over being mean to C&T. That when Carly turns 18 she'll forget about them.

 

How can Catelynn and Tyler not realize that THAT is precisely why Brandon and Theresa want to minimize Carly's social media presence as much as possible?  The unfortunate reality is that we share our planet with some seriously unhinged people who think nothing of inserting themselves into the private lives of pseudo public figures.

 

Brandon and Theresa have been more than kind, patient, and understanding, considering the circumstances.  I have no doubt that the adoption would have closed long ago if the poor child at the center of this wasn't the famous Carly from Teen Mom.  I still remember the look on Theresa's face during the meeting with Catelynn, Tyler, and Dawn when Tyler unashamedly admitted that he'd posted photos of Carly as a way of retaliating against what he perceived as their mistreatment of him.  Her mouth said, "I'm sure we can work this out," but her face said, "Get me away from these crazy dipshits."

Edited by SuzyLee
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I think it will become harder for them to stay nice when Nova becomes the age of constantly asking about her sister.  Because you know darn well that Nova will absolutely know that Carly is her sister.  I'm sure they don't want to deal with that on their end with Carly, nor do they want to be harassed continuously about how much Nova wants to see her.

 

Unfortunately for them they probably didn't think the series would continue this long so they probably saw no harm in being present in the series at the beginning.

Edited by gunderda
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I can see Tyler threatening or asking his fans to harass Brandon and Teresa if they ever closed the adoption.  Carly is his cash cow and he is not going to lose that lightly.

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I read the fans called Brandons job harassing him over being mean to C&T. That when Carly turns 18 she'll forget about them.

Holy Crap!  That is the sickest thing I've read in a long time.  Brandon and Teresa have gone above and beyond the call of duty IMO.  Not only have they put up with Tyler's immature tantrums on national TV, they're also being subjected to phone calls from lunatic "fans" of that ass-clown (or should I say Reality TV Personality/Author at Baltierra Enterprises).  I would have slammed the door on the adoption by now, or at least told them to stop talking about the situation in front of the cameras.  Tyler is an arrogant little prick that needs slappin' down.  

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I think the ONLY reason the adoption isn't closed is Brandon and Teresa care about Catelynn. I can't imagine they can even stand Tyler at this point.

I think if it weren't for the show it would've been closed. Carly is a poster child for the adoption/prolife movement. That's why Bethany hired CT as their spokesman. To encourage young girls/women to place their child for adoption. They make adoption look so wonderful and easy. Like a fairytale. If the adoption closed now even more fans encouraged by Tyler would harass BT. Telling them Carly is CT kid and not their's. Unfortunately Carly is stuck in the middle. Imagine if that poor girl didn't want a relationship with CT when she gets older? All hell would break loose.
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I really feel for Brandon and Teresa, I've seen it said that they shouldn't have adopted Carly if they didn't want to be in the public eye... Which makes me extremely stabby, because when they adopted Carly, it was a one time episode of a new show in MTV, 16 and pregnant, they had no way of knowing it would turn into teen mom, and even teen mom ended a couple years ago and was only recently brought back as teen mom Og. People have even cited that Carly's family have done magazine articles/interviews so Tyler should be able to also or it's not fair for them to limit social media... I said it before but Brandon and Teresa could rent out space in time square with Carly's face, and still request that Tyler not put her on his social media... She is their child.

I agree that I think they feel connected and invested with Catelynn, and that's probably the only reason they maintained any contact.

I do firmly believe that they did the right thing allowing Carly to be adopted, and I don't think they would have the seemingly comfortable life they have now if they had kept her, plus the whole growing up in all of that dysfunction, but I do find it odd that they felt it was time for another child when they haven't accomplished the main goal they said giving Carly up would give them the opportunity to do, college.

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I wonder if people refer to Carly as Tyler and Cate's kid when they see her in public. I couldn't imagine how horrible that would be to constantly hear "look its Cate and Tyler's daughter", it will get really confusing for Carly too.

I hope that made sense. I had to take a full dose of my pain medicine today so I'm a little fuzzy. I hope you all know what I mean.

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I wonder if people refer to Carly as Tyler and Cate's kid when they see her in public. I couldn't imagine how horrible that would be to constantly hear "look its Cate and Tyler's daughter", it will get really confusing for Carly too.

I hope that made sense. I had to take a full dose of my pain medicine today so I'm a little fuzzy. I hope you all know what I mean.

I understood your comment. 

 

I don't doubt it. Sickos out there. Even Butch, the abuser, seems to think Carly is his grand-daughter. Didn't Tyler's mom have issues with that as well? I know April did. 

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I think they are all too selfish to realize that they are hurting Carly or, at the very least, putting her in a really uncomfortable position, by acting like they're "family."

 

I speak as the spouse of someone who was adopted and found his birth family as an adult. He has affection for his birthmother and sibling but he does NOT view them as his immediate family because they're not. He had a mother raise him. He did not grow up with his birth sister as I grew up with my siblings. There is not that same relationship there and there never will be.

 

So all it will make Carly do is feel bad about things - either she's disappointing them or she's "disloyal" to her parents. Yes - Nova does look just like Carly and I'm sure they'll share some traits. But that's not enough to make them siblings.

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I think you have a great point! I also think Theresa is invested too much emotionally. Hopefully, she and her husband will come to their senses and draw a line for Carly's sake (which I don't see happening any time soon. Come on, they went to their wedding! They see them once or twice a year, but it's all for nothing if you're dancing at their wedding!). The worst part is that both Cate and Tyler believe they take that whole adoption with such maturity. They were brave to give her up, alright, but after that, emotions took over and are in charge even today. I agree, no matter how much resemblance there is between the two little girls, they are not sisters.

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I think you have a great point! I also think Theresa is invested too much emotionally. Hopefully, she and her husband will come to their senses and draw a line for Carly's sake (which I don't see happening any time soon. Come on, they went to their wedding! They see them once or twice a year, but it's all for nothing if you're dancing at their wedding!). The worst part is that both Cate and Tyler believe they take that whole adoption with such maturity. They were brave to give her upht, but after that, emotions took over and are in charge even today, alrig. I agree, no matter how much resemblance there is between the two little girls, they are not sisters.

 

Bolding mine.

 

Honestly in Tyler's case his ego took over. There's never going to be a time when he comes to his senses and realizes that this adoption is not all about Tyler the Superhero. Because you know, he GAVE them Carly.

Edited by AmyFarrahFowler
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Was Carly at the wedding? I don't remember reading about that. If it were me, I wouldn't have gone, its one thing to have visits with Tyler and Cate but its different to actually socialize with them and their families. I hope that just Theresa and Brandon went and left Carly at home. I know that their families would be all over Carly telling her "I'm your grandpa" "I'm your grandma" etc.

The poor kid was probably ao confused.

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I know Carly was at the wedding, and I know the pictures with her and Cate her face isn't showing (or at least in the ones I've seen)... I haven't heard anything about Brandon and Theresa being upset about Carly's pictures being posted on social media, but it doesn't surprise me.

I think this is the first instance though that I don't really agree with Brandon and Theresa. If it's true they are upset (which I do not know for a fact they were), if it was going to be that big of an issue they probably shouldn't have brought her to the wedding. I mean, I do think people should respect their privacy, and not take/ post photos of Carly, they shouldn't have to be locked in their home out of fear of someone taking a picture, but given the nature of Cate and Tyler's wedding, what did they expect? Its kinda a grey area I guess, I don't really fee 100% either was, and I probably shouldn't speculate further because it could just be a rumor, they were not upset, and it's all moot.

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I agree with those who speculate that B&T stay involved out of concern for hurting Cate (NOT Tyler) or fear of some sort of backlash. And, to go along with the backlash component - I think it's possible they think that Carly (and the entire family by extension) would receive MORE attention if they dropped out of the picture. I know that sounds kind of backwards. But we know the crazy kinds of fans these Teen Mom "stars" have. If B&T didn't go the wedding, stopped calling, etc., we'd certainly hear about it. Then people would probably go wild speculating about WHY. Brandon would probably get TONS of calls at his work, wondering what was going on. I think maybe they believe if they keep the peace and try and limit the interactions, it won't be such a big deal and they can be relatively left alone. 

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I totally see what you mean, and agree. It's already been evidenced that the fans went after them when the perceived that B&T weren't being fair to Cate and Tyler, I can imagine how much worse it would be if they tried to completely sever ties... At this point maintaining contact is probably the lesser of 2 evils. I don't blame them because like I said before they had no idea when the show started what it would become, but I can't help but think how much easier things would have been for B&T if they had remained anonymous... But hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

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Just watched the wedding dress scene again and Catelynn does say she bought her wedding dress "six years ago" and it didn't fit because of the weight she put on from her two pregnancies. Does this mean she bought a wedding dress shortly after giving birth to Carly? 

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Just watched the wedding dress scene again and Catelynn does say she bought her wedding dress "six years ago" and it didn't fit because of the weight she put on from her two pregnancies. Does this mean she bought a wedding dress shortly after giving birth to Carly? 

I could be wrong but I think she bought it near the end of S1 or 2 when Tyler proposed.    Anyway, she bought it on the show.   Last week's show said that she was able to 'turn it in' to the store for credit against the one she bought this year.

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Don't get me wrong, I understand that having a baby and being a stay at home mom can make a schedule busy, but in Cate's case, I think she relies on excuses when it comes to her weight. It's like the old saying - who wants to succeed, finds a way, who doesn't want to, finds an excuse. Let's not forget that she complained about Carly post-baby weight after several years until Weight Watchers. To me, she is just lazy and now she can back it up with a new excuse.

It's like - he married me, now I can relax and stay this way. What about her health? It's pure abuse of it.

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I think with Cate it's part laziness, but I think she's probably also just very overwhelmed. She doesn't need to just lose 5-10 lbs. She would really have to get serious about both working out and eating better if she's going to get to a healthy weight. It would take a lot of work, and sometimes when there is that much work before you, you're scared to even start. Tyler doesn't help matters. Obviously her health is not on him, but he has proven he's not a very supportive partner. He eats just as poorly as she does, but he can get away with it. It would be nice if he'd try to be encouraging and do some stuff as a team in the beginning, to help her get the ball rolling. 

 

More than anything,Catelynn is a very insecure girl. She could really use some counseling and a boost to her self esteem. I think not following through with school is another symptom of combined laziness AND low self esteem. It's another case of all those classes and years in school seeming very overwhelming, and not having the confidence that she can do it. The poor girl just seems incredibly beaten down inside. I think if she began to believe in herself, a lot of things in her life would fall into place. 

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I agree ghoulina. Would be a major diet overhaul, and Cate probably has some mistaken notions about what is healthy and what is not. I have a friend who's about Cate's size, and she frequently bemoans her low metabolism, since she eats "so healthy". Yes, she avoids red meat, McDonalds, and most candy, but she thinks a tuna sub from Jimmy Johns is healthy because it has tuna on it (for example). I get so annoyed when she bitches at me for eating a hamburger and fries and scoffs that it must be nice to eat whatever I want and not gain weight, yet my meal has 500 calories total (I know this for a fact, I used myfitnesspal for years) and her garden salad with chicken, cheese, and dressing probably exceeds 1,000. Condiments really pack on the calories, so it wouldn't surprise me if in trying to eat healthy, if Cate is dousing her veggie sticks in ranch, she's packing in more calories than just eating a bag of chips. Then she sees she's not losing weight, and tables the whole thing. I think the only time Cate has gotten results is when she starves herself, which is not a good solution. Moderation and calorie counting would be her friends, but she has to want to do it badly enough.

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I have never been really clear on this, are we allowed to discuss previews? I usually try to just wait for the actual show to come on, especially because MTV likes to show teasers that seem outrageous out of context, but aren't necessarily what they imply... But I'm going to go ahead and comment because this has been fairly well documented throughout the series, but I completely understand if it needs to be removed.

The preview that shows Cate saying "I get to see both of my daughters together, but then I only get to bring one of them home" has me seeing red... This quote is exactly why she maybe shouldn't be involved in Carly's life. CARLY IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!!! You gave birth to her, but Teresa is her mother, Carly is TERESA's daughter.

I feel a little mean, I'm sure adoption is complicated with a lot of different feelings and emotions that likely conflict each other, there is probably no neat and tidy way to handle it, but she and Tyler have got to stop referring to Carly as their daughter. I don't want to belittle the sacrifice birth mothers make, I completely respect it and find it admirable that they recognize they can't be the best for the child whatever the reason, and give the child a better life. If somone chooses an open adoption and to have the birth mother involved to a degree that is their decision, but I feel like in this case it is more damaging than good. Cate and Tyler clearly don't have appropriate boundaries, they fantasize about Carly spending time with them, when she likely won't be coming to stay with them in the summer or overnight visits.

I feel for Cate, I really do, when I say I'm angry about this, it isn't necessarily angry at her, if that makes sense. I feel like they were done a huge disservice whether by the adoption agency, or whatever, but they clearly do not understand adoption. Everyone around them is so delusional about the matter, i honestly respect how Brandon and Teresa handle this, if it were me I don't think I would be so gracious, and the adoption would have been closed long ago. I know it would be incredibly hard but I really think cutting off contact with Carly would be the most humane thing to do in this case, so everyone could heal and move on. It's not really possible at this point, especially as Carly is old enough to remember Cate and Tyler and ask questions as to why they are no longer involved (I don't know that she would though)

I'm sorry for the rant, it just makes me so mad that even 6-7 years later Cate and Tyler refer to Carly as theirs.

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I totally agree with what you're saying as far as Catelynn and Tyler's lack of boundaries in regards to Carly and their misunderstanding of adoption (thanks to Bethany Christian Services).

However, I feel for Catelynn in that I cannot imagine how overwhelming it would be to see your child and the child you placed for adoption (who are full-bio siblings you carried to term, gave birth to, and look so much alike) together. It has to be overwhelming. I think part of it is she doesn't have the tools to express this clearly and in a way that shows she understands & respects the boundaries of the adoption. (I might be giving her too much credit. I do think that Catelynn has a better understanding of and respect for B&T as Carly's parents than Tyler.)

And yeah, if I was Teresa (or Brandon), this adoption would have closed after season one of TM. They're better people than me.

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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