Small Talk: Grab A Bottle

[Kb60]

2 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

That's the thing. I didn't even know I had an infection.  I had felt a dull ache for two weeks prior to visiting my doctor. It started around March 1st. It would come and go. I thought maybe I had hurt a muscle on my side and just let it go. When the pain increased, I finally visited the doctor on the 12th. Other than the pain, I had no other symptoms. No fevers, chills, nor was I experiencing any pain urinating, at that time.  I haven't had any fevers or chills, just the stupid pain increasing and coming in waves sometimes, almost like labor pains. At times I am hunched over in pain as it reaches its peak and I just wait for it to pass. 

Thanks ladies. I appreciate the warmth and care you send my way. 

Hope you feel better Kazu, I'm sending pain free thoughts your way.?

[MissMel]

I'm hoping for good news and some relief tomorrow, @GreatKazu.  Sending a gentle cyber hug to you, as well.

[GreatKazu]

1 hour ago, Kb60 said:

Hope you feel better Kazu, I'm sending pain free thoughts your way.?

 

42 minutes ago, MissMel said:

I'm hoping for good news and some relief tomorrow, @GreatKazu.  Sending a gentle cyber hug to you, as well.

Thank you ladies. I so appreciate it. 

[Emkat]

Is this a general doctor you are seeing? I think you need a urologist. 

[mamadrama]

8 hours ago, druzy said:

@mamadrama you are amazing! I love how your family loves and appreciates animals. 

Thank you. We're basically running a zoo at this point. ;-)

8 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

That's the thing. I didn't even know I had an infection.  I had felt a dull ache for two weeks prior to visiting my doctor. It started around March 1st. It would come and go. I thought maybe I had hurt a muscle on my side and just let it go. When the pain increased, I finally visited the doctor on the 12th. Other than the pain, I had no other symptoms. No fevers, chills, nor was I experiencing any pain urinating, at that time.  I haven't had any fevers or chills, just the stupid pain increasing and coming in waves sometimes, almost like labor pains. At times I am hunched over in pain as it reaches its peak and I just wait for it to pass. 

Thanks ladies. I appreciate the warmth and care you send my way. 

I hope you feel better soon! I've had similar pain from endometriosis that's attached to my bladder, kidneys, and intestines. I still have some scar tissue on my intestines and it makes having bowel movements VERY painful. It reminds me of really bad period cramps or the beginnings of labor. Endo can pop up just about anywhere down there so if you've had problems with that in the past, it's something you might want to ask about. 

I'm sorry you're feeling yucky. :-( Hope they get your sorted out. 

[GreatKazu]

49 minutes ago, Emkat said:

Is this a general doctor you are seeing? I think you need a urologist. 

I am going to ask about that tomorrow. 

I visited with a urologist two years ago when I had surgery done on my bladder.  

6 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

Thank you. We're basically running a zoo at this point. ;-)

I hope you feel better soon! I've had similar pain from endometriosis that's attached to my bladder, kidneys, and intestines. I still have some scar tissue on my intestines and it makes having bowel movements VERY painful. It reminds me of really bad period cramps or the beginnings of labor. Endo can pop up just about anywhere down there so if you've had problems with that in the past, it's something you might want to ask about. 

I'm sorry you're feeling yucky. :-( Hope they get your sorted out. 

I remember you mentioning that. I feel so bad for you. I know you have been dealing with a lot of health issues. I did suffer from Endometriosis. That was why I had a hysterectomy. That was 7 years ago.

Well, hopefully tomorrow I can get some answers. 

[mamadrama]

5 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

I am going to ask about that tomorrow. 

I visited with a urologist two years ago when I had surgery done on my bladder.  

I remember you mentioning that. I feel so bad for you. I know you have been dealing with a lot of health issues. I did suffer from Endometriosis. That was why I had a hysterectomy. That was 7 years ago.

Well, hopefully tomorrow I can get some answers. 

My hysterectomy definitively helped with the endo that was on the outside of my uterus and the adenomyosis that was inside the uterus but, damn, those fuckers are still popping up all over the place. They won't remove the places on my bowels right now because they think more surgery would just cause more scar tissue which would cause more problems, etc. etc. Ugh. 

Hope you get some answers tomorrow! Pain "down there" is the worst. :-(

[ghoulina]

Yes, hoping all goes well today!!! Let us know. 

 

 

Guys, I have a stupid question. I'm too embarrassed to ask people who know me in real life! So we just added my husband to our family cell phone plan. It's my mom, me, my sister and her husband. My husband has always just used a work phone, but he recently started his own business, so we had to get him his own phone. Anyhow, with his company phone, they had unlimited data and he just used as much as he wanted. Now he's having to share our data and that means he needs to watch how much he uses outside of the house. I am a SAHM. My mother, sister, and BIL all work in places with wifi. But my husband is on job sites. No wifi. So I'm trying to caution him to watch his data usage. I know he needs to check email whenever and wherever, but I was just trying to tell him not to be faffing around, googling stuff and SM, etc. Anyhow, he asked me - "If my email app is open, does that count?" And I didn't know. Like, after he reads/writes an email, should he close out back to his home screen? I really didn't know what to tell him, in regards to when data is being used. If I am using Facebook, and my screen blacks out, but I didn't close out of the app, am I still using data???? I feel like an idiot for not knowing this, so don't judge too harshly. 

[MargeGunderson]

2 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Yes, hoping all goes well today!!! Let us know. 

 

 

Guys, I have a stupid question. I'm too embarrassed to ask people who know me in real life! So we just added my husband to our family cell phone plan. It's my mom, me, my sister and her husband. My husband has always just used a work phone, but he recently started his own business, so we had to get him his own phone. Anyhow, with his company phone, they had unlimited data and he just used as much as he wanted. Now he's having to share our data and that means he needs to watch how much he uses outside of the house. I am a SAHM. My mother, sister, and BIL all work in places with wifi. But my husband is on job sites. No wifi. So I'm trying to caution him to watch his data usage. I know he needs to check email whenever and wherever, but I was just trying to tell him not to be faffing around, googling stuff and SM, etc. Anyhow, he asked me - "If my email app is open, does that count?" And I didn't know. Like, after he reads/writes an email, should he close out back to his home screen? I really didn't know what to tell him, in regards to when data is being used. If I am using Facebook, and my screen blacks out, but I didn't close out of the app, am I still using data???? I feel like an idiot for not knowing this, so don't judge too harshly. 

It may depend on the settings. The email on my phone is only set up to download new messages when I open the app. You can have your phone perpetually checking for email and updates for other apps (that may be the default). I also have a setting on my phone for background app refresh - basically the apps will be updated anytime that you are on wi-fi or cellular. I turned that off, which just means that they update when I open them instead of whenever there is an update. You may have already done this, but you could google "[type of phone] reduce data usage to find tips for adjusting other settings.

(Not an expert but I have to do this type of stuff for my husband all of the time).

[ghoulina]

7 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

It may depend on the settings. The email on my phone is only set up to download new messages when I open the app. You can have your phone perpetually checking for email and updates for other apps (that may be the default). I also have a setting on my phone for background app refresh - basically the apps will be updated anytime that you are on wi-fi or cellular. I turned that off, which just means that they update when I open them instead of whenever there is an update. You may have already done this, but you could google "[type of phone] reduce data usage to find tips for adjusting other settings.

(Not an expert but I have to do this type of stuff for my husband all of the time).

Thanks! I do know my phone is set to only update apps when I'm on wifi. I'll have to check his when he gets home. 

[IDreamofJoaquin]

My phone for some reason always turns wifi off on its own and neither my husband nor I know why.  It's frustrating to get a message saying I have used 75% of my data.   For my phone (an android) I have a button that shuts off all the applications.  So I can still open them up and be logged in but it is not always running, just in case.

 

Kazu did y'all get back from the doctor yet?

Edited March 27, 2018 by IDreamofJoaquin

[Booger666]

I have Verizon and downloaded the app.  Every time I open the app it shows data/min/text used and how many days are left in the billing cycle. Really helpful in keeping track of how much you are using.

[mamadrama]

Wondering about @GreatKazu. How you feeling? Any answers?

[ghoulina]

12 hours ago, Booger666 said:

I have Verizon and downloaded the app.  Every time I open the app it shows data/min/text used and how many days are left in the billing cycle. Really helpful in keeping track of how much you are using.

Yea, we already do that. So we know when we're running low. I'm just trying to figure out if he needs to close out of an app after he uses it. I think he probably does. 

[happykitteh]

GreatKazu - It sounds like a kidney stone. I've had them 3 times and while the pain is usually an EXTREMELY intense flank pain, the first time I had one it presented like you've described. I had pain in my pelvic area that I thought was a ruptured ovarian cyst. It would continue for a few hours then go away for a few hours or overnight. You need to go to the ER if you can't get an immediate appt with a urologist and have a CT scan or IVP xray to see if it's a kidney stone. If it's in the lower part of your ureter near the bladder that could be why you're having pelvic pain. It could also be interstitial cystitis (which I also have) but that also causes very frequent urination, like every couple minute you feel like you have to pee, in addition to the pain - which isn't near as intense as stone pain. I hope you're feeling better. Urology problems are a bitch!

[druzy]

15 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Wondering about @GreatKazu. How you feeling? Any answers?

@GreatKazu check in when you get a chance.

[IDreamofJoaquin]

This seems like a good place to post this since we talk about fertility quite a bit on the TM forums. 

I was a SAHM for my son until he was 6 1/2.  3 months after I started my new career I became pregnant with my daughter (very surprised, thought I would only have 1 child due to difficulty getting pregnant).   I took about a year with my daughter but then wanted to start working fulltime again.  Having extra money is nice, we don't need very much childcare between our two schedules and I want to stay on my new career path.  For us we don't care what anyone else does but we always thought replacing just ourselves was the way to go and two was enough.  My husband had a vasectomy.  My daughter is such a sweet little girl and is extremely passionate about babies. I think she would make a great older sister.  I loved being pregnant and even loved giving birth.  We aren't going to spend the money on getting a reversal but now I just regret it so much.  I do want another child. It's not going to happen and we won't adopt due to personal trauma I have experienced with sibling adoption.  Now every month when I get my period I feel so sad even though it's nearly impossible I will become pregnant.  It is the sadness I felt every month when we tried really hard all those years to have a second child.  I would like this feeling to go away so bad because it's such an empty and sad feeling.  Did anyone else feel that way after you knew you may not being having more children? 

[mamadrama]

20 minutes ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

This seems like a good place to post this since we talk about fertility quite a bit on the TM forums. 

I was a SAHM for my son until he was 6 1/2.  3 months after I started my new career I became pregnant with my daughter (very surprised, thought I would only have 1 child due to difficulty getting pregnant).   I took about a year with my daughter but then wanted to start working fulltime again.  Having extra money is nice, we don't need very much childcare between our two schedules and I want to stay on my new career path.  For us we don't care what anyone else does but we always thought replacing just ourselves was the way to go and two was enough.  My husband had a vasectomy.  My daughter is such a sweet little girl and is extremely passionate about babies. I think she would make a great older sister.  I loved being pregnant and even loved giving birth.  We aren't going to spend the money on getting a reversal but now I just regret it so much.  I do want another child. It's not going to happen and we won't adopt due to personal trauma I have experienced with sibling adoption.  Now every month when I get my period I feel so sad even though it's nearly impossible I will become pregnant.  It is the sadness I felt every month when we tried really hard all those years to have a second child.  I would like this feeling to go away so bad because it's such an empty and sad feeling.  Did anyone else feel that way after you knew you may not being having more children? 

I understand where you're coming from. I had a hysterectomy at 31 (my connective tissue disorder caused my uterus to rupture). I knew that it was coming, knew that my daughter (now 6) would be my last, and thought that I'd prepared for it. Now that my kids are older, though, I am starting to feel the "pang" more and more. On the one hand, I really don't think I could go back to having another infant. That first year or so is really hard and I remember how difficult it was on our marriage. On the other hand, I almost feel like I am grieving, in a sense. To see my friends with newborns just starting out-I don't know. It's like I am now grieving that those days are over, that period in my life is finished. I'll never have it again. I guess maybe I'm not explaining it very well? I imagine it's how empty nesters feel when their children first move out. And yes, it's very sad and empty. :-( I don't know how to make it better, though I am focusing on trying not to take THIS period for granted because one day it will be gone as well. 

I was meant to have a hysterectomy after the birth of my second son. He died 3 days before I was scheduled to have it done. I canceled the surgery, of course, because it fell during his funeral. A month after he died I returned to the doctor and said, "I know how crazy this is going to sound but I'm not finished being a mother. Now that I know what it's like to have two children, I know what I'll be missing out on. I want to have another one." I mean, clearly I was grieving and probably not thinking rationally but my OBGYN backed me up. He said he'd help me with a third if I wanted to try, but that due to the shape of my uterus I needed to do it right THEN. So I did. My son was born on July 5th, my daughter came on July 14th the following year. I spent the majority of that pregnancy in the hospital and it almost killed us both. I'm glad I wasn't thinking rationally, though, because I can't even imagine a life without my daughter. I actually lost a lot of friends over that pregnancy because people thought I was nuts, but I didn't care. The joyful anticipation of her arrival saved my life. I don't know that I'd be here without her. She gave my family a fresh start. 

[mamadrama]

I'll make a second post about Stubby. His little tummy got bloated and distended over the weekend so they went ahead and did his surgery. There's some fluid leakage and slight bleeding whenever he has a bowel movement but he's mostly doing okay now. He loves to snuggle!

[IDreamofJoaquin]

13 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

I guess maybe I'm not explaining it very well?

You explained everything beautifully and I understood all of it.   I am very sorry to hear about your son, I have seen you mention him before. 

My friend and her wife have one child already which my friend carried.  They both are 40 and both have medical issues that make it difficult for them to carry but not impossible. My friend kind of jokingly said I could be their surrogate (they have an embryo ready but her wife has to prepare medically before they continue) but also is not joking.  I would not be getting paid a traditional surrogate fee.  We both said it was a very large and hard decision.  I would love to be pregnant and give birth again but wonder if I could do it and how I would handle not having the baby with me immediately after giving birth.  Hormonally I wonder what the recovery time is like and if I would be able to personally handle it.

[mamadrama]

15 minutes ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

You explained everything beautifully and I understood all of it.   I am very sorry to hear about your son, I have seen you mention him before. 

My friend and her wife have one child already which my friend carried.  They both are 40 and both have medical issues that make it difficult for them to carry but not impossible. My friend kind of jokingly said I could be their surrogate (they have an embryo ready but her wife has to prepare medically before they continue) but also is not joking.  I would not be getting paid a traditional surrogate fee.  We both said it was a very large and hard decision.  I would love to be pregnant and give birth again but wonder if I could do it and how I would handle not having the baby with me immediately after giving birth.  Hormonally I wonder what the recovery time is like and if I would be able to personally handle it.

I think, for me at least, it would be very hard. One of the worst things about losing my son is that, hormonally and physically, I still felt like I had a newborn in the house. He was 2 months old when he died. I still had milk, my body still looked a little pregnant (it takes me forever to lose the weight), and nothing had chemically returned to where it was meant to be. Plus, my instincts still told me that a baby continued to be around. I would awaken every 2 hours to feed him or to listen for his cries. I couldn't let myself fall into a deep sleep. And the absolute worst part was that my arms felt so empty. For 2 months I'd barely had a second to myself-I'd held him almost constantly. Now, suddenly, I didn't have a thing to do with my arms. I took to carrying around a pillow. I think this is one of the reasons why I rushed to get pregnant again-my body told me that I had an infant to care for. It refused to allow me to admit that my baby was gone so, psychologically, I needed to FIND MY BABY. 

I honestly don't know what it would be like, though, to give the baby up right away. It might be bad, but in a different kind of way. If it's something that you think you could handle, though, then I could see it being a very good opportunity for you to be able to carry a baby and give birth again-especially since you like those parts. :-)

[ghoulina]

I think parenthood, pregnancy, fertility, etc. is such a complicated mess. I have 3 children. They are 9, 8, and 6 - all roughly 20 months apart. My two boys were planned. In fact, with my first son, we struggled to get pregnant. It took us 1.5 years of active try to get pregnant. We were told "undiagnosed infertility", and I truly wondered if we would ever become pregnant at all. Month after month of no positive pregnancy tests....it was awful. But my second two were super easy to conceive. My daughter was actually a surprise. My husband had been overseas and came home unexpectedly early. I had meant to get on BC, because we didn't want to have another for a few more years, but with his early arrival, it hadn't happened yet. And, well, I wasn't going to not have sex after not seeing him in 7 months!!!! So yea, we got pregnant right away. 

I actually hated that pregnancy. I had a 1-year-old and 3-year-old. I was so sick and tired, but I got no relief. And we were not doing well financially. I was just not happy or excited about it. At all. And then I felt a lot of guilt about that. But my daughter is perfect! I love her so much and cannot imagine our family without her. 

Once she was born, I got an IUD. Still have it. (Thank God for that Paragard 10 year life span.) I don't want any more kids. My daughter has special needs and I'm at my limit emotionally, physically, etc. I never really experienced baby fever after her. Was never jealous of all my younger sisters who started having kids when my daughter was 3 (I now have 3 nieces and 2 nephews). But, at first, getting my period still upset me. I think it was all those years of TTC. It sticks with you. I was wired to see getting my period as a disappointment. Another failure. It took me a loooong time to move past that, even if the logical side of me knew it was a good thing. 

Now, here lately, I'm starting to feel badly about not having another. My boys are best friends and play together constantly. My younger son has a great relationship with my daughter and plays with her a lot too. But my oldest son and my daughter do NOT get along. It's gotten really bad recently. He seems to resent her, or acts like he just can't stand her. He can get pretty mean, and we're struggling on how to handle this. But she feels left out a lot, and part of me wishes I'd had another baby, so she'd have someone to pair off with. Realistically, I DO NOT want more kids. I love that all 3 of my kids are self sufficient. We can do so many things together. I have no desire to add diapers and strollers and feedings every few hours into the mix. No thank you. But I feel some regret about not having another one years ago, that would be closer in age to her. Someone SHE could play with when the boys are having their time. 

Sorry about rambling. but I think these feelings are normal @IDreamofJoaquin. For me, they tend to ebb and flow. I do think it gets easier with time. But some of that stuff gets so hardwired into our brains, it's hard to let go. I just try to focus on the hear and now, and being grateful. But that's usually easier said than done! 

[DudeLeaveMeAlone]

14 hours ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

My friend and her wife have one child already which my friend carried.  They both are 40 and both have medical issues that make it difficult for them to carry but not impossible. My friend kind of jokingly said I could be their surrogate (they have an embryo ready but her wife has to prepare medically before they continue) but also is not joking.  I would not be getting paid a traditional surrogate fee.  We both said it was a very large and hard decision.  I would love to be pregnant and give birth again but wonder if I could do it and how I would handle not having the baby with me immediately after giving birth.  Hormonally I wonder what the recovery time is like and if I would be able to personally handle it.

This is so strange that I saw this today. I am seriously considering becoming a surrogate. My family is complete with two children, but I had very easy pregnancies and wouldn't mind doing it again. I am comfortable with carrying a child I know is not mine and giving another family the opportunity to have their own child. I will not miss in the newborn/infant stage (except that new baby smell) and the lack of sleep, but getting through another pregnancy wouldn't be that hard for me. My husband has to agree to the background check and psychological evaluation requirements, and he isn't quite there yet. I can't explain to him this feeling that I have that I have been called to do this. I really want to do this for someone.

[IDreamofJoaquin]

I appreciate the personal candor and time all of you took to talk about your experiences.  I am having a hard time responding in detail as I have a co-worker near me but I wanted to acknowledge the comments made.

I do have bipolar disorder so that is a huge factor.   I'll have to think hard on this.   My supervisor also told us she was leaving today so that leaves her position open I may apply for.   Life always has so much up in the air!!   Hopefully someday the sadness of not having another will pass.

[teapot]

3 minutes ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

I appreciate the personal candor and time all of you took to talk about your experiences.  I am having a hard time responding in detail as I have a co-worker near me but I wanted to acknowledge the comments made.

I do have bipolar disorder so that is a huge factor.   I'll have to think hard on this.   My supervisor also told us she was leaving today so that leaves her position open I may apply for.   Life always has so much up in the air!!   Hopefully someday the sadness of not having another will pass.

at the risk of being on-show-topic:

hold on, you're going for a PROMOTION?  you're not going to put on your onesie & hole up in your bed & not see your kids for an entire summer?  well, I mean, I guess your life choices are entirely up to you....

and best of luck with whatever choices you take on!  we're rooting for ya!!

[GreatKazu]

On ‎3‎/‎28‎/‎2018 at 9:04 PM, IDreamofJoaquin said:

This seems like a good place to post this since we talk about fertility quite a bit on the TM forums. 

I was a SAHM for my son until he was 6 1/2.  3 months after I started my new career I became pregnant with my daughter (very surprised, thought I would only have 1 child due to difficulty getting pregnant).   I took about a year with my daughter but then wanted to start working fulltime again.  Having extra money is nice, we don't need very much childcare between our two schedules and I want to stay on my new career path.  For us we don't care what anyone else does but we always thought replacing just ourselves was the way to go and two was enough.  My husband had a vasectomy.  My daughter is such a sweet little girl and is extremely passionate about babies. I think she would make a great older sister.  I loved being pregnant and even loved giving birth.  We aren't going to spend the money on getting a reversal but now I just regret it so much.  I do want another child. It's not going to happen and we won't adopt due to personal trauma I have experienced with sibling adoption.  Now every month when I get my period I feel so sad even though it's nearly impossible I will become pregnant.  It is the sadness I felt every month when we tried really hard all those years to have a second child.  I would like this feeling to go away so bad because it's such an empty and sad feeling.  Did anyone else feel that way after you knew you may not being having more children? 

I am so sorry for what you are going through and how you are feeling. I am definitely not the right person to respond to your question because I couldn't wait to have my tubes tied after my last child. But for a short while, I did feel a bit sad because I knew what I was doing was permanent and there would be no more babies coming out of me. Any chance you would consider adoption? 

@ghoulina I remember when we purchased a phone for our kid when he was in high school. We kept getting messages about our data at 75% or 90%. It was barely a two weeks into the month when I'd get those notifications. I'd call our service provider and they were a big help since I was not at all tech saavy at the time about cell phones. I was told to turn off his notifications for his various apps (Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, email etc.)  since they continue to run and use date in the background when he wasn't around Wi-Fi. Also, he would tell me how sometimes he would get kicked off Wi-Fi which can also use up data since he was accessing his apps. I kept freaking out because on two occasions he went over data and it cost us an additional $15 for the bill. Over time, he learned to make sure he was using Wi-Fi, but it was still a bitch worrying about that stupid notification and looking at that data pie. Eventually, when we upgraded we also acquired a bit more data which helped the situation. Now, if he passes data, we don't pay more. It just slows down when we aren't around Wi-Fi and that continues until the next billing cycle and things go back to normal.  So, basically just have your husband make sure his email and all other apps are not running in the background. Once he taps on any app to access it, it will synch itself. It reads like you were told that already up above, but just wanted to chime in and let you know our experience. 

Okay, I had a CT scan the day before yesterday. Something was mentioned about density appearing on the scan, but the specialist today told me it was more like a shadow. Whatever that means. He then set me up for a colonoscopy on Tuesday. That means I am going to eat up real good on Easter Sunday and then purge it all out on Monday. lol  I had one two years ago, but with this pain, he wants to see if there is anything going on there. I also have an appointment with a general surgeon next week. I may have to have laparoscopic surgery.   

Thank you all for your concern and advice! 

@DudeLeaveMeAlone That is awesome. What a wonderful thing you would be doing for someone. 

Edited March 30, 2018 by GreatKazu

[Emkat]

8 hours ago, DudeLeaveMeAlone said:

This is so strange that I saw this today. I am seriously considering becoming a surrogate. My family is complete with two children, but I had very easy pregnancies and wouldn't mind doing it again. I am comfortable with carrying a child I know is not mine and giving another family the opportunity to have their own child. I will not miss in the newborn/infant stage (except that new baby smell) and the lack of sleep, but getting through another pregnancy wouldn't be that hard for me. My husband has to agree to the background check and psychological evaluation requirements, and he isn't quite there yet. I can't explain to him this feeling that I have that I have been called to do this. I really want to do this for someone.

If you truly feel that way and have considered everything like you said; then I would encourage you to go for it (if you can convince your husband). You sound like you would be a great candidate and would be such a blessing to someone out there. I admire you!

[ghoulina]

16 hours ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

I appreciate the personal candor and time all of you took to talk about your experiences.  I am having a hard time responding in detail as I have a co-worker near me but I wanted to acknowledge the comments made.

I do have bipolar disorder so that is a huge factor.   I'll have to think hard on this.   My supervisor also told us she was leaving today so that leaves her position open I may apply for.   Life always has so much up in the air!!   Hopefully someday the sadness of not having another will pass.

Doesn't it??? I stress soooo much when there are so many variables, but then something usually presents itself and the other things fall through and it all works out. I think whatever you choose, you will rock it! 

 

10 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Okay, I had a CT scan the day before yesterday. Something was mentioned about density appearing on the scan, but the specialist today told me it was more like a shadow. Whatever that means. He then set me up for a colonoscopy on Tuesday. That means I am going to eat up real good on Easter Sunday and then purge it all out on Monday. lol  I had one two years ago, but with this pain, he wants to see if there is anything going on there. I also have an appointment with a general surgeon next week. I may have to have laparoscopic surgery.   

Thank you for continuing to keep us updated. I hope it's something minor that can be worked out quickly. Hang in there!

[IDreamofJoaquin]

@teapot   I am actually going to see my kids THREE TIMES.  First we are going to get massages. They are 9 and 2 but who cares!  Then we are going to look at new homes and those homes better not have a goddamn stackable washer and dryer,  Next up I am going to take them to visit my dad where he will saw off their shoes.  So many fun times with them.

 

@GreatKazu  thanks!  Good to hear your news and keep us updated.  No, we won't adopt.  I had (have?) adopted siblings and it was really terrible.  So while it's a great option for many people, and I work in social services with foster kids, it is not for us.

[ghoulina]

4 hours ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

@teapot   I am actually going to see my kids THREE TIMES.  First we are going to get massages. They are 9 and 2 but who cares!  Then we are going to look at new homes and those homes better not have a goddamn stackable washer and dryer,  Next up I am going to take them to visit my dad where he will saw off their shoes.  So many fun times with them.

And make sure if they act up you tell them over and over that they're just like their father. 

[GreatKazu]

10 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

And make sure if they act up you tell them over and over that they're just like their father. 

lol  Good ol' Mack. 

4 hours ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

@teapot   I am actually going to see my kids THREE TIMES.  First we are going to get massages. They are 9 and 2 but who cares!  Then we are going to look at new homes and those homes better not have a goddamn stackable washer and dryer,  Next up I am going to take them to visit my dad where he will saw off their shoes.  So many fun times with them.

 

@GreatKazu  thanks!  Good to hear your news and keep us updated.  No, we won't adopt.  I had (have?) adopted siblings and it was really terrible.  So while it's a great option for many people, and I work in social services with foster kids, it is not for us.

Oh, I am sorry about the experience. I hope something works out for you. 

[christie]

20 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Okay, I had a CT scan the day before yesterday. Something was mentioned about density appearing on the scan, but the specialist today told me it was more like a shadow. Whatever that means. He then set me up for a colonoscopy on Tuesday. That means I am going to eat up real good on Easter Sunday and then purge it all out on Monday. lol  I had one two years ago, but with this pain, he wants to see if there is anything going on there. I also have an appointment with a general surgeon next week. I may have to have laparoscopic surgery.   

Thank you all for your concern and advice! 

You can eat whatever you want? My mum had a colonoscopy a few months ago and for three days before the test she was not to eat certain foods. I can't remember what her doctor told her (I can ask her if you like) but I do remember that the day before she was only allowed clear soups (with noodles), tea, coffee and juices. I hope everythings going to be ok.

[GreatKazu]

40 minutes ago, christie said:

You can eat whatever you want? My mum had a colonoscopy a few months ago and for three days before the test she was not to eat certain foods. I can't remember what her doctor told her (I can ask her if you like) but I do remember that the day before she was only allowed clear soups (with noodles), tea, coffee and juices. I hope everythings going to be ok.

Yes. I am going to eat all I want on Easter Sunday and I am going to be on a clear diet the day after to prepare me for the colonoscopy on Tuesday morning. I actually have to start my clear diet at 10 a.m. on Monday morning and drink that stuff that will purge everything out of me. Thank you for your concern. :-) 

[IDreamofJoaquin]

22 hours ago, ghoulina said:

And make sure if they act up you tell them over and over that they're just like their father. 

I'll probably just tell them they are acting like a little bitch and put their nose in the corner.  I get all my best parenting skills from UBT.

 

BYE Y'ALL!!!!  I am off to the Redwoods and the beach for Spring Break!!  I'll be scrambling to get caught up with all my shows when I get back.  Talk to you later!!

[GreatKazu]

22 hours ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

I'll probably just tell them they are acting like a little bitch and put their nose in the corner.  I get all my best parenting skills from UBT.

 

BYE Y'ALL!!!!  I am off to the Redwoods and the beach for Spring Break!!  I'll be scrambling to get caught up with all my shows when I get back.  Talk to you later!!

Enjoy!

Awww Redwoods are a favorite place of mine. Gorgeous. 

Happy Easter everyone!

[guilfoyleatpp]

Happy Easter all!

@GreatKazu, thinking good thoughts for your scopy! Hubs had kidney stones and he almost passed out before he finally went to the doctor. They gave him oxy. That's no joke.

I'm hoping that it was a stone and it's passed. 

@mamadrama the Stubby story is so amazing...I can't imagine the horror of interrupting mid-kitten eating. I would have freaked out and run off and then come back and it would have been too late.

[ghoulina]

Hope everyone had a lovely holiday. We are on spring break from homeschooling this week. I hope to get a lot accomplished, but in reality....I'll probably laze around too much!!!

[mamadrama]

On 4/1/2018 at 8:01 PM, guilfoyleatpp said:

 

@mamadrama the Stubby story is so amazing...I can't imagine the horror of interrupting mid-kitten eating. I would have freaked out and run off and then come back and it would have been too late.

That's what happened with the first kitten. I got in there and it was too late-half of the poor thing had been eaten (the lower half) yet it was still alive and crying. I had a major freakout moment. I came back out of our woodshed kind of screaming. My husband and I stood there for a good five minutes, listening to those cries until they stopped. We didn't know what to do. He then went in and cleaned it up so that I wouldn't have to see it. My son and I were on our way out of town (our county's high school basketball team made the Sweet 16 for the first time in our state's history and they shut down half the county, including school and court, so that we could all go). When we got back, I went back out to the woodshed and saw that the mother cat had given birth to another kitten, Stubby. It had apparently JUST happened because the kitten was cleaned off yet. When I saw all the blood coming out of it, I just went in and picked it up, slime and all. At that point I saw that its tail had been eaten off. My husband said that he'd been checking on the woodshed all morning but there were at least 5 hours between the births. I don't know if she would have eaten anymore of Stubbs or not if I hadn't found him. :-(  He's almost 2 weeks old now. Although he's still VERY tiny (about the size of an 8-day old kitten) he's otherwise healthy. He had his bowel surgery and that wound is clearing up now. I am so mad at that cat. The rational side of me knows that it's just nature but the other side of me hisses "bitch" whenever I see her running over the fields. 

[monicageller]

It's Wednesday here which Google tells me is Tuesday night in California-- how are you @GreatKazu? I hope everything went ok.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Buddies....

I hardly ever post in Small Talk but I felt like I had to tell my PTV "Family."  I spend more "time" with ya'll than any of my friends anyway (not counting my hubby and kids, of course). 

I have ovarian cancer. 

I've been feeling really rundown since around Thanksgiving and some weird issues that I thought were linked to possible hypothyroid or maybe even peri-menopause (I'm 35) and just exhaustion from having 2 kids 3 & under and full-time job.  I finally had my annual blood work done last month for my GP and I had severe iron deficiency anemia, almost to the point of needing to be hospitalized for a blood transfusion.  Because I work and have two small kids, the doctor was okay with going with the IV iron infusions (which have helped a lot with the fatigue).  But they didn't know what was causing the anemia.  I've had heavy cycles since having my kids, so my GYN ordered a pelvic ultrasound, which found complex cysts on each ovary.  

I've just found out the cysts are cancerous.  They don't believe it has spread, which is amazing news (but the doctor cautioned me she'll get a better look around when I have my hysterectomy). My cousin had a similar situation- she had a cyst that turned out to be cancer and they did a total hysterectomy & also took out her appendix and gallbladder, just in case (as it apparently spreads there next).  My aunt died from ovarian cancer and my mom had a hysterectomy in her late 40s for the same reason....so I guess I knew this was coming one day.  I just guess I didn't think it was coming this soon & when my kids are still so small.  If anything happened to me, my one year old daughter certainly wouldn't remember me and I don't think my three year-old son would remember much either. Also, I had my tubes removed in December 2016 because I'm done having kids AND there's research showing that removing the Fallopian tubes can lower chances of ovarian cancer....so I'm kind of pissed I went through that surgery and spent money on it. (I know that's stupid to be pissed about but, hey...I get to be somewhat irrational right now, right?) I thought it would at least buy me more time. 

I'm just scared, buddies. I know it's not the worst case scenario and it appears they've caught it quickly.  I'm scared because my aunt died a horrible death from it. I'm scared not for me, but for my kids. I have no siblings. My parents are in their 70s - my dad's siblings are all dead & my mom is an only child. Since my dad was in the military (as were many of his brothers), the cousins all ended up all over the US and none of us grew up together or know each other that well. I'm worried that if I die, my kids won't ever "know" me or my family.  (Of course, I'm also worried about my husband supporting two kids and being able to work a nurse's schedule around daycare hours as we have no family close by to help. Heck, I'm worried about the financial cost of my surgeries/tests/doctors visits even with health insurance now and my husband missing work to be with me. And of course I'm worried for my husband if anything happened to me, but he is an adult.) I'm worried about my kids growing up in a world without their mother. I'm not even afraid to die even though I'm not sure there's any form of afterlife, I just don't want to not be with my kids or them not be with me. (Now I'm getting stabby thinking about the non-moms on TM like Jenelle and Amber ugh.) I know that is a big over-reaction since they don't think it has spread and it should be a surgery-and-done situation, but I just had to tell someone that I'm scared. 

Thanks for listening to me, buddies.  

Edited April 4, 2018 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[druzy]

@MyPeopleAreNordic I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am praying for you and your family and sending out good vibes to the Universe. Is there anything I can do? 

[teapot]

9 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Buddies....

I hardly ever post in Small Talk but I felt like I had to tell my PTV "Family."  I spend more "time" with ya'll than any of my friends anyway (not counting my hubby and kids, of course). 

I have ovarian cancer. 

I've been feeling really rundown since around Thanksgiving and some weird issues that I thought were linked to possible hypothyroid or maybe even peri-menopause (I'm 35) and just exhaustion from having 2 kids 3 & under and full-time job.  I finally had my annual blood work done last month for my GP and I had severe iron deficiency anemia, almost to the point of needing to be hospitalized for a blood transfusion.  Because I work and have two small kids, the doctor was okay with going with the IV iron infusions (which have helped a lot with the fatigue).  But they didn't know what was causing the anemia.  I've had heavy cycles since having my kids, so my GYN ordered a pelvic ultrasound, which found complex cysts on each ovary.  

I've just found out the cysts are cancerous.  They don't believe it has spread, which is amazing news (but the doctor cautioned me she'll get a better look around when I have my hysterectomy). My cousin had a similar situation- she had a cyst that turned out to be cancer and they did a total hysterectomy & also took out her appendix and gallbladder, just in case (as it apparently spreads there next).  My aunt died from ovarian cancer and my mom had a hysterectomy in her late 40s for the same reason....so I guess I knew this was coming one day.  I just guess I didn't think it was coming this soon & when my kids are still so small.  If anything happened to me, my one year old daughter certainly wouldn't remember me and I don't think my three year-old son would remember much either. Also, I had my tubes removed in December 2016 because I'm done having kids AND there's research showing that removing the Fallopian tubes can lower chances of ovarian cancer....so I'm kind of pissed I went through that surgery and spent money on it. (I know that's stupid to be pissed about but, hey...I get to be somewhat irrational right now, right?) I thought it would at least buy me more time. 

I'm just scared, buddies. I know it's not the worst case scenario and it appears they've caught it quickly.  I'm scared because my aunt died a horrible death from it. I'm scared not for me, but for my kids. I have no siblings. My parents are in their 70s - my dad's siblings are all dead & my mom is an only child. Since my dad was in the military (as were many of his brothers), the cousins all ended up all over the US and none of us grew up together or know each other that well. I'm worried that if I die, my kids won't ever "know" me or my family.  (Of course, I'm also worried about my husband supporting two kids and being able to work a nurse's schedule around daycare hours as we have no family close by to help. Heck, I'm worried about the financial cost of my surgeries/tests/doctors visits even with health insurance now and my husband missing work to be with me. And of course I'm worried for my husband if anything happened to me, but he is an adult.) I'm worried about my kids growing up in a world without their mother. I'm not even afraid to die even though I'm not sure there's any form of afterlife, I just don't want to not be with my kids or them not be with me. (Now I'm getting stabby thinking about the non-moms on TM like Jenelle and Amber ugh.) I know that is a big over-reaction since they don't think it has spread and it should be a surgery-and-done situation, but I just had to tell someone that I'm scared. 

Thanks for listening to me, buddies.  

here's hoping for a quick recovery and that this is just all an unpleasant memory very, very soon!

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

10 minutes ago, druzy said:

@MyPeopleAreNordic I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am praying for you and your family and sending out good vibes to the Universe. Is there anything I can do? 

Just "listening" & allowing me to rant is so much, @druzy and other Buddies. Thank ya'll. 

[druzy]

You're not ranting you are sharing, that's what Buddies do. We laugh together, cry together, and snark on overpaid reality stars together. Keep sharing, we are here for you.

[ginger90]

Good thoughts and healing vibes going out to you, @MYPEOPLEARENORDIC

[Bridget]

@MyPeopleAreNordic,

I cannot even imagine how you're feeling, and I know better than to tell you about about other cancer survivors I know and say "Don't worry...blah blah..." This is YOUR fight and it's all about you right now. 

You're allowed to feel like you made an irrational choice by tying your tubes. That's why we all freakin hate hindsight!

I think it's healthy to embrace every single emotion running through your body, let yourself feel them and let them all out when you're ready. Starting today, it is all about you and what's best for you and your family in terms of starting your fight to kick cancer's ass.

I'm sending you tons of love and peace during this time.

?

[ghoulina]

@MyPeopleAreNordic - I am so so sorry to hear this news. I cannot even begin to imagine what you're going through right now. I could never fully relate, having never been in your position, but I completely understand what you are saying about your kids. I am hoping and praying that you have many many many more years with them! Please keep us updated and know we're hear for you any time. (((HUGS)))

[guilfoyleatpp]

@MyPeopleAreNordic many good thoughts and lots of strength being sent your way.

You are amazing. You are thoughtful. Lots of support from PNW!

[mamadrama]

3 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Just "listening" & allowing me to rant is so much, @druzy and other Buddies. Thank ya'll. 

Aw, dude, I'm sorry about what's going on. :-( I won't minimize your feelings by telling you everything will be okay (I hate it when people do that to me) but I will say that we're all rooting for you and thinking about you. 

[MaddyMaeboxerbabe]

@MyPeopleAreNordic sending healing thoughts and a great big virtual hug to you!