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S06.E17 Kirsten, Michael & Roni


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Kirsten must finally become independent to get the full gastric bypass surgery she feels she needs; Michael struggles to lose and still battles anger issues; and Michael's wife, Roni, wants her own surgery .  

It's another "where are they now?" type episode.  It shows as three hours but we have reason to believe it is another 2 hour, 15 minute or so episode. Plan accordingly!

This is the regular episode thread.  It will be open after the US East Coast showing.  

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2 minutes ago, 3girlsforus said:

There was a post from the live thread that hoped it was an accident but she said he wouldn’t open the door once her hand was in it. He’s an abusive asshole. 

Yep, her son screamed and banged on the door telling him her hand was stuck. Pos said..karma. 

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Please someone clear something up for me. It was my impression that Michael was not the kids' biological father. Also, I believe that at some point Roni said they had been together for only ten years and the children are teenagers. Whatever the situation, at least she got out of there alive which is better than a lot of women.

I know I give her a hard time but I really liked Dr. Baby Voice's advice to Roni especially about how much danger women are in when they leave their abusers, that often they end up being murdered.

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6 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

Please someone clear something up for me. It was my impression that Michael was not the kids' biological father. Also, I believe that at some point Roni said they had been together for only ten years and the children are teenagers. Whatever the situation, at least she got out of there alive which is better than a lot of women.

 

Those are not his biological kids. He treated them like servants though and was especially hard on the boy. I’m sure he’s got his own demons, but I absolutely cannot stand this guy. He’s not even fun to hatewatch, a la clean yer vag penny or ow ma laygs James.

Edited by CringeWatcher
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I don't care for abusers, nor parents who allow their children to live in a house with them.  I don't know what happened exactly with her injury, but, when things are physical, it's dangerous and past the time to seek safety. If it was an accident, the situation was still bad and not conducive to the family's mental health. 

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3 hours ago, CringeWatcher said:

Those are not his biological kids. He treated them like servants though and was especially hard on the boy. I’m sure he’s got his own demons, but I absolutely cannot stand this guy. He’s not even fun to hatewatch, a la clean yer vag penny or ow ma laygs James.

Thanks CringeWatcher, that's what I thought. I remember boiling whenever he mistreated them during their original episode. The saddest thing was to hear those kids call him "dad" since he was probably the most constant male parental figure in their lives; never did hear much about bio dad (guess he was a real winner too). He's such an immature idiot throwing away the love of those two lovely children since it appeared that they did love him. So sad.

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7 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I don't care for abusers, nor parents who allow their children to live in a house with them.  I don't know what happened exactly with her injury, but, when things are physical, it's dangerous and past the time to seek safety. If it was an accident, the situation was still bad and not conducive to the family's mental health. 

ITA SunnyBeBe. Accident or not--IMHO it was NOT an accident--they had a very sick dynamic in their relationship.

From what I have heard from experts on domestic violence, these relationships go through phases. First, there is the honeymoon phase when everything is all lovey dovey. Then there's the tension phase with the abuser becoming more and more difficult and nasty, while the abused person walks on eggshells trying not to piss them off. Next, the explosion phase where the abuser just goes off, often resulting in threats and possibly violence. What's really weird is that experts say often the abused will start an argument, or escalate one, with the abuser just to end the unbearable tension and "get it over with." Kind of sounds like that's what Roni did when she kicked the bathroom door in to get him to talk to her. Personally, if an abusive man walked away from me during an argument and locked himself in the bathroom, I'd leave him alone, though he absolutely had no right to slam her hand in the door.

Then, of course there's the make up phase where the abuser says he's so sorry, it'll never happen again, he really loves her and that somehow she drove him to behave that way and she believes him (again) and takes him back. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Glad that she and her kids got out alive. I hope that she sticks with her therapy so that she doesn't end up with another one like Michael.

Edited by DC Gal in VA
Typo.
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13 hours ago, AVM said:

One of the most shocking episodes ever, I hope Michael is charged with  bodily injury or worse..He is dangerous ..

Agreed! I realize Roni may not have the stomach for it, but she needs to do this or he will hurt someone else. 

What he did to her was criminal in the most literal sense of the word. My heart went out to her! She is permanently transfigured because of the rage of this gigantic babyman! Shame on him!

And God bless Dr. Now for his compassion and his ability to keep a cool head and say the right thing in any given situation. Seriously, in a world of reality television craziness, this man is a hero!

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1 hour ago, DC Gal in VA said:

Thanks CringeWatcher, that's what I thought. I remember boiling whenever he mistreated them during their original episode. The saddest thing was to hear those kids call him "dad" since he was probably the most constant male parental figure in their lives; never did hear much about bio dad (guess he was a real winner too). He's such an immature idiot throwing away the love of those two lovely children since it appeared that they did love him. So sad.

He's like that a$$hole, Lee. The moment he started losing weight and getting a modicum of energy, he channeled it into abuse. And, Lee was still so f-ing lazy that he didn't even get up out of his chair, he would just sit there and kick at his wife because he was still a big lardass. Both of these "men" dressed more like teenagers and responded to Dr. Now like rebellious teenaged sons, and even though there are no bad kids, they, as adults, were just bad-acting human beings. Lee was worse. He dressed like this oversized, neon gangbanger. What gang was he in? They needed to grow the f up and have some compassion for someone else besides themselves. 

14 hours ago, Tarar said:

Yep, her son screamed and banged on the door telling him her hand was stuck. Pos said..karma. 

Still watching the show and just saw where she pressed charges. Good for her! 

He needs to pay for his CRIME before he hurts someone else!!!

Edited by CoachWristletJen
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5 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

He's like that a$$hole, Lee. The moment he started losing weight and getting a modicum of energy, he channeled it into abuse. And, Lee was still so f-ing lazy that he didn't even get up out of his chair, he would just sit there and kick at his wife because he was still a big lardass. Both of these "men" dressed more like teenagers and responded to Dr. Now like rebellious teenaged sons, and even though there are no bad kids, they, as adults, were just bad-acting human beings. Lee was worse. He dressed like this oversized, neon gangbanger. What gang was he in? They needed to grow the f up and have some compassion for someone else besides themselves. 

I don't know how it works with prosecuting but perhaps if someone brings the show to the attention of the DA's office they can move forward with pressing charges without her assistance?

And perhaps with the aid of Dr. Baby Voice, she would cooperate in the process? 

Not sure how that works but perhaps someone else here does? Again, he needs to pay for his CRIME before he hurts someone else!!!

Yes! Lee! The man I thought was a topless woman for the first 15 minutes of the episode! 

As an avid 600 lb watcher, I was wondering why I didn’t remember Michael. I soon realized it was because I saw his episode once and barely at that, because he was such a piece of shit even then. Petulant man baby. He’s probably accustomed to having every single need met, lest his constant whining be heard through the deserts of Arizona and beyond. Roni, file charges. This dude will do this to someone else, this and much worse. I actually breathed out a sigh of relief when she said she was divorcing.  When she said she had no idea where he was when he left after their fight, I was certain that he is probably shacking up with someone else he met that wasn’t fortunate enough to see what baby he is. There are some sad people out there.

Kristen's affect is so strange to me. I think she feels her behavior is a lot cuter than it actually is, that incident with her trying to get her mother making the taco meat or whatever was so odd. She acts like a 14-year-old. She eats SO. FAST. Good for her for making progress.

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8 minutes ago, Bugfrey Von said:

Kristen's affect is so strange to me. I think she feels her behavior is a lot cuter than it actually is, that incident with her trying to get her mother making the taco meat or whatever was so odd. She acts like a 14-year-old. She eats SO. FAST. Good for her for making progress.

Someone mentioned in live chat that Kirsten’s years of being a drug addict left her basically a teenager emotionally.  Honestly her children are more mature than she is, but she did at least follow the diet.

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47 minutes ago, ThereButFor said:

Someone mentioned in live chat that Kirsten’s years of being a drug addict left her basically a teenager emotionally.  Honestly her children are more mature than she is, but she did at least follow the diet.

I really wish that Kirsten had stayed in Texas and perhaps gotten involved in a 12-step program like Narcotics Anonymous. She would have met people and felt a lot less lonely. She could have attended a meeting every day, every evening, twice a day if she so desired. And, it would be a great place for her to talk about her issues with both substances, and eating.

I agree with what's been said about her strange affect. She makes some of the oddest faces I've ever seen. Like, Kirsten, please stop inflicting that on us! It was as though she's in agony, but that's not even an appropriate face for one to make when feeling agony, trying to make both sides of her mouth go diagonally to opposite ends of her face at once. I had hoped that seeing herself on television, and seeing some of the odd contortions she made with her face would convince her to do something different, but no, the self-awareness just isn't there. I don't recall ever having seen faces like that. Like sitting on a plane, and a face of pure agony! Not sure where she gets that from. 

Like the scene from Bad Teacher when they were telling Squirrel, "Normal mouth. Normal mouth." And she just couldn't do it.

OiT6.gif

Edited by CoachWristletJen
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I'm so glad Roni is leaving Michael. That POS can find a ditch to die in somewhere. It was really sweet of Dr. Now to take her bandage off and clean her finger, you could tell that she was terrified and it made her feel a little better to just have someone there helping her. That poor woman.

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3 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

I really wish that Kirsten had stayed in Texas and perhaps gotten involved in a 12-step program like Narcotics Anonymous. She would have met people and felt a lot less lonely. She could have attended a meeting every day, every evening, twice a day if she so desired. And, it would be a great place for her to talk about her issues with both substances, and eating.

I agree with what's been said about her strange affect. She makes some of the oddest faces I've ever seen. Like, Kirsten, please stop inflicting that on us! It was as though she's in agony, but that's not even an appropriate face for one to make when feeling agony, trying to make both sides of her mouth go diagonally to opposite ends of her face at once. I had hoped that seeing herself on television, and seeing some of the odd contortions she made with her face would convince her to do something different, but no, the self-awareness just isn't there. I don't recall ever having seen faces like that. Like sitting on a plane, and a face of pure agony! Not sure where she gets that from. 

Like the scene from Bad Teacher when they were telling Squirrel, "Normal mouth. Normal mouth." And she just couldn't do it.

OiT6.gif

Looking at her entire affect, I see clinical depression. It's as if her mind is telling her "you're supposed to smile and be happy here." However, the smile is obviously forced, and is not reflected in her eyes. Those eyes are incredibly sad. 

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7 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

ITA SunnyBeBe. Accident or not--IMHO it was NOT an accident--they had a very sick dynamic in their relationship.

Dr. Now even mentioned their bad dynamic. If he didn't know for sure, I'm guessing he at least suspected.

--------------

Side note for those who were in the live chat: I now have Crunch Berries. But no vodka. ;)

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Color me shocked Kristen stuck with the program. She clearly has arrested development and control issues. I kind of felt Dr. Now was a bit harsh to deny her surgery cuz she was 4 pounds shy of her goal when he often overlooks much more. I thought for sure that might derail her but she found some pluck.

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3 hours ago, Colleenna said:

Looking at her entire affect, I see clinical depression. It's as if her mind is telling her "you're supposed to smile and be happy here." However, the smile is obviously forced, and is not reflected in her eyes. Those eyes are incredibly sad. 

I regret my last post. It was kind of harsh. Kirsten is obviously very depressed. I've seen many, many very depressed people and trauma survivors, but none who made faces like that. But they clearly do come from her having been in a place of agony. She's led a terrible life that is very sad.

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(edited)

In the live chat people were looking forward to “James” next week but I’m pretty sure it’s james from season 2 not James king of ow mah layg. This James was engaged then not to a woman named summer. Good old country boy type.

Edited by Wanda
Misspelling
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2 hours ago, Wanda said:

In the live chat people were looking forward to “James” next week but I’m pretty sure it’s james from season 2 not James king of ow mah layg. This James was engaged then not to a woman named summer. Good old country boy type.

 

Hi Wanda. I will post info on this in the All You Can Eat Buffet All Episodes thread since any further discussion about James K here will probably be moved there as it is off topic in this thread.

Edited by DC Gal in VA
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(edited)

I slammed my finger in a screen door today (I'm fine, nothing broke), and the pain from that was horrible. I can't imagine how much worse it was for Roni. I hope that asshole goes to prison for a long, long time.

You can really see how upset the kids are over all of this. I hope they're getting the help they need.

Edited by mysticalflute
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14 hours ago, Wanda said:

In the live chat people were looking forward to “James” next week but I’m pretty sure it’s james from season 2 not James king of ow mah layg. This James was engaged then not to a woman named summer. Good old country boy type.

I don't think there will be a follow-up on "ow, mah layyg" James. They only do follow-ups on people that are in their second year of their weight loss program with Dr. Now. Sadly, I think James K. hasn't progressed from the whiny, bossy immobile jerk he was in his first episode. If anything, he's probably gained a few more pounds from all the fried rice..

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17 hours ago, TVbitch said:

Color me shocked Kristen stuck with the program. She clearly has arrested development and control issues. I kind of felt Dr. Now was a bit harsh to deny her surgery cuz she was 4 pounds shy of her goal when he often overlooks much more. I thought for sure that might derail her but she found some pluck.

I felt like he did this because he recognized her extreme emotional immaturity and needed her to really prove she could stick with it. It was jarring for me to see someone who is visibly an adult, but who literally acts & speaks like an impulsive 9-year-old. The carrying on about being left alone, you know, to be an adult - was pissing me off. But, I guess if you've had everyone around you treating you as such, that's how you'll be. 

Still seething about the POS Michael. Hopefully we'll never have to see him again on this show. Good for Roni - can only wish her the best. 

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3 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

I don't think there will be a follow-up on "ow, mah layyg" James. They only do follow-ups on people that are in their second year of their weight loss program with Dr. Now. Sadly, I think James K. hasn't progressed from the whiny, bossy immobile jerk he was in his first episode. If anything, he's probably gained a few more pounds from all the fried rice..

This season they’ve had people like Melissa Morris who was 11 years out and her second update show and both Bettie jo and Susan had been updated previously. I thought I saw James from an earlier season in the previews which is why I think it’s him. But the next ones listed are Chad and Cynthia and then Doug. Which takes the show to July and still no juggalo fun. So maybe they just teased us with “James”.

16 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

Hi Wanda. I will post info on this in the All You Can Eat Buffet All Episodes thread since any further discussion about James K here will probably be moved there as it is off topic in this thread.

Sorry. Still a neophyte.

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10 minutes ago, Wanda said:

This season they’ve had people like Melissa Morris who was 11 years out and her second update show and both Bettie jo and Susan had been updated previously. I thought I saw James from an earlier season in the previews which is why I think it’s him. But the next ones listed are Chad and Cynthia and then Doug. Which takes the show to July and still no juggalo fun. So maybe they just teased us with “James”.

Sorry. Still a neophyte.

Oh no, no need to be sorry Wanda. Although I have been posting here for over a year, I still don't know how to do multiple quotes and respond to them in one post. I just wanted you to read that TLC update on James B. and hear what you thought about it. The only reason I mentioned the other thread is that sometimes the mods will move posts that deviate from the topic at hand.

I'll get that link for you here in a sec.

Edited to add link: Here it is Wanda.

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/my-600-lb-life/features/james-update/

Hope you will be joining us on the Live Chat next Wednesday, 8:00 pm EST. Should be a bat shit crazy good time!

Edited by DC Gal in VA
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I am getting very tired of hearing Dr. Now Talking about these people needing support.  I would never dream of asking my parents to allow me and my two children to live with them while I ate myself into oblivion!   Kirsten’s parents paid for her to live in Houston for over a year.  She does not work and she has dumped her children on to her parents. How. Much more support can they give her?! 

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2 hours ago, TVWatcher12 said:

I am getting very tired of hearing Dr. Now Talking about these people needing support.  I would never dream of asking my parents to allow me and my two children to live with them while I ate myself into oblivion!   Kirsten’s parents paid for her to live in Houston for over a year.  She does not work and she has dumped her children on to her parents. How. Much more support can they give her?! 

Well I did feel a little sorry for her when she went into surgery with no one there, having said that I would have no one there before or after surgery either and I would not make such a fuss about it.

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4 hours ago, TVWatcher12 said:

I am getting very tired of hearing Dr. Now Talking about these people needing support.  I would never dream of asking my parents to allow me and my two children to live with them while I ate myself into oblivion!   Kirsten’s parents paid for her to live in Houston for over a year.  She does not work and she has dumped her children on to her parents. How. Much more support can they give her?! 

I've wondered about this too. He touts personal responsibility while also saying they need all of this support. We've seen some who have people in their lives who are actively working to sabotage. That's obviously bad. But in many cases, like Kirsten, their family is doing everything for them and footing all of their bills. Dr. Now doesn't want people to enable but that's exactly what that is. It's not just getting them the food they want but shouldn't eat. And yet Dr. Now seems to encourage financial and living dependence. He always expects someone else to move to Houston with them. Not just for the surgery, but for the entire experience. These are supposed to be grown ass adults. If they can't drive they can call for a ride, which seems to happen often even with a caretaker. They can get a "I've fallen and I can't get up' button. They can order groceries. And yet Dr. Now gets mad at them when they don't play food police. I would be so sick of all the caregiving there would be no way I would also put up with the abuse that would be sure to come if I brought home grilled chicken and spring mix instead of 4 mac and cheese pizzas. Personally I think this contributes to the extremely low success rate. Even when they are losing weight it's because the people around them are making it happen. There is a time for many of these people where they feel badly for what they are putting their family through and while actively "in the program" they work at it and are being constantly reminded by their family. But when that initial push is over, the family is done playing food police/caretaker/babysitter/chauffeur and understandably expect to go back to their lives and have the patient take care of him/herself. But they still don't know how and can't manage things on their own. So they relapse. 

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That went in an unexpected direction when Michael, the original participant, disappeared and it shifted to his wife.  She was never super-duper obese but she definitely needed to lose weight.  At first, I thought getting her fingers slammed in a door was an accident (it can happen accidentally; I did this to my mother once).  But then she explained the circumstances and how it severed part of her finger and I was like "omg...".  She had talked about how he was verbally abusive before, but I don't remember them showing that.  But this is how abuse happens... it escalates.  Good for her for leaving so quickly.  I hope she doesn't do something foolish and go back to him later.

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On 6/18/2018 at 6:12 PM, 3girlsforus said:

I've wondered about this too. He touts personal responsibility while also saying they need all of this support. We've seen some who have people in their lives who are actively working to sabotage. That's obviously bad. But in many cases, like Kirsten, their family is doing everything for them and footing all of their bills. Dr. Now doesn't want people to enable but that's exactly what that is. It's not just getting them the food they want but shouldn't eat. And yet Dr. Now seems to encourage financial and living dependence. He always expects someone else to move to Houston with them. Not just for the surgery, but for the entire experience. These are supposed to be grown ass adults. If they can't drive they can call for a ride, which seems to happen often even with a caretaker. They can get a "I've fallen and I can't get up' button. They can order groceries. And yet Dr. Now gets mad at them when they don't play food police. I would be so sick of all the caregiving there would be no way I would also put up with the abuse that would be sure to come if I brought home grilled chicken and spring mix instead of 4 mac and cheese pizzas. Personally I think this contributes to the extremely low success rate. Even when they are losing weight it's because the people around them are making it happen. There is a time for many of these people where they feel badly for what they are putting their family through and while actively "in the program" they work at it and are being constantly reminded by their family. But when that initial push is over, the family is done playing food police/caretaker/babysitter/chauffeur and understandably expect to go back to their lives and have the patient take care of him/herself. But they still don't know how and can't manage things on their own. So they relapse. 

One of the reasons I loved Diana’s follow up so much (and I wasn’t a huge fan in her original episode) is that she stepped up, made friends and created a life for herself there.  I know Kirsten doesn’t have any emotional maturity whatsoever but all she did was whine about how lonely she was. I have said before that I can see her family playing caretaker for her entire life.

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(edited)

May Roni and her kids continue to thrive, and be safe! I'm absolutely appalled by what happened to her, and to her children. 

 

Kirsten's overall attitude was self-defeating. There was a lot of "if this doesn't work, I'm going to stop trying"  Long term that  isn't a formula for success. I realize Kirsten has some severe cognitive issues that make her unable to function normally, but going back to her family and old dynamics that she is comfortable will make it hard for her to stick to the program. She could benefit from living in an adult group home type of environment where she's not completely alone, but at the same time can learn independence, and work on basic life skills. 

 

When they showed her looking wistfully at the birthday cake I thought, "Ohhhh Kirsten.....don't do it, resist the cake!"

 

IMG_4231.PNG

Edited by Barbara Please
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Sometimes, when I'm putting on makeup, I make Kirsten faces in the mirror...

On 6/15/2018 at 4:38 PM, DC Gal in VA said:

Oh no, no need to be sorry Wanda. Although I have been posting here for over a year, I still don't know how to do multiple quotes and respond to them in one post. I just wanted you to read that TLC update on James B. and hear what you thought about it. The only reason I mentioned the other thread is that sometimes the mods will move posts that deviate from the topic at hand.

I'll get that link for you here in a sec.

Edited to add link: Here it is Wanda.

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/my-600-lb-life/features/james-update/

Hope you will be joining us on the Live Chat next Wednesday, 8:00 pm EST. Should be a bat shit crazy good time!

I'd actually be interested in seeing them follow one or two of the failures, like Penny. Just to show us what happens to people who abandon the program..

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9 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Sometimes, when I'm putting on makeup, I make Kirsten faces in the mirror...

I'd actually be interested in seeing them follow one or two of the failures, like Penny. Just to show us what happens to people who abandon the program..

CoachWristletJen after last night's Live Chat, I fully expect Cynthia to be one of those failures as she goes along at a snail's pace doing things "her way."

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having said that I would have no one there before or after surgery either and I would not make such a fuss about it.

Even the most responsible person on the planet needs support. I think Dr. Now is absolutely correct to insist that patients have appropriate support in place, though I don't think that patients are entitled to support from their families or anyone else and it bothers me when they take it for granted. I don't think that families are obligated to help their adult children, though it's great when they do.

For starters, people who need help with Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) before surgery will still need that help after surgery, at least until they lose enough weight to be able to care for themselves. Second, even though the surgeries are done laparoscopically, the incisions will hurt until they heal and I imagine there are restrictions on lifting, reaching, etc. It's possible that they aren't permitted to drive until the incisions have healed and cabs/Uber can get expensive. I had a small bowel resection a few years ago and the incision hurt. I couldn't cough or sneeze without pain for at least a week if not longer. And it's harder than you might think to do something simple, like sitting up from laying down, when you have a fresh incision on your abdomen. I'm heavy but not obese and I needed someone to help me sit up until the incision healed a bit. 

Second, I think that Dr. Now's program is as much about intervening on the enablers as it is intervening on the patient. Ideally the patient becomes self sufficient and doesn't rely on the enablers to buy and prepare food for them. But these people didn't become super morbidly obese on their own and it's likely that they are going to dine with their enablers again in the future - and possibly/probably live with them. If you view obesity as food addiction and follow the perspective that addiction is a family disease, then the intervention should involve the family and the patient. 

This is all the physical/logistical stuff. Emotionally these people are going through A LOT. Many of them are in unhealthy relationships with their family members but those are still the supports they have available to them and those are the families they eventually will return to. Better they learn a healthier dynamic while they are in Dr. Now's program...

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Just watched this On Demand. I did not see the first version of this show. In the flashbacks, it kind of freaked me out to see Kirsten crying in the shower. That deep, miserable cry. Oy. I thought her affect was off too and wondered if she was a drug abuser. She had weird looks on her face a lot. The way she would say "okay" with a straight face showed that she would just completely shut down if someone was saying something to her that she didn't want to hear.

It's unfortunate that Dr. Irritating Baby Voice It's all About Me Not the Patients is so painful to watch. She may offer good advice but I just can't with her.

It kind of bothered me a little when Dr. Now was pushing Kirsten when she clearly repeated multiple times that she was moving because she doesn't have the money to stay in Austin. If she doesn't have it, she doesn't have it. Since she does not have young kids with her, she's likely not eligible for assistance like housing and welfare. What is a person to do then?

That other piece of shit needs to die in a fire. His smirk face in the office and "it is what it is" attitude pissed me off. There are so many more people that are deserving of help than that lowlife dirtbag. There are no words for what he did to Roni. Glad she got out and away. Her son should have picked up a heavy object and bashed him over the head with it when they opened up that door. Dr. Now was so good with her in the office. You could tell she was so terrified.

One of these days I'll remember that there is a Live Chat thread and join it. 

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I see Roni continuing and becoming more and more healthy and mobile. She'll start spending more time on her makeup and picking out her clothes. When you're in shape, a shirt from Wal-mart will look great on you, and they've actually got some cute stuff. I'm not sure about fair trade, but I digress.

Anyway, in the meantime, Michael will be off the program, gaining the weight back, stress eating and probably knocking back the beers. Michael, at your age, and 600 pounds, you're one bad ankle away from being non-ambulatory, baby! And that's when the real fun begins. You'll start calling Roni and whining, asking for her to come back and take care of you and wait on you hand and foot and wash that ponytail, but she won't do it because she'll have found a new man who is not morbidly obese and doesn't hit her and doesn't cuss her out.

A year from now, TLC will do the followup story on light-on-her-feet Roni in her charming home with her happy kids. And, perhaps they'll do a quick interview with Michael. who will be seated, and anxious to participate for the $500 worth of pizza money.

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27 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

I see Roni continuing and becoming more and more healthy and mobile. She'll start spending more time on her makeup and picking out her clothes. When you're in shape, a shirt from Wal-mart will look great on you, and they've actually got some cute stuff. I'm not sure about fair trade, but I digress.

Anyway, in the meantime, Michael will be off the program, gaining the weight back, stress eating and probably knocking back the beers. Michael, at your age, and 600 pounds, you're one bad ankle away from being non-ambulatory, baby! And that's when the real fun begins. You'll start calling Roni and whining, asking for her to come back and take care of you and wait on you hand and foot and wash that ponytail, but she won't do it because she'll have found a new man who is not morbidly obese and doesn't hit her and doesn't cuss her out.

A year from now, TLC will do the followup story on light-on-her-feet Roni in her charming home with her happy kids. And, perhaps they'll do a quick interview with Michael. who will be seated, and anxious to participate for the $500 worth of pizza money.

I can’t express how much I hope this ends up being true. Roni deserves happiness so much. 

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Ok, I know I'm blaming the victim here. But I speak from very personal experience. My ex was a horrible person, nuff said. And I know this for a fact. If you are living with a honey badger and you are fighting you do not follow him because he "needed to listen to me". Nope, not never. Head the opposite direction as quickly and safely as you can. Believe me he is NOT listening.

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I don't know if it's blaming the victim. She did say something about she probably shouldn't have followed him. He was out of control; it's not a good idea to push someone who is already losing it - that's just a fact. But it doesn't mitigate the fact that he was so lost in his own crap he couldn't have cared less about doing something so reckless & self serving that inflicted permanent damage on her. She did do something unwise, but he's still the one completely in the wrong for his violent behavior.

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56 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I don't know if it's blaming the victim. She did say something about she probably shouldn't have followed him. He was out of control; it's not a good idea to push someone who is already losing it - that's just a fact. But it doesn't mitigate the fact that he was so lost in his own crap he couldn't have cared less about doing something so reckless & self serving that inflicted permanent damage on her. She did do something unwise, but he's still the one completely in the wrong for his violent behavior.

I agree. If the door had shut on her hand and he immediately realized what happened and tried to help her, then it might have been more of a mutual issue. But the son said that he yelled over and over that Roni was hurt and he needed to open to door but he didn’t. And when she was finally extracted with the top of her finger now severed and 911 called, his only response was to tell Roni it was all her fault and he made her do it. That’s classic abuser. He’s dangerous and I’m so glad she got away from him. 

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3 hours ago, JunkFoodTV said:

Ok, I know I'm blaming the victim here. But I speak from very personal experience. My ex was a horrible person, nuff said. And I know this for a fact. If you are living with a honey badger and you are fighting you do not follow him because he "needed to listen to me". Nope, not never. Head the opposite direction as quickly and safely as you can. Believe me he is NOT listening.

Amen.

My incredibly abusive ex was screaming at me from the shower how much of a worthless piece of shit I was and I very quietly left the house, got in the car and drive away.  We were expected at a BBQ at his friends house which I showed up for- and I knew I would catch hell for leaving without permission but my thought process was I would be ok because he never physically abused me in front of people.

He won that battle though, when he arranged with the host to watch our infant while we go “pick something up from the store” insisting I accompany him.  Never went to the store, just drove around and punched me in the left leg and arm while he was driving as he ranted about my leaving without him.

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2 hours ago, kicotan said:

Amen.

My incredibly abusive ex was screaming at me from the shower how much of a worthless piece of shit I was and I very quietly left the house, got in the car and drive away.  We were expected at a BBQ at his friends house which I showed up for- and I knew I would catch hell for leaving without permission but my thought process was I would be ok because he never physically abused me in front of people.

He won that battle though, when he arranged with the host to watch our infant while we go “pick something up from the store” insisting I accompany him.  Never went to the store, just drove around and punched me in the left leg and arm while he was driving as he ranted about my leaving without him.

I am so enraged right now and want to punch the asshole that did that to you repeatedly and then take you out for ice cream. With sprinkles! I'm sorry that happened that you. 

I had a next door neighbor once.  Young guy probably 18-19 who lived with one of his sisters. He had a girlfriend that would come over and you could hear them arguing in there. It happens. But my husband (RIP, babe) said to me once, "I'm calling the police," and did so because we could just tell by the guy's voice that it was beyond talking and reasoning now and he was going to seriously hurt or kill her if it continued. His tone just changed to one that was just not in reality anymore. Frightening. God help the woman that marries that guy.

I so wish the best for Roni and hope she truly stays away from this guy even if he contacts her begging. 

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(edited)
14 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I am so enraged right now and want to punch the asshole that did that to you repeatedly and then take you out for ice cream. With sprinkles! I'm sorry that happened that you. 

 

Thank you.  I’m grateful I had the sense to get out before he succeeded in his quest to kill me.

Roni most likely got exposed to it the way most of us who have lived through it do~gradually.  It starts out as something forgivable, like a heated argument that gets chalked up to a “bad day” or a misunderstanding.  Then it progressively gets worse and the next thing you know, you’re missing part of a finger or you’re dead.  I learned not to meet my abuser at his level when he cracked a tooth in response to my equivalent of what Roni did and the dentist didn’t believe my story, but took it out anyway without making a report.

I jumped up off the couch and did a victory dance for Roni when she left that piece of shit~it is sad she had to lose part of her finger but at least she got out with her life!

My father, may he RIP, always made sure I had ice cream money...thanks for your response and the ice cream!

Edited by kicotan
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Kirsten my favorite waddle walker! And her charming, inspirational spawn neiko. I remember the first episode that I was thinking "child, I'd lose weight just to be able to chase you with my flip flop!". Smirking little smart-ass. But I'm sure it's crazy hard to have a self inflicted invalid for a mom(ish). The whole family just annoyed me. No one respected any one!

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I wonder how Roni is doing now?   I hope she's doing great, and so are her kids, and she's not anywhere near Michael.

And I'm hoping the reason Michael disappeared wasn't because he moved back where they were from when she did, and now she has to put up with him.   I hope he gained every ounce back that he lost.       

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