S05.E10: Rudy Giuliani

[Athena]

Quote

Other segments: Don Blankenship and 2018 West Virginia Senate election, John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward

 

[Zanne]

"How do koalas get chlamydia" was the most popular search term when I, of course, looked it up after the show. Koalas have a wild sex life.

[Annber03]

OMG, that whole thing with the koalas at the end. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant :D. What an awesome ending to that story. And hopefully the people of Alaska enjoy those auction items. Between all of that and the glorious use of URLs, this was one of the funniest, most entertaining episodes ever. 

(Also, my goodness, Irwin's kids have grown up nicely.)

Loved the segment on Giuliani. That Ivanka bit towards the end had me and my mom about rolling with laughter. I didn't know much about his work in New York in the '90s, I just remember hearing his name pop up here and there and seeing him show up on a few random TV shows. But I certainly remember the post 9/11 praise....and the way he took massive advantage of that during his campaign ten years ago. The idiots who came up with that $9.11 fundraiser BS should be smacked upside the head. Hard. 

I'm just slightly disappointed that Oliver didn't show that old clip of Giuliani dressed in drag kissing Trump. Not that I needed to see that image, mind, but it's part of the twisted Giuliani/Trump history, so...

As for Blankenship...dude needs to just stop talking completely. Holy shit. That campaign ad with the constant mention of Obama, I just can't even with that stupidity. I liked Stephen Colbert's comment about his whole "Chinaperson" nonsense on his show earlier this week: "You're acting like a real assperson." 

[The Solution]

Everyone in NYC knew Giuliani was still a piece of shit on 9/12 just like he was on 9/10. Just sayin'.

[TVcritic]

Wow. When the children appeared on Blankenship's arms, out of thin air, I went 'WTF?'

John's writers have a hard time upping the craziness that comes from the dark conservative side. Who needs SNL anymore? ;-)

Oh, and John could have mentioned that Giuliani's 'heroship' is actually based on lies: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudy_Giuliani_during_the_September_11_attacks

We'll see if the 'Giuliani calendar' runs out of time soon ... :-)

... and if blocking Giuliani from having giuliani2024.com is good enough. There's still giuliani2020.com available, methinks. 

Edited May 7, 2018 by TVcritic

[bijoux]

I think I'm a fan of Russell Crowe now. 

[Lantern7]

I’m always getting up early and watching stuff off DVR so I can delete it to make space that will be filled immediately. I’m saving this episode. Classic.

If not for that day, Rudy Giuliani would’ve gone down as a prick. I think most New Yorkers knew  of what John brought up. Well, maybe not the thing about being second cousins with his first wife. Cue John making obvious jokes . . . but it’s Rudy, so fuck him.

Kentucky Derby salute for the win, “Help, I’m Trapped In A Horse Suit And This Guy Keeps Whipping Me” made me laugh really hard. Also: “Cocaine Mitch.” 

Edited May 8, 2018 by Lantern7

[ganesh]

8 hours ago, The Solution said:

Everyone in NYC knew Giuliani was still a piece of shit on 9/12 just like he was on 9/10. Just sayin'.

I'm glad John said nothing changed about him because I knew that too. 

If you wrote a bit on Alaska, Crowe, and koalas it would get thrown out fur begin so absurd. Amazing. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

In case you haven't checked out all of this week's new URLs:

http://www.hillaryclintonillness.com

http://www.giuliani-security.com

http://www.giuliani2024.com

[bijoux]

4 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

Also: “Cocaine Mitch.” 

The rhyming was the best part. Ditch Cocaine Mitch. Mitch has gotten rich. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

To be fair, everything sounds like poetry in that gloriously monotone voice!

[iMonrey]

Apparently a lot of people are flipping out because they actually think John Oliver just ended the show for good.

The fact that Don Blankenship is leading in the polls is a good thing, because if he wins the Republican nomination, in all likelihood, he'll lose the general election. Even Trump is Tweeting against him. 

[sacrebleu]

okay-- he's done koalas now-- not even the craziest marsupial sex-- what about kangaroos , John?

Edited May 7, 2018 by sacrebleu

[Annber03]

9 hours ago, TVcritic said:

Wow. When the children appeared on Blankenship's arms, out of thin air, I went 'WTF?'

John's writers have a hard time upping the craziness that comes from the dark conservative side. Who needs SNL anymore? ;-)

Oh, and John could have mentioned that Giuliani's 'heroship' is actually based on lies: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudy_Giuliani_during_the_September_11_attacks

We'll see if the 'Giuliani calendar' runs out of time soon ... :-)

... and if blocking Giuliani from having giuliani2024.com is good enough. There's still giuliani2020.com available, methinks. 

 

The image of Blankenship holding those kids was super creepy. 

Also, that Wiki link. Woooooooooooow. Thank you for that. I had not heard about any of that. 

Quote

In February 2007, the International Association of Fire Fighters issued a letter accusing Giuliani of "egregious acts" against the 343 firemen who had died in the September 11th attacks. The letter asserted that Giuliani rushed to conclude the recovery effort once gold and silver had been recovered from World Trade Center vaults and thereby prevented the remains of many victims from being recovered: "Mayor Giuliani's actions meant that fire fighters and citizens who perished would either remain buried at Ground Zero forever, with no closure for families, or be removed like garbage and deposited at the Fresh Kills Landfill," it said, adding: "Hundreds remained entombed in Ground Zero when Giuliani gave up on them."[50] Lawyers for the International Association of Fire Fighters seek to interview Giuliani under oath as part of a federal legal action alleging that New York City negligently dumped body parts and other human remains in the Fresh Kills Landfill.[45]

That is utterly chilling and cruel, as is the talk about Giuliani's refusal to meet safety guidelines aided in the first responders getting sick. Reading that section in the link reminded me of Jon Stewart hammering home politicians dragging their feet on/refusing to support the Zadroga bill on "The Daily Show". Those first responders, dead and alive, deserved so much better, as did their families, and the politicians who did nothing to help them don't deserve to work in any local/state/federal government capacity ever again (well, actually, they should all be in jail or paying crazy fines out the wazoo or something to that effect, but yeah). Fuck them and Giuliani. 

Edited May 7, 2018 by Annber03

[meowmommy]

14 hours ago, Annber03 said:

As for Blankenship...dude needs to just stop talking completely. Holy shit. That campaign ad with the constant mention of Obama, I just can't even with that stupidity. I liked Stephen Colbert's comment about his whole "Chinaperson" nonsense on his show earlier this week: "You're acting like a real assperson." 

If I were Joe Manchin, I'd be all, "No, keep talking, dude.  Seriously, don't ever shut up."

And in the same vein, there's probably nothing John could dig up on Rudy Giuliani that's any weirder than what is now coming out of his pie hole on a daily basis.

I had read about the koalas, so the chlamydia wasn't a surprise, but the John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward is just priceless.  

26 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

Apparently a lot of people are flipping out because they actually think John Oliver just ended the show for good.

I chided myself as I did it, because I should know when I'm being trolled, but I really did check my DVR settings to verify there's an episode scheduled for next week.

Edited May 7, 2018 by meowmommy

[Annber03]

13 minutes ago, meowmommy said:

If I were Joe Manchin, I'd be all, "No, keep talking, dude.  Seriously, don't ever shut up."

Ha. Very true :D.

Quote

I chided myself as I did it, because I should know when I'm being trolled, but I really did check my DVR settings to verify there's an episode scheduled for next week.

My mom turned to me after John's whole "We're done, goodbye" speech and was like, "...he's kidding, right?"

[meowmommy]

Oh, it also just occurred to me that, even though John and his team had two weeks to prepare this show, they more than likely had to toss out what they had already planned to come up with a Giuliani main story in just a couple of days.  But for the meltdown the other night, this would not have been the topic.  Kudos to the team.

[ganesh]

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

The fact that Don Blankenship is leading in the polls is a good thing, because if he wins the Republican nomination, in all likelihood, he'll lose the general election.

Let's not get too ahead of ourselves. Some dude said that Mexicans were rapists on live television and got elected president. 

[mojoween]

3 hours ago, meowmommy said:

I chided myself as I did it, because I should know when I'm being trolled, but I really did check my DVR settings to verify there's an episode scheduled for next week.

We did too!

A delighted John Oliver is my favorite John Oliver.

I’m so glad the rest of the country got to see what an absolute prick Giuliani had always been, but John really only scratched the surface.  He could do a series of shows about exactly how the Law and Order campaign “cleaned up” New York City.

[peeayebee]

18 hours ago, Annber03 said:

I'm just slightly disappointed that Oliver didn't show that old clip of Giuliani dressed in drag kissing Trump. Not that I needed to see that image, mind, but it's part of the twisted Giuliani/Trump history, so... 

Wait, what?

 

7 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

In case you haven't checked out all of this week's new URLs:

http://www.hillaryclintonillness.com

http://www.giuliani-security.com

http://www.giuliani2024.com

I just get blank pages on all of them. :(

 

Anyway, good ep. I'm absolutely amazed at how bad those Blankenship commercials are. Did he write and direct them himself? I can't imagine anyone who actually makes real commercials would think these are done well. Of course Blankenship is a big ZEE-ROH on the charisma scale, but the way the shots alternate betw closeup and mid-shot is like something out of a high school -- cross that... elementary school production. 

All the Giuliani stuff was great. Egads, what a horrible man-person. Besides his terrible public history -- and I'll have to read that wiki article -- all his recent media appearances have been hysterically bad. It's like he can't help putting his foot in his mouth. 

Russell Crowe has a pretty sly sense of humor. I'm surprised and pleased.

Oh, and I adored seeing that pic of Tilda Swinton in a Mickey Mouse costume. I don't know why, but it's awesome, maybe because she's awesome.

[meowmommy]

9 minutes ago, peeayebee said:

Russell Crowe has a pretty sly sense of humor. I'm surprised and pleased.

Who knew all we needed was an STD to bring together three giants of the world:  John Oliver, Russell Crowe, and koalas?

[Annber03]

12 minutes ago, peeayebee said:

Wait, what?

Fair warning, you may want brain bleach afterward, but...yeah... Here ya go:

[peeayebee]

Thanks. I knew someone would google that for me. :) That was very weird. I'm amazed it's not popping up all over the place these days. What was it for?

BTW, I think Rudy makes a pretty convincing woman.

[Pamela]

16 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

Kentuckg Derby salute for the win, “Help, I’m Trappef In A Horse Suit And This Guy Keeps Whipping Me” made me laugh really hard. Also: “Cocaine Mitch.” 

My favourite was "Knock It Off, Pamela." For obvious reasons.

Edited May 8, 2018 by Pamela

[Lantern7]

16 minutes ago, Pamela said:

My favourite was "Knock It Off, Pamela." For obvious reasons.

One: Apologies for the typos. Two: Who's Pamela?

Forgot about Rudy cross-dressing in skits.  Brrrrrrrrrrr. And I gotta agree with John: "Cocaine Mitch" makes Sen. McConnell sounds so cool.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

14 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

In case you haven't checked out all of this week's new URLs:

http://www.hillaryclintonillness.com

http://www.giuliani-security.com

http://www.giuliani2024.com

 

6 hours ago, peeayebee said:

I just get blank pages on all of them. :(

Weird. The ferrets are showing up for me on all three pages. Do you maybe have really strigent ad blocking software?

[Iguana]

So, Russell Crowe creates the John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward. Well done , sir. I say, very well done. (Iguana stands and tips hat towards Australia)

In other news, Guliani is a Walking Dead zombie who just won’t stop talking. And I’m mad that none of the horses who didn’t win the Kentucky Derby were named Carlos Danger or Janet From Accounting. 

[Annber03]

10 hours ago, peeayebee said:

Thanks. I knew someone would google that for me. :) That was very weird. I'm amazed it's not popping up all over the place these days. What was it for?

BTW, I think Rudy makes a pretty convincing woman.

I have no idea what the inspiration for that whole thing was, but yeah. It's wild, for sure :p. Politics really is a bizarre place much of the time, isn't it? 

4 hours ago, Iguana said:

And I’m mad that none of the horses who didn’t win the Kentucky Derby were named Carlos Danger or Janet From Accounting. 

Ha! Yes! Missed opportunity, indeed. 

[BTBAM310]

That "And now..." with the horses was probably the first time I didn't have to rewind the segment because I was laughing so hard. One of the rare times this show did something I didn't really care for. I did love the one with the newscasters and Cinco de Mayo.

[Annber03]

1 minute ago, BTBAM310 said:

I did love the one with the newscasters and Cinco de Mayo.

I always love it when he shows newscasters being total dorks when certain holidays roll around :p. The best part of the Cinco de Mayo one was when a newscaster asked a lady if they celebrated a particular event in Mexico and she was just like, "No." 

[BTBAM310]

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

 The best part of the Cinco de Mayo one was when a newscaster asked a lady if they celebrated a particular event in Mexico and she was just like, "No." 

I'd heard that about Ireland and St Patrick's Day as well. So on a 2 week trip over to England, we took an overnight side trip to Dublin (it was only a 45 minute flight). It happened to be St Patrick's Day, and we were staying in the heart of Dublin. We couldn't get within a mile of our hotel because it was in the middle of the parade route, so we had to walk around it. We heard that 750,000 people participated in the parade that day. Was still an awesome, if short, trip (and unusually warm, too).

Edited May 8, 2018 by BTBAM310

[peeayebee]

13 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Weird. The ferrets are showing up for me on all three pages. Do you maybe have really strigent ad blocking software?

I just turned off ad-blocking, but it still doesn't come up. :( Oh well. Do the sites just contain the images that John showed?

[atlantaloves]

Oh God, I got the little ferrets having sex on the Hillary Site. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......I do agree that ferrets and their owners are quite strange though.  But these are precious and quite enjoying themselves. 

[bijoux]

2 hours ago, peeayebee said:

I just turned off ad-blocking, but it still doesn't come up. :( Oh well. Do the sites just contain the images that John showed?

Yes, it's the same animations. 

[Victor the Crab]

I'm surprised Ollie didn't bring up Star Wars Day (May 4) in the second filler.

[ganesh]

I think Cinco de Mayo is a better overall sight gag in terms of social context than Star Wars, like why they also showed clips of St. Patrick's day. 

[atlantaloves]

I don't care about anything except that the darling little dimpled Jon is not going off the air....that scared me too....he was very convincing. Love this show and himmmmmmmmmm......and the fact that it is so wonderfully silly and informative at the same time. ?

[iMonrey]

Damn, Don Blankenship lost the primary. 

[attica]

When those kids popped into Blankenship's arms, my first thought was that he was trying to scoop up the Roy Moore supporter. Which: shudder.

[bijoux]

In an unexpected twist Blankenship didn’t win the nomination. Luckily, he held a rousing speech.

I’m just sorry this cuts off right before his tangent about how he’d be sent to 30 days in prison if he got a DUI.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

16 minutes ago, bijoux said:

In an unexpected twist Blankenship didn’t win the nomination. Luckily, he held a rousing speech.

I’m just sorry this cuts off right before his tangent about how he’d be sent to 30 days in prison if he got a DUI.

Wow, so he's NOT blaming Cocaine Mitch or China people for his loss. It's because soccer moms and people who have to get up early in the morning to go to work and go to church don't have the time to invest in understanding the issues. Yup, everyone was just too stupid to vote for you. "People will say anything to get elected in these campaigns." Like referring to someone as Cocaine Mitch?

[Annber03]

7 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

"People will say anything to get elected in these campaigns." Like referring to someone as Cocaine Mitch?

I actually had to play that part of the clip back. I was like, "...he really didn't just say that with a straight face, did he?" Unbelievable. 

And his claim that "people weren't paying attention". Oh, no, Blakenship. They were very much paying attention. And they decided you're a moron who shouldn't be anywhere near a political office. Thank god he lost. 

[ChicksDigScars]

On 5/7/2018 at 10:09 AM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

In case you haven't checked out all of this week's new URLs:

http://www.hillaryclintonillness.com

http://www.giuliani-security.com

http://www.giuliani2024.com

I laughed so hard at this episode that I was crying. All the segments were funnier than shit. 

 

And yes, I clicked on all three. The sounds effects are subtle, but awesome. 

[b2H]

Just in case you wondered:

https://www.politico.com/election-results/2018/west-virginia/

I guess 20% of the GOP in WV believe it was all Obama’s fault?

[wendyg]

atlantaloves: HBO contracts are harder to get out of than you think. :)

[Hanahope]

I'm not sure anyone outside NYC would know Ghouliani if not for 9/11.  Good thing he couldn't run for president until many years later, and more people could see what a creep he was by then.  Yay for Joe Biden.

The Russell Crowe/koala bit was the absolute best.  Very well played Russell.

[Iguana]

Five years later, the John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward sees success. I can’t link to it but there’s a story on the NPR website that they have developed and started using a chlamydia vaccine for koalas.