MaryPatShelby August 16, 2014 Share August 16, 2014 Well, if we're going with body...issues....Only on TV do people clearly have sex without barrier protection and then just cuddle up and go to sleep. No one ever gets up and freshens up if you get my drift. The exception to this rule is if the one who gets up is to be interpreted as not caring or being a jerk or there's a problem in the marriage, etc. I get why they do it in fiction -- no one wants to see the nitty gritty of things, but still. Only on TV. Not only that, but only on TV do people deeply kiss upon waking up and seem to enjoy it. Grosses me out every time. I get morning sex, but it is possible to do it without kissing. 2 Link to comment
ganesh August 16, 2014 Share August 16, 2014 Only on tv if people have troubling dreams do they sit up abruptly panting and sweaty. 5 Link to comment
smittykins August 16, 2014 Share August 16, 2014 (edited) It is only on TV that a Catholic priest will conduct a wedding ceremony outside of a Catholic Church in your beautiful gardens and private beaches Corollary: Only on TV do non-Catholic churches have crucifixes(*cough*DeadlyWomen*cough*). Edited August 16, 2014 by smittykins 2 Link to comment
Cobalt Stargazer August 16, 2014 Share August 16, 2014 Only on tv if people have troubling dreams do they sit up abruptly panting and sweaty. Sometimes they actually wake up screaming. Link to comment
janie jones August 17, 2014 Share August 17, 2014 But if two people are talking in english and then one of them wants to use a phrase or saying from another language (like say fiesta or capisce or je ne sais quoi or something equivalent in alien from another planet) the translators always know to let those phrases through and not force them to be translated into english. Makes perfect sense. That's how Google Translate works. Link to comment
Cobalt Stargazer August 17, 2014 Share August 17, 2014 Only On TV do really hot women date and marry average-looking guys. Link to comment
Sir RaiderDuck OMS August 17, 2014 Share August 17, 2014 Only On TV do really hot women date and marry average-looking guys. Paulina Porizkova and Ric Ocasek? Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts? 3 Link to comment
AimingforYoko August 17, 2014 Share August 17, 2014 Geoffrey Arend and Christina Hendricks. That's why it's so common on-screen, it's not that uncommon offscreen 2 Link to comment
merylinkid August 18, 2014 Share August 18, 2014 Okay but name one single hot girl who married a schlubby guy who was not also rich and/or famous in real life? On tv, the schlubby guy is just a schlubby guy in a regular job. He's totally middle class, or even lower middle middle class. Every single one of the real life examples (ganesh I don't know what you do for a living) is also a rich albeit schlubby guy. 6 Link to comment
Raja August 18, 2014 Share August 18, 2014 Okay but name one single hot girl who married a schlubby guy who was not also rich and/or famous in real life? On tv, the schlubby guy is just a schlubby guy in a regular job. He's totally middle class, or even lower middle middle class. Every single one of the real life examples (ganesh I don't know what you do for a living) is also a rich albeit schlubby guy. While fame, power and money might trump physical attractiveness on TV men have that neither. Even Al Bundy had Peggy and not the exception to the rule, Rosanne Link to comment
DittyDotDot August 18, 2014 Share August 18, 2014 (edited) I don't know why, but that whole line of thinking kinda irked me. I'm very sorry for my tone here, but I just want to get this straight...So you're saying that: in the history of the universe, no hot girl ever was interested in a schlubby man in real life, this is only a TV invention, but doesn't exist--it's fantasy? In real life only good looking people chose to be with other good looking people and ugly people would rather be with pretty people, but alas, the universe does not allow? In addition, you added the caveat that if a hot chick is interested in a schlubby guy, he is rich. So, pretty women only care about looks and money in real life? No good looking woman, in real life, has ever considered being seen in public with an ugly man unless he is rich? Am I missing something here? Yes, I could name a few from real life, but here's the thing...if they're not famous, how would you know who these people were I speak of? And secondly, is this not the stereotype that people have been screaming to see less of on TV (rich hot people only matter)? Edited August 18, 2014 by DittyDotDot 5 Link to comment
ganesh August 18, 2014 Share August 18, 2014 ganesh I don't know what you do for a living I am straight *pimp*. I think what the trope is, only on tv is it the "shubbly guy" with "hot" wife that is the long-suffering and put upon one. And the guy is the one always fucking up and having to "make it up to her". It's really, only on tv, are married couples mostly "shlubby guy/hot wife". I'm thinking of sitcoms mostly. There's never really a normal marriage with normal people. Even Don Draper and Betty and Don/Meghan are hot. As completely shit of a show as it is, Arthur and Joan on Covert Affairs are probably the closest I've seen to normal married couple. 3 Link to comment
The Crazed Spruce August 18, 2014 Share August 18, 2014 I just want to remind everyone to keep things civil in here. Disagreeing with your fellow posters is fine, but I'm sensing things are starting to get a bit hostile. Let's all try to keep a cool head about us, okay? 2 Link to comment
Mulva August 18, 2014 Share August 18, 2014 Only on TV do people wake up and don't have to immediately run to the bathroom to whiz. Nope, they're ready for romance/crime solving/fighting vampires after 8 hours without a bathroom break. 7 Link to comment
BatmanBeatles August 18, 2014 Share August 18, 2014 When you wake up from a nightmare, you sit straight up. 2 Link to comment
ganesh August 20, 2014 Share August 20, 2014 Only on tv do friends know literally everything about their friends up to and including the last time they pooped. No one keeps anything private because if they do it will be a Plot Point and everyone finds out anyway. 4 Link to comment
ganesh August 21, 2014 Share August 21, 2014 Unless I'm in the wrong line of work, only on tv do people have a bottle of booze in the desk. Because after a long day at work, I want to have a drink. At work. 11 Link to comment
BatmanBeatles August 21, 2014 Share August 21, 2014 You don't have to have a detective license to solve a crime. You just have to be a writer or a great mathematician. 2 Link to comment
Rick Kitchen August 21, 2014 Share August 21, 2014 Only on TV do people keep a fully stocked bar including bottles of water, pitchers of water, and ice cubes, all awaiting them when they get home from work. 5 Link to comment
Cobalt Stargazer August 21, 2014 Share August 21, 2014 Because after a long day at work, I want to have a drink. At work. Don, is that you? 2 Link to comment
Raja August 21, 2014 Share August 21, 2014 Nobody commutes to work on TV. Everything moves at the speed of Jack Bauer going after a terrorist. 3 Link to comment
Sandman87 August 21, 2014 Share August 21, 2014 Unless I'm in the wrong line of work, only on tv do people have a bottle of booze in the desk. Because after a long day at work, I want to have a drink. At work. I worked for a while at a small software company where the break room cabinets were full of booze. For some reason productivity there tended to fall off after lunch... 4 Link to comment
shapeshifter August 22, 2014 Share August 22, 2014 You don't have to have a detective license to solve a crime. You just have to be a writer or a great mathematician....or a doctor or a lawyer or a telepathic paramedic a ghost whisperer or a....And the corollary to this one is: Only on TV would a telepath or a ghost whisperer use their skills primarily for crime fighting, especially unpaid crime fighting. The guy who got tomorrow's paper today didn't really have a choice, IIRC. I mean, IRL, they'd be in Vegas--either cleaning up gambling or doing stage shows. 3 Link to comment
ganesh August 22, 2014 Share August 22, 2014 That's because there's only like 5 jobs in tv world. 5 Link to comment
merylinkid August 22, 2014 Share August 22, 2014 Well other people have to solve the crimes. All the detectives are too personally involved and angsting to actually SOLVE the crime. It's all about how they feel about being detectives and the effect that has on their personal lives. Or how some horrible thing in their past led them to be a detective, so they identify too closely with the victim of the crime to do anything but make promises to "catch the guy who did this." 8 Link to comment
Francesca007 August 26, 2014 Share August 26, 2014 I am straight *pimp*. This made me holler. Love it! I hate when people lay down on a bed with thier shoes on. It bugs the crap out of me. Everytime I see it I yell at the TV "GET THEM SHOES OUT THE BED!" I have never seen this anywhere in real life. Woman half, mostly, or fully naked after sex and the man is still wearing practically a 3 piece suit with the top button of his shirt undone. Where they do that at? 6 Link to comment
ethalfrida August 27, 2014 Share August 27, 2014 The shoes on the bed or sofa makes me holler too. Or sitting on the kitchen counters. Ewww, if we only had a real grasp of what is on the bottom of our shoes it should make everyone sick to ther stomachs. This made me holler. Love it!I hate when people lay down on a bed with thier shoes on. It bugs the crap out of me. Everytime I see it I yell at the TV "GET THEM SHOES OUT THE BED!" I have never seen this anywhere in real life.Woman half, mostly, or fully naked after sex and the man is still wearing practically a 3 piece suit with the top button of his shirt undone. Where they do that at? 3 Link to comment
ToxicUnicorn August 27, 2014 Share August 27, 2014 Only on tv do most people have job security despite routine insubordination and chronic absenteeism. Oh, and most people with a great deal of power are stupid, probably because they got to those positions through nepotism or bribery or some other non-merit based means. Also, most judges are minorities or females or both. And the ones who are white are narrow-minded establishment types. See sentence 2 above. 3 Link to comment
paulvdb August 27, 2014 Share August 27, 2014 Only on tv can you completely clear out an office or warehouse in 15 minutes without leaving any trace that you were ever there. Bad guys and secret government agencies must have moving companies on speed dial just to make sure that the good guys walk into a completely empty building. 6 Link to comment
Princess Sparkle August 27, 2014 Share August 27, 2014 Woman half, mostly, or fully naked after sex and the man is still wearing practically a 3 piece suit with the top button of his shirt undone. Where they do that at? That goes right along with the classic, post-coital "bed sheet pulled up to a woman's chest, but all the way down for the man." I mean, I logically know why they do it, it just cracks me up every time it happens. 2 Link to comment
Ohwell August 27, 2014 Share August 27, 2014 Also, the woman always has the sheet wrapped around her when she gets out of bed to go to the bathroom. I know why they do it, but it cracks me up all the same. 1 Link to comment
ganesh August 27, 2014 Share August 27, 2014 I said something about walking away with the sheet a while ago. Give me back my sheet! You're dragging it all over the floor! 2 Link to comment
Ohwell August 27, 2014 Share August 27, 2014 Oops! Sorry for that. Here's your filthy sheet! 1 Link to comment
merylinkid August 28, 2014 Share August 28, 2014 And if she is walking off with the sheet, what is HE covering himself with? 1 Link to comment
Cobalt Stargazer August 28, 2014 Share August 28, 2014 The above is making me think of that scene in sex, lies, and videotape when Peter Gallagher (and his eyebrows) are lying naked on Laura San Giacomo's bed with a potted plant covering his business, and she looks at it and goes, "Is that for me?" And he nods, and she takes the plant away, and then she says, "Is that for me?" about what was underneath the plant. 1 Link to comment
Sandman87 August 28, 2014 Share August 28, 2014 Only on TV are rich people 100 times more likely to be murdered than poor people. It doesn't matter if you live in a safe community, live in a family compound, have a squad of hired bodyguards, and live next door to a police station, if you have money there's roughly a 50% chance that someone will kill you. The odds are even worse whenever there's a famous mystery writer in the vicinity. 9 Link to comment
Francesca007 August 28, 2014 Share August 28, 2014 No curtains or blinds on windows. People have sex all the time in front of these same windows. Never seen either in real life. Link to comment
Cobalt Stargazer August 28, 2014 Share August 28, 2014 Only on TV are rich people 100 times more likely to be murdered than poor people. It doesn't matter if you live in a safe community, live in a family compound, have a squad of hired bodyguards, and live next door to a police station, if you have money there's roughly a 50% chance that someone will kill you. The odds are even worse whenever there's a famous mystery writer in the vicinity. The odds in favor of you being murdered double if you're moved to a safehouse that's guarded by the police. 8 Link to comment
Kel Varnsen August 28, 2014 Share August 28, 2014 Only on TV are rich people 100 times more likely to be murdered than poor people. It doesn't matter if you live in a safe community, live in a family compound, have a squad of hired bodyguards, and live next door to a police station, if you have money there's roughly a 50% chance that someone will kill you. The odds are even worse whenever there's a famous mystery writer in the vicinity. Of course they get murdered more often, its because it is totally easy to figure out who is rich. Because if you are rich and you are on TV, you will wear a suit and tie all the time. It doesn't matter what type of business you are in, or what time of day it is rich guys will always be wearing suits and ties. Link to comment
ganesh August 28, 2014 Share August 28, 2014 No curtains or blinds on windows. People have sex all the time in front of these same windows. Never seen either in real life. Oh come on over to my apartment. Nosy people have gotten quite the eyeful. My place is like right on top of the sidewalk, and you have to open the blinds because there's no breeze and it gets super stuffy. 1 Link to comment
janie jones August 29, 2014 Share August 29, 2014 That goes right along with the classic, post-coital "bed sheet pulled up to a woman's chest, but all the way down for the man." I mean, I logically know why they do it, it just cracks me up every time it happens. This I don't mind because it's realistic. I don't like my nipples getting cold! 2 Link to comment
Francesca007 August 29, 2014 Share August 29, 2014 Oh come on over to my apartment. Nosy people have gotten quite the eyeful. My place is like right on top of the sidewalk, and you have to open the blinds because there's no breeze and it gets super stuffy. BAHAHAHAHA I stand corrected. Close your blinds! Is it really nosy to walk by and see breasts smashed against the window ala Shame? Link to comment
ganesh August 29, 2014 Share August 29, 2014 No, but it is nosy to walk by and look in someone's window. I really don't care. Most people just see me washing dishes. 2 Link to comment
Shannon L. August 30, 2014 Share August 30, 2014 Only on tv (and movies) do people always have the means to get beautiful, elaborate costumes for costume parties. 6 Link to comment
Cobalt Stargazer August 30, 2014 Share August 30, 2014 Only on tv (and movies) do people always have the means to get beautiful, elaborate costumes for costume parties. Or they make them themselves, and have them turn out looking like a Hollywood costumer personally designed them. 3 Link to comment
shapeshifter August 31, 2014 Share August 31, 2014 (edited) Tonight On TV, a little miracle occurred: On Unforgettable either the writers actually put a "bye" in the script at the end of a phone convo, or Poppy Montgomery ad libbed it. Unfortunately, my happiness was soon dashed when the perp turned out to be someone who would not have been capable of committing multiple homicides and kidnapping. Only On TV... Edited August 31, 2014 by shapeshifter 4 Link to comment
bmoore4026 August 31, 2014 Share August 31, 2014 (edited) All proms take place at the school's gym. All of them. No exceptions. Edited August 31, 2014 by bmoore4026 1 Link to comment
ganesh August 31, 2014 Share August 31, 2014 And reunions too, of course. How about the neighbor not only barging in all the time, but eating your food without being offered? 3 Link to comment
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