S09.E05: PolygaMexicamist Wedding

[Galloway Cave]

Quote

Mykelti's polygamist family ties the knot with Tony's Mexican Catholic family with a unique winter wedding where they beat the bride and groom pinatas; Christine forgets to bring Kody's shirts.

I cannot believe I just wrote both that title and the episode description. First of all, the two families are not getting married. Second, that wedding isn't unique; it is jacked. Next, nothing about the wedding itself screams polygamist. Finally, why couldn't Christine have forgotten Kody instead of his shirts?

[crazycatlady58]

3 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

I cannot believe I just wrote both that title and the episode description. First of all, the two families are not getting married. Second, that wedding isn't unique; it is jacked. Next, nothing about the wedding itself screams polygamist. Finally, why couldn't Christine have forgotten Kody instead of his shirts?

Why is Christine  responsible  for Kody's shirts? He is  a grown a** man if he cannot  bring his own  shirts he needs to do without . 

[ginger90]

[Oldernowiser]

Is Robyn pregnant yet again or is she just eating her feelings of buyer’s remorse?

Because that’s a whole lot more ofWifey 4 than I remembered...

[Celia Rubenstein]

I'm so glad I saw this thread. I totally forgot this was on tonight. Thanks for starting the thread @GallowayCave!

[DragonFaerie]

Can't wait to read the snark.  Am going to have to watch it later this week on demand. But will try to read the board when it's live when I'm on the computer!

[toodles]

Live chatting would be fun.

[Absolom]

In that photo is Christine really the smallest?  If so, good for her.

[answerphone]

"I'd really like to incorporate a frisbee into the wedding."

I doubt this phrase has ever been said by anyone else, ever!!

Ridiculous. 

[toodles]

If I were writing the episode description, it would go something like this:

The two entitled brats are finally getting married.  We are all going to pretend this wedding was recent and didn't happen DECEMBER OF 2016.  Work with us people.  Try and act surprised at all the shenanigans.

There will be guests shivering at an outdoor wedding in December, cheesy fake flowers, inappropriate pinata bashing, stupid frisbees, fake drama with those wacky Browns, Christine and her dreadful singing and FT mumbling about how white people JUST DON'T GET IT.  Tacos for all!!

The wedding will be dry, but you can still takes a drink every time Kody flips his hair and you may pass out before the end, but we will show clips on every single episode until this sorry show is finally put out of its misery.  You won't miss a thing.

Join us!!  Or don't.  Even we think these people are awful and wish this show would just die.

[xwordfanatik]

I only wish my cable still had an east coast HD feed, like it used to.  As it is, I'll DVR the Wedding of the Century, and watch and comment tomorrow, since I'm west coast.

Mr. Xword refuses to watch this show with me.  Snarking with all the great people here is so much fun!  I look forward to all of your observations :)

It is very weird that we all know this wedding took place over a year ago, and TLC is just now getting around to showing it.

[Armchair Critic]

Tony looks like he's been eating 10 tacos at a time, he looks sloppy at the wedding

It also looks like Kody has been scrunching his hair

[tabloidlover]

Are some most of the 400 attendees either invisible or just imaginary?   Because I'm not seeing anywhere close to 400 chairs set up.

[Kyanight]

4 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Tony looks like he's been eating 10 tacos at a time, he looks sloppy at the wedding

It also looks like Kody has been scrunching his hair

I watch My 600 Pound Life now and then, and I honestly think Tony is heading towards being on that show.

[trimthatfat]

Kody's hair always looks ridiculous. OMG.

[Galloway Cave]

"Today is the weddink". Perfect description, Christine.

[Wings]

11 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

 

It also looks like Kody has been scrunching his hair

Hysterical 

[ginger90]

[Armchair Critic]

4 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I watch My 600 Pound Life now and then, and I honestly think Tony is heading towards being on that show

He has the mentality for it, he thinks everybody should do what he wants and I could see him laying there having Mykelti wait on him

[Pollo Loco]

Toni the wedding planner threw some shade and pretty much confirmed her opinion that Mykelti's insistence (in the face of all common sense) of having an outdoor wedding in December is just dumb. I believe she said something along the lines of "well, she'll definitely remember this".  I'm sure she tried to tactfully talk/hint to Mykelti more than once about changing her mind to no avail. 

[trimthatfat]

I'm sorry, but the bouquets look hideous. 

I assumed that Meri's gift was going to be a pair of blue Lularoe leggings.

Love Robyn's gift. I'm a sucker for vintage jewelry.

[Wings]

Christine said, Tony is not that verbal.  Hahahahaha! 

[Chicklet]

The gall of Mykelti and her insistence that the wedding be outside. What is her issue? She's just loving having the whole group dance to her tune. I would have turned around and left if I was a guest and found it was outside in December.

[Awfarmington]

22 minutes ago, trimthatfat said:

Kody's hair always looks ridiculous. OMG.

My 14 year old son walked in the room during the couch interview, and asked if Kody was ‘Weird Al’ . I think it was extra frizzy curl he had going on ?. 

[Wings]

Kody has been making sense the past couple of episodes.  

[JustDuckie]

I just can't stand all.the.shouting. When Christine gets going - man, she's loud. I would be popping Tylenol like they were Pez if I had to be around that on my wedding day. Or any day.

[Pollo Loco]

6 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

The gall of Mykelti and her insistence that the wedding be outside. What is her issue? She's just loving having the whole group dance to her tune. I would have turned around and left if I was a guest and found it was outside in December.

I think there's a few people in the family who are pissed at her selfishness. Robin is barely hiding her irritation when she talks about it. 

[Armchair Critic]

Tony's "all dolled up"? Mykelti you need higher standards...

[Pollo Loco]

Omg! Did Tony just say that the dumbest people are the ones that don't listen to other people? Does that apply to his fiancé/wife who refuses to listen to anyone about the outdoor wedding? Lol

[Mimiray802]

I know this is petty and terrible but Mykelti's penciled in eyebrows during the talking recap portion is so distracting and looks cartoonish  along with that terrible hair and lipstick color.  They look slightly better during the actual wedding but not by much. 

[CSunshine76]

9 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

The gall of Mykelti and her insistence that the wedding be outside. What is her issue? She's just loving having the whole group dance to her tune. I would have turned around and left if I was a guest and found it was outside in December.

Seriously.  Rule number one for an Outdoor wedding, have a back up plan!  Once you invite guests, the day is no longer about just the couple.  The never ending etiquette breaches for this disaster have my head spinning.

[Galloway Cave]

Mykelti asks FT if he liked her hair and all he could say was "It was up. I like her hair down and natural." Jackass. How hard is it to tell your bride she looked beautiful?

[Armchair Critic]

Mykelti and Tony especially are the types who think they are freespirits doing their thing, when in reality they are being rude and selfish.

[LucyEth]

Tony looks like 10 lbs of baloney in a 5 lb bag.  His suit is awful and way too small.  The place should have refused to do it outside in that kind of weather.

Edited February 12, 2018 by LucyEth
the last sentence

[Armchair Critic]

"Three Wives One Husband", looks like TLC is investing in more Polygamy shows... maybe they are moving on from the Browns?

1 minute ago, LucyEth said:

Tony looks like 10 lbs of baloney

He's full of baloney alright, full of bullsh....  And yes he is stuffed into that outfit

Edited February 12, 2018 by Armchair Critic

[trimthatfat]

8 minutes ago, Pollo Loco said:

I think there's a few people in the family who are pissed at her selfishness. Robin is barely hiding her irritation when she talks about it. 

I don't blame her. She's the one who will have to sit in the car ride back with two sick babies. Mykelti is so ridiculous.

3 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

Tony looks like 10 lbs of baloney in a 5 lb bag.  His suit is awful and way too small.  The place should have refused to do it outside in that kind of weather.

Tony looks so sloppy. His shirt just barely covers his gut. Plenty of bigger men have looked classic on their wedding day. Tony couldn't bother.

[Armchair Critic]

4 minutes ago, trimthatfat said:

Tony looks so sloppy. His shirt just barely covers his gut. Plenty of bigger men have looked classic on their wedding day. Tony couldn't bother.

I agree, my cousin is a big guy but he had a suit on that made him look like a million bucks at his wedding. The problem is that Tony thinks he is hot stuff and doesn't see he looks like crap.

[sandyskyblue]

'Get them all down here RIGHT NOW!!  Mykelti is a self entitled, self absorbed, selfish little b*tch, isn't she?

[Kyanight]

Tony just irritates me.  I keep asking myself if it's because I am already prejudiced against him for things he has said in the past - and it's very possible.  I thought he COULD have thrown Mykelti a crumb when she asked if he liked her hair right before the wedding..... you know - I just can't help it - I don't feel like he is really that into her.  I keep wondering if he is more into the SHOW and being on camera.   He's never very kind to her - is he.  And wanting to bash a pinata that is supposed to represent her - none of this feels like love, to me.

[Armchair Critic]

Robyn doesn't look happy, LOL people are putting blankets on during the wedding

Oh dear mini frisbees

[trimthatfat]

So the guests require hats, jackets, and blankets, and that still wasn't enough to convince Mykelti to take the wedding indoors. Ugh!

Where are the 400 guests, Tony?

[Armchair Critic]

The flower girls and bridesmaid are wearing pullover sweaters?

Well the one thing smart they did was NO SPEECH from Kody during the wedding

[Galloway Cave]

There can't be more than 150 people there.

[Pollo Loco]

Anybody know which song was playing during the wedding walk?

FT is being an ass during the vows. As evidenced by her shhhh at him. 

[ShellB]

If Mykelti was so worried about the wedding starting at exactly 3:00, why didn't she allow at least a 30 minute cushion?

[trimthatfat]

A frisbee of love? Now I've seen everything.

The jacket gesture is the first gesture I have ever seen Tony make that was actually nice.

[tabloidlover]

Why is he fucking joking while Chris was officiating?? Lots of comments under his breath.  Asswipe

[LucyEth]

I wish they would all stop trying to convince themselves that Tony is wonderful.  They are all full of it!

[Kyanight]

6 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

There can't be more than 150 people there.

That's generous.  I saw a LOT of empty chairs!   It looks like 60 people - max.

[Armchair Critic]

1 minute ago, LucyEth said:

I wish they would all stop trying to convince themselves that Tony is wonderful.  They are all full of it!

It's like Christine is trying to convince herself that Tony is going to "protect her and take care of her". Unfortunately I think Tony only looks out for Tony.