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S05.E07: Full Moon

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Bjorn returns to Kattegat to learn that an attack will take place during the next full moon; Ivar must decide if he can place his trust in a former enemy on the battlefield.

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So it seems Bjorn was on his way home to Kattegut, not knowing about the upcoming battle.  And his new girlfriend definitely is not Torvi!

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OK did anyone else think Ivar and Heamund were about to have some rough hate sex? Those two have such lust in their eyes. 

 

Nothing at all like Ragnar and Athelstan's romance . That was friendship and bonding and quiet moments. 

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Just now, The Kings Foot said:

OK did anyone else think Ivar and Heamund were about to have some rough hate sex? Those two have such lust in their eyes. 

 

Nothing at all like Ragnar and Athelstan's romance . That was friendship and bonding and quiet moments. 

Ragnar and Athelstan had chemistry though. The show clearly wants Ivar and Heahmund to be the new Ragnar/Athelstan. I will agree with that. JRM just ain't a good enough actor.

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30 minutes ago, alvajon said:

So it seems Bjorn was on his way home to Kattegut, not knowing about the upcoming battle.  And his new girlfriend definitely is not Torvi

We got seriously shortchanged by the Africa plot. And the second time two.  the first raid with Floki i could swear there were meaningful looks with one of the female Arab captives and Bjorn. But nothing came of it. 

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Bjorn and Torvi have such adorable chemistry. So of course their relationship was doomed. Bjorn and Lagertha are ridiculous. Having him have her ask that king to set him up with his daughter was so middle school it almost hurt. I already hate her and this relationship. Adult Bjorn's never been a fave, but I like him less and less with each passing episode.

If they wanted Margarette to play Lady Macbeth, they should've cast a decent actress. Ah well, she'll be gone soon. Cause, Torvi/Ubbe is clearly the plan. 

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I hate Margarethe. Besides her scheming, the actress is so vapid. No wonder Ubbe is attracted to Torvi ( love her!). 

As for Floki’s settlement site, there are a lot of things I would have a problem with but not hot water and geothermal heat! The Amazing Race began racing in Iceland tonight. Some breathtaking scenery.

Lagertha looks younger than Bjorn.

Edited by LittleIggy
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Alfred impressed me very much in this episode.  Putting that narrow-minded abbot in his place.  It was a beautiful moment when he said the Lord's Prayer and Athelstan's voice could be heard along with it.  Alfred has clearly absorbed and inherited all the best parts from his parents, his adoptive father and his adoptive grandfather.

So shall we make bets when that bargain basement Lady Macbeth Margarethe loses her tongue?

I felt so bad for Harald - I hope that Astrid's kid is his and not of one of the rapists.

I also felt bad for Torvi.  But at least her relationship with Bjorn came to a somewhat civil end.  Not liking Bjorn very much at the moment.

For a moment I thought Ivar and Heahmund were going to make out.

I am very conflicted about the upcoming battle.  I can't root for Ivar but I am sort of rooting for Harald.  I am rooting for Ubbe and Torvi.   

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I'm disappointed in Bjorn. I know he's cheated on Torvi before, but I'd always hoped that infidelity would be the one thing he DIDN'T inherit from Ragnar. Doesn't he remember how furious he was on Lagertha's behalf when Ragnar cheated with Aslaug? 

More weird sexcapades between Bjorn and the Sami girl. Reminded me of that French general's Fifty Shades dungeon, and felt just as pointless. 

I liked the Ivar/Heahmund conversations - you can tell because I've finally remembered the character's name. 

Finally, some good material for Alfred. For the first time I could tell he was Athelstan's son - though it's a shame the script didn't take the opportunity for Heahmund to ask Ivar how he'd learnt to play chess. As I recall, it was Alfred who taught him. 

This was very much a set-up episode: next week we'll hopefully get some decent payoff. Though I have to say, I'm not as invested as I once was. Most of the original players are gone, and those that remains are shadows of their former selves. Does anyone know if we're seeing Rollo this season?

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8 hours ago, Silverglitter said:

Ragnar and Athelstan had chemistry though. The show clearly wants Ivar and Heahmund to be the new Ragnar/Athelstan. I will agree with that. JRM just ain't a good enough actor.

I have never seen JRM in anything, but this guy is not a good actor. He just doesn't compare with Alex Hogh Anderson in their scenes. It's kind of hard to watch. I was hoping he would die a couple of episodes ago. 

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10 hours ago, LittleIggy said:

I hate Margarethe. Besides her scheming, the actress is so vapid. No wonder Ubbe is attracted to Torvi ( love her!). 

As for Floki’s settlement site, there are a lot of things I would have a problem with but not hot water and geothermal heat! The Amazing Race began racing in Iceland tonight. Some breathtaking scenery.

Lagertha looks younger than Bjorn.

They went to one of the waterfalls don't know if it was the same one Floki was at.  Also saw a raven and thought of Ragnar.  Last week's "Vikings" episode was on at 8 PM opposite "The Amazing Race" so I'd watch Iceland on TAR then flip channels during the commercial breaks and it always came up with the Floki/Iceland segments from last week during those minutes too, haha.  Love to see an historic TAR with Floki and Athelstan forced to be partners just to see Floki flip out.

And Floki the democratic socialist all of a sudden?  No more solving problems with an axe?  I'm sure Athelstan is happy to hear that ... belatedly.

8 hours ago, Ravenya003 said:

I'm disappointed in Bjorn. I know he's cheated on Torvi before, but I'd always hoped that infidelity would be the one thing he DIDN'T inherit from Ragnar. Doesn't he remember how furious he was on Lagertha's behalf when Ragnar cheated with Aslaug? 

...

Finally, some good material for Alfred. For the first time I could tell he was Athelstan's son - though it's a shame the script didn't take the opportunity for Heahmund to ask Ivar how he'd learnt to play chess. As I recall, it was Alfred who taught him. 

This was very much a set-up episode: next week we'll hopefully get some decent payoff. Though I have to say, I'm not as invested as I once was. Most of the original players are gone, and those that remains are shadows of their former selves. Does anyone know if we're seeing Rollo this season?

Yeah young Boy Bjorn read his dad the riot act after the first time Ragnar got together with Aslaug.  In the end he chose his mother over his father when Lagertha left Kattegat.  Bjorn has sure gone down hill.  He will never get as good a wife as Torvi.  And Ubbe seems to know it.  Ubbe to Bjorn: "When you get tired of your latest, the Sammi princess, you want to take M-something out for a spin?  You are welcome to her."  (Sammi are what we used to call Laplanders, right?).

Yeah glad to see Alfred getting some good quality air time.  He is one sharp dude.

I think Rollo will probably have an exit episode but not until the second half of the season, not these 10 episodes.  I can't imagine Hirst not having the actor back as a guest star for Rollo's death since he was so major a character for so long.   And he has to set up Rollo's future linage in Normandy if the show lasts that long to get to that William.

Meanwhile speaking of death the anvils are still dropping left and right on Lagertha's exit.  I mean Bjorn has to basically talk her into not giving up now but waiting until the big battle?

I'm not spoiled about Rollo or Lagertha.  It just seems very obvious by the way Hirst is handling Lagertha now and logical to give Rollo a send off too later on.  It would also be funny that Floki, who wants to go to Valhalla the most, ends up the last person still standing around back on earth (Midgard) of his generation.

Meanwhile I have a hard time with the reformation of Harold and Halfdan.  Every time I see them I see what they did (rape, torture, sadistic murder) to that innocent French farm family.  But then I have never forgiven Floki for "solving" his problem with Athelstan with an axe even though I like him as a character.

Edited by green
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22 minutes ago, green said:

Love to see an historic TAR with Floki and Athelstan forced to be partners just to see Floki flip out.

It's against TAR rules to murder your partner.

Taking a comment about Rollo to the media thread.

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1 hour ago, Haleth said:

It's against TAR rules to murder your partner.

Taking a comment about Rollo to the media thread.

Yeah thanks to that link about Rollo as well as it had a minute plus interview with the actor playing Ivar too.  Nice link.  Thanks.

And did Jonathan (Season 6) know it was against the rules to murder your partner on TAR?  Also Ragnar & Ecbert (Team Kings) for the win on "TAR 82: Vikings/TAR Mash-Up."

Edited by green
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Another really good episode.  They are building up the battle nicely.  

Yeah, I thought Ivar and Heahmund were going to make out too.  I like the interaction between the two but agree they are no Ragnar and Athelstan.  

Quote

We got seriously shortchanged by the Africa plot. And the second time two.  the first raid with Floki i could swear there were meaningful looks with one of the female Arab captives and Bjorn. But nothing came of it. 

Bjorn also had sex with Astrid, which everyone has seemed to forget on the show, including Bjorn.

The Lothbrok men are whores and it's hilarious that Bjorn used to read Ragnar the riot act about it and he turned out to be worse than Ragnar in this department.  While I won't excuse it, I understood at least that Ragnar wanted more sons when he hooked up with Aslaug.  Bjorn just wants to screw the newest shiny object he sees.  

He doesn't deserve Torvi and I also like Ubbe and Torvi.  Ubbe needs to drop his annoying wife or let Lagertha finish her off.

Never would have guessed that Harald would have become one of my favorite characters.  Before this season, I ranged from being disgusted to indifferent when it came to his character.

I also very much enjoyed the scenes with Alfred and how he got the monk to freak out when he mentioned Ragnar's name.

Edited by benteen
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(Haven't seen this episode yet -- I don't comment on them until I have.  So this comment is a continuation from the earlier episode observation.)

Work Colleague and I were talking about Ragnar/Athelstan and Ivar/Tudor just yesterday - we both see the chemistry and both agree completely that Ragnar and Athelstan needed to just get a room while Ivar and Tudor seem to be more father/son.  (Remember, I haven't seen this episode yet.  My father/son impression comes from that emotional scene they had in the place where Tudor was in chains and Ivar was sitting on a pedestal talking to him, previously.  It was like Ivar was looking at a Ragnar replacement -- the scene was even set up atmospherically to bring to mind the scene with Ivar and Ragnar as Ragnar was in the cage saying farewell to him.  It probably resonated with Ivar the same way it did with me.)

Over my long life, I have always been a sucker for Bromances with Chemistry.  (I loved Robin to Adam West's Batman.  Do.  Not.  Judge.  Me.)  The Ragnar/Athelstan bromance is one for the ages.  When I read above (I love spoilers) that we hear Athelstan's voice, my heart leapt for joy.

 

For I am weak and worthless.

 

Love me some Athelstan.

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Some bright spots this week. It was nice to see Alfred's character develop. 

Not liking the new princess. Not liking that Bjorn would ditch Torvi like that. I like Ubbe with Torvi better than with his dim-witted wife. 

The not-Ivar brother seems to be jealous of Ivar's relationship with the bishop.

I like Harald and Halfdan better separately. 

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I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop on Astrid and the whaler, because that kid saw them together.  

Halfdan didn't convince me that he wouldn't take his brother's side when the fighting begins.  I hope I'm wrong though.

Ubbe and Torvi would make a nice couple and it would serve Bjorn right to be insanely jealous if that happens.  What a man whore.

Still waiting for M-something's demise. *evil cackling*

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For some reason I found this episode much more engaging and enjoyable than the last string of recent eps.  Alfred was awesome, the voice of Athelstan/Louis XIV was touching, and finally there's a glimmer of hope that useless Margrethe is on her way out.  

My only nit-pick is that I would have built my Icelandic hut a little farther away from the geysir.  When the wind blows the spray they're going to be soaked!  

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41 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Ubbe and Torvi would make a nice couple and it would serve Bjorn right to be insanely jealous if that happens.  What a man whore.

I just hope that when (not if. They're telegraphing it waaaayyy too much for it not to be on the horizon) it happens, that Ubbe is good to her and faithful. I just want Torvi to be insanely happy and for Bjorn to realize that the grass ain't always greener.

I just feel like the show has dropped the ball with Bjorn. He could've been so much more than he is between what we know of the historical character and that on the show he's the son of Ragnar and Lagertha. But, he's basically nothing more than a big ol slut who occasionally goes on adventures that only tangentially tie into the show. I always thought Bjorn would be the big gun of the second generation, but I think they've switched gears to make that Ivar. Hogh is a much better actor than Ludwig, so I can understand it from that perspective.

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I thought it was very telling that when kind Torvi offered her gift from Bjorn to Ubbe to give to M-something, Ubbe refused it.  I think he knows now that she's nothing more than a conniving woman who'd stop at nothing to be queen, she doesn't really love him, and he's just a means for her to reach her goal.  Bjorn fucked a relationship with a good woman.  He's an idiot.

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2 hours ago, jackjill89 said:

The not-Ivar brother seems to be jealous of Ivar's relationship with the bishop.

Ivar and Heahmund have kind of a brothery thing going on. I know a lot of people want to see it as some kind of 'hawt attraction' thing (and yeah, I know some of you are probably just joking), but I keep seeing something almost familial in their scenes. Like, with Heahmund as an older brother or cousin type.

Hvitserk should be jealous. Ivar sees him as as a pet or minion, not as a brother. Funny that Hvitserk accused Ubbe of that, but at least Ubbe cares about him.

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I mentioned above that, because of the sentimental scene between Ivar and Heahmund in the "Prisoner" episode, I think they are going for a father/older brother kind of relationship for Ivar -- not a sexual chemistry kind of Ragnar/Athelstan relationship.

 

ETA:  It's clear that Ivar does not respect Hvisterk in any way.

Edited by Captanne
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I loved the consternation of Floki's little band of followers when he dragged them halfway across Iceland to show them what looked at first glace like a big smoking crater.  It's so nice that NOW he's interested in share and share alike in some sort of Dark Ages version of social democracy.  If they were going to go for an Athelstan voiceover anyway, maybe they should have had him laughing there.  Also nice to see the Vikings discover the joy of a hot bath.

Bjorn makes me think of the people I've known who've described themselves as serial monogamists.  Each new person they fall in love with is The One and the absolute greatest thing ever and there's no hard feelings to the person they're shuffling off to the side, but you know how these things are.  I did quite like some of Alexander Ludwig's line readings this episode, particularly in how matter of factly he told the story of inadvertently eating their former employer and in reminiscing with Lagertha about their days farming but yeah, any cachet you might have as the biggest baddest Viking in the place is immediately undercut by having to have your mom go ask for a girl for you.

I want to like the scenes of Team Lagertha sitting around trying to out think Ivar, just as I want to like the Ivar-Heahmund scenes but they each ended up feeling like stuff I'd seen before and a little too on the nose.  I too had a moment of wondering if they were really going to go there with Ivar and Heahmund, given what we've seen with Ivar's past issues with women and ability to perform.  Alex Hogh is really giving these scenes everything he's got, but he's not getting much in return to bounce off of from JRM who seems to be reading most of his lines with the same curious lack of inflection.

Margarethe continuing to plot and wheedle is making every last character on Team Lagertha look weak for putting up with it, including Ubbe.  I'm glad the show is attempting to develop an actual character for Alfred beyond just being the sainted seed of Athelstan.  As much as I loved and still miss that character and am willing to root for his son, he needs to be more than that.  The scene with the monk? abbot? disparaging Athelstan and reacting to the mere mention of Ragnar was a great illustration of how history can be twisted or recast in the retelling.

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16 hours ago, Silverglitter said:

If they wanted Margarette to play Lady Macbeth, they should've cast a decent actress.

It's obvious that English is not her first language, but neither is it for several other of the actors on this show.  She really struggles, but so would I trying to speak Danish.  I agree, though, that she's not a very good actress at all.

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7 hours ago, green said:

And Floki the democratic socialist all of a sudden? 

Hahaha.   That was my same comment to the hubby.  He was spouting off the agenda to a tee.

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2 hours ago, Silverglitter said:

Hvitserk should be jealous. Ivar sees him as as a pet or minion, not as a brother. Funny that Hvitserk accused Ubbe of that, but at least Ubbe cares about him.

Exactly.  It would behoove Hvitserk to remember that Ivar said "woof" to him, likening him to a dog. 

I don't care that much for Hvitserk anyway, so I wouldn't care if he got killed somehow.  Actually, he and Margarethe would have made a nice, backstabbing, conniving couple.

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You know, if I ignore of his past horrid actions and even the fact that he actually kidnapped Astrid before marrying her, Harald can be a likable guy, heh.  In all seriousness, I really like how they've been handling the character this season, and the actor really has beens shining this year.  Halfdan too.  Again, splitting them up might have been one of the best decisions so far.

Sigh... Bjorn really is like his father.  Poor Torvi deserves better.  Not sure what to make of Bjorn's new thing with this princess who is into bondage.  Or Torvi/Ubbe, except that I love it because it's got Margrethe all pissy and she's the worst.  I still feel like she's going to inadvertently cause Team Largertha's downfall, but she'll accidentally take down Ubbe and herself while doing so.

So, Floki's now got his gang chilling at the some hot springs and is even floating out the idea of having a democracy of all things (I can only imagine how their election cycles will turn out!)  Still enjoying the little insights with the rest of the group.  Kris Holden-Reid's character continues to be a whiny downer though.  Spear his ass, Viking Edge!

I enjoyed the Ivar/Heahmund scenes even though I agree that Alex Hogh is a vastly superior actor compared to Jonathan Rhys Meyers (who I do have fondness for, but he has his limits to be frank.)

Alfred's stuff about inputing changes into how the church does thing was interesting.  Nice hearing Athelstan's voice again.

Already preparing for it: Lagertha is so going to die!

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I don't blame the doubting Viking guy for not believing Floki because what he's saying does sound too good to be true.   I think it's wise of that guy to be cautious and sleep with one eye open until he sees how things pan out.   I know I would.    

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18 hours ago, Silverglitter said:

Ragnar and Athelstan had chemistry though. The show clearly wants Ivar and Heahmund to be the new Ragnar/Athelstan. I will agree with that. JRM just ain't a good enough actor.

I think they're supposed to be the new Ragnar and Ecbert.

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2 minutes ago, wlk68 said:

I think they're supposed to be the new Ragnar and Ecbert.

Manipulative and even more manipulative? ;P

But, yeah, that actually makes more sense. I guess I'm just seeing parallels with Athelstan/Ragnar because of the holy man thing. But, Athelstan and Heahmund don't have a damn thing in common other than being religious clerics.

Heahmund would be lucky to be even a quarter as magnificent as Ecbert. I really miss that calculating bastard.

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42 minutes ago, Stallion12 said:

I miss Eckert too, he was a lowlife, but the actor played him so well I enjoyed his schemes. 

Linus Roach. Love him.

8 hours ago, nowornever said:

After one of the Floki scenes, all I could think was "Get the pregnant woman out of the hot tub!"  

 I wondered about that. Pregnant women are supposed to avoid hot tubs, aren’t they?

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When Bjorn promised to always take care of Torvi and his children, I felt like screaming, "Yeah, you did a great job of that with Little Siggy, didn't you?" I'm still mad at him for the way he discarded his daughter. For all his faults, Ragnar never turned his back on any of his kids. Even when his feelings for Aslaug took a nosedive, he was still a good father to their boys. 

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Oh my God, I miss Athelstan. 

Alfred is lovely, though, eh?  “Since you’re so humble, you might want to preach in English....Just a thought.”  LOVE HIM. 

I was just flipping through Netflix and swung by Versailles. Manoman is that actor going to be typecast if he’s not careful. 

 

Also, now that I’ve seen the episode, I am able to say I stand by my earlier comments. Especially that Ivor looks to Tudor as a big brother not with a lover kind of chemistry. 

 

As for Tudor’s acting?  He reminds me of a young, breathy William Shatner as Kirk.  Every. Syllable. Is. Important.  It’s very, very hammy. 

Edited by Captanne
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7 hours ago, nodorothyparker said:

I loved the consternation of Floki's little band of followers when he dragged them halfway across Iceland to show them what looked at first glace like a big smoking crater.  It's so nice that NOW he's interested in share and share alike in some sort of Dark Ages version of social democracy.  If they were going to go for an Athelstan voiceover anyway, maybe they should have had him laughing there.  Also nice to see the Vikings discover the joy of a hot bath.

Bjorn makes me think of the people I've known who've described themselves as serial monogamists.  Each new person they fall in love with is The One and the absolute greatest thing ever and there's no hard feelings to the person they're shuffling off to the side, but you know how these things are.  I did quite like some of Alexander Ludwig's line readings this episode, particularly in how matter of factly he told the story of inadvertently eating their former employer and in reminiscing with Lagertha about their days farming but yeah, any cachet you might have as the biggest baddest Viking in the place is immediately undercut by having to have your mom go ask for a girl for you.

I want to like the scenes of Team Lagertha sitting around trying to out think Ivar, just as I want to like the Ivar-Heahmund scenes but they each ended up feeling like stuff I'd seen before and a little too on the nose.  I too had a moment of wondering if they were really going to go there with Ivar and Heahmund, given what we've seen with Ivar's past issues with women and ability to perform.  Alex Hogh is really giving these scenes everything he's got, but he's not getting much in return to bounce off of from JRM who seems to be reading most of his lines with the same curious lack of inflection.

Margarethe continuing to plot and wheedle is making every last character on Team Lagertha look weak for putting up with it, including Ubbe.  I'm glad the show is attempting to develop an actual character for Alfred beyond just being the sainted seed of Athelstan.  As much as I loved and still miss that character and am willing to root for his son, he needs to be more than that.  The scene with the monk? abbot? disparaging Athelstan and reacting to the mere mention of Ragnar was a great illustration of how history can be twisted or recast in the retelling.

 

22 hours ago, Silverglitter said:

Bjorn and Torvi have such adorable chemistry. So of course their relationship was doomed. Bjorn and Lagertha are ridiculous. Having him have her ask that king to set him up with his daughter was so middle school it almost hurt. I already hate her and this relationship. Adult Bjorn's never been a fave, but I like him less and less with each passing episode.

If they wanted Margarette to play Lady Macbeth, they should've cast a decent actress. Ah well, she'll be gone soon. Cause, Torvi/Ubbe is clearly the plan. 

There is protocol people. Lagetha is royalty so it is appropriate for her to speak directly to a king. Bjorn is like a knight--but no higher. It would be presumptious for him to approach the king uninvited to discuss his daughter.

 

It's as if everyone forgot that the Vikings have different customs than we do with respect to love/marriage/fidelity. That difference was shown in Season I with Athelstan and Lagertha/Ragnar as well as Ragnar with Aslaug. Bjorn did say he would provide for his children but made it clear that it was "over" for him and Torvii. That seems consistent with what we learned about the Vikings earlier.

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7 hours ago, Silverglitter said:

Ivar and Heahmund have kind of a brothery thing going on.

Yeah, they are the brotherhood of the insane.  I don't mind JRM's performance so much cuz I think he's doing batshitcrazy. 

I like the (possible pairing of) Torvi and Ubbe.  If anyone deserves to rule Kattegut, they do.  Both are kind, thoughtful people, as much as any bloodthirsty Vikings can be.  If only they could kill Ivar and send Harald home to live in wedded bliss with his new bride and baby.  And Bjorn will leave Princess Reindeer Balls soon enough to explore more lands  

Was there any native animal life on Iceland before it was settled?  Other than birds?  I hope Floki and his followers brought some livestock. 

I've never liked the storyline that Alfred was Aethelstan's son. I know IRL his faith was his primary motivation for routing the Danes, but he didn't have to be the illegitimate son of a monk to be so pious.

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24 minutes ago, Haleth said:

And Bjorn will leave Princess Reindeer Balls soon enough to explore more lands 

ROFL! That actually made me guffaw out loud.

 

25 minutes ago, Haleth said:

send Harald home to live in wedded bliss with his new bride and baby.

Yeah, I doubt the kids is his. They made a point of of showing her with the captain guy and then she got gang banged by his crew. That little kid spied it all too. Of course, the kid seeing it all won't necessarily come into play. This show creates weird focal points with things like that and then completely leaves that thread dangling as if it never happened (Bjorn's slow motion eye contact with the Arabic chick during his first Mediterranean trip, for example)

Plus, while he is being all adoring, she just isn't really into it. But, I suppose it wouldn't be out of the question for her to genuinely fall for him out of the blue. This show never takes the time to properly develop relationships, except maybe Floki and Helga. Ragnar and Lagertha were already together to begin with so they don't count.

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2 hours ago, Winipo75 said:

When Bjorn promised to always take care of Torvi and his children, I felt like screaming, "Yeah, you did a great job of that with Little Siggy, didn't you?" I'm still mad at him for the way he discarded his daughter. For all his faults, Ragnar never turned his back on any of his kids. Even when his feelings for Aslaug took a nosedive, he was still a good father to their boys. 

Little Siggy, the daughter that was completely forgotten about the moment that she died.  Literally nothing has been said about her since she was found dead, least of all from Bjorn.  It never made sense, especially considering that her death could have explained some of the reasons why Sigurd hated Ivar and Lagertha decided to overthrow Aslaug.

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SotN's Weekly Recap!  In 19 acts (again):

 

ACT 1 - The Meek shall inherit the earth...I think not!: 

ItB is waxing poetically, while he looks at the moon.  Meanwhile the Bishop is thinking; "WTF, this guy is crazier than me"!

ACT 2 - H the B aka the family psychologist:

Bjorn and HtB are enjoying a cruise on the way back home.  Bjorn spits out that he does not love Torvi anymore to his new family counselor, the counselor could care less.  Cut to the welcome home parade and you would of thought they just won the Viking equivalent to the World Cup or Super Bowl!  Do they just miss Bjorn that much?  Meanwhile, the Sami look on...

ACT 3 - Mrs. Floki takes a stand:

This chick is the only one that believes in our boy Floks. She definitely don't want Mr. Doom and Gloom F&^^ing with her future hubby... and this act disappears in a flash!

ACT 4 - Welcome Snaefrid AKA RudolphTheRedNoseNutGnasher :

Laggy invites the Sami to help in the upcoming battle; must be due to their legendary battle prowess??? Love when Laggy asks HtB what he saw that was Amazing.  He is very smooth in saying; "nothing", when describing the desert.  He is starting to grow on me too...thinking about gettin' the Viking Bieber look if my woman thinks it hot LOL.  The way Laggy leans into him; I am thinking she is hot for more dirty Viking rape like she did with his bro; ugghhh.  I respect his honesty; when she asks if she knows if he is lying..."You don't"!  Of course, Bj believes in him..smart or not?  Ub's wife "M", continues to sicken us.  The Ugly son gets a pocket knife, and we all chuckle and snort along with HtB when Bj says; "We ate him"! LOL

ACT 5 - Return to Flokhalla!:

Bitcher Bitchersson keeps on complaining.  His Wife; Bitchess Bitchersdottir agrees that this place is evil.  Can someone not put a sharp knife through their heads please!? FFW (Floki's future wife) asks; "is there anyone here who would not like a slice of hot bread"?  OMG; I hope this isn't turning into a viking age porno!  Were those comments sexual? LOL

ACT 6 - But mommmm, I want her!:

Bj starts to get on my nerves for the first time when he asks mommy to help him cut off a slice.  Even more gross that she obliges.  Poor Torvi gives permission for him to run amok; and then runs off to cry (we all cry a little inside with her).  Bj just wants to Netflix and Chill with da princess of Reindeer nuts and the dad seems okay with that.  We all get a little pissed when Bj tells Laggy he has dumped Torvi and she don't even blink an eye. :(  In a really long segment) we get to see Ub's go outside to mop up the sloppy seconds from Fish Eyes (oops, I mean Torvi); and they wind up swapping spit with whiny "M" watching on.  We then get to flash to a captivating scene where "M" says; Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"!...and then rides him.

ACT 7 - Missin' the Pig Shit:

Laggy remembers Ragnar, which is sweet; but she also thinks fondly of when she was a nobody. What Viking/Shield Maiden ever wanted that?  Bj is proud of mommy and gives a little strange look when she mentions how FairHair stole her little toy Skankhair.  Bj tries to pump her up for the upcoming battle against Fenrir.  He can see that his mommy is simply giving up...sadly, so can we....

ACT 8 - Chess or Hood Dominoes?:

We cut to ItB playing Chess with the Bishop (with boy band in the back ground).  Love how ItB is calm and cool, while the Bishop is slamming rooks down like he is Ice Cube playing Dominoes.  You get the feeling that this is when the B starts trying to be sexy; and so far, ItB is not falling for it.

ACT 9 - SkankHair woofs some whale blubber:

We see SH barfing.  I hoped right away it was morning sickness from FH (who banged her once?).  I have a sick feeling though, it was the nerdy, chubby, whale catcher teen; that probably had 18 years of "friend zoning" built up in his loins.  People love how much FH is excited, and are falling in love with this "new" man.... I say, he has always been this man.  We just got turned off on how much he didn't mind pissing and setting fire to a few JC worshipers.  Maybe doing those things in his past was to him, the same way we feel about stepping on an Ant?

ACT 10 - Hot Tub Time Machine:

The young couple are still hundreds of years from some MD saying you shouldn't sex it up while preggo in a hot tub, so don't be so hard on them.  Floks asked for a sign and I guess sex in a hot tub was it?

ACT 11 - FineHair Skoling his bro's!:

FH come in while the chess match is on its last legs, and celebrates his beautiful (gag) bride being with seed.  ItB shows a quick inner reflection of sadness, that he cannot ever say the same...awwwww. :(

ACT 12 - Bjorn visits the Sami Pimp (aka, the chicks dad):

So we get to see Bj follow her into the tent; she ties him up, and then all sick hell brakes lose! LOL  Tummy painting!  Hog Tie the viking!? OMG!  When she starts her "sexy talk" about not fully castrating the reindeer up north yonder, but instead, having the men hold the deer down while the woman munch the balls to pieces while still in the sack must have gave many viewers the heebie jeebies! LOL    She tells Bj; "at least I am not going to chew your balls"; but comes right back with a challenge about how Sami men last for several hours....was he up to the challenge?  We may have to wait for the director's cut to find out.

ACT 13 - The Floks see the future:

Finally Floki talks to his followers.  His koolaid is the future.  The Lawgiver, not using the ax to settle things, are all things that were the future of Iceland.  Was it all his idea?  Surprised there is no mention in the Edda's of this great visionary.  Meanwhile; Bitcher Bitchersson keeps moving his lips...stab him already!

ACT 14 - 20 Ships:

And Fairhair is happy with what he sees...

ACT 15 - Alfred drops the mic:

Love this segment.  The old fart monk master talking about apostate this and apostate that.  "That is my dad mother F*&^%er!", Alfred screams inside.  Instead of pimp slapping him right then and there, he turns the knowledge of an old soul and turns it on the stupid monk master.  "Tell it in English you stupid bitch"!, he says in so many words.  I don't remember what else happened, I just envisioned him dropping the mic on the old fart...good job Athelstansson...we are all starting to root for you!  Oops, almost forgot; loved how the old fart says; "Ragnar was the devil incarnate"!....and all the little piggies dropped their paint brushes. LOL

ACT 16 - Psycho Bishop talking about the night before X-mas, and every one was feeling Merry (Mary)....(old joke):

Good ol' Bishop tried to explain the Virgin M. to a non-christian...good luck with that. ItB again kills every scene he is in, while the Bishop is Soap Opera worthy at best.  Love how the writer brings up parts of the Edda with the story of Thor and the Serpent.  The Bishop shouts he "is the one" after the knife to the face"....Some see this as sexual tension between the two; I see it as a sexual predator (the Bishop), and a person who would play with others emotions,, but would not touch that Bishop even if he offered him new sticks to gait with! LOL

ACT 17 - Laggy's numbers growing too:

20 ships for both sides?  Hell of a battle comin' me thinks!  Meanwhile, we see Bj layin' some plans for his mommy with some input from Ub's "less than man".  I love the flashing to Ivar and the B playing a "REAL" game of Hnefatafl!  That is what they should of been playing all along (aka the game easily learned and rarely mastered).  You can tell (while you watch ItB dominate the game far away), that Ub's fears Ivar genius.

ACT 18 - Daddy, is that you?:

"I can't follow you pappy...I don't aim to be humble".  We all felt those chills.  Dead pappy speakin' while Alfred says the prayers is a powerful moment for the young man...will he be the only one that can match Ivar's genius?

ACT 19 - End of the world:

Bj and mommy see the full moon.....nuff said!

 

Until next time crayyyseee VF's!!! :)

Edited by Son of the Norse
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Alex Hogh Anderson is excellent, really good even though Ivar is a psycho, LOL. I just don't get why the men are styled as grizzled and they leave the women as dewy fresh as ever, Lagertha would be in her mid 40's now at least and would look like a piece of beef jerky, in fact the actress looks like she is aging backwards, LOL.. I love it when the show has the actors speaking in various languages, then they fade back to english, this is a common sense device that I first saw in the film Valkyrie and works much better than the old fashioned trick of merely having the actors speak in heavy usually English accents, LOL. 

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I used to be the world's biggest Vikings fan. I liked all stories and all characters without exception.

Sadly this season has turned into this repeating show of Talk, Sex, Fight, repeat...

I don't watch Game of Thrones after the first season because of this.

I'm sure it titalates some viewers but for me the forced sex scenes are just boring and embarrasing. 

It was a rare moment in previous seasons but now it seems like every episode.

Please stop it, its boring!

Edited by Danez
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Couple more things occurred to me.  I'm not sure that Ivar/Heamund are supposed to be a "new" pairing any more than Ragnar and Ecbert's balance of power or Ragnar and Athelstan's love were repeats or homages of each other.  These are unique, profound, and highly entertaining relationships between strong male characters. Bear in mind that we are in an era when a strong female role is viewed as remarkable ("Oh, look at the strong Viking woman, that's a cultural thing!" as opposed to yawning at the sight of a strong woman and moving on) -- so I don't think strong female bonds are as likely to be played up for narrative advantage.  (Also, I focus bromances myself so....yay!)

As for regal roles -- Lagertha is a queen.  She's a Viking queen and, therefore, would be the one to approach and be approached by other monarchs.  Especially other Viking monarchs -- male or female.  As mentioned above in a different context, "strong women" seem to be a Viking thing both in the show and factually based on the historical record.  (Just a few months ago a Viking tomb assumed to be a male warrior was proven to be a female.)  https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/09/viking-warrior-woman-archaeology-spd/

Bjorn is more of a "prince", since he's her son -- but as the eldest and clearly the most "famous" because of his travels he is also powerful in his own right.  (Although that really doesn't come across much, does it?)

I wasn't bothered by his comment about Princes Reindeer Balls (tm, someone else and completely hilarious!) to Lagertha.  Both their personal and political relationships made it seem like a normal thing for him to do.  With the coming of the full moon they are expected to "tear our culture apart" with a brother vs. brother apocalypse.  They are trying to forge a union with an ally.  Why on earth would it make sense in any narrative for Bjorn to think it would be all right for him to bone the princess without permission?  Jesus.  That could be personal and cultural suicide.  It never occurred to me that asking emasculated him -- it was just common sense.

Edited by Captanne
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ACT 7 - Missin' the Pig Shit:

Laggy remembers Ragnar, which is sweet; but she also thinks fondly of when she was a nobody. What Viking/Shield Maiden ever wanted that?  Bj is proud of mommy and gives a little strange look when she mentions how FairHair stole her little toy Skankhair.  Bj tries to pump her up for the upcoming battle against Fenrir.  He can see that his mommy is simply giving up...sadly, so can we....

In fairness, Ragnar also talked about wishing that they had never left the farm. 

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Bjorn: "I want to marry your daughter." You just met this chick!

I had to laugh at Ivar saying Bjorn was a great warrior but not very smart.

On 1/3/2018 at 9:42 PM, Silverglitter said:

Harald's affection for Astrid is just so sweet. How the hell did he become so adorable?

His elation about the baby was so sweet. I kinda feel bad for him that it might all come crashing down. 

I've never been the biggest fan of Astrid but the actress has very beautiful eyes.

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Hmm.  Interesting.  While I enjoyed watching Harald's happiness about the pregnancy, I didn't see a marked change in his "feelings" for Astrid.  He seemed the same to me -- he likes her.  He always has.  He wanted to marry her much more than she wanted to marry him.  But he also didn't suddenly seem gushy about her.  He was delighted about the pregnancy.  Which, also goes in line with the Viking culture as we've been shown -- they are a very practical people.  (I'm thinking in particular of Torvi and Bjorn's "divorce".  They are clearly emotional about it in their own ways -- Bjorn selfish and stoic; Torvi crying by herself and kind of torn -- which makes sense because it was his idea and not hers.  But no Shakespearean dramatics about it.  At least not that we've seen yet.)  Their social structure seems to be very egalitarian and, to my mind, reasonable.

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