nowornever

"Mr. T starter kit"cracked me up, although I thought it looked like Jason was wearing scrubs except for the shoes.

Either of the bottom two could have gone, but I was a little surprised it was Edet. The judges were more critical of Michael's work when they were rehashing things. Julie nearly melted down. I was glad that Scott "Tighty Whiteys" Conant convinced her not to give up. She and Eric seem to doubt themselves sometimes, but they generally do OK. How many ice cream makers and blast freezers do they have there? Getting use of one doesn't seem to be an issue, but Josh did comment about Edet opening the freezer to check on his stuff because his popsicles were in there too. Of course even I was yelling at Edet to close the damn door. If he had left it alone, it might have saved him.

Ditto! They're all relatively pleasant and talented. I am sorry to see Riccardo go- I'm glad I didn't have to make that decision. I'm so shallow, but I miss his biceps too.

I was a little surprised that they didn't question Tracey about using phyllo dough. I seem to remember others being taken to task for it in prior seasons. We always see baklava in the winter, but they didn't criticize her for that, so it must be a spring dessert elsewhere. The top four enchanted forest cakes were beautiful, even if Saber's didn't meet the criteria. I really liked that challenge. Corey's advantage for the honey/walnut challenge was so lame. That stuff is for amateurs like me, not real bakers, like most of these folks.

I was happy to see Karina win, and she deserved it. Saber looked a little piqued during the first challenge when everyone gushed over her eggs, but they were beautiful. The fudge in the middle was genius. Saber essentially made Peeps, but I'd actually eat his. I think some of the front-runners fell from their pedestals though. Corey's been pretty solid so far, but his desserts confused me- what was that granola crunch egg? And the rice pudding in the cake? And dear God, Ricardo's primary-colored hat thing. I really thought he was going home with that mess. The inside looked good and must have tasted incredible, because the outside was hideous. I do think the judges looked back on his overall work so far, and that's what saved him. Marqessa fell apart right out of the gate and never got back up. I didn't think her hats were awful, but there wasn't anything outstanding enough to save them, either. Tracey seems to fall mostly in the lower tier, but she's still holding on.

Maybe I'm an armchair quarterback, but I kept yelling out ideas for the animal donuts. What were most of those things? The only one that looked like the assigned animal was the bear. That was a dumb challenge from the get-go. The watercolor cakes challenge was better, but for professional bakers, some of them really struggled with a fairly simple concept. Old CJ mentioned this above, but it seems like there's always one or two people who get an unusual ingredient, while the rest get more common ones. Fennel would be hard to work with and I'm glad those two got through to the next round. Meat cake!

Last night I noticed that the kids must be given clean aprons before they present their dishes. We were laughing because while they were baking they were all just COVERED in flour, food coloring, etc. Karthik even had something in his hair. Davis was spotless, which just made it even funnier. But Jenna dodged a bullet again. Oh my goodness, what was that? Misha's weren't baked, so I can't argue his departure, but yikes. I'm not sure why they put Paige in there. I don't she was quite at the same level of disaster that the other two were. I feel like it's unusual to have three people called on the carpet. And Valarie almost backed over a kid!!!!

No, Ivar, that wasn't your baby because you didn't have sex with Freydis, not because the baby wasn't perfect, you idiot.

Judith's very sudden decline aside (sloppy timeline), I felt better about this episode than I have about most this season. I liked Torvi being a badass, then vulnerable. She and Ubbe are good together. Bjorn and Hvitsirk reunited and are off to rid the world of Ivar, and we got an awesome end (?) to the Iceland story. The younger members of our household had a spirited discussion about whether certain scenes count as Tolkien references since the vikings pre-dated him, or if Michael Hirst really intended a nod to his work (and the movies) with King Frodo, Floki going underground and hoping to see dwarves, the shot of the lava flowing, etc. I don't understand Lagertha's position in Wessex, but I'm glad she's talking to Ragnar again and not pining for Bishop Heahmund.

I didn't like this challenge. Carving a shape from blondies/brownies very rarely goes well because you don't have a good edge, especially with nuts, etc mixed in. Forcing someone out just because of the team they happen to be on doesn't seem right either. And finding a way to adhere sprinkles to something very sweet, like a blondie, might make it even sweeter. I think Paige had the right idea with her raspberry coulis. And making the kid with the almond allergy work with almonds for the second time is just wrong. I also wasn't sure that Gavin's brownie was any worse than Jenna's. It's hard to see kids eliminated.

Maybe I missed this somewhere before, but I just found out that Raggna Ragnars is the actress who plays Gunnhild. She was born Ragnheiður Ragnarsdóttir, and must have changed it somewhere along the line. So does this mean that Ragnar's son just married Ragnar's daughter?

Considering that Bjorn and Gunnhild need King Harald in the fight against Ivar, they really shouldn't be baiting him like that. Dummies. Watching Ivar give that speech, then leave the crying baby in the woods was just heartbreaking. When I realized that he wasn't going to turn around, I was hoping that Freydis would swoop in behind him, like Aslaug did, and save Baldur. No such luck apparently. And no glorious death for Judith- she will decline, then die of cancer. It's interesting that only she and Athelwulf are the ones to be done in by ordinary things. With a few exceptions, most of the main characters have died in battle or by execution. And speaking of execution, I nearly couldn't watch Hvitsirk's significant other and her family being burned alive. That was brutal. I think that Green was right in that Ivar wouldn't let Hvitsirk take her with him on this trip, but they should have left long ago.

The filming this season has been very bleak. Everything is gray, from the dim light in Alfred's castle to wet, grim Iceland. Ivar's den is dark except for little punctuations of firelight, so when the grass was green just before the young woman threw herself into the waterfall, it was really striking. It's really adding to the tone of the episodes and I like it.

"I've never really loved anyone...until now, but I'm not saying it unless you say it first." -Bjorn, the big hairy cliche. I'm not 100% certain that Gunhilde isn't playing Bjorn and Harald against each other. And it's awfully short-sighted to make a deal with someone that they can have your kingdom after you die, Bjorn. Especially if that other person is after your girlfriend too. We've already seen what Harald will do to what he perceives as a romantic rival when he killed the husband of the woman who said she'd only marry him if he was a king. I'm surprised that Ivar hasn't already killed off Hvitsirk, so maybe Thora will live to see him again. Looking forward to the clash of the brothers when he brings back that other king and Bjorn returns to Kattegat. I can't tell any of the people apart on Floki's Island of the Damned and I don't care. What happened to Floki the fighter? He just stood there and let those people be slaughtered. We debated on what Judith was doing too. Was she just inspecting her (non) aging body? Could she be pregnant? Breast cancer didn't even occur to me, but it could be that too. From the previews, next week looks interesting!

Athelstan would definitely NOT approve.