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S22.E01: Week 1: Premiere


OnceSane

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Ari: "The race car jokes ..." /sarcasm. Too funny. I will remember not to use any racing analogies when I date him after he dumps his F1. The single mom from Maine is SO beautiful -- and such a bitch, she's going to be the season's villain. That's too bad. My fav so far is Bekah since she rock climbs, has short hair and drove a '65 Mustang. (I almost bought one of those in the day but $1,500 was too much $!) The women saying they are overwhelmed by all the women coming in and everyone being so beautiful and everyone fighting to be with Arie have obviously never watched this show. I can't wait for a bunch to get sent home so I can get my fix of Arie and beautiful travel porn. Oh: The chick from Weiner giving him a little wiener and saying she hopes he doesn't have one -- Arie did a nice side step on that bad pun. She can go home first.

So many intros being fast forwarded means those chick are all fodder. Wish they wouldn't start with so many. 29. Yikes.

  • Love 10

Chelsea the Mom looks like Priscilla Presley from certain angles, so OTT beautiful ... then she opens her mouth and she turns into a shrieking harpe. When she got the FI rose, I shouted a horrible obscenity at my tv. It makes me think TPTB told Arie to keep her since her role is Head Shit Stirrer. Yuck. I wish this show would quit being The Most Dramatic Season EVAH and go back to being about romance and finding True LURVE. *cough* I know, but still, I can wish can't I?

  • Love 10

We're back, and I'm super excited and happy about it.  Happy New Year.

There was so much build up with Arie that I ended up being disappointed, because in any of the preshow material he was so awkward, and weird.  Asking someone's baby if they prefer blondes or brunettes.  LOL.  WTF?  Do the producers feed them this shit?

But, then this premiere was very good.  Why? The women are going nuts and they are just soooooo sooooooo sooo nervous.  It's hilarious!  I think and hope that that bodes for a good season.  Also, Arie is so damn chivalrous.  So far I like him because he is so gracious and kind to the women.  I loved when he did that car race and refused to pull ahead.  Oh goodness.  

Krystal's voice just reads porn to me so even though I want to like her, it's very hard, and I hate how that car race woman keeps inserting "lowkey" into all of her sentences.  Personal pet peeve.  

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
  • Love 6

I looked up Arie's Twitter and yeah, that wasn't an awkward sentence, it was him speaking without the use of any brain cells. WTH Arie, Bekah asks you a great question, what three things excite you, and you say THAT? Holy heck. He better redeem himself and not start saying "Her and I's relationship" or I'm going to have to reconsider. Or request he stop speaking and just look pretty. Heh. Yeah, that would work. Because I'm shallow.

  • Love 8

Hey, gang! I really haven’t been on PTV much in months (save a post or two once VDPR came back on air). I’m psyched to FINALLY have a good show to snark on again!! I missed you guys!

Nurse who loves it when people get shot because the more blood the better?? Uh...

Wonder whether Raven’s friend also enjoys frog gigging and mud bogging.

Wow, remember Kyle or Kent some dude with a K whose dad was a taxidermist and we thought that hometown Dad was creepy? Now we have a girl singing to a dead seal in a tree! What is this world coming to? Oh, 2018, so far just as surreal as 2017!

Wow, the Indian girl is drop-dead gorgeous and throw in all-you-can-eat chicken tikka masala on top of it?! So far my top pick!

The helping the homeless girl is laying it on a bit thick: TWO bags for YOU!

Chelsea (#2 out of the limo) must be the resident wacko/villain. They gave her “crazy music” and she just muttered “lots to learn” and nothing else. Keep your eye on this one!

Krystal is getting “fairy tale music.” Oh, maybe it’s “zen music” because of her heart meditation thing—disregard that music “clue.”

What’s up with Jenna’s erratic wide arm gestures? Hmm. This one screams resident crazy like Pomegrantate Ashley. Doesn’t matter, Arie only notices her beauty.

If Becca wins, Arie better forego the Neil Lane ring and propose to “do the damn thing” with whatever’s in that ring box.

Ew, pit stop?!? What in the—?!? Suddenly singing to a dead seal in a tree doesn’t seem so strange compared to “nice to meet you; sniff my arm pit!”

Dagger eyes from EVERYONE toward Maquel.

Montage of 20-somethings talking about how Old Man Arie is still pretty good looking for a geezer. He still has hair—even if it IS gray!

The crazy music girl is the first to steal him for time. Sign #2 of a villainess! “There have been sacrifices made.” Human sacrifices?! She’s not the one making the sacrifices in this passive construct. Mysterious, indeed.

The girl with the racecar has an actual camera—like that requires batteries and software and an adapter cable to get the photos onto your computer. 

The white girl in the mask is in on the inter-racial dating conversation because how do you know what race she is?? She has a mask!

The toddler car race was cute! A kiss! Yep, Chelsea is getting more geared up. Get ready for a meltdown from this one.

I knew Jenna was crazy from her erratic arms. She’s still all over the place and the foot massage stuff.

Kissing bandit, keep your mask on for the entirety of your time on the show like some guy many years ago. That worked out well for him {cough, cough}. Oh, she took it off already and she looks EXACTLY the same as all of the other blonde girls.

Heeeyy, Chris Harrison!! I like your new first-impression rose plate—some type of agate slab with rose(?) gold edging. Props department really kicked it up a notch this year with that find.

Yep, here comes Chelsea!! Proving once again, the background music does not lie!! Now they’ve intensified it with violins a la horror music! But he’s making out with her!!! Just wait for an “I’m not here to make friends” in 3-2-1... 

Beckah (with the short hair) is the stealth mean girl with lots to say about everyone.

My dead dad met you and was rooting for you?!? You need to save that for your first 1:1!! Come on! This is Bachelor 101! Everyone knows the sob story comes during the uneaten dinner, before the rose handoff, and right before the fireworks and/or surprise musical performance!

Chelsea gets the rose! Now she’s the villain whether she wants to be or not.

Surprising no one, Maquel gets the last rose. Guess the producers knew girl with the deceased dad was a goner and urged her to tell her sob story now. Either that, or it just tore the Bachelor continuum as described, and there was no course correction from there. Um, did your dad never meet ANY other men?!? Maybe you’ll marry a guy from the coffee shop he frequented or something. 

Coming up this season...lots of tears! The boyfriend showing up to propose—totally NOT at The FRC as edited—has a southern accent. Not too many Southern girls, right? Raven’s friend—and I can’t think who else.

  • Love 19

??

Loved Race Car Girl (last rose standing) showing up Mustang Girl in entrances, haha.?

Pixie Cut is cute. Arie likes her a lot, from the future episodes' previews.

Bibiana is REAL, y'all! Not taking any #*+&*!

I thought my favorite was soft-spoken Jessica Rabbit, but she looks to turn into a bee-yotch. Or maybe I misunderstood the preview.

Paris. Tuscany. Sigh. ?

Edited by LennieBriscoe
  • Love 5
15 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

This is the ditziest group of women in Bachelor history. So many "likes," so much uptalk, and everything that comes out of Krystal's mouth - "I help people be the best versions of themself [sic]." 

My early favorites are the woman who gave Arie the elephant cufflinks (Seine?), and Bekah who drove the Mustang. 

I missed the Elephant cufflinks!  Also, Chocolatine, I miss you over on The Americans forum!!! 

11 minutes ago, NeverLate said:

I'm hoping he was just nervous, cause this felt really really staged..:(

I would love to go back and watch the first 2-3 seasons of The Bachelor and 'ette to see how much things have changed!!!  Fleiss should somehow figure this out!  Very little was staged so it was far more real!

Edited by crgirl412
  • Love 3
2 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

She said it was because an elephant never forgets and she hopes Arie won't forget her.

I kept falling behind on The Americans last year, but I'll try to do better this year. :)

That's kind of cute but kind of corny.  The jury that lives in my head is still out. 

Last season was so goofy I can see how that happened!  I bought a Kindle and Prime in November so I binge watched all of the seasons.  That was intense, I have to say.  See you over there in a few months!! 

11 hours ago, lids said:

Peter always came off too closed off and self-involved.

That's because he is. It's hard to give too much attention to someone else when you're massively in love with yourself. 

This was a good premiere. I admit the clips I saw leading to the premiere had me a little skeptical but I thought Arie did okay. Points to him for making fun of himself on Twitter for that dumbass response to Bekah's question because yeah, only point of the night I was cringing really hard for him. But at least it was just that one time. Most of my cringe went to the women. I always love that part of every premiere where the desperation really starts to seep in because time is running out to have a conversation with the lead and attempts to be remembered become more and more embarrassing and cringe worthy. Good times. 

As per the usual, don't remember most of these people's names so I'll only comment on the ones I do remember. I liked Bekah. She seemed very chill and laid back about the whole thing and like she was truly just having a blast. Chelsea is the obvious villain and I'm already bored with her. The obvious ITM soundbites, the "I'm not a bitch", the "I'm here for him and I will be aggressive", etc. It's also been there and done that. It also doesn't help that I don't find her particularly attractive. To be honest, other than the kiss, I was surprised Arie gave her the FIR but I guess maybe the kiss was enough. Sienne is really beautiful and I liked the other Becca who did the fake proposal. Their one on one time together seemed very easy and comfortable. Nice energy between her and Arie.

Edited by truthaboutluv
  • Love 4

In the most shocking episode ever, The Bachelor casts a contestant with short hair. I'm having 1980s flashbacks with Beckah, and it's a good thing, I think? In other news, Chris Harrison looked the happiest I've ever seen him when he was greeting Arie in front of the mansion.  He was probably laughing inside at how they gave Peter the ol' switcheroo and showed him who's boss.

Quote

I’m mostly upset that they changed the name/occupation/age font. 

Yes! Something looked "off" tonight. Bring back the old font!

  • Love 11
30 minutes ago, lids said:

Let's face it, most of these young kids signed up for Peter.

After watching tonight, I think Arie is going to be the more dangerous lothario (compared to Peter) because Arie has nailed the look deeply into her eyes and act sincerely impressed and interested schtick. Peter always came off too closed off and self-involved.

Plus I'd rather see paint dry than watch Peter. Arie has the hands around the face kiss,  down pat, but we've seen it over and over.

Who was armpit girl? 

I enjoyed à

Sean and Arie the best!lol

Quote

He was probably laughing inside at how they gave Peter the ol' switcheroo and showed him who's boss.

Peter, like Arie, is just waiting in the wings...

I loved short-haired Beckah in her intro package, but once she came on the show, she flipped into the hate column. She is absolutely adorable, but she is a stealth bitch. Also -- with the age thing, she's either 20 or 40. I think she's probably really young and that's what's going to bite her in the ass. 

I'm loved Arie on Emily's season, but ever since I heard he dated Courtney Robertson I just can't with him. Better him than Peter, I guess. I was never a Peter fan. 

  • Love 9
6 minutes ago, jackjill89 said:

I loved short-haired Beckah in her intro package, but once she came on the show, she flipped into the hate column. She is absolutely adorable, but she is a stealth bitch. Also -- with the age thing, she's either 20 or 40. I think she's probably really young and that's what's going to bite her in the ass. 

I'm loved Arie on Emily's season, but ever since I heard he dated Courtney Robertson I just can't with him. Better him than Peter, I guess. I was never a Peter fan. 

I think he "dated" Courtney Robertson the way many men have probably "dated" her.  I'm still ok with him. 

  • Love 5
10 minutes ago, crgirl412 said:

I think he "dated" Courtney Robertson the way many men have probably "dated" her.  I'm still ok with him. 

Arie has been involved with many women from bachelor nation, the ones that contacted him, and vice versa. Courtney and Arie were close, so I doubt it was a one night thing .Heck his last GF tweeted he's a player, this should be easy for him.

Edited by NeverLate
  • Love 2
28 minutes ago, NeverLate said:

Arie has been involved with many women from bachelor nation, the ones that contacted him, and vice versa. Courtney and Arie were close, so I doubt it was a one night thing .Heck his last GF tweeted he's a player, this should be easy for him.

I'm sure he's been with many women, period.  I think it's good for him and all women post-Emily that he had his heart broken.  As far at the Bachelor goes he understands all the angst that these women feel just being on the show but especially when it gets down to just a few women.  Similarly, beyond the Bachelor, it's helpful for very good looking men to have experienced rejection and heartbreak  so they are more thoughtful in their dealings with women.  

  • Love 6
15 minutes ago, crgirl412 said:

I'm sure he's been with many women, period.  I think it's good for him and all women post-Emily that he had his heart broken.  As far at the Bachelor goes he understands all the angst that these women feel just being on the show but especially when it gets down to just a few women.  Similarly, beyond the Bachelor, it's helpful for very good looking men to have experienced rejection and heartbreak  so they are more thoughtful in their dealings with women.  

I'm getting a Nick vibe from him, I just hope I'm wrong, Nick was or is, a famewhore.

  • Love 4
4 hours ago, NeverLate said:

I'm getting a Nick vibe from him, I just hope I'm wrong, Nick was or is, a famewhore.

I don't see that.  Arie has been out of the bachelor loop since his season finished.  I have a hunch they have tried to get him a number of times and surely invited him to BiP.   Looks to me like he has avoided the media. 

Edited by Wings
  • Love 7

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