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Season 4 Talk


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2 hours ago, DianeDobbler said:

Another thing - the writing on this show can sometime go straight to sitcom tropes/cliches/stereotypes without thinking it through. The garbage bag breaking (a big eye roll) and the "break in". The execution of the break-in was funny, but I think the implication was oh noes, Bow is a woman alone in the house who has to protect the family. When come on, if there HAD been a break-in scare while Dre was there, Dre would have been screaming, crying, and more scared than any of the kids. It's not like he would have handled things. The garbage bag was kind of like - oh, that's the man's job thing - when I would bet you Dre has never taken the garbage out in his life.

Agreed with whoever noted that Zoey, Junior, or both should have had Bow's back during the break in, not running for cover.

 

We've seen Dre deal with a break-in in the gun episode and he was not good at it. He ended up pointing a box at Pops, if I remember it right. There was yelling, panicking and cluelessness. I thought it was a bad example and also lazy writing because we've seen these people in that situation before and very little changed from the first event to the second except there was no gun.

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1 hour ago, 17wheatthins said:

I thought the last four episodes were very real, and it was gutsy to have a 30 minute sit-com tackle such an unfunny topic. As a stand alone...maybe miniseries could best describe It? Or sub-series? I thought they were beautifully shot, as I said before, direction and musical cues, etc. I loved these episodes as a character study, and when Dee and Bow finally got back on the same page, and Dee had those roses in the cabinet for Bow, I teared up with happiness. I know it wasn't a fun journey, but hopefully next season we'll be back to laughs. 

I think it was the episode before this one w the kids showing their shock & grief & those kids BROUGHT. IT!!!!! Esp Yara.

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I'm glad they reunited - as if they wouldn't - but it was handled sooo lazily. The late-night call, heaving sobs, unseen funeral, lets-stay-together hug was just ridiculously tidy. And what about Bow's poor mom? Surely she could have used some consoling? Good for them for acknowledging that they're still in therapy - costume changes! - but Bow is now grieving for her father after what seemed like an out-of-the-blue death, although she sure looked happy.

But Dre ain't changing. His choice of the dream home just showed how selfish and impractical he remains. Getting Jr's hopes up that he'll play catch but rejects him - again - because his time with his kids is up? Bow has her issues, but really, she deserves better. And what was going on in the ending montage with Devante and the sneakers? Was Dre getting rid of some of them?

I thought Bow getting Dre the watch was really tone-deaf. Does this guy really need another expensive toy? And I get her being grateful for the flowers, but again, does that make Dre the dream husband - because he finally put a modicum of thought into what she might like?

Finally, the sexist can't-live-without-him/her scenes were beneath this show. Broken trash bag and leaky sink for the hapless wife, bad cooking for the goofy husband. These are ostensibly two grown-up professionals. No wonder Diane's so screwed up.  

After all this complaining, I still like this show. The kids and Ruby and Pops were great. Maybe they just need to write out Dre and Bow?

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14 hours ago, snoopypez said:

As predictable as the reunion's reason may have been, Tracee Ellis Ross's acting when she called Dre was painful in how devastated she was. It made me tear up almost instantly.

I agree.  My husband who was sitting next to me thought she said "the dog is dead!" and he thought she was overacting a bit.  I told him, NO, her DAD is dead!

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I think Tracee Ellis Ross's acting is always on point - can say that for the whole cast most of the way, but the show erred in the marriage arc because it meant we had to take Dre seriously, instead of as a leading man in a comedy.  If you start taking him seriously, he's a complete asshole. The older he gets, the more unappealing it is. He's a smart man, he has strong takes on the stuff that matters to him when it's not ABOUT him, specifically, but when it's about him, he's horrifying. Even last season when it looked as if Bow could be in trouble with DeVante's induced labor, it was "I can't do this by myself!" His perspective is always so selfish, and I'm noticing, without him really seeing it as bad. They protect his selfishness, or redirect it somehow. He's more shallow than Zoey. Zoey presents as shallow but Blackish has taken care to show that she's "there" for her siblings and has her own independent relationship with them that isn't always dismissive, not even with junior. She has more heart and sensitivity than her father. Sure, her being shallow is highlighted at times for comedy, but where she lives, she's better than that. Don't think Dre is better than that - think when it's not about him he holds onto it and resents it. OTOH, when he's a comedy lead and not a dramatic lead, I have more sympathy to him. "My white girl game is in shambles" coupled with the curtsy remains one of the funniest things ever on this show. Also, the watch. It kind of came off to me that Bow got him a new watch because Junior got his other watch and IMO that took away from the gift. It just revisited his unwillingness to give Junior something as good as the watch Junior received, so Bow had to "make up" for it by giving him something even better. Poor Dre had to sacrifice by giving his son a gift he thought was too good for him.

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18 hours ago, snoopypez said:

As predictable as the reunion's reason may have been, Tracee Ellis Ross's acting when she called Dre was painful in how devastated she was. It made me tear up almost instantly.

Oh lord yes. That was such a beautifully realistic depiction of raw grief, and I choked on the food I was eating when she just wailed that her dad was gone. I lost my dad two years ago and it’s still really painful, so I immediately sobbed right along with her.

And while I’m not sure this reconciliation is entirely earned (considering it was the last 10 minutes of a 4 episode arc), I can say that being in this situation really does make you reevaluate what is important and what matters to you in the larger scheme. 

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10 hours ago, mtlchick said:

I lost my dad just over a year ago and I will say that shot alone was a like a punch to the gut.  

I’m so sorry, @mtlchick. My dad was just over two years ago and I had that same reaction to Bow’s face and voice during that moment. Hang in there - it truly does get easier but it’s often a slow ride to get there...

(edited)
5 hours ago, mookster said:

But Dre ain't changing. His choice of the dream home just showed how selfish and impractical he remains.

Maybe I'm overly sensitive being fairly close to Dre's socio-economic demographic (less about $400K a year, lol), but damn, does that Brother get hammered here.  Maybe he's a bit, ah, persnickety and slightly immature, but so are the fathers on Man with a Plan and Kevin Can Wait to one degree or another.  Historically, most sit-com dads have always been kind of buffoonish, haven't they?  I focus on Dre as a modern day success story - provider, responsible dad, solid wage earner - qualities not always ascribed to men of color, especially Black men.  Plus, he made it out of the Hood.  Not all of us do.  Quite a few of my childhood friends from Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn (every bit as rough as Compton, etc.) didn't, despite us all being in "Gifted and Talented" classes.  Some got strung-out and overdosed, others wound up in the state or federal pen.  Maybe around half of us wound up being college grads and urban professionals. So despite his quirks, I respect Dre as a Black male character that stands by his beliefs, right or wrong, and at the end of the day handles his business.  Wish there were a lot more like Dre in real life.

Edited by Winston Wolfe
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Ok, just watched "Sugar Daddy" where Dre tries to cure his diabetes himself, and Bow says, "Have you thought about your kids? Or your family? Or are you just thinking about yourself!"  Shoots Dre: "That's not fair! I'm always just thinking about myself!"

That's funny. I just think the full spectrum of Dre's personality, including the immaturity and self-centeredness, plays with better balance when the show is a comedy than it did in this "very special bunch of episodes" arc. I can take a lot of him better when I view it as heightened reality for comedic effect. 

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19 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Yeah, it was weird to me that Ruby stayed. I know she and Pops aren't together but they're Dre's parents, and IMO if they'd split for good, Dre should have had full custody of (and financial responsibility for) them. There was room for both of them at that giant-ass inappropriate-for-kids house Dre rented (and if there weren't room, that should have been Dre's problem to figure out). 

After they had that episode with Dre's Godbrother getting out of jail to live with them and then we never saw him, I have given up hope on anything resembling a realistic living situation.

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Guest

I didn't mind this arc but I hated how neat and tidy they tied it up at the end.  Sure, they showed them in therapy a couple times but every single scene was full of "Baby" this and other saccharine words, looks and gestures, like they were suddenly newlyweds again.  Barf. 

To me, the implication was Bow realized her (very real) gripes were meaningless when faced with the thought of getting through a night of grief without her giant man-baby to comfort her.  Because she's so fragile and needy, like that trash bag.  

On 5/17/2018 at 8:02 AM, TGinKY said:

This is not the exact same thing, but I hated the Grey's Anatomy episode that was turned into a musical.  Same premise though - actors who can sing who want to be Broadway stars show casing their vocal abilities.  I hated it!! UGH

ETA: In2You beat me to it. High five for the mutual hatred of egotistical actors who ruin good episodes.

At least when Blackish did their music thing it wasn't a full blown episode, was well executed, and made sense.  I'm so tired of every drama doing a cheesy musical episode now.

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On 5/16/2018 at 7:03 AM, Winston Wolfe said:

Yeah, everything about "Dark Diane" pretty much screams young pyromaniac.

It does appear that between the two of them, Bow and Dre must earn somewhere in the high six-figures given the way they spend money,

It is very realistic that together they'd earn somewhere in the neighborhood of $600-$900k. It is NOT very realistic that they'd be earning $4-6 MILLION, which is what the lifestyle they've been leading in the last few episodes would require, especially not when Bow had quit her six-figure job and they've been without that most of the year. 

To have this all happen off screen, without characters we know and have grown to love is ... ridiculous and cheap (don't want to pay Beau or Daveed, obviously). It's also beyond ridiculous that such a thing would ACTUALLY repair a marriage so broken they officially separated, and have been for some time according to the timeline. Does tragedy bring estranged spouses and other family members back together? Sure. But usually only in the very temporary way, because the problems you had—unless they were as fake and stilted as this storyline—still exist and usually become AMPLIFIED by crisis, not muted. 

Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. These actors, and these characters we've grown to love over many years, deserve SOOO much better.

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On 5/17/2018 at 5:42 PM, Winston Wolfe said:

Maybe he's a bit, ah, persnickety and slightly immature, but so are the fathers on Man with a Plan and Kevin Can Wait to one degree or another.  Historically, most sit-com dads have always been kind of buffoonish, haven't they?

Try Brooklyn 99.  Terry is an awesome dad, and while Boyle is a dweeb, he's a nice, kind and loving dweeb who loves his son.  Jake's not a dad (yet), but when he is, he's going to be a great one. I don't watch either of the shows you mention just because they're trash (to me).

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7 hours ago, jhlipton said:

Try Brooklyn 99.  Terry is an awesome dad, and while Boyle is a dweeb, he's a nice, kind and loving dweeb who loves his son.  Jake's not a dad (yet), but when he is, he's going to be a great one. I don't watch either of the shows you mention just because they're trash (to me).

Great examples. Yeah, Dre comes off as too much of an uptight person, though I know that's due to Pops and Ruby. However, when he gets called into something deals with any discipline with his kids from a school or something. Suddenly it's: "I have to be the fun dad." Which is insulting because we know he has never been that and he complains about everything and some days I wish his shoes would catch on fire. To be fair, I think the only TV dad in the last few years that was written fairly and was a good dad was Bradley Witford on Trophy Wife a few years ago. He was written as competent, new when to be authority, sweet and fun, but still be a parent. These days its: "I have to be an idiot, or I have to be a baby or the 'fun' dad." Over half of these writers are parents, and they constantly say: "I just write them as the opposite of me." Why can't you use your experiences to write them as a parent and still be funny about it?

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(edited)
On 5/15/2018 at 9:39 PM, TiffanyNichelle said:

I felt like there was no point to these four episodes because even though they brought up valid issues for both Dre and Bow, by the end none of them mattered because I don't think they dealt with any of them.

I didn't like the dramatic arc, but I did feel like they did a good job showing that Bow & Dre were trying to work through their various issues with the therapist in this episode. They even showed the multiple therapy scenes to convey progression and work over time. 

I gotta say, I disagree with people saying that tragedy only brings people back together temporarily. My husband and I separated in March 2001 and got back together two weeks after 9/11 we realized how quickly it could all be over. In the end, we wanted to be with each other - and we're now going on 21 years of marriage, so for me, it was a realistic portrayal. When you have two people who really love each other, I don't think it's a stretch for a tragedy to knock some sense back into the situation. 

Edited by Lunula
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(edited)

I finally got to watch this episode and it's my favorite of the 4-ep arc. At least it ended on a positive note and then the coda with Ruby and Pops in the dream house was funny. I got enough Charlie in this one, and enjoyed the kids first being so uncomfortable in the "East German art museum" (as Pops termed it) and then settling in. Seemed more life real life than the previous three eps, especially the part where Dre dropped off the kids and Bow just couldn't handle three minutes of him. Plus, Ruby singing about Bow needing a pedicure! It was much more like the show I've so enjoyed. 

Edited by RedHawk
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I have been so unenthused about this storyline that it look me TEN DAYS after it aired to get around to watching it. Admittedly I have been a little busy lately, but this was so far down on my list of priorities. When I'd rather watch something as cheery as The Handmaid's Tale instead of a comedy taking on marital problems, that should tell you something.

I just rolled my eyes when Dre revealed his expensive dream house. Never mind that Bow might want to rent her own dream house and, I don't know, not live with her in-laws anymore.

On 5/17/2018 at 9:21 AM, Gothish520 said:

Also loved the dress Bow was wearing when she fixed the sink.

I did too, but that's why I was yelling, "Girl, go upstairs, take off that dress, and put on some sweats to crawl under the sink!" No need to ruin a perfectly cute dress because you need to deal with the drain!

On 5/24/2018 at 2:07 PM, Lunula said:

I gotta say, I disagree with people saying that tragedy only brings people back together temporarily. My husband and I separated in March 2001 and got back together two weeks after 9/11 we realized how quickly it could all be over. In the end, we wanted to be with each other - and we're now going on 21 years of marriage, so for me, it was a realistic portrayal. When you have two people who really love each other, I don't think it's a stretch for a tragedy to knock some sense back into the situation. 

The 9/11 story I always think about is Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. They dated for two years and then broke up in April 2001. When 9/11 happened, they realized that they wanted to be together because life's too short, etc. so they reconciled and got engaged a few months later. They later filed for divorce after three years of marriage so it didn't work out in the end, but the big event made them realize that they weren't ready to give up on each other. Tragedy has a very polarizing effect on relationships. They can bring people closer together or they can push them apart (the statistics for divorce among parents who have a child with a serious illness is higher than the average divorce rate). When my friend's dad died, it ended up being the catalyst for breaking up with his girlfriend of three years. I think tragedy is often a wake up call for people. It makes people realize that they should treasure the ones they love (but it can also make people realize that they are not with the right person!). I think it just depends on the relationship and the people involved. If you love each other, it can make you see that the stuff you were fighting about was peanuts compared to not having each other anymore.

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20 minutes ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:


 

The 9/11 story I always think about is Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. They dated for two years and then broke up in April 2001. When 9/11 happened, they realized that they wanted to be together because life's too short, etc. so they reconciled and got engaged a few months later. They later filed for divorce after three years of marriage so it didn't work out in the end, but the big event made them realize that they weren't ready to give up on each other. Tragedy has a very polarizing effect on relationships. They can bring people closer together or they can push them apart (the statistics for divorce among parents who have a child with a serious illness is higher than the average divorce rate). When my friend's dad died, it ended up being the catalyst for breaking up with his girlfriend of three years. I think tragedy is often a wake up call for people. It makes people realize that they should treasure the ones they love (but it can also make people realize that they are not with the right person!). I think it just depends on the relationship and the people involved. If you love each other, it can make you see that the stuff you were fighting about was peanuts compared to not having each other anymore.

 

Similar thing happened to my in-laws, they had years of build up from my wife's epilepsy. To the point to separated them while she was in the middle of high school. However, a relative passed away and both my wife and her sister graduated high school and college and my brother-in-law had just got engaged. My in-laws decided they had been through too much to get divorced now and wanted to see the next chapter of their children's lives together. They are about to celebrate 53 years in July. 

Quote

I just rolled my eyes when Dre revealed his expensive dream house. Never mind that Bow might want to rent her own dream house and, I don't know, not live with her in-laws anymore.

That made even less sense than Dre magically getting the money for his glass house with infinity fire place. Just as Pops spilling and ruining the couch. Dre knew his father would spill something and he of course denies it and then does it 2 minutes later. I love Pops and Lawerance Fishburne, but there is a difference between being stubborn and stupid stubborn. Plus, I'm surprise that Bow didn't tell Ruby: "Go back and live in your unknown duplex your two kids have been fighting over." 

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56 minutes ago, readster said:

I'm surprise that Bow didn't tell Ruby: "Go back and live in your unknown duplex your two kids have been fighting over." 

Ooh, that would have been awesome! It would have been SUPER awesome if she had told Dre, "Instead of wasting money on this foolish dream home of yours, why don't you save the money that could be spent on some college tuition and baby expenses by staying at that condo with your mom - you know, the one that you and Rhonda were at war over?"

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3 hours ago, readster said:

I'm surprise that Bow didn't tell Ruby: "Go back and live in your unknown duplex your two kids have been fighting over." 

2 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Ooh, that would have been awesome! It would have been SUPER awesome if she had told Dre, "Instead of wasting money on this foolish dream home of yours, why don't you save the money that could be spent on some college tuition and baby expenses by staying at that condo with your mom - you know, the one that you and Rhonda were at war over?"

Continuity... that's a thing now?

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On 6/2/2018 at 9:52 PM, DianeDobbler said:

I've binged watch the 4 seasons after subscribing to Hulu just for Blackish, but I haven't seen every episode. Has Blackish ever been shown to have or alluded to the family having a housekeeper? For all the extravagance it would be absolutely bizarre if the show pretended Bow was taking care of the housework on her own.

I just started a Hulu watch and yes, they mentioned a housekeeper named Rosario in the episode when we first meet Ruby.

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I'm binging the show on Hulu and just finished this episode. I loved it and found it very informative. I completely agree that Columbus Day should go away now that we all know the truth, and I think, as @rollacoaster mentioned, that January 1, 1863 (Emacipation Proclamation) or Dec 6, 1865 (13th Amendment ratified abolishing slavery) should be made a national holiday. Juneteenth seems like more of regional day of celebration, but hell, I'd support that becoming a national holiday as well. And not because I'm looking for a day off, paid or not - I work in retail and we rarely get a day off, lol, even Thanksgiving isn't safe anymore.

People who would have any problems with any of that perplex me.

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This has to be one of my top ten episodes. Absolutely hilarious,

And I agree with those that said they now need to play Monopoly - it's been at least 20 years since I last played. I was always the horse and rider; it was the tallest piece and was easy to hold and move around the board. As for family competitiveness, I have a pretty clear memory of my brother flipping the board and then hitting my sister with it, so...yeah.

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I loved this episode so much! Season four and the show is as strong as ever. 

I could completely relate to the subject matter, and the sweet family moments were just great. I've had to strip the bed in the middle of the night,  so I really felt for Diane. All the ladies sharing their horror stories, fantastic. Diane hugging Jack, omg loved it. Jack and Zoe looking out for Diane, Pops and Jack talking about growing up, all the Junior and Dre stuff, everything worked. Another ep that will make my top ten.

I can never understand when people are appalled at the idea of a woman quitting her job or putting her career on hold to stay at home. Applies to men as well - I completely agree with Dre's work crew - if I could quit my job, I would in a heartbeat! We Americans are so obsessed with identifying ourselves and others by what they do for a living. There is more to life than work - in my opinion family is much more important. Obviously, supporting yourself and your family is paramount, but if a family can make a go of it on one salary, why the heck not? Things can be adjusted in the future if necessary. 

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8 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

I can never understand when people are appalled at the idea of a woman quitting her job or putting her career on hold to stay at home. Applies to men as well - I completely agree with Dre's work crew - if I could quit my job, I would in a heartbeat! We Americans are so obsessed with identifying ourselves and others by what they do for a living. There is more to life than work - in my opinion family is much more important. Obviously, supporting yourself and your family is paramount, but if a family can make a go of it on one salary, why the heck not? Things can be adjusted in the future if necessary. 

I agree and if that would have been the case, it would have worked out for the story, but it didn't. Bow was told she should quit to take care of their younger son, who was premature and apparently Dre just not liking the nanny. Bow even pointed out that Dre spent all the extra money they made and his job was very toxic. The only thing that pushed Bow into finally quitting was because she was tired of taking shit from her co-workers and the hospital. Who acted like she didn't work her ass off to get where she was. Both job and mamma shaming her. The story fell apart because then we RARELY saw Bow with Baby D. She also wasn't telling Dre she was having problems with being at home and Baby D's slow progress on things. Then she turned it into: "I get Me time all the time. Being at home, life is great this way!" Umm... you still have 3 other kids and only one is going to be gone soon and the Twins need a lot of work still. 

  Bow didn't decide to be home to focus on family, it turned into: "I can make my husband shut up, get away from those assholes I work for and get spa time." "Wait, I have kids? I forgot how to grocery shop for some reason." 

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2 hours ago, readster said:

I agree and if that would have been the case, it would have worked out for the story, but it didn't. Bow was told she should quit to take care of their younger son, who was premature and apparently Dre just not liking the nanny. Bow even pointed out that Dre spent all the extra money they made and his job was very toxic. The only thing that pushed Bow into finally quitting was because she was tired of taking shit from her co-workers and the hospital. Who acted like she didn't work her ass off to get where she was. Both job and mamma shaming her. The story fell apart because then we RARELY saw Bow with Baby D. She also wasn't telling Dre she was having problems with being at home and Baby D's slow progress on things. Then she turned it into: "I get Me time all the time. Being at home, life is great this way!" Umm... you still have 3 other kids and only one is going to be gone soon and the Twins need a lot of work still. 

  Bow didn't decide to be home to focus on family, it turned into: "I can make my husband shut up, get away from those assholes I work for and get spa time." "Wait, I have kids? I forgot how to grocery shop for some reason." 

I haven't seen the rest of the season except for the last four-episode arc, so I will have to see how things play out. But even if Bow doesn't adjust well or things are inevitably exaggerated because it's a sitcom, I still don't see anything inherently wrong with Bow quitting her job. I think not being respected or appreciated and being treated like crap is a great reason to quit, as long as one can afford it financially. 

My initial response is because it seems whenever a character on a tv show decides to stop working, there are inevitably people who are appalled at the idea and look down on the person, like they are leeches or losers just living a life of luxury. Like the way Bow judged the other school mothers, assuming that they just spent their days lunching and tanning and drinking. My feeling is, if they did, so what? The criticism just smacks of jealousy. 

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After a few more or less meh episodes,  this one hit the spot. I can somewhat relate to how Bow felt dealing with an over-the-top online community - when I was getting married in 2012 I joined what is probably the top wedding website, only to end up deleting my profile because the forum was so awful. Nothing as egregious as anti-vaxxers, but aggravating and not worth the hassle none-the-less.

The work stuff with Dre was great, as it usually is, despite Charlie's absence. Love me some Charles, but have to give it up for Josh as well - he's well-meaning and sweet, and low-key funny as hell. Also nice to see Lucy again.

Automatic, ha! I love the music used on this show, so many good throwbacks.

Loved the kids digging into that puzzle together at the end.

Add me to the chorus of people who side with Dre in this situation. I'm just not that fond of dogs and really don't like it when people bring their dogs to work or let them jump all over you. To me it is really rude and ignorant.

We did not see the situation from Dre's point of view regarding the dog coming at Zoe, but if I had a small child and I saw a dog barking and running right at her, I can't say that I wouldn't have reacted the same way. Sometimes a reaction like that is instinctual, you don't even have time to think about it.

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Bow didn't quit because she didn't want to work, though. She didn't have some dead end shit job she hated. She was a doctor, it was a meaningful career to her, she worked hard to get there and she was invested in it. I'm appalled that she was essentially pressured and driven out, and that Dre didn't support her in solving their family issues and her career problem together. She was very employable, even if her current workplace was shitty to her. And she loves being a doctor.

If she had wanted to stay home, that would be fine. But she didn't want to. I didn't see anyone shaming her for it. The other moms embraced her. Dre WANTED her to do it.

I don't think I've seen any real attempt to shame a TV mother for wanting to stay home. For instance, and airing on the same network, American Housewife is all about a stay at home mom and there's never any suggestion whatsoever that she should be working outside the home, nor that she actually regrets giving up her previous career, where she was very successful.

In real life, OK, I've heard that. But I think there are a lot of stay at home moms on TV, and a lot of women TV characters who struggle with work and wish they could quit but can't for financial reasons. 

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On 5/17/2018 at 1:23 PM, 17wheatthins said:

I thought the last four episodes were very real, and it was gutsy to have a 30 minute sit-com tackle such an unfunny topic. As a stand alone...maybe miniseries could best describe It? Or sub-series? I thought they were beautifully shot, as I said before, direction and musical cues, etc. I loved these episodes as a character study, and when Dre and Bow finally got back on the same page, and Dre had those roses in the cabinet for Bow, I teared up with happiness. I know it wasn't a fun journey, but hopefully next season we'll be back to laughs. 

I completely agree, I thought these episodes were extremely well-done. 

Back when they first aired, I watched them On Demand as I thought the previews looked interesting. Prior to that I had only seen the episode Good-ish Times. This story arc drew me in and as a result, I just watched the entire series on Hulu. Love it, love the entire cast, love every character to one degree or another, lol.

Of course, now that I know and love these characters, these episodes are even more powerful. I'm glad Dre and Bow found their way back to each other and I look forward to the new season.

9 hours ago, possibilities said:

Bow didn't quit because she didn't want to work, though. She didn't have some dead end shit job she hated. She was a doctor, it was a meaningful career to her, she worked hard to get there and she was invested in it. I'm appalled that she was essentially pressured and driven out, and that Dre didn't support her in solving their family issues and her career problem together. She was very employable, even if her current workplace was shitty to her. And she loves being a doctor.

If she had wanted to stay home, that would be fine. But she didn't want to. I didn't see anyone shaming her for it. The other moms embraced her. Dre WANTED her to do it.

I don't think I've seen any real attempt to shame a TV mother for wanting to stay home. For instance, and airing on the same network, American Housewife is all about a stay at home mom and there's never any suggestion whatsoever that she should be working outside the home, nor that she actually regrets giving up her previous career, where she was very successful.

In real life, OK, I've heard that. But I think there are a lot of stay at home moms on TV, and a lot of women TV characters who struggle with work and wish they could quit but can't for financial reasons. 

Right, Bow was forced into doing it. No one shamed her when she stayed at home. It was more of where she worked that finally convinced her to leave the hospital because she was tired of their crap. She loved what she did, worked hard and people she worked with acted like she want a contest and was made a doctor. It happens, it's all about ego. However, when she realized while being separated from Dre, she knew she had to make money because there were bills to pay. She went back to work part time and Dre got pissed off because she didn't tell him and that she decided to go BACK to work. That was another reason why I felt the story line was horrible, Bow even said that if things were different, she be thrilled to be home, especially with the twins and Baby D for a while. However, it was financial or convenient at the time. Dre wanted Bow to do it because he felt he finally made enough money and they had an excuse for Bow to be home. That's what messed up the story.

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4 hours ago, readster said:

Right, Bow was forced into doing it. No one shamed her when she stayed at home. It was more of where she worked that finally convinced her to leave the hospital because she was tired of their crap. She loved what she did, worked hard and people she worked with acted like she want a contest and was made a doctor. It happens, it's all about ego. However, when she realized while being separated from Dre, she knew she had to make money because there were bills to pay. She went back to work part time and Dre got pissed off because she didn't tell him and that she decided to go BACK to work. That was another reason why I felt the story line was horrible, Bow even said that if things were different, she be thrilled to be home, especially with the twins and Baby D for a while. However, it was financial or convenient at the time. Dre wanted Bow to do it because he felt he finally made enough money and they had an excuse for Bow to be home. That's what messed up the story.

I still don't think it was wrong or bad for her to decide to stay home, and I have to disagree that she was forced. If she really absolutely did not want to stay home, she wouldn't have done so. She decided to give it a try after realizing how much she was not appreciated at the hospital. 

Interesting that in the final episode arc, when the therapist told them to make a date night, Bow said she had a lot on her plate but that she could "make Thursday work." She must have found some way to fill up her days, and it seemed that she was fine with staying home, until she felt she may need to earn some money and keep busy during the separation. And with regard to that (going back to work without telling Dre), I'm completely on Dre's side there. 

On 7/30/2018 at 1:12 AM, Gothish520 said:

I can never understand when people are appalled at the idea of a woman quitting her job or putting her career on hold to stay at home. Applies to men as well - I completely agree with Dre's work crew - if I could quit my job, I would in a heartbeat! We Americans are so obsessed with identifying ourselves and others by what they do for a living. There is more to life than work - in my opinion family is much more important. Obviously, supporting yourself and your family is paramount, but if a family can make a go of it on one salary, why the heck not? Things can be adjusted in the future if necessary. 

 

On 7/30/2018 at 12:44 PM, Gothish520 said:

I haven't seen the rest of the season except for the last four-episode arc, so I will have to see how things play out. But even if Bow doesn't adjust well or things are inevitably exaggerated because it's a sitcom, I still don't see anything inherently wrong with Bow quitting her job. I think not being respected or appreciated and being treated like crap is a great reason to quit, as long as one can afford it financially. 

My initial response is because it seems whenever a character on a tv show decides to stop working, there are inevitably people who are appalled at the idea and look down on the person, like they are leeches or losers just living a life of luxury. Like the way Bow judged the other school mothers, assuming that they just spent their days lunching and tanning and drinking. My feeling is, if they did, so what? The criticism just smacks of jealousy. 

Honestly, I think it has a lot to do with sexism and a little jealousy. Even though nowadays stat at home dads are not uncommon, it has traditionally been the woman who has stayed at home to look after the family and the house. The choice to stay at home has sort of becoming an upper-middle-class luxury though some people do pinch pennies and do it for the good of the family. People have this vision of a man working hard and a woman not doing anything but lounging around all day (think Married with Children), when in reality it is a tough job. Women really have the worst of it because if you are damned if you do and damned if you don't, particularly if you went through many years of education and training. I do think that you are right in that Americans, particularly the upper middle class, have defined themselves by the prestige of their jobs and stay at home parent does not jive with some preconceived notions of value.

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(edited)

The fears rang true to me. I have a child born 6 weeks early due to preeclampsia for whom it became a running joke-every appointment, the developmental pediatrician would make some comment about “if she’s not doing X by the next appointment, we’ll refer for PT”. DD would do it-less than a week before the next appointment. Basically, she missed all her motor milestones by about 4 weeks, quite predictably, so the ped wasn’t worried because she WAS so predictable. But I well recall that feeling of almost panic that comes with a preemie, especially after a complicated pregnancy. Add that the regular baby books don’t account for the fact that preemies are on a different developmental curve, and, well, I’m just glad my insurance covered a developmental pediatrician. 

And my husband was far more of the “let’s get it checked out”-while I was the one reminding him that the developmental pediatrician WAS checking it out and was fully qualified to DX developmental delays if there were any. 

Edited by dmmetler
 
 
 
On 4/5/2018 at 11:23 AM, Sheenieb said:

Very. That was such a reach. The argument would've been better if Stanford were Junior's dream school. But this nonsense about not being able to acclimate to white society was on some bullshit. Just because one attends an HBCU doesn't mean that the world no longer exists when you graduate. You just learn how to code switch. Shit, even when you attend a PWI, you still have to code switch. 

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