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All Episodes Talk: Small World, Big Lives


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Culture Check: How can the tropes and stereotypes we apply to TV personalities impact our fellow posters, and how do we remain mindful of these effects while discussing them? Please review for more on stereotypes and tropes.

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Culture Check: How can we express our opinions and consider the effect our assumptions may have on the people around us? What impact might speculation have on others, especially when we speculate about children or complex issues like neurodiversity?

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On 6/17/2017 at 8:44 PM, ZoloftBlob said:

Jacob is cavorting about America with yup, no job) but there's a point where even I, a woman who works, have to defend a mother.

Somehow I think Jacob is making the money work. Whether it is leftover from filming days or his girlfriend is providing or he saved up some money when he was working. he doesn't have a wife to support or a family and as far as we know he is not collecting welfare so what's the problem. If he is using savings to see the country, great. If his GF is paying that's between them. He is young and is getting a great experience. I really enjoy his twitter and IG, he is young and full of naive ideas but at least he thinks.

I guess I am a bit defensive about this because that's what I did in my 20's and everyone had something to say. I worked and then traveled like a hobo on trains and buses and living in a tent. Best years of my life. I never once asked one single person for a dime, when I needed money I worked. While all my friends were having babies and getting married I saw the country and met some people that changed my life. Everyone's life path is different and just because he isn't doing what is the norm doesn't mean it's wrong.

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(edited)

I don't keep up with Jacob, since he moved away.  I occasionally see things about his comments about the show or his parents.  Not sure if that's just tabloid, but, I ignore it.  I read a lot about how things were when he left.   If that's true, I hope that he has made amends, and some of the photos, seem to support that.  I sometimes think that people who grew up in reality tv, have a difficult time ever really letting it go.  I wish him luck and that he finds his niche. 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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(edited)

The reason that Amy got the house was because Matt wanted the divorce done quickly, so he would have agreed to almost anything.  You can only keep a mistress hidden for so long.

 

When the show first aired I criticized Amy for the dirty house, I now cut her some slack, because I see that she was too busy actually running the house, to properly keep up with it.  I think the last thing I would call Amy is lazy, she's like a little energizer bunny...always doing something.  She was definitely not sitting on the couch watching soaps and eating bonbons with her feet up, while Matt did all the work.  

Edited by Honey
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Their home was always a pigsty but I do agree Amy was not a lazy ass.  She was always on the go..what I couldn't understand though is why she didn't make those kids pick up after themselves? Jeremy, Zach, Molly and Jacob were all old enough to do their own laundry, load and unload a dishwasher and run a vacuum around that house.

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9 hours ago, Caracoa1 said:

Their home was always a pigsty but I do agree Amy was not a lazy ass.  She was always on the go..what I couldn't understand though is why she didn't make those kids pick up after themselves? Jeremy, Zach, Molly and Jacob were all old enough to do their own laundry, load and unload a dishwasher and run a vacuum around that house.

It takes a lot of determination (and it is worth it) to get those kids to pick up after themselves without support from their Dad.  

Amy's house...didn't it look cleaner after Matt left?

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I remember earlier seasons when Jer and Zack didn't even have fitted sheets on their beds.  They just laid on a bare mattress.  It is both a mother and a father's responsibility to instill good cleaning habits in their children.  We can't put the blame on just Matt or just Amy.  I admit that Amy's house is cleaner now, but her kitchen is always cluttered.  Matt's DW is pretty clean too.  I think not having the kids living at home helps with keeping things neat.

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2 hours ago, Jellybeans said:

It takes a lot of determination (and it is worth it) to get those kids to pick up after themselves without support from their Dad.  

Amy's house...didn't it look cleaner after Matt left?

I always felt that allowing the house to be a mess was a passive/aggressive tactic on Amy's part.  I remember one episode where Matt asked if things could be kept tidier so he could get around on his crutches in the house.  Suddenly, now that he's gone, the house is tidy.  Because now Amy wants it that way for herself.  She doesn't need to stick it to Matt by putting up obstacles now.  

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And to a point, I got why Amy was annoyed by Matt's complaining about the mess. He'd whine and moan, complete with how difficult it was for him... And then when she was cleaning, he'd make snide remarks about how her work was meaningless and unimportant. Sorry, Matt snotted one too many times how her working around the house was a waste of time to accept he didn't have a hand in how uncomfortable he was.

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2 hours ago, Jellybeans said:

It takes a lot of determination (and it is worth it) to get those kids to pick up after themselves without support from their Dad.  

Amy's house...didn't it look cleaner after Matt left?

well Matt did leave after everyone but Jacob was gone, but I do wonder why she never made them help out, it's something that has to be started at a young age and it takes discipline but it can be done, I know ;)

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13 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

It seems like now, I think besides the kids being out & less mess, they probably can both afford housekeeping services.

Matt suggested a housecleaning service for Amy, and she absolutely refused to allow anyone else to touch her stuff.

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14 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

It seems like now, I think besides the kids being out & less mess, they probably can both afford housekeeping services.

Maybe, so, but, Amy never seemed interested in outside help with cleaning or organizing.  It seemed that she used the mess as a weapon against Matt to me.  IMO, you don't serve your children well by not requiring them to keep their room clean, pick up, etc.  But, apparently, the kids as we see them, are faring okay in the house cleaning dept.  It seems that Tori or Auj would not allow a dirty place, even if the husbands weren't so inclined.  But, of course, the cameras are running. 

Whatever the dynamics of household chores/clearing/organizing may have existed then, I don't see how that matters anymore. I try not to hold past issues against either party.  Holding on to things like stuff can make you anxious and give you health problems, imo.  lol  

I"m not convinced that the couple rushed for a divorce.  I mean, them separating was a theme of the show for multiple seasons.  It looked imminent to me for a long time.  Also, it's not unusual for the wife/mother to get the marital home, especially with a custom made kitchen for her height.  

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I think there's letting an argument go, and there's denying what actually happened. Matt and Amy repeatedly argued about the mess. We're always made to accept that basic fact - Matt was UNHAPPY with the mess. So I think it's an absolutely fair point when Matt is being held up as Amy's victim, that when she was cleaning, Matt repeatedly called what she was doing useless and worthless and a waste of time. Did he want a clean house? Or did he want a bitch point?

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Just now, ZoloftBlob said:

I think there's letting an argument go, and there's denying what actually happened. Matt and Amy repeatedly argued about the mess. We're always made to accept that basic fact - Matt was UNHAPPY with the mess. So I think it's an absolutely fair point when Matt is being held up as Amy's victim, that when she was cleaning, Matt repeatedly called what she was doing useless and worthless and a waste of time. Did he want a clean house? Or did he want a bitch point?

Oh, I know, I know - bitch point! 

If cleaning was so important to Matt, maybe he could have dreamed it clean.

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Or, if it was that important to him, he could have been a *fighter* and shown some *resilence*, god knows Matt has crowed long and hard about how when he wants to do x, y and z, he just shows his resilience and fights!

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2 hours ago, Phoebe70 said:

I remember earlier seasons when Jer and Zack didn't even have fitted sheets on their beds. 

Just as a point of information, the lack of a fitted sheet may have been Amy putting her foot down about the kids doing chores. The day after my brother's high school graduation, Mom stripped his bed and washed the sheets. She left them on his bed for him to make the bed. He slept on the bare mattress for the entire summer because he refused to make the bed. After he left for school, she made the bed. When he got home for break, he crowed about how he had "made" her make the bed. Boys can be ridiculously stubborn.

 

I also get the sense that Matt was the "fun" parent, or he wanted to be. I think he did not back up Amy when she would ask the kids to do chores because to him they were "unfun" or unimportant. It's really hard to be firm with kids and get them to do chores if they are getting mixed messages.

 

If I recall correctly, part of what Amy didn't like about home cleaners or others to pick up for her was that Matt put no importance on her things. For some reason, I think there was at least one episode that showed Matt tossing stuff as "junk" that was actually Amy's or that she needed. I know it drives me crazy when my mom comes to "help" and rearranges where my plates and glasses are or which spots my silverware goes because it makes more sense to her. I've also had to go digging through the trash looking for things Mom tossed that I actually was in the middle of working on. Since he was so checked out of the day to day home details, he had no clue what was important. There is considerably less alcohol in view these days with him gone.

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(edited)

At the very begining of the series, Matt hired an organizer for Amy. It was for Mother's Day, perhaps? I can only remember that, I don't recall what kind of organizing actually happened.

Edited by ginger90
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(edited)
7 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

At the very begining of the series, Matt hired an organizer for Amy. It was for Mother's Day, perhaps? I can only remember that, I don't recall what kind of organizing actually happened.

Pretty much NO organizing happened.  She pitched a fit.  I can understand her being upset if he didn't talk to her about it beforehand, but IMO, most people would have been grateful to have someone else do what they don't have time to do.  Set up some parameters, and let it go.  It's just stuff.  At least she'd have been able to find stuff.  It is NOT usually true that messy people still know where everything is.

Edited by AZChristian
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And that's actually a great example of Matt using a gift to be a passive aggressive ass. He knows she has some issues, heck some anger, with his organization attempts. So does he let it go? Or does he stage a scene where he's the hero! Giving her a gift! Staging an entire episode over how he's the hero for giving her something she didn't want and resents and look! She doesn't like it and POOR POOR MATT who knew it was a button for her and pressed it publically with glee is now the POOR POOR VICTIM. Hey, Matt hated attending school functions, so I bet he would have loved it if Amy had intentionally cleared his schedule behind his back and hired a driver to escort Matt to a special seat she had arranged at one of the soccer games so he could enjoy doing something he openly stated bored him? Would that be Amy being nice? Would Matt need to be told how ungrateful he was for not enjoying a gift he didn't want or ask for?

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10 minutes ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Hey, Matt hated attending school functions, so I bet he would have loved it if Amy had intentionally cleared his schedule behind his back and hired a driver to escort Matt to a special seat she had arranged at one of the soccer games so he could enjoy doing something he openly stated bored him? Would that be Amy being nice? Would Matt need to be told how ungrateful he was for not enjoying a gift he didn't want or ask for?

That is exactly the kind of gift he deserved especially since he did the set up to Amy for filming. 

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I kinda felt this way on the episode where Matt arranged for Amy to run a pretend b&b, hang at a comedy club, and fly a hang glider, all without actually asking her if this was something she wanted to do on camera. Or buying the Mercedes for her when she expressed no interest in a new car. The answer is always " Amy needs to express how grateful she is for gifts that completely ignore what she wants! Anything from her other than 'I'm so grateful to Matt' is Amy being hateful and disrespectful! He gave her gifts! If she's not gushing and dropping to her knees to blow him in gratitiude, then POOR POOR MATT IS BEING DISRESPECTED AFTER DOING A NICE THING!" No matter if it was a passive aggressive dig or embarrassing for her, or something she didn't ask for, want or need.

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Watching last weeks episode and noticed a couple things I missed last week. Amy said Matt 'openly' admitted that he and Karyn were dating. I'm paraphrasing slightly. But the way she said it, it sounded like she's known they were dating for some time. Which I don't think is a secret that she knew, but she hasn't said a whole lot about those two.

Secondly, she mentioned Karyn being an employee AND a *friend*...I've never heard Amy refer to Karyn as a friend but Karyn called her 'Ame' in the same episode. Typically when one shortens a name like that, they are close friends or family. Like Auj, Jer, etc. Nothing major but I found it interesting. 

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7 hours ago, ZoloftBlob said:

I kinda felt this way on the episode where Matt arranged for Amy to run a pretend b&b, hang at a comedy club, and fly a hang glider, all without actually asking her if this was something she wanted to do on camera. Or buying the Mercedes for her when she expressed no interest in a new car. The answer is always " Amy needs to express how grateful she is for gifts that completely ignore what she wants! Anything from her other than 'I'm so grateful to Matt' is Amy being hateful and disrespectful! He gave her gifts! If she's not gushing and dropping to her knees to blow him in gratitiude, then POOR POOR MATT IS BEING DISRESPECTED AFTER DOING A NICE THING!" No matter if it was a passive aggressive dig or embarrassing for her, or something she didn't ask for, want or need.

Don't forget the time he remodeled the master bath as a surprise for her, without asking what she wanted in a bathroom remodel.

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Why does Matt still insist on emphasizing Zach and Jer's twin-ness? They are adults with totally separate and different  lives.

Is Tawdrey capable of any real sympathy? Her concern is that it will really suck if Tori has to take care  of Zach and Jackson? Really.

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Is Tawdrey capable of any real sympathy? Her concern is that it will really suck if Tori has to take care  of Zach and Jackson? Really.

She looked like she'd rather be anywhere else than around Jer's family.

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Odd's reaction to Amy telling her she was going to get her toesies done too, well, her reaction and dirty look to Amy could not have been more disparaging. Sad to see.  Amy should not try so hard with that red head witch.

1 hour ago, kitkat68 said:

Did Tori know she had company waiting for her when she got home? Ugh, poor thing looked like she was not happy with the surprise.

Poor Tori looked as if all she wanted to do is go lateral on the sofa watching tv.  She made it clear she was totally over this pregnancy.  Even though I am sure that is how she felt, she was classy and went along with the program without any problem or ill will.  At least Amy has a good daughter in law with Tori.

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If Zacks illness is real, I would get a second opinion. I know stress causes a lot of symptoms but this seemed extreme. Then the cynical side of me thinks they drove him around to get him car sick  so they can play up the drama of Zacks mystery illness.

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I fell asleep and missed the last few minutes.  Did Zach ever go to the hospital?  Why was everyone just standing around, wringing their hands and saying "oh wow.  this sucks. poor Zach. this could be serious."  WTF?!?!  Get him to the ER STAT!  I'm no hypochondriac, and I have a high pain tolerance, but if I had any inkling that the tube INSIDE MY BRAIN may be failing, I would ask to be taken to the hospital.  What kind of wacko quacko doctor did Zach go to?  A couple of shots and sent him on his way home?  Zach reports to his doctor that these episodes have been on going and getting worse, but the doctor threw his hands up & shrugged (before this episode) because he "didn't witness" the event?  How about drawing some labs? An MRI?

Odd is beyond weird.  Who sits in the car while her brother in law is experiencing a medical crisis?  I can understand that she may not want to be around Zach if he was throwing up.  Some people can't handle that.  But how about going into the clinic as a show of support to your doofus husband if not for Zach? Was she just pissed off that Zach getting sick ruined her chance to show off her new house?

I think TLC may want to spend some cash on getting Odd & Jerk an acting coach if they want to continue with these two posers next season.  They can't muster any emotion.  They have no affect when they speak.  There is no light in their eyes.  In any TH, they deliver their lines in the same flat manner.  There's a party coming up?  "Yah. we are so [insert situation appropriate adjective here]."  Something has gone wrong or given them cause for concern?  "Yah. we are so [insert situation appropriate adjective here]." Odd looked so detached from the (sad) spa day Amy planned.  I agree she would rather be anywhere else but in Amy's presence. 

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Do you notice Tori is never in the scene/TH when they are discussing Zack illness? It's like she wants nothing to do with the charade. Having a risky pregnancy already, she doesnt want the bad karma.

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(edited)

I wonder how much of the medical crisis was them re-enacting the drama.  Maybe, Zach had it, but, not when the cameras were there and it had to be dove over so they could air it. Just guessing.  But, I agree with BusyOctober, GET A SECOND OPINION and proper tests. Relying on a Primary Care Doctor without a full battery of tests seems risky to me.   I know people who have some psychological  conditions that cause physical symptoms, but, it needs to be properly diagnosed by completely ruling out a physical cause and then being diagnosed by a psychiatrist.  (Check out Conversion Disorder.) http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/conversion-disorder/basics/definition/con-20029533   It can cause you to temporarily lose vision, have seizures, faint, etc.  It can be treated. My family member got treatment, went on meds and has had only one other episode in several years.  If it's that kind thing, I hope Zach follows through with proper treatment. It can be very scary for the patient and their family members.  It happens randomly and without warning.

I loved the rocking chairs idea.  I thought this episode showed how Matt and Amy can work together for the benefit of the kids.  Not sure why the guys took the cushions off.  lol  

I also thought that food that Amy prepared looked great.  I wasn't surprised that Zach called his mom when he was sick.  

I do wish Jeremy and Auj would stop riding in that older car.  Whatever seat belt stuff it has doesn't appear safe.  It looks quite risky, imo.  Other than that, they seemed fine.  Neither acted odd to me.  Glad that Auj now realizes how having family nearby can be a big plus when you need help fast. 

I like the simple stories.  I don't need a fight, melt down or party to enjoy seeing family working to support family.  That's entertaining enough for me. 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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(edited)

Glad I'm not the only one who sensed she was irritated with Zach being sick in the car.  I think I heard her ask Jer if Zach had "thrown up yet", as if she was impatient that he do so already.  I think Zach mentioned that he had been to the doctor about his symptoms before this, but they hadn't been able to figure out what was going on.  So, if that's the case, I assume they had already run whatever tests they needed to do to determine his shunt was not the cause?  If not, it does seem crazy that the doctor seemed so nonchalant about it.  He must have been under a hell of a lot of stress to be that sick. 

I also thought Tori seemed less than thrilled about the pedicure ambush party, but she was gracious about it.  It was interesting that she seemed surprised when her mom was talking about how difficult her birth had been, particularly that she was delivered early due to a collapsed lung.  You'd think that would be a story she'd heard before.  So, now we know she had a C-section to deliver Jackson, yet I don't recall her ever saying a word about recovery from it.  Can you imagine that drama that will commence if Oddj ends up with one? 

Edited by Katydid
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A few observations....

1.  I know Amy meant well, but I don't think the in-home pedicure was a good idea.  Tori seemed surprised when she walked in.  Poor thing, she looked uncomfortable and exhausted.  Some people don't even like to get pedicures.  She apologized to the nail person for the condition of her feet.  She seemed embarrassed. 

2.  Did anyone else hear someone (Tori's mom?) ask Amy, "Is the chicken (in the chicken salad) cooked?"  Did I hear that wrong?  What kind of a question is that?! 

3.  That was a bizarre store that Jer & Auj were shopping in.  It seemed like it sold more knick-knack stuff as opposed to furniture. 

4.  I really hate seeing Jer, Auj and Zach in that old car with no seat belts!  Especially with someone who is pregnant.

5.  On next week's episode Amy gushes about her relationship with Chris, AGAIN.  Yawn.....

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Tori was at that part in your pregnancy that I remember. You are just done. You can't possibly mentally or physically process another thing. You leave work and when you get home you flop down and that's it. So I get why her face seemed  little hesitant. However, she was classy and gracious. More than I can say for carrot top.

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31 minutes ago, Phoebe70 said:

A few observations....

2.  Did anyone else hear someone (Tori's mom?) ask Amy, "Is the chicken (in the chicken salad) cooked?"  Did I hear that wrong?  What kind of a question is that?! 

 

OMG!  I forgot about the 'chicken salad- cooked chicken' comment!   I thought it was Odd who asked, but not sure.    Do you think whoever asked meant to ask if it was 'organic' vs. cooked? Or is "Chicken Salad Tartare" a hip new thing in the Portland foodie scene?  Poultry sushi anyone?

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2 hours ago, BusyOctober said:

Odd is beyond weird.  Who sits in the car while her brother in law is experiencing a medical crisis?  I can understand that she may not want to be around Zach if he was throwing up

 

I don't think it's weird. She's pregnant and likely doesn't want to sit in a waiting room full of germs. It's not like she needs to be in the exam room with him. 

I actually found Audrey pretty normal in this episode. I thought she was just fine with Amy.

About the car--I'm nearly certain I saw lap belts in a recent episode. Not the best, but something. 

Phoebe70, I also thought I heard Tori's mom ask if the chicken was cooked. WTF?

Tori seemed tired but she's a good sport, for sure. How did she not know her own birth story?

As far as Amy, her heart was in the right place. She seems to be a thoughtful mother-in-law. 

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8 minutes ago, Lukeysboat said:

Phoebe70, I also thought I heard Tori's mom ask if the chicken was cooked.

 

I heard her say that also. I thought she might have meant cooked versus canned. 

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OMG!  I forgot about the 'chicken salad- cooked chicken' comment!   I thought it was Odd who asked, but not sure.    Do you think whoever asked meant to ask if it was 'organic' vs. cooked? Or is "Chicken Salad Tartare" a hip new thing in the Portland foodie scene?  Poultry sushi anyone?

"No, It's raw- that is how we LP's like it."

Who asked that stupid question??

 

I remember a flashback when the kids were small and the place was filthy. Food and dog poop on the carpet and crap all over the place. Maybe she is just a messy person.

 

Auj looked so bored and put out this episode. She is pissed because nothing is about her!!

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Many cooked at home vs. pre-roasted chicken you buy in the market?

Is that the only car Jeremy owns?  If so, their new neighbors aren't going to like seeing that every day.  Maybe they can keep it in the garage, out of sight.

I wonder if Zach's illness is real or just put on for the series to add a little drama before the baby arrives.

I don't understand all the animosity towards Audrey.  It seems like everything she does or says is picked apart on this forum.  

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(edited)

I kept waiting for Auj to let Zach have the front seat in the car, but she never did. That way he could be closer to the fresh air from the window and have quick access to the door, if he needed to hop out and vomit real quick. 

Also, if they're saying all these symptoms he's having are the exact same symptoms he had when his shunt malfunctioned previously, then I'd be in my Dr.'s office demanding my shunt be examined.

Edited by Shmoopaloop
More thoughts popped into my brain.
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28 minutes ago, Diane M said:

Many cooked at home vs. pre-roasted chicken you buy in the market?

Is that the only car Jeremy owns?  If so, their new neighbors aren't going to like seeing that every day.  Maybe they can keep it in the garage, out of sight.

I wonder if Zach's illness is real or just put on for the series to add a little drama before the baby arrives.

I don't understand all the animosity towards Audrey.  It seems like everything she does or says is picked apart on this forum.  

Jeremy and Auj have another newer vehicle. I'm not sure why they choose to use that old one.  It might have lap belts, but, how does that work with a pregnancy?

I suspect that if someone doesn't like Jer and Auj, nothing else matters.  They will always be the distained.  lol  I didn't see anything last night that indicated any kind of bratty or rude behavior, from them.   Just a loving brother and his wife trying to be supportive and caring.  Asking a sick person about symptoms is important. IF they pass out, you need to tell EMS.  Also, pregnant women should avoid places where people are sick, if possible.  I do and I'm not pregnant.  Her not going into the doctor's office was a smart move, imo.  

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I love when they show the scenes of Tori & Zach preparing for the baby.  Last night they looked like they were packing for vacation with all those bags.  Someone needs to tell Zach he doesn't need to carry in everything all at once when they arrive.  Unless the rules have changed, the car seat can be brought in on the day the baby comes home. I know things change, but when I had my son, all I took was my bag, which included the going home outfit for the baby.  Is it a thing now to take a fully packed baby bag to the hospital?  Doesn't the hospital still provide things to use?   Like I said last week, it sounds like Tori & Zach could have used a hospital tour. I'm sure it would have helped with Tori's apprehension.  (I'm just assuming they didn't have tour since we didn't see or hear about it.)

I've watched Dr Oz enough to know  if your headache is very bad or it is the worse one you ever had, you better get to the ER or call 911 right away to rule out blood clot, stroke, aneurysm, etc.  Especially for a person that has a shunt. I'm thinking it was a reenactment for the show.  Why did Zach head out with Auj & Jer if he felt bad, especially riding In the clown car?

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I don't like Oddity but I did not see anything negative from her in this episode either.  

Zach and Jeremy appear very stressed.  I don't think it is Zach's shunt as symptoms are pretty specific.  

I don't know why they are both stressed.  Zach is having a little LP baby but what on earth does Jeremy have to be stressed about?

I have had migraines just like Zach.  I really think that is what he has wrong because a failure of the shunt means the symptoms do not abate.  At all...until surgery.  Zach is able to function between episodes.

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1 minute ago, Jellybeans said:

I don't like Oddity but I did not see anything negative from her in this episode either.  

Zach and Jeremy appear very stressed.  I don't think it is Zach's shunt as symptoms are pretty specific.  

I don't know why they are both stressed.  Zach is having a little LP baby but what on earth does Jeremy have to be stressed about?

I'm not an Audj fan either but I didn't see anything bad from her, when she said something to the effect of "sure I'll take advantage of getting pampered because Tori is" I think Amy could've included Aud in on the pampering, since they are both preg, not as an afterthought. 

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