S06.E16: Robert & Ashleigh

[Tara Ariano]

Quote

After being paralyzed as a teenager, Robert met Ashleigh online and they fell in love. With news he may not have much longer to live, Robert asks Nev and Max to bring Ashleigh to him so he can find out if their love was real.

[Primetimer]

Will Catfish bring Robert and Ashleigh together before he dies? (Yeah, it's a dark one.)

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[DiabLOL]

I'm sorry but Robert's a dick. He would have been fine with giving it a go if she was the hot girl in the pic even if she was a meth cooking murderer! I thought of Seinfeld's "Bubble Boy" ep.

I felt horrible that they put that girl through all this so she can be rejected like that. I feel horrible for her. I really really think they were waaaaay out of their depth with this sort of situation. 

[writejenn]

Not finished with the episode, but Nev could have used a better choice of words than "you are already on the plus side of things" when Ashleigh says she is not the murderer ...

[GaT]

2 hours ago, DiabLOL said:

I'm sorry but Robert's a dick. He would have been fine with giving it a go if she was the hot girl in the pic even if she was a meth cooking murderer! I thought of Seinfeld's "Bubble Boy" ep.

I felt horrible that they put that girl through all this so she can be rejected like that. I feel horrible for her. I really really think they were waaaaay out of their depth with this sort of situation. 

Totally agree. I started out watching the episode feeling horrible for Robert, & then it turns out he's the same kind of asshole who talks about how much they love the person until they see that they're aren't the hottie they thought they were. And then he decides to go talk to some other girl & blows off Ashleigh.  By the end of the episode I had no sympathy for Robert & total sympathy for Ashleigh.

[LotusFlower]

8 minutes ago, GaT said:

Totally agree. I started out watching the episode feeling horrible for Robert, & then it turns out he's the same kind of asshole who talks about how much they love the person until they see that they're aren't the hottie they thought they were. And then he decides to go talk to some other girl & blows off Ashleigh.  By the end of the episode I had no sympathy for Robert & total sympathy for Ashleigh.

Plus, he pretended that it was because he "didn't want to get hurt."  Right.  

Asshole.

[AftermathTV]

-Those card trick reactions were phoned in. I can tell what a natural reaction to that would've been.

-Paralyzed protagonist. Execs are salivating at how no work will need to be done to squeeze emotional manipulation out of this episode.

-You don't have to mime his position, Nev. 

-Homicide. Has Catfish ever gone through on its promise of something that challenging? Gut saying no.

-"I think I'm gonna throw up". And her gut's doing what we'd do if two strangers from a TV show called up knowing all our personal business and using guilt tactics.

-Moving faster than a normal Catfish, even if Robert can't get off that furniture.

-Nev, stop traipsing around before I wish actual murder upon you.

-If she had been a murderer, were they going to condemn her and do a big anti-murder PSA?

-Her mother was abusive and she has experience taking care of people with disabilities. Bam that checks off every concern?

-"I think it would be great for the both of you". Reminder that Nev is not someone to take advice from. Self-serving comes before people's limits.

-"Call me daddy boo-boo". "I wonder if she'll hold my hand". "Come on princess". Shut your trap twerp. 

-They are really egging on Ashleigh so that she's giddy about this. Not cool.

-"You're okay". Did that have a double meaning? His flirty personality comes to a dead stop btw.

-He was the one to disappear, not the Catfish. I have to wonder why he even wrote in when she hadn't ghosted.

-"I'm scared of falling harder and getting hurt worse". My line above is why that is absolute horseshit.

-Max notices the subtext in Robert's body language. Though I think he embellishes with the anxiety angle to polish the turd.

-"Friends at the least". "Huge win in this type of situation". Nev is sputtering out trying to fix the self-confidence dilemma he created.

-She held your hand, prick. You were so insincere that the two of you couldn't even share a room alone for a half hour.

-"She wasn't cool with it". "I let her know I was talking to a girl". Now, see, that sounds like you were trying to drive her away.

-"She got pissy with me and I can't deal with a lot a drama right now". Gee, I wonder if she was rightfully pissed off that you were just playing mind games with her and being dodgy with your rejection motivations....enjoy the coffin soon, buddy. Pretty girls must be lining up like suckers to be your couch-side nurse.

-I do hope she pursues something, because she'll have more chances than Robert, but never ask Catfish for help. Ever.

[Lovecat]

Well the one good thing that came out of this episode was to show that disabled people aren't always saints. They can be assholes just like the rest of us.

[Pepper Mostly]

See folks? It is better to be a skinny, chinless, meth addled murderer than FAT.

Poor Ashleigh. She was clearly not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and singularly charmless, what with her constant promises to barf all over all and sundry, but they set her up in the most cynical way possible. 

[messyone15]

Just a suggestion that you should maybe cut out that 90 second (or so) bit of weird silence and awkwardness at the beginning. :) Although maybe weird silence and awkwardness is perfectly suited for a thing about Catfish.

[Nikki55x]

Clearly if you are going to recap a show you should actually watch it properly. She said her mom died. She said her father has Alzheimer's
hence she most likely gets state funds because she is his care taker.

[Whimsy]

11 hours ago, writejenn said:

Not finished with the episode, but Nev could have used a better choice of words than "you are already on the plus side of things" when Ashleigh says she is not the murderer ...

I just came here to say that.  Bwahahahaha Nev.  You dummy.

Ashleigh seems like a really sweet, albeit simple, girl.  For Robert to do that to her really upsets me.  You could see from his face after she hugged him that he wasn't into her.  He's not really a 10 either- and I am not at all referring to his paralysis.  It annoyed me that he was calling her "boo" and "princess" and all giddy until she walked in.  It seemed almost like he was accepting of who she was until Nev took her outside.  But, I call bullshit on his "being scared" considering how he was acting until he saw her.  If she was the girl in the pictures saying all the same stuff he wouldn't have been saying he was scared of getting hurt.  Poor Ashleigh.  Nev and Max kept trying to convince Ashleigh that Robert wasn't being a total dick and that there was hope.  I know she probably doesn't believe it now- but she is waaaaaay better off without him.

[DiabLOL]

Nev's "plus side" comment made me gasp out loud and then I thought of all the times a Catfish was revealed to be plus sized using very low body cam monster music bs. Are we all crazy or are they really that fucked up? Do they think this is funny? It's really not.

 

A guy on the FB Catfish page has posted tons of screenshots from women Robert has harassed online. Really disturbing stuff

 

I hope Ashleigh finds a nice guy and I really hope she doesn't act as his caregiver at least not for decades to come. I hated the way Nev implied that this is s great gig for her. I Think she's been through enough with that sort of thing. He was coercing her by basically saying listen this is way good enough for you as a relationship. 

[Passing Strange]

Speaking of Nev's choice of words, he set things up to go wrong when he called Max and Robert and said of Ashleigh, "She's lovely." Nev meant her personality, but it looked like Robert took it to mean physically. I doubt Nev did it on purpose, he's just awkward that way. Of course, the thing to do at that point was for Nev and Ashleigh to take a selfie and send it to Robert, resulting in the first half hour episode of Catfish ever.

It's been a long time since I worked with social welfare programs, but I doubt things have changed enough that Ashleigh could support herself on what she might get for taking care of her father, especially since she said she "helps," not that she's the main caretaker. She could be receiving public assistance from the county, but a better bet would be SSI. I'm guessing she has a disability that's not obvious, either physical or emotional, that makes her qualified.

Edited July 20, 2017 by Passing Strange
Add random thought.

[GaT]

33 minutes ago, DiabLOL said:

A guy on the FB Catfish page has posted tons of screenshots from women Robert has harassed online. Really disturbing stuff

 

What???? Is he some kind of stalker too? I tried to find the posts on the FB page, but I don't have an account, so I can't really search. What kind of stuff was he saying? I also thought it was interesting that most of the comments were on Ashleigh's side, lots of people having problems with him being OK with a meth head murderer, but not someone who is fat.

43 minutes ago, DiabLOL said:

I hope Ashleigh finds a nice guy and I really hope she doesn't act as his caregiver at least not for decades to come. I hated the way Nev implied that this is s great gig for her. 

 I meant to say something about this but forgot. I couldn't believe Nev was making it sound that this relationship was perfect for her because she could be a caretaker, what an asshole thing to say. 

[DiabLOL]

1 minute ago, GaT said:

What???? Is he some kind of stalker too? I tried to find the posts on the FB page, but I don't have an account, so I can't really search. What kind of stuff was he saying? I also thought it was interesting that most of the comments were on Ashleigh's side, lots of people having problems with him being OK with a meth head murderer, but not someone who is fat.

I would categorize his online seduction style as moderately abusive construction worker/street harasser ie. "you're so beautiful marry me/fuck you bitch." Seeing the screen grabs many women sent this poster I had to remind myself that for a young woman to keep getting persistent "hi are you there hello what did I do are you mad please talk to me" over and over would be pretty rattling. 

[Caseysgirl]

Really, do Nev and Max have any humanity left?  How many overweight women do we have to watch be subjected to the humiliation of on screen rejection by  men who have no business being so fussy about what the person who listened to their f'd up hopes and dreams for years looks like.  Yeah, Robert's an asshole but Nev and Max are ultimately the ones who are profiting from this public shaming of people who are only dreaming of finding love. Nev, just because you've been catfished twice it doesn't give you permission to be so  callously cynical about the feeling of others.

[DiabLOL]

2 hours ago, Caseysgirl said:

Really, do Nev and Max have any humanity left?  How many overweight women do we have to watch be subjected to the humiliation of on screen rejection by  men who have no business being so fussy about what the person who listened to their f'd up hopes and dreams for years looks like.  Yeah, Robert's an asshole but Nev and Max are ultimately the ones who are profiting from this public shaming of people who are only dreaming of finding love. Nev, just because you've been catfished twice it doesn't give you permission to be so  callously cynical about the feeling of others.

Seriously! How could they do that to her? While we watched as we were all set up for tear jerking Robert sympathy too. They never should have let it get that far, let alone aired it. They could have stopped this, it wasn't some runaway train situation.

Edited July 21, 2017 by DiabLOL

[AftermathTV]

If these two can stalk down Catfish, why can't they do a simple background check on the scumbags that write into them before agreeing to assist?

They were so sure the fairytale cripple/fat girl relationship was going to bloom and that they'd look like matchmaking saints. 

At the very least they should've called Robert out. But their morality ends at whatever point would hurt their reputation. AKA Robert's sob story.

Despite what Nev thinks, anyone can meddle where they are not wanted and pay for airfare. Catfish is not taking the world by storm.

[CaughtOnTape]

15 hours ago, Caseysgirl said:

Really, do Nev and Max have any humanity left?  How many overweight women do we have to watch be subjected to the humiliation of on screen rejection by  men who have no business being so fussy about what the person who listened to their f'd up hopes and dreams for years looks like.  Yeah, Robert's an asshole but Nev and Max are ultimately the ones who are profiting from this public shaming of people who are only dreaming of finding love. Nev, just because you've been catfished twice it doesn't give you permission to be so  callously cynical about the feeling of others.

I mean...there is another side to the coin here.  Just because you are overweight and lacking self confidence doesn't give you carte blanche to steal someone else's pictures, pass them off as you and lie to people.  Yeah, Robert was an asshole in the end because it was clear he just didn't like what he saw, but she toyed with his emotions first.  Unfortunately she has no leg to stand on by way of morality in this situation.  If she was just some girl he rejected knowing full well what she looked like then that's one thing.  But she lied and manipulated him out of the gate.  

It was a sad situation but I didn't really have sympathy for either one of them.  Fear of rejection is horrible but you can't run around lying to everyone.  She gets no pass from me.  She knew what she was doing was shitty, hence her come to Jesus moment, but she did it anyway.  

[Caseysgirl]

What makes me even angrier about this particular episode is that this girl KNEW in her heart what the reception would be and insisted she could not meet him; it was even making her physically ill; and Nev dragged her along, really against all her best instincts, to receive the harsh reality, not alone in her own home where it must have been hard the first time he rejected her, but in front of America. God! They make me sick.

[gesundheit]

In fairness, that girl agreed to this entire thing before the episode even went into production. She didn't get strong-armed into it. Catfish knows all the details before they even start, the only part that they don't already know is what the end result will be. I did feel terrible for her, though, Robert really still thought she'd be the girl from the photos even after she'd 'fessed up. It cracks me up every time Nev and Max pretend like they're worried the catfish might be in prison or really a sex offender or murderer or something. First of all, boys, you can't text from prison, stop playing dumb. Second of all, I doubt many sex offenders would sign on to reveal themselves on this show.

[AV8n]

I'm tempted to give Ashleigh a mulligan on the fake pics. Sure, it was wrong, but she fessed up to it a while back without prodding. Of course, Robert held out hope that she was just afraid of overwhelming him with her supermodel looks. And our boy ain't picky. Chinless meth head possibly involved in a murder plot? No problem-o. Turns out he's just not into, ahem, blondes. 

Once the boo-boo princess walked through the door, it became apparent that the jig was up. That cold shoulder was not due to paralysis-related circulation issues. And heck, these two supposedly bonded over video games and he couldn't fire up the PlayStation for like half an hour?

Ashleigh deserves better. She's sweet, and kind enough to inform you when she's about to hurl. That's class.

On the other hand, I kinda hope Robert's new "local" girl turns out to be a 45yo dude.

[jamblastx]

While this show feels like it's on cruise control with the same stories week after week...and me wondering how these morons don't put in the five minutes of research that they by now have ALREADY SEEN Max and Nev do on previous episodes, I have to give them credit for surprising me by completely changing my opinion from the first five minutes of the show about both Robert and Ashleigh.  You could sense the douchiness creep in when the fake pics were a deal breaker BUT he never bothered to ask for real ones...and then stating to Max that an accused murderer might be ok but apparently not someone with a double digit dress size.  And speaking of said accused murderer....that pic will haunt my dreams...that was one scary looking person. 

[yb125]

In fairness, that girl agreed to this entire thing before the episode even went into production. She didn't get strong-armed into it. Catfish knows all the details before they even start, the only part that they don't already know is what the end result will be. I did feel terrible for her, though, Robert really still thought she'd be the girl from the photos even after she'd 'fessed up. It cracks me up every time Nev and Max pretend like they're worried the catfish might be in prison or really a sex offender or murderer or something. First of all, boys, you can't text from prison, stop playing dumb. Second of all, I doubt many sex offenders would sign on to reveal themselves on this show.

"First of all, boys, you can't text from prison, stop playing dumb. "


Ahhh... yeah you can. It is of course against the rules but one of the most smuggled in items are cell phones

[DiabLOL]

Yep there are totally cell phones in prison (smuggled in). Also, I'm sure Max and Nev would have little problem digging up a fame hungry criminal. 

I used to like this show for all the outrageous lies the Catfish told vs their reality and all the outrageous denial their victims were steeped in in order to believe them. 

I really felt this episode was so extreme in it's cruelty that any lying Ashleigh had done paled in comparison. One may say she knew going in what the show was about but frankly I'm not sure she's all that cynical or savvy. I think she was totally coerced into it.  I'm not into Catfish Snuff. 

[Glade]

No, people with severe disabilities aren't [insert expletive] for not feeling comfortable around you enough to want to pursue a relationship.  It isn't appropriate for able-bodied people to shame someone with a severe life-threatening disability that makes them extremely vulnerable for not liking and wanting to date any random person they don't want to.   

They both seemed reasonably ambivalent beforehand, and as the catfish she is the one who contacted mtv to appear on the show and essentially go on a blind date because she lied about what she looked like and felt this was better then just emailing an up to date picture of herself to Robert.  I see this as a really blameless situation, and there was no 'extreme cruelty,' not from Robert or Nev and Max, who credibly handled this delicate situation between two young people with problems.  I feel for Robert and hope he finds someone he can feel comfortable with, if he really wants a relationship at all.

[Iwilllieawake]

She didn't email the show, he did. He's the one who cut contact initially, when he could have easily just said "can you send me a real picture?" Instead he contacts the show to track her down and bring her to him, only to reject her once he finds out what she looks like. Then has the nerve to say she was "getting pissy" and that's why he cut contact again?

 

He's a jerk, plain and simple.

[AftermathTV]

7 hours ago, Glade said:

No, people with severe disabilities aren't [insert expletive] for not feeling comfortable around you enough to want to pursue a relationship.  It isn't appropriate for able-bodied people to shame someone with a severe life-threatening disability that makes them extremely vulnerable for not liking and wanting to date any random person they don't want to.   

They both seemed reasonably ambivalent beforehand, and as the catfish she is the one who contacted mtv to appear on the show and essentially go on a blind date because she lied about what she looked like and felt this was better then just emailing an up to date picture of herself to Robert.  I see this as a really blameless situation, and there was no 'extreme cruelty,' not from Robert or Nev and Max, who credibly handled this delicate situation between two young people with problems.  I feel for Robert and hope he finds someone he can feel comfortable with, if he really wants a relationship at all.

You severely misconstrued the situation. Not sure what you're trying to accomplish. The receipts about this loser have already been plastered everywhere.

[MagicCat]

The expletive that I'd use is shallow prick and it isn't any random person - it's someone he had a "deep connection" with and wanted her to relocate and marry him.  I would call him the same thing if he wasn't disabled - you don't get a pass for your assholeish behavior just because life hands you lemons.  He is one of those guys who doesn't have a lot to offer looks wise, personality wise, intelligence wise - who thinks for some reason that he deserves a super model.  There are a lot of them out there who aren't disabled too, I shame them just as much.

If he was totally repulsed by the way she looks, he could at least be polite and spend some time chatting with her.  I don't think it would have killed him.

[Sienna]

Ashleigh was clearly in the wrong for using a fake pic, but she fess'd up awhile ago, and (after that stupid "is she a killer?" detour) everything else he knew about her, name, location, general living situation, etc., seemed to pretty much check out. That puts her ahead of a lot of the people on this show (admittedly a low, low bar).

She also tried to contact him more than once after she told him the photo wasn't her, so there's a chance he could have gotten more answers (including what she really looks like) if he'd talked to her about it. It's understandable that he would cut off someone who lied to him, but if he was that set on finding out "the truth" it seems as though there might have been better/simpler/cheaper options than humiliating this girl on television. Unlike other catfish, she wasn't hiding from him, he cut HER off.

He's also under absolutely NO obligation to be with anyone he isn't attracted to (no one should be), but I REALLY side-eyed the whole "I asked her to marry me, but don't really know much about her" thing. I get that Ashleigh probably isn't the sort of person who volunteers a lot of information about herself. I also get that for Robert, their online relationship was probably an escape from an incredibly difficult set of circumstances, but he was clearly indulging in a fantasy of what she was, and I think it went above and beyond the deception on her part. Especially if he somehow convinced himself that the pictures really WERE her, and she was lying for other reasons. Dude, you contacted the show, so I assume you've seen it before? Nine times out of ten, the person using fake pics, or being evasive about meeting IRL, is doing so because they're overweight. You really should have dialed down the "come to daddy" bullshit before you knew what she looked like. And in general, for that matter. It was creepy.

[ava111]

This was disgusting. Apparently, according to Robert, everyone (even murderer) deserves a chance except if you are bigger than size 10 . It didn't matter to him that she said she loved him despite his disability. As soon as she walked in she wasn't deserving a chance. No you are not forced to be attracted to someone you are just not into but just a while ago he was ready to marry her but suddenly he couldn't spend an hour with her chatting about all they had in common before she walked through the door. She was ready to take care of him but he didn't have  the decency to accept her as she was and even just be a friend. Suddenly it was all about him not wanting to get hurt, doesn't matter he hurts her and humiliates her on national television. He couldn't even pretend until the filming was over. That was the same person he called boo and princess just a minute ago. I think she got it as soon as Max called Neve out from the car without her, there was obviously some problem if she wasn't included in the conversation. And the fact he couldn't spend more than 30 seconds talking to her. Just wow, what a dick. She is better off without that asshole. 

[ForReal]

On 7/22/2017 at 5:16 AM, MagicCat said:

If he was totally repulsed by the way she looks, he could at least be polite and spend some time chatting with her.  I don't think it would have killed him.

I don't think I would mind if it had.

I thought she was very sweet, and I thought she seemed to have issues as serious as Robert's, although invisible and not physical. I was frustrated by Nev coercing her to go with him without even trying to understand why she was afraid -- extreme social anxiety, perhaps? Nev is not qualified to handle these kinds of cases. When he suggested she could care for Robert and she hesitated, I was like, 'Dude, she just cared for one parent until she died and now she's dealing with a dad with dementia -- how is this good for her?"

Really, this was possibly the worst show yet. They did not do right by either person, and they should have known better than to make this episode.

[kitten59]

On 7/21/2017 at 9:32 AM, jamblastx said:

While this show feels like it's on cruise control with the same stories week after week...and me wondering how these morons don't put in the five minutes of research that they by now have ALREADY SEEN Max and Nev do on previous episodes, I have to give them credit for surprising me by completely changing my opinion from the first five minutes of the show about both Robert and Ashleigh.  You could sense the douchiness creep in when the fake pics were a deal breaker BUT he never bothered to ask for real ones...and then stating to Max that an accused murderer might be ok but apparently not someone with a double digit dress size.  And speaking of said accused murderer....that pic will haunt my dreams...that was one scary looking person. 

I know! It was like he pulled an Edward Norton from "Primal Fear". A switch went off and the cretin revealed himself. It was jarring when he suddenly called her Princess and Boo boo while yelling out the window.

[auntjess]

On ‎7‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 10:32 AM, CaughtOnTape said:

I mean...there is another side to the coin here.  Just because you are overweight and lacking self confidence doesn't give you carte blanche to steal someone else's pictures, pass them off as you and lie to people.

No, but she had told him earlier that it wasn't really her photo, and he immediately dumped her.  And that was that, but then HE calls Catfish.
It was inexcusable that Nev didn't tell Max, and Robert, that she was fat, and had lied for that reason.
It would have saved her a lot of grief.

[JanneyGee]

Having been a caretaker for a variety of family members & two spouses, all of whom passed away, I can say that this sweet young woman really escaped heartache when Robert rejected her.  If Robert truly was living each day as his last, his perspective would be different.  But in spite of his disability, he's a typical "visually challenged" male, more trapped by unreasonable expectations than he is by the limatations by his body.  Too bad for Robert but happy for Ashleigh.

[mamadrama]

She dodged a bullet with this one. This asshole has been harassing women right and left on FB and he's had his account closed several times. I actually got a message from him about 6 months ago and when I responded and said that I, married with kids, wasn't interested he sent me a few choice words. Words that rhyme with "hunt"and "witch."