The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[Churchhoney]

27 minutes ago, Marthalord said:

Caleb is 22, turning 23 soon

 

And he's supposedly an old friend of Josh? Who's, like, six years older? How the heck would they have gotten to be buddies? 

[GeeGolly]

13 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

And he's supposedly an old friend of Josh? Who's, like, six years older? How the heck would they have gotten to be buddies? 

Especially since DC and Cheaters Camp have kept Josh busy for the last 3 years or so.

[Marthalord]

Why do you think him and josh are close buddies? I know he's been friends with the whole family for a long time. And like someone else said, Caleb and Josh were groomsmen at Caleb's brother's wedding back in May. I would say there's a good chance of him working for the family. Perhaps helping Josh with selling cars or fixing up the Duggar's properties?

[GeeGolly]

Maybe Josh met him through Caleb's brother. I'm guessing JB has enough cheap labor with Josh, JD, Joe, Josiah, Jed and Jer. Oh and the Toiletman himself - Ben.

[xwordfanatik]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

Trust me. You've never seen any people as upset as control freaks who accidentally create an independent free thinker. If I had nickel for every time I was threatened with being sent to the local hospital for the mentally ill or turned over to the police I'd be quite well fixed. 

Unfortunately, this sort of person exists in much greater numbers than we'd wish or expect, I imagine. 

That is horrid.  Just thinking about it gives me chills.

I learn a lot from your posts, @Churchhoney.  I'm sorry you had to go through that kind of upbringing.

[cmr2014]

I hope that this isn't a prelude to Jana courting this guy. After waiting so long, and turning down other suitors, he seems like "settling" in a big way. I suppose, though, it's going to be hard for any of the Duggar daughters to find a guy who isn't a fame whore, who will be willing to deal with all of the Duggar baggage.

[Temperance]

5 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

And he's supposedly an old friend of Josh? Who's, like, six years older? How the heck would they have gotten to be buddies? 

More like 8 years older.  That seems a lot.

Edited October 31, 2017 by Temperance

[pinesol]

Maybe Caleb is an accountability partner for josh from sex camp?

[floridamom]

Jana 'being courted by this guy'?//More like Jana babysitting. I hope she isn't doing either. I think she really missed the boat when Jeremy was up for grabs. Where was Boob going to find a then-28 year old guy, whose never been married or widowed, has no children, is religious, and it tall and good looking? I'm sure he's handy around the house too.  He's an athlete and has a good body. Jana is still quite the mystery to me. She doesn't add up in to me taking in to account their belief system....women marry young and start to produce ASAP and often. Perhaps there's something 'not right' with Jana? After all, she is the eldest of the girls and has the worst experience of her parents' being new to this Gothard lifestyle and felt their intense pressure to conform. I think that after these years and all of those children, even Jim Bob and Michelle have mellowed a little....privately.

Publicly, they still preach the same old stuff. Jana could be the worst casualty of the 19.

[MsJamieDornan]

32 minutes ago, floridamom said:

She doesn't add up in to me taking in to account their belief system....women marry young and start to produce ASAP and often.

That's what I wonder about. With her belief system, she's way behind everyone her age.

And , in real life ( not Duggar life ),  there's no rush for her to get married but ,she doesn't work or go to college and lives at home. It confuses me.

[Churchhoney]

11 hours ago, Marthalord said:

Why do you think him and josh are close buddies? I know he's been friends with the whole family for a long time. And like someone else said, Caleb and Josh were groomsmen at Caleb's brother's wedding back in May. I would say there's a good chance of him working for the family. Perhaps helping Josh with selling cars or fixing up the Duggar's properties?

I read that upthread somewhere. Could have just been a passing rumor. 

[Churchhoney]

10 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

That is horrid.  Just thinking about it gives me chills.

I learn a lot from your posts, @Churchhoney.  I'm sorry you had to go through that kind of upbringing.

Thanks. .... It's a funny thing -- and I do think it gives me some insight into these controlling families, although of course it's always possible that my experience was completely different from theirs.

According to my experience, that kind of thing is quite upsetting at the moment that it's happening. But you totally learn to downplay it and pretend that it never happened, both quite soon after and forever.

It's your normal. So of course it's NBD. That's the way living creatures operate, I think. We adapt to whatever is around and carry on living as best we can. And don't really notice even crazy things after a while. LIke a tree growing up around a boulder or something.

For many years now, it just makes me laugh when I think of my own situation. But I feel Incredible-Hulk-type rage when I think of it happening to some other kid or kidult.

That's why I can't ever buy a lot of the things that are said about various Duggars et al -- "Oh, she's just happy there. She knows what she wants, and it's to stay with her parents." "JD must be such a slow-witted jerk to be hanging out at home after all these years. He could just leave." "Jill's a stage-five clinger. What a loser." "The girls know exactly how they feel about the molestation, and if they say it didn't bother them, it didn't." "The Rodriguez kids may just be thin because of their genetics." "The Botkin sisters probably just don't want to be married." Etc. 

I see so many of these things as the likely results of ceaseless (and successful) attempts to mold the kids into their parents' puppets. Just ways the kids have folded what they're hounded with into their own ways of living and coping -- taking it as their normal, even though it's heinous, and moving along with it, so that everyone thinks that they're the ones with some crazy idea of how to live. 

6 hours ago, Janarella said:

I think a lot of these so-called "adults" have stunted emotional growth and hang out with age-inappropriate friends. Josh is friends with Caleb who's 8 years younger than him, similar to how Sierra Jo Dominguez is friends with Joy who's also eight-ish years younger than her. Yet another reason why Jana can't find a man. You gotta be mature in order to attract a mature mate! 

Yeah, I can definitely see that. I was just wondering where he and Josh would have met up and bonded. 

[Churchhoney]

2 hours ago, MsJamieDornan said:

That's what I wonder about. With her belief system, she's way behind everyone her age.

 

She was deliberately raised to be a stunted half-human-being. And so she is that. 

Take it from someone else who was raised to be that as well. You don't get over that, or at least you don't get over that totally, even if you leave at some point. You can't just instantly replace whole stages of life that you're supposed to have by nature but that you were deprived of. And you can't just jettison the too-old-for-you responsibility you were stuck with either. 

I don't find Jana a mystery at all, really. She's exactly what she was made to be. A servant who's been deliberately forced to be half an old woman and half a helpless child. Those two halves don't add up to a 27-year-old, ever. 

[crazycatlady58]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

She was deliberately raised to be a stunted half-human-being. And so she is that. 

Take it from someone else who was raised to be that as well. You don't get over that, or at least you don't get over that totally, even if you leave at some point. You can't just instantly replace whole stages of life that you're supposed to have by nature but that you were deprived of. And you can't just jettison the too-old-for-you responsibility you were stuck with either. 

I don't find Jana a mystery at all, really. She's exactly what she was made to be. A servant who's been deliberately forced to be half an old woman and half a helpless child. Those two halves don't add up to a 27-year-old, ever. 

That last sentence has to be one of the saddest I have read on this forum.

[bigskygirl]

Maybe Jana has seen the unhappy marriages of Josh and Jill and decided it is not for her yet. I mean except for Jeremy even if with his me, me and did I say me attitude is the best catch of the Duggar's sons-in-law and lets not forget Josh, I would not be in a major rush to get married and start having kids.

I admit I cannot stand Jill, but I do feel bad for her and always hope she gets the help she desperately needs. I personally do not see any of the Duggars kids as a great catch, but I still hold out hope one day at least one of them will tell JB and Michelle off and take the real world by storm.

[kokapetl]

Jana might not be the most functional and self reliant and independent individual, but her possible shortcomings don’t mean she’s not a complete person. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

1 hour ago, Kokapetl said:

Jana might not be the most functional and self reliant and independent individual, but her possible shortcomings don’t mean she’s not a complete person. 

I suppose that depends on who she "is", or would be as a complete person. I guess it's possible that the Jana you see is pretty much what she would have grown into with all the freedom in the world to chart her own course, but it seems a bit more likely that she would have been living a life of her own by this point if she hadn't felt either obligated to stay or not known any other viable option.

[Nysha]

14 hours ago, Janarella said:

I feel like a man who genuinely loved Jana...

 

But that's the major problem with the Duggar courtship travesty, the couples don't know each other enough to genuinely love each other. They may like each other, think the other is cute, are eager to fulfill their God-given desire to marry, mate, and procreate, but there is not a chance that genuine love shows up at the altar on their wedding day.

[Churchhoney]

2 minutes ago, Nysha said:

But that's the major problem with the Duggar courtship travesty, the couples don't know each other enough to genuinely love each other. They may like each other, think the other is cute, are eager to fulfill their God-given desire to marry, mate, and procreate, but there is not a chance that genuine love shows up at the altar on their wedding day.

I think it'd be far healthier if the family went into the marriages simply stating that they are basically arranged marriages because fathers have the right to choose, that everybody understands that, that they don't know each other terribly well right now, but that they intend to follow their principles and work their way toward a strong loving partnership in the early years of the marriage. I know a couple of arranged marriages that were undertaken in other cultures, and it's clear that with the right mindset -- and both people being clearheaded and reasonable -- this can work. 

Instead, these sworn utter eschewers of contemporary culture insist on arranging marriages while simultaneously peddling the Disney-princess dream that they've all found "true love" (with a side of equally ill-advised "best friend" blathering) after their hasty, constantly monitored phony-baloney arranged courtships.

All done so they can keep on selling to their naive and delusional "fans" and don't mess up the family brand, of course. And all done, as usual, without a second's consideration of either reality or the well-being of the kids, whose sick controlling parents were not forced into this kind of phony situation but force it on their kids with gay abandon. Because: money. 

The all-purpose Duggar-family rule is: Everything must be falsified for the good of the corporation. 

[AnnieBeez]

I don't see Jana as a helpless, stunted person at all. She may or may not feel that she can leave home, but she seems the most independent of all the older girls. She knows how to get shit done. She'd be fine making her way in the world solo, if and when she should choose to do so. 

I've known too many quiet, sly people to think she has no personality. I see a twinkle in her eye and, and like JD, she can sling a low-key zinger on occasion. 

[floridamom]

I believe that Jana is very good at what she has been doing her whole life...running her household, taking care of children, etc. But put her out in the world, hold a job, pay bills, manage money, go about town alone, and I don't think she has what it takes because she has been told to suppress it all of her life and hasn't any real LIFE LIVING skills developed outside of the house. I could be wrong, but this is my impression.

[Churchhoney]

38 minutes ago, PuhLeeze said:

I don't see Jana as a helpless, stunted person at all. She may or may not feel that she can leave home, but she seems the most independent of all the older girls. She knows how to get shit done. She'd be fine making her way in the world solo, if and when she should choose to do so. 

I've known too many quiet, sly people to think she has no personality. I see a twinkle in her eye and, and like JD, she can sling a low-key zinger on occasion. 

Well, all I know is that I was psychologically stunted and warped as hell, coming out of a situation that appears -- to me, at least -- to be pretty psychologically similar to the Duggar situation. 

But I was in no way helpless. I've been competent in pretty much every possible way since I was a little kid. I've always been fabulous at getting shit done and at taking care of everybody, of all ages and varieties, in my family and elsewhere. And I can put out zingers with the best of them. People have always told me that I ought to do stand up. 

So those things aren't mutually exclusive!

However, of course you're right that I could be dead wrong about the psychological stunting that I believe has gone on in the Duggar household. I may just be projecting something onto a family in which the kids aren't stunted in the least. I hope for their sake that's true, although I continue to doubt that it is! 

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

I think it'd be far healthier if the family went into the marriages simply stating that they are basically arranged marriages because fathers have the right to choose, that everybody understands that, that they don't know each other terribly well right now, but that they intend to follow their principles and work their way toward a strong loving partnership in the early years of the marriage. I know a couple of arranged marriages that were undertaken in other cultures, and it's clear that with the right mindset -- and both people being clearheaded and reasonable -- this can work. 

Instead, these sworn utter eschewers of contemporary culture insist on arranging marriages while simultaneously peddling the Disney-princess dream that they've all found "true love" (with a side of equally ill-advised "best friend" blathering) after their hasty, constantly monitored phony-baloney arranged courtships.

All done so they can keep on selling to their naive and delusional "fans" and don't mess up the family brand, of course. And all done, as usual, without a second's consideration of either reality or the well-being of the kids, whose sick controlling parents were not forced into this kind of phony situation but force it on their kids with gay abandon. Because: money. 

The all-purpose Duggar-family rule is: Everything must be falsified for the good of the corporation. 

I agree, except for the money part. I believe JB & M think their courtship to marriage is truly better than the typical dating of young adults, And in turn, their indoctrinated kids believe so too. They have this unrealistic notion that dating without kissing/sex gives them the opportunity to really know one another. From my perspective I see young kids be haunted by the thought of a failed courtship and taunted by the thought of finally having sex. Doesn't feel like a good foundation for getting to know each other to me.

I do feel, however, that even without the cameras the Duggars would continue with the courtship to marriage.

[cmr2014]

I was thinking about Jana, and why she isn't 'courting,' and it occurred to me that it could be the poverty. She's supposed to marry a Gothard guy, and they have to work for themselves regardless of where their talents may lie. Lots of Gothard families live in poverty, and she knows that better than most. She lived in poverty for a long time, and she may well not want to go back. Of all of her sisters, only Jill seems to have married a guy who has any shot of supporting her without the TLC cash -- and look what happened there . . .

[Sew Sumi]

Jill SEEMED to marry a guy [who could support her w/o TLC $$]. 

He's the biggest loser of them all. At least Ben works doing SOMETHING for cash outside of TLC. Now, we don't know what that is, but since they have made no mention of it other than "work," I assume he's in Boob's employ. I think if he was working outside the Borg, they'd mention it, like they did when he fixed windshields with his dad and worked as a gopher at the insurance agency. 

I feel so sorry for the boys in this family. None of them are going to get out from under Boob's fat thumb. Ever. 

[mynextmistake]

Has it occurred to anyone else that staying single is Jana’s way of controlling her fertility?

Jana’s spent her entire life raising other people’s kids, one after another after another. She’s seen the poverty and neglect that are almost unavoidable in Gothard families. I could see her wanting to avoid having 10+ kids of her own. But at the same time, I think she is the most indoctrinated of the older girls. No way in hell that she’s going to use birth control, even NFP, or refuse to be joyfully available to her husband at will. By marrying at, say, 30, her age alone would probably limit her family size to a maximum of 6 or 7 kids. Still a large family, but a manageably large one, not the impossibly huge kind she had growing up.

Of course, this assumes that she is still able to find a partner at 30 that she would consider marrying. Maybe she and one of the unmarried twentysomething unmarried fundie men have some kid of arrangement where they pretend to ignore each other for years and then announce on her 30th birthday that God has laid it on their heart to court.

Ok, kidding about that part. But i’m Serious about the rest. 

[Churchhoney]

3 minutes ago, mynextmistake said:

Has it occurred to anyone else that staying single is Jana’s way of controlling her fertility?

Jana’s spent her entire life raising other people’s kids, one after another after another. She’s seen the poverty and neglect that are almost unavoidable in Gothard families. I could see her wanting to avoid having 10+ kids of her own. But at the same time, I think she is the most indoctrinated of the older girls. No way in hell that she’s going to use birth control, even NFP, or refuse to be joyfully available to her husband at will. By marrying at, say, 30, her age alone would probably limit her family size to a maximum of 6 or 7 kids. Still a large family, but a manageably large one, not the impossibly huge kind she had growing up.

Of course, this assumes that she is still able to find a partner at 30 that she would consider marrying. Maybe she and one of the unmarried twentysomething unmarried fundie men have some kid of arrangement where they pretend to ignore each other for years and then announce on her 30th birthday that God has laid it on their heart to court.

Ok, kidding about that part. But i’m Serious about the rest. 

Yeah, I think a lot of us see that as one of the clear possibilities. Makes sense that somebody who's already raised as many kids as she has wouldn't want to add more in double digits. 

[AnnieBeez]

5 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Well, all I know is that I was psychologically stunted and warped as hell, coming out of a situation that appears -- to me, at least -- to be pretty psychologically similar to the Duggar situation. 

But I was in no way helpless. I've been competent in pretty much every possible way since I was a little kid. I've always been fabulous at getting shit done and at taking care of everybody, of all ages and varieties, in my family and elsewhere. And I can put out zingers with the best of them. People have always told me that I ought to do stand up. 

So those things aren't mutually exclusive!

However, of course you're right that I could be dead wrong about the psychological stunting that I believe has gone on in the Duggar household. I may just be projecting something onto a family in which the kids aren't stunted in the least. I hope for their sake that's true, although I continue to doubt that it is! 

Oh, I have no doubt that Jana's home life and batshit crazy parents and religion have affected her. I don't find her "stunted" as in stuck perpetual childhood or being unable to cope in the real world. I don't think Jana would be crying if a shower rod fell or post photos on social media of a pile of dirty diapers on a dresser. 

I think, for whatever reason, Jana's chosen to stay home. I have a feeling she's resisted pressure to "court." 

[BitterApple]

Courting in Gothardland is a game of diminishing returns. The longer Jana waits, the less likely she is to find a guy who's not a complete creeper. She could presumably marry younger, however if these guys want a Child Army, she probably wouldn't be their first choice. 

I think Jana's best option would be to find a non-Fundie guy who's simply a Conservative Christian, but there's little chance of meeting him when she's stuck in the TTH all day. 

[Catfin]

If Jim Boob wanted Jana married, she'd be married. My theory is that he suffers from Stockholm Syndrome to Mechelle. Mechelle's dislike of Jana affects any prospects, good or bad, that come Jana's way.  Mechelle isn't letting her escape due to real or imagined wrongs in her delusional mind. Jim Boob doesn't want to risk pissing off michelle by marrying Jana off. I doubt she has much say in the matter. 

[Scarlett45]

@mynextmistake I think your theory has a lot of merit. Right now remaining single means she only has to answer to JB and Michelle who checked out years ago. Having a husband means giving up rights over her body, fertility etc. possibly living in poverty and going back to the days before TLC funds improved their quality of life.  IF that’s her thinking I don’t blame her one wit. 

I think JB doesn’t press it because they DO need Jana, and unlike her awful child molester brother, she isn’t going to do anything to shame the family by remaining single. 

[MsJamieDornan]

4 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

possibly living in poverty

None of the other marrieds are living in poverty, I'm guessing she wouldn't have to either.

[cmr2014]

3 minutes ago, MsJamieDornan said:

None of the other marrieds are living in poverty, I'm guessing she wouldn't have to either.

For now.

Once the TLC gravy train dries up, what then? Derick, Ben and Jeremy all seem to think that they have a big future as preachers, but none of them is charismatic enough to go very far, and that market is drying up. Derick and Jeremy have college degrees, but neither shows any interest in actually working, and no one's going to hire them for an entry level position when they're 30+ and full of their own importance and they are competing against 20 somethings who are grateful to find work. Ben, at least, has some initiative, but he has no education and no skills.

Remember that JB lost $250,000 on a failed Senate campaign. He had the money to feed, clothe, and shelter his family, and he chose to spend it elsewhere. I wouldn't blame Jana if she were wary.

[mynextmistake]

3 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Yeah, I think a lot of us see that as one of the clear possibilities. Makes sense that somebody who's already raised as many kids as she has wouldn't want to add more in double digits. 

Sorry. I’m newish. 

[mynextmistake]

1 hour ago, Catfin said:

If Jim Boob wanted Jana married, she'd be married. My theory is that he suffers from Stockholm Syndrome to Mechelle. Mechelle's dislike of Jana affects any prospects, good or bad, that come Jana's way.  Mechelle isn't letting her escape due to real or imagined wrongs in her delusional mind. Jim Boob doesn't want to risk pissing off michelle by marrying Jana off. I doubt she has much say in the matter. 

I’ve seen a lot of people saying that Michelle hates Jana. I don’t really pick up on that. I don’t think Michelle likes any of those kids except Josh and Josie, and I’m not even sure she likes Josie so much as she sees her as a walking poster child for her pro-life agenda. I know people think she likes Jessa, but I don’t get that either. I don’t think she’s any fonder of Jill, say, or Joy, or any of the boys who aren’t Josh than she is of Jana. 

Sometimes it seems like Michelle has Stockholm Syndrome. I think she regrets marrying JB at 17. I think she resents having to deal with his constant complaints of “baggage” and reminders that she was a dirty whore as a teenager because she dated boys and mowed the lawn in her bikini. I think she does not like children or being a mom. I think initially she felt trapped and sublimated those feelings into becoming a perfect Gothard wife because otherwise she would have quietly drunk herself to death in the laundry room. And now I think she toes the line because she likes the attention and material gain from the TLC show.

Jana is quiet, but I don’t think she’s stupid and I think she has the best memory of what life was like before Michelle got a steady stream of Starbucks and Jim Bob realized the girls would be more relatable in relatively normal clothes than they were in home-sewn prairie dresses. I don’t think she wants that life. 

[Churchhoney]

7 hours ago, mynextmistake said:

Sorry. I’m newish. 

Goodness! Nothing at all to be sorry about. I'm sorry if I made it seem  that way! All I meant to say was -- You gave a very good account of a theory that seems pretty sensible to a lot of us! 

Edited November 1, 2017 by Churchhoney

[GeeGolly]

We've seen and heard about many sides of Jana; Michelle's recounting of how Jana was a spirited talkative child side, who now saves her chatter for mommy & daddy side, the broken hearted, give away your jewelry box to Jessa side, the squirmy slim peak at questioning creationism side, the incapable emotional mess of handling one of Josie's seizures side, the at your beck & call babysitter/servant side, the tearful I can't find forgiveness in my heart side, the strongly opinionated I want a man who stays home and works with his hands side, the go along with the gravy train show side, the uh-oh don't tell Jana sister-mom side, the Girl Scout bring a sewing machine side, etc.

What gets in the way of seeing the whole picture is she has never been to school, had a job or left home. Those 3 things, IMO helps one with defining who they are. I'm guessing Jana might not have a clear picture of who she is either.

[mynextmistake]

12 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Goodness! Nothing at all to be sorry about. I'm sorry if I made it seem  that way! All I meant to say was -- You gave a very good account of a theory that seems pretty sensible to a lot of us! 

I’m so sorry, Churchhoney! I wasn’t offended at all. I’m sorry if it sounded that way. I just felt bad about derailing the thread with a theory y’all had already talked about. I’ve read back some, but I haven’t gotten through the whole thread yet. 

[queenanne]

On 10/31/2017 at 5:40 PM, GeeGolly said:

I agree, except for the money part. I believe JB & M think their courtship to marriage is truly better than the typical dating of young adults, And in turn, their indoctrinated kids believe so too. They have this unrealistic notion that dating without kissing/sex gives them the opportunity to really know one another. From my perspective I see young kids be haunted by the thought of a failed courtship and taunted by the thought of finally having sex. Doesn't feel like a good foundation for getting to know each other to me.

I do feel, however, that even without the cameras the Duggars would continue with the courtship to marriage.

The general idea is not wholly without merit if their sole goal is a lifelong marriage; namely, that introducing sexual chemistry from the start casts a halo and gloss over relationships that otherwise fundamentally aren't good matches personality-wise, expectation-wise, long-term-goals-wise, etc.  - i.e., the prosaic considerations of real life.

However, the Dugg version really doesn't work on this level either, because they simultaneously allow an artificial dreamworld construct where the shimmering veneer of sexual chemistry, at least for the girls, is replaced or supplanted with her special magical status as "The Courted, who cannot be expected to essay a single household responsibility or hold a single thought in her pretty head other than Her Beloved while they court."

Edited November 2, 2017 by queenanne

[janey]

Some things I've wondered about Jana and JD as the ones who aren't married yet are:

1) was the intention to marry them off as a set for the show and it hasn't panned out?

2) did them being twins have something to do with them being "chosen" as unmarried caretakers?

3) is there a stigma about boy-girl twins having shared the womb and so they are "tainted" somehow? (I doubt this one but I don't put anything past this lot.)

Edited November 2, 2017 by janey

[flyingdi]

I think the problem with the Duggar marriages, especially for the girls, is the spouse is supposed to be all things to the other.

Concentrating on the girls, the husband is supposed to be lover, protector, surrogate father and best friend to the wife.  Yeah, that doesn't happen without a lot of time to get to know each other.  The Duggars are expected to do it immediately but not till after they are married.  Most of these kids are still in the getting to know each other phase.  Its a lot of unneeded pressure, IMO!

11 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

We've seen and heard about many sides of Jana; Michelle's recounting of how Jana was a spirited talkative child side, who now saves her chatter for mommy & daddy side, the broken hearted, give away your jewelry box to Jessa side, the squirmy slim peak at questioning creationism side, the incapable emotional mess of handling one of Josie's seizures side, the at your beck & call babysitter/servant side, the tearful I can't find forgiveness in my heart side, the strongly opinionated I want a man who stays home and works with his hands side, the go along with the gravy train show side, the uh-oh don't tell Jana sister-mom side, the Girl Scout bring a sewing machine side, etc.

What gets in the way of seeing the whole picture is she has never been to school, had a job or left home. Those 3 things, IMO helps one with defining who they are. I'm guessing Jana might not have a clear picture of who she is either.

I dont think any of these kids know who they are, really. Including He Who Should Not be Named. But then it doesn't matter who they are.  It only matters how they reflect on their parents.

Edited November 2, 2017 by flyingdi
Too add last part

[Genevrier]

On 10/31/2017 at 9:34 PM, mynextmistake said:

Has it occurred to anyone else that staying single is Jana’s way of controlling her fertility?

The very reason most of my great-great aunts became nuns! 

[CarolMK]

I'm pretty sure that Caleb was around helping Josh and Anna remodel something in the Washington DC house. This was the episode when all of the Duggars showed up early for Thanksgiving dinner and Anna was probably pregnant at the time, and killing herself trying to make dinner. It had to have taken place at least 3 years ago. Somehow I feel Caleb is a bit older than 22 if he's already been through college. 

No idea what's going on with Jana but probably she feels that the less said, the better. I've often thought that she would not want her wedding day to be televised since she seems very private. Same goes for John David. Who knows, if this show ever gets cancelled, I'm sure a Jana Duggar wedding would revitalize it for a season. 

[Sew Sumi]

That wasn't Caleb at Smuggar's DC residence. I forget his name (it's rather odd), but his sister was one of Jessa's bridesmaids. Remember, he was the hottie on the treadmill at the gym with the Slob. He didn't go to college. He has worked at ALERT for at least the last year. 

[sometimesy]

Imagine how difficult it would be to leave your children in the care of Michelle and Boob. Jana can't go too far. Even though Hannie is old enough to care for her younger siblings, her nieces/nephews, older brothers, her bio parents and the jkid, she is still a child herself. Have a heart people. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On 10/31/2017 at 10:24 PM, Catfin said:

If Jim Boob wanted Jana married, she'd be married. My theory is that he suffers from Stockholm Syndrome to Mechelle. Mechelle's dislike of Jana affects any prospects, good or bad, that come Jana's way.  Mechelle isn't letting her escape due to real or imagined wrongs in her delusional mind. Jim Boob doesn't want to risk pissing off michelle by marrying Jana off. I doubt she has much say in the matter. 

I agree that if JB wanted to marry her off, she'd be married. I do think sooner or later this is going to happen because the only thing that could draw in viewers as the numbers decline is a Jana courtship/wedding.  Even then, though, he and Michelle will be sad that they have to marry off their workhorse for ratings.

Being a "stay at home daughter" is a very real thing in Fundie/Gothardite circles. That's what Jana is - their SAHD.  That's why she's not married....she's the family's stay-at-home-daughter.  She may not want to be married, have twenty homebirths that could be botched, and have tons of more kids to watch and care for. She may not like guys. She may want to be married because she wants independence. She may want to have a dozen kids of her own. Who knows? In any case, I doubt Jana has much choice about being a SAHD either way. 

 http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2010/december/what-is-stay-at-home-daughters-movement.html

[Catfin]

I've been searching for a video link of a fundy family that "brought their daughter home" from her workplace, as her hapless spouse finally made enough to support the family without her bookkeeping job.  It was posted on a parenting forum that enjoyed fundy bashing. ?   The poor young thing looked mortified and her coworkers were floored. Her mom, dad, spouse and brothers essentially burst into this small office (think Dunder-Mifflin) and told her boss she was leaving.  It was bizarre. You'd appreciate it! 

[ariel]

3 minutes ago, Catfin said:

I've been searching for a video link of a fundy family that "brought their daughter home" from her workplace, as her hapless spouse finally made enough to support the family without her bookkeeping job.  It was posted on a parenting forum that enjoyed fundy bashing. ?   The poor young thing looked mortified and her coworkers were floored. Her mom, dad, spouse and brothers essentially burst into this small office (think Dunder-Mifflin) and told her boss she was leaving.  It was bizarre. You'd appreciate it! 

That sounds like an episode of Duck Dynasty.

[Sew Sumi]

I remember that! Didn't he also bring a bon voyage cake? 

eta: I think it was a blog post with lots of pictures, not a video. Fundies used to love to blog before Instagram. 

Edited November 21, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[Catfin]

I think so, Sew Sumi!  If I recall, they were pretty backwoodsy.