The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[MunichNark]

I feel rather sorry for her - in older pictures you can see a different girl entirely - she still had spunk. What happened during the last 10 years that she lost it so much?

 

Really really starting to loathe MEchelle and Dim Bulb.....

[dillpickles]

I feel rather sorry for her - in older pictures you can see a different girl entirely - she still had spunk. What happened during the last 10 years that she lost it so much?

Really really starting to loathe MEchelle and Dim Bulb.....

I remember watching one of the older episodes, where they went fishing. Jana seemed like she was having such a great time, laughing and smiling and getting excited. And then I look at her now and it looks like she drowned in the Kool-aid.

I really wish some type of scandal could break out so they pull the show off the air. And then maybe the older kids could start doing interviews and expose Jim Boob and MEchelle for what they are.

But at the same time I know that has the potential to really ruin some of their lives.

[BitterApple]

There are many other kids in that house who could've baby sat.

And it's not like they have infants or babies who need experienced supervision. Jed and Jer are what, 16 now? They could have watched the younger kids. I'm sure JD and Joseph could have cared less about going to dinner, but Jana and Jinger likely would have wanted to be included.

[Joe Jitsu913]

I think Jana has been beaten into submission, physically and emotionally. She's the eldest daughter, so she was the first daughter to wait on her family, hand and foot. I do think Michelle envies Jana because Jana is a better "mother" than Michelle ever was. Jana is very nurturing and good with children.

I wonder if Michelle has some kind of mental illness that impairs her ability to interact with her kids. Like a disassociative disorder where Michelle is in her "happy place ", thus Jana has to pick up the slack. IDK, but its just a theory. Perhaps Michelle is just lazy as fuck.

Edited December 31, 2014 by Joe Jitsu913

[3girlsforus]

There are many other kids in that house who could've baby sat.

 

Yes but my guess is that they don't even think that way. You need a babysitter to take over when the person in charge is not there. Their setup means that Jana and Jinger are in charge all the time so when Michelle leaves they don't even think about needing someone to take over. 

[MJDai]

 

I think Jana has been beaten into submission, physically and emotionally. She's the eldest daughter, so she was the first daughter to wait on her family, hand and foot. I do think Michelle envies Jana because Jana is a better "mother" than Michelle ever was. Jana is very nurturing and good with children.

I think Jana more than her sisters was pressed into the mould her parents needed her to be in. No one in that house has, or so it seems, ever considered Jana's needs and in that house, it's normal! Her skills, with children and the cooking and sowing and whatnot, are what she HAD to become good at. Without any consideration of what she would be inclined to become skilled at...

And as she was not allowed to be friends with her brothers her bestie had to be Jill. I think out of self-defence Jill became the Good Girl (i.e. snitch and line-tower) but that leaves even less room for Jana to develop her own personality. And hey, even if she tried to be a Good Girl too it wouldn't get noticed because everything Jana does is taken for granted.

So I don't think Michelle is jealous of Jana's mothering skills... I think that to Michele Jana isn't really a person in her own right. *sigh* Poor Jana.

[cmr2014]

I wonder if Jana even remembers being happy. I know that sounds melodramatic but none of the older kids ever smile genuine smiles, and they never laugh. The comparison was shocking in the recent episode with Famy -- she's running around happy and laughing, the others just star at her like she's a martian. Then they cut to a talking head with Jana robotically saying "making memories."

 

When the older girls paste on those fake smiles:

Jana looks sad,

Jill looks kool-aide drunk

Jessa looks angry

Jinger looks normal -- like she has pasted on the fake smile and wears it regularly. Almost like there is no connection in her mind between smiling and happiness.

Joy-Anna -- see Jana

 

I think that's what made the Jill/Derick courtship and marriage so charming -- they both seemed so happy.

 

I hope something happens for Jana soon. 

 

I also think that if JB wants to keep the show going, he needs to marry off the older kids. It's depressing to watch adult children caring for their siblings and robotically parroting the same platitudes over and over. It's just not good TV.

[GEML]

Jana and Jinger may not want to go out with the married couples. If it includes hearing all about having babies and hearing about the best times to get pregnant, I know I would rather stay home.

[3girlsforus]

Jana and Jinger may not want to go out with the married couples. If it includes hearing all about having babies and hearing about the best times to get pregnant, I know I would rather stay home.

 

Good point. That would bug me too. I wish I knew that Jana and Jinger get a chance to go out and do fun stuff without parents and/or little kids. We don't ever see that. 

[maraleia]

Trying not to be the spoilsport here but I've had to delete a number of posts that weren't about Jana. We've asked all of you multiple times to post things in the appropriate threads.

[Temperance]

Jana and Jinger may not want to go out with the married couples. If it includes hearing all about having babies and hearing about the best times to get pregnant, I know I would rather stay home.

me too!

I get a lot of this from the fundie lite friends. Plus hearing about how great it is to be in love. 

But on the other hand, it may have to do with how many people fit in the car? One reason not to have 19 kids is gas prices and having to have a seat for every person. It didn't look like there was room to spare on the quadruple date, especially with two pregnant ladies. 

There may not have been room for Jana. 

Edited January 2, 2015 by Temperance

[Barb23]

With all the vehicles in the Duggar fleet, Jana & Jinger could have driven themselves or they could have all fit in one of their bigger vans. Boob has plenty of $$$ to spring for gas.

[CarolMK]

The one good thing about the show continuing to air is that the single adults like Jana will be a part of it and the audience will wonder about what's going on with her. If she continues to remain single, Jim Bob may feel that he has to either come up with a suitor that she likes or find an approved career path for her that is acceptable to their faith. If it lasts 5 more years, Jana will be approaching 30 and the need to mother the little ones won't really be there anymore. Somebody has to be in charge of homeschooling but it will probably only be the youngest 5 who are still learning at home by then. Some of the other siblings will be married and then what will Jana have to do all day if she doesn't have a job, besides cook, clean and do laundry? 

[dillpickles]

The one good thing about the show continuing to air is that the single adults like Jana will be a part of it and the audience will wonder about what's going on with her. If she continues to remain single, Jim Bob may feel that he has to either come up with a suitor that she likes or find an approved career path for her that is acceptable to their faith. If it lasts 5 more years, Jana will be approaching 30 and the need to mother the little ones won't really be there anymore. Somebody has to be in charge of homeschooling but it will probably only be the youngest 5 who are still learning at home by then. Some of the other siblings will be married and then what will Jana have to do all day if she doesn't have a job, besides cook, clean and do laundry?

She could be like that moody girl and write books.

(Preferably tell all books)

[Fuzzysox]

Jana got swapped out with Jinger and now Jinger is helping Boob Jr. and Anna with their kids. LOL at the title of this article. They can't even get a simple fact straight.

 

http://radaronline.com/photos/more-baby-bumps-counting-expectant-mother-anna-duggar-grabs-lunch-with-sister-jinger-in-fort-washington/photo/845395/

[Mrsjumbo]

Jinger is showing some knee! Where's Me'chelle's black bar?

[DoctorWhovian]

Jinger looks like a normal girl in those pictures. No hint of the crazy prairie dress days.

[BitterApple]

Jinger looks adorable in that picture, her outfit is one that you'd see any 20-something girl wearing. I also like Anna's houndstooth coat, but boy, that poor girl really puffs up with pregnancy, doesn't she?

[Mrsjumbo]

My gosh, somehow I managed twins + 1 on my own without having to have a sibling step in & help all of the time!

[dillpickles]

Jinger looks like she was struggling though. Maybe she's there for child training!

[cereality]

Have they ever said what the "rules" are re the girls? I know they can't go out alone, but it seems like they are definitely allowed to go out together. I mean I feel like Jana has gone all the way to DC without a brother in tow, so I imagine she can go out for 90 min in town esp during the day. I realize she's on duty a lot, but not all the time -- why don't see and Jinger hit up the local coffee house either together or with Amy say on a Saturday afternoon? Not only does it get them out of the house, but in places where they can go and sit around -- if they become regulars, they will meet other young people. I'm not saying this as someone who would go into a coffee house and chat with people, but when I lived in the south -- I feel like people were more inclined to chat PLUS they're quasi celebrities in NW Arkansas due to being on TV for 10 yrs so I feel like people would want to chat with them just because of that PLUS Amy seems like the type how can strike up a conversation with anyone. It's a good way to get away from the 5 yr olds tugging at them, and also not inconceivable that one or both of them could meet a cute boy. While they may not meet a fundie, it's very likely given the area that he'd at least be a conservative Christian and who knows -- if he liked one or wanted to get to know one of them bad enough, he'd accede to JB's ridiculous courtship standards.

 

Hell they don't even have to resort to hoping cute boys notice them, they could pretty much just ask Amy to bring a friend or two her every time -- her boyfriend's friends; her school friends, whatever -- and they'll be set up in no time. Why be miserable at home until JB finds them someone like Josh or JD or Ben, since we know JB hasn't had success in bringing in guys like Chad Paine or John Webster or Law Bates??

[Jynnan tonnix]

I think they have just gotten brainwashed about all the perils out there to the point that the concept of even meeting or chatting with someone of the opposite sex without a plan raises fears of loss of control. And we're not talking about wild sex on the table in the coffee-shop...to them, I think there is just as much fear of the concept of "giving away pieces of their heart" with the natural, totally innocent thrill of bumping knees under the table or brushing arms, fingers, etc, which, at that age can be the stuff of dreams. They have been raised with the notion that having a memory like that about anyone other than the person god has planned for you will be detrimental.

 

I wonder whether either JB or Michelle (or both) have memories of people that they occasionally find themselves wondering about in an "alternative universe" sort of way and, maybe in all honesty, want to spare their kids of the passing thought, ever, that they might have married the wrong person.

 

I could see that as part of their rationale, but the thing is that for virtually anyone, no matter how sheltered or how happily married, I would wager that there are moments when those thoughts come up.

 

[bigskygirl]

Was anyone keeping an eye on Mack?  Jinger is a rebellious child because she wants to go to New York City. Poor Anna needs help her own children. Pull the waaaambulance to your front door and out comes one of your sister-in-laws to help you at your time of need. Seriously...

[cereality]

I think they have just gotten brainwashed about all the perils out there to the point that the concept of even meeting or chatting with someone of the opposite sex without a plan raises fears of loss of control. And we're not talking about wild sex on the table in the coffee-shop...to them, I think there is just as much fear of the concept of "giving away pieces of their heart" with the natural, totally innocent thrill of bumping knees under the table or brushing arms, fingers, etc, which, at that age can be the stuff of dreams. They have been raised with the notion that having a memory like that about anyone other than the person god has planned for you will be detrimental.

 

I wonder whether either JB or Michelle (or both) have memories of people that they occasionally find themselves wondering about in an "alternative universe" sort of way and, maybe in all honesty, want to spare their kids of the passing thought, ever, that they might have married the wrong person.

 

I could see that as part of their rationale, but the thing is that for virtually anyone, no matter how sheltered or how happily married, I would wager that there are moments when those thoughts come up.

True -- at a coffee house with a guy or Amy's friends or whoever, there's a chance that as you sit at little tables, your knees touch or you smile at a cute boy and he sees you. Thing is if JB and Michelle are trying to protect them from ever thinking "what if" -- they should never let them out of the home including for fundie weddings or homeschool conferences. How do they know their daughters don't think of guys they've seen at fundie functions and think to themselves "if only I had talked to him, I'd know his name; if only I had gone to Mama and Daddy and said I prayed about it, maybe we'd be together now."

[3girlsforus]

I don't think the fact that Jana goes to DC without a brother in tow is a sign she is allowed to be out on her own. She's most likely put on the plane by JB and picked up by Josh. In between she's on the plane where I guess she could meet some guy but I'm sure she's been told to keep to herself. That's very different from running around town like a typical young woman in her early 20s. I also suspect that she has to set up a babysitter to be allowed to leave. While Michelle and JB come and go as they please having their older ones to watch the kids, I doubt Jana can just leave and expect Michelle to cover for her. She probably has to arrange it which would mean justifying why she needs to go and telling where she's going... something JB would not approve. 

 

I realize I'm just guessing here so maybe I'm being unreasonable. I do hope I'm wrong.

[3girlsforus]

Anna really needs to take care of her own kids. If she can't handle 4 kids under 5... then don't have 4 kids under 5. Expecting people to keep helping her is selfish. Jinger and Jana seem to have two options... be at home and take care of Michelle's kids or go to Anna's house and take care of her kids. Why don't Anna and Michelle just come out and say Jana and Jinger have no value as people since they aren't married so they can just treat them like property? That's how they treat them.

[GEML]

Let's also keep in mind that Amy wouldn't be a real chaperone for one of the un married girls. In Jim Bob and Michelle's world, although they will never say it on TV, they each have a sibling who really went off the path - a sibling that had a baby before being married and one who is gay. I'm not sure that they think Grandma Duggar is an acceptable chaperone, to tell you the truth.

[Barb23]

I know it was cold out, (I live in Maryland too) but that floor sweeping denim skirt Anna has on drives me bonkers. It's got to be heavy lugging that thing around. It looks like she has boots on, so she could have worn a shorter skirt with tights. I think Jinger looks cute & I do like both of their coats. It looks like they had lunch at Chik-fil-a by the building & cups the kiddos are holding. (I love Chik-fil-a & I know why they go there, but do they ever go to McDonald's?)

[Joe Jitsu913]

Anna really needs to take care of her own kids. If she can't handle 4 kids under 5... then don't have 4 kids under 5. Expecting people to keep helping her is selfish. Jinger and Jana seem to have two options... be at home and take care of Michelle's kids or go to Anna's house and take care of her kids. Why don't Anna and Michelle just come out and say Jana and Jinger have no value as people since they aren't married so they can just treat them like property? That's how they treat them.

Do you think we'll ever see Jim Bob or Michelle helping Anna wrangle her kids voluntarily, out of the goodness of their hearts?

[Betweenyouandme]

I know it was cold out, (I live in Maryland too) but that floor sweeping denim skirt Anna has on drives me bonkers. It's got to be heavy lugging that thing around. It looks like she has boots on, so she could have worn a shorter skirt with tights. I think Jinger looks cute & I do like both of their coats. It looks like they had lunch at Chik-fil-a by the building & cups the kiddos are holding. (I love Chik-fil-a & I know why they go there, but do they ever go to McDonald's?)

Is it possible Chic-fil-a is sponsoring them to be seen with their cups or probably not?

[mimionthebeach]

Jinger looks like she was struggling though. Maybe she's there for child training!

 

Anna looks like she's struggling! Jinger's got Marcus and Anna can't seem to get hold of Michael and Mac is just wandering behind on her own. They're Anna's kids. She's the one who wants the army and she can't wrangle two!

 

To me, Anna seems fine when they're at home, but when they're, out not so much. Lots of moms manage 3 kids without an in-law cavalry. Anna always looks lost.

[lampshades]

I wonder how much of it is Anna asking and needing the help or the sister in laws simply wanting to get away from Arkansas for awhile. It's not like Jana or Jinger have that many opportunities to get away from home like normal young adults.

Edited January 11, 2015 by lampshades

[GEML]

I do think Anna let's her children be themselves, and they are naturally high spirited. Honestly, she looks no different from any other mother in Ft. Washington (or elsewhere in the DC area) with several children. You all must have much better behaved children than we do! :)

[Barb23]

My gosh, somehow I managed twins + 1 on my own without having to have a sibling step in & help all of the time!

I grew up next door to a family when the set of twins was born, there was a 3 yr old & 6 yr old ( my friend, as I was 5 at the time) & the twins were a surprise as this was close to 50 yrs ago. Occasionally my teenage sister & friend would help the mom with the twins, but besides that the mom handled everything without all the live in help like Anna gets. My sister & I were reminiscing about this recently and besides the normal toys laying around, their house was always clean & neat as a pin.  

Is it possible Chic-fil-a is sponsoring them to be seen with their cups or probably not?

Good point, I'm sure at least Chik-fil-a gave them a free lunch when they realized there were Duggars in the house.

[Fuzzysox]

Yes they did go to McDonald's for Josie's 5th birthday because it's her favorite place.

[WTFFF]

Is anyone else cringing at Mackynzie walking across a parking lot with absolutely no adult supervision?  Jinger and Anna are pretty far ahead of her and not even looking at her.  She's still so small - it would be easy for a careless driver to not see her.  Granted, I'm a bit of a worrywart in general. 

[3girlsforus]

I do think Anna let's her children be themselves, and they are naturally high spirited. Honestly, she looks no different from any other mother in Ft. Washington (or elsewhere in the DC area) with several children. You all must have much better behaved children than we do! :)

I don't think her kids look poorly behaved... I think Anna gets (and expects) a lot of help from other people, especially Jana and Jinger. Between the fact that she's always seen with a SIL in tow and she made such a big deal out of going on vacation without help (even though we know she had help there too) it doesn't seem she often cares for her own kids herself. To me she's beginning to look like another Michelle who expects others to be at her beck and call to care for all those kids she's blessed with.

[bigskygirl]

Don't get me started on Anna and her woe is me, I cannot take care of my own children spiel. I have no sympathy for her or Michelle. I also expect the same type of behavior once Jill has more than one kid.

[mimionthebeach]

I don't think her kids look poorly behaved... I think Anna gets (and expects) a lot of help from other people, especially Jana and Jinger. Between the fact that she's always seen with a SIL in tow and she made such a big deal out of going on vacation without help (even though we know she had help there too) it doesn't seem she often cares for her own kids herself. To me she's beginning to look like another Michelle who expects others to be at her beck and call to care for all those kids she's blessed with.

 

This is it. Her kids are well-behaved and don't even seem particularly high-spirited, but she still seems to struggle. She's still in "normal-family-size" territory. What happens if #4 is a real spitfire?

[Fuzzysox]

I doubt that Jana is free when she goes to DC. Didn't Boob Jr.and Anna go out to anniversary dinner as well as other functions while Jana sat home to watch the kids? Poor Jana goes from one prison to another and she can't say NO ever.

[GEML]

But I think we are all using "free" in a non-Duggar sense. Would Jana really enjoy going to Starbucks and being alone? I don't know. We make assumptions about them without any real knowledge about their inner emotional lives, because they've been taught to hide them so well.

[GEML]

I guess I don't see the woe is me in Anna that everyone else does. But then, my mother had three under four as did most of her friends. This is just how I think women of many small children talk, I suppose? They laugh about it as much as anything. (And I grew up with a lot of Catholic families, so eight or nine children was not unusual.)

And I guess I think the Duggar daughters enjoy being in MD at least as much as Anna wants their help. It's clear to me that Anna is very much in love with her husband, and sharing her home with in-laws isn't necessarily an easy thing to do. It's never been clear that she was very close to any of her sisters-in-law with the possible exception of Jana.

[jingersrealmom]

I had 4 kids in 7 years in a crappy marriage. I could only have dreamed of having a SIL, friend, hell even a stranger help me out, especially when I just had 3 under the age of 4. Don't know how I did it all those tough years. 1992-2000 is a blur. Anna is very lucky and should be thankful and the adult company probably doesn't hurt either.

[3girlsforus]

But I think we are all using "free" in a non-Duggar sense. Would Jana really enjoy going to Starbucks and being alone? I don't know. We make assumptions about them without any real knowledge about their inner emotional lives, because they've been taught to hide them so well.

I see what you are saying here. We lament that Jana can't do certain things we consider normal for a woman her age but Jana might not even care and be happy with what she's doing. I can see that. But what I wonder is at what point does her being happy with the way it is not matter? I know that sounds strange but I'll try to explain. Even putting the dating thing aside, to us a normal woman her age would be getting a job, an apartment, making friends, maybe taking classes if she hasn't going to college before. She would be preparing for her own life. But that's not an option at all for Jana. She has been taught since birth that women don't do that. She belongs to JB until she belongs to her husband. To make it worse, she's taught that this is what Christian women who love God are expected to do. So here she is. If she wants any kind of freedoms how can she reconcile that with what she's been taught? And since she knows she can't do any of the things we might think she wants to do, it seems possible or even likely she'd suppress even the thoughts of that. It's painful to yearn for something you know you can't have and believing it's wrong makes it even more likely she'd just ignore any inklings of desire for freedom she might have. 

 

All that to say that maybe Jana says she's happy. Maybe she is happy. Maybe she doesn't want to live on her own or go to Starbucks or do anything besides take care of her siblings and Anna's kids while she waits for JB to decide on a guy for her. But it's still bad. If she chose that life knowing she has other options that don't affect her salvation or the love and support of her parents then I'd wonder why but I could respect it. But she has no options and therefore isn't free. 

[GEML]

Except that there are people who don't think in terms of happiness. They think in terms of contentment, satisfaction, duty, and yes, even sacrifice. And they find real pleasure in these emotions, the way many of us do in freedom and happiness. I dare say that most of human history was the former, not the latter. So while Jana might not feel happiness as you and I might define it, that doesn't have to mean that her lack of happiness means she is UNhappy.

She's had plenty of people to model another life around - far more than most fundamentalists in her world are exposed to. Yet she has chosen to stay. She can see that many of her own siblings (married or not) push boundaries and their parents aren't lashing out at them. But she doesn't push. Were these things beaten out of her? Maybe. But it's just as likely that she's made her own choices for her own reasons, which might not be reasons we would even accept, but she can. But lots of people (priests, nuns, certain military people, first responders, certain doctors, etc) really do have a radical belief in service for others. Maybe Jana does too.

[Guest]

But I think we are all using "free" in a non-Duggar sense. Would Jana really enjoy going to Starbucks and being alone? I don't know. We make assumptions about them without any real knowledge about their inner emotional lives, because they've been taught to hide them so well.

I don't think they're taught to hide their inner emotional lives as much as they're taught not to have inner emotional lives.  They aren't taught to act sweet; they are taught to be sweet.  Thinking angry thoughts is wrong.  The reality is it turns them into almost Stepford Wives.

[3girlsforus]

That's very true. I have known lots of people like that and haven't though twice about it. Of course whether it was true or not I always assumed those people came to their life/career choice on their own as adults rather than it being a forgone conclusion from the womb. Jana does see mild rebellion from some siblings but nothing of any significance until they are married. Besides, being the oldest girl will make it harder on her. Her complete commitment allows some of the others to spread their wings (at least as much as a Duggar can). Until I see one of the girls move out of JB's home without a husband I won't be convinced they truly are supported as people. 

 

I really do hope that Jana is happy, content, satisfied... whatever we want to call it. I hope that even if she had been told she could do anything she wanted she would still choose to do what she's doing. 

[Sew Sumi]

Well, today she turns 25. I hope she gets whatever it is someone in her position can realistically wish for (although we know it's a prayer, not a wish). I hope that means that she passes the computer passwords along to Jinger and Joy and relinquishes some of the other myriad responsibilities she holds, things her MOTHER should be doing. Then again, I guess Jana disciplines the smaller kids because Mechelle is never around to do it herself. 

[Darknight]

25 and still ma and pa won't give her a break. At 25 Michelle was a mom, married and got to make her own choices. I hope Jana isn't the next Sarah Maxwell. I hope Jana and her twin enjoyed their birthday.

[Barb23]

25 and still ma and pa won't give her a break. At 25 Michelle was a mom, married and got to make her own choices. I hope Jana isn't the next Sarah Maxwell. I hope Jana and her twin enjoyed their birthday.

Hopefully they got their "Birthday lunch" at somewhere better than McDonald's. This is if Boob & MEchelle could fit them in their busy schedule. Throw in a couple of bags of candy (since MEchelle knows what her kids like) and call it a day.