S34: Jeff Varner

[Guest]

I'm not sure he meant trans=liar anymore than if he outed him for being a pro quarterback that'd mean quarterback=liar.  

[MissEwa]

16 minutes ago, Sugar said:

I'd have more respect for him if he stopped hiding behind his "I have trans friends, I'm an activist" stance, and admitted to having personal biases against Zeke, or against trans people in general.

Saying something shitty doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone says stupid shit they wish they could take back. What makes Varner a bad person in my eyes, is that if he was truly contrite and apologetic, he'd stop defending himself. There's no need to remind people that you're an LGBT ally, that you were in a game, that you feel awful, blah blah. Own up to your bullshit and admit that there may be some confused feelings there. Being prejudiced or biased doesn't make someone an asshole - you can't help those feelings. But choosing to do nothing about it, and denying your prejudices - that's what makes you an asshole.

This. I think there are lots of people who would honestly consider themselves allies of marginalised groups but actually still hold prejudices. That old 'I'm all for LGBT rights and I have a lot of gay friends and I love gay people but those two guys shouldn't make out like that in public because it makes some people - not me! - uncomfortable' or 'I'm all for equal rights for women and am a huge supporter of feminism but people would be more symapthetic if they weren't so ANGRY!' thing. They support the cause so long as the people they support are acting in a way they're okay with. Varner may consider himself an ally to trans people but actually have some fucked-up feelings where he sees choosing to keep their status a secret as a form of deception. Maybe all of his trans friends are out and proud and he thinks that's the right way to be? I don't know. But yeah - most of what I'm getting in his interviews today is 'I feel terrible and I'm sorry and I did a terrible thing... BUT--' 

Edited April 14, 2017 by MissEwa

[violet and green]

It's human nature to want to defend yourself, and to explain yourself in the hopes people will understand and see where you were coming from.

http://ew.com/tv/2017/04/13/survivor-jeff-varner-zeke-transgender-game-changer/

I find the show more reprehensible for deciding to broadcast that footage.

[Sugar]

7 minutes ago, MissEwa said:

Varner may consider himself an ally to trans people but actually have some fucked-up feelings where he sees choosing to keep their status a secret as a form of deception. Maybe all of his trans friends are out and proud and he thinks that's the right way to be? I don't know. But yeah - most of what I'm getting in his interviews today is 'I feel terrible and I'm sorry and I did a terrible thing... BUT--' 

Yes, EXACTLY!! Totally agree with your entire statement.

Personally, I consider myself extremely open-minded.  But sometimes I find myself asking randomly out of the blue, "is that a woman or a man" when I see an androgynous person on the street, and it always stops me cold. It's not a conscious thing, and it's something I hate admitting to. Sometimes we want to believe we're open-minded, supportive, accepting, etc. but we can still have traces of our upbringing, conditioning, etc. lingering in the back of our head. And if you don't allow yourself to explore those feelings, and reflect on them, then you're never going to evolve. Varner can be gay AND have trans-phobic thoughts and feelings; ones he may not even be aware of.  Even if his rationale was that trans people should be out and proud, that's still highly problematic, and also indicates a bias towards Zeke, a privately out trans man. So, anyway you look at it - there IS something there.
And until he admits NOT that he made a mistake, but that he acted out of prejudice, I think most people will hold him accountable.

[simplyme]

4 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

No one owes anyone else their medical history and Sierra isn't being "deceitful" by not telling everyone her eyebrows are tattooed and might at any moment metamorphous into caterpillers. We can speculate but it's not our right to know or her duty to tell us.

Thank you. I needed this giggle today. :)

[Sugar]

31 minutes ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

I'm not sure he meant trans=liar anymore than if he outed him for being a pro quarterback that'd mean quarterback=liar.  

IMO, you're missing the point. Allies of the trans community wouldn't see a transition as being something to lie about. The "lie" is the gender your were born with, the one you left behind. There's no "lie" in transitioning, because you're actually becoming the person you were supposed to be. There are many political, social, economical, etc. reasons that trans people don't "out" themselves, but another reason is they don't feel like they have anything to disclose. It's as if a woman always introduces herself to others by saying, "hello, I'm Sugar, and I'm a woman". Straight, cis gendered people don't do it, so why should a trans person  be expected to?
Not telling someone you're a pro quarterback is withholding the truth. Or lying if you're asked and you deny it. Not telling someone you're transgendered, is not witholding anything, because there's literally nothing to whithold. If Varner was a true ally, he would see that.

(I don't speak on behalf of the whole trans community, just my personal experiences and interactions)

[303420]

1 hour ago, MissEwa said:

This. I think there are lots of people who would honestly consider themselves allies of marginalised groups but actually still hold prejudices.

We ALL hold prejudices. I'm a pansexual queer Latina who is straight-married to a straight white cis dude, and I'm loaded with prejudices. Pretending one has no prejudices is, IMO, a much bigger ignorance than acknowledging them. 

I don't see any value in deciding that Varner is permanently blacklisted from decent society. He was an ally. He fucked up, probably exposing some internal prejudices. He seems truly contrite to me, and he can learn. 

[MissEwa]

5 minutes ago, 303420 said:

We ALL hold prejudices. I'm a pansexual queer Latina who is straight-married to a straight white cis dude, and I'm loaded with prejudices. Pretending one has no prejudices is, IMO, a much bigger ignorance than acknowledging them. 

I don't see any value in deciding that Varner is permanently blacklisted from decent society. He was an ally. He fucked up, probably exposing some internal prejudices. He seems truly contrite to me, and he can learn. 

For sure. To clarify: I don't think that either. I do genuinely think he's sorry and has learned a lot, but his attitude in some of his interviews gives me pause. There's a little too much blaming editing and over-explaining and casting suspicion on Zeke's stance, IMO. 

And yep to the prejudices - we all have them. I know I do. It's more Jeff's reaction when facing his own prejudices seems to be to deny that it's even possible that he has any. 

[Guest]

10 hours ago, Sugar said:

Not telling someone you're a pro quarterback is withholding the truth. Or lying if you're asked and you deny it. Not telling someone you're transgendered, is not witholding anything, because there's literally nothing to whithold.

In most of life, yes.  I think there are times in life when it should be disclosed, like with intimate partners.  And in the game, it could be used as a resume point at final tribal.  Not that it SHOULD be disclosed in the game.  But it could matter there, unlike in say a workplace.

[303420]

3 hours ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

In most of life, yes.  I think there are times in life when it should be disclosed, like with intimate partners.  

Naked fun time friends! That's the language Zeke used in his essay and I'm totally going to use it all the time now. 

[truthaboutluv]

12 hours ago, MissEwa said:

We ALL hold prejudices. I'm a pansexual queer Latina who is straight-married to a straight white cis dude, and I'm loaded with prejudices. Pretending one has no prejudices is, IMO, a much bigger ignorance than acknowledging them. 

I don't see any value in deciding that Varner is permanently blacklisted from decent society. He was an ally. He fucked up, probably exposing some internal prejudices. He seems truly contrite to me, and he can learn. 

Yes, we all hold prejudices and one of the best ways I believe to be better is to acknowledge that. I've always believed that progress cannot happen if people can't even have a conversation. It's like some of the reactions to the Black Lives Matter movement. I read so many conversations from white people who immediately went on the defensive the second "white privilege" was uttered and it was "oh so every white person is a racist" and "oh black people are always making it a black thing" etc . And my feeling was nothing will ever change when people are so frightened of just even acknowledging that bias and stereotypes and prejudices do exist. 

But in my opinion, that's not the issue here with what Varner did. It wasn't that he made an off-hand offensive comment. It's that he plotted and planned to expose something very personal about Zeke that he knows can be very damaging to a person based on others' prejudice, all to win a million dollars. It wasn't just that Varner suggested the idea that Zeke not being open about his gender identity to some people he's playing a game with who are essentially strangers, must mean he's deceitful because honestly, I don't think he truly believed that.

It's that he saw it as a weapon to use against Zeke and a game ploy. That's what makes what Varner did so disgusting and awful. It's that he showed there truly was no low he wasn't going to go for a million dollars. That he played with someone's life to get a few more days in the game. He was malicious and vindictive. Prejudice wasn't the issue here for me. For me it was the malice.

[Daisy]

Jeff got fired from his job (I think that was a given, knowing how most workplaces handle these things). 
I have to say. I am feeling rather sorry for him. I also read that he felt suicidal after this entire thing went down and he was rather passionate about his career. It doesn't negate what he did, but I do feel some empathy towards Varner too. 

 

seriously living reminder to be careful what you say. 

[LadyChatts]

I believe Varner can bounce back from this, and I hope he also has a support team around him, just like Zeke.  I also heard he was suicidal and been in therapy every since.  I just think it was a serious lapse in judgement.  I'm not going to get into what prejudices he may or may not have, or what I think he should be saying/doing, because I'm not him and have never been in this position.  I have said some stupid things in my day, but never in front of 8+ million people thank goodness.  I really don't think he's a bad or bigoted person.  

I do really question the events surrounding this.  He said he didn't know that Zeke was trans, but why would he go there if he wasn't 100% sure?  Something about this whole thing is just weird.  

[Daisy]

43 minutes ago, LadyChatts said:

I believe Varner can bounce back from this, and I hope he also has a support team around him, just like Zeke.  I also heard he was suicidal and been in therapy every since.  I just think it was a serious lapse in judgement.  I'm not going to get into what prejudices he may or may not have, or what I think he should be saying/doing, because I'm not him and have never been in this position.  I have said some stupid things in my day, but never in front of 8+ million people thank goodness.  I really don't think he's a bad or bigoted person.  

I do really question the events surrounding this.  He said he didn't know that Zeke was trans, but why would he go there if he wasn't 100% sure?  Something about this whole thing is just weird.  

 

that's... why I kind of wish Ross, or Rob or someone would interview him and just ask some questions

1: if you didn't know why did you come out (no pun intended) as aggressive as you did? like what if you were wrong?!
2: did you truly honestly think that would make people be team Varner?

[LadyChatts]

I'm wondering if they're not allowed.  Maybe they want this to be a Varner apology tour and not have it be more damaging than it already is, with revealing info that might shed everything in a different light.  I wonder if he did in fact know, but is now lying about it, or if someone doing his TH slipped up. 

I really don't know what he was thinking in regards to how he expected everyone to react, especially since he's a gay man.  If someone outed him as gay, would he think that person would expect everyone to rally to their side?  I don't know.  And I don't think we'll ever really know.

Edited April 14, 2017 by LadyChatts

[Guest]

56 minutes ago, LadyChatts said:

He said he didn't know that Zeke was trans, but why would he go there if he wasn't 100% sure?

I don't think you need to be 100% sure of things out there.  People freely theorized that Brett was a cop and all kinds of things based on evidence.  It sounds like Jeff was probably more than 95% sure.  

And it could be that Andrea knew from her People job and didn't tell Jeff he was wrong.  Had she interviewed Zeke before playing with him?  Didn't she say she knew him before?  

[LadyChatts]

1 minute ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

I don't think you need to be 100% sure of things out there.  People freely theorized that Brett was a cop and all kinds of things based on evidence.  It sounds like Jeff was probably more than 95% sure.  

And it could be that Andrea knew from her People job and didn't tell Jeff he was wrong.  Had she interviewed Zeke before playing with him?  Didn't she say she knew him before?  

Zeke and Andrea did know each other before.  They participated in some local Survivor thing in NYC where I believe they were teamed up.  So she might have known then. 

[TaylorTalk]

On ‎2017‎-‎04‎-‎13 at 1:42 AM, Nashville said:

I kept hearing in the back of my head a line frequently quoted in Blue Bloods: "No matter good a life you might try to live, you may sometimes find yourself being forever judged by your last worst act."

That's not a show I'm really interested in.  Tom Sellick?  Not my thing.  That's some clunky writing.

I think the better example is ye ol' joke that starts with:

"A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.

The Old Man says, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months...."

It's a crude joke so I'm not sure if I should post it, but it's easily searchable online.

[Silver Raven]

Varner said CBS provided therapy afterwards for both him and Zeke.

http://www.greensboro.com/blogs/gotriad_extra/greensboro-s-jeff-varner-faces-backlash-after-outing-fellow-survivor/article_1d75e724-08cc-5fbb-826f-72e6ac9ecaa3.html

[leighdear]

On 4/12/2017 at 9:17 PM, JudyObscure said:

 He's going to be hated by millions of people and that's so many more than most of us have to face after we've said something wrong.

He won't be hated by Zeke if that revelation propels Zeke to the finals and he wins with pity votes.   I don't think that's an impossible outcome. 

[EVS]

8 hours ago, truthaboutluv said:

Yes, we all hold prejudices and one of the best ways I believe to be better is to acknowledge that. I've always believed that progress cannot happen if people can't even have a conversation. It's like some of the reactions to the Black Lives Matter movement. I read so many conversations from white people who immediately went on the defensive the second "white privilege" was uttered and it was "oh so every white person is a racist" and "oh black people are always making it a black thing" etc . And my feeling was nothing will ever change when people are so frightened of just even acknowledging that bias and stereotypes and prejudices do exist. 

But in my opinion, that's not the issue here with what Varner did. It wasn't that he made an off-hand offensive comment. It's that he plotted and planned to expose something very personal about Zeke that he knows can be very damaging to a person based on others' prejudice, all to win a million dollars. It wasn't just that Varner suggested the idea that Zeke not being open about his gender identity to some people he's playing a game with who are essentially strangers, must mean he's deceitful because honestly, I don't think he truly believed that.

It's that he saw it as a weapon to use against Zeke and a game ploy. That's what makes what Varner did so disgusting and awful. It's that he showed there truly was no low he wasn't going to go for a million dollars. That he played with someone's life to get a few more days in the game. He was malicious and vindictive. Prejudice wasn't the issue here for me. For me it was the malice.

This is the way I perceived it also.

[Nashville]

19 hours ago, qqererer said:

That's not a show I'm really interested in.  Tom Sellick?  Not my thing.  That's some clunky writing.

I think the better example is ye ol' joke that starts with:

"A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.

The Old Man says, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months...."

It's a crude joke so I'm not sure if I should post it, but it's easily searchable online.

I expect you're talking about this one...?  

Yup - different route, same destination.  ;>

[ByaNose]

Varner got fired from his job. He was working for a real estate company:

http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/jeff-varner-fired-from-job-after-outing-zeke-smith-as-transgender-on-survivor-21826.php

[DEL901]

19 hours ago, leighdear said:

He won't be hated by Zeke if that revelation propels Zeke to the finals and he wins with pity votes.   I don't think that's an impossible outcome. 

More likely Zeke's lost any chance of winning because there is no chance anyone is letting him get to the finals just in case what you say is true.

And even if Zeke were to win (which I can't believe he will because no one is going to take a chance and let him get to the finals), there are still a lot of anti-trans crazies out there he will now have to deal with... I remember when Chaz Bono was on DWTS.  The vitriol directed at him, including those saying he needed to kill himself, was truly disturbing.

[leighdear]

The people on the island are in an enclosed environment.  And from the last moment of tribal council ONLY Zeke has a story to tell.

Varner is gone and they are cut off from anybody that can contradict Zeke.  He can say anything and the group has no way of disproving it. He can spin the situation any way he wants.  We have no clue what happened almost a year ago.  

The upcoming merge will assure every single person on the island learns why Varner is gone, and I think every shred of sympathy, empathy and pity will go to Zeke.  Because HE now controls the narrative.  His "story" is the ONLY one that will get told. 

[legaleagle53]

3 hours ago, leighdear said:

The people on the island are in an enclosed environment.  And from the last moment of tribal council ONLY Zeke has a story to tell.

Varner is gone and they are cut off from anybody that can contradict Zeke.  He can say anything and the group has no way of disproving it. He can spin the situation any way he wants.  We have no clue what happened almost a year ago.  

The upcoming merge will assure every single person on the island learns why Varner is gone, and I think every shred of sympathy, empathy and pity will go to Zeke.  Because HE now controls the narrative.  His "story" is the ONLY one that will get told. 

That's assuming that it will even BE told.  Remember that half of the other castaways will only know that Varner was voted out -- they'll have no idea WHY he was voted out, and there's no reason for Zeke or anyone else to tell them.  So it may never come up at all at final tribal council if Zeke makes it there.

[leighdear]

I honestly cannot believe that every single member of whatever tribe Varner was on is going to keep the whole thing a secret.  To not let any or all of the story slip out is something I'll have to see to believe.  

Information, real or manufactured, is currency in that game, and everybody wants as big a stack as possible.    Somebody's gonna talk, I'm convinced of it. 

[LadyChatts]

What I'm thinking is Zeke decides to just tell everyone, so it doesn't slip out or be used by someone else.  Given the reaction the rest of the tribe had towards Varner, however, and knowing the backlash he was going to likely receive as a result, I really don't think anyone will let the cat out of the bag.  

[Fiftyninth]

On 4/13/2017 at 8:25 PM, MissEwa said:

Maybe all of his trans friends are out and proud and he thinks that's the right way to be?

You know, maybe the "out and proud" ones are the ones he "knows about," and maybe he has other friends who happen to be trans who haven't shared that with him - and maybe he didn't "figure it out" in their cases - how would he even know? (Presumably not all his FTM friends go around topless the way Zeke did at times.) It's sure not for him to decide whether someone should be "out" about their gender history.

I think it was valuable to be reminded by other posters on the episode thread that transitioning is the act of coming out as your authentic self - presenting as male is Zeke being truthful, not Zeke being deceptive.

Lastly, I believe Jeff is regretful, but I don't believe he is contrite. He is far too self-serving with his justifications and excuses for me to find his apology tour sincere enough to redeem him.

Edited April 16, 2017 by Fiftyninth
Fixed typo ("to" vs. "too")

[cooksdelight]

Today is Jeff's birthday. I cannot imagine what thoughts are going through his mind. I'm worried about him.

[leighdear]

1 hour ago, cooksdelight said:

Today is Jeff's birthday. I cannot imagine what thoughts are going through his mind. I'm worried about him.

I'm with you.  I hope he has a strong emotional support system and stays far away from social media. 

[peachmangosteen]

8 hours ago, LadyChatts said:

What I'm thinking is Zeke decides to just tell everyone, so it doesn't slip out or be used by someone else. 

I think he will, too.

8 hours ago, Fiftyninth said:

Lastly, I believe Jeff is regretful, but I don't believe he is contrite. He is far to self-serving with his justifications and excuses for me to find his apology tour sincere enough to redeem him.

I believe he's contrite, but I do agree that he has gone too far with the explanations, justifications, and excuses. I do think it's understandable to want to do that though, especially in this situation when we as an audience truly do not have all the information. But still he needed to stop explaining and just be apologetic because he's said so much at this point that a lot of it doesn't track and it's just making him seem like a liar. But in any case, I still do truly believe he's sorry about what he did and that his intentions weren't evil so much as stupid and selfish. I hope he can move on from this.

Edited April 16, 2017 by peachmangosteen

[Stinamaia]

I have many conflicting feelings about all this and am very sorry it happened at all.  As for Jeff Varner, I feel it's like having a friend doing something bad.  I can't excuse the behavior, but I feel very sorry that he made this choice and sorry he must bear the consequences even though some of them are just consequences.  It's very difficult to come to terms with someone making this decision when every aspect of it was wrong. Even if everyone except the tribe mates knew Zeke was trans, it was a markedly wrong decision stragecially and ethically.  I do think there was malice in that Varner was upset that Zeke had pretended to bond with him and lied to him.  If Varner had really been trying to get Ozzie out, he needed to focus on the Ozzie threat with Zeke using Ozzie as a shield to the detriment of others in the tribe.   

Im glad that CBS is providing Varner with psychological help.  I think he needs it even now.

i am sorry that everyone coming out of the show will now have to answer questions about Zeke's identity.  Varner has created a tempest that even the non-participants are drawn into despite anything else that happens in the game.  I am so sorry that someone as smart as Varner could not foresee the consequences of his decision.  I can't believe he would have done it if he had foreseen everything.  And I say this with the hypothetical that Zeke was out to everybody not on the show which isn't a reasonable conjecture.

Edited April 16, 2017 by Stinamaia

[Guest]

I don't think Jeff needs to sit silent and not try to explain himself.  But I feel like he should know better than to do a poor job of it.  He's had 10 months to work out what he can and can't say.  This is his third time playing and he worked in the media.  He made asshole comments after last season in the media, too, but just not many people were listening.  

[cooksdelight]

Jeff's in a no-win situation. I know from talking to people who have been on this show that it's the most stressful situation they've ever been in. Imagine wondering 24/7 if people are lying to you, if they are going to turn on you, and you have no one to talk to that you know is being 100% honest. I couldn't do it. And because CBS heavily edits the show you never get a true image of the players. Everyone hated Abi, but I know the person who's not on TV and she'd give you her right arm if you needed it. She donated the clothes off her back she wore on the show so I could auction them for the American Cancer Society. Didn't hesitate. I am worried about Jeff's mental state right now. I've offered him what I can, but he needs to know that he's not a monster. Because that's what he's feeling right now.

[Artsda]

Not surprised he lost his job. I hope he's able to get another one.

I wonder if he'll be at the live reunion show. 

[Wings]

6 minutes ago, Artsda said:

Not surprised he lost his job. I hope he's able to get another one.

I wonder if he'll be at the live reunion show. 

Probably in his contract that he has to show up.  He may be hoping he can clear his name (to some extent) by having Zeke speak in his favor.  I have no clue if this will happen but you know that is on the top of his wish list.  

[ByaNose]

6 minutes ago, wings707 said:

Probably in his contract that he has to show up.  He may be hoping he can clear his name (to some extent) by having Zeke speak in his favor.  I have no clue if this will happen but you know that is on the top of his wish list.  

They also have to show up if they want to get paid. I think that part of their contact, too. You have to do the live reunion to get your check. He might need it now. Here was a list from a few years ago. I'm not sure if it's higher or not for an All-Star Season:

20 Players
1st: $1,000,000 
2nd: $100,000 
3rd: $75,000 
4th: $60,000 
5th: $55,000 
6th: $50,000 
7th: $45,000 
8th: $40,000 
9th: $35,000 
10th: $30,000 
11th: $25,000 
12th: $20,000 
13th: $15,000 
14th: $10,000 
15th: $7,500 
16th: $6,500 
17th: $5,500 
18th: $4,500 
19th: $3,500 
20th: $2,500

Edited April 16, 2017 by ByaNose

[leighdear]

Well, we saw Probst make what appeared to be the executive decision FOR the rest of the tribe to not even vote.  Who there would have stood up & said "No Jeff, we want to vote as usual and give everyone the opportunity to make their own decision."   Or, they did discuss it and we just saw a fragment? (We know they're there a long time).  Probst just looked disgusted & in essence said "Varner, get out". 

If Probst can make those types of decisions, who's to say he may not let Varner off the hook for appearing in the finale?  

The "rules" seem to change every season and for differing circumstances.  I think the contracts can be amended if somebody with enough clout wants them changed.  And I don't think anything that's happened in the past is set in concrete for NOW and especially not going forward.  

[cooksdelight]

I know that challenges have been stopped, reset, and refilmed. There's no telling what really goes on that we never see.

[LadyChatts]

This is why I'm skeptical of a lot of things surrounding this.  Obviously, the only thing not in dispute is what Varner said.  But what led up to it-I don't know, it just doesn't make sense.  I can believe there was some very crafty editing around the whole incident, and I'm still wondering if a cameraman slipped up to Varner.  He'll never be able to tell that.  We'll see what Zeke says when it's his turn to do interviews.

[cooksdelight]

Exactly. Which is why I know he's hurting deeply about this.

[LadyChatts]

Your above post, @cooksdelight, also got me thinking about castaways who said they were able to barter with the cameramen for re-shooting scenes or giving them the moment that they wanted.  Joel Klug said that he knew about the Tagi alliance because a cameraman told him-and in return, he re-shot scenes for him and played up being a macho alpha male in some of his TH and camp scenes.  That was why he was so gung ho about making sure Pagong stayed together after the merge (which he didn't make).  And that was way back in season 1.  Obviously it's Joel's word with nothing to back it up, but he hasn't been the only one through the years to discuss behind the scenes.  And I think of Tasha, who seems like a big fan favorite, but doesn't seem well liked by her fellow castaways, some of whom said she got a generous edit.

Edited April 16, 2017 by LadyChatts

[cooksdelight]

Let's just say that Probst runs his mouth sometimes when he shouldn't and it affects what goes on during challenges.

[jsm1125]

6 hours ago, ByaNose said:

They also have to show up if they want to get paid. I think that part of their contact, too. You have to do the live reunion to get your check. He might need it now. Here was a list from a few years ago. I'm not sure if it's higher or not for an All-Star Season:

20 Players
1st: $1,000,000 
2nd: $100,000 
3rd: $75,000 
4th: $60,000 
5th: $55,000 
6th: $50,000 
7th: $45,000 
8th: $40,000 
9th: $35,000 
10th: $30,000 
11th: $25,000 
12th: $20,000 
13th: $15,000 
14th: $10,000 
15th: $7,500 
16th: $6,500 
17th: $5,500 
18th: $4,500 
19th: $3,500 
20th: $2,500

I'm kind of fascinated that the prize money for anyone coming in 14th all the way through 5th is increased by the same dollar amount ($5,000) as you jump up by one place.

[SixFeetOver]

I don't think Varner is genuinely sorry for doing something wrong. It was calculated, and he seemed to take great pleasure in throwing this supposed missile at Zeke. His reactions at TB were telling as to why he was crying: It was about his image and potential consequences, not guilt. His illogical explanations for his actions (both now and then) contain bold faced lies. He's trying to get out of it, not make amends or really understand his motivations. Also, I think it's gross that he retweeted messages from his fans, expressing how they still love him and feel bad for him. He should have just posted his apology, and nothing more about the incident. I was uncomfortable when Zeke forgave him on the spot, and went out of his way to make Varner feel OK... it was like watching a victim who still wants his bully to like him because he's internalized the guilt and shame.  

Edited April 16, 2017 by SixFeetOver

[CraftyHazel]

I can't hate the man.  He is being raked over the coals on social media, he's lost his job, and he's feeling suicidal...what more do people want from him?  He literally can't say or do anything that will make this all okay, but I do think he's tried and is trying.  What he did was so reprehensible, so nasty...but I think it's what he did, and not who he is.  And I can't help but feel empathy for him...he hurt himself as much as...or maybe even more than...he hurt Zeke.

[LadyChatts]

42 minutes ago, Marmiarmo said:

I can't hate the man.  He is being raked over the coals on social media, he's lost his job, and he's feeling suicidal...what more do people want from him?  He literally can't say or do anything that will make this all okay, but I do think he's tried and is trying.  What he did was so reprehensible, so nasty...but I think it's what he did, and not who he is.  And I can't help but feel empathy for him...he hurt himself as much as...or maybe even more than...he hurt Zeke.

Exactly.  I don't think Varner can win unless he says and admits what people want to hear, even if it's not true.  In reading more interviews regarding this moment, I had thought the show talked with Zeke and he was the one who made the decision to air it.  I should have known the show wouldn't be that courteous, since this is an edited, manipulated, "social experiment", because it basically sounds like they just consulted with Zeke and GLAAD, but would have shown it regardless of what Zeke wanted.  I want to be clear that I don't condone what Jeff did, but I just think there was a lot more to it, and I really don't believe he sat around all day and thought this plan up, regardless of what the show portrayed.  Not that it was any of Jeff's business, but I actually wonder if it slipped to him that Zeke was trans, and he felt more hurt that Zeke didn't let him know, if he felt they had a bond or something.  If Varner didn't know, I don't see how else he could have found out unless someone on production told him. 

I'm wondering how much time they will devote to this at the reunion, and if they'll let Lady GaGa or Cyndi Lauper crash the stage for 10 minutes.  I was already thinking about who was most likely to get ignored anyway.  Between talking to the winner, this, I'm sure Sandra will get some airtime, Malcolm for how he got voted out, and I don't know if JT will be lucky to get a pass on his mistakes this season, I guess pretty much everyone else can just smile pretty and collect their check at the end for showing up.

Edited April 17, 2017 by LadyChatts

[violet and green]

38 minutes ago, LadyChatts said:

If Varner didn't know, I don't see how else he could have found out unless someone on production told him. 

Varner is active in the LGBT community and would be more aware than the average Joe what certain bodily signs indicated. There were clear indications (visible to people watching last season freeze-framing beach scenes), but of course one doesn't categorically know until the subject agrees, as there may be alternate explanations.

[lookingforaname]

From Peih-gee on reddit. Passing along here to humanize Jeff a little more and encourage some level of compassion.  

Quote

Ok everyone - so I wrote a post a few days ago urging everyone to please have love in your hearts for ALL parties involved in the Varner Zeke incident. There was a lot of positive commentary, and even those that still felt very angry and upset were very civil and wonderful in their discussions. I want to thank everyone for your opinion and for speaking from your hearts with love.

Many people have asked me for an update on how Jeff is doing, and they are all worried about him. This is a long post so I hope you can bear with me and read all the way through. Elsewhere I've been seeing a lot of cyber bullying of this man, calling him names, impugning his character, death threats, and making assumptions about him based on a heavily edited TV show. If you've never been cyber bullied, you cannot imagine what it can do to a person. 

I just had a very distressing phone call from Jeff today and he has given me permission to share with you the following story. After his ouster from the show, Jeff was devastated, to say the least. He was horrified at what he did when he outed Zeke, and knew the ramifications it would have on Zeke's life. He's been blaming himself and living with an extremely deep sense of shame over this for the past 10 months. He has been in therapy all this time trying to forgive himself and come to terms with everything. I promise you that no one can punish him more than he's punished himself.

He told me that night was the lowest he had felt, after seeing all the cyber bullying of people publicly shaming him, telling him how horrible he is, how he deserves to die, being fired from his job etc... and he told me that he contemplated something very dark and dangerous to himself. It's only because of the love of his partner there with him that he powered through the night.

I am begging everyone to please give Jeff some compassion, the same compassion you want the world to show to Zeke. We are all humans that make mistakes, some are larger than others but at the end of the day, I hope that we all have room in our hearts to forgive and show love to each other. And just because we have compassion towards Jeff doesn't mean that we don't equally support the travails that Zeke is now facing as well. Please don't do to Jeff what you feared would happen to Zeke.

Edit: Edited to remove a statement that might be misconstrued.