Unpopular Opinions Thread

[ShadowFacts]

43 minutes ago, Katy M said:

I actually find the whole thing kind of weird.  If you have kids that are twins or a year or two apart, a lot of time they will get along well.  But, sometimes they will fight like cats and dogs.  It could go either way.  When you have kids 3 to 5 years apart, they usually just fight like cats and dogs with intervals of getting along well, because the older one is just old enough to boss around the younger one, and the younger one is just younger enough to be annoying.  But, when there's a 10 year age difference, the younger kid usually idolizes the older one, and the older one is usually protective of the younger one.  Obviously, these are not meant to be 100% blanket statements, so there's no need for all those with different experiences to tell me I'm wrong.  I realize that there are many specific situations which don't fit that pattern.  But, I would think for a 6 year old to disdain his 16 year old brother, there would have to be something more than nerdiness.  A 6 year old wouldn't even know what was cool for a teenager at that point.

Another show that I watch has the ten year age difference between brothers, and in their early years it is just as you describe.  The wheels came off and dysfunction ensued for various reasons when the younger one got too much attention and got away with too much shady behavior.  We only have Toby's assessment to go on so far, so it could go any which way.  He really seems to want the Pearsons as brothers so it sounds like he wants a do-over on the brother front.  I wish they'd get these people in the same geographic locale so they can interact more.

[qtpye]

5 hours ago, ShadowFacts said:

Another show that I watch has the ten year age difference between brothers, and in their early years it is just as you describe.  The wheels came off and dysfunction ensued for various reasons when the younger one got too much attention and got away with too much shady behavior.  We only have Toby's assessment to go on so far, so it could go any which way.  He really seems to want the Pearsons as brothers so it sounds like he wants a do-over on the brother front.  I wish they'd get these people in the same geographic locale so they can interact more.

It's funny since my brother was much younger then me, he really had it much easier.  My parents were much more financially secure and mature when he was born and he really never went through the hardships I had.  However, I knew that was not his fault and really loved him to pieces no matter what.  I do understand that some people would be resentful.

[methodwriter85]

13 hours ago, qtpye said:

I actually find the whole thing kind of weird.  If you have kids that are twins or a year or two apart, a lot of time they will get along well.  But, sometimes they will fight like cats and dogs.  It could go either way.

Two of my sisters are very close in age and are actually part of the Big 3's age cohort (one born in January '81 and the second born in April '82) and god they fought like cats and dogs. It really helped when they went to different high schools. Conversely, the older one has twins and they're adorably close 6-year old sisters.

When you have siblings that are that far apart in age (a decade) I think you either get a parent/child role or you get practical strangers. It sounds like Toby had the latter.

They should get plus-size male model Zach Miko to play Toby's little brother.

[qtpye]

1 hour ago, methodwriter85 said:

Two of my sisters are very close in age and are actually part of the Big 3's age cohort (one born in January '81 and the second born in April '82) and god they fought like cats and dogs. It really helped when they went to different high schools. Conversely, the older one has twins and they're adorably close 6-year old sisters.

When you have siblings that are that far apart in age (a decade) I think you either get a parent/child role or you get practical strangers. It sounds like Toby had the latter.

They should get plus-size male model Zach Miko to play Toby's little brother.

Probably true.  Most people say that when I talk about my brother their is an combo of sibling with a  dash of parent vibe to it.  However, Toby said that he was down right rejected by a small child and that is a little strange.

[chocolatine]

28 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Probably true.  Most people say that when I talk about my brother their is an combo of sibling with a  dash of parent vibe to it.  However, Toby said that he was down right rejected by a small child and that is a little strange.

Maybe Toby tried too hard to be his buddy, like he seems to do with everyone else. The thought process from the six-year-old's perspective was probably "this big guy who wants to hang out with me all the time is weird. I'd rather play with the neighbor kid who has a trampoline in his backyard."

[Pallas]

5 hours ago, chocolatine said:

Maybe Toby tried too hard to be his buddy, like he seems to do with everyone else.

Yes, Toby tries too hard. A six-year-old sharing the same house with him might be frightened or viscerally repelled by teen Toby's neediness. Kids -- even more than adults -- often withdraw from someone they can feel is focused on gaining a new proof of their affection, or who constantly demands a reaction from them.

Jack has the same need for reassurance but not the same need for attention. And he wears his need for reassurance with more grace. His intensity seems innate to him: internal more than instrumental. To a kid, I think, teenage Jack would come across as someone who is someone. A capable protector who is also fun.

[laurakaye]

On 3/3/2018 at 11:05 AM, ShadowFacts said:

Another show that I watch has the ten year age difference between brothers, and in their early years it is just as you describe.  The wheels came off and dysfunction ensued for various reasons when the younger one got too much attention and got away with too much shady behavior.  We only have Toby's assessment to go on so far, so it could go any which way.  He really seems to want the Pearsons as brothers so it sounds like he wants a do-over on the brother front.  I wish they'd get these people in the same geographic locale so they can interact more.

LOL, and I find myself thinking the opposite, as in how are they interacting so much when they all live in different states?  I swear I am still not clear on who lives where...Kate and Toby in LA, Kevin also in LA, Randall in New Jersey and Rebecca in Pennsylvania.  That's what I get from reading here.   But I have little to no sense of how they end up hanging out together so easily.  Lots of frequent flyer miles, perhaps?

 

9 hours ago, qtpye said:

Probably true.  Most people say that when I talk about my brother their is an combo of sibling with a  dash of parent vibe to it.  However, Toby said that he was down right rejected by a small child and that is a little strange.

That is strange.  I kind of glossed over it the first time because I was still ticked off that Toby scampered after Kevin and Randall after they acted like the self-absorbed jerks they are, but I also have a sister 10 years younger and agree that the older sibling would have to have acted really odd for a 10 years younger sibling to not want to follow them around and spend time with them.  So are we to assume that Toby has a pretty messed-up past and that's why he has no friends as well as no relationship with his brother?  Or is this just something that sounded good at the time and it'll just be dropped?

[ShadowFacts]

18 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

LOL, and I find myself thinking the opposite, as in how are they interacting so much when they all live in different states?  I swear I am still not clear on who lives where...Kate and Toby in LA, Kevin also in LA, Randall in New Jersey and Rebecca in Pennsylvania.  That's what I get from reading here.   But I have little to no sense of how they end up hanging out together so easily.  Lots of frequent flyer miles, perhaps?

Kevin has recently been staying with Rebecca and Miguel after getting out of rehab, but I don't know if he has ended that and moved back to LA.  They interact on occasions like show tapings, plays, rehab therapy sessions, and now Vegas, but day-to-day, they're on two coasts.  Lots of flying, lots of airports, lots of time off work (if they work), lots of money going to travel.  They're pretty affluent.  It's unwieldy, in real life if would be a strain on most people's finances. 

[PRgal]

3 hours ago, ShadowFacts said:

Kevin has recently been staying with Rebecca and Miguel after getting out of rehab, but I don't know if he has ended that and moved back to LA.  They interact on occasions like show tapings, plays, rehab therapy sessions, and now Vegas, but day-to-day, they're on two coasts.  Lots of flying, lots of airports, lots of time off work (if they work), lots of money going to travel.  They're pretty affluent.  It's unwieldy, in real life if would be a strain on most people's finances. 

Whether Kevin is in LA or not depends on whether he's working there/actively auditioning.  I mean, *IS* he getting auditions, considering he's now known as "Rehab Manny?"  I doubt he will get any kind of work until the Ron Howard movie opens.  And that's ONLY if it's successful! 

[methodwriter85]

3 hours ago, PRgal said:

Whether Kevin is in LA or not depends on whether he's working there/actively auditioning.  I mean, *IS* he getting auditions, considering he's now known as "Rehab Manny?"  I doubt he will get any kind of work until the Ron Howard movie opens.  And that's ONLY if it's successful! 

I'm really confused about Kevin's career. They seem to treat him like he has an endless pit of money but they also seem to say that Kevin's career is really, really shaky. Maybe he did a series of Hallmark Channel movies that were really lucrative or something. Or ads in Japan.

[PRgal]

58 minutes ago, methodwriter85 said:

I'm really confused about Kevin's career. They seem to treat him like he has an endless pit of money but they also seem to say that Kevin's career is really, really shaky. Maybe he did a series of Hallmark Channel movies that were really lucrative or something. Or ads in Japan.

I think The Manny is on syndication (do shows still go on syndication??)/streaming services, so he's getting money from that.

Edited March 5, 2018 by PRgal

[Guest]

4 hours ago, methodwriter85 said:

I'm really confused about Kevin's career. They seem to treat him like he has an endless pit of money but they also seem to say that Kevin's career is really, really shaky. Maybe he did a series of Hallmark Channel movies that were really lucrative or something. Or ads in Japan.

Ha, he’s totally James Van Der Beek.  

I think Rebecca also lives in NJ in present day.  She’s not far from Randall.   

[chocolatine]

4 hours ago, PRgal said:

I think The Manny is on syndication (do shows still go on syndication??)/streaming services, so he's getting money from that.

I think a show needs at least 100 episodes to be eligible for syndication; that's at least four seasons. Also, even if the show is in syndication, Kevin violated his contract by walking out. He may have forfeited any residuals by doing that.

29 minutes ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

I think Rebecca also lives in NJ in present day.   

She does; Kevin confirmed it in the SB episode.

[Katy M]

Quote

And I got you the commercials,
  got you the soaps,
  eventually got you a job paying you
  almost three million dollars a year,
  making you so famous that
you could wear a ski cap
  when it is 80 degrees outside,
  and no one would say a damn thing.

This is what Kevin's agent said to him.  So, if he were on The Manny for at least 3 seasons (and I think he was), that's almost 10 million dollars right there.  That would keep me set for life.  Easy.  As for residuals and his contract, his coming back for that one episode may have been so he could keep his residuals (we know that it lasted another season without him, so I see no reason this show wasn't on at least 4 years).  I doubt he would have done it if they were still suing him and not paying him.  

ETA: He told Randall that the actor who played his best friend was a series regular for four years.  That would presumably mean that Keivn did more than 4 years, so we'll call it 5.  That's almost $15 million dollars.  

Edited March 5, 2018 by Katy M

[PRgal]

34 minutes ago, Katy M said:

This is what Kevin's agent said to him.  So, if he were on The Manny for at least 3 seasons (and I think he was), that's almost 10 million dollars right there.  That would keep me set for life.  Easy.  As for residuals and his contract, his coming back for that one episode may have been so he could keep his residuals (we know that it lasted another season without him, so I see no reason this show wasn't on at least 4 years).  I doubt he would have done it if they were still suing him and not paying him.  
 

In addition, syndication or no syndication, shows are sometimes added to streaming services at the end of the season, so he could have had some money from THAT, even before the walkout.  I'm not sure how good Kevin is at saving/investing though.  He might not have cared to ask Randall or agree to Randall helping him invest.

[methodwriter85]

7 hours ago, PRgal said:

In addition, syndication or no syndication, shows are sometimes added to streaming services at the end of the season, so he could have had some money from THAT, even before the walkout.  I'm not sure how good Kevin is at saving/investing though.  He might not have cared to ask Randall or agree to Randall helping him invest.

I'm just giggling while trying to picture an alternate universe where a 2010's sitcom on NBC could get the kind of money that Kevin was getting, because  NBC sitcom ratings have been in the dumps for a long time. Maybe the show is on CBS and it was getting Big Bang Theory level ratings.

[Katy M]

11 minutes ago, methodwriter85 said:

I'm just giggling while trying to picture an alternate universe where a 2010's sitcom on NBC could get the kind of money that Kevin was getting, because  NBC sitcom ratings have been in the dumps for a long time. Maybe the show is on CBS and it was getting Big Bang Theory level ratings.

Assuming 25 epis a season, it's less than $120,000 an episode.   He's the main character.  It's probably a small supporting cast.  Maybe even just a couple of kids.  Who knows if they show the paretns at all?  That's about what Leah Remini is listed at for Kevin Can Wait, which I don't think is a big hit, so I don't find it that far-fetched.

[chocolatine]

8 hours ago, Katy M said:

This is what Kevin's agent said to him.  So, if he were on The Manny for at least 3 seasons (and I think he was), that's almost 10 million dollars right there.  That would keep me set for life.  Easy. 

The way Kevin spends money his Manny earnings will be gone within a few years. He's always staying at fancy hotels when he's not staying with Randall or Rebecca, leaving big tips, flying all over the country (probably first class), funding an off-Broadway play, going to an upscale rehab facility. He also had Kate on his payroll while he was on The Manny.

[kili]

Quote

Maybe the show is on CBS and it was getting Big Bang Theory level ratings.

The five main actors on the Big Bang Theory were making $1M per episode (Sheldon, Leonard, Penny, Raj and Howard). Seasons usually run 21-22 episodes a year.  In Seasons 8 and 9, the actors playing Raj and Howard had to scrimp by on $750K per episode. This year, the main actors took a $100K cut in pay so that the actors playing Bernadette and Amy could get a pay hike from $100K to $500K. The six adult regulars on Modern Family each earn $500K per episode.

Actors in a successful sitcom can make a lot of money. The longer you are on the air, the better the deal you can negotiate as your rating success outlasts the initial contract you signed. Kevin would probably have had to come in with impressive credits to have gotten $300K an episode in his early days. Either that, or his agent was very good. He seems to get recognized everywhere, so it probably was pretty successful.

According to this article, Mandy and Milo make $85K, Sterling $75K, and Justin and Chrisy $40K.

Edited March 6, 2018 by kili

[potatoradio]

On 3/2/2018 at 8:40 AM, laurakaye said:

Just watched "Vegas, Baby."  And my question is - are we actually supposed to like any of the Pearson kids?

That's a rhetorical, correct? I mean, have you seen other characters (besides the ones in Parenthood) who seem more like antagonists than protagonists? And not fun, evil antagonists. I mean, 'dear god, these people SUCK. Is this the episode where slot machines land on their heads to shut them up? A nice craps stick in the tender parts? Please, let this be the episode that they discover Jack isn't dead at all but couldn't stand them anymore and had to flee to Vegas and hide out as an Elvis impersonator. Please? 

Nope. 

Vegas Baby. Or, The House of Pearson Always Wins Except with Crock Pot Cooking

Deja shows up to ask for just $89 so she can stay warm and maybe have a whole potato for dinner. She asks with the biggest saddest eyes since the Olsen twins on Full House asked if they were in big trouble. Still, I consider the possibility that maybe she’s running a scam on old Hot Dad and is going to guilt him into a credit card and a one-way ticket to somewhere more fun, like Siberia. That would be interesting. But then I remember what show this is. Nevermind.

(They do have two other daughters, but…well, boring.)

Anyway, Beth is all, ‘sad, but it’s Vegas, baby!’ and Randall can’t believe what a monster he’s married. The woman just fronted you money and time to buy a broken down apartment complex so you could get your juices flowing, but a Pearson’s every feeling and thought must be taken as though Moses himself was speaking. Beth, you heretic. This trip won’t end well for her.

Oh, they’re going to Vegas because apparently Tobebabe and Little Miss Sunshine Kate are having their bachelor and bachelorette parties there. Never knew either was a gambler or drawn to the desert or even had a hankering to see M&Ms world, but I’m sure the writers are capable of drawing out the setting theme. Madison is suddenly Kate’s bestie and is trying to plan the whole thing and she seems like fun, if a bit shallow and self-centered, so of course she gets on Tobebabe’s last nerve. Because he has zero friends and wouldn't know fun if it sprang naked and buttered from a hot tub of popcorn. Oh, it's because he played D&D as a kid. Oh. Well, if it’s a bachelor party involving  shopping at the Pawn Stars’ shop for retro D&D outfits? This could be fun. Oh. It isn’t. Tobe-babe’s just whining. Madison, you’re in danger girl, but god love ya for trying.

When you’re a newly recovering alcoholic, apparently, it’s not enough to ask a hotel ahead of time to clear the minibar. Not if you’re a Pearson. The poor housekeeper is stuck with Kevin’s diatribe about how he’s the only one ever to get sober and face down a mini bar at the hotel. This is the hotel’s fault. Also, they should have known to  paper the walls with photos of St. jack and drape necklaces from the ceiling like streamers. That would suit the mood better. A hundred dollars? Fuck you, cheapskate, no minibar costs $100. The Skyy alone costs $85, you sulking has been. Pony up.

Quiz: you are at your bachelorette party. You see your sister in law and brother arguing about one of them being heartless (in front of the striptease stage, no less). If you are a character we are remotely supposed to care about, do you:

A: Say, ‘hey knock it off and check out Doze Nutz!”

B: Drink more with fun Madison and shake your head at those old married sillies as you slurp a melted Snickers out of a diaper.

C: Call out, ‘hey, Beth! Wanna play D&D with the DJ and Mr. LoveNibbles after the show?’

D: Throw your drink on both of them and say, ‘it’s my party. I’ll cry if I want to, but you two need to check yourselves. We’re in Vegas. Not that that matters, but…”

If you’re Kate (such a doll), you do none of the above. No, you decide this is the perfect time to whine about how your brother chooses his wife over you. *needlescratch* Uh, Kate?  Randall is a pain in the ass. You don’t want him to choose you (which, just…ew…). So, Kate then goes to apologize to Beth (whoo! Adulting!) but then immediately turns the apology into yet another pity party for herself. “You’re perfect…I’m not…I feel bad…”So Beth says, “Yeah, I am perfect. Now get out of my room so I can finish this mini bar and what came from Kevin’s.’ No, alas, Beth does not say that. Beth must tell Princess Kate why she isn’t perfect so Kate can feel better about herself. Tobe-babe,  you should look up your brother and forgo trying to marry this sad sack of self pitying doom.  Maybe he and Madison could hook up and buy a house and you guys could play D&D for the rest of your lives. Doesn’t that sound more appealing at this point?

But no. Tobebabe wants brothers to replace the one he sent out to find the Evil Sorcerer in the Dark Forest! He thinks the Pearsons are so cool! They’re like, Luke and Han! And he’s just a Jar Jar understudy.  Look at them go, walking down Vegas, espousing their inner demons  to all the streetwalkers and hustlers just waiting to hear  these sob stories. And, oh fer cute! Tobebabe gets to give advice to the Pearson boys! Call of Cthulu has NOTHING on this bliss.

Randall leaves Beth a heart shaped box of candies to make up for calling her heartless. She’s thrilled. She needs a sugar high to get through the rest of her life. But she gets Deja instead. Though I feel a bit sorry for Deja. It has to be a bit creepy to wake up in your mom’s car and find people peering in at you like you’re the very sushi they want to see rolled and placed in front of them.

Sobriety isn’t really helping Kevin. He calls Ron Howard in a fit just as when he was drunk to demand to know why he was cut and to tell Ron he made a mistake. Oh, yeah, you tell him, Kevin. Ron laughs, collects his cameo millions, and tells Kevin of course he’s the best thing about the picture. Because no Pearson ever really pays a consequence. That’s called “not raising the stakes” and “sitcom land.” Why bother with sobriety when you are actually more interesting drunk? 

Next week: well, comcraptastic cut off the previews on On Demand. OK, then. Next week: a montage of Deja’s second cousin and Madison’s fifth birthday party. Also, Kate asks the supermarket clerk why she’s so perfect. Kevin calls up Barry Jenkins and tells him Moonlight II needs Kevin Pearson. Miguel appears and looks sad. Montage to “Hounddog.” Guitar, emo version.

[TexasGal]

On 3/3/2018 at 11:09 PM, methodwriter85 said:

They should get plus-size male model Zach Miko to play Toby's little brother.

Um, yes please. \shallow\

[Lithogirl]

Oh goodie a Deja episode. Zzzzzzzzz.

[Guest]

Even the ep title is over the top and nauseating.  

[laurakaye]

On 3/5/2018 at 7:57 PM, potatoradio said:

That's a rhetorical, correct? I mean, have you seen other characters (besides the ones in Parenthood) who seem more like antagonists than protagonists? And not fun, evil antagonists. I mean, 'dear god, these people SUCK. Is this the episode where slot machines land on their heads to shut them up? A nice craps stick in the tender parts? Please, let this be the episode that they discover Jack isn't dead at all but couldn't stand them anymore and had to flee to Vegas and hide out as an Elvis impersonator. Please? 

Once again I must proclaim my adoration for your recaps.  So many spot-on comments.  I mean, these people.

I asked if we are supposed to like the Big 3.  You asked if it was a rhetorical question.  I must admit, I don't even know anymore.  Because as I sit and watch these characters interact with each other, I find myself laughing and eye-rolling during moments when I am pretty sure the writers want me to have the feelz.  I imagine the writers want us to empathize with Kevin's struggles, be impressed with Randall's speechifying, and identify with poor Kate who is always sad...all because they had a saint for a dad?  I don't know!  I don't get it!  And then I hear the chatter in the breakroom at work regarding this show and see the glowing social media posts- so I know that people like it.  This show is a hit and has won awards.  But I don't understand how a group of writers can create such selfish, annoying, sad-sack characters and still have this tear-stained, tissue-clutching cult following.

All I could think about while I was watching the Vegas episode was that it would be absolutely exhausting to have these people as friends in real life, unless you enjoy hanging out with people who are all about themselves, 24/7.  

I swear, I don't get it.  I know the snark thread here gets a lot of action, but I also sometimes wonder if there's a piece of granite where my heart should be.

[GSMHvisitor]

My unpopular opinion for today is that I hate how they're showcasing old ghost Jack in the promo. How they announce him as a special guest and all. Seriously is that necessary? The man is DEAD.

I'm not even that big of a Kate fan, but shouldn't she be the star of this episode? How much will we actually see Jack? Will he outshine Kate even if it's her wedding? I fear the worst. Plus I don't find the interactions between him and Rebecca cute at all. People are swooning over it on twitter, but I'm already annoyed with it! I don't need that lovey-dovey stuff between Rebecca and a the imagination of a dead guy. (Also Poor Miguel.) Whose fantasy is it anyways? It better not be Rebecca's. But if it is Kate's, why would she imagine a dialogue between her mother and her dead father? I'd think she'd just imagine him standing there and smiling lovingly at his daughter as she gets married. This whole thing screams fan service. The writers know how much people love Jack and so they make his part in this bigger than it should be. And it's a real pity. Bc if we'd see Jack (preferably as Kate remembers him and not aged) smiling at Kate quietly I think it would be a very touching moment and I would have liked it. But why have him speak and even interact with Rebecca? Maybe it makes sense once we see the episode, but I doubt it.

Jack had like a quarter of the whole promo. The other quarter was Kate and then that new show Rise had practically the back half, so we have no clue what/if the others have anything going on as well.

Will Jack ever take a backseat for a bit like every other character on that show had to at one point? I really wish he would.

[Guest]

The "Katie Girl" stuff is annoying me, too.  Why, I don't know.  I guess because it's supposed to make me melt?  It doesn't.  

I was totally immune to the stuff in the movie Ghost, too, and I'd throw The Lovely Bones in the hate pile.  I just don't have even the tiniest suspicion that dead souls hang around and look wistfully down upon us and miss us and say sappy things like, "Where did the time go, Bec?" 

And, Jack, the time didn't go anywhere for you.    

[gonzosgirrl]

1 hour ago, laurakaye said:

 But I don't understand how a group of writers can create such selfish, annoying, sad-sack characters and still have this tear-stained, tissue-clutching cult following.

All I could think about while I was watching the Vegas episode was that it would be absolutely exhausting to have these people as friends in real life, unless you enjoy hanging out with people who are all about themselves, 24/7.  

Maybe I can help you understand. As one of the tear-stained, tissue-clutching cultists, I follow the show precisely because it's not real life, and it's satisfying to see some of my own issues in a heightened reality, getting some sympathy/empathy/resolution, and occasionally a swift kick in the ass. And maybe also because I did have a dad who I adored (and who almost all my friends growing up wished was their dad) even through his faults, so I don't find the Jack love to be so OTT. In fact, it makes me feel good to think maybe there are more dads like him out there in the world. There are myriad reality and too-close-to-reality shows out there and I find this one to be something of an oasis, a respite, albeit fantastical, in the midst of all that.

[debraran]

I was annoyed at the wedding scene, Jack old is okay in Kate's mind, but not with her Mom like love birds. Giving her away, walking her down the aisle, but please, special guest star? He's in them all.

Rebecca is married to Miguel whom she loves, you can do that and not tread on a dead person's memory. My sister is married to a widower and he loved his deceased wife dearly, family was in therapy 2 years after her cancer death. But he moved on and told my sister he never thought he could love again but he has.  I feel it really schmaltzy and over the top for Jack to dominate every Rebecca scene even in the future, 20 long years later.

Do they really feel the fans will revolt and stop watching the show. God I hope not.

[Pallas]

26 minutes ago, debraran said:

Rebecca is married to Miguel whom she loves, you can do that and not tread on a dead person's memory.

 

I think Rebecca's imagining Jack there is less about her husband Jack than about Kate's father Jack, Rebecca's partner in raising these children.  On their child's wedding day, a widowed parent would be very mindful of the other parent. And yes, perhaps for the first time in some time, imagine how it would be if that parent were there with them, to share it. Kate was his favorite, and their last to get married. 

A wedding can be poignant and suggestive, especially for the older generation: a sense of time's passing and loss are written into it. This wedding even more so, for Rebecca and her family. If Miguel were any kind of friend to Jack or husband to Rebecca, he'll be feeling Jack's absence as well: for Kate, for his wife, and for himself.

[TwoGrayTabbies]

My unpopular opinion regarding the long-titled episode about Deja’s backstory is that the inserted Pearson flashback moments added nothing.  The writers seemed to be shouting at the audience ISN’T THIS PROFOUND AND SOPHISTICATED!!  WE’RE MAKING THE POINT THAT ALL FAMILIES, RICH POOR AND MIDDLING have sad, tender, and uplifting moments.  It failed for me because, frankly, the similarities weren’t really there.  Rebecca flies across the country to comfort Kate after her miscarriage despite their relationship being somewhat strained.  Shauna is reunified with Deja after Deja was placed in foster care due to Shauna’s neglect.  Both scenes involved a mother, a daughter, and a door, but really nothing else in common.  I also wasn’t impressed by Deja’s musings on everyone going to sleep.  This would have been laughably banal if an adult character said it.  It’s the sort of thing a bright kid would say IRL, but it’s not worthy of television dialogue that’s supposed to have some deep meaning.  Sometimes this show comes across as an after school special with high production values.

[Ducks behind desk to dodge brickbats.]

[chaifan]

12 minutes ago, TwoGrayTabbies said:

Both scenes involved a mother, a daughter, and a door, but really nothing else in common. 

I love this!  This should have been the title of the episode - A Mother, A Daughter, and A Door.  :)  Sort of surprised the episode didn't have a montage of everyone on the toilet to again show we're all the same.

And once again, I think the episode title was actually a prank by an intern (see my comment re: The Car) trying to be snarky but someone took it seriously.  I'm hoping next week's wedding episode is titled "The Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony Ever". 

[Guest]

There’s only a few bat wielders in the UO thread.  They can be passionate, though.  

Every time I see the ep title I hear it in Gordon Ramsay’s voice.   “The most beautiful, amaaaaazing, incredible potato!”

[Lady Calypso]

50 minutes ago, TwoGrayTabbies said:

My unpopular opinion regarding the long-titled episode about Deja’s backstory is that the inserted Pearson flashback moments added nothing.  The writers seemed to be shouting at the audience ISN’T THIS PROFOUND AND SOPHISTICATED!!  WE’RE MAKING THE POINT THAT ALL FAMILIES, RICH POOR AND MIDDLING have sad, tender, and uplifting moments.  It failed for me because, frankly, the similarities weren’t really there.  Rebecca flies across the country to comfort Kate after her miscarriage despite their relationship being somewhat strained.  Shauna is reunified with Deja after Deja was placed in foster care due to Shauna’s neglect.  Both scenes involved a mother, a daughter, and a door, but really nothing else in common.  I also wasn’t impressed by Deja’s musings on everyone going to sleep.  This would have been laughably banal if an adult character said it.  It’s the sort of thing a bright kid would say IRL, but it’s not worthy of television dialogue that’s supposed to have some deep meaning.  Sometimes this show comes across as an after school special with high production values.

[Ducks behind desk to dodge brickbats.]

 These were my EXACT feelings in the moments of watching the episode. I was like "So....the scenes are shot similarly? But the circumstances are completely different!" Which completely took me out of those moments. 

[chaifan]

Not so much of an "unpopular opinion", but more of a nit pick...  Every apartment I ever lived in had water included in the rent.  Simply for the fact that in bigger (and older) buildings it would be impossible to have so many water meters for individual bills.  I think my only apartment utility bills were for electric and phone.  Heat was included when I lived in places with radiators/steam heat, but was part of the electric bill in apartments with forced air.  It would have been more realistic to have the electricity turned off, and social services being called because a small fire was set by a candle or something like that. 

[MrsWitter]

13 hours ago, chaifan said:

Not so much of an "unpopular opinion", but more of a nit pick...  Every apartment I ever lived in had water included in the rent.  Simply for the fact that in bigger (and older) buildings it would be impossible to have so many water meters for individual bills.  I think my only apartment utility bills were for electric and phone.  Heat was included when I lived in places with radiators/steam heat, but was part of the electric bill in apartments with forced air.  It would have been more realistic to have the electricity turned off, and social services being called because a small fire was set by a candle or something like that. 

I agree with most of this, but please, don't give them any ideas. If Deja were subject to a fire (no matter how small), we'd be subject to Pearson house fire parallels. ?‍♀️

Edited March 9, 2018 by MrsWitter

[debraran]

20 hours ago, chaifan said:

Not so much of an "unpopular opinion", but more of a nit pick...  Every apartment I ever lived in had water included in the rent.  Simply for the fact that in bigger (and older) buildings it would be impossible to have so many water meters for individual bills.  I think my only apartment utility bills were for electric and phone.  Heat was included when I lived in places with radiators/steam heat, but was part of the electric bill in apartments with forced air.  It would have been more realistic to have the electricity turned off, and social services being called because a small fire was set by a candle or something like that. 

That's the first I heard of that too. Turning off water? Most of the time it's heat or electric and that's why in many areas there are laws that say you can't during certain months. I realize certain areas might be different but a quick google seemed to make it unlikely and unsanitary.  (they found tenants would have to use bathroom regardless)

Why the writers did water, who knows but yes, no fire!

[chaifan]

13 hours ago, MrsWitter said:

I agree with most of this, but please, don't give them any ideas. If Deja were subject to a fire (no matter how small), we'd be subject to Pearson house fire parallels. ?‍♀️

Ugh.  Didn't even think of that.  OK, still they could have come up with something other than the water bill!  Electric gets turned off, Deja twists her ankle stumbling around in the dark.  See, that was easy. 

[Katy M]

The water being off an dthe accident were two separate incidents.  In fact, without water, there was no reason for her to be trying to make that jambalaya, right?  Wouldn't she need water?  Even, if she were able to wash the wound, she needed stitches.  would still have to gone to the ER.

[Pallas]

Perhaps the landlord turned the water off as part of a campaign to drive Shauna out. We don't know how long Shauna had been behind on the rent -- she wouldn't have let Deja know that -- and her being in arrears might nullify the requirement that a leased apartment come with running water.

[ShadowFacts]

24 minutes ago, Katy M said:

The water being off an dthe accident were two separate incidents.  In fact, without water, there was no reason for her to be trying to make that jambalaya, right?  Wouldn't she need water?  Even, if she were able to wash the wound, she needed stitches.  would still have to gone to the ER.

You can cook jambalaya without water but you couldn't wash the dishes.

[Guest]

I think the rice would be a little crunchy.  Maybe she had a lot of canned broth on hand.  

[ShadowFacts]

55 minutes ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

I think the rice would be a little crunchy.  Maybe she had a lot of canned broth on hand.  

The recipes I've seen have canned broth rather than water, probably for the flavor, but without one or the other, yeah, half-raw rice.  It's pretty inexpensive.  They could also have bottled water on hand for drinking.  I'm actually more worried about their toilet situation . . .

[topanga]

1 hour ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

I think the rice would be a little crunchy.  Maybe she had a lot of canned broth on hand.  

I don’t know why this made me laugh so hard, but it did. Thanks, Winston9-DT3. I was having a long, crappy day till I read your post. 

I love the snark on this thread, but I don’t want to swing too far to the other end of the spectrum. Yes, the Pearsons are self-absorbed and annoying, and yes, I probably would hate them in real life. But I still rush to the TV every week to feast on their every adventure. Except the loooong Jack and Rebecca flashbacks. I tend to fast-forward those. 

Edited March 9, 2018 by topanga

[chaifan]

I've been craving jambalaya all week.  Couldn't figure out why.  Now I know.

[NutMeg]

On 3/6/2018 at 1:57 AM, potatoradio said:

That's a rhetorical, correct? I mean, have you seen other characters (besides the ones in Parenthood) who seem more like antagonists than protagonists? And not fun, evil antagonists. I mean, 'dear god, these people SUCK. Is this the episode where slot machines land on their heads to shut them up? A nice craps stick in the tender parts? Please, let this be the episode that they discover Jack isn't dead at all but couldn't stand them anymore and had to flee to Vegas and hide out as an Elvis impersonator. Please? 

Nope. 

Vegas Baby. Or, The House of Pearson Always Wins Except with Crock Pot Cooking

Deja shows up to ask for just $89 so she can stay warm and maybe have a whole potato for dinner. She asks with the biggest saddest eyes since the Olsen twins on Full House asked if they were in big trouble. Still, I consider the possibility that maybe she’s running a scam on old Hot Dad and is going to guilt him into a credit card and a one-way ticket to somewhere more fun, like Siberia. That would be interesting. But then I remember what show this is. Nevermind.

(They do have two other daughters, but…well, boring.)

Anyway, Beth is all, ‘sad, but it’s Vegas, baby!’ and Randall can’t believe what a monster he’s married. The woman just fronted you money and time to buy a broken down apartment complex so you could get your juices flowing, but a Pearson’s every feeling and thought must be taken as though Moses himself was speaking. Beth, you heretic. This trip won’t end well for her.

Oh, they’re going to Vegas because apparently Tobebabe and Little Miss Sunshine Kate are having their bachelor and bachelorette parties there. Never knew either was a gambler or drawn to the desert or even had a hankering to see M&Ms world, but I’m sure the writers are capable of drawing out the setting theme. Madison is suddenly Kate’s bestie and is trying to plan the whole thing and she seems like fun, if a bit shallow and self-centered, so of course she gets on Tobebabe’s last nerve. Because he has zero friends and wouldn't know fun if it sprang naked and buttered from a hot tub of popcorn. Oh, it's because he played D&D as a kid. Oh. Well, if it’s a bachelor party involving  shopping at the Pawn Stars’ shop for retro D&D outfits? This could be fun. Oh. It isn’t. Tobe-babe’s just whining. Madison, you’re in danger girl, but god love ya for trying.

When you’re a newly recovering alcoholic, apparently, it’s not enough to ask a hotel ahead of time to clear the minibar. Not if you’re a Pearson. The poor housekeeper is stuck with Kevin’s diatribe about how he’s the only one ever to get sober and face down a mini bar at the hotel. This is the hotel’s fault. Also, they should have known to  paper the walls with photos of St. jack and drape necklaces from the ceiling like streamers. That would suit the mood better. A hundred dollars? Fuck you, cheapskate, no minibar costs $100. The Skyy alone costs $85, you sulking has been. Pony up.

Quiz: you are at your bachelorette party. You see your sister in law and brother arguing about one of them being heartless (in front of the striptease stage, no less). If you are a character we are remotely supposed to care about, do you:

A: Say, ‘hey knock it off and check out Doze Nutz!”

B: Drink more with fun Madison and shake your head at those old married sillies as you slurp a melted Snickers out of a diaper.

C: Call out, ‘hey, Beth! Wanna play D&D with the DJ and Mr. LoveNibbles after the show?’

D: Throw your drink on both of them and say, ‘it’s my party. I’ll cry if I want to, but you two need to check yourselves. We’re in Vegas. Not that that matters, but…”

If you’re Kate (such a doll), you do none of the above. No, you decide this is the perfect time to whine about how your brother chooses his wife over you. *needlescratch* Uh, Kate?  Randall is a pain in the ass. You don’t want him to choose you (which, just…ew…). So, Kate then goes to apologize to Beth (whoo! Adulting!) but then immediately turns the apology into yet another pity party for herself. “You’re perfect…I’m not…I feel bad…”So Beth says, “Yeah, I am perfect. Now get out of my room so I can finish this mini bar and what came from Kevin’s.’ No, alas, Beth does not say that. Beth must tell Princess Kate why she isn’t perfect so Kate can feel better about herself. Tobe-babe,  you should look up your brother and forgo trying to marry this sad sack of self pitying doom.  Maybe he and Madison could hook up and buy a house and you guys could play D&D for the rest of your lives. Doesn’t that sound more appealing at this point?

But no. Tobebabe wants brothers to replace the one he sent out to find the Evil Sorcerer in the Dark Forest! He thinks the Pearsons are so cool! They’re like, Luke and Han! And he’s just a Jar Jar understudy.  Look at them go, walking down Vegas, espousing their inner demons  to all the streetwalkers and hustlers just waiting to hear  these sob stories. And, oh fer cute! Tobebabe gets to give advice to the Pearson boys! Call of Cthulu has NOTHING on this bliss.

Randall leaves Beth a heart shaped box of candies to make up for calling her heartless. She’s thrilled. She needs a sugar high to get through the rest of her life. But she gets Deja instead. Though I feel a bit sorry for Deja. It has to be a bit creepy to wake up in your mom’s car and find people peering in at you like you’re the very sushi they want to see rolled and placed in front of them.

Sobriety isn’t really helping Kevin. He calls Ron Howard in a fit just as when he was drunk to demand to know why he was cut and to tell Ron he made a mistake. Oh, yeah, you tell him, Kevin. Ron laughs, collects his cameo millions, and tells Kevin of course he’s the best thing about the picture. Because no Pearson ever really pays a consequence. That’s called “not raising the stakes” and “sitcom land.” Why bother with sobriety when you are actually more interesting drunk? 

Next week: well, comcraptastic cut off the previews on On Demand. OK, then. Next week: a montage of Deja’s second cousin and Madison’s fifth birthday party. Also, Kate asks the supermarket clerk why she’s so perfect. Kevin calls up Barry Jenkins and tells him Moonlight II needs Kevin Pearson. Miguel appears and looks sad. Montage to “Hounddog.” Guitar, emo version.

Your recaps are the best, the highlight of my watching and deserve to be on the PTV payroll.

On 3/7/2018 at 10:13 PM, TwoGrayTabbies said:

My unpopular opinion regarding the long-titled episode about Deja’s backstory is that the inserted Pearson flashback moments added nothing.  The writers seemed to be shouting at the audience ISN’T THIS PROFOUND AND SOPHISTICATED!!  WE’RE MAKING THE POINT THAT ALL FAMILIES, RICH POOR AND MIDDLING have sad, tender, and uplifting moments.  It failed for me because, frankly, the similarities weren’t really there.  Rebecca flies across the country to comfort Kate after her miscarriage despite their relationship being somewhat strained.  Shauna is reunified with Deja after Deja was placed in foster care due to Shauna’s neglect.  Both scenes involved a mother, a daughter, and a door, but really nothing else in common.  I also wasn’t impressed by Deja’s musings on everyone going to sleep.  This would have been laughably banal if an adult character said it.  It’s the sort of thing a bright kid would say IRL, but it’s not worthy of television dialogue that’s supposed to have some deep meaning.  Sometimes this show comes across as an after school special with high production values.

[Ducks behind desk to dodge brickbats.]

Excellent note. And what about Randall identifying so much with Deja from the start when he grew up, from babyhood, into a loving family, and she, from the get go, was extra luggage in her life? What, again, do they have in commun that is so strong that he sees himself in her?

On 3/7/2018 at 10:29 PM, chaifan said:

I love this!  This should have been the title of the episode - A Mother, A Daughter, and A Door.  :)  Sort of surprised the episode didn't have a montage of everyone on the toilet to again show we're all the same.

And once again, I think the episode title was actually a prank by an intern (see my comment re: The Car) trying to be snarky but someone took it seriously.  I'm hoping next week's wedding episode is titled "The Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony Ever". 

Haha, the whole episode was like what is called a recrap on other shows..

3 hours ago, ShadowFacts said:

You can cook jambalaya without water but you couldn't wash the dishes.

Who would even think you would actually attempt to cook without water!? 

[ShadowFacts]

12 minutes ago, NutMeg said:

Who would even think you would actually attempt to cook without water!? 

Well, you can cook any number of things without water.  Eggs, meat, things out of cans, grilled sandwiches.  Just not pasta, or rice or some vegetables.  We've done it many times when our power goes out and our water along with it, because we have a well with an electric pump.  Not convenient, you can't wash up, but very doable.  It's good to have a little bottled water on hand.  I think it's much worse not being able to flush a toilet. 

[NutMeg]

10 minutes ago, ShadowFacts said:

Well, you can cook any number of things without water.  Eggs, meat, things out of cans, grilled sandwiches.  Just not pasta, or rice or some vegetables.  We've done it many times when our power goes out and our water along with it, because we have a well with an electric pump.  Not convenient, you can't wash up, but very doable.  It's good to have a little bottled water on hand.  I think it's much worse not being able to flush a toilet. 

Damn, I'm impressed. But still, you wash your hand first. So, yes, you can cook without water, but me, I kind of wash my hand all the time when I'm cooking, so I just couldn't imagine cooking without running water.

[ShadowFacts]

3 minutes ago, NutMeg said:

Damn, I'm impressed. But still, you wash your hand first. So, yes, you can cook without water, but me, I kind of wash my hand all the time when I'm cooking, so I just couldn't imagine cooking without running water.

I know.  You really don't realize how many times a day you use water until you don't have it.  Just to be able to rinse things off briefly, let alone wash things thoroughly.  I would not have made a good pioneer. 

[potatoradio]

This show makes me miss my best friend from high school so much. We spent our summers reading the Sweet Valley and Sunfire and Caitlin series YA first-base romance novels and writing snark in the margins. We traded who got to read/snark first and it was the most amazing, stunning summer I spent laughing my head off reading my friend’s snark in response to the trials of the Wakefield twins. If we were friends today, I would tell her she has to watch this show and we could reunite over our unkind and unfeeling ridicule. But damn, she had to be a real alcoholic (not play one on teevee) and flush her life down the toilet at the ripe old age of twenty while I was struggling to rebuild my own life.

So, WTF, show? I should be such an easy target for your anvils and your hamfisted feelzies, but instead I’m nostalgic for mocking the perfect size six blonde twins with aquamarine eyes, like the ocean. But, whatever, there’s no going home again and all that, so let’s just get this over with.

“This Big, Amazing, Beautiful Life.”

The Hallmark Very Special Magnetic Poetry (Title Edition) strikes again. I've read more engaging, insightful titles on bathroom stalls and on highway overpasses.

Quote

Every time I see the ep title I hear it in Gordon Ramsay’s voice.   “The most beautiful, amaaaaazing, incredible potato!”

That was just cruel, @Winston9-DT3. After reading that, I so wanted Ramsay to show up at the jambalaya fiasco and shout, ‘you think you’ll win the coveted, stunning, most amazing Master Chef Junior trophy with canned tomatoes and no water? C’mere, you! The rice is rawwwwrrrr! Raaarrrrrrrr, Deja! Damn. Damn.”

Actually, any reality star with some serious intervention bluster would be a welcome reality check for the big Wonderful Amazing Pearsons. Is Jon Taffer available? Anthony Melchiorri? Marcus Lemonis? I can’t stand Dr. Phil, but I wouldn’t necessarily turn off the teevee if he were to have the writers  and producers responsible for this fuckery on his show for a bit of downhome, ‘no, really, you ain’t all that; I am,’ wisdom.

Sigh. ‘Tis not to be.  

The Hidden Threat to Poor Children: Can Openers from the 1800s

Lookit. Babies being born. It’s the most amazing, biggest, Pampers commercial ever! Or is it a stunning March of Dimes promotion? Nope, it’s just lemonade, folks. Pain leads to love leads to enlightenment and sacrifice that only mothers know.  Sweat on, ladies of childbirthin’ scenes.  Oh, god. We’re only two minutes in and I have a headache from the anvils.

Oh, no they didn’t! Pam Grier! Whoo! She did her level best to save the L-Word, but, as I learned watching Kathy Bates in Titanic, even the big, vibrant, Oscar-level personality and talent can’t save a sinking ship. Nonetheless, I have a tiny sprig of hope in my cold little heart.

OK, where were we? Oh, right. Birthing montage. With a random shot of William looking sadly at a collection of pill bottles. And Mel from the car lot and fan dude from the hardware store. And Tobe-babe’s brother being born and his mom saying, ‘goddamn it, one was all I could handle!’  So, anyway, childbirthin’, like taxes, death and eye boogers, is a great equalizer and brings humanity together under one emo guitar riff. Awwwwwww…..

So the story this week is about Deja, who is just like all the other babies except her mom is thinking ‘shit, I don’t  I want this,’ but you don’t argue with Pam Grier when she hands you a baby and tells you to grow up. If I lived with Pam Grier, I wouldn’t complain too much, but Shauna isn’t exactly feeling it. She would have been in college if she didn’t have to read Good night, Moon” and stock the cupboards with canned tomatoes. Apparently, she hasn’t heard of Phoenix or Trump University. She could have gotten a degree in Office Spacing for Dummies in no time. Well, who can blame her, then, for drowning her sorrows or whatever it is she does is to escape this hard life. Is it drinking or is she on to the street recipes that involve spoons? Writers, could you take a sec from your seventh grade guitar sadz to clarify this?

Anyway, when Grier asked Deja what she wanted to read, I so hoped Deja would say, Flowers in the Attic or The Stand or Let the Dead Bury The Dead (special edition: for the love of God, please let the dead be dead at least). Alas, no. Time for humanity montage #2. All babies grow up having Goodnight, Moon read to them. Lookit all the kids. Except William. He’s feeding a cat and then drinking himself to sleep. William is so sad. And, notice, no picture of Saint Jack and his brother being read to. This is why Jack hates entire bedtime rituals- including baths and hair washing. They remind him that he never said goodnight, moon with his dad.  For the record, I never had goodnight moon read to me, either, so I’m quite pleased to finally get to hear it. Sounds much better written than this shit, I tell you what.

Oh, crap. They killed off Pam Grier already? Way to waste the talent, show.  

Anyway, now the shit’s going to hit the fan.  We’re going to see every scrap of Deja’s background, perhaps including the origin of the nickname ‘tater tot’ and the man who hit her with the magazine.

Deja decides, all on her own, even without an old white doctor imparting his wisdom, to make something like lemonade on her mom’s birthday. Rather, something like jambalaya. Grandma’s recipe, including instructions to use the can opener from the family farm circa 1890, back before all the sissies starting crying about ergonomics and safety and whatnot and we all know crank can openers cost a pretty penny. Or at least $2.99. If Shauna had gone to college, she’d know that, but oh well.

Falling foreshadowing anvil alert (thank you, writers). The water is due to be cut off if not paid. DON DON DON!  This is another fact of human existence  (though, oddly, they didn’t have a moment to mirror this when the Pearsons lost their water, too, but Saint Jack dug his own well and piped in fresh spring Pittsburgh water that was later proven to cure birth defects and poverty). So…DON DON DON…No water when the inevitable happens and Deja slices her hand with the can opener. Again with the kitchen appliance trauma, show?

Oh, wait. The Pearsons house caught fire. Deja's house has no water at precisely the moment she needs it most (because most people would be clued in when they tried to brush their teeth or take a shower in the morning, but...). Ooooh. That's brilliant, writers. Fire and water. Yin and Yang. Aries and Pisces. Day and Night. Ya'll do know that binary thinking is a bit old school? 

Off to the hospital and the most aggressive social worker ever. I don’t work in social services, but seriously, one accident and you’re taken from your home?  My God. No wonder it’s stressful being a parent.

Please stand by: incoming  Very Important Connection to the Pearsons. Look: Deja and her mom are reunited. So are Kate and Rebecca. It's totally appropriate and shows so much empathy and isn’t tone deaf at all to say that there’s no racial, socioeconomic or other barrier that can’t be cured by equating it with a Pearson scenario.  No more white guilt. We all face the same trials in life. Besides, nobody has it as bad as Kate, so shut up and learn some irony, Deja. Here’s a random shot of William laughing. See? Like the song, “Joy and Pain.” Sunshine and rain. Big beautiful amazing clichés.

By the way, if you’re finding this lacking a plot or a bit confusing, I’m sorry, but this had about as much tension as a freefalling elevator and as much coherence as a Saturday Night Live junior high black  box theatre skit. I can only do so much.  

OK, so despite her aggressiveness, the social worker is an idiot and puts Deja in a foster home with an old dude who  really hits the kids instead of leaving them alone to drown in the butter churn out back. Good going, social worker. Anyway, this guy is not the Magazine Beater. These scenes do introduce the spunky Raven, though, who could seriously perk up this droll story, but that would mean giving the interesting character screentime instead of yet another montage of drinking, Pearson style. See? Everybody Hurts. Anyway, Deja clues in the social worker and now Deja is back with her mom and Raven is…where the minor characters go to hibernate until their death scene. Mark my words: Raven’s death will be a Very Special two-part miniseries interspersed with Tobe-babe’s rise to Dungeon Master. Because we’re all connected like that.

Deja’s in dance class. Oooh! Is this going to be like a Dance Moms episode? Is Shauna going to go all Kristi or Jill on the teacher?  Is Abby Lee Miller a guest star, too? Oh, good, the shitty social worker again. Somebody must have died with that GUN they introduced earlier. Chekov says, don’t bring a damn gun into the story unless you intend to shoot it. So, the bad news boyfriend shot Shauna and then himself? Oh. No, no shots fired or anything like that. Guess there was no time to build a montage of Shauna’s mother giving birth and Pam Grier picking tomatoes for canning.

Shauna goes away and comes back and now Deja presents something she made in school. Wait, how old is this girl? Covering a shoebox with stickers? Oh, look, everyone counts money. Cue the ABBA song: Money, Money, Money. Or, if you like, Calloway’s I Want Money. I can’t believe how connected I feel to people right now.

So, now, of course, it all makes sense why Deja has to live with the Pearsons and how it all comes together in one big fat happy ending with corny old Hot Dad. Except…why the fuck can’t Hot Dad be a freaking normal person and sit next to Deja instead of kneeling beside the bed and leaning on it? God, Randall, are you TRYING to scare the fuck out of this girl? Also, “what are you thinking?” is a terrible thing to ask a teen. You don’t want to know.

Oh, except that that’s Deja’s cue for wise 'tween wisdom: Everyone goes to sleep at night. This makes Randall want to cry. It’s amazing. This amazing life. Everyone goes to sleep at night. Except, no, honey, some people are just waking up to go to work at night and some people are insomniacs and some people don’t go to sleep as much as pass out, but if you mean that nobody can be conscious 24-7 unless it’s forced, like in torture, then yeah, bang on!

OK, so, the story’s going to start now, right? Wait. WHAT? That’s IT? Oh my god, is there an anti-Emmy for most egregious filler episode? Because this wins. Hands down. Now I'm not going to sleep at night because I'm too busy downloading the O'Jays song For the Love of Money because something must drown out the Very Important Guitar music I've been tortured with. 

God, Francine Pascal - I'm so sorry I ever snarked on you. You write masterpieces compared to this. You really do. Is the Dairi Burger open? Because I want in. 

[SunnyBeBe]

 I was probably in the minority, but, I was hoping that Kate would just keep driving and not return for the wedding.  Toby would have been upset, but, his parents would have been there to help support him and it would be better on him in the future.  Toby, your parents concerns are valid.  Too bad, he just won't listen.  

I love a wedding, but, this one seemed so sad.  Kate's health is very concerning.  Can her mobility really be that good? 

I feel sorry for Randall's kids. They could be having a nice life, but, for their parents exposing them to a violent person.