All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[AngelaHunter]

I instantly named her Elvira in my head.

 

So did I at first! Then I thought no, since Elvira isn't a drunken, coked-out skank who can barely put two words together, vandalizes cars and has more gunk caked on her face than she has gray matter in her head.

[augmentedfourth]

I actually thought Drunk Jessica was one of the prettier defendants we've had in a while...until she opened her mouth and started spewing such ridiculous nonsense. Did she actually mutter at one point that she makes stuff up all the time (in reference to, I believe, whatever was going to be on the police report)? Honey, whatever you're doing, stop. Just stop.

 

That weird little gnome of a firestarter genuinely creeped me out. Don't get me wrong, it seems like the vast majority of the people who air their dirty laundry on this show are "marginal" people (to quote JJ herself) who I wouldn't want to have anything to do with, but something about his affect and demeanor, along with his complete lack of remorse and his oblivious behavior at the end of the case, made me extremely glad he does not live in my neighborhood. Something was just off about him.

 

The preview for tomorrow's "space invaders" looked pretty good!

[Brattinella]

Firestarter guy was BAKED.

[Eliza422]

Firestarter guy was BAKED.

I kept thinking, "what a douchebag...."

[Guest]

Swoon all you want over Brad Pitt Burkhart Plushenko, people, because I'm staking my claim to:

There was a rerun this morning where a woman was suing her son's ex-fiancee for the return of the mother's engagement ring, which she had given to her son to give to his fiancee.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...ripped jeans, stupid piercings, unfortunate comb forward and dumb as a box of air but hotttttttttttttttt!

I did adore drug addict Jessica: "I don't remember talking to the cops." Yet, oddly enough "remembers" what happened BEFORE she talked to them.

[iwasish]

Did Jessica have the hots  for blonde gay guy? Was it jealousy that drove her to vandalize the car?

[Sarcastico]

The Firestarter case was the first case of the new season to feature two of our favorite tropes: hipsters suing each other; and Judy's "Are you on medication?"  Have to admit that the plaintiff was very attractive.

 

And speaking of attractive: for those of you who want more of Russian Male Order Bride: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=209770692394358&set=a.145165778854850.20470.100000842863784&type=1&theater

 

I work hard for you people! 

[zillabreeze]

Iwasish- that's what I was trying to figure out? On one hand, I thought she might have decided to go home, her purse and laptop were left in his car. The fire extinguisher and laptop placement made me think she broke in to get her stuff. The ramblings we heard made no sense and all the fuzzed out words were useless.

Sarcastico- you are wonderful. Since I don't read Russian, is he for sale? I bet I can fire up a disability and get SSI to pay for him!

[Toaster Strudel]

zillabreeze won't you borrow me some of that money when you get it?  I'm expecting a tax refund.

[khyber]

So are any of you planning to check out Hot Bench next week?

[teebax]

The Firestarter case was the first case of the new season to feature two of our favorite tropes: hipsters suing each other; and Judy's "Are you on medication?"  Have to admit that the plaintiff was very attractive.

 

And speaking of attractive: for those of you who want more of Russian Male Order Bride: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=209770692394358&set=a.145165778854850.20470.100000842863784&type=1&theater

 

I work hard for you people! 

I am gayer than a three dollar bill. I clicked your link, and even I was like, "Dayum! That man is fine." He couldn't turn me straight or anything, but I can appreciate a good-looking dude when I see one.

 

So are any of you planning to check out Hot Bench next week?

I wouldn't miss it for the world.  I have already started calling it "Hot Mess" instead.

Edited September 10, 2014 by teebax

[AngelaHunter]

Did Jessica have the hots  for blonde gay guy?

 

If she did, her problems are way worse than being a messed up, fuzzy brained substance abusing maniac.

 

Sarcastico, I love you. Pretty Russian Mail Order Bride (Groom?) is not my cuppa tea - we never have seen eye-to-eye on that subject -  but I do admire your persistance in tracking him down.:)

 

I"m devastated that I missed that episode since I forgot JJ was changing times. It sounds like a classic.

[One Tough Cookie]

I work hard for you people!

 

 

For which I am eternally grateful!!!

[iwasish]

If she did, her problems are way worse than being a messed up, fuzzy brained substance abusing maniac.

 

Sarcastico, I love you. Pretty Russian Mail Order Bride (Groom?) is not my cuppa tea - we never have seen eye-to-eye on that subject -  but I do admire your persistance in tracking him down.:)

 

I"m devastated that I missed that episode since I forgot JJ was changing times. It sounds like a classic.

she said something about "rekindling" something or other, and had some kind of dreamy eye look. It was odd

[zillabreeze]

 

zillabreeze won't you borrow me some of that money when you get it?  I'm expecting a tax refund.

Why of course, Toaster!  However, I've screwed over every cell phone carrier on earth, so maybe you can add me to your plan?  (I'll be NEEDING the iphone 6 to run my dog breeding pyrimid business)

Thank you so much!

Edited September 10, 2014 by zillabreeze

[springtime]

Today's episode- A lesbian couple against a son and his girlfriend.

Seems like the bio Mom is being controlled by her much larger/ more vocal partner.

 

A supposed loan, rent for a month stay at their home,  a paint spill on the carpet and a video game system???

Let it all go and enjoy any time young adult children spend with you - Don't push them away!

(I hope the 17 yr old daughter will soon be out of the home as well - as it sounds like a miserable place to be!)

[zillabreeze]

 

A supposed loan, rent for a month stay at their home,  a paint spill on the carpet and a video game system???

Grown ass women fighting over a game system?  How embarassing.  Somebody sure had an ax to grind with the new GF!

 

Did love JJ getting how little dogs try to antagonize big dogs.  Many times, I have had to scream at people to pull their liittle yappers out of my greyhounds faces.

 

Greasy-headed plant kicker was just gross.  I'll wager he pulled a lot of shit around the house.  Sir, you are now welcome to leave the planet.

 

In general, why do older women with really thin lips insist on wearing dark lipstick?  It looks like a big horizontal gash across the face. Stop it.  You are not doing yourself any favors.

[Toaster Strudel]

Plant kicker was deranged.  He used a bolt cutter to release a BBQ for self-defense?  Were I the one ruling at the bench, I would have awarded the plaintiff $5000, because he was clearly malicious.  I hope his new residence has padded walls and the cafeteria only plastic sporks.

 

Dogs.  It's my god-given right to hate dogs.  So, two stupid yapping and biting fleabags go at each other after soiling the neighborhood with their feces, and getting humans that have brains the size of a planet in comparison, to pick up the turds before the dogs eat them.  And that idiot dog owner sank $3000 on vet bills?  Serves her right for being a dog slave.  I have no pity.  Meanwhile Jude Judy is so besotted with dogs, she turns gaga over that infantilized, inbreed animal and her whole face is illuminated like the angels have come to her with a revelation from the Heavens.  Wake up Judy, it's just a stupid butt-licker.

 

New GF seems nice.  I hope the young couple takes that game system with them, moves across the country, and don't notify those two petty women that they have grandchildren when they do.  That household is probably a toxic viper pit.  Suing over a carpet stain?  Suing??? Your child?

Edited September 11, 2014 by Toaster Strudel

[Hero]

That greasy neighbor guy was just so creepy. I wonder how the neighbors started feuding in the first place.

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

bio Mom is being controlled by her much larger/ more vocal partner.

 

I'd be terrified to open my mouth around her without permission. She's one rough looking big mama.

 

Plant-kicker, KEEVER, was certifiable. Did some voice in his head tell him to free the barbeque from its state of bondage? Doesn't he know that once he cut it loose it might crawl in his window at night and grill him to death?

 

Many times, I have had to scream at people to pull their liittle yappers out of my greyhounds faces.

 

Once, two teeny Yorkies literally flew across the road and tried to attack my 75lb shepherd mix. He just just lifted his face out of reach of their snapping jaws and  looked at them in astonishment, luckily for them and their stupid owners. Another dog would have turned them into sieves.

Edited September 11, 2014 by AngelaHunter

[teebax]

Can someone describe this show and the people who will be in the show?

It's a show in which litigants present their cases. Instead of one judge, there will be three. I read up on it on the show's website. The three judges are all law school grads - one from Yale, one from UCLA, and one from Southeastern, if I remember correctly. They've all either practiced law or worked as judges. Also, they've hired Judge Joe Brown's former bailiff.

[Oinky Boinky]

Toaster (sorry I have no luck with quotes) to paraphrase Jim Morrison (may I) love you two times?  One like is not enough for someone who feels the same way I do about dog slaves and how JJ changes her judicial opinion dependant on the breed and her experience with it.

 

 

And WOW! That was a woman!  That was big mom and not big step dad??  I have to re-watch. 

[zillabreeze]

 

how JJ changes her judicial opinion dependant on the breed and her experience with it.

What I was trying to express was my astonishment that she actually took the side of the larger dog owner.  Since she has a whole herd of little yappers, she has in the past seemed predisposed to making the large dog the villan.  

 

It really didn't have anything to do with dogs, per se, I have just become really sensitive to her increasing lack of objectivity and this case surprised.

[WaitForMe]

Well, I've watched most of the new episodes (I don't like dog ones when one gets killed or hurt so I kinda fast forward parts) and she's mentioned twice that she 71 years old and one time used her getting old and experienced to be able to tell when someone is lying. Maybe she's getting ready to hang up the robe.

[Florinaldo]

I'd be terrified to open my mouth around her without permission. She's one rough looking big mama.

She managed to embody a few aspects of a common stereotype in one single human being: the butch lesbian who's intimidating, deaf to other people' opinions, domineering and a redneck. She may not be all that in real life, but that's what she projected. The younger couple seemed nice and rather inoffensive. You have to wonder what happened to cause so much bitterness and petty vindictiveness on the part of the step-mother. Once again we are missing some background info.

 

Plant kicker was deranged.  He used a bolt cutter to release a BBQ for self-defense?

I thought he was saying that the BBQ was located near his unit or windows and that the gas tanks were the danger. He certainly appeared a few logs short of a load, but the plaintiff did not seem quite right either, although she was more of a quiet crazy, the kind of controlling obsessive who can be a very unplesant neighbour. Also, a shrine for a dead cat...

 

The Yorkies owners seemed truly dismayed by the ruling. I think the situation was very simple in their minds: establish that your dog was bitten by the other dog and voilà, case closed! But JJ went all legalese on them, invoking a doctrine of "absolute safety" or some similar notion to rule the other party was under no obligation to comply with such a standard.

[iwasish]

Toaster (sorry I have no luck with quotes) to paraphrase Jim Morrison (may I) love you two times?  One like is not enough for someone who feels the same way I do about dog slaves and how JJ changes her judicial opinion dependant on the breed and her experience with it.

 

 

And WOW! That was a woman!  That was big mom and not big step dad??  I have to re-watch. 

Was bio mom standing up, or was she in a wheelchair/sitting down?  She were very tiny!!!

[iwasish]

She managed to embody a few aspects of a common stereotype in one single human being: the butch lesbian who's intimidating, deaf to other people' opinions, domineering and a redneck. She may not be all that in real life, but that's what she projected. The younger couple seemed nice and rather inoffensive. You have to wonder what happened to cause so much bitterness and petty vindictiveness on the part of the step-mother. Once again we are missing some background info.

 

I thought he was saying that the BBQ was located near his unit or windows and that the gas tanks were the danger. He certainly appeared a few logs short of a load, but the plaintiff did not seem quite right either, although she was more of a quiet crazy, the kind of controlling obsessive who can be a very unplesant neighbour. Also, a shrine for a dead cat...

 

The Yorkies owners seemed truly dismayed by the ruling. I think the situation was very simple in their minds: establish that your dog was bitten by the other dog and voilà, case closed! But JJ went all legalese on them, invoking a doctrine of "absolute safety" or some similar notion to rule the other party was under no obligation to comply with such a standard.

I see why JJ ruled as she did on the dogs. The defendant didn't lose control of her dog, he didn't get loose and attack, the plaintiff allowed his dogs to get close enough to hers to get grabbed. All the dogs were on leashes, all the plaintiff had to do was keep a safe distance between his and her dog(s). I have two dachshunds, when approaching an entry to a building with them or even waiting to get on an elevator, if there is another dog nearby I'll either pick them up or stay back far enough to allow the other dog owner to enter/exit entirely before proceeding.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

I can't remember which case it was, but did my ears hear correctly that someone uttered the non-word "driv" (instead of drove)? As in, "I driv her to the store"

[goodogcarl]

I see why JJ ruled as she did on the dogs. The defendant didn't lose control of her dog, he didn't get loose and attack, the plaintiff allowed his dogs to get close enough to hers to get grabbed. All the dogs were on leashes, all the plaintiff had to do was keep a safe distance between his and her dog(s). I have two dachshunds, when approaching an entry to a building with them or even waiting to get on an elevator, if there is another dog nearby I'll either pick them up or stay back far enough to allow the other dog owner to enter/exit entirely before proceeding.

 

As I understood it, all dogs were NOT on leashes.  The defendant said his weren't on leashes because they normally run right to the car.  That was an odd match that handsome man and that surly fireplug.

[augmentedfourth]

As I understood it, all dogs were NOT on leashes.  The defendant said his weren't on leashes because they normally run right to the car.  That was an odd match that handsome man and that surly fireplug.

Different case. I believe you're referring to the dog bite case, where the husband did say the dogs were off leash and the wife, who wasn't there, was all "NOPE! Not my dog(s)! Didn't happen, uh-uh!" and had to pay punitive damages (which JJ doesn't always hand out) for her piss-poor attitude and lack of remorse.

 

Yesterday was leashed little yappy dogs vs. leashed bigger dog, and I was also a little surprised that JJ turned out not to be biased in favor of the little yappy dogs. I believe the owners of the little yappy dogs were saying the girl walking the bigger dog wasn't control of it and it was all but dragging her down the sidewalk, but even if that were the case, 1) the bigger dog was still leashed, and 2) it still meant that the man walking the little yappy dogs let them get all up in bigger dog's business rather than getting them out of the way. Works for me.

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

I see why JJ ruled as she did on the dogs

 

Totally. When all dogs are on leashes and get into a fight, the little ones - who are often the instigators -  are going to lose but that does NOT automatically mean the big dog is the aggressor. Dogs get into fights. It happens! Get over it!

 

Oh, and plaintiff's indignant and somewhat arrogant boyfriend? He has a German Shepherd he needs to hold with two hands on the leash, which means he knows little about dogs. If they're trained properly they shouldn't have to be controlled by brute strength.

 

She managed to embody a few aspects of a common stereotype in one single human being: the butch lesbian who's intimidating, deaf to other people' opinions, domineering and a redneck.

 

Don't forget about the gray buzzcut.

Edited September 11, 2014 by AngelaHunter

[Florinaldo]

I see why JJ ruled as she did on the dogs.

So do I. I was simply pointing out that the plaintiffs seemed to expect that their sob story and evidence (pictures of the bites) would be sufficient to sway the judge in their favour, based on emotions alone. But JJ threw them a left curve by invoking a real legal principle. I sometimes wonder to what extent the production team may build up litigants' expectations; not necessarily lying to them, but just slightly overstating the capital of sympathy and understanding they can legitimately expect from JJ.

 

 

Don't forget about the gray buzzcut.

I saw that as implicit in the "butch lesbian" stereotype, although it could also fit the "redneck" label.

[Puffaroo]

Swoon all you want over Brad Pitt Burkhart Plushenko, people, because I'm staking my claim to:

Yeah, yeah, yeah...ripped jeans, stupid piercings, unfortunate comb forward and dumb as a box of air but hotttttttttttttttt!

 

ACK!  I guess there's someone for everyone!  ;)  Plus I don't find stupid attractive, and that dude wasn't just stupid, he was STOOPID.

 

So are any of you planning to check out Hot Bench next week?

 

I've got it lined up on the old Tivo, but from the ads I've seen I suspect the pseudonym of "Hot Mess" will probably be accurate.

Today's dognapper?  SO guilty.

Edited September 11, 2014 by Puffaroo

[AngelaHunter]

Today's litigants were mostly so repugnant I don't know how I got through it all.

 

Pansy-assed "Johnathan", his stupid lying witness and his Mommy standing by dressed in what appeared to be a 70s Mother-of-the-Bride outfit bothered me only marginally less than "Johnell" who couldn't give a straight answer to a simple question to save her soul. All together now: Her insurance expired TWO DAYS before the accident.

 

Today's dognapper?  SO guilty.

 

 

I can't remember when I hated anyone as much as I hated Tiffany and her gold-grilled,grinning boyfriend who I believe she sent to break in to plaintiff's house and steal that poor dog. Ugh ugh ugh.

 

Tickets racked up on the old beater Caddy: I couldn't watch any more of Leroy licking his lips and sucking them in after each reply he gave. I had to throw in the towel so I don't know and don't care who won their ridiculous case.

[pagooey]

I just hope that when the boxer chomped the yappy little Idle-Richies' dog, she didn't damage one of its other outfits. That poor creature was wearing a 1950s poodle-skirt ensemble, which to me is a prime indicator of way more money than sense on behalf of the owners. Maybe yappy dog was just dressed up for court? (Maybe she thought she was going to a tea dance???)

[One Tough Cookie]

I can't remember which case it was, but did my ears hear correctly that someone uttered the non-word "driv" (instead of drove)? As in, "I driv her to the store"

 

 

I heard that as well.  Another gem to put into the lexicon?

[Rick Kitchen]

Judge Judy was outrageously prejudiced against the Russian woman whose English wasn't very good.  If you aren't being clear, trying speaking more clearly, quit screaming at the lady.

[teebax]

 

She managed to embody a few aspects of a common stereotype in one single human being: the butch lesbian who's intimidating, deaf to other people' opinions, domineering and a redneck.

 

Wait - my ex-girlfriend was on JJ?! 

 

 

Don't forget about the gray buzzcut.

Yup - she totally was. LOL.

 

Seriously- we have a bunch of those ladies in our lesbian community where I live. I don't tick any of those boxes, but sometimes stereotypes exist for a reason! Those overly-domineering types don't last too long with me. I have this nasty habit of having my own opinion and doing whatever the hell I want. I imagine living in a home with her is quite miserable.

[khyber]

I can't remember which case it was, but did my ears hear correctly that someone uttered the non-word "driv" (instead of drove)? As in, "I driv her to the store"

 

Everyone knows the correct form is "I done driv her to the store."

[augmentedfourth]

Judge Judy was outrageously prejudiced against the Russian woman whose English wasn't very good.  If you aren't being clear, trying speaking more clearly, quit screaming at the lady.

 

I don't know. I kind of got the sense that the Russian plaintiff came in with a story and a script she was determined to stick to, and not even the indomitable forces of JJ could ever get her to deviate even slightly from the version of the story she's been telling for two years and acknowledge that she's not some tragic victim. Even the English-speaking friend of the plaintiff couldn't really explain why they were there. Mind you, the defendant was no prize either and she didn't really have a good answer as to why she was going through the plaintiff's stuff, but I think JJ was right to throw them all out. File them both under "people I'm glad I don't live with".

[Florinaldo]

File them both under "people I'm glad I don't live with".

 

Just about every person appearing on this show would deserve that label, including JJ herself.

[Talented Tenth]

In the "car hit" case, if the defendant didn't hit the car, why was the plaintiff given her information?

[zillabreeze]

Such a small world! Teebax and I share an ex!

[Oinky Boinky]

In no-neck v ho-lotta-neck I got so absorbed trying to count ho-lotta-neck's cervical vertebrae that I missed - WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOG?

[DoctorK]

I think we never found out. In the end, JJ gave the plaintiff a bunch of money, saying that the defendant definitely stole the dog but has no idea where it is now (I suspect JJ really thought that there was no way the defendant was going to provide any additional info). I think JJ also awarded punitive damages because of the defendant's admitted repeated burglary.

[AngelaHunter]

I think JJ also awarded punitive damages because of the defendant's admitted repeated burglary.

 

She was also making sure the horrid defendant didn't get any of the money awarded to litigants. She's done that before and I love it when these creeps are publicly humiliated and their misdeeds showcased for the world and then get nada for their troubles.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Pansy-assed "Johnathan", his stupid lying witness and his Mommy standing by dressed in what appeared to be a 70s Mother-of-the-Bride outfit bothered me only marginally less than "Johnell" who couldn't give a straight answer to a simple question to save her soul. All together now: Her insurance expired TWO DAYS before the accident.

That was a smorgasbord of hot mess wasn't it? I'm laughing at MOB outfit but Mama couldn't remember to wash her hair before court? 

 

I think it's a cosmic rule that if people don't pay their insurance for ONE DAY (or two days in this case) then the universe is bound to force them into getting into an accident. And I did enjoy the neighbor in the window with her "kids" (kept thinking of the mother in Psycho sitting in the rocking chair)

 

As for the two yapping dogs case - I was walking my 20 lb pug on a leash when a neighbor's pit/lab mix got loose from the little girl walking him and attacked him. He turned to run and got bit in a perfect circle right around his curly little tail. I managed to beat the bigger dog off of him and my little booger turned and tried to BITE a dog that outweighed him by probably 50-60 pounds. So I know the little dog with big cojones rule all too well. 

 

I also will be watching Hot Bench aka Hot Court Mess. I gotta have my court shows and I'm hoping it's not as fakey as the other court shows (for me only JJ and People's Court are worth watching as the rest are fake as a three dollar bill that I used to pay my car insurance with)

[AngelaHunter]

(for me only JJ and People's Court are worth watching as the rest are fake as a three dollar bill that I used to pay my car insurance with)

 

Yep yep! And for all the people who whined about how mean JJ is and so very nice MM is, they need to watch the new season. She's gotten just as mean as JJ and  a lot louder and she's only in her 50s. By the time she's JJ's age she'll be yelling "Off with his head!" if a litigant dares to interrupt her. This is the result of dealing with a parade of lying morons and amoral slimeballs all day.

 

And I did enjoy the neighbor in the window with her "kids"

 

That would be "kidses", as in "My kidses' toys, bedroom, grandma," etc.

[Ouisch]

I was so frustrated during the Russian landlord/Dramatic Defendant case....  JJ asked Defendant why she was taking pictures of her landlord's papers, Def. glossed over the question and then delivered an emotional soliloquy as to why she's such a good person who only ever wants to help people, and then JJ never brought up the subject of stealing mail/photographing documents again. JJ was visibly aggravated, as mentioned above, by the Plaintiff's halting English and I think she could've been a little more patient when articulating "Give me just one item that you think was stolen." Then again, despite Plaintiff's apparent limited grasp of basic English ("she was photographic copying my personal papers"), she was literate enough to mention "emotional distress" as part of the compensation she was seeking. You can read how Ludmila really felt about her JJ experience here (some interesting insights from other JJ litigants as well).

[Toaster Strudel]

I warned everyone that insurance paying for Viagra and denying women birth control coverage was a disaster in the making.  But who listens to a frozen freezer tart on issues of reproductive policies?  No one.  They just toss me in the toaster until they see smoke and smear me with gross icing.

 

Poor 7-year old Luke has two siblings (34 and 38) old enough to be his grandparents if everyone had been suitably precocious.  His sugar-daddy loving mamma defies a restraining order to bring him a cell phone?  Sure, these days, everyone out of kindergarten must be reachable at all times.  That's the business environment.

 

Maybe new sugar daddy should have performed that second circumcision on old sugar daddy.  Yesterday's bolt-cutter BBQ lunatic would be the top choice mohel for this job.

 

Old men are fools for women of reproductive age.  And Viagra can help them knock them up proper!  They're one heart-attack away from forever lapsing their child support or getting out of the whole messy drama of foamy generation lines.