All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[Brattinella]

JJ-Did you have a car loan?

SD-No, it was financed.

JJ-So, you had a car loan.

SD-No, I had car payments.

 

SD=Stupid Defendant

[AngelaHunter]

SD=Stupid Defendant

 

Okay that must be another case. Today it was the plaintiff, who thought that flipping her hair and spewing doubletalk could substitute for any testimony that made sense in the case of the def. crashing into her car. I still don't know what the hell she was talking about, the foolish bitch.

[Brattinella]

AngelaHunter:

 

 

She just wanted to be on TEEVEE, doncha know?

 

My quotes were from tomorrow's previews!

 

I really need to start quoting, sorry!

Edited June 11, 2015 by Brattinella

[AKA...CJ86]

AngelaHunter:

 

 

 

My quotes were from tomorrow's previews!

 

I really need to start quoting, sorry!

 

...I just saw it...I DIED!  I can't wait for tomorrow!

Edited June 11, 2015 by CyberJawa1986

[NYCFree]

I used to teach in Harlem, NYC. One afternoon, after school, a kid from the block who didn't go to our school ran through the lobby and up a flight of stairs. The security guard was just about to go after him, but then a guy ran into the lobby yelling "where's the fat kid from the street?" The security guard asked the guy what the problem was. The guy was indignant that the kid sold him a bag of oregano instead of a bag of marijuana. The guy was really surprised and put out that the security guard wouldn't either help him get the kid, or let the guy hunt down the kid in the school himself.

[AngelaHunter]

My quotes were from tomorrow's previews!

 

I really need to start quoting, sorry!

 

OH, well, it sounded just like today's case anyway. The usual, which makes me wonder if ANYONE is driving with valid insurance.

They all say they do and did have it, but under questioning, it comes out - "It lapsed. I was not currently insured at that time." Yeah, and usually at least a year ago, if they ever actually had any, which I doubt.

[SandyToes]

 

The point of the provision was to prevent me from demanding a bunch of small repairs and have me only go to the landlord for larger ones. So when the A/C unit needed to be replaced, the landlord paid for the full amount since it cost more than $500.

 

We do something similar to this, for exactly this reason. You want me to come change a light bulb? Sure. That'll be $100. Oven goes out? That's on us.

 

 

JJ-Did you have a car loan?

SD-No, it was financed.

JJ-So, you had a car loan.

SD-No, I had car payments.

 

Junior Toes and I saw this today on the previews - backed it up and watched it a couple of times. Howling!! More fun than the actual case! She looks like a real charmer.

[teebax]

Hella confused here. Not that that is a new thing. If the wording is "any and all repairs up to $500" and that means only repairs $500 or less are the responsibility of the person leasing, how do you word it so that the first $500 of any repair is their responsibility? Because I do believe that was his intent, to have her pay up to $500 for any repair. So I guess it would benefit the landlord to have it worded to keep a renter from nickle and diming (or five hundred dollaring, haha) him with endless smaller repairs, while also getting at least $500 on bigger repairs to word it the way I want it. These litigants were not evil or annoying, just very sleep inducing. Plus, the hell with the touchy feely hallterviews? Ugh, go away spare change before I spend you.

I think you could just word it exactly as that: "The tenant shall be responsible for all repairs under $500 and the first $500 of repairs exceeding $500" or something like that.

[Intocats]

JJ-Did you have a car loan?

SD-No, it was financed.

JJ-So, you had a car loan.

SD-No, I had car payments.

 

SD=Stupid Defendant

I can't wait for this tomorrow.

 

I work as the business manager for a general and cosmetic dentist.  About a year ago, a woman walked in (not a patient of record) and told me about her son, age 50 or so, who has lost most of his teeth due to his meth habit. She wanted to schedule an appointment for him to have extensive implants and prostheses done. As I was walking her to the front desk to make the consultation appointment, she said, "We'll need to make payments." I explained that the doctor does not offer in-house financing, but gave her a few brochures for some lenders who might be able to help. She stared at the brochures, looked at me blankly and said:

 

"I don't want financing, I want to make payments!"

 

True story.

Edited June 12, 2015 by Intocats

[Intocats]

I used to teach in Harlem, NYC. One afternoon, after school, a kid from the block who didn't go to our school ran through the lobby and up a flight of stairs. The security guard was just about to go after him, but then a guy ran into the lobby yelling "where's the fat kid from the street?" The security guard asked the guy what the problem was. The guy was indignant that the kid sold him a bag of oregano instead of a bag of marijuana. The guy was really surprised and put out that the security guard wouldn't either help him get the kid, or let the guy hunt down the kid in the school himself.

As JJ would say, "CLEAN HANDS!!!"

[AZChristian]

I was going to record JJ tomorrow to see the lady in the previews.  We have FIFA crap tomorrow preempting JJ.  I am NOT a happy person.

[zillabreeze]

(my heart broke at the shirts, pants, music gift card and name brand cologne!). My heart froze over thinking about what she got for $1,000.

 

Stewed- that touched me, too.  They were rather simple things, but the guy seemed genuinely proud of having put together his son's Christmas. I'll wager that at thirteen, the son prob appreciated that it was kind of a big deal to his dad.  Bet he remembers those humble gifts a lot longer than the pile of electronic crap Ex piled up.  IMO, Ex was being passive-aggressive and was just trying to publicly get some digs in.

[basiltherat]

Honey, NO profession is being represented well on JJ -- except for meth-heads and hos.

[DoctorK]

 

NO profession is being represented well on JJ

especially not lawyers!

[Brattinella]

especially not lawyers!

 

Truly!  We have seen some dunces, eh?

[augmentedfourth]

I think I missed most of the plot of the TV/vacation tickets case because I was mesmerized by the plaintiff's choice of clothing. So many patterns! Leopard print! Watercolors! Some sort of cartoon-ish swirls! All in a flowy caftan style! I can't decide if it was fabulous, hideous, or some combination of the two.

[Milz]

Heh....I probably have wax build up in my ears because I swore I heard a case announced as "Fool versus Gretchen".....

[BubblingKettle]

Because of my local Fox station's need to televise the FIFA women's games (stupid) and a crazy deadline at work (even worse than women's FIFA), I haven't been able to fully enjoy my Judge Judy lately.  Buuuut, today's rerun episode made me turn around in my chair and put down my paperwork!  The case: two car salesmen (one currently out of work) in their late 30's/early 40's go on a 10-day golf holiday. One guy claimed it was a work trip/it was a vacation after working hard for 7 months/I worked the whole time/it was leisure....and he said that he did not bring ANY MONEY. Huh? No excuse, like "stolen wallet"...just "I don't bring money anywhere?"  Then there was a bunch of details about money transactions that rivaled a 419 scam.  JJ was making the defendant (a jerk) hot under the collar - so entertaining. His wife looked a mess and was dumb enough to laugh at his jokes (like when he told JJ he'd friend her on Facebook). 

 

JJ unearthed a printed email in which the plaintiff said, "I'll go to court and tell everyone what you really spent that money on.  Do you want that getting out?"  And I am left feeling like the people in the old National Enquirer commercials: "Inquiring minds want to know. I want to know."  Damn- no hallterview tattling.  I guess I'll just stick with my assumptions: skanky call girls and street-grade Viagra.

[califred]

I'm not sure if both the old men are crazy or just the one crawling out the window?

[AngelaHunter]

From what I could glean today - in between crawlers and "breaking news"(which consisted of endless rehashing of old news of escaped convicts) JJ once again makes me deliriously happy for my life.

 

Middleaged Romeo and Juliet, who bunk in some trailer, when they're not sponging off Mom or sister, fighting over loans or bail or whatnot. Def is so disabled he cannot take any job at all and collects 2K/mth in benefits, yet CAN care for his aged Mommy and ride a motorcycle/his girlfriend. You go, Romeo!

[SandyToes]

 

Def is so disabled he cannot take any job at all and collects 2K/mth in benefits, yet CAN care for his aged Mommy and ride a motorcycle/his girlfriend.

 

Looks like I picked the wrong week to run out of blood pressure medicine.  Criminy.

Hellllloooo Ben and Jerry!  Almost as therapeutic...

[Guest]

Because of my local Fox station's need to televise the FIFA women's games (stupid) and a crazy deadline at work (even worse than women's FIFA), I haven't been able to fully enjoy my Judge Judy lately.  Buuuut, today's rerun episode made me turn around in my chair and put down my paperwork!  The case: two car salesmen (one currently out of work) in their late 30's/early 40's go on a 10-day golf holiday. One guy claimed it was a work trip/it was a vacation after working hard for 7 months/I worked the whole time/it was leisure....and he said that he did not bring ANY MONEY. Huh? No excuse, like "stolen wallet"...just "I don't bring money anywhere?"  Then there was a bunch of details about money transactions that rivaled a 419 scam.  JJ was making the defendant (a jerk) hot under the collar - so entertaining. His wife looked a mess and was dumb enough to laugh at his jokes (like when he told JJ he'd friend her on Facebook). 

 

JJ unearthed a printed email in which the plaintiff said, "I'll go to court and tell everyone what you really spent that money on.  Do you want that getting out?"  And I am left feeling like the people in the old National Enquirer commercials: "Inquiring minds want to know. I want to know."  Damn- no hallterview tattling.  I guess I'll just stick with my assumptions: skanky call girls and street-grade Viagra.

 

You though call girls?  I thought drugs. 

 

Stupid guy's wife had some serious baggage under her eyes.  And those two looked oily, didn't they? 

[Brattinella]

Dang. I didn't see either one of those episodes.

[DoctorK]

 

those two looked oily, didn't they?

After years of watching, I suspect that the hotel rooms provided to the plaintiffs and defendants on both JJ and JM do not come with complimentary shampoo, and I am not even going to bet on soap. For some people. high def is not a good thing

Edited June 12, 2015 by DoctorK

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

After years of watching, I suspect that the hotel rooms provided to the plaintiffs and defendants on both JJ and JM do not come with complimentary shampoo, and I am not even going to bet on soap. For some people. high def is not a good thing

I think those little bottles don't contain enough soap/ shampoo to wash the years of stank off most of those oily folk. Yet there's an abundance of hairdos (and hair don'ts), lots of jewlreeey, off the shoulder slimy polyester tops from Cato, and those every popular trash-can-lid earrings. Yet there is a lack of abundance of teefies - priorities, people. You won't look your best on that big screen ya bought with your tax return moolah without all your toofies missing. 

 

I've noticed JJ's staff is picking some cases from a different geographical area - we've seen several cases from Montgomery, Alabama and the handyman who couldn't explain all the extra cash advances was from Orange Beach, Alabama (on the Gulf Coast, mostly ritzy rich people live there). It makes for interesting differences - although I couldn't stop laughing at the girl with her car payments. And I was yelling "bayou hair" at the kids who were playing switch-a-roo with the cars (that's my family's nickname for that haircut on young men with the bangs pushed forward like a 6 year old and cut straight across) Little boy hair on some big juicy grown men folk. 

[Brattinella]

This is such a perfect description!

 

 

off the shoulder slimy polyester tops

 

Can't STAND them!

[Eliza422]

Googly Eyes sighting!!!

There is another frequent audience member who always stands out to me. She's the red head with the glasses that always reflect the green lights/screen in front of them.

I always wonder why they don't make her take them off - those green reflections are very bright!

Here in the Chicago area we used to have older reruns at 2 and 230 - the eps were in the 2008/2009 timeframe, and there was another standout audience member I always called Buck Tooth Betty...I'm not sure she actually had buck teeth but she always had her mouth hanging open. She was quite orange too. She would often lean to look around the plaintiffs / defendants...I miss ol' BTB....

[iwasish]

Was that Susan Sarandon in the motorcycle case?

[AngelaHunter]

And I was yelling "bayou hair" at the kids who were playing switch-a-roo with the cars

 

"Bayou hair!" Finally, a way to describe it. I was set to jeer at the plaintiff until the def., Baby Huey, waddled in and started with the horrific grammar. I was really amazed that he had sufficient brain power to be so shifty.

[zillabreeze]

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ.  The JJ VeHickle triple play almost made my head explode!

Next Sunday, Father's Day, I owe my Dad a giant hug for imparting the wisdom of how to just own a car as a mode of transportation and not a Giant Life Drama.  Simple really.

a) Get a license.

b) Get a job.

c) Save up the purchase price or down payment, insurance and $100.00 for a mechanic look over.

d) Buy what you can afford.  When you are young and broke- that is a hoopty.  Not a Benz.  Wheels have tires that hold air, they do not ride on rims equal to your monthly rent payment.

e) Buy a car from someone with a street address.

f) A car dealer is NOT your friend.  He is not lending you money to be your BFF.  There is interest- simple or compounded.  Learn the difference.

g) Owner of the VeHickle owns the VeHickle until you make the very last payment.  End of Convo.

h) When the insurance co. sends mail with Giant Red Letters- you are NO longer insured.

When I was a 19 yr old idiot and thought I couldn't make my $78.00 mo. car payment, I called my dad, whining.  His answer was roughly "good thing the bus goes by your apartment."

I quickly learned the value of a second job; I have owned decent, insured VeHickles for the last 30 years.

I owe my Dad a giant hug!  I have had plenty of self-inflicted drama in the last 30+ years;  at least VeHickles weren't in the mix.

. 

Edited June 13, 2015 by zillabreeze

[Mondrianyone]

Ahhhh, Googly Eyes!  I finally put two and two together today!  I've been seeing her at practically every case for like months now and I've also been seeing you guys refer to Googly Eyes.  And I, not being chopped liver, suddenly says to myself, "I bet the gaunt-faced woman with the green-reflecting glasses is Googly Eyes!"  So I did a search, and sure enough . . .

 

The only ones I've given names to are Helmet Head and Side Bun.  I don't know if there are already names for them.  I may have to search the whole forum.

 

One little mystery of life solved.  A million more to go.

[zillabreeze]

Is it just me, or has googly eyes amped up her "reactions"?

[LAgator77]

I love all the discussion about Googly Eyes and the other audience members... I actually work on a couple other court shows and our audience overlaps with JJ. If I ever see GE in the audience of one of my shows should I let her know about her "fan club?" I actually feel for those folks, they don't get paid much, but I guess it's better than sitting at home on their asses collecting a check from the government like most of JJ's litigants. 

[NowVoyager]

I'm not sure if both the old men are crazy or just the one crawling out the window?

I've gotta go with both. Both crazy & both just messy! The defendant had a distinctly crazy glint in his eye. He exercised enough restraint to not talk out of turn though; so he contained some of the crazy. As for the plantiff, he thought the defendant was eavesdropping by the door to his room for 5-10 minutes, so he climbed out the window?!? Saw the same dude outside by his car & climbed back in the window? His timeline didn't really make sense, then again neither did his actions---climbing out of windows at his age. (So says the 40-something home nursing sore muscles from activities that didn't use to give me sore muscles...

Edited June 13, 2015 by NowVoyager

[NowVoyager]

I love all the discussion about Googly Eyes and the other audience members... I actually work on a couple other court shows and our audience overlaps with JJ. If I ever see GE in the audience of one of my shows should I let her know about her "fan club?" I actually feel for those folks, they don't get paid much, but I guess it's better than sitting at home on their asses collecting a check from the government like most of JJ's litigants.

I've always wondered if good ole Googly knows about her fan base....

Ummm....I don't know if I'd tell her myself, but! LAgator77 we need you to do reconnaissance & report back! If you should ever see her---are her eyes as hypnotic in person?!?

[AngelaHunter]

zillabreeze, your "Vee-hickle Buying Rules" are spot-on, especially this one:

 

d) Buy what you can afford.

 

Truly a concept that never even whooshes through the mostly empty heads we see here.

 

 I'm just trying to imagine the shock, the eye-rolling, the hands-on-hips belligerence we'd see if ANY of your rules were suggested to our dear litigants.who flip, trade, stockpile and discard vee-hickles the way we kids used to do with comic books.

[BubblingKettle]

I saw the Googly-Eyes lookalike (younger, shorter hair) in the gallery of Divorce Court yesterday.  JJ and DC must be neighbors.

[Jamoche]

 

d) Buy what you can afford.

I heard a radio ad yesterday - some guy whining that for the first time in his life he had to take the bus - horrors! - because the bank took his car back, and no car dealerships would even talk to him. Except of course the advertiser, who sell him a car for a mere $something down. I'm like, dude, Bay Area rapid transit is pretty decent. Either keep taking the bus, or find a car that costs $something - minus some for the insurance. Otherwise you're going to end up on Judge Judy.

[Brattinella]

Yes, Googly-Eyes IS Helmet Head, the straight-across bangs?  Dark hair stary eyes, usually wears a cardigan over a shirt.

[Mondrianyone]

I hate to burst your bubble, but googly eyes doesn't wear glasses. I think your helmet head might be who we call googly eyes. I have seen side bun and she tries to fool you because sometimes she doesn't wear the side bun. I also like the guy who sits in the front sometimes. Wears a white shirt, dark suit and acts like he just left his office for a cup of water in the hall and wound up in the audience.

Ouch!  I could practically feel you bursting my bubble, stewedsquash!  Next time warn me first.

 

I've never seen Helmet Head wear glasses, so I was sure that Googly Eyes was the one whose glasses glow green in the camera light.  Drat.  So do you all have a name for Ghost Glasses?  I want to be on board with this.

 

There are also two blond women who usually, but not always, sit together.  Kind of East Coast, "we like to go sailing" preppy look, long blond hair.  And a woman in her late forties, maybe, with fried-looking blond hair (not Side Bun, who doesn't fool me with that bun). Fried Hair reminds me of one of the contestants on that defunct reality show Chef Academy (jeez, I watch a lot of crap!).  I can't picture the guy you describe, but there's another guy who looks maybe Indian or Pakistani who sits up front on the plaintiff side.  The thing is, all of these people look like they could have better jobs than this.  It's puzzling.

[zillabreeze]

Truly a concept that never even whooshes through the mostly empty heads we see here.

 

there is some kind of mentality out there that is "I exist, therefore, I deserve."  In my JJ market (Dallas) all of the commercial breaks are litigant based.  Payday loans, and especially "amblance" chasers lawyer Dickwads.

 The newest boggles the mind:  good looking. man of color, very buff, says " after my accident,  Lawyer Dickwad got me the truck I DESERVED".. He is standing next to a giant 40K pickup truck.  WTF???

Dude probably got in a accident in his hoopty,  He claims he is all broke down & hurt, yet the sole focus is to put him in  new truck that sits 4 feet off the ground and requires step ladder to access.

 

[Trini]

Dang it! Soccer (Go USA!) is pre-empting an episode I missed the first time around. The one where JJ says "You not even the most good-looking of her tenants!" (Or harem, apparently!)

[BubblingKettle]

There are also two blond women who usually, but not always, sit together.  Kind of East Coast, "we like to go sailing" preppy look, long blond hair.  

 

If one of them looks like she marinated in self-tanner, that's who I call "Orangina." (like the drink)

 

My God.  If these people only knew.  Maybe one day, the JJ gallery will realize how popular they are.

[AngelaHunter]

it goes back to days of yesteryear, when businesses would let you make a purchase and then pay a divided amount for a short period, without interest.

 

Do you speak of the ancient tradition called "Lay away"? That would never fly today, because you couldn't bring the item home until you had - gulp! - paid for it first! We know that now, everyone must have everything the instant they feel the craving. NO waiting, ever!

 

the bank took his car back, and no car dealerships would even talk to him. Except of course the advertiser, who sell him a car for a mere $something down.

 

 

Imagine the gall of the bank, taking his car back just because he didn't pay for it. People like that never factor in interest, which in that example is probably at loan shark level.

[Mondrianyone]

If one of them looks like she marinated in self-tanner, that's who I call "Orangina." (like the drink)

 

My God.  If these people only knew.  Maybe one day, the JJ gallery will realize how popular they are.

I think Orangina's the one!

 

If they knew how much of our attention they're getting, maybe they could negotiate a better deal for themselves.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Do you speak of the ancient tradition called "Lay away"? That would never fly today, because you couldn't bring the item home until you had - gulp! - paid for it first! We know that now, everyone must have everything the instant they feel the craving. NO waiting, ever!

Perish the thought!!! Imagine having to WAIT for something! Someone might spontaneously combust if asked to wait! (I used to use layaway all the time (in fact my Walmart still has layaway for big items for Xmas which I admit to using multiple times in the past) 

[AngelaHunter]

(I used to use layaway all the time

 

Me too. I remember in particular a gorgeous green suede coat. Oh, the day of the final payment when I got it in my hands. It was great! Anticipation CAN be half the thrill.

 

"Cover your ears, darlin's" (credit Doc Holliday) but today? F*cking Bastards! Half hour of repeats first. They flowed so smoothly. Second half hour of new episodes? Well, why don't we just butt in to that with more non-news of the overly-endowed fugitive? I swear, they're doing it on purpose now.

 

But, I did enjoy what was left of the face scratching case. Lisa Lafferty - bull-doggish and burly lowlife, for whom there is no hope. She was so frightened of the plaintiff that she scratched him all to hell like a wild beast. She scratched his face, but someone else must have clawed his arms up, on the very same day!

[SandyToes]

 

Well, why don't we just butt in to that with more non-news of the overly-endowed fugitive? I swear, they're doing it on purpose now.

 We got nuthin' today. All hail Soccer!  (blech)  And won't for the next two or three days. We are expecting more rain, you know.  Enjoy!  i will happily be awaiting the recaps and snarkishness. Just have to get Mr. Toes home from the airport tonight, and then we can settle in.  AngelaHunter, heard on the radio the goons may be in Mexico by now. I'll keep an eye out if they float by. (And man, what a twosome to have on the loose! Bets on when we see this in a TV movie?!)

 

In JJ news, I was watching oldies late last night. Had to mute it and ignore it - just icky people and  cases all around. JJ did a lot of "parenting coaching" to some mom who's do-nothing son "smokes weed."  Son was the def, and mom just sat there on the witness seat. Just yucky. I need me some good fashion, some good names, and some interesting cases. Maybe we should start trolling our own local small claims court docs and see if we can't send her some better cases!

[Rick Kitchen]

I need brain bleach thinking about that defendant and getting her sexy on.  Eek.

[AngelaHunter]

I need brain bleach thinking about that defendant and getting her sexy on.

 

Good ol' Constance. Not sure if brain bleach can eradicate the image of her prancing around in fishnet stockings and leather bustier in front of her goofy all-boi harem. Why does the Wicked Witch fill her house with boys anyway? Doesn't being a dominatrix...I mean - "entertainer" pay the bills? The whole thing was Bizarro-ville.