Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[bob.loblaw]

On 6/24/2018 at 1:04 PM, queenanne said:

Yeah, I was at a wedding this week (not that one lol), and we were informed by a distant relation of the groom's that the bouquet/garter toss are currently considered "out".  However, (1) separate solo reception table for the bride and groom, and (2) wrist corsages for the second tier of female family attendees (grandparents etc.), are "in".  (The wrist corsage thing is an "everything old is new again" resumption of cool.)

I got married 4 years ago and did all of the above!  I did do a bouquet toss but had serious issues with everyone I've ever known watch my husband go up my dress and then throw something to them.  Ick.  I'm as heathen as they come so super surprised the fundies would be okay with that.

[abbey]

Question about the boat ride video.  Is Israel wearing a life preserver??  

[Lukeysboat]

8 minutes ago, abbey said:

Question about the boat ride video.  Is Israel wearing a life preserver??  

He’s wearing a life jacket, yes. 

[truthtalk2014]

Jill is just a special kind of stupid for filming her child when he is so upset.  I want to slap her silly for not wiping his nose that was running into his mouth.   And again, why ask him if he likes the boat when he is crying his eyes out.  Obviously he doesn't.  As someone mentioned earlier, she does remind me of MEchelle filming a kid falling in the pit and the little girl getting her head stuck.  It's all fun and games at the expense of the child. 

AND YES, he needs a freaking hat!  I hope she at least puts sunscreen on him because he is quite pale. 

[BitterApple]

Jill posted subsequent videos where Israel was much happier, but when she asked him why he cried he told her it was because the boat was going fast and bouncing up and down in the waves. It probably would've been nice if his parents had attempted to deduce that while he was upset, but hey, when have a child's feelings ever mattered in their world?

Edited June 26, 2018 by BitterApple

[Normades]

10 hours ago, graefin said:

I've seen a couple of videos now where Derick interacts with Israel in what I would term a normal parental way.

In the boat he takes time to answer Israel's questions about the dock and the movements of the waves (I think Jill tends to be in her own world and largely ignores him), and in another video where they are "camping" in their backyard, Derick comforts Israel when he gets smoke in his eyes by rubbing his back and then making a joke to distract him from his discomfort. I was actually really surprised to see such loving interaction from him. 

Notice that Derick was the first to say, on video, that they found out today that Israel doesn't like boating. When Jill asks Israel if he's having fun, as is her penchant, and he responds "no," she's like, "what?!" as if  she wasn't expecting that answer or that reaction isn't allowed. So at least in this area, I have to give Derick points over Jill. 

I think Jill is treating her kids the way she was treated. Boob and MEschelle probably were sarcastic and made fun of their children at their most vunerable moments. She seems to take joy in humiliating Izzy.

[Loves2Dance]

Videos like that should not be posted---period. Jill does not strike me as a good mom and it breaks my heart that Iz and Sam have to put up with her until they're 18. 

[graefin]

5 hours ago, Normades said:

I think Jill is treating her kids the way she was treated. Boob and MEschelle probably were sarcastic and made fun of their children at their most vunerable moments. She seems to take joy in humiliating Izzy.

I agree that she's raising her kids the way she was raised. I don't necessarily think she's humiliating them on purpose; I just think she's ignorant and truly doesn't know how to be a better parent, or even that she needs to be a better parent. 

[GeeGolly]

25 minutes ago, graefin said:

I agree that she's raising her kids the way she was raised. I don't necessarily think she's humiliating them on purpose; I just think she's ignorant and truly doesn't know how to be a better parent, or even that she needs to be a better parent. 

Agree. Michelle always bragged that she trained herself not to raise her voice with her kids and gave each kid a few minutes to talk with her each week. Apparently those two things are the only things needed to make one a good parent.

[floridamom]

Re: the garter toss....no need for the bride to wear it way up high on her thigh. It can be worn just below the knee.  I have seen brides wear it that way in my time.

How did this tradition get started? Anyone know what it's supposed to signify?

Jill is an idiot. I'm very surprised that NO ONE on Derick's side of the family has stepped up with some good advice on how to COMFORT your child.  I saw no need to let that poor kid be upset and afraid. Jill could have been a caring mother when Izzy was visibly upset and had Derick go to the dock and let them off. She could have sacrificed HER boat ride to help her son. He just turned 3 in April; he's a little guy who needs some love.

[Albanyguy]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Michelle always bragged that she trained herself not to raise her voice with her kids and gave each kid a few minutes to talk with her each week.

And I'd bet that the "few minutes to talk" always turned out to be a list of chores to be done or a little lecture on how lucky the child was to have a wonderful mother like her.

[Jynnan tonnix]

35 minutes ago, Albanyguy said:

And I'd bet that the "few minutes to talk" always turned out to be a list of chores to be done or a little lecture on how lucky the child was to have a wonderful mother like her.

Or a reminder of what irredeemable sinners they are, just in case they ever think they are worth  something as human beings in and of themselves.

[madpsych78]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

Re: the garter toss....no need for the bride to wear it way up high on her thigh. It can be worn just below the knee.  I have seen brides wear it that way in my time.

How did this tradition get started? Anyone know what it's supposed to signify?

Jill is an idiot. I'm very surprised that NO ONE on Derick's side of the family has stepped up with some good advice on how to COMFORT your child.  I saw no need to let that poor kid be upset and afraid. Jill could have been a caring mother when Izzy was visibly upset and had Derick go to the dock and let them off. She could have sacrificed HER boat ride to help her son. He just turned 3 in April; he's a little guy who needs some love.

I don't know if I would have gotten to the point of letting Izzy off as long as he was not in any danger. I don't think that would have helped him overcome his fear of riding on the boat in the long term. That being said, Jill totally responded to Izzy in such a Michelle way and utterly clueless. She could have held him while they were on the boat.

Edited June 26, 2018 by madpsych78
Grammar

[Minivanessa]

3 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

I don't know if I would have gotten to the point of letting Izzy off as long as he was not in any danger. I don't think that would have helped him overcome his fear of riding on the boat in the long term. That being said, Jill totally responded to Izzy in such a Michelle way and utterly clueless. She could have held him while they were on the boat.

Heck, yeah. I'm not even a parent and I know there are better ways to behave with that scared child than his mother did. 

And, so sad and so true: she's modeling the parenting she witnessed growing up Duggar. 

[Normades]

3 hours ago, floridamom said:

Re: the garter toss....no need for the bride to wear it way up high on her thigh. It can be worn just below the knee.  I have seen brides wear it that way in my time.

How did this tradition get started? Anyone know what it's supposed to signify?

From what I've read, the tradition comes from long ago.  Apparently tearing off a piece of the brides gown was considered good luck because the person tearing the piece off would share in the good luck of the bride.  Brides didn't like being torn apart (go figure), so they started wearing a garter that could easily be removed, giving the luck seeker a piece of her clothing and the luck they desired without all the ripping.  Sounds crazy!  If you've read or seen Game of Thrones, they do a "bedding ceremony" where they remove the new couple's clothing as they are dragged to their room to consummate, so maybe that's the basis since GRR Martin uses real history as a foundation for his writing.  There are lots of weird reasons for the traditions around weddings.  It be interesting reading. 

As you stated, no need to put it up high on your leg, if you plan to partake in the tradition.  Also, I'm sick of the stupid jokes where the groom reaches under the dress and pulls out some "hilarious" object.  I did do the garter ritual at my wedding, but that was three decades ago and I would not recommend it now.  I didn't put the garter way up on my leg and my husband took it off without a lot of fanfare.  We saved the fanfare for later! ;)

[ginger90]

Derick has gone off about children being exploited on reality television. Is it different when it’s YouTube? There’s no reason to post many of the videos they have chosen to post, IMO.

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

I don't know if I would have gotten to the point of letting Izzy off as long as he was not in any danger. I don't think that would have helped him overcome his fear of riding on the boat in the long term. That being said, Jill totally responded to Izzy in such a Michelle way and utterly clueless. She could have held him while they were on the boat.

I think all they needed to do was slow the boat down and he would've been fine. Izzy is really good at articulating his thoughts and he specifically said it was the speed that made him afraid. 

[graefin]

29 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I think all they needed to do was slow the boat down and he would've been fine. Izzy is really good at articulating his thoughts and he specifically said it was the speed that made him afraid. 

Wouldn't that have made an interesting video to watch? Seeing Jill respond to Israel's wailing by asking him kindly what was wrong, his telling her he was scared, her further asking why, his clarifying that the speed was the problem, and then Jill telling his father to slow down and then her asking their son if he now felt better? 

Instead she just waits for it to all be over and then asks him after the fact what it was all about. Maybe 20 years from now she'll win a fake Mother of the Year award like her mom.

[Jynnan tonnix]

On 6/25/2018 at 7:05 AM, Jynnan tonnix said:

Is there another photo? In the one I see the picture cuts off at the ankle and I only see a fragment of one strap - not enough to extrapolate to awful or Birkenstocks. and only barely enough to think the  shoes might not entirely match the dress.

Quoting myself to add that for some reason there's a fraction more of the shoe showing on hat photo for me than there was the other day. I have no idea why. The first time I went back to look after some of the original comments were made, it was literally cut off at the ankle with just a fraction of one strap visible. Yesterday I looked again, and could see a little bit of the one strap and the hint of another one. Today I see two straps down to a little past the point that they cross. Anyone else? I still have no idea why that's happening.

That being said, we all know I'm not a shoe person and unless these things are actually falling apart, I'm all for her wearing something she's comfortable in. While the dress is a tad too fitted for it, a bright floral with a sort of rustic sandal can suggest a sort of Bohemian vibe, which is something that, while I cringe to admit it, I seem to share a liking for with Jill. The whole look might be just a tad "off" in this case, but I wouldn't call anything about it "horrible". Jill's nailed "horrible" many times, and this isn't it.

[madpsych78]

24 minutes ago, graefin said:

Wouldn't that have made an interesting video to watch? Seeing Jill respond to Israel's wailing by asking him kindly what was wrong, his telling her he was scared, her further asking why, his clarifying that the speed was the problem, and then Jill telling his father to slow down and then her asking their son if he now felt better? 

Instead she just waits for it to all be over and then asks him after the fact what it was all about. Maybe 20 years from now she'll win a fake Mother of the Year award like her mom.

I doubt she'll win a MOTY award because it's unlikely she'll have as many kids. It's like those folks confuse "mothering" for "birthing." 

I suspect that if Jill and Derick were switched (i.e., Jill was driving), Derick might have done just that (i.e., told Jill to slow down). Because he's the headship yo. 

And ITA that Israel is quite good at using his words for a young three-year-old, even while he was distressed.  

[graefin]

57 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

I doubt she'll win a MOTY award because it's unlikely she'll have as many kids. It's like those folks confuse "mothering" for "birthing." 

I suspect that if Jill and Derick were switched (i.e., Jill was driving), Derick might have done just that (i.e., told Jill to slow down). Because he's the headship yo. 

And ITA that Israel is quite good at using his words for a young three-year-old, even while he was distressed.  

I think Derick might have done so because he seems more capable of having an actual conversation with Israel from what little we've seen. Jill, on the other hand, barely seems able to have a conversation with an adult, let alone a child. Clearly Iz doesn't get his diction from his mother.

[PradaKitty]

There is such a difference between Jill’s timid, frightened (and ignored) children and Jessa’s  happy grinning little guys.  Both Jill and Jessa were raised by the same mother, but are totally different in their parenting. 

[BitterApple]

13 minutes ago, PradaKitty said:

There is such a difference between Jill’s timid, frightened (and ignored) children and Jessa’s  happy grinning little guys.  Both Jill and Jessa were raised by the same mother, but are totally different in their parenting. 

I agree, but I think it goes both ways. I think Spurge gets more affection, but Izzy is light years ahead of him in terms of vocabulary, speech and development. I know he's a little older, but based on all the videos I've seen he comes across as way more advanced. 

[graefin]

9 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I agree, but I think it goes both ways. I think Spurge gets more affection, but Izzy is light years ahead of him in terms of vocabulary, speech and development. I know he's a little older, but based on all the videos I've seen he comes across as way more advanced. 

We haven't seen Spurge talk much at all, have we? I know hardly anything about child development. Iz is six months older than Spurge. Could it be normal for him to be that far ahead of Spurge in terms of language acquisition?

[BitterApple]

7 minutes ago, graefin said:

We haven't seen Spurge talk much at all, have we? I know hardly anything about child development. Iz is six months older than Spurge. Could it be normal for him to be that far ahead of Spurge in terms of language acquisition?

I'm honestly not sure, but compared to other kids I've known his age, Spurge comes off as a little behind. At least in terms of speech, anyways.

[Loves2Dance]

1 hour ago, graefin said:

We haven't seen Spurge talk much at all, have we? I know hardly anything about child development. Iz is six months older than Spurge. Could it be normal for him to be that far ahead of Spurge in terms of language acquisition?

Some kids talk early and some don't. I was the gifted, honor roll, in college 2 years early kid and I didn't talk until I was 3. My older daughter, who seems to be following in my 'smart' footsteps was putting together full sentences at her 12 month well child appointment and blowing the Pediatrician away. 

I honestly don't know if we've seen enough of Spurgie to know if he's behind or not. By Kindergarten kids who were previously advances start to even out with their peers, it's the ones who don't even out that are your stand outs in development. 

[kokapetl]

Slowing the boat down actually makes it more susceptible to the waves, current, and wind. 

Edited June 26, 2018 by Kokapetl

[lookeyloo]

Oh gosh, such variability in speech.  My brother the PhD didn't talk til he was about 3.  also late to potty train and give up his bottle. This was in the olden days.  Recently niece who just finished first year of college didn't say anything but "dah dah" til she was about 3.  She smiled and nodded a lot. Their pediatrician said if she isn't speaking by 3 they would do testing.  Apparently she was just quiet!!

[madpsych78]

1 hour ago, graefin said:

We haven't seen Spurge talk much at all, have we? I know hardly anything about child development. Iz is six months older than Spurge. Could it be normal for him to be that far ahead of Spurge in terms of language acquisition?

I think Izzy's on target. It's true that we haven't seen Spurge talk that much. I don't expect him to be at Izzy's level because of his age, but Spurge should at least be speaking phrases at the age of 2.5 years. Spurge is not expected to be verbally fluent. (Also, at 16 months, Henry should be saying a few words, but not expected to speak in phrases.) It's hard to tell though what Spurge's true communication skills look like. As Jill has upped the posting of her videos, Jessa seems to have waned, so there seems to be fewer Spurge/Henry videos.

[Normades]

30 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

Slowing the boat down actually makes it more susceptible to the waves, current, and wind. 

Not exactly true in my experience.  When a boat like that goes fast it hits waves and wake and jumps, which can be pretty jarring to a little kid, or anyone sensitive.  Plus most boats are pretty open and don't have lots of places to hold.  It can be pretty scary for a first time rider.  You can feel like you're going to fall out, which is why in addition to slowing down, (which they did - I give them that) they should have held him and made him feel secure.  They could have explained in a way he could understand about the waves and slowly get him to enjoy it. Instead, they decided to film his fear and Jill seems to enjoy it.  Not nice and not good parenting.

[Loves2Dance]

I think the reason why Iz & Sam always seem stressed, compared to Spurge/Henry is that Jessa has become laid back in her 'old' age. Jill was the perfect daughter and the stress of being perfect can be a lot to bare. She expected this to be easy because that is what she was trained to think---the idea of having a non-easy kid was foreign to her let alone non-easy births. She doesn't strike me as someone who is even willing to pick up a parenting/baby book to learn about milestones because she expects to just be good at it. Jessa, on the other hand, I think read more than a few non-Pearl parenting books and it's showing. She also has a more stable husband, hasn't moved all over in a small time span and is living the Golden life as the front and center of Counting On. 

[Totally]

On 25/06/2018 at 5:43 AM, cmr2014 said:

Jill looks pretty! The dress is cute, appropriate for the season, and appropriate for her age. Way to go Jill!

Derick looks fine, the kids look a little under-dressed to me, but fine.

I much prefer to say children dressed like Izzy and Sam. I feel so sad when I see little kids stuffed into tight pants, shirts and bow ties, they must be so uncomfortable. 

[ginger90]

Duggar Family Comes Over

Jun 27, 2018 | Family Blog, Photos | 0 

We always love having our family over any chance we get, but it seems like life is crazy and it doesn’t happen as much as we’d like it to! We recently had a bunch of my (Jill’s) family over for a summer cookout. Here are some pictures and videos from that time.

 

 

[3 is enough]

Who is the girl in the jeans?

[DragonFaerie]

3 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

Who is the girl in the jeans?

I believe that is Laura - the tutor who lives at the compound.  

OMG.  Josie is rubbing her finger on the chocolate bar, then licking said finger and rubbing the chocolate again.  ICK!

[Sew Sumi]

I see that Josie is still up to her unsanitary licking. Isn't she 8 years old? She should be way past that.

[dargosmydaddy]

8 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

OMG.  Josie is rubbing her finger on the chocolate bar, then licking said finger and rubbing the chocolate again.  ICK!

It looks like an empty wrapper that she is getting the residue or crumbs out of. I really doubt anyone else will be doing likewise, so no big deal.

Why is Ben sitting away from everyone else?

[ginger90]

24 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

 

Why is Ben sitting away from everyone else?

I’m guessing because of the smoke from the fire.

[Sew Sumi]

16 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I’m guessing because of the smoke from the fire.

If I was Ben, I'd be sitting as far away from those nutjobs as possible.

Edited June 28, 2018 by Sew Sumi

[jcbrown]

1 minute ago, Sew Sumi said:

If I was Ben, I'd be sitting as far away as possible from those nutjobs as possible.

Preferably in a bar.

[GeeGolly]

Instead of Yaaayyyy! she gave us Yuuummmmyyy! She's going rogue. 

[truthtalk2014]

Deredick needed to mow his lawn before he had an outdoor party.

Josie- once a licker- always a licker. 

Edited June 28, 2018 by truthtalk2014

[charmed1]

Derick and his brother give me the creeps. When you zoom in on their picture, you can hear Keith Morrison narrating.

That also looks like the most boring cook out ever known to man.

[Loves2Dance]

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

I see that Josie is still up to her unsanitary licking. Isn't she 8 years old? She should be way past that.

Unofficially, of course, she likely has Sensory Processing Disorder and this is a sensory quirk that the Duggars have ignored and not gotten her the help to overcome. Without intervention, she's not outgrowing it anytime soon. 

My 8 year old has SPD, along with ASD and OCD, and her think was smelling people's arm pits. We have thankfully broken that habit, but sensory kids can do some 'weird' things by neurotypical standards. 

[truthtalk2014]

8 minutes ago, charmed1 said:

Derick and his brother give me the creeps. When you zoom in on their picture, you can hear Keith Morrison narrating.

That also looks like the most boring cook out ever known to man.

OMG!  I love Keith Morrison and can TOTALLY see him narrating the scene in the backyard. 

It was a hot boring night in Arkansas.  Where does he go from there other than the obvious garden that Jill admitted was dying?  

[BitterApple]

52 minutes ago, charmed1 said:

Derick and his brother give me the creeps. When you zoom in on their picture, you can hear Keith Morrison narrating.

That also looks like the most boring cook out ever known to man.

I love Keith Morrison!!!

I agree about the cookout. No music, no energy, no kids running around playing games. It looked like the Duggar siblings were dragged to Jill's house at gunpoint. 

[Zella]

I feel less ashamed admitting this on this forum than I do in real life: I read true crime books and articles to myself in Keith Morrison's voice. And I read a lot of true crime!

[DangerousMinds]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Instead of Yaaayyyy! she gave us Yuuummmmyyy! She's going rogue. 

Why all the extra letters in her words?

[madpsych78]

How is it that three-year-old Israel showed more maturity than eight-year-old Josie?

And in one of the videos, there is an Emily. She looks to be about the same age or somewhat older than Jordyn. 

[Sew Sumi]

Wrong thread, apparently. Oops! ?

Edited June 28, 2018 by Sew Sumi