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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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10 hours ago, charmed1 said:

Wow, I can't know for sure, but that sure as hell looks like a window valance sewn onto the bottom of that dress. It's a pretty dress. I owned a similar one in the 90's that was actually longer than Jill's. I'm sure it's made its way to some thrift shop in Arkansas by now...along with the choker I wore with it. Jill could've bought my dress instead of uglying up a perfectly nice dress with window coverings and Dad slippers.

The arrogance and ignorance of referring to people as "spiritually dead" is just...wow.

I was going to say that maybe she was inspired by Scarlet O'Hara but then I realized Jill probably has no idea who Scarlet O'Hara is. 

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Dear Triple D:

We all know you're home because TLC came callin' and you wanted the paycheck. In the meantime, your newsletter would be more interesting if you would employ a writing style that is more conversational than aspirational.

More questions about what you're doing with the donated money, hm? Are you surprised by this? You shouldn't be.

Here's a piece of advice: Get a job. Your wife does not like Danger America. You'll also both need to be tested for Zika before you add more blessings to your household.

No love, Julie

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1 hour ago, Chicklet said:

This bunch probably doesn't know that black bras are even produced. That's so heathen, ya'll.

I'm so going to hell. Black was my color of choice today. Color isn't an issue given I'm wearing a heavy tee; the black one just happened to be on top of the pile. 

31 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I would wear pink or nude under a sheer panel like that.  They show up less than either white or black. 

I'd go with nude during the day, but at night? Sky's the limit. LOL

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1 hour ago, Chicklet said:

This bunch probably doesn't know that black bras are even produced. That's so heathen, ya'll.

But to women of color a black bra is 'nude'. Wonder if they can wrap their brains around that?

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30 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

But to women of color a black bra is 'nude'. Wonder if they can wrap their brains around that?

This is true.  I snarked once to a friend of mine when I saw these 2 Latinas wearing a black bra under a white blouse because if I did it, it would look tacky because I'm dinner plate porcelain.  My mixed race friend, who is similarly colored to the Latinas, explained to me that a white bra on dark skin stands out more under a white blouse. It was something that I'm grateful that she made me aware of. Surprisingly, under those circumstances, a black bra IS more modest.

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On 10/10/2016 at 8:45 PM, JoanArc said:

Oh, and it sounds like Derick is an end timer. Nice.

Well, that's what this whole cult is about. The whole Gothard thing sails along in the wake of Rushdoony, as did the Vision Forum train. So while Derick apparently didn't grow up in exactly that tradition, I don't think he would have joined up with the Duggars or been attracted to "missions" in quite the way that he has if he weren't inclined to buy that. Among other things, the urgency to convert isn't the same if the end times aren't creeping pretty close.

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11 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I wonder how this money is going directly to the mission? I don't really understand the whole mission thing; are they providing Bibles? Did they build a church? Talking doesn't cost money! Can someone help me understand?

Well, I expect that they are providing Bibles. But if there are no right-thinking missionaries alive and on site to do the right talking, then the mission doesn't happen. In their view, there can't be any conversion without those missionaries to directly carry the word. So feeding and keeping those missionaries on site in Danger America is the direct mission. If Jill and Derick (and their fellow SOSers) starved to death or had to live elsewhere, then the mission simply wouldn't exist because this is a personal conversion mission. What if a church said, "Well, we aren't going to use congregational charity donations to pay this minister or priest because paying him/her a salary that he'll use to buy food and cars and furniture and movie tickets isn't directly contributing to the church's mission"? That would clearly be nuts because having a living minister/priest with a salary to sustain him/herself and family is absolutely crucial to the mission. Mission wouldn't even exist without it. And the same with the SOS deal.

Talking does cost money because the talkers have to be alive, nourished, well and living near the convertees in order to do their talking. Just because the DillDuggs in particular may have another source of cash at present doesn't mean that SOS could just count on a slew of rich people donating all their time to make this talking mission happen. If the DillDuggs had no other source of income (which they may not, soon enough) then wouldn't it be clear that donations to keep them going would be an absolutely essential -- direct -- component of the talk-to-convert mission's existence? Missionaries are the talk-mission.

Seems to me all this confusion comes about because many of us insist on thinking of missions in the other way -- as primarily humanitarian aid projects. But that's not what these people see themselves as doing. In their view, if they don't talk-convert the currently spiritually poor to the correct Jesus, then those folks are going straight to hell and Christ can't even come back to do his end-times thing for the already converted. They see what they're doing as absolutely crucial to the most important thing there is -- bringing about Christ's kingdom with as many people in it as possible. All the humanitarian aid stuff is as nothing compared to that. So what if you're vaccinated and living in an earthquake-proof house if you're going straight to hell for eternity when you die and Christ is prevented from coming back to make Earth his kingdom as soon as he'd like because the conversions aren't going forward? And, yes, that sounds nuts to me. But if I did believe it, I'd think I should do a talk mission in Danger America, just like the DillDuggs do, and I'd also think that paying my salary and plane fare was a direct payment to that vitally important mission.

Those are their premises. Mine are different, but if I had theirs, I'd likely behave the same way they do.

Edited by Churchhoney
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36 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Well, I expect that they are providing Bibles. But if there are no right-thinking missionaries alive and on site to do the right talking, then the mission doesn't happen. In their view, there can't be any conversion without those missionaries to directly carry the word. So feeding and keeping those missionaries on site in Danger America is the direct mission. If Jill and Derick (and their fellow SOSers) starved to death or had to live elsewhere, then the mission simply wouldn't exist because this is a personal conversion mission. What if a church said, "Well, we aren't going to use congregational charity donations to pay this minister or priest because paying him/her a salary that he'll use to buy food and cars and furniture and movie tickets isn't directly contributing to the church's mission"? That would clearly be nuts because having a living minister/priest with a salary to sustain him/herself and family is absolutely crucial to the mission. Mission wouldn't even exist without it. And the same with the SOS deal.

Talking does cost money because the talkers have to be alive, nourished, well and living near the convertees in order to do their talking. Just because the DillDuggs in particular may have another source of cash at present doesn't mean that SOS could just count on a slew of rich people donating all their time to make this talking mission happen. If the DillDuggs had no other source of income (which they may not, soon enough) then wouldn't it be clear that donations to keep them going would be an absolutely essential -- direct -- component of the talk-to-convert mission's existence? Missionaries are the talk-mission.

Seems to me all this confusion comes about because many of us insist on thinking of missions in the other way -- as primarily humanitarian aid projects. But that's not what these people see themselves as doing. In their view, if they don't talk-convert the currently spiritually poor to the correct Jesus, then those folks are going straight to hell and Christ can't even come back to do his end-times thing for the already converted. They see what they're doing as absolutely crucial to the most important thing there is -- bringing about Christ's kingdom with as many people in it as possible. All the humanitarian aid stuff is as nothing compared to that. So what if you're vaccinated and living in an earthquake-proof house if you're going straight to hell for eternity when you die and Christ is prevented from coming back to make Earth his kingdom as soon as he'd like because the conversions aren't going forward? And, yes, that sounds nuts to me. But if I did believe it, I'd think I should do a talk mission in Danger America, just like the DillDuggs do, and I'd also think that paying my salary and plane fare was a direct payment to that vitally important mission.

Those are their premises. Mine are different, but if I had theirs, I'd likely behave the same way they do.

I remember when you opened my eyes to this a while back. But Derick's post confuses me. Food and shelter are the same as airfare in this respect yet Derick pointed out that mission money was not used for airfare, only direct mission needs. Maybe Derick is as confused as I am.

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37 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I remember when you opened my eyes to this a while back. But Derick's post confuses me. Food and shelter are the same as airfare in this respect yet Derick pointed out that mission money was not used for airfare, only direct mission needs. Maybe Derick is as confused as I am.

Oh, I expect he's way more confused than you are! In every respect! .... I wonder whether he said the thing about airfare, though, because of the (correct!) perception that the airfare pays for them to take "vacations" back to Arkansas -- and so it's not supporting them "on the mission field" proper?

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Quote

the spiritually dead of Central America

Oh, you mean The Catholics.  The ones who don't know who Jesus is, although he's hanging on a cross all over the country.  WTH???

Quote

Do they not realize that so many people manage to get their Bachelor's/Masters/PhDs all while raising families at the same exact time? 

Kellyanne Conway, who has the biggest and also worst job in America, has FOUR kids (found that out via SNL skit last Saturday).  And they look to be all under 10 or so.

By the way Giant White Baby is looking really cute in these Fall colors. He usually has an adorable, "Look at just how cute I am!!" smile.

Edited by WhineandCheez
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4 hours ago, WhineandCheez said:

Oh, you mean The Catholics.  The ones who don't know who Jesus is, although he's hanging on a cross all over the country.  WTH???

Kellyanne Conway, who has the biggest and also worst job in America, has FOUR kids (found that out via SNL skit last Saturday).  And they look to be all under 10 or so.

By the way Giant White Baby is looking really cute in these Fall colors. He usually has an adorable, "Look at just how cute I am!!" smile.

Yep, it's us heathen Catholics who went to Danger America first and converted all the indigenous people to our ways that have screwed up the end times for the 'real Christians'.  And we're also some of those who remember the part of the Bible that comes before Revelations/the rapture where Jesus says to tale care of the poor; feed and clothe 'em and such. 

What I'd like to see from Derick and Dullard Ministries is the same as I'd expect from any other charity asking for my money; an annual report detailing how much was collected and where it went.  Of course, Derick and the Missus should take a modest salary to cover their living expenses (El Salvador is very inexpensive compared to the US; they can live there more cheaply than they can in the US, if it wasn't for the inlaws).  And a part of that salary should cover a trip or two to the US over the course of a year.   I'd love to see a real breakdown of what has been donated and what has been spent.  As someone who does actual missions with the heathen Catholics to El Salvador where we volunteer our time and pay our own way and our parish pays for our room and board down there; I'd like to see them do what our group does every year: account for every dime.

Edited by doodlebug
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44 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Yep, it's us heathen Catholics who went to Danger America first and converted all the indigenous people to our ways that have screwed up the end times for the 'real Christians'.  And we're also some of those who remember the part of the Bible that comes before Revelations/the rapture where Jesus says to tale care of the poor; feed and clothe 'em and such. 

What I'd like to see from Derick and Dullard Ministries is the same as I'd expect from any other charity asking for my money; an annual report detailing how much was collected and where it went.  Of course, Derick and the Missus should take a modest salary to cover their living expenses (El Salvador is very inexpensive compared to the US; they can live there more cheaply that they can in the US, if it wasn't for the inlaws).  And a part of that salary should cover a trip or two to the US over the course of a year.   I'd love to see a real breakdown of what has been donated and what has been spent.  As someone who does actual missions with the heathen Catholics to El Salvador where we volunteer our time and pay our own way and our parish pays for our food and transport down there; I'd like to see them do what our group does every year: account for every dime.

As an accountant, you would expect that Derick's first thought would be to account for the monies contributed.

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If Dillard Ministries is a 503(c)(3) organization, which it must be for donations to be tax-exempt, then it must file a 990 form with the IRS.  If the form is not filed, they will eventually lose their non-profit status.

As an accountant, Derrick should be aware of this requirement.

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4 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

As an accountant, you would expect that Derick's first thought would be to account for the monies contributed.

End times Christian first. Duggar-adjacent infected with Duggar-Grift-Itis second. Accountant distant third.

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12 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I remember when you opened my eyes to this a while back. But Derick's post confuses me. Food and shelter are the same as airfare in this respect yet Derick pointed out that mission money was not used for airfare, only direct mission needs. Maybe Derick is as confused as I am.

He likely added that tidbit because he and Jill got a ton of well-deserved flack for their trips back to Arkansas after only being in Danger America for something like a month. It was so bad that Derrick offered to return donations to anyone who wanted their money back. 

4 hours ago, Mrs. P. said:

If Dillard Ministries is a 503(c)(3) organization, which it must be for donations to be tax-exempt, then it must file a 990 form with the IRS.  If the form is not filed, they will eventually lose their non-profit status.

As an accountant, Derrick should be aware of this requirement.

I just came here to ask about that. Has that info been made public yet? I'm dying to know just how much people were dumb enough to donate and what the Dullards wasted that money on.

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Apologies to all Catholics, but as a Godless heathen, I'm kind of glad that these groups are wasting their time bothering people who are already religious, and leaving us non-religious folk alone.

Izzy's pumpkin picture is cute. I like his colourful shoelaces.

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2 hours ago, kalamac said:

Apologies to all Catholics, but as a Godless heathen, I'm kind of glad that these groups are wasting their time bothering people who are already religious, and leaving us non-religious folk alone.

 

That's hysterical! 

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Wedding venue? We know where Jinger was a couple of days ago...

Of course, they are known to post pics that are weeks or even months old, so this could have been taken a while ago. Jessa's about 5 months pregnant now; if this pic is recent, she's carrying kind of small. 

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10 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Jessa could wear a shirt similar to Joy's, rather than the clingy stretchy too long top she is wearing.

But then she wouldn't be showing the world she's pregnant. 

I'm struck by the variety of face shapes in that photo. 

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6 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Is it me, or does Izzy spend more time than the average kid confined to a playpen? My kids never tolerated them, so I only used playpens as a crib for sleeping when visiting somewhere.

We had an old fashioned Cosco mesh playpen and I only used it if I had to put them someplace safe when I used the bathroom. That was back in the olden days. 

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On ‎10‎/‎16‎/‎2016 at 5:35 AM, GeeGolly said:

Is it me, or does Izzy spend more time than the average kid confined to a playpen? My kids never tolerated them, so I only used playpens as a crib for sleeping when visiting somewhere.

It's the modern fundie equivalent of blanket training, methinks.  I guess we should all be glad there isn't barbed wire around the top of the thing.  Your kids might not have tolerated playpens, but you probably didn't think of whacking them with a spoon when they protested.  I don't know that Jill is doing that to Izzy, I hope to God she isn't, but a kid Izzy's age needs more room to explore than a playpen provides.  Not that Izzy's needs are even in the equation for these folks.

I love how the family Instagram talks about Jill's 'temporary' presence in Arkansas.  Good lord!  She's been back more than 2 months this time and it's not even her first trip this year!  No signs they're going back anytime soon.  Jill has spent far more time with her sisters this year than I have with mine who both live within 30 minutes' drive.  These people seem utterly terrified of the real world and being out in it without the rest of the pack.

Edited by doodlebug
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I never used a playpen with my kids.  I shut doors to rooms they shouldn't go into or used baby gates.  For the most part, I felt that my kids should be able to explore their own home.  I didn't need TLC to tell me to baby proof things like electrical outlets or cabinets that contained dangerous things like bleach. 

I tried to do the things that took a lot of time when the kids were down for a nap or another responsible person was there to help out.  When that wasn't possible I'd put the baby in a high chair nearby.  I'd talk to them, sing silly songs, swap out toys frequently, etc, so they wouldn't feel trapped.  For our family, that wasn't so terrible, because I didn't have a ton of kids and I didn't have them back to back. 

The one time I owned a playpen, it was given to me.  I was on my last kid and doing a lot of babysitting.  Even then, when I was allowed by the state to have up to ten kids at a time, and had a dispensation to have three kids under the age of two, I didn't use the playpen for the kids.  I used it for the cat.  She'd had kittens and I didn't want the kids to be able to handle the baby kitties if I wasn't right there to supervise.  Even that didn't last long because the kittens soon learned to claw their way up the mesh sides and out to freedom.  Mama kitty and her babies were moved to the back porch where the kittens could explore and do their thing until I found homes for them.  Mama kitty got fixed right after that.  I don't think she minded.

Babies need to explore, whether they are animal or human.  The adults are supposed to watch and provide the safest environment possible, but those babies need to get out and move around.  How can you teach your offspring to survive and thrive in the world if they're never allowed to experience it?

Edited by Zahdii
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15 minutes ago, Zahdii said:

I

Babies need to explore, whether they are animal or human.  The adults are supposed to watch and provide the safest environment possible, but those babies need to get out and move around.  How can you teach your offspring to survive and thrive in the world if they're never allowed to experience it?

I think you've summed up the reason that the Duggars are the Duggars.  Look at the family and you'll see a bunch of people who've been literally or figuratively penned up and controlled by their parents their entire lives and prevented from experiencing the world. 

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What's weird about the playpen use to me is that they use it when they're apparently not at all busy. If you need to get something done then by all means, stick the kid in a playpen for a little while. But you're right there not doing anything of note ? Why?

I'm still so annoyed over that "spiritually dead" comment. I'm passionately against giving my money to religious organizations but I'm seriously considering donating to Catholic charities in the Dullards' names. I'm all about doing good while upsetting these people at the same time. Ben and Jessa get Planned Parenthood, Derrick and Jill will get Catholic Charities. 

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1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

It's the modern fundie equivalent of blanket training, methinks.  I guess we should all be glad their isn't barbed wire around the top of the thing.  Your kids might not have tolerated playpens, but you probably didn't think of whacking them with a spoon when they protested.  I don't know that Jill is doing that to Izzy, I hope to God she isn't, but a kid Izzy's age needs more room to explore than a playpen provides.  Not that Izzy's needs are even in the equation for these folks.

I love how the family Instagram talks about Jill's 'temporary' presence in Arkansas.  Good lord!  She's been back more than 2 months this time and it's not even her first trip this year!  No signs they're going back anytime soon.  Jill has spent far more time with her sisters this year than I have with mine who both live within 30 minutes' drive.  These people seem utterly terrified of the real world and being out in in without the rest of the pack.

I'll bet if we'd had a camera on the real goings-on in Duggardom all these years, we'd be stunned at how many times and in how many ways the message was sent that they have to fear people like the rest of us because we're all Satan's minions, consciously or not, and are all always primed and ready to drag them down to hell.

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On 10/14/2016 at 5:09 PM, GeeGolly said:

Jessa could wear a shirt similar to Joy's, rather than the clingy stretchy too long top she is wearing.

She'll wear the one Joy has on AFTER the baby...right now it's all cling / all the time. Must show off the bump.

The bushes of that place (venue) are better trimmed than that horrible hair on all of them. They would look great with at least half the length gone.

Izzy is adorable , especially because he looks the least like Boob/Joshley than all the grandboys.

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On ‎10‎/‎3‎/‎2016 at 2:02 PM, Saytura said:

My mother in law is part of a woman's-only bible study that's part of a national group affiliated with the Baptists, I think.  I usually start tuning her out when she starts in on it.  It's offered through her church, but you don't have to be a member to join and many churches offer it.  It's supposed to teach you the bible from the woman's perspective.  She does say it's pretty intense and harder then some of her basic college courses.  I forget the name of it off the top of my head.  Each "semester" they concentrate on one section of the bible, so you have to go for many years if you want to learn the whole thing.

They do have homework they do on a weekly basis in the form of "questions".  You can answer them in any format, but it's supposed to help you for the next week's lesson.  If you don't do the questions, you're screwed at the lesson since they expect you to do the homework.  I think my MIL said the instructor will read their answers, but nothing is for a "grade".  I'm sure if it's tied to the SBC, Derick makes Jill do a decent job so she makes a good impression to any higher-ups that would evaluate them for placement one day.  It's also a good way to get Jill introduced to high-level thought processes without the pressure of a pass/fail grade.

I was in one of these a few years ago. More homework than a lot of college classes. Required reading, big workbook, lots of applied thinking questions, etc.  Of course correct responses were all geared toward interpreting scripture from an Evangelical standpoint (not fundie), but it did direct people in the class to actually find the scriptural basis for the church's doctrinal statements. Most of the women in the class were college educated, most from public schools, many were SAHMs who still wanted some stimulation past Dora and Doc McBuffins. I guess it was good fellowship and brain stimulation from that standpoint. I just didn't have the time to put in hours of studying after working all day and helping coach a middle school dance team in the evenings, plus other family obligations.

Now as for grades and credit - there were none. Even if they gave grades, it led to nothing but personal education. If I wanted more than Bible knowledge and fellowship, I'd just take a college class and at least get some academic credit for it. I think you could have your pastor and instructor sign some form and the publisher would sent you a certificate of complete, which is worth about as much as the paper it is printed on, but hey, for people like Jill, I completely agree that it's better than the SOTDRT and at least requiring her to read books, read the actual Bible instead of wisdom booklets, etc.

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Dill and Dreck should take a page out of the local JW group's playbook. They send out two women to sit in their car at the 7-11 at 7 am to bother all the patrons. I know these ladies so well now that I just wave and shake my head and they don't even get out of the car. I think they are saving a ton on literature because I have never seen anyone take anything.

Think of the savings in air fare.

"We tried so hard to save souls. But I got this nifty Slurpee"

Edited by Chicklet
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17 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Is it me, or does Izzy spend more time than the average kid confined to a playpen? My kids never tolerated them, so I only used playpens as a crib for sleeping when visiting somewhere.

It looks like that's exactly what Derick is doing in the pic. They're obviously in a hotel room and there's a sheet in the playpen. Derick may be getting dressed or getting ready for bed himself. 

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3 hours ago, Clemgo3165 said:

It looks like that's exactly what Derick is doing in the pic. They're obviously in a hotel room and there's a sheet in the playpen. Derick may be getting dressed or getting ready for bed himself. 

I'm a bit of a germophobe. I wouldn't want my kid toddling around a hotel room.

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8 hours ago, MischaMouse said:

I'm a bit of a germophobe. I wouldn't want my kid toddling around a hotel room.

I'm not really a germophobe. And I still wouldn't want my kid toddling around a hotel room.

Don't need to feel phobic for taking sensible precautions.

Edited by Churchhoney
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On 10/16/2016 at 9:59 AM, ginger90 said:

Jill said they would be here longer if there are weddingS. Plural, so, I would say they are going to stretch their "visit".

We already know of two: JinJer's and Dan Dillard's on 11/12. Depending on whether they do the Honduras mission on 12/3, if they only do the El Salvador/Guatemala one, they don't have to return until around 12/8.

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He's not going with the Constitution Party? Those wackos are more his speed.

eta: Arkansas is one of the few states that the pundits put in the Trump Stronghold column. He COULD vote his conscience. That he will supporting this womanizing, lying, cheating scumbag seems to be at conflict with his Save the World (from spiritually dead people like Trump) mindset. 

eta2: I just checked his Twitter, and he must have taken down his post (didn't he know he was going to get blasted from BOTH sides of the aisle?). He just talks about voting 8000 miles away four years ago. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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