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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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I don't know. After reading Derick's blog I think he is right where he wants to be. The more I read about missions, I'm thinking Derick is feeling successful in his endeavor.

I do agree that he was probably surprised at how dependent Jill is, and Jill might have been surprised too, at how dependent she is.

And because of Jill's dependency, I think they jumped the gun in becoming missionaries. I believe that Jill's lack of education messed up their plans, because as earlier posts noted, you actually need a degree to work for an established mission company. I believe that is where The Dillard Family Ministry grew out of, because they assumed incorrectly that they could get hired by SOS.  

I'm thinking SOS loop holed Jill's midwifery certificate in as some type of educational exception, because when they first went to CA they were not working for SOS. It wasn't until after they came home and Jill tested for her certificate that they went back as SOS missionaries.

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Ok, group consensus:

Derick is a wacky guy.  ;)  We had hopes...he didn't look that bad in the beginning.  But sadly, he is a dullard. We can't figure him out because he can't even figure himself out!

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We don't really know what Derick is like, whether he is smart, has a sense of humor or goals etc.  We can't know because no one in this family reveals their true selves and we only see the fake, pious, sanitized version.  

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2 hours ago, BetyBee said:

We don't really know what Derick is like, whether he is smart, has a sense of humor or goals etc.  We can't know because no one in this family reveals their true selves and we only see the fake, pious, sanitized version.  

Exactly. They hide under thick, smothering layers of piety so that even their love notes and birthday wishes are lifeless  platitudes. This is what happens when a belief structure focusses so rigidly on appearances. Derrick's greetings-from-the-heart-of-darkness letter is generic as a bucket of wallpaper paste, just like everything they say and do. I see his globe-trotting-earth-daddy behavior as almost a direct corollary to Ben's sick-hip-hop-rap-daddy fiasco. It's all a desperate effort to find some personal distinction while drowning in an ocean of bland, smiling, rigid conformity. All of Ben's attempts at social media preaching to a lost world are the same thing; he's not equipped to express nuanced thinking, so he turns up the volume with fire and brimstone. Giant yawn. Original thought? Not likely, unless one of them makes a break for the fences. And baby, am I ever keeping my fingers crossed that one of them gets out!

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(edited)
On 5/21/2016 at 3:41 PM, bigskygirl said:

I am totally speechless after reading this.   http://www.dillardfamily.com/2016/5/hello-from-the-dillards

So Derrick's FU-interwebs "we are SO helping people!" was a little more specific this time, but still laughable. They're teaching local people the revolutionary, previously-unheard-of-in-Danger-America art of jewelry crafting? So they can what, set up a booth at Burning Man?  What happens when they run out of "donated supplies"? Who is going to fork over the monumental hunk of love offering for the chains and the polymer clay and the clasps and the needlenosed pliers and crap? Inquiring minds want to know. "Skills training" indeed. Nice try, Dullard. You still aren't helping.

Edited by Aja
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1 hour ago, Aja said:

So Derrick's FU-interwebs "we are SO helping people!" was a little more specific this time, but still laughable. They're teaching local people the revolutionary, previously-unheard-of-in-Danger-America art of jewelry crafting?  So they can what, set up a booth at Burning Man?  What happens when they run out of "donated supplies"? Who is going to fork over the monumental hunk of love offering for the chains and the polymer clay and the clasps and the needlenosed pliers and crap? Inquiring minds want to know. "Skills training" indeed. Hilarious.

Exactly.  The jewelry making micro business is not a new idea, and many stores like Whole Foods let you donate at times. At least WF sets them up for fair trade instead of pennies. Central American women, particularly those of Mayan descent are already often accomplished at needlework and beading and other indigenous handicrafts. Other than furnishing art supplies, what else are they really doing. I guess their hearts are in the right place, even though they have again proven themselves to be totally ignorant of the masses they are trying to convert to their brand of evangelical Christianity,

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8 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

(snip)

And because of Jill's dependency, I think they jumped the gun in becoming missionaries. I believe that Jill's lack of education messed up their plans, because as earlier posts noted, you actually need a degree to work for an established mission company. I believe that is where The Dillard Family Ministry grew out of, because they assumed incorrectly that they could get hired by SOS.  

I'm thinking SOS loop holed Jill's midwifery certificate in as some type of educational exception, because when they first went to CA they were not working for SOS. It wasn't until after they came home and Jill tested for her certificate that they went back as SOS missionaries.

I think there may be some confusion about the official SBC missions and SOS.  SOS is an independent organization and apparently has very few, if any, regulations about its missionaries.  SBC has very detailed requirements and more people applying than they accept.  I think Derick and Jill went the SOS way because they already knew the guy who runs it and it was almost immediate vs years of schooling to even be eligible to apply for the SBC program. 

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As we look for a full-time pastor, I am continuing to preach for the church we serve with 1-2 times per week, as well as encouraging the missionary heart of this body.  God has blessed the efforts in a local village where we continue to serve weekly through a Bible study and skills training. 

Does this mean they work 2-3 days a week? 1-2 times per one church and once in a village. Or worse, these sentences refer to the same location and they do mission work 1-2 per week total?

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How do men become men when they are raised in a family where you have 18 other siblings and no other outside influences? Marriage and children are a shock to most of us. I cannot even imagine trying to navigate those life-changing events after living such a sheltered life. I hope that ignorance is at least bliss for the Duggars and their +1s.

Some missionaries respond to the call and do it for a few years. They have stories to tell about adjusting to the culture, teaching, and even building. Both sides are better for the experience. Others (Duggars/+1) use it to avoid living a traditional life where they have to be more accountable, like holding a job or building a future. It is so sad for the next generation of Duggars.

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8 hours ago, Absolom said:

I think there may be some confusion about the official SBC missions and SOS.  SOS is an independent organization and apparently has very few, if any, regulations about its missionaries.  SBC has very detailed requirements and more people applying than they accept.  I think Derick and Jill went the SOS way because they already knew the guy who runs it and it was almost immediate vs years of schooling to even be eligible to apply for the SBC program. 

Thanks for the clarification. I was confusing the two.

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7 hours ago, Showthyme said:

How do men become men when they are raised in a family where you have 18 other siblings and no other outside influences? Marriage and children are a shock to most of us. I cannot even imagine trying to navigate those life-changing events after living such a sheltered life. I hope that ignorance is at least bliss for the Duggars and their +1s.

Some missionaries respond to the call and do it for a few years. They have stories to tell about adjusting to the culture, teaching, and even building. Both sides are better for the experience. Others (Duggars/+1) use it to avoid living a traditional life where they have to be more accountable, like holding a job or building a future. It is so sad for the next generation of Duggars.

Perhaps they also realize how unprepared they are for the rigors of holding a job outside the compound, so being on the mission field is regarded as a respectable way of life in their world (aka Duggar approved). It's sort of like back in the day that kids who they just couldn't marry off for whatever reason were pushed off onto a convent or monastery. It was considered a perfectly respectable way to deal with those who didn't quite conform to the expectations their families had of them.

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(edited)

You mean you can't get a grasp on a person's sense of humor when your entire dating experience consists of chaperoned texting of favorite bible verses? Coulda fooled me.

Edited by Quilt Fairy
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11 hours ago, bluefaun said:

Does this mean they work 2-3 days a week? 1-2 times per one church and once in a village. Or worse, these sentences refer to the same location and they do mission work 1-2 per week total?

And they are still preaching to the masses in English?

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The only way that craftsman, craftswomen stuff would be ok would if a smart, energetic, money hungry person with insight showed. up.   Kind of like a developing world shark tank character.  They's get the supplies down to minimal cost, simplify design, speed up production, and establish markets and financial needs.  They would establish supply routes and get the necessary licenses and export paperwork in place.  Then they would have actually helped the villages and let them attribute it to jesus.  Jesus wasn't beyond making a buck. He worked for his father the majority of life.  He helped fishermen.  I don't think Joseph waited around for his son to miraculousy create goods to sell or fix broken items.  He worked.   Hail to capitalism.

 

BTW I think I heard someplace today there are now over 150 pregnant women in the U.S.  with Zika virus.  I hope they did not have the problem during whatever weeks in pregnancy the most serious errors to the fetus occur.  I would consider it beyond cruel, sinful really, to birth a baby with the most severe form and have the poor thing crying in pain for a few years until they died.  That's ungodly to me.  It's horribly sad, but I'd let it go if possible.  It's not of nothing that the governments and the Pope have advised against pregnancy in these countries for a few years.  Fundys would probably say it is god's will and I don't believe in a god like this, and neither does the Popel  I think we'll see an increase in abandonment or murder of these afflicted ones.  Nobody can listen to the painful cries for years.

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20 hours ago, Aja said:

So Derrick's FU-interwebs "we are SO helping people!" was a little more specific this time, but still laughable. They're teaching local people the revolutionary, previously-unheard-of-in-Danger-America art of jewelry crafting? So they can what, set up a booth at Burning Man?  What happens when they run out of "donated supplies"? Who is going to fork over the monumental hunk of love offering for the chains and the polymer clay and the clasps and the needlenosed pliers and crap? Inquiring minds want to know. "Skills training" indeed. Nice try, Dullard. You still aren't helping.

Cause Guatemala clearly has no tradition of jewelry making. That idea has to be imported from Arkansas. 

http://www.vagabondjourney.com/209-0039-mayan-jewelry-clothing.shtml

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As we look for a full-time pastor, I am continuing to preach for the church we serve with 1-2 times per week, as well as encouraging the missionary heart of this body.  God has blessed the efforts in a local village where we continue to serve weekly through a Bible study and skills training. 

Can anyone translate the bolded phrase into English for me? Does "body" mean "church"? How does he "encourage" a "missionary heart" - whatever that may be? Is "encouraging" an actual task? Maybe he slips little comments into all his conversations to keep the flock happy that they are following Jesus the right way (vs. the errors of any other Christian church). Or does he just think encouraging thoughts about the Missionary Heart Of This Body as he goes about his daily routine?

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It means (I think) that he encourages the body of believers to continue to have a desire to reach out to the unsaved. 

The body of believers might be SOS missionaries who are tired, weak and worn out from working so hard. (I can barely type that).  The challenges on the mission field are so great. The danger, famine, death, sickness, violence...but they press forward to bring the message of salvation to the Danger Americans. 

So Derick might be holding little support groups where he gives inspiring and encouraging talks. 

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7 minutes ago, Marigold said:

It means (I think) that he encourages the body of believers to continue to have a desire to reach out to the unsaved. 

The body of believers might be SOS missionaries who are tired, weak and worn out from working so hard. (I can barely type that).  The challenges on the mission field are so great. The danger, famine, death, sickness, violence...but they press forward to bring the message of salvation to the Danger Americans. 

So Derick might be holding little support groups where he gives inspiring and encouraging talks. 

Thanks. That makes sense. I was wondering if he thought encouraging missionary thoughts while on the crapper each morning and counted that as his "encouraging the missionary heart of this body." 

And I adore the mental image of all those "tired, weak and worn out from working so hard" groups of missioncationers. LOL.

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I believe many missionaries are tired and worn out. And humanitarian workers. And anyone who works with a population whose needs are great. 

I don't think that Jill and Derick fall into that group judging from what we have seen on TV and what they post. Maybe they are doing amazing things but we are not seeing it or reading about it. 

So, who knows what the heck Derick is rambling about...could be any number of things that float through his mind and he writes them down. 

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(edited)
45 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Maybe they are doing amazing things but we are not seeing it or reading about it. 

How can you say that? You DID read about the crafting and the hair clippers, didn't you? 

Edited by Aja
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1 hour ago, Marigold said:

I believe many missionaries are tired and worn out. And humanitarian workers. And anyone who works with a population whose needs are great. 

I don't think that Jill and Derick fall into that group judging from what we have seen on TV and what they post. Maybe they are doing amazing things but we are not seeing it or reading about it. 

So, who knows what the heck Derick is rambling about...could be any number of things that float through his mind and he writes them down. 

Thought you'd all enjoy this gem that I pulled out of the archives from the Life of Brian...made me think of Dullard preaching...please enjoy.  For it is written in the Book of Cyril: 

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It might work better if you find out what skill set the village has, and try to find a global/local market for that item. Much more practical than creating the skill for the village where they may not have access to all the raw materials.  Think 'the Body Shop' and those big name stores that purchase baskets and textiles. 

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I really think Derick is just plain nuts. 

Jill is immature. Jessa is a bitch. Ben is a cocky know it all.  

After following this couple for 2 years, I think Derick is really crazy. He grew up with what seems to be normal parents (although we never know what goes on behind closed doors), a college education, time in Nepal, real jobs and exposure to other ideas/cultures/religions etc. 

And THIS is the best he can do? 

This guy is really out there. I think he is delusional and erratic. He fooled me. I thought he was going to be a decent, regular kinda guy...maybe in a religion that I'm not into but a reasonable guy.  Whoaaa....totally not the case. The surgery, which seems to be horrible, has really taken its toll on him.  Plus his mother with cancer.  Derick is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. 

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On 5/24/2016 at 6:06 AM, Marigold said:

So Derick might be holding little support groups where he gives inspiring and encouraging talks. 

It's Christianese for "We're still working with the same five people and hoping nobody will notice."

The only support group he's meeting with is his immediate family and (maybe) whoever it is that runs SOS. He's not "encouraging" anyone because he can't speak the language!

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9 hours ago, Quilt Fairy said:

I can make more sense out of the Book Cyril than that mishmash of words and phrases that Dullard strings together.

Triple D's "missions letter" is straight out of Christianese 101. It doesn't sound impressive if one refers to the "congregation". They call it "the body of Christ", the "communion of the saints", bla bla bla. They talk about "growing/nurturing the heart for missions" -- getting people to part with funds to support the effort to God-bother the unsaved. Those who write in this fashion think they're impressing others with their piety and their "seeking the lost".

1 hour ago, Marigold said:

 Derick is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. 

There's a reason why Triple D could not find a suitable mate in college, why he married a woman he hardly knew, why he is now running away from adult responsibilities and dealing with his in-laws.

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They call it "the body of Christ", the "communion of the saints", bla bla bla. 

10 minutes ago, Missy Vixen said:

They call it "the body of Christ", the "communion of the saints", bla bla bla. 

Yow, straight outta Catholicism.

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4 hours ago, Marigold said:

I really think Derick is just plain nuts. 

Jill is immature. Jessa is a bitch. Ben is a cocky know it all.  

After following this couple for 2 years, I think Derick is really crazy. He grew up with what seems to be normal parents (although we never know what goes on behind closed doors), a college education, time in Nepal, real jobs and exposure to other ideas/cultures/religions etc. 

And THIS is the best he can do? 

This guy is really out there. I think he is delusional and erratic. He fooled me. I thought he was going to be a decent, regular kinda guy...maybe in a religion that I'm not into but a reasonable guy.  Whoaaa....totally not the case. The surgery, which seems to be horrible, has really taken its toll on him.  Plus his mother with cancer.  Derick is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, he's got a bride with the maturity of a 14 year old who clings to him like a barnacle and barely lets him go to the toilet by himself.  

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Quote

 

It's Christianese for "We're still working with the same five people and hoping nobody will notice."

And they're too dub to realize the five people won't convert and are just doing it for money/attention/babysitting/lulz.

 

i doubt Derick is crazy. Just an extremely fearful/inadequate beta male that's drawn to this lifestyle like a moth to a flame. If he'd had the balls to ask a girl out after bible club in college he'd never have gotten into this mess. An object lesion in being bold and assertive.

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6 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

And they're too dub to realize the five people won't convert and are just doing it for money/attention/babysitting/lulz.

 

i doubt Derick is crazy. Just an extremely fearful/inadequate beta male that's drawn to this lifestyle like a moth to a flame. If he'd had the balls to ask a girl out after bible club in college he'd never have gotten into this mess. An object lesion in being bold and assertive.

Or ... he and his Bible study mate would be in CA doing missionary work.

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Or ... he and his Bible study mate would be in CA doing missionary work.

At lest he'd likely be in a saner relationship. Maybe with a woman that could be a real missionary. He'd likely not be in CA with SOS, Jill's family's relationship with them got him that job.

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(edited)
1 hour ago, JoanArc said:

And they're too dub to realize the five people won't convert and are just doing it for money/attention/babysitting/lulz.

 

i doubt Derick is crazy. Just an extremely fearful/inadequate beta male that's drawn to this lifestyle like a moth to a flame. If he'd had the balls to ask a girl out after bible club in college he'd never have gotten into this mess. An object lesion in being bold and assertive.

Let's not forget that Triple D didn't initiate the relationship with Jill, either. Boob, who knows a sucker when he meets one, set them up. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
Stupid phone stuff
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On 5/22/2016 at 8:18 AM, Churchhoney said:

Good point. Actual humor -- rather than mean passive aggressive and practical jokes, the Dug specialty -- requires recognition of and appreciation for ambiguity. That's the biggest thing that the Jim Bob and Gothard philosophy will not and cannot tolerate. Unfortunately, JB and M have passed this on as a sacred law to their unfortunate children. If you want to be able to crack a joke unmolested, don't marry a Duggar. No wonder JB can't find any more marriage candidates. Long may allt he candidates resist, too. Maybe if none of the kids can find a spouse, they'll begin to wake up and realize it's time to abandon the tinkertoy house of horrors.

Don't forget irony, and/or the previous discussion we had a few months back about how figurative language is Teh Ebil.  

If any time you spend in this world, you have dunned into you that you "can't lie, and must only say things that are true", you see how interesting and funny you can be in your resultant conversation, lol.

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(edited)
On 5/26/2016 at 0:45 PM, Kokapetl said:

His whole description of how the mission to Central American idea came about read like it came from voices in his head. 

That's a pretty good description of at least 95 percent of everything Duggars (and now Duggars-in-law) say, seems to me. They'd even agree. Except that they think it's just "voice" and it belongs to G-O-D.

Edited by Churchhoney
"ever" and "even": not the same thing
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I just IMDb'd it, it's a religious themed movie from 2002.

Here's the synopsis: A Bible professor from 1890 comes forward in time to the present via a time machine and cannot believe the things that he sees!             

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7 hours ago, kalamac said:

I just IMDb'd it, it's a religious themed movie from 2002.

Here's the synopsis: A Bible professor from 1890 comes forward in time to the present via a time machine and cannot believe the things that he sees!             

What? Like cell phones and the Internet? Or the total failure of the quiverful movement? Or evil married gay couples? Black presidents? Trans women? Reality TV that normailizes molestation?

It's probably a lot of work to talk Jill into watching any kind of media, so kudos to Derick for that.

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(edited)

I guess there are worse things the former Love Boat captain could be doing. No doubt he's likely a more sincere, likeable, and informed Christian than some of the Duggars (some -because I won't snark on the littles) and their ilk.

Edited by Arwen Evenstar
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(edited)
10 minutes ago, poopchute said:

Date night is watching a movie on your laptop? What do they do any other night?  

They make "sweet fellowship", don't  ya know! 

So when's Bath Day?

House Cleaning  Day?

Edited by Arwen Evenstar
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40 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

So that's what Gavin McLeod is up to these days. 

Not to mention Hal Linden. Merrill Stubing meets Barney Miller. That could be a series.

11 minutes ago, poopchute said:

Date night is watching a movie on your laptop? What do they do any other night?  

The world of courtship sets a very low bar on expectations for date nights.

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(edited)
1 hour ago, Kokapetl said:

So that's what Gavin McLeod is up to these days. 

That broke my heart. Murray. :(

Edited by Aja
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