Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[Brattinella]

I don't have the ass for it.

[RealityGal]

I don't have the ass for it.

awww, don't be modest now.  Besides, after having watched RuPauls drag race I've realized that if god didn't give you an ass with scissors and some simple padding you can give yourself an ass.

[Bort]

I don't have the ass for it.

Very few people have the ass that Nikki Minaj has.

[ABay]

I misread that as "are the ass that Nikki Minaj is."

Edited November 5, 2014 by ABay

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I misread that as "are the ass that Nikki Minaj is."

 

I needed a laugh this morning, so thanks for that, ABay.

[Portia]

My favorite thing about Creepy Rob Lowe is the way he's every-so-subtly rubbing Regular Rob Lowe's back when they're standing side by side. Ew! OMG, I used to work with that guy!  

[Prevailing Wind]

I think we all worked with that guy at one time or another.  LOL.

[Brattinella]

This commercial for Ally Bank, implying that a customer who questions their bank's policies are just dimwitted.  This one says Hidden fees?  Why are you afraid of that? (not in those exact words, but implied) There is another one that says "Why are you afraid of trying new things?" 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPWfgsESlG4

[Prevailing Wind]

I really hate the one for Ally bank where the woman has a robot dog and orders it to drink water.  WTF?

[Brattinella]

Yep, that's the one where she is criticized for not liking to try new things.

[backformore]

I know, I know.  Its just that KMart normally goes out of their way to try to convince you that the stuff you're going to buy there is going to be quality....at least in the commercials, but damn, all that stuff looked awful.  It looked like the sort of thing you give people shit for buying at KMart!

 

The clothes in the K-Mart ad look exactly like the kind of clothes you would see on someone with platinum  blonde hair and a three-inch wide black section on the top. 

 

In short, if you want to look cheap and trashy, imitate Nicki  Manaj's hairstyle, and buy her line of clothes at K-Mart.  Just be sure to buy the clothes at least  one size too small, though, or you won't achieve the right level of trashiness. 

[Rick Kitchen]

I misread that as "are the ass that Nikki Minaj is."

 

that, too.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

This commercial for Ally Bank, implying that a customer who questions their bank's policies are just dimwitted.  This one says Hidden fees?  Why are you afraid of that? (not in those exact words, but implied) There is another one that says "Why are you afraid of trying new things?" 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPWfgsESlG4

 

Is it wrong that I watched that and laughed both when he flung himself backwards through the glassed in door and when the squirrel or whatever it was attacked him?

[Bastet]

I laughed out loud when he fell through the door upon being surprised. 

 

I haven't seen the other one (about being afraid to try new things), but I don't think the bank rep's tone in asking him why he's afraid of hidden things is condescending.  She'd already answered his direct question about hidden fees, and then he brought up his general fear of hidden things (and now I'm laughing again picturing that surprise party) ... she seemed fairly open and friendly when asking him about it.

[Brattinella]

Here's the one with "Trying new things".

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43AUFOdY2HA

[xls]

Not sure where to put this cute ride-on truck that apparently poops on big sister, while mom and dad smile in delight.

Edited November 6, 2014 by xls

[Prevailing Wind]

 

Here's the one with "Trying new things".

That's a shortened version - her telling the robot dog to drink water has been cut.

[Brattinella]

Here you go, full version with robot dog.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_y-Xjg99BE

[Prevailing Wind]

Thank you.  Now...why would anyone think a robot needs a drink?  I get that the Roomba may get its nourishment from the crumbs it picks up, but...

[CarpeDiem54]

The clothes in the K-Mart ad look exactly like the kind of clothes you would see on someone with platinum  blonde hair and a three-inch wide black section on the top. 

 

In short, if you want to look cheap and trashy, imitate Nicki  Manaj's hairstyle, and buy her line of clothes at K-Mart.  Just be sure to buy the clothes at least  one size too small, though, or you won't achieve the right level of trashiness.

I work in a rather "diverse" neighborhood. I swear to God I saw a hooker wearing that pink number on my commute home the other night. I always wondered where hookers got those getups they wear. Now I know!

BTW - this was on Halloween and she was standing next to someone covered in blood with a fake knife stuck to their back. In front of the police station. None of the cops coming and going paid any attention. It was a hoot.

[RealityGal]

I work in a rather "diverse" neighborhood. I swear to God I saw a hooker wearing that pink number on my commute home the other night. I always wondered where hookers got those getups they wear. Now I know!

BTW - this was on Halloween and she was standing next to someone covered in blood with a fake knife stuck to their back. In front of the police station. None of the cops coming and going paid any attention. It was a hoot.

Ha!  Nikki Minaj....secretly dressing America's hookers since 2014.  I love that no one cared......I get Halloween, but still.

[CarpeDiem54]

I'm sure those cops have seen everything. Across the street in one direction is a very large sex/porn shop. Across the street in front of the station is one of the largest liquor stores in the city (covers half a block and three stories high) and the parking lot is full of SUVs driven by hipsters stocking up their wine cellars. Of course, they have to step over the homeless people who are hanging about. And dodge the hookers.

[CherZ]

Go away, creepy grandpa guy, and leave the poor girl alone with her ugly dresses

 

Oh man, I don't know who is worse. Creepy eHarmony guy or spastic chick who HAS to get married, because you know, she's always a bridesmaid...

 

And I have to laugh at the part where she says she's on 14 different dating sites? Desperate much? Ugh.

[Bruinsfan]

Yikes, is her search for available men a full-time job?

My favorite thing about Creepy Rob Lowe is the way he's every-so-subtly rubbing Regular Rob Lowe's back when they're standing side by side. Ew! OMG, I used to work with that guy!  

My read of Regular Rob Lowe's ego is that sex with himself would be the best thing ever, so Creepy Rob Lowe may be in luck.

[RealityGal]

Oh man, I don't know who is worse. Creepy eHarmony guy or spastic chick who HAS to get married, because you know, she's always a bridesmaid...

 

And I have to laugh at the part where she says she's on 14 different dating sites? Desperate much? Ugh.

 

 

Yikes, is her search for available men a full-time job?

 

 

You just know she is a Yogurt Bitch, she just has that look about her.  I bet that has far more to do with her situation than simply not being available enough or not on the right site.

[Ubiquitous]

 Did you all know that Nikki Manaj has a collection......at KMart?  It is all such a perfect fit.  Apparently this is the ad that is supposed to sell you on this klassy kollection of klothing.  How does the clothing manage to look cheap in the commercial?  I mean normally they at least try to make it look good for the commercials, but this seriously looks like some shit you can pick up at the swap meet.

 

http://youtu.be/l64Tsz4amYo

I can only guess K-Mart is trying to get a piece of the Kardashian slutwear line market sold by SEARS...

 

I really hate the one for Ally bank where the woman has a robot dog and orders it to drink water.  WTF?

Oh, I've been meaning to mention this ad for awhile. Is this woman stupid?

[bilgistic]

There are a couple of commercials for Grand Marnier that I've seen online. Some stupid white hipster guy no older than, say, 32, with a stupid wide mohawk and a stupid Dwight Schrute short-sleeve shirt and stupid tie gets onstage, takes over the microphone and starts beatboxing while the band plays. One commercial has a salsa band and the other is a jazz(?) band. In both commercials, the band gets all into it and the audience is smiling and dancing along. The guy is a total douchecanoe and in real life, the band would push him offstage. I hate that guy so much. It doesn't help that the commercial plays at every single break in whatever I'm watching online.

 

Oh, god, there are three commercials. Here's the "country" one:
http://youtu.be/VkwuFjPtJJs

 

Here's the salsa commercial. I do like the "WTF?" look one bandmember gives the jackass.

 

I'm sorry.

[Prevailing Wind]

You should be.  hahahaha.

 

Although, in the salsa one, the WTF?-looking guy looks like he's also a douchebag that jumped up on stage just to shake his maracas and "the look" is because this other douchebag is out-doing him in making asses of themselves.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

You just know she is a Yogurt Bitch, she just has that look about her.  I bet that has far more to do with her situation than simply not being available enough or not on the right site.

 

Maybe if she goes to K Mart and buys some of Nicki MInaj's all-weather hookerwear, that might help her chances.

[RealityGal]

Maybe if she goes to K Mart and buys some of Nicki MInaj's all-weather hookerwear, that might help her chances.

By god!  what an amazing idea way to hide her obvious future as a Yogurt Bitch!  Nicki Minaj looks like a lot of things, but she does not look like she avidly eats disgusting 80 calorie Yoplait.

[ShadowSixx]

It probably has been posted but I haven't been in this one for a while but this commercial drives me up the wall and it must stop. Bad actress, bad rapping, just bad everything. I wouldn't even think about going there, I can just imagine opening the doors to that place and she pops out from behind the counter and starts rapping.

 

Edited November 8, 2014 by ShadowSixx

[Prevailing Wind]

But it's REAL mon-ay!

[merylinkid]

It is also as bad as payday loans.   You are basically putting a lien on your car.   That must be paid back.   If you don't pay it back, they take your car.    Notice they fail to mention that little detail in the ad.

[nottopbravo]

I don't know why but she reminds me of Paul McCartney's ex Heather Mills.

 

Who doesn't have a leg to stand on.  Okay, I'm outta here.

Edited November 8, 2014 by nottopbravo

[CarpeDiem54]

LOL!! There's a local anchor woman here named Heather Mills. Every time I see her, I think, "Gee, you didn't invest the fortune you bilked out of Sir Paul wisely, did you?"

I was watching TV with a male friend one night and Giant Viagra Head Lady appeared on the screen. He visibly was shaken and said that if she popped up in front of him like that, he'd lose his "manhood", too.

[CousinOliver]

Old Navy coat ad may lead to emotional instability with me.  At first, I gave it a pass because of Amy Poehler.  But it's in heavy rotation and it needs to stop.

 

 

Also, there's a Time Warner ad that's in very high rotation right now.  It seems like wherever TW can't sell and ad they put this one in, sometimes several times in a row.  It ends with "oh, Jagger" and it makes my hand instinctively reach for the remote. 

[sofaslug]

There really needs to be a category "Ads that make you gag or barf".

I hate, hate, HATE the Cookie Jam ad with that woman licking what we're supposed to believe is a display window. Who does that?! Geez, even the kid in the Werther's Caramel ads has more restraint.

<shudder>

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I was watching TV with a male friend one night and Giant Viagra Head Lady appeared on the screen. He visibly was shaken and said that if she popped up in front of him like that, he'd lose his "manhood", too.

 

Seriously. I want to hide every time I see that enormous face taking up my entire television screen. In Hi Def she's even more terrifying.

[RealityGal]

I hate, hate, HATE the Cookie Jam ad with that woman licking what we're supposed to believe is a display window. Who does that?! Geez, even the kid in the Werther's Caramel ads has more restraint.

<shudder>

ewwww, a bum probably peed on that window.

[GaT]

I want to add every holiday commercial made. Ever. I'm already sick to death of Christmas, & we haven't even had Thanksgiving yet. Then of course we'll go right into New Year's & the sparkling wine commercials. There should be a moratorium on commercials from September through February.

[Rick Kitchen]

OMG, there should be a thread for horrifying ads!  There's a new Rob Lowe ad with "crazy hairy Rob Lowe" and he looks like Sasquatch.  It's disgusting!

[CarpeDiem54]

OMG, there should be a thread for horrifying ads! There's a new Rob Lowe ad with "crazy hairy Rob Lowe" and he looks like Sasquatch. It's disgusting!

I just had a moderate to severe attack of peeing my pants! Guess I'd better call that company that will discreetly send me a case of Depends.

Edited November 10, 2014 by CarpeDiem54

[Aquarius]

OMG, there should be a thread for horrifying ads!  There's a new Rob Lowe ad with "crazy hairy Rob Lowe" and he looks like Sasquatch.  It's disgusting!

 

Horrifying and how!  The comb stuck in his back hair <shudder>.

 

What gets me most about this one:  how in the fuckity fuck is DirectTV going to prevent you from becoming "that" guy?  Either you are unfortunate enough to have overactive hair follicles or you are not.  Unlike (arguably) modifiable behaviors like creepiness or social awkwardness, subscribing to the "cool" DirectTV service is not going to do a damn thing for your super hairiness.  What's next?  Diabetic Rob Lowe?  Wheelchair Rob Lowe?

[Bort]

Maybe the implication is that Rob Lowe IS that hairy but the presence of mind that he has to get DirecTV is same he has to go get a wax.

[Brattinella]

Still laughing over this, Aquarius!

 

Off-topic; anyone who is in line to get bad weather in the next few day, BEST WISHES!  Pile up that fireplace-wood, canned food, etc.

[potatoradio]

I was tired of "Mony Mony" when it was released in the 80s* - am now super over it now that Nissan features a dude singing along to it and trying to get everyone on the road to sing it with him. Nobody in the commercial can sing, which is also annoying. Keep it in the shower, or keep your windows closed, or shut up.

 

Also, he's doing it wrong. The lyrics (as anyone who danced this song ad nauseum in the 80s knows) are not "...singing 'Mony Mony'..." They are: "..singing 'mony mony'...Hey! Hey! Hey! Get laid, get f*cked!" Those kids on the school bus should really learn it correctly. 

 

*Oops - by "released" I meant "the first time I heard it," which, of course, is not the same thing!

Edited November 10, 2014 by potatoradio

[Brattinella]

Mony Mony was recorded in 1968 by Tommy James and the Shondells. I think it was Billy Idol who re-recorded it in the 80's.

[Bastet]

Yes, it's the Billy Idol version in the commercial.  I like the guy on the motorcycle who just shakes his head, but then when he gets home he's singing it to himself.  Since I haven't heard the song in eons, I'm enjoying it, but I imagine I'll get sick of it now as quickly as I did then.

[heebiejeebie]

I don't understand and have come to loathe the Toyota ads with the young hipster lady who takes a ride in her new car and "wins" a storage locker and goes on a special snowflake roadtrip with a guitar.  How the fuckitty fuck does the car have anything to do with any of her decisions that any other brand of car couldn't do.

 

Her single sentence line reading is a huge part of annoyance as well.

[wovenloaf]

I don't understand and have come to loathe the Toyota ads with the young hipster lady who takes a ride in her new car and "wins" a storage locker and goes on a special snowflake roadtrip with a guitar.  How the fuckitty fuck does the car have anything to do with any of her decisions that any other brand of car couldn't do.

 

Her single sentence line reading is a huge part of annoyance as well.

Is that the one where she supposedly finds Lucille and returns it to BB King? That commercial is so stupid on so many levels. What market are they even trying to go after? People that buy a Camry on the basis of random anecdotes that have nothing to do with a Camry?

 

On a related note: Toyota now has a copyright infringement suit against them for that commercial: http://www.courthousenews.com/2014/10/22/72680.htm