Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[friendperidot]

Jamoche, thanks for the info about the dress, I'll look it up.

[lachesis]

Lachesis, have you seen the one with a marionette son who gets caught in the ceiling fan and dumb ol' Dad is being an ass? "Now you can fly!"  About on par with the girlfriend  marionette that can't pour lemonade!

I am surprised not to see more about those ads. Maybe they are too new?

Since I've posted, I have seen the one with the marionette son at least twice. Oddly, it doesn't upset me as much as the one with the girlfriend/wife. Either way, bad parenting even having a ceiling fan that could interfere with the strings of your loved one(s). Which brings me to another ponder... is the actor who plays the "human" the same one for both ads? Is the marionette woman the mother of the marionette child? And as bilgistic pointed out, where's the dad/husband maroinette?

I'm giving this way too much thought.

[bilgistic]

Oh, but here's the thing about those commercials, and there's always a thing. The whole point is that there are no "wires", right? But in small print on the screen is a disclaimer that one of the transmitter boxes/DVRs/whatevers in your home has to be wired. So, really, Assholes Who Made These Commercials, what was the point with the marionettes??

 

It actually makes me angry, because in any case, the boxes have to be plugged in--with a cord to your electrical outlet. I mean, I could be wrong, and a DVR could run on batteries, but I've seen a lot of different models in my day, and I've never seen one that ran on batteries. We'd surely get stupid commercials about how much better for the environment battery-run models are than electrical-powered ones are. Because batteries don't end up in the landfill or anything.

 

lachesis, I feel you on thinking too much about this. I need stronger meds.

Edited April 25, 2014 by bilgistic

[lachesis]

You're making my head hurt! I never even thought about the actual product which I guess didnt work as the company intended.

Another annoying ad I've been thinking about is one that comes on a lot during the day. A Boston dentist advertises itself as kid-oriented. It starts off with an animated coloring book style with a mom, son, and daughter and a little girl doing the voice over. "My mommy thaid one day we had to go to the dentitht! Thee called (name of practice) and we got to thee them the very thame day!" The makers of this ad probably thought this girl's voice was the most precious thing they've heard all day. More like rage inducing. Now its all about sound here so unless some other kind folks from the same area have seen this abomination and can find a clip, I'm afraid you'll have to make do with my description. The backround music sounds like they used something like the casio keyboard I had as a kid. If that didn't sound bad enough, the girl's mouth is superimposed with a real person's mouth.

[Prevailing Wind]

Every last one of those people who can't decide between a Camry and a Camry need to be run over by both Camries.  Especially the woman at the end who has an orgasm when her husband reveals to her that he bought the Camry for her.

 

And what kind of idiot husband would buy a car for his wife withOUT her input?

Edited April 26, 2014 by Prevailing Wind

[Bastet]

I'm quite perplexed by the number of car commercials - especially luxury cars, and especially at the holidays - in which someone surprises their partner with a car as a gift.  I'd feel like an ingrate, but I'd be annoyed if someone bought me a car without my input (and particularly uncomfortable if it was a partner); it's not like a sweater I can exchange for one more to my tastes, and if I'm going to be driving something for 15-20 years, I want to be the one choosing its features.

[riley702]

15 to 20 years? Damn, I drive mine 'til they drop, but have only gotten, at the most, 12 years out of one. Nine out of the last one, before the repair was higher than the value of the car. 

[OSM Mom]

We've got an 1988 Jeep with almost 400,000 miles on it, and still going strong. So it's possible. And our son has a 1982 Chevy that runs like a champ. Maybe they used to make them better.

Edited April 26, 2014 by OSM Mom

[Bastet]

Yeah, about 15 years on the first one (and it could have gone longer) and I'm at year 16 on my current one.  But even if I was only going to drive it for five years, I'd want to choose its features.  I just don't get the concept of a car as a surprise gift.  A gift, in that someone else pays for it once the person has picked it out, I'm familiar with.  But I've never known anyone to do the walk out into the driveway and find a car with a big red bow on it routine, yet it's a total theme in commercials.

[ramble]

My dad actually did the car with the giant bow for my mom. It was a 20 year anniversary gift. I suppose by then he knew her pretty well. He knew the make/model she been wanting for awhile & got it completely loaded. She loved it & drove it more than 10 years. So it can work in the right circumstances I suppose.

[BK1978]

I hate those stupid Sprint family (Heck even the autocorrect on this site hates the word because when I just wrote it, the autocorrect corrected it.) commercials.  Why the hell is there a woman married to a hamster?

 

I do have to admit I did laugh during one of the commercials when the guy said his name was Gor Don and not Gordon because I know people who insist on having people pronounce their normal names in a messed up manner.

[riley702]

I think I snarled at GorDON for being a pretentious, special snowflake that wants to mooch off others. As he blinks at you with a vacuous expression. I admittedly don't have a high tolerance for people like that.

 

And the vehicle that lasted 12 years bit the dust 10, 000 miles short of a quarter million! I was pretty miffed at it letting me down like that.

Edited April 27, 2014 by riley702

[Maverick]

I loathe the Framily ads.  I think they're supposed to be surreal but they're really just dumb.   I'm kind of on the fence about Kyle Mooney on SNL, but these commercials are not raising my opinion of him. 

[AntiBeeSpray]

This one...

 

 

GO AWAY!!!!!!!

[riley702]

"I think I broke my spleen!" 

[Prevailing Wind]

I use their insurance, but Flo should be bundled off to somewhere else.  Preferably with those two Sonic guys in multiple Camries.

[bilgistic]

I (ir)rationally hate Progressive because I believe they aren't being truthful about their "we compare rates and show you the best, even if it's not ours" feature. Never, in several attempts throughout the years, have they ever shown me different rates at different companies. Maybe it's because of my state (NC), but if one of their major selling points touted on their asinine commercials doesn't work, I inherently distrust them.

[janie jones]

Although he'd never do it because he'd want my input, my husband probably could pick out a car for me that I'd be satisfied with.  However, I can't imagine ever being in a financial situation that would allow one of us to make such a big purchase without consulting the other.  I think that's the thing that bothers me more than the driver not having input.  It's completely unrealistic for the vast majority of people.

[Rick Kitchen]

This ad came on our TV today and it totally freaked me out.  Is this over-suntanned freak supposed to be a dermatologist?

 

[P2C2E]

I think that guy was on The Doctors? Maybe? If that's him, then he's supposedly a plastic surgeon. 

[bilgistic]

He looks not dissimilar to George Hamilton, for a couple of reasons.

[ShellSeeker]

 

That redhead chick in the Wendy's ads, one in particular makes me want to slap her in the face until she bleeds. It's the one where she and her oh-so-hip friends are sitting around a sidewalk cafe shoveling Wendy;s chibatta or whatever burgers in their maws and there's a dude at another table who has a regular sandwich and he says something like, "Not a Chibatta," and redhead chick says in the most condescending sneery McSneeryson smarmy mcHipster shitbag disdainful tone imaginable, "He must a forgotta," and then finishes it off with a chuckle. So want ot grab her Chibatta and force it down her throat until she chokes to death on it.

 

I hate that chick in every single one of those Wendy's commercials. In the history of mankind, has anyone ever really been so smugly satisfied for having the idea to go get some greasy fast food? You went and got a burger, you didn't discover the cure for cancer, so why are you so self-satisfied? Ugh. Shut the hell up!

[MrsEVH]

The Taco bell commercial with all the various guys named Ronald McDonald.

[RedZoneTuba]

Sorry, the Wendy's gal gets my "too cute to hate" exemption.

 

(It must be a guy thing.)

[The Crazed Spruce]

Sorry, the Wendy's gal gets my "too cute to hate" exemption.

 

(It must be a guy thing.)

Must be, 'cause I'm right there with you. :)

[Ghost of TWOP Past]

Why did Haagen-Dazs think it was a good idea to sell gelatto with a couple having screaming arguments in Italian? Nice throwback to the ethnic stereotypes of yesteryear, guys. 

[Lillybee]

This was a Charmin commercial. It opens up with a firehouse in Rockaway (I think) that is slowly recovering and being rebuilt after Hurricane Sandy. The firefighters are bitching about the scratchy tp that they are forced to use. Then a truck drops off a huge amount of Charmin TP and all rejoice. Gag, I worked for the City of New York and we all had scratchy tp. BTW, I hate the Charmin bears.

[bilgistic]

This was a Charmin commercial. It opens up with a firehouse in Rockaway (I think) that is slowly recovering and being rebuilt after Hurricane Sandy. The firefighters are bitching about the scratchy tp that they are forced to use. Then a truck drops off a huge amount of Charmin TP and all rejoice. Gag, I worked for the City of New York and we all had scratchy tp. BTW, I hate the Charmin bears.

I commented on this commercial on TWoP:

 

I saw a Charmin commercial wherein NJ firefighters were rebuilding their firehouse after devastation from Hurricane Sandy. One of the firefighters complained about the toilet paper. Because they didn't have a lot of money due to the rebuild, they were scrimping on TP, I think? He mentioned the TP was "like sandpaper". Anyway, we then see that Charmin has come to the rescue with pallets and pallets of free TP. Of course, I think, "Where are they going to store all of that?"

 

No bears, though, so... (unless they store the TP in the woods behind the station and bears make off with the TP).

 

I found it:

Charmin donated over 10,000 rolls of toilet paper to the Moonachie, New Jersey fire department a year after Hurricane Sandy. This gift of soft and strong toilet paper let the fire station focus on more important problems as they worked to rebuild after the devastation left by Sandy.

[Prevailing Wind]

 

This ad came on our TV today and it totally freaked me out.  Is this over-suntanned freak supposed to be a dermatologist?

I saw him yesterday in a commercial for one of those bathtubs with the doors in the side.  I can't imagine how dorky you'd have to feel, getting naked, walking into your tub and sitting there, waiting for it to fill...and later, sitting there, waiting for it to empty before you can open those doors again.  You *really* have to like taking baths.

[bilgistic]

Are you sure that wasn't Pat Boone? (I don't think this is the commercial that airs on TV.) This was discussed at length on TWoP, and it cracked me up! One commenter said her mom said she didn't want to see "Pat Boone's saggy titties"! Good times!

[Prevailing Wind]

No, it was *that* guy.  I was in the waiting room at a doc-in-a-box and I got up & went over to the TV to get a better look.  It's that soap opera fake-tan guy.  Boone's face is more rectangular.  The guy above has a square face.

Edited May 5, 2014 by Prevailing Wind

[Aquarius]

I do have to admit I did laugh during one of the commercials when the guy said his name was Gor Don and not Gordon because I know people who insist on having people pronounce their normal names in a messed up manner.

 

This cracks me up too.

 

I really can't stand the DirectTV marionettes. I don't like marionettes to begin with but the whole freaking premise is beyod annoying.  And that stupid kid marionette, the way his eyes roll up to the ceiling in what I guess is supposed to be a sad expression, it makes me want to take a match to him.

 

And correct me if I'm wrong.  Don't televisions need to be plugged in too?  We don't have one of those newfangled sets you can hang on the wall, but unless you have an outlet installed directly behind it, wouldn't there be wires coming out of the set?  I just don't understand how the set has no wires. 

Edited May 7, 2014 by Aquarius

[CoderLady]

I'm sure DirectTV intends for me to be thinking of buying their service (never!) instead of these things:

• Who is operating the strings?
• Is that boy puppet really the guy's son? How did that happen? Hint: try using the words "wood" and "splinters" and "pecker" in the same sentence. Ack.

Sorry.

And yeah, Aquarius - I'm also getting hung up on thinking something has to be plugged in somewhere. It ain't magic.

[Eliot]

Hint: try using the words "wood" and "splinters" and "pecker" in the same sentence.

 

But whatever you do, don't Google that.

[janie jones]

I hate Toyota Jan more and more with every new commercial I see.  There's one I've started seeing recently where this spelling bee kid is spelling words.  I can't stand the way she cheerfully announces that she never won a spelling be.

[Rick Kitchen]

Jan's expecting a baby.  Do we care?

[lachesis]

Picture it: a serene yoga class and a bunch of people gettin' their nirvana on when suddenly...

A crappy ringtone startles everyone and Maxwell the fucking geico pig stands up and chortles about a notification or some shit from geico. Then the phone rings again and he answers "hi mom." Take that crap outside, you rude jerk.

I'm officially done with the pig. He is bacon to me.

[OSM Mom]

I keep waiting for him to be special guest at a luau.

[St. Claire]

Picture it: a serene yoga class and a bunch of people gettin' their nirvana on when suddenly...

A crappy ringtone startles everyone and Maxwell the fucking geico pig stands up and chortles about a notification or some shit from geico. Then the phone rings again and he answers "hi mom." Take that crap outside, you rude jerk.

I'm officially done with the pig. He is bacon to me.

Agreed. I can't believe that everyone in the class chuckled at the interruption instead of helping him get into corpse pose.

[Portia]

Ugh, Maxwell. Sometimes I just can't understand what the advertisers were thinking. "Let's create a really creepy anthropomorphic pig, and then to make him less appealing, let's give him a really douchey personality. Perfect! Say, how about we do a commercial where he's on a date with a human girl? Nothing sells insurance like implied bestiality!"

[Bastet]

This is the same company that thought a couple eating their daughter's pet fish as a cheap substitute for sushi made for a funny commercial.

[Jamoche]

Geico has been dead to me since they didn't make it clear that the reason I was saving money with them was that they didn't provide collision insurance for 10+ year old cars. I was in college, I didn't know what to look for. The obnoxious commercials are just frosting on the Geico-hate.

[BabyVegas]

Re: The gelatto commercial, am I the only one who sees Joan Cusack when she starts yelling? That's all I can think every time I see that commercial.

 

But now to the reason I popped into this thread: Somebody make the Crest Pro-Health commercial with the girl who is obsessed with impressing her dental hygienist go away, please? Does she have a crush on her hygienist? Whatever it is, it's creepy and weird. And over the top. Girl, this chick sees teeth all day long. I highly doubt she cares at all about your choppers. 

Edited May 13, 2014 by BabyVegas

[LisaMarie]

Apple IPhone Hello Commercial - Random people saying hello in many different ways. Why is that "Guten-Morning" woman in the ocean with her phone? What's so important that you feel the need to have your phone handy while swimming? Is it waterproof? How about the guy on the swing in his apartment saying "hello - make it fast because he's in the middle of something" What? Your swing? You're in the middle of a swing douche-bag! And the taxi driver - "stop calling me!" Okay - ummm.... your a cab driver, and your business relies on people calling you for rides. I guess we'll stop calling you and phone a different taxi company. The girl that "meows" in her friend's phone. Meow? Seriously - you just meowed.If you were five it would be cute but you're not five anymore so it's just plain dumb.

have to add this to the list - Charmin Toilet Paper - those cartoon bears spend an extraordinary amount of time in that bathroom - and what's with the butt-inspections? Even the youngest bear has mastered the art of wiping but the two older kids and their father haven't?

oh someone mentioned the Wendy's chic - super annoying - she's not even hot, can't understand the make attraction to this chick - also she's far too pushy - how does she know the baconator would look good with that chair? What if the guy is a vegetarian? Her male co-worker in the next cubicle looks like he's afraid of her - does she always mock other people's lunch? I just get annoyed with her snotty - quirky, trying to be a cool pixie girl.

AND (I can't say this enough) ANYTHING with Children SINGING in it - it really grates on my nerves - it's 10:00 pm I'm watching some kind of crime drama - then BAM! A commercial with the sound of high-pitched slightly off key voices bleating a shaky half-rehearsed tune launching me straight out of my chair.

[Prevailing Wind]

Wow!  You sure are curmudgeonly today.  But I agree with every damn thing you said.  Makes me the Cranky Old Broad for the day.  LOL.

[Aquarius]

Even the youngest bear has mastered the art of wiping but the two older kids and their father haven't?

 

But the youngest bear is smart!  You can tell because he wears glasses.

[AntiBeeSpray]

Any and all political ads. They're bombarding the airwaves and I'm SICK and tired of them -_- Along with any and all drug ads, along with their long lists of side effects, etc.

Edited May 15, 2014 by AntiBeeSpray

[janie jones]

Jan's expecting a baby.  Do we care?

So, in the spelling bee commercial, Jan stands up out of her seat and leans forward and at first I was like, she looks kind of pregnant with her shirt like that, but I didn't think anything of it until I saw the one where she was pregnant.  Now I wonder if they had her stand up in the spelling bee one on purpose so people could see her belly.

[Tabbyclaw]

Amazon, please explain to me how "apparently tailored for ease of use by people with tenuous grips on reality" is a selling point for your Fire TV.

[AntiBeeSpray]

Amazon, please explain to me how "apparently tailored for ease of use by people with tenuous grips on reality" is a selling point for your Fire TV.

Seconded. That makes NO sense. Come on, Amazon!