My daughter is a super sporty girl. She is the only girl on her flag football team (and also the QB), she does tae kwon do, plays softball, and tried rugby over the summer. Enough people who don’t share DNA with her have said various versions of, “Holy cow! Look at that arm/swing/throw/shot!” to know that it’s not just me being a proud mom when I say that she’s a very talented and gifted athlete.
Last fall, one of the flag football dads (let’s call him Terry) sent around an email to see if there was any interest in forming a basketball team. My daughter wanted to play, so we signed her up. The coaches were Terry and another dad (let’s call him Randy) who was also a flag football coach. The season went well, and my daughter had a good time and held her own with the boys. It did seem like Randy (the FF coach) didn’t play her as much as he did his son, but I dismissed it because as a parent it’s hard to know if you’re being objective about that kind of thing or not.
When flag football started up again this fall, I asked Terry if they were going to do basketball again, and he said he and Randy were still working out the details. A few days later, my husband and I got an email from Randy saying that some other boys had expressed interest in playing, our daughter would have to transition to a girls team eventually, and he and Terry wanted to form a team that could keep playing together for the next few years. He gave us a couple suggestions for girls’ teams. I took it to mean that he was saying that since our daughter would have to start playing on girls teams sometime in the next year or 2, now seemed like a good time to make the transition. I sent a reply thanking Randy and Terry for having her on the team last year, and said that my daughter had expressed interest in playing on a girls’ team anyway (which she had), so the timing was probably good all the way around. My husband, on the other hand, took it to mean that Randy just didn’t want her on the team. He’s very cynical, and I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, so our differing viewpoints were not surprising.
We signed her up for a girls’ basketball team. When we got the roster and schedules, we noticed that there was a team being coached by Randy. He has an uncommon last name, so it was pretty obvious. Randy has twins (boy and girl) and their son was on the flag football team for a couple seasons. And even though it sounds like bragging, my daughter truly is a much stronger athlete than his son.
Sure enough, the first basketball game was yesterday, and Randy showed up to coach his team in the game after ours. He walked right up to my husband, asked him how he was doing, and made pleasant chit-chat.
So now I think my husband was right. I have to wonder why Randy didn’t offer to let my daughter join the girls’ team he coaches, or at least say that he’s a coach in that league, but their roster was full so he didn’t have a space for her. Does he maybe have issues with my daughter being a stronger player than his son, or didn’t want her to outshine his daughter? I really don’t want to think that people are so shitty, especially when there are kids involved, but I’m having trouble coming up with any other explanation. Is Randy a douche, or just completely oblivious?